#do not be bigoted on this post I will block you

[anti-terf-posts]

Saw this somewhere. Can't remember who it is. Couldn't have said more truer.

[Image ID: A post that reads "don't debate terfs, they don't operate on logic, just reactivity from trauma. It's pretty sad, a lot of them have genuinely awful experiences that deserve to be acknowledged- but they spiral into hate over their own pain, and try desperately to justify their need for absolute control in order to feel safe. It's what actually makes them right wing/fascist: a desire for total authoritarian control over making sure what they see out in the world never causes discomfort. When you debate them, it just makes them feel more justified in their victim complex cult. Please try to block and move on /end ID]

Yeah actually. I've gotten one or two asks wondering why I have some level of sympathy for terfs, and why I greet ex-terfs with open arms into my space I've set up.

For one, as the post says, terfs' hatred usually stems from some form of trauma or negative experience with men or trans people. I came across a tiktok a while ago of a young girl sharing her shitty experience with her trans mother, who utilized her being trans to manipulate the girl in the tiktok.* The girl in the tiktok was replying to a bunch of comments, and even made a separate video explaining that she doesn't have any hatred for trans people, she just didn't like her mother. There was, however, an obvious red flag, which was her continuing to misgender her mother. (It wasn't just referring to her with they/them or "parent", it was straight-up using he/him and calling her "dad") This is where a good amount of terfs start out. It starts with misgendering one trans person who wronged them as a way to cope, and then it pipelines into hatred for all trans people. Whenever I come across these posts, I usually comment something like "I'm so sorry this happened to you and you had a bad experience with a trans person. What they did was unacceptable, and I hope you are able to heal. The majority of us aren't like this, so I hope you only have good experiences with us from now on."

It does feel a bit dehumanizing to have to convince someone that we're not bad people, but unfortunately, bigots tend to only listen when you treat them with kindness. (Not true 100% of the time of course, but it's a big enough number).

*going to make it as clear as possible; any comments/asks on this part in bad faith will be deleted. No, I do not think that the mother was faking being trans or wasn't actually trans. I do believe that the mother was actually trans, but she just happened to be a bad person who used her identity for evil. This isn't a very common experience, as this is like one of only a few times I've heard of this happening.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Please let me know if there are people being assholes or bigots in my comments or reblogs and I don't say or do anything, I have A LOT of people blocked on my main and tumblr is a fucking disaster so there's a lot of replies and reblogs I can't see on this blog.

Nothing quite like seeing "this reply is hidden because you have blocked the author" on one of your own posts and having no idea who it is or what they said 🙃

[lunarian-anarchist]

"Some 300 Majdal Shams residents protested a visit by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Monday, shouting that he was exploiting the bloodshed for political gain.

Only 20% of residents in Majdal Shams, part of the Golan Heights annexed by Israel in 1981, have accepted Israeli citizenship. Many still consider themselves citizens of Syria.

“For sure, it was not targeting Majdal Shams. There are many Israeli military bases around the town. I expect this threat was heading their way,” said Nabeeh Abu Saleh, a paramedic from the town who rushed to the scene of the attack on Saturday.

Nothing prepared Abu Saleh, who has 25 years of experience as a paramedic, for what he saw. Some body parts were found 100 yards from the explosion. One of his nephews was killed, another wounded.

The military said Iron Dome sirens have gone off in Majdal Shams 30 times during the conflict. A few months ago, a rocket landed short of the town, Abu Saleh said.

“We buried our children. We don’t want retaliation,” he said. “We have families in Lebanon, in Syria, and we have brothers here in Israel."

*EDIT* Here are the names I know so far;

1. Fajr Laith Abu Saleh, 16 years old

2. Amir Rabie Abu Saleh, 16 years old

3. Hazem Akram Abu Saleh, 15 years old

4. John Wadie Ibrahim, 13 years old

5. Izel Neshat Ayoub, 12 years old

6. Finis Adham Safadi, 11 years old

7. Yazan Naif Abu Saleh, 12 years old

8. Alma Ayman Fakhruddin, 11 years old

9. Naji Taher Halabi, 11 years old

10. Milad Muadad Al-Sha'ar, 10 years old

[exquisite-peculiarity]

Poll because I'm curious what the overall impression is for DNI banners.

Imagine you see a post with a DNI banner that condems stuff that you generally agree is bad.

Please reblog for sample size!

[autism-purgatory]

Girl help people who’ve never written anything are saying it’s bigoted to give queer, disabled, or poc characters flaws and depth and that its just a watsonian excuse for the writer to be bigoted. Yes that CAN exist (like the “she looks 12 but is actually 1000 years old! Bullshit) but to say it’s bigoted for a character to make stupid decisions or be mean with in-universe explanations (not justifications, explanations) in the writing, then you’re just trying to enforce the Hays Code Tumblr 2012 edition.

[panther-os]

hnnnnnng the fact that Carlos has been trained in gun safety for years, that he's been told "don't put your finger on the trigger unless you intend to fire" until it's second nature to him, that we only really see him with his finger on the trigger of a service weapon like half a second before he does fire it even when all his coworkers have had their fingers on triggers for seconds or minutes, that when he confronted the guy he thought killed his dad he had his finger on the trigger of that pistol the moment he took it out of his belt - maybe even the moment he stepped into the driveway - and he didn't remove it when Owen came running up or when he started to have doubts - not until it was completely clear the guy was 100% innocent (or until someone took it out of his hand, I need to rewatch the whole episode again instead of just clips)

it keeps me awake at night yk?

[funnier-as-a-system]

Just a heads up someone who @'d you recently (404shcats) is red on SE and likely a TERF. Thought you should know, stay safe broski

-Recoil

Hello. Thank you for the concern, but Shinigami Eyes is no longer a trustworthy tool for scouting transphobes such as TERFs. The person you mention addresses this in their pinned post here, and more information can be found in and in the notes of this post. In short, those who moderate and often report users through Shinigami Eyes have begun being/using it to be very transphobic in recent times, especially towards non-dysphoric trans people, trans men, trans people of color, and general trans + intersex inclusionists, framing these people as "transphobes" for not agreeing with common exclusionism and gatekeeping, much like how other inclusionists are framed as bigots for not participating in lateral aggression or discrimination against a particular group (e.g. this is what anti-endos do, framing all pro-endos as ableist for supporting endogenic systems). We do not use Shinigami Eyes and do not consider it a trustworthy source on who is or isn't a transphobe, as it is little more than a stranger's individual and vague review of someone with little to no evaluation from anyone else, which means it is subject to their bias and the bias of the few moderators that run it. I would highly recommend no longer using the tool from here on out and instead evaluating individual blogs for yourself. Other habits and tools that show more promise in avoiding transphobia/transphobes include:

Blocking tags related to TERFism, transphobia, and radical feminism.

Learning dogwhistles such as "womxxn", "womban/wombyn", and "gender traitors", often used by TERFs.

Blocking those who say things that TERFs often say, such as "testosterone is poison" or "all men are perverts", or who show concern about "men in women's bathrooms", "misguided/manipulated young girls mutilating their bodies", or "gender ideology".

Carefully considering posts you see about gender and sex related issues from people you don't know/trust, so as to check if they include subtle bioessentialism, gender essentialism, sexism, intersexism, or transphobia.

Listening to trans and intersex folk about their experiences with TERFs and transphobia/intersexism, so as to get a better idea of what to look out for and how to support trans and intersex people.

In other words, thank you for the concern, but please do not rely on word-of-mouth (as that is essentially how Shinigami Eyes works) to spread rumors on who is and is not a bigot without fact-checking. Fact-checking shows that this system is not a TERF. [PT: Fact-checking shows that this system is not a TERF. / end PT] I'd be surprised if any TERF was reblogging that many positive posts about trans folk and had several openly trans headmates.

[whatyouredyingtosee]

Hey gentle reminder that you can ignore those "Reblog! If you don't you're [extremely upsetting label here]" posts. You should ignore them, btw. You don't suddenly become a racist because you ignored someone trying to farm interaction, you don't become homophobic because you felt bad about exposing your followers and friends to that, you don't become a bigot because of other people trying to guilt trip you.

If you're not purposely causing harm to minority groups or hold bigoted beliefs, you don't suddenly become a bigot because you ignored someone being an ass. You're allowed to ignore guilt tripping messages and if someone gets irritated at you for ignoring them, tell them to get a grip. 🫂

Likewise, you're allowed to ignore:

Guilt tripping spam asks.

Scam asks.

"Reblog if your account is [group] safe!" posts

"If you don't reblog, I'm going to assume you're a [insert term here]" posts

"People are dying, you can spare some time to reblog" posts

Posts that show actual pictures of real life tragedy with the intent of hoping you spread it across the platform.

"How dare you donate to Ao3/Wikipedia when there's [insert other tragedies here] going on!" posts

Posts that imply that you shouldn't have a safe space and that it's cruel to have your account be a safe space.

Posts that say you shouldn't be happy while there's tragedies going on in the real world.

At the end of the day, 90% of those posts use the "other people have it worse" mindset and that ISN'T HEALTHY. You don't tell someone that's happy they aren't allowed to be happy because someone else is happier than them at the moment, so don't do it for pain and suffering.

Anyway, I suggest you block the people that make guilt tripping posts. Better for your mindset in the long run and people need to realize they can get their point across without triggering people's OCD/thought spirals.

[catboybiologist]

So.

Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.

Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.

Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.

They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.

And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.

All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?

Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.

And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.

Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.

And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.

Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.

They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.

They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.

And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.

It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.

Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.

Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.

But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.

Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.

Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.

And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.

[alt-zadr]

MORE INFO BELOW CUT

This event is inspired by the vintage culture of Invader Zim (1990s/2000s) and largely relates to fashion and media trends of that time. This year celebrates 5 years of the Alt-Zadr prompt event. The prompts of this year are inspired by the days of the very first Alt-Zadr seen here. RULES: Must be 18+ to enter  Both written and drawn submissions may apply To submit applications post to tumblr and tag your submission as @alt-zadr Do not harass the Artists/Writers  It is the preference of the blog creator that you depict Zim and Dib as Adult versions of the original characters. However, underage iterations of Zim and Dib will be posted if the artwork meets the criteria of Disney shipping (cheek kisses, holding hands, exchanging gifts, hugging, Not Being Sexual) I won't allow depictions of Racism, Sexism, Ped0 shit, Homophobia, Transphobia;  or anything else I think is deplorable. I personally will block you if you’re being disgusting or a bigot.

Trigger warnings MAY include: Blood, Eyestrain, Drugs, Needles, Cutting, Gore, Suicide Mention, Murder, Violence, Infanticide, Patricide, Negative Depictions of Hospitals, Gay Cartoon Characters, Guns, Weapons, Vomit, and much more!  Feel free to send asks about specific things you want tagged.  Disclaimer: This blog does not condone any unlawful or harmful acts depicted in the events submissions. I will do my best to tag content for trigger warnings but may screw up, I’m just one dude. Negative mental health symptoms such as suicidal ideation, violent tendencies, long lasting depression, and many unmentioned others; are all things that deserve to be depicted in art and shared within an understanding and mature community. Sharing your experience with other like minded people is an important part of the coping process, and makes us feel less alone when we face the dark feelings within ourselves. It’s ok to fuck up and do the things you’re not supposed to, no one is perfect. You deserve to get the most out of life that you can. Healing is a slow process and it’s ok to acknowledge your bad feelings through art. If you are experiencing mental health problems, please seek out a professional avenue for help, or find some kind of healthy coping mechanism. You will thank yourself when you look back on it.  Thank you, for reading my preachy little blurb about why leaking brain badness is good sometimes. Please enjoy the showcase <3

IDEAS FOR SUBMISSIONS: The categories and subcategories are loose and not strict, do what you want to with the prompts given, and have fun with it! 

Word prompts: Scene Word Generator  Art Ideas Generator Fashion Prompts: Goth fashion boards  Scene fashion boards Emo fashion boards Y2K fashion boards 

ART INSPO

[velvetvexations]

Chiming in on the whole "do tmascs/the transandrophobia community actually harass tfems on the scale that is claimed" thing, I've been wondering that for a while too, especially since back when [Popular Trans Blogger] was dealing with The Most Normal CEO Ever I saw literally EVERY SINGLE major voice in transandrophobia circles immediately drop everything, put aside all the harassment and hate they had faced, make it clear that trans people being harmed by cishet society comes before discussing deeper theory, and basically non-stop post about how she didn't deserve that and openly critique tumblr's transphobia and how it hurts tfems despite the fact that that user and her followers had been consistently vile to transmascs. Like they all jumped up to add their voices against the banning, it was so fucking clear they were able to prioritize protecting trans people no matter what, and no one ever really talks about it because they also don't gloat about putting the swords down for the greater good. It's just something they know needs to be done and they won't paint themselves as heroes or martyr for it.

On the other hand, I've never in my entire life seen a big TRF or anyone who travels in those circles ever stick their neck out when tmascs are experiencing harassment and transphobia, not once. Not even when it leads to the same unjust bans that tfems face(which do happen, at similar rates to tfem bloggers like the idea that the trans bans are a tfem only thing is simply not true). Like I've blogs that are constantly posting about how "if you never post anything about supporting trans women then you're probably a secret transmisognist" turn around and respond to people pointing out that they never post anything even vaguely supportive of tmascs(not even talking about discourse just the usual "trans men are valid and deserve support" positivity stuff that goes around) who are on their "side" by saying "um I'm a trans woman and this is my personal blog so I don't have to say nice things about trans men ever and it says absolutely nothing about me that I never have anything kind or nice to say about even the transmascs that are on my side/valid in my opinion and actually it's bigoted for you to demand I say nice things about other trans people fuck you kthxbye" and I just. What??

I know that there have been some cases of tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers harassing a trans woman, but like. It's pretty rare and usually only a couple of people. And that's still bad ofc but the scale is different for sure. In terms of big, influential tumblr users I swear every single time a popular tfem gets deactivated all the transandrophobia bloggers jump to their defense, meanwhile TRFs just gleefully go around attacking every trans guy who so much as breathes in their direction and calls you a transmisognist if you point out that it's fucked of them to have a double standard about trans rights. Or acts like "I said something bigoted and other members of my community got mad" is harassment. Like [Popular Tfem Musician] was def getting Harassed but I watched the whole thing unfold and while there were a few shitty tmascs chiming in, overall the harassment was led by an entirely different group who was mad about something unrelated, they just happened at the same time so everyone figured ALL the harassment was coming from tmascs when it very much was not.

(Also tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers are also constantly adding "if you're a follower and I see you bothering the person I'm talking about I'll report and block you myself" they like care a lot about all trans people and will show tf up for even ones they disagree with or who have directly harmed them when push comes to shove. [Popular MLP Tfem Artist] is still getting accused of harassing other trans women despite her constantly instructing her audience to leave everyone alone. And I have def seen way more transandrophobia bloggers call out any tmascs or other trans people on "their" side get ignored and deplatformed if they prove to be bad actors. I don't see TRFs doing that like. Ever. Like they go "take our the trash in your community" to tmascs but pretend they can't read when someone asks them to denounce people who openly harasses tmascs. Or just makes excuses for them because surely we can't actually harm a trans man, it doesn't count.)

But yeah I fully assume the reason TRFs say no one ever harasses tmascs but that they harass tfems all the time is because they simply do not think harassing trans people is wrong so long as it's directed at the correct target. I mean why would the "trans men don't have real problems" crowd ever actually say anything nice about them or help them when they're being harassed or tell their followers to leave them alone? It's just really sad to watch, big tmasc bloggers are not harassing people the way the TRFs want everyone to think, and they certainly don't harass other trans people the way TRFs do, but they get burdened with the harassment accusations and no one thinks to even check if that's actually what's happening.

10/10, I have nothing to add.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I get significantly less hate online than I did in the year after October 7th and I wish I could attribute it to the hate just fizzling out, but I know that’s not the case.

here’s the things that have made tumblr more livable for me to deal with antisemitism:

anon is off. if you want to say something to me you say it to my face. plenty of antisemites are more than happy to be terrible with their full chest, but a lot of them are chickenshit. this filters out a lot of hate.

the block button is my friend. if I see something hateful, I block. if it’s overt enough (saying “I hate the Jews” or “the Jews are like XYZ”) I report it. I also sometimes go into the notes to see who’s sharing these hateful posts and block a bunch of them preemptively.

don’t reward them for being hateful. they want the engagement, they want the reblogs & likes, they want the persecution complex of “(((the zionists))) are after me”, they want a lolcow to milk; don’t give it to them. if you get in a back-and-forth with them, their followers will jump on you too. if you give the post any notes, tumblr will recommend more like it. don’t reblog unrepentant bigots just to dunk on them or convince them they’re wrong.

don’t be quiet about it either. it does help to still push back, if you do so strategically, in ways that make it unrewarding to get into a back-and-forth with. screenshot it, dunk tank it on your own post rather than giving their post engagement. I do this in one of two ways:

if there’s anything productive to say about it, use it as a learning opportunity. don’t try to convince op they’re wrong. provide a better argument for other people that will inoculate them against op’s bad arguments; save the vitriol & justified anger, just show them how op is wrong & give a more grounded answer so people can avoid falling for it. don’t assume motive. stick to the facts. provide receipts. (if op is too all over the place to make screenshots readable & you paraphrase their argument, only do so for brevity; don’t rephrase “what they really meant”; try to keep their phrasing & work from there to unpack it) (sometimes it works to reblog a bad response to your own post, if you can respond to it in a way that reinforces the point of your original post)

if there is nothing productive to be gained from arguing and it’s just a stupid, truly rancid take, mock the shit out of it on your own post. don’t reach, don’t put words in their mouth, don’t make it about who they are. just show what they said and make fun of it. if it’s stupid enough it’ll stand on its own. don’t do this with takes that are complicated to unravel; that’s what the previous bulletpoint is for.

don’t take this as prescriptive; i’m not saying “this is The Right Way™️ to do it”. but it’s my own internal guidelines for a strategy that’s working for me. feel free to use it if it will help.

[lologoinsolo]

It Begins Here

Hello, Hello!! Nice to meet everyone!! I guess I should make a main post so I can get all my ducks in line.

My names Lolo, 20s, She/He/They. I write with a fat/plus size reader in mind because I myself am fat/plus size. I do write mostly fem readers but I also write neutral readers too. Right now I’m writing about the COD boys because they’ve put me in a chokehold and have kept me there for the last two years. I love the color blue the most!

WHAT I WRITE: Dark, Dubious, Consent NON Consent, Rape, Fluff and Feel Goods, and Horror.

Asks/Questions/Ideas are welcomed and appreciated!!

MY HARD NO’s

— I will absolutely NOT TOLERATE ANY KIND OF HATE. If you’re A TRANSPHOBIC HOMOPHOBIC BIGOTED RACIST then GET OFF MY BLOG. You will be IMMEDIATELY BLOCKED. I’m serious.

—MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED. If you have no age description. You. Will. Be. Blocked.

— I ask that you DO NOT put my writing into any kind of AI (c.ai, janitor.ai, and so on). I enjoy what I do and if I or someone else sends proof that my writing has been put into an AI, I will be devastated.

—I don’t do a taglist because I unfortunately will forget to tag

—Also… I’m not a big fan of König, he’s okay but he’s just not my cup of tea. Sorry.

My writing is put in 4 Compartments. Committed To, Fleeting Moments, Possible Resurrections, Shelved, click to see under the cut.

Committed To:

In The Shadows Masterlist | Monster141xFatFemReader— Mature, Dark, Horror

Fleeting Moments:

Bet It All Masterlist | JohnnyxFemReader— Mature

Cats and Their Men Masterlist | 141xFemReader— Fluff

Minds Us All Masterlist | Possible 141xFemReader or Just 141&FemReader— Mature

Decay, Watch Me Rot Masterlist | 141xSuicidalFemReader— Mature, Dark

Haunted House Masterlist | ghosts!141xFemReader— Mature

No Title Yet | RegencyGhoapxPrincessReader— Angst, Hurt/Comfort, More To Add Later

How I Think The 141 Boys Would Act Like In Different Situations/Scenarios Masterlist | CODxFemReader—Mature, Fluff

Possible Resurrection:

Venom!GhostxFemReader— Mature

Shelved:

Obsession | JohnnyxFatFemReader— Mature, Dark

ASKS ARE WELCOMED!!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

over the last 3 months i have seen myself called (and sometimes blocked for being assumed to be):

a racist/a bigot

homophobic/queerphobic/transphobic

ace/demi-phobic

a fascist

for expressing opinions such as "I found the characters and background stories in Veilguard weaker and less interesting than previous Dragon Age games" and "i miss the amount of tension and conflict that we used to get to explore with the player character depending on their in-game background and life history" and "i did not feel Lucanis' character and romance arc was fully satisfying while I was playing through it".

and since this all started we now have:

seen the entire DA staff laid off from Bioware

heard many now-former bioware devs talking about how toxic the workplace was during the development of DA4

seen allusions to Bioware/EA executives overriding plot/plans that the Dragon Age writers/devs would have preferred

extracted large amounts of cut content from the games that show things like increased emotional response range for Rook, or alternate endings for companion arcs (NOT concept art content, but actual written and even voice-recorded dialogue in the game files), or increased impact from decisions you could make in the game

IN ADDITION to what we ALREADY knew about how many times the game changed direction/leadership changed/the mid-process layoffs, etc.

so can we maybe not keep putting "people who come into the Dragon Age universe from a place of love and were ultimately disappointed with the latest installment" in the same trash bucket as "dudes on twitter who were mad there were trans/nonbinary characters in their AAA game". can we FUCKING as a community acknowledge that there are many reasons someone might not jive with a change in direction other than jumping to "they disagree with me so they must obviously be horrible people, whose opinions shouldn't be counted anyway" (<-if this is your first impulse maybe examine that also).

i am so tired and i am never gonna get an apology for any of it but NOW that a lot of the people who were posting/reblogging these sentiments are hearing/seeing all these other things add up. it's like suddenly now it's "acceptable" to have problems with aspect of Veilguard or want more from it, because the writers/devs have shown they probably did too during it's creation. whereas when I said these things right off the bat (because the only thing we had was the game we got. not the game we can pretend they wanted to make instead) it WASN'T because apparently expressing opinions on my personal tumblr counts as "being mean to/harassing devs who worked hard on the game" or, again, assumed I am a racist/bigot/facist/queerphobic.

you're allowed to still like Veilguard. it's fine i promise. you can love the game if you love it and my not loving it has nothing to do with your own relationship to this piece of media. i am happy there are people who truly can enjoy it without massive Caveats. but i am still seeing like 3-5 posts Per Week express those opinions and it is really destroying my love for the community i once enjoyed.

[camomileapplesyrup]

today i got into a heated argument with two TRAs over the twoXchromosomes subreddit. i made a post about the woman-centric subreddit now being overrun with men & MRAs who harass women that share their traumatic experiences with men. from SA, to spousal abuse, women found a space where they felt safe discussing their experiences in life.

posts expressing feminist thought, traumatic experiences & general fear of men were met with downvote bombings & harassment.

men pretend to be underage girls pretending not to understand masturbation and acting they don't know how to wash "down there", asking for advice for sexual gratification of course.

men CONSTANTLY adding their two cents to posts that absolutely do not need it.

the subreddit is now uncomfortable & stifling, mods do absolutely nothing about it. so i made a lengthy post and so many women responded. over 500 comments of women responding positively, and thanking me for calling out an ongoing issue.

well, apparently i am transphobic and i am acting "sussy" with saying; “every time i come here and a woman makes a post with the most MINUSCULE feminist intent, or sharing her trauma, or difficulties in her personal experiences, it doesn't just get downvoted to oblivion, but filled up with comments of dudes adding their two cents, tone policing, making sexual & or fetish comments or "not all men"ing her. this is a woman centric community. two X chromosomes. we aren't going to make our tones softer, be gentler and tip-toe around our individual experiences to make YOU, a dude, comfortable.”

all it took was this for two TRAs to gang up on me & call me transphobic. saying this is why they don't trust cis feminists, and patronising me with expressions like "you must be so brave for calling yourself a radfem". they claimed that i cannot call myself a radical feminist because it's just bigoted towards trans women, despite me living in a 3rd world country where we don't even have working woman's shelters and proper laws against spousal abuse. "im sorry your life is hard as a woman living in a misogynistic country, but that is here nor there with regard to the terminology we're discussing" i'm sorry, what?

most of us aren't privileged enough to be libfems. i wish pink fucking girlboss they/she queen xenogender discourse was what my country could be doing, but life is not fair for everyone. if a woman here gets abused, stalked, or raped, she has nowhere to go. no phone number to call. no police to call. no prosecutor to trust in. and i went through this, personally.

by the end i had to block them, because they were derailing the conversation. but fuck, even when i literally do my best and try to be inclusive to everyone, i get spat in the fucking face.

[hypokeimena]

the thing about therapy is that when it is presented as a cure-all auto-response to any situation you end up with a number of possible bad outcomes. all of these are just things that have happened to Me, Personally, off the top of my head, and i have not included any of the outright illegal medical malpractice i have experienced in this post either. this is just normal run-of-the-mill bad therapy outcomes.

you go before you're actually willing to do any work on yourself, and end up just wasting your time and money on sessions that do absolutely nothing for you, and as a result decide that there's something fundamentally wrong with you

you go before you're actually willing to do any work on yourself, and end up just wasting your time and money on sessions that do absolutely nothing for you, and as a result decide that therapy is completely useless and so you delay returning to it when you're more stable and it might actually be more helpful to you

you go before you're actually willing to do any work on yourself, and end up just finding psych-approved phrases to justify and validate your ongoing and untreated harmful behavior

you are willing to do the work, but you are unable to discuss your struggles in detail because doing so would end up with a diagnosis in your chart that would make it impossible to manage other parts of your life

you are willing to do the work, but end up with a therapist who threatens to punitively diagnose you with a stigmatized disorder if you are uncomfortable with the treatment plan they suggested.

you end up with a kind of shit therapist who has a financial interest in keeping you in therapy and who is therefore unwilling to actually help you attain any real significant improvement that'd get you to stop seeing them

you end up with a therapist who is bigoted against people like you, and as a result they refuse to facilitate referrals or attempt to block other parts of your medical care / transition / etc.

you end up on medications that don't do anything for you because your therapist wants you to be medicated

you're on meds that give you horrible side effects and you have to grovel not to be marked as noncompliant in your records when you ask to go back off them.

you are willing to do work on yourself, but you end up with a therapist who pushes you to agree with their version of events, and it ends up destabilizing your understanding of your own experiences (this has happened to me both with therapists who pushed me to consider a non-traumatizing experience traumatizing and who pushed me to reframe a traumatizing event as non-abusive).

you are willing to do the work, but you are unable to discuss your struggles in detail because your therapist is a mandatory reporter and you do not want police involved in your situation

literally just off the top of my head. there's way worse stuff that can happen to you. if you die in therapy you die in real life!!!!