#do i need it? probably no. do i have space for it? barely. will i get it? yes probably yes
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second servings
pairing: mingyu x afab!reader genre: smut, fluff, a dash of humor bc im fun like that | wc: 3.7k Warnings: unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT), drinking rating: r a/n: happy thanksgiving! or as ivy (my beloved @c-oupsie ) aptly put it, dicksgiving // huge thank you to @lovetaroandtaemin for the beta!!! //MINORS DNI
Itâs safe to say that this Thanksgiving has been a rousing success.
Your mother had nothing but praise for the way you pulled off her famous sweet potato casserole (even though she was hovering behind you the entire time, making "suggestions"), and your father was borderline drunk on Mingyuâs whiskey-infused turkey. Sure, heâd proudly claimed it was an old family recipe, but youâd seen him frantically Googling âbest Thanksgiving turkey recipesâ at 2 a.m. the night before. No harm, no foulâespecially since your parents didnât need to know about his panic or how the entire kitchen had nearly gone up in flames during the basting process.
For his part, Mingyu had charmed everyone effortlessly. Between pulling your chair out at dinner, teasing your father about how he could totally outdrink him (a dangerous game, considering how much whiskey had been consumed), and sheepishly admitting heâd practiced making pie crust for weeks, it was clear your parents were absolutely smitten with your boyfriend. By the time your mom hugged you both goodbye at the door, whispering that youâd âpicked a good one,â you thought your heart might burst with pride.
But now, the house is quiet. The only sounds are the low hum of the dishwasher and the occasional creak of the floorboards as you wander through the dining room, stacking dishes and tidying up. The scent of roasted herbs and pumpkin pie still lingers in the air, but youâre already beginning to unwind.
Mingyu is... well, not unwinding. Not in the slightest. You can hear him singingâno, yellingâoff-key in the kitchen as he polishes off the last of the whiskey your dad left behind. When you poke your head in to scold him for leaving you to do all the cleaning, you find him leaning against the counter, a lazy, lopsided grin lighting up his face. His tie is loose, and the top buttons of his shirt have been undone, showing off that smooth stretch of skin you always find it impossible to resist.
âYouâre wasted,â you accuse, trying not to smile at how disheveled he looks.
âWasted?â he echoes, incredulous, though the way he wobbles slightly when he stands says otherwise. âNah, baby, Iâm just... grateful. Itâs Thanksgiving! And Iâm thankful for you.â He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close, his nose nuzzling your temple. His voice drops, low and teasing. âAnd the way you look in this dress... God, how did I keep my hands to myself all night?â
You roll your eyes, even as your heart stutters in your chest. âBecause my parents were right there, and you were busy trying to impress them?â
Mingyu hums, the sound reverberating against your skin. âImpressed them so much they probably think Iâm an angel, huh?â His fingers press lightly against the small of your back, pulling you closer until you can feel the warmth of his breath against your ear. âGuess I shouldnât ruin that image.â
When you laugh, the sound barely leaves your lips before he has you pinned against the nearest wall. Your shriek of surprise is muffled by Mingyuâs mouth on yours, warm and insistent, tasting faintly of whiskey and the pumpkin pie heâd wolfed down before your parents left. His hands bracket your waist, firm and steady, but thereâs nothing restrained about the way he presses into you.
âShhh,â he murmurs against your lips when you try to protest, his voice dark and teasing. âCanât let them know their soon-to-be son-in-law isnât the perfect golden boy they think he is.â
Your laugh bubbles up despite yourself, but you manage to shove at his chest just enough to put some space between you. âMingyu, stop! There are dishes everywhereââ
âDonât care,â he growls, already pulling you back toward him.
âMingyu!â
He only grins as you slip out of his grasp, retreating into the dining room, muttering about someone needing to be responsible. But heâs not far behind. You feel his presence before you even hear himâthe deliberate slowness of his footsteps, the quiet huff of his breath as he watches you stack plates.
You turn to scold him, but the words catch in your throat the moment you see his expression. His pupils are blown wide, gaze dark and intent, like heâs just barely holding himself back.
âDonât look at me like that,â you say, a little breathless.
He takes a step closer.
âLike what?â
âLikeâlike youâre going toââ
Mingyu doesnât let you finish. In one swift motion, heâs at your side, spinning you around and lifting you effortlessly onto the dining table. Plates clatter around you, some teetering dangerously close to the edge as you gasp in shock.
âWait,â he says suddenly, holding up a hand. His gaze flicks to the plates beneath you, then back to your face. âAre these gonna break if Iââ
You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep your composure. âIf you what?â
He flashes you a devilish grin, and before you can stop him, he swipes an arm across the table, sending the rest of the dishes clattering to the floor.
âMingyu!â you gasp, clutching his shirt as you gape at the mess.
âItâs fine,â he says, far too casually for someone whoâs just created a potential disaster. His voice is rough, his breath coming quick as he leans in close, pressing you back against the table. âTheyâre not ceramic. They wonât break.â
Your protest dies on your lips as his mouth finds yours again, hands already working to undo the buttons of your dress. The table creaks beneath you as he presses his weight into you, his kisses growing more heated, more desperate with every passing second.
âYouâre insane,â you murmur against his lips, though your fingers are already threading through his hair, tugging lightly just the way you know he likes.
âMaybe,â he admits, his grin unmistakable even as his lips move to your jaw, trailing kisses down the column of your neck. âBut youâre stuck with me now.â
âNot if I kill you for breaking half our dishes,â you tease, though the sharp intake of breath you canât quite suppress gives you away.
âThen youâll have to explain to your parents why their perfect golden boy is gone,â he counters, his voice a low rumble against your skin.
"And we can't have that, can we?" you murmur, tilting your head to give him better access.
Mingyu chuckles, the sound vibrating against your throat. "Definitely not. I've worked too hard to impress them."
His hands slide down your sides, bunching up the fabric of your dress as they go. You shiver at the feeling of his fingers against your bare thighs, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Mingyu's touch is warm, his fingers leaving trails of heat in their wake.
"Speaking of impressing," you say, trying to keep your voice steady as his touch wanders higher, "I can't believe you actually learned to make pie crust."
He pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Oh, that? I lied. I bought it pre-made."
You gasp in mock outrage. "You fraud!"
"Hey, your mom loves me,â Mingyu bites the junction where your shoulder meets your neck, just enough to hurt, and you whine. âYou canât call me a fraud when her love is real, baby.â His tongue carves a path back up to your mouth.
"Oh, shut up," you laugh, tugging him closer by his loosened tie.
Mingyu chuckles, the sound vibrating against your neck as he continues his trail of kisses.
"You know," he murmurs, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze, "I wasn't lying earlier. About being grateful for you."
The sincerity in his eyes catches you off guard, making your breath hitch. Even with his hair mussed and his shirt half-unbuttoned, there's an earnestness to him that makes your heart swell. But then he kneels in front of you, and your heart starts to stutter.
âAnd what better way to show you howâŠgrateful I am,â he starts, fingers brushing against the wet spot on your panties, so soft it makes you gasp. âThan to kneel in front of you?â
His words make your back arch, shivers running down your spine. He hums softly, fingers brushing the edge of your panties.Â
âMy babyâs so pretty,â he breathes, pressing open-mouthed kisses against thighs as you shiver.Â
"Mingyu," you gasp, your fingers tightening in his hair as he slowly drags your panties down your legs. The cool air hits your heated skin, making you shiver.
He looks up at you through his lashes, a wicked grin playing at his lips. "Yes, baby?"
You open your mouth to respond, but all that comes out is a breathy moan as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, dangerously close to where you need him most. Your hips buck involuntarily, seeking more contact.
Mingyu chuckles, the sound low and rough. "So eager," he murmurs against your skin. "But I want to savor this. Show you just how thankful I am."
His tongue traces lazy patterns on your thigh, inching closer and closer to your center with each pass. You squirm on the table, plates clattering softly around you as you try to press closer to his mouth. But Mingyu's hands on your hips hold you firmly in place.
"Patience," he whispers, his breath hot against your sensitive skin.
You whimper, fingers tightening in his hair. "Mingyu, please..."
He looks up at you, eyes dark with desire. "Please what?"
"Touch me," you breathe. "I need you toâ"
Your words dissolve into a gasp as Mingyu finally, finally presses his mouth against you. His tongue moves in slow, deliberate strokes, teasing and exploring. You throw your head back, a low moan escaping your lips as pleasure courses through you.
Mingyu hums against you, the vibration sending shockwaves of sensation up your spine. His hands slide from your hips to your thighs, gently urging them further apart. You comply eagerly, desperate for more of his touch. Mingyu takes advantage of the new angle, his tongue delving deeper, circling your clit with practiced precision.
"God, you taste amazing," he murmurs against you, the words sending vibrations through your core. âBetter than my pie, baby.â
You can't help the breathy moan that escapes you, your hips rolling against his face as you chase the building pleasure. Mingyu matches your rhythm, alternating between broad strokes of his tongue and focused attention on your sensitive clit.
"Mingyu," you gasp, tugging at his hair. "I'm close, I'mâ"
Your words trail off into a strangled moan as Mingyu redoubles his efforts, his tongue working faster, more insistently against you. One of his hands leaves your thigh, and you feel his fingers teasing at your sopping entrance before slowly sliding inside. The dual sensation of his tongue on your clit and his fingers curling inside you makes you arch against the table, fingers finding purchase on the tablecloth and holding on for dear life.
"That's it, baby," Mingyu murmurs against you, his voice rough with desire. "Let go for me. Show me how good I make you feel."
His words, combined with the relentless attention of his mouth and fingers, push you over the edge. Your back arches off the table as waves of pleasure crash over you, Mingyu's name falling from your lips in a breathless cry. He works you through your orgasm, his movements slowing gradually as your body relaxes.
When the last tremors of pleasure subside, Mingyu presses a final, gentle kiss to your inner thigh before standing up. His hair is a mess from your fingers, his lips swollen and glistening. The sight of him looking so thoroughly debauched makes your heart race all over again.
"Come here," you murmur, reaching for him.
"You're beautiful," he murmurs, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and it sends a renewed spark of arousal through you. His hand finds yours, interlacing your fingers on the thoroughly christened tablecloth. You bring your joined hands to your mouth and suck on his fingers as Mingyu looks on in dazed fascination.
Mingyu groans, his eyes darkening with renewed desire. "God, you're gonna be the death of me," he murmurs, voice rough with want.
You release his fingers with a soft pop, a mischievous smile playing at your lips. "I thought you were showing me how thankful you were," you tease, running your free hand down his chest. "Seems like you might have more gratitude to express, love."
His answering grin is downright predatory. "Oh, I'm just getting started, baby," he growls, leaning in to nip at your earlobe. "I've got all night to show you exactly how thankful I am." Without warning, his fingers find your sopping cunt again, and you squeal.
Two, then three, fingers bully their way into your weeping pussy, and you groan, wanton, as Mingyuâs free hand yanks the sleeves of your dress off your shoulder.
âDonât-â your words are cut off with a keen when Mingyuâs fingers go even deeper, back arching off the table. âDonât rip my dress Mingyu-ah! There! Right there- donât stop, please please-â
Mingyu chuckles darkly, his breath hot against your neck as he continues to work his fingers inside you. "Wouldn't dream of ripping this dress, baby. I love how you look in it too much." His teeth graze your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine. You're caught between the pleasure of his fingers and the slight pain of his teeth, overwhelmed by sensation.
"Fuck, baby," he groans against your skin. "You're so wet for me. So tight."
You can only whimper in response, your hips rocking against his hand as you chase another peak. The table creaks beneath you, the remaining dishes clattering with each thrust of Mingyu's fingers.
"That's it," he encourages, his voice low and husky. "Take what you need. Take it all, baby."
His thumb finds your clit, circling it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. You cry out, hips bucking off the table. Mingyu's free hand slides up to cup your breast through the fabric of your dress, his thumb brushing over your nipple.
"Oh god," you moan, your head falling back against the table, hands gripping his bicep. Youâre not sure if youâre trying to push him away or pull him closer. "Mingyu, I'm gonnaâ"
"Come for me," he growls, curling his fingers inside you. "Let me feel you, baby."
Your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, your body arching off the table as you cry out Mingyu's name. He works you through it, his fingers slowing but not stopping as aftershocks ripple through you.
When you finally come down, panting and boneless, Mingyu withdraws his hand and brings his glistening fingers to his mouth. He sucks them clean, his eyes locked on yours; you moan, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Your fingers grapple helplessly with the buttons. He lets you struggle for a little, forehead pressed against yours as his deft fingers work to push your dress off of you, leaving you bare before him on the dining room table. The cool air pebbles your skin, but Mingyu's heated gaze makes you feel like you're on fire.
"Youâre delicious," he murmurs, a wicked grin playing at his lips. "But I'm not done with you yet."
He decides to put you out of your misery, pushing away to roughly yank his shirt off and throw it across the room. His hands yank at his belt, and his pants and boxers follow soon after, joining his shirt god knows where. Your eyes rake over Mingyu's exposed body, drinking in the sight of his toned chest and abs. Your gaze travels lower, lingering on his erect cock, already glistening with precum. The sight makes your mouth water, and you unconsciously lick your lips.
Mingyu catches the gesture and smirks. "See something you like, baby?"
You nod, unable to form words as he steps closer, his hands running up your thighs. He positions himself between your legs, the tip of his cock brushing against your sensitive folds. You whimper at the contact, your hips jerking involuntarily.
"Tell me what you want," Mingyu murmurs, his voice low and husky. He rocks his hips slightly, teasing you with just the barest hint of pressure.
"You," you breathe, reaching for him. "I want you, Mingyu. Donât make me beg.â
"Never, baby," he growls, voice rough with desire. "I want you too much."
You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Then take me," you breathe, nails raking down his back.
Mingyu doesn't need to be told twice. With one smooth thrust, he buries himself inside you, both of you groaning at the sensation. He stills for a moment, forehead pressed against yours as you adjust to his size.
"Fuck, baby," he pants, his arms trembling slightly as he holds himself above you. "You feel so good."
You roll your hips experimentally, drawing a strangled moan from Mingyu. "Move," you urge. Mingyu obeys, pulling out almost entirely before slamming back in. The force of his thrust sends a few more plates clattering to the floor, but neither of you pay them any mind. Your focus narrows to the feeling of Mingyu moving inside you, the delicious friction as he sets a punishing pace.
"God, yes," you moan, your nails digging into his shoulders. "Just like that, Mingyu."
He grunts in response, his hips snapping against yours with increasing urgency. One hand grips your hip, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, while the other braces against the table. The wood creaks beneath you with each thrust, but you can barely hear it over the sound of skin slapping against skin and your mingled moans. He whines, burying his face in your neck as he drives into you relentlessly.
"You're so fucking tight," Mingyu groans, his voice strained. "So perfect for me, baby. Only for me."
His words send a fresh wave of heat through you, your walls clenching around him. Mingyu groans, his hips stuttering for a moment before he redoubles his efforts. He shifts slightly, changing the angle of his thrusts, and suddenly he's hitting that spot inside you that makes you see stars. He lifts his head to capture your lips in a searing kiss, swallowing your moans as he drives into you.
"Oh god," you cry out, your back arching off the table. "Right there, Mingyu. Don't stop!"
"Fuck," he grunts, his movements becoming more erratic. "I'm close, baby. So close."
You can feel your own orgasm building, a coiling tension in your lower belly. "Me too," you pant, your fingers tangling in his hair. "Mingyu, please."
Mingyu knows you like the back of his hand, knows exactly what you need to send you over the edge - his hand leaves your hip, sliding between your bodies to rub rough circles against your clit with his thumb. Mingyu shifts slightly, hitting that spot that convinces you that youâre in heaven - your mouth drops open in a low whine, and he savors every reaction you give him.
Your entire body tenses as the pleasure makes spots dance in your vision. Mingyu's movements grow more frantic, his breathing ragged against your neck.
"Come for me," he growls, his thumb pressing harder against your clit. "Let go, baby. I've got you."
His words are the final push you need. Your orgasm crashes over you in waves, your back arching off the table as you cry out Mingyu's name. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper.
The sensation of you pulsing around him pushes Mingyu over the edge. He buries himself deep inside you with a final thrust, groaning your name as he comes.
For a long moment, you both stay like that, panting and trembling in the aftermath. The table creaks again, as Mingyu presses loving kisses against your lips, hands rubbing gentle circles on your sides.
âI love you,â he whispers, equal parts adoring and reverent. âIâm so grateful to have you in my life.â
He sounds so genuine, so lovelorn, that it almost brings tears to your eyes. âI love you too,â you breathe, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him close. âIâll never stop thanking fate for bringing you to me.â
âIt wasnât fate,â he grumbles half-heartedly. âIt was your shitty cocktails that almost gave me alcohol poisoning at Jeonghanâs graduation party.â
You sigh, pulling back enough to stick your tongue out at him. âAnd just when I was starting to wax poetic about you, Kim Mingyu.â
âOh, by all means, continue-â
The table decides then that it has had enough of the both of you, and the leg gives out with a deafening splinter. The sudden tilt of the table sends you both sliding towards the floor in an undignified heap. Mingyu manages to catch you, cushioning your fall with his body as you land on top of him with a soft "oof." For a moment, you both lie there in stunned silence, the broken table leg jutting out at an awkward angle beside you.
Then, almost simultaneously, you burst into laughter.
Mingyu joins in, his body shaking with mirth against yours. "Oh my god," he wheezes, lifting himself up on his elbows to look at you. "Are you okay?"
You nod, still giggling. "I'm fine. You?"
"Never better," he grins, pressing a quick kiss to your nose. "Although I think we might need a new dining table."
You groan, finally taking in the full extent of the damage. Plates litter the floor, and your poor tablecloth lies in a heap near Mingyuâs feet.
"Oh no," you moan, burying your face in Mingyu's chest. "My parents gave us that table as a housewarming gift."
Mingyu winces, his hand coming up to stroke your hair soothingly. "We'll figure something out. Maybe we can fix it?"
You lift your head to give him a skeptical look. "Fix it? Mingyu, the leg is completely broken off."
He shrugs, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Hey, I managed to convince your parents I'm a master pie baker. I'm sure I can convince them I'm an expert carpenter too."
You can't help but laugh, swatting his chest playfully. "You're ridiculous."
"But you love me," he grins, pulling you down for a kiss.
"God help me, I do," you murmur against his lips.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#kvanity#thediamondlifenetwork#mansaenetwork#seventeen fluff#svt x reader#svt smut#svt fluff#seventeen mingyu x reader#seventeen mingyu fluff#seventeen mingyu smut#svt mingyu x reader#svt mingyu smut#svt mingyu fluff#seventeen scenarios#seventeen mingyu scenarios#mingyu x reader#mingyu smut#mingyu fluff#mingyu imagines#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt scenarios#mingyu scenarios#tara writes#svt: kmg
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â¶â GOOD GRIEF â FIYERO TIGELAAR
synopsis: fiyero seeks refuge from a rather dull event at Shiz, but you donât find him charming, do you?
pairings: movie!fiyero tigelaar x gn!reader
warnings: nothing but fluff. relationship is⊠undefined? yeah, weâll go with that. this is entirely going off the movie by the way. this was made on a whim and I had no idea where this was actually going, so be nice.
The room was alive with the sound of muffled chatter, the scrape of chairs on wood, and the faint clatter of cutlery. You stood at the far end of the hall, leaning against a tall window frame, fiddling idly with the stem of your glass. The evening sun painted the room in warm hues, but your peace was interrupted when you felt an unmistakable presence too close to your side.
âAh, there you are,â Fiyero announced as if heâd been searching for hours, though he couldnât have missed you. The room wasnât that big. âI need your help. Immediate help. Dire circumstances.â
You arched an eyebrow. âDire? What did you do this time?â
He stepped closer, his hands fluttering mid-air. âAbsolutely nothing. Yet. Which is precisely the problem. I have no idea what theyâre talking about at my table, but they keep looking at me as if Iâm meant to contribute something⊠intellectual.â
You bit back a laugh, tucking it behind a smirk. âAnd you came to me becauseâŠ?â
He tilted his head, feigning an innocent expression. âBecause youâre clever. And youâve got that look about you. People believe you when you talk.â His hand waved vaguely in the direction of your face, and his lips curled into a teasing grin. âYou know, all⊠knowing and intimidating.â
You gave a dry laugh, shaking your head. âSo, what? You want me to save you from the unbearable burden of conversation?â
âExactly.â He stepped even closer, now entirely invading your space. He smelled faintly of warm spices and fresh air, like heâd been wandering outside before arriving. âJust say something about, I donât know, books? Politics? Trees? Iâll nod along like Iâve had an epiphany, and theyâll think Iâve got layers.â
Your lips twitched. âYou? Layers?â
âRude.â He placed a hand dramatically over his heart, though his grin only widened. âI do have layers. You just need to dig. Maybe with a small shovel.â
You rolled your eyes, setting your glass down on the nearby table. âIf I help you, will you stop hovering?â
âAm I hovering?â he asked, his voice drenched in mock confusion.
âYes. Always.â You nudged him lightly in the chest with your hand, but he didnât move back. Instead, he caught your wrist in his hand, a glint of mischief flickering in his eyes.
âSee, thatâs the problem with you,â he said, his thumb brushing against the inside of your wrist as if entirely unaware of the intimacy of the gesture. âYou act all exasperated, but deep down, you like having me around. Admit it.â
âI will never admit that,â you shot back, yanking your wrist free, though your voice lacked conviction.
He laughed. a soft, rich sound that somehow made the world feel a little lighter. âThatâs alright. Iâll stick around until you do.â
You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. âFiyero, go back to your table before someone notices youâve disappeared.â
âThey probably think Iâve wandered off to study bark or something,â he said, shrugging. Then, leaning in, close enough that you could see the specks of gold in his eyes, he added, âWhich, honestly, sounds far more interesting than this dinner.â His eyes flickered to your lips, then back to your eyes, a slight smile tugging at his mouth.
He was very close now, so close that you could feel the heat of him, his breath just barely brushing your skin. You werenât sure if you wanted to look away or stay right where you are. And for a moment, you almost asked him what he meant. But before you could, he leaned back and straightened. Now fully smiling like knew exactly what he was doing and grabbed the glass youâd abandoned moments ago.
"Anyway," he said casually, âIâm stealing this,â raising it as if to toast you. âBecause youâve left me no choice.â
You blinked, lips parted slightly in disbelief and amusement, your hands unconsciously lifting as if to gesture at the entire situation.
âUnbelievable,â you muttered, watching as he sauntered back to his table, moving through chairs with a lack of spatial awareness that made several people flinch and move their drinks out of harmâs way.
Just before he sat down, he turned and shot you a lopsided grin, raising your glass in a silent, triumphant toast.
And against your better judgment, you found yourself smiling back.
notes: iâll try and go through my requests inbox as soon as I can!! thank u to those who left a few :)
#totally didnât forget to post this hahahahhh#reconnecting with nature during these times#jonathan bailey#fiyero tigelaar x reader#fluff
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09 â miss your touch â ,, index
nsfw warnings: kissing.
note: she's not pregnant you guys dw đ
wc: 3.4k
a week.
it's been a week since you've seen jungkook.
there were a few texts from him, asking if you were okay, but nothing beyond that. you answered with short replies; a yes or a no. sometimes, you asked how he was, and he'd say he's okay. but thereâs a clear shift now, an invisible line drawn between you two.
a line youâd already crossed once but now seem to be retreating behind. back to where you started; strangers who just happened to share something.
you mightâve overreacted.
the thought stings, but yeah, maybe you did. he wasnât even that late. you believe him when he said he had to deal with something. that something being a female, itâs not like he hid it. still, for reasons you canât explain, just thinking about it makes you roll your eyes.
but he came straight to you after that.
and you know jungkook doesnât lie. at least, thatâs what youâve learned about him in these two months.
two months.
itâs been two months, and yet here you are, acting as if heâs yours.
he isnât.
and thatâs good. you donât want a relationship. you never did. relationships are nothing but unnecessary stress or drama. or at least, thatâs what you keep telling yourself.
you canât let jungkook fall into the ârelationshipâ category. but calling him your casual fuck buddy feels off, because youâre both closer than that now. thinking of him as just a friend, though... that feels wrong. unnatural, even.
itâs so complicated.
it shouldnât be. but it is.
sometimes, it feels like he doesnât care. you wish heâd show more emotions, something more than his usual calm, nonchalant demeanor.
it feels like youâre the only one overthinking this while heâs just... fine. unaffected.
why do i feel like a wreck? is it just me? you wonder.
you don't wanna miss his touch.
you don't wanna miss him.
but you miss him more than you want to admit.
and now, you donât even know how to approach him. things feel so awkward. youâre not sure how to cross that line youâve suddenly drawn.
a week without seeing him feels like forever. especially when, for the past two months, heâs been part of your every day. whether it was texts or calls, he was there.
which is why youâre here. at the business expo everyoneâs been working so hard for.
you donât know much about it, just the bare minimum yoongi mentioned. apparently, other majors can attend as long as they say theyâre interested in learning something.
as if. you would never attend something like this.
but for him? for jungkook?
youâre here anyway.
jungkook feels like a wreck.
he misses you.
a lot.
but at the same time, he thinks he needed that break. from everything. a week isnât much, but it gave him enough space to clear his head.
iseul tried to contact him again. he blocked her number.
then she tried to approach him in person. he blocked her out of his life too.
he knows sheâs probably furious, and maybe even hurt, but he couldnât let her keep dragging him into the same cycle. not anymore.
âjungkook, iâm sorry, honey, i didnât mean to snap at you that dayââ she said, her voice was soft, almost pleading.
but he cut her off, firm and final, his words heavy but deliberate.
âi think itâs for the best if we move on now.â
he couldnât believe those words came out of his mouth, but for once, he didnât regret them. saying it felt like a weight had been lifted, one heâd been carrying far too long.
it wasnât easy, but it was necessary.
now, though?
all he can think about is you.
you told him you were fine now. the conversations between you two since then have been brief, surface level, and awkward. it feels like a wall has been built, and though neither of you acknowledges it, itâs there.
jungkook wishes youâd talk to him soon, break through whatever tension is lingering.
when you told him to leave that day, he froze for a moment. it stung, but he understood. if you needed space, heâd give it to you. the last thing he wanted was to make things harder for you when you were already unwell.
but he feels awful.
all he did was add to your stress, and now the guilt is eating at him. heâs ready to do anythingâabsolutely anythingâto make things right with you, to hear you say you forgive him.
yet, it feels strange.
why does he feel this way about you?
whatever this is between you, it was supposed to be no strings attached. that was the deal. you both made it clear from the beginning. but somewhere along the line, things shifted. youâre not just a hookup to him anymore. youâre so much more than that, though heâs not sure how to define it.
he wonders if he should set boundaries, remind himself of what this arrangement is supposed to be. but itâs hardâimpossible, even. every time youâre together, heâs drawn to you. itâs like youâve got this pull on him, and he doesnât even want to resist it.
he doesnât wanna miss your touch.
and right now?
right now, he just misses you. everything about you.
âjungkook, is that you?â a voice cuts through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. jungkook turns, searching for the source of the familiar voice.
âah, it is you!â
his lips twitch into a smile when he spots the person approaching him.
âjin hyung,â he says, a little surprised to see him.
jin strides up to him, pulling him into a firm hug and patting his back.
âtook you long enough to show up,â jungkook says as they pull apart, raising a brow.
jin lets out a dramatic sigh. âhad to deal with things, you know how it is,â he says, waving a hand before flashing a grin. âbut hey, iâm here now, arenât i?â
âyeah, you are,â jungkook replies, shaking his head lightly, though the smile on his face betrays the faint scolding in his tone.
âoh, come on,â jin says, feigning offense. âis that it? is that all the welcome i get? give me a proper one! i am one of the guests tonight, after all.â
his grin grows wider, and jungkook canât help but chuckle at his hyungâs playful energy.
where is jungkook?
you're in the auditorium, surrounded by bustling booths, neatly arranged tables, and groups of students passionately discussing their projects. you didnât realize business majors went all out for an expo like this.
you feel like yelling his name at the top of your lungs. you've been walking around, searching through a sea of unfamiliar faces, but you canât find him anywhere.
âuh, hey,â you say, tapping a guyâs shoulder, interrupting his conversation.
woah, this guy has really broad shoulders.
he turns around, and youâre momentarily taken aback. the man is tall, dressed in a suit that looks like it was tailored for him, glasses framing his handsome face, and hair styled perfectly.
âyes?â he asks, polite but slightly curious.
you hesitate, then decide to go for it. âdo you know where i can find jungkook? i mean, jeon jungkook? heâs supposed to be here somewhere,â you say, unsure if he even knows who jungkook is. but youâre desperate now.
his lips curl into a small smile. âwhy, of course. i was just speaking with him a few minutes ago. he excused himself to use the restroom, so he should be back shortly.â
âthank you,â you reply quickly, already preparing to make your way toward the direction of the restrooms. maybe, just maybe, youâll bump into him as heâs walking back.
âare you one of his friends?â the man asks suddenly, stopping you from taking a step forward.
you glance at him, unsure how to respond. âuh... yes, kinda. sure,â you say awkwardly. you catch the faint arch of his brow, as if your answer only piqued his curiosity more.
why didnât i just say yes? you mentally scold yourself, feeling ridiculous.
clearing your throat, you quickly excuse yourself.
"excuse me,â you mumble before turning and walking away, hoping the restroom isnât far and jungkook will finally appear.
you walk through the rows of booths, still scanning the area for any sign of jungkook. the loud chatter of students and the hum of discussions fill the air, but all you can focus on is the thought of finding him.
as you near the restrooms, you catch a glimpse of a familiar figure standing by the entrance, hands stuffed in his pockets, his posture relaxed yet somehow tense.
itâs him.
your heart skips a beat, and you canât help the small sigh of relief that escapes you. he looks as good as ever, effortlessly drawing your eyes to him. heâs wearing a sharp black suit that fits him perfectly, making him look every bit as important as youâre sure he is. he must be a key figure in this expo, you think.
all you know is that heâs supposed to give some kind of presentation. thatâs it. nothing more. you didnât bother to find out the details because, honestly, none of it matters to you.
all you want right now is to see him.
you walk towards him, taking slow steps, unsure how to act. you haven't seen him in what feels like forever, and all that awkward tension youâve been trying to ignore creeps back up.
when he notices you, his eyes widen for just a second before a small smile breaks across his face. itâs a smile you havenât seen in a while.
âhey,â he greets you.
you nod, trying to keep your cool despite the rush of emotions. âhi,â you say, feeling your heart race. you look at him, searching his face for any clue about how heâs been, but you can't tell much.
âi didnât think youâd show up,â he admits, his gaze flickering over you. âthought you were gonna skip it.â
âjust wanted to see what this is all about.â you say, trying to sound casual
he chuckles softly, his eyesglancing down. âdidnât expect you to be interested in this stuff.â
âwell, iâm not,â you say, feeling the need to explain yourself. âbut i wanted to see you. jungkook.â
thereâs a brief moment of silence as his expression shifts, and you canât tell if heâs surprised or if heâs just been waiting for you to say something. his eyes meet yours, and thereâs an intensity there that makes you second guess every word you just said.
âiâve been meaning to talk to you,â he says quietly, stepping a little closer. âi know things have been... off. and honestlyââ
loud chatter in the background interrupts him, making both of you exchange a quick glance before he speaks up again.
âfollow me.â
you follow him without thinking. the sound of people fading away as you walk through the crowd. he leads you to what feels like an empty lecture hall, making sure to lock the door behind you. you stand there, waiting for him to speak, the quiet now heavy between you two.
âi know things have been different recently,â he starts again, his voice soft. âand i honestly donât know why...â he sighs. âbut i want to apologize for that day. iâm really sorry.â
you swallow, trying to steady yourself. âi forgive you,â you say, your voice steady, but there's still an uncertainty in your chest.
âreally?â he looks at you, his gaze searching yours for some kind of reassurance.
âyeah,â you nod, âi was just sick and i guess i overreacted a little, iâm sorry for that.â
he shakes his head quickly. âyou didnât. you didnât overreact.â
a quiet but heavy silence fills the space between you both.
âso, uh, cool event,â you say, trying to break the tension.
âdonât act like you care,â jungkook smiles, the familiar smirk finally making its way onto his face.
you smile too, shrugging lightly. âyeah, i donât.â
thereâs another brief silence. youâre not sure what to say next, the awkwardness still lingering in the air. what if heâs going to end things? what if heâs had enough? what if.
âjungkook, iââ
his lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence. the kiss catches you off guard, but his arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you in, and any hesitation melts away. his warmth seeps into you, grounding you in the moment as his lips move against yours with a desperate sort of tenderness.
you donât pull back. instead, you let yourself fall into it, let him guide you. the kiss deepens, and with it, the questions and uncertainties that had been weighing you down dissolve, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him. here, now, with you.
when you finally pull back, your chest heaves as you gasp for air. your mind is racing, your heart pounding in your chest. you donât know how to respond. a part of you wants to spill everything; how much youâve missed him, how unbearable the distance has been, how empty youâve felt without his touch. but the words catch in your throat, like they're stuck somewhere.
âiâm sorry, iâŠâ he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands donât leave your waist, holding you close as if afraid you might slip away. âi missed you.â
those three words hit harder than you expect, stirring something deep inside you. warmth spreads through your chest, a quiet comfort you didnât realize youâd been craving.
itâs simple, almost too simple, but it feels like itâs enough. like itâs the answer to everything thatâs been weighing on your heart; the confusion, the space, the silence between you two. suddenly, none of it matters.
âyou missed me?â you ask softly, your voice trembling just slightly. itâs as if you need to hear him say it again, to be sure youâre not imagining it.
he nods, his eyes locked on yours. his voice is gentle. âyeah, i did.â
you stare at each other for a moment, the air between you thick with many unspoken feelings. then, without thinking, you lean in, closing the distance as your lips find his. your arms wrapping around his neck as if pulling him closer could erase all the time you spent apart. he responds immediately, his lips pressing against yours with equal fervor, like heâs been waiting for this.
your right leg slides up instinctively, brushing against his hip, and he understands your silent request. his hands move to your thigh, gripping it firmly as he lifts you effortlessly. your legs wrap around his waist, and his strong hands shift to cup your ass, holding you securely against him. the closeness sends a rush of heat through you, your bodies fitting together perfectly.
the kiss deepens, his tongue teasing against your lips until you part them, granting him access. his tongue brushes against yours, slow and deliberate, sending a wave of warmth straight to your core. you hum softly into the kiss, the sound vibrating between you, and his grip on you tightens.
he places you on the nearby desk, his lips never leaving yours. his hands grip your waist, keeping you steady. your fingers slide down to his chest, gently gripping his shirt as if holding on for balance. he pulls back for a brief moment, giving you both a chance to catch your breath.
without hesitation, he shrugs off his blazer, carelessly tossing it to the floor. the sound of it hitting the ground barely registers as his hands return to you, cupping your face with a tenderness that contrasts the heat between you. his lips find yours again, urgent yet soft, and you let him take control, your hands moving to cup his face too.
your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer, and you can feel his soft bulge pressing against you. the sensation is enough to make your breath hitch, and you instinctively tilt your hips toward him, craving more of the pressure.
he pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against yours as he murmurs, âyou drive me crazy.â
oh fuck.
âwhatââ you start to ask, but the sound of knocking interrupts you.
both of your heads snap toward the door, your bodies tense.
âjungkook!? you in there?â a familiar voice calls out, loud and clear.
jungkook immediately recognizes it and clears his throat, trying to steady his voice. âyes! jin hyung, iâm here.â
âiâm about to give my speech, so you better be there asap!â jinâs voice is full of its usual dramatic flair. âi came all the way here for this moment, and i donât want you to miss my glory.â
you hear his footsteps retreating, his words lingering in the air.
jungkook exhales, his head leaning slightly forward until it rests against your forehead. his hands remain on your waist, his touch warm, grounding you in a moment that feels anything but steady. he mumbles under his breath, almost as if heâs scolding himself. âof all the timesâŠâ
your heart races, and your mind spins in circles. what does he mean by you drive him crazy? the weight of those words presses down on you, heavy and confusing.
âjungkook,â you start, your voice barely above a whisper. âi think you should go.â
he lifts his head to look at you, his brows furrowing slightly. the regret in his eyes is unmistakable.
maybe i shouldnât have said that. he thinks as he takes a small step back, creating a gap between you that suddenly feels too wide.
âare you going to stay?â he asks cautiously, his voice softer now.
you open your mouth to answer but hesitate. you donât know what to say. this was never part of your plan. all you wanted was to see him, to tell him you were sorry too. but now, standing here with him, everything feels so much more complicated.
â___,â he says your name gently, snapping you out of your daze. your gaze meets his, and he blinks at you, his expression searching.
âi know things have changed between us, andââ
âwhat do you mean? weâre fine, though,â you cut him off quickly, the words spilling out as if saying them will make them true.
he lets out a heavy sigh, âare we?â
the question catches you off guard. your frown deepens as uncertainty settles in your chest.
are we?
your silence answers for you, and he notices. he always notices.
âitâs okay,â he says softly, almost like heâs trying to soothe you. âi donât know how to deal with it either.â he pauses, his voice quieter. âi donât know what we are right now.â
what are we?
the words echo in your mind, and you hate how much they hurt. it wasnât supposed to be like this. you never wanted it to turn into this mess.
âi thinkâŠâ you start, and his eyes are on you immediately, waiting, hoping youâll say something that will make this all easier.
â...i should go.â
you donât miss the way his shoulders drop just slightly, the smallest sign of defeat. you hesitate for a moment before sliding off the desk, your movements stiff and uncertain.
you gulp, forcing yourself to meet his gaze one last time. âgood luck with your presentation,â you say softly. you linger for a second, watching him, hoping heâll say something to stop you. but all he does is nod, his response quiet and unreadable.
with a deep breath, you turn around and walk toward the door. every step feels heavier than the last.
behind you, jungkook exhales a long, weary sigh, running a hand through his hair.
did i mess it up? he wonders, his chest tightening with something he doesnât know how to name.
a/n: um haha.... jin with glasses yay!! đđ»ââïž
đ series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @wombatkitten127 @hoseokteardrop
đ permanent taglist: @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle @internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097
#jeon jungkook#jungkook x y/n#fanfic#bts jungkook#jungkook x you#jungkook fic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#jjk x y/n
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didnât want to start mist discourse but iâm mad. i think this fandom has a rather glaring issue about how they treat female characters in general. so anyways a rant towards a few certain anons who have decided hating on mist is the new hot thing!
Mist Is A Good Character, Actually: Why This Fandom Needs to Treat Female Characters Better
(she likes to pick apples! good for her! âŠor are those tomatoes?)
i can tell that one of those anons never played the tellius duology simply because in a cutscene in the PROLOGUE mist is literally playing in a field of flowers??? the cutscene with the famous â âbout time!â line from the questionable english dub??? established right off the bat is that she enjoys nature, confirmed by her official art above showing her with a basket of apples! listen i hate being a gatekeeper, the tellius games arenât the easiest to emulate and physical copies are pricey, but come on. you canât be sending anon hate when you barely know the characters. iâve also seen someone talk about how her only trait is being ikeâs sister??? what??? okay listen to me for a second. their mom is dead at the start of path of radiance. greil is still alive at this point. mists behaviour is a bit different from how she is in later chapters and in radiant dawn at this point, such as poking fun at ike and boyd. however, once greil dies, she breaks down, and is a lot more attached to ike from then on. she literally follows him into the final black knight fight in path of radiance. SOREN of all people stayed out of it and lord knows heâs with ike all the time. so donât come at me with this âsheâs just ikeâs sister đ€â stuff, sheâs scared to lose him after losing both parents before sheâs even an adult, because when greil went off to fight by himself, he died!
you also canât just dictate whether or not a character is good because of a tiny list of what they like. thatâs not how it works. mist is not a âmini housewifeâ, she is a fifteen year old who lost her mother at a young age and is one of two girls in the Greil Mercenaries before Mia joins - itâs pretty clear, to me at least, that thatâs probably affected her and who she is as a character. the duality of a fifteen year old girl who enjoys playing in flower fields and teases her brother, but is also one of two girls in a male-dominated mercenary group, stuck doing most of the chores because aside from oscar being a cook, i canât see people like boyd or gatrie coming in to help with the domestic stuff like sewing!
i would also like to add that i do agree that fire emblem is weird about character ages, but listen. stop getting mad about how she shouldâve been ten years old or whatever. thatâs not helpful when looking at a character from an analytical angle. use it to ask WHY the creators chose to design her that way or why she acts childish at times. my english teacher once said to us, nothing is by accident in a short story. the author has limited space to tell their story, so everything serves a purpose. why is this relevant? the same philosophy holds here, in my opinion. fire emblem is a series that has a huge cast of characters that all have to share that limited amount of screen time. when taking a look at someoneâs character, you canât just immediately write something off as the designers being silly. so why is mists age 15 when she looks and acts in such a way? to me, the designers wanted to show how she didnât get the chance to grow up like most girls, raised in a place where she had to learn to take care of herself pretty fast, and sheâs trying to hold on to what she has left of her childhood - when she had the time to focus on hobbies aside from domestic ones. this isnât a knock on greil or titania or the other mercenaries, though; itâs just the nature of having to leave their base quite often, and i think mist had to find comfort in the small things that started off as chores, hence why theyâre in her list of liked things.
this whole mist debacle has kinda exposed something within the fire emblem fandom that isnât talked about much. yes this was only two anons who came after her, but itâs something i find prevalent with other female characters like deirdre. a lot of people donât take the time to look into female characters and who they are, and write them off as being boring and having no personality. and i donât think the guys of fire emblem get that same treatment at all. the fact that SHE was singled out in a cast of over 70 playable characters by radiant dawn is just nuts to me. âdragging down telliusâ. the same games with a character whoâs been called out for being a racist stereotype. and it just makes me angry that this kind of treatment of the girls of fire emblem goes unchecked a lot of the time. hyping up Lyn or whoever is generally perceived as a âgood characterâ doesnât mean youâre automatically exempt from contributing to fandom misogyny. and the reason i say this is because a lot of these fans donât really care about taking a deeper look into the women. itâs a surface level glance at them. thereâs a reason why micaiah used to be called a mary-sue. they just assume that they wonât be as âwell-writtenâ compared to the men. if you want to combat fandom misogyny, you have to uplift all women in the cast, and that includes women you think are uninteresting or bland, because thereâs some really interesting stories being told that have been ignored. again taking the tellius fandom as an example: there are so many amazing female characters in the duology, like thereâs Jill of course but they genuinely did a great job with so many of the women. lethe, elincia, micaiah, titania, almedha, ena, to name a few. and while yes, theyâre generally regarded as good characters, they donât get the same amount of love the others do - thereâs hardly anyone digging into them and their motivations. and itâs criminal.
in conclusion, do better. mist isnât a bad character. fandom misogyny runs deep, and the only way to fight it is to start appreciating the women of the series as characters, and to give them the same in-depth analyses the men get.
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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like âSure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Teller of Small Fortunes
lighthearted fantasy adventure
follows an immigrant fortune teller who travels between villages telling small fortunes for people
when she runs into a (mostly reformed) thief and an an ex-mercenary searching for his lost daughter, she ends up traveling with them in the hopes she can help, along with a baker they meet along the way,
they encounter various magical creatures and adventurous situations, and eventually she has to face her past
no romance
#The Teller of Small Fortunes#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this was okay#to be honest I didnât get very attached to any of the characters - I found most of them a bit one dimensional.#(I kept forgetting the cat even existed - why keep mentioning the magical cat in the promo if itâs barely there!!!)#And not feeling much for the characters meant I struggled to feel much about everything else about the story honestly#The exploration of being diaspora in a foreign country & experiences of racism & her relationship with her mother was probably the most#interesting to me.#I always give cozy fantasy a chance but honestly I need it to be deeply introspective or maybe like really funny#itâs just a bit too light for me? (other than the racism and xenophobia - Iâm glad to see more of that in this space)#Itâs just I think not deeply enough for me - and combined with not feeling attached to the characters I just wasnât feeling it#Also one of the reasons I picked this up was because I was seeing people say it has an asexual MC and let me just say-#it has a very vaguely AROace CODED mc#If youâre looking for it thereâs a few lines of implications but itâs not super clear and also any mention is romance related - aro! not ac#There were SO many instances that would have been an opportunity to bring up aro/aceness and the choice to not do that#felt sightly strange to me?. however tdlr readers could be promoting this on it having no romance and focusing on#friendship/family instead of saying it has an ace MC which isâŠ.only there if you squint#no romance#***other than side characters being married and also:#Thereâs a minor subplot where a side character has a crush on another SC which is unrequited#and thereâs a bit of a confrontation after which he backs off. but then itâs implied they might get together in the end :(#which was unnecessary! come on!#I always find fantasy characters inventing real life foods slightly odd but at least this one is more from the authorâs culture#anyway. it's okay! just didn't really end up being for me
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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as a zookeeper I have to do public talks fairly often and where I live it is a legal requirement for zoos to educate the public on conservation issues (which is done in part by public talks).
I just love starting off a talk talking about how cute the animals are and where they live and how they hunt and whatever else. All the fun facts about their behaviour and the enrichment we provide and things like that. and just when they're invested and having a good time i hit them with the ol' "this is why the exotic pet trade is evil" and just watch their faces change as i talk about why they should be mindful of the videos they watch on the internet. absolute gold. even better when i can TELL they're having The Realisation
#i could go on for HOURS about how social media is one of the main driving forces of the exotic pet trade#i was talking about asian short clawed otters yesterday and telling people about how all those otters they see in 'otter cafes' online#do not have access to the resources they need like constant access to water (to swim) and a proper diet and specialised vet care#and these teenagers were like o.o oh okay...#and then they were like what about capybara cafes#and i was like well. capybaras are adorable but they also need a lot of space AND constant access to swimming water#so unless the cafes also have a big paddock and water for the capybaras...#and they were like âoh... probably not!â#and like YES EXACTLY NOW YOU SEE IT#now you realise that animal spaces need to be made with the natural behaviours and needs of the animals taken into consideration#as a bare minimum#this is not to mention that constant interaction with humans is also not healthy and goes against conservation values#ANYWAY#enough rambling#fuck those online animal 'rescues' that show off their wild animals like pets#and FUCK animal cafes
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i've been thinking about it and i'm not cursed at all i'm just living in struggle county and poor. no one here is doing their job correctly. nothing ever works out. groceries are through the roof because of the monopolies the local stores have and when there are sales they don't update their system so you don't even pay the sale prices. i tried to get a dent in my car fixed through insurance and had difficulty reaching the insurance office, then difficulty reaching the body work places, then never got a callback after my appointment so i stopped pursuing it. i had weird lights on my dash a different time, took it in. they wiped the warning readouts and told me to take it somewhere else and when i did the readouts were no longer present so they couldn't do anything. that all took 3 hours out of my day for nothing. i bought new tires but they weren't a certified dealer so i don't get the brand warranty in its entirety, which i hope never becomes relevant. when i went to the doctor they gave me the wrong dosage on my script then wouldn't fix it without another appointment that i couldn't afford so i just quit taking it. the local pharmacy will run low on a med and edit your script to accomodate their shortage but then you run out early and don't have a script anymore and the pharmacy says it's your problem not theirs. mail often runs late so you'll miss important appointments and deadlines because if the office itself is 4 business days late sending out their mail and then the postal service is 3 business days late bam. that's you getting your mail a week and a half late. it's unlivable. you're not meant to live here.
#some of the indignities i have suffered in the past 2 years are unspeakable#but if i think about it this sort of thing has always been happening it's just now it's happening constantly and impacting me 10x worse#i'm planning my appointment with the bank and i realised i need to wear rich people cosplay to subtly indicate#that i have the funds to utilise out of county legal resources#and am not afraid to do so#because their angleâand it's all of these business' angleâis that they can get away with this bc there's nothing i can do about it#what am i gonna do switch to the single other bank in town#drive 30 minutes further for my medicine#or my medical care#or my automotive services#they can all do whatever they want because people with no other resources will still have to rely on them#i saw a woman in the doctors office last year who was using a cane and could barely walk and she was at the nurse's counter CRYING#bc they were treating her like she was a dealer bc she needed pain relief & the doctor had left the appointment without giving her an rx#that woman left empty-handed and has probably been back to that office since because what else can you do.#i'm not cursed i am living in an uninhabitable space. i am not wanted here. these people will not help me for all the money in the world.#they are doing their jobs properly for the people in their church groups and for their families and their friends and i am none of those#so why would i expect them to do anything for me#i gotta get outta here#adam yaps
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a đ#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type đ Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is đ Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was đ sughested emoji#but then the second time it was đ.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like đ on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak đ#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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my inability to play mobile games nowadays is also a source of suffering as a person who loves rhythm games. i miss her (SIF1).....
#but 1) she is shut down <3 and 2) even if she was still up i probably would barely play because the game was getting.... messy#i loved the old UI but they kept like. adding shit. too many little red exclamation marks#but it was one of the comfiest feeling rhythm game mechanics i ever played#i need to find a rhythm game that really feels good is my problem. high key i actually do not like most of the project diva style gameplay#TOO MANY button inputs that are hard to read im too learning disabled for that#i did love project mirai tho. and i liked project diva X because the progression was less skill focused and more perseverance#i really dont like post ps4 pd i do NOT like those multi button inputs where you have to do like#r1 + square + circle + whatever and it like changes every time. girl i cant READ#i much prefer rhythm games where the inputs are simple and dont require as much thinking or reading#and its more focused on just how good can u hit those simple inputs#i really loved beat saber when i played it at a vr arcade once. but i do not have the space or money for vr rn LOL#i also have really enjoyed taiko. someday i'd like to try a peripheral. one time i played it on the dk bongo gamecube controller#to see what it felt like. it felt bad <3 but it was fun <3 <3 <3 <3#osu i havent really liked. although i do enjoy elite beat agents and oeundan. i think its the physically small screen of the ds#sometimes its fun to boot up melodys escape or audiosurf too. but id really like to try other games#when i did play mobage i was partial to stuff like sb69's three track system and llsif's 9 spot system#but i didnt like the way deemo felt.... the size of the visual hit boxes were TOO SMALL it always felt weird#flick notes sucked whenever i played a mobage tho. i have SWEATY FINGERS dont to this me#swipe notes are fine its just flick. also i dont like how hard they are to read similar to a lot of console games <3
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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The Bear fans stop being wildly misogynistic about Claire challenge
#do i ship her and carmy? no. i can see their relationship's narrative purpose but I have no investment in them getting/staying together#is Sydney probably my favorite character? yes. i would kill and die for her.#can i hold both of these truths in my head without devolving into wild vitriol bc the Wrong Girl is dating My Special Boy? yes. grow up.#like the lengths people will go to to find excuses to treat her like an evil awful bitch are ridiculous#its 2023. yall should know better.#and you see this all the time in fan spaces for stories about a Special Sad Boy and I'm literally begging yall to stop#you don't need to like claire. you can dislike her as a character/not like her relationship w carmy/whatever you want. but stop being#fucking weird and sexist about it for the love of god#if you really hate the fact that she's dating carmy and you think their relationship sucks...have you considered being annoyed at the#show writers instead of making up reasons to justify your misogynistic hatred for a character who's barely in the story and whose only#crime is being in a relationship?#the bear#claire the bear
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Someone was talking about how tailoring and embroidery are two different skills, and I keep thinking about a Tav who thinks they're the same bringing a bunch of fabric and thread to Astarion hoping he can bibbity-bobbity-gay-hands magic a dress, but instead of a gorgeous gown, they end up with an abomination that would scandalize any seamstress and make any designer faint
#bat rambles#i actually dont think he'd be able to do pattern drafting#i could see him being able to do hand tailoring and minor mods#but complex pattern drafting?#there is a lot of technical skill involved in patterning and you need the numbers right#plus the materials and space to practice and do mockups#and like you dont HAVE to#but you still need a fairly large space to work in for sewing vs embroidery#plus designing is an entirely different ballgame#i think he'd be excellent at designing within his taste#that being said i do think he could make a tunic and smaller things like that but not at the same skill level as embroidering#plus caz had to make sure they had basics to perform the function he made them for#whether or not those items are attractive / in good condition is of no concern to him#caz as that parent that provides the bare minimum and is like )))): but i never beat you with a belt like my parents did !!!#meanwhile his children are starving and probably have had pneumonia for the last century
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 7: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(⊠see past poll results + further information HERE (link) âŠ)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should go on a 5 day journey to find the Innkeeper's weird brother who studies animals, and show him the Suspicious EggâŠ.
~
The next morning he wakes early, buzzing with renewed purpose, and also minor back pain from sleeping on old potato sacks.. After a meager breakfast of more free leftover scraps, the Innkeeper stops him before he leaves, giving him a few extra supplies for the long journey, as she can tell he doesn't have much. He packs up and sets out onto the road once again, crumpled sketchy map in hand...
He has a fairly uneventful journey for the first day - waving at the occasional other travelers as they pass, cleaning his boots in a nearby pond, stopping to eat some dumplings whilst watching the sunset, and finally setting up a small tent a short ways off the main path, resting with his cat by a dim campfire until they both fall asleep......
The second day, however, does not start as smoothly.. Only a few hours further down the road, he's met with a large barricade, guarded by a group of what seems like elven soldiers from one of the larger surrounding cities of the area. Practicing his confidence, he puts on his best "brave face" (which to others, appears more as some sort of pained wince, like he might have something in his eye), shakily striding right up to the authority figures he is definitely not afraid of.
"Halt, traveler! You cannot pass."
He sways slightly, struggling to keep his wobbly legs under control, "OH, y-yEAH, ssorry, I was-, hh, I was just walking, ~o-out for a stroooll~, haha, so I .. uh.. o-okay. That's.. okay. But, uh.. could, can.. euh.. C-can I ask why? like... why the, uh... blocking off.. of ... the um.. the-"
"Unfortunately, we are not at liberty to disclose any information on the nature of this current road closure. Our sole duty is to maintain security of the barrier."
"hhHeh, ye.. eAh, for sure, I-I get that.. Duty is.. really so... important in ... today's world.. gotta, um.. do the duties.. or, uh.. .. yeah, but.. so, uhhh... wh-Do you know.. maybe, uh... H-how long you'll, like... be here? guarding... and such...??"
"We'll be here as long as we need to be here."
"...O-okay.. but, like.. uh... any,,.... time estimate? hahahehhh?? like, uh.. a day, or... two, or um...??"
"This matter does not concern you, traveler. Move along."
"Aoh, yeahgh, I.. totally.. totally.. it, uh.. Well.. but it kind of does though,, right? B-because I do, in fact, actually have to go down that road at some p-point sssoo, um,... uh.. I-"
"I said move along."
The guard abruptly takes a step forward, causing The Adventurer to yelp as if he'd been hit, tripping over his own feet and scrambling off on hands and knees, lunging into bushes near the rocky roadside.. After exchanging a confused glance, the guards both shrug, resuming their stoic positions at the barrier.
The Adventurer watches from the uncomfortable safety of some berry brambles, surveying the area at a distance and desperately trying to work out how he can still get where he's trying to go. The map given to him by the Innkeeper is pretty straightforward, not showing alternate paths. Based on his primary map, he could maybe think of a few detours, but he's anxiously unfamiliar with the area... How should he proceed?
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Additional Details - (I decided whenever he gets new items or goals or something, I'll list them at the end just to keep track)
items + to inventory (from the Innkeeper): 2 lunchboxes of vegetable dumplings, 2 canteens of water, a box of tea, one rope, 1 pouch of dried meat, 4 candles, a hand-drawn map
main goal: get to the abandoned castle ruins to see the rare animal specialist about the egg
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#SORRY this took so long. I still want to do this daily or every other day lol. I just had a lot going on the past few days#the story tidbit of this one is slightly longer again because you need spaces to break up dialogue and etc. but much shorter#than the other one still and pretty concise. I tried to leave out a lot of detail and just give the bare minimum again lol#Hopefully his speaking style isn't too grating also ghbjhb.. I'm more familiar with writing dialogue for like.. people to say out loud so#to me I'm always trying to hear it in my head and write eveything exactly how it would be spoken. and to me it sounds fine#if you act it in the exact voice I'm envisioning and have a distinct speaking style where you pause or drag#out words in a specific way - like with particualr cadence and comedic timing - it sounds fine#I'm just not sure if that translates to text as well lol#But he doesn't actually talk often. the past two times have been exceptions since he keeps running into people#And he'll have to talk if he ever actally makes it to the Innkeeper's brother. But most obstacles on the road#are probably prettyy easily dialogue free#ANYWAY...#Love his dramatics.. Imagine if you just take one step towards someone and they scream and throw themselves#onto the ground and run away gjhhjbj#the cat just leisurely trotting over to catch up with him because they're not actually scared#anyway.. ! day 7.. that's like a whole week! except it's been over a week since sometimes it takes me like 2 days lol
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fucking crazy i have to be on four (4) medications to attempt to function like a normal human being and even that is not working
#vent#i just started wellbutrin and im really hoping that will help but idk man#i think i might have cfs but it costs money to try and get diagnosed with that#but it also costs money to go see a neurologist which is the other thing my dr told me i should do#well they also said i need a colonoscopy like a year ago and i never did that but idk#it all costs money. our insurance sucks shit.#and iâm moving next month and can already barely afford that but my parents are really forcing my hand#gonna be working two jobs again next semester too which i have no idea how iâll cope with bc my class load is pretty heavy#and iâm just so fucking spaced out and wiped and anxious All The Time. like. nonstop. sleep never helps#idk man i also just struggle to eat anything at all that probably does not help. itâs 6:30pm and i have not had a full meal
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