#do i think it's abusive

[dizzying-faust]

I'm still not a fan of Feligami, but calling it abusive is a bit of a stretch.

[tanjir0se]

Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[quiddie]

Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.

So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.

[bluegiragi]

human.

early access + nsfw on patreon

more backstory that i wrote up for patreon heh:

Simon and Tommy had a complicated relationship as brothers. 

At a young age, Simon basically wrote himself off as a lost cause, and did the best he could to make sure at least Tommy had a chance to be a functioning human being. After all, Tommy was the gentler brother, the dreamer, the one who looked like their mother (who'd walked out on them years ago to escape their father). But Tommy got bitter, got sick of the one always being protected, being babied. He lost respect for Simon, for the way he wouldn't fight back, and in a twisted way, grew closer to his father as a way to learn how to be powerful, strong. It backfired, and Tommy got wrapped up in some bad business.

Simon's kid brother died while he was deployed. He got the news in the letter, and it broke him in a big way. In the story timeline, it was years and years ago but it still hurts like hell whenever Simon thinks about him. 

[nakakabaliw]

(⚠️Talk of SA/Abuse Victims/Anya Mouthwashing)

⚠️If you need any "credibility" i am also a victim of abuse.

My Thoughts on #GIRLBOSS Anya

TW: S/A , Abuse

Some people need to realize that not all victims of abuse are empowered #girlbosses and are in fact scared to face their abuser bc of power dynamics and such .

Sometimes people just arent able to stand up to them, and thats okay. Its easy for some to say "oh they should fight back" but its really not :( often times their abusers are people in power, or close to them that they wouldnt want to antagonize in fear of disappointing them or for them to do the worst.

Sometimes victims may not even realize they were being abused/manipulated, and sometimes they downplay their own suffering bc its easier than fighting back.

That isnt to say that "victims should just comply to their abuser", its definitely not, and if you are suffering from abuse please seek as mucb help as you can. Im referring to people who always assume that if victims just "tried hard enough" they could defeat their abuser.

This is why often times I feel a little off put by depictions of Anya being this girlboss character who couldve defeated Jimo Because it sorta downplays her fear of him. Yes, we wouldve loved to see her succeed and win, but she was honestly scared. She was doing her best to please him by cheering him on and folding in when he berates her.

Personally I also want her to take that gun/axe and hit him where it hurts, but as a victim of a similar (not SA) type of abuse where people who controlled/manipulated were far above me, I symphatize with her.

Her death and her folding up, her taking drastic and risky measures such as hiding the gun case when she told Jimo about her pregnancy. Her struggling to open up about it bc shes been dismissed already by Curly, who couldnt believe that someone hes close to would do such an act and is trying way too much to balance both sides.

This is all just my opinion. Theres really nothing wrong with making a victim stand up for themselves, in fact yes, it should be celebrated. But also dont dismiss when a victim doesnt do that due to fear/trauma.

TL;DR: sometimes victims can dismiss their own abuse for the sake of safety.

Pls keep in note that im speaking from complete experience and am no way a psych major or anything. This is just my voice and opinion and if you beg to differ, im open to discussion ^^ please be respectful!

[fandomsandfeminism]

"There should be security cameras inside of classrooms." Eh, sure. We have them in the hallways and cafeteria. Maybe not my first choice for how to spend tax dollars, but whatever. Then if an issue arises, the footage could be pulled on request and reviewed.

"There should be security cameras with a live stream inside classrooms that parents can view whenever they want to keep their kids safe." Are you insane. Are you absolutely out of your mind. Even assuming that this theoretical live stream would be limited to just the parents of children who have a class in that specific room (not the whole school)....you want dozens of strangers (in elementary) or hundreds of strangers (secondary) to be able to have a live stream of *your child* at school? You can't see a single possible safety or privacy issue that could arise from that situation?

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[paingoes]

actually obsessed with restoring dignity in recovery

[chihirolovebot]

on a real note that bit near the end of the video was genuinely haunting. hearing somerton talk about how gay writers are erased from history was one thing (with all the irony being that he stepped on the backs of numerous underpaid, underprivileged and uncredited queer writers to build his youtube channel) but when h revealed it wasn't even somerton's quote in the first place? the worst, most crushing sort of irony. how do you lament about the erasure of gay people and gay writers in history... whilst erasing a gay writer and taking his words as your own?

[avicecaro]

“The abusive man learns early in life, from his surrounding society and beyond, that when he becomes an adult he has the right to swallow a female whole, and that in this way he will fill the vast emptiness inside of him and feel empty no more. He learns that the female of his choosing owes him her life entire in this fashion, that it would be wrong of her to fail to sacrifice her life and herself in this way. Not only that, but he learns that this self-erasure will be her greatest joy.

He gets these messages all over the place, from his own unhealthy relatives all the way up to police responses, courts, and Disney movies.

All of what he learns is a lie. It is a moral lie, meaning it’s a lie about what’s right and what’s wrong; no woman’s life should ever by martyred to fill a man’s (or anyone’s) emptiness. But not only should this not be done, it also cannot be done. Thus it is not only a moral lie but also a lie about the nature of reality. A human being cannot be vacuumed into the inside of another person and become part of that person, in some kind of twisted reversal of the birth process. It’s absurd that it’s even necessary for me to state this.

The abusive man hates the woman for continuing to exist outside of him. No matter how hard she may try, in her terror and in her trauma, to disappear inside of him, she simply cannot do it. (And if she gets some support in her life, she may even attempt to refuse to continue trying.) He hates her for this, for still being there, because he was taught that to disappear inside of him is her unlimited obligation and will make him whole.

When you find yourself wondering why the abuser hates you – as most abused women do at one point or another – this is why: because you continue to breathe, because you have skin, because you eat food and then move with the energy of that food, because by getting out of bed and standing up in the morning you have once again demonstrated your failure to become him.”

Ever Wonder Why Your Abusive Partner Hates You? blog post from Lundy Bancroft, on his website lundybancroft.com

[cubbihue]

Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)

The "Last Straw"?

Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.

But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.

The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[bunnieswithknives]

Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.

[teaboot]

I have decided that from now on when people jokingly speculate about highly personal experiences I'm just gonna answer honestly until it stops

Like yeah Shannon my parents did hit me growing up, would you like to sit down and talk about how that was a formative experience or did you want to tell me something with your big girl words

[willow-lark]

if you think annabeth chase is abusive to percy just say you didn’t actually read the books and go ☺️