#do i have too much to say in these sorts of posts?

[dragon-ascent]

Hi hi hi!!! I absolutely adore your Zhongli fics your characterization of him makes me swoon he’s such a cutie

Out of curiosity, what’s your opinion on the Zhongli/Morax x reader trope of reader initially being a sacrifice to the dragon god only for Zhongli to be like “What no I don’t take sacrifices???” And just taking reader in as a sort of roommate or something like that. It’s a trope I find really interesting and funny and I’m curious to hear your thoughts on it :)

Hi hi and thank you! Zhongli's the cutest patootie :) <3 And I freaking LOVE that trope!!! Like, easily top 3 trope for Zhongli if you ask me. (I could make a whole tierlist of tropes for him, but that's a post for another day haha.)

Ik you just asked for thoughts but have a little write-up, as a treat. :)

xxx

Rex Lapis is a tad offended that he'd be perceived as the type of god to take human sacrifices, since he does everything in his power to ensure mortals feel comfortable and safe around him. But he's assimilated many groups of people into his land, so it's only natural some may still retain the beliefs and customs they did under the deities preceding him, as grim as that may be.

When you're left in front of his abode as a sacrifice, he sees how urgently he needs to rectify those customs.

You're a jittery thing, all nerves and shudders and, to his dismay, rather scantily-clad especially given the season. He does his best to push the implications of your clothing to the back of his mind as he brings you into his home and warms you up by the fire with some nice warm blankets too.

He assures you he will not lay a finger on you with malicious intent, but you're staring at him like a deer in headlights - like he'll throw you into the fire at any moment if you so much as breathe wrong. Every movement of his makes you stiffen, and even the tea he brews for you is met with trepidation in every sip.

He can't send you back to your people as they'll believe you're a faulty sacrifice and kill you off themselves - so Rex Lapis takes you in his care instead.

He feeds you, clothes you, and even lets you rest in his bed while he takes the floor beside you. You're mostly quiet at first, but as the days pass and there's no sign of him hurting, devouring, or killing you, a seed of trust in his words blossoms. You believe the God of Contracts when he gives you his word he will keep you safe and cared for.

Given the way he treats you, there's no reason to feel otherwise - you've become something of a close companion to him, someone to share the tender joys and sorrows of life with. He used to go on strolls by his lonesome, but now he finds that having someone to walk with is much more enriching, giving his evenings an added tinge of fulfilment.

People do stare and whisper when they see you by the god's side, but if this is how Rex Lapis chooses to make use of their 'sacrifice,' who are they to argue?

Some watch, agog, as the golden deity takes you to the market and practically splurges on you. You shyly point to a sweet treat that looks appetizing, and he boxes a dozen of them without a moment's hesitation. A pretty accessory catches your eye for a second longer than the others, and when you turn to move on to the next stall, Rex Lapis is having said accessory taken off display and handed to you.

"These are the calligraphy brushes I spoke of yesterday," he tells you casually as he runs a finger along the sleek wooden writing instruments. "Would you like to give the activity a try?" It only takes one meek nod from you for him to get you a whole set of the brushes, promising to teach you when you both get home.

It's a shocking sight to everyone who'd betrayed you, everyone who'd so easily given you up for some false belief they held on to so stubbornly: here you are, being treated like you're actually worth something to the god, what with the way he smiles and laughs softly at something you say, the way he gently touches your elbow to veer you away from the evening rush, the way his footsteps fall in rhythm with yours.

As you pass certain familiar faces, your head snaps down and you fall silent, and Rex Lapis immediately knows they're the ones responsible for your plight. He throws them a sharp, stone-cold glare over your downcast head, and they recoil in fright, quickly turning the other way to pretend they can't feel like a whole landslide of shame now hurtles along their spines.

Needless to say, he is greeted by no more human sacrifices at his door. The one he does have, he ensures a long, happy and healthy life for.

[strwberri-milk]

Hi! Love you writing and the way you portray the lnds boys. I've read the rules, and i want to make a request if possible. How do you think they would react if, during sex the reader felt pain but didn't tell them? What would they say when they see it?

Sorry if my English is bad. I am still learning, and reading on Tumblr has helped a lot, so I read good fics like yours 😅

It's okay if you feel uncomfortable with the theme

Anyway, thanks for reading my message ❤️❤️❤️

no worries!! im glad my posts help you learn english but pls do not learn engl from my author notes/rambling posts bc i promise you they are NAWT written properly LMAO0O also this is only mildly suggestive but im gonna stick the entire thing under a cut in case

Zayne hears the sharp intake of breath when he slides in, immediately pulling himself back out to ask you what's wrong. You try to tell him that it's nothing and you'll be fine and he should just keep going but he can't continue knowing he accidentally hurt you. He'll slowly reassure you that it's okay for you two to stop. He wants to find another way to make you feel good without hurting you, hands immediately running over your body again as he slowly works to bring back the pleasure in your body.

Xavier didn't realise you weren't feeling as good as he was until his hand feels how stiff your hips are. He'll remain still, trying to figure out what the problem is as you try to tell him that you're okay. He doesn't quite believe you, deciding that clearly he's hurting you more than making you feel good. He just wants to cuddle you now, mood totally gone for him as he hates the thought of hurting you in any capacity.

Rafayel notices the second you start to feel pain, removing himself from you and asking why you're hurting. He's very insistent so you do end up having to tell him what the problem is, Rafayel mad at himself for not realising that you weren't quite ready for him. He should have spent more time preparing you and makes up for it by kissing you breathless, lips trailing all over you as he works to better prepare you this time.

Sylus doesn't expect the sharp intake of breath, you hoping that it sounds like every other time he slides it in. Of course he does - he sees everything whenever it's about you, body attuned to everything you are. He doesn't say anything though, not wanting to make you feel some sort of way if he draws too much attention to it. You can feel him switching back into foreplay, gently seeking out your consent as he showers you with attention.

[skittles-secrets]

I just wanna say I love your writing sm! 🥰 and I’d like to request hcs on how the batboys act when they have a crush on the reader, and how they work themselves up to asking them out? Tysm!

how they act when they have a crush 😯

bruce wayne

had known the feeling all too well. he'd had lots of crushes before. bruce is worried, though, because most of his other relationships ended in some sort of crazy plot twist and he couldn't handle that again. plus, he was driving himself crazy worrying.

will they not like me after they spend more than a day with me at a time? will they break up with me when they see all the kids? how can i tell them i'm batman?

he got over it though when his eldest son, dick, hit him on the back and encouraged him. "bruce, you can't keep waiting around. if you want something, you have to get it before it's gone, okay?"

so, then he wasn't so afraid of having his little crush anymore.

dick grayson

could've asked you out a loooong time ago. he has the confidence. he has the looks. he was a fan favorite in all of gotham. so why hadn't you? well, he wasn't sure if you'd go for someone like him. he didn't know of your past relationships, let alone if you'd had any. so that's how he talked himself out of it.

it was only when he caught himself giggling at your texts to him at 3 a.m. when he realized that he was down bad. he needed to confess to you. if he didn't, he'd be stuck pining after you and laughing at your texts like a hormonal teenager for the rest of his sad, sad life.

jason todd

didn't really understand the feeling at first. he didn't get exposed to crushes and those sorts of things as a child because he didn't have the luxury of elementary school. then, he spent most of his teenage to young adult years.. well.. dead, so... it's not like he could have been dating anyone then.

that's why he was so confused and nervous. why doesn't talking to you feel like anyone else? why does he mentally scold himself after every conversation for every stupid thing he said.

he realized he had to confess to you on one of the occasions he made you smile. he realized that he wanted to do it over again a million more times, because he wanted to be the one to make you smile and laugh. he wanted to be there for you while you slept, or were sad, or scared. damn.. he really likes you.

tim drake

was no stranger to crushes. he'd always been the type to look at someone and crush on them for years, never say anything, and then it goes away when he realizes that it's never gonna work out. that's what his crush was like, pining after you.

he just automatically assumed that every person he'd like would never even consider dating him. it was weird, because he's a good looking guy and there's no reason for him to think like that.

he realized that he needed to confess to you when he found himself accidentally stalking your instagram so hard he hit the first post you ever made. also, jason called him out for it in front of damian and damian is mean so he got embarrassed and flustered and decided that it wouldn't be so bad if he actually did say something to you.

thank you so much for the request and the follow! i loved this idea, and it was so fun to write. thank you for liking my writing!

[guided-by-the-skies]

Why you may be blocked - by ascendant sign

the ascendent, representing our public facing self, can be correlated with the concept of the super ego in psychology. this is the part of us which keeps our darker nature and our shadow in check. it helps us exist in a society with different views and get along with others, and is crucial for forming our identities. yet because of this nature it can sometimes block us from fully understanding our shadow, making shadow work and freeing blockages challenging.

NB Modern people are WAY WAY too identified with our ascendant and as a result less in tune with our shadow which means it can come back to bite us. This is when we act in cruel or unnatural ways to others, feel like we've 'given in' to our dark side and so on.

The shadow is not BAD it's just unexpressed because it's the stuff we oftern were not allowed to express. However this makes it POWERFUL and by extension a bit dangerous. Again not because it's bad but just in the same way the ocean can be dangerous...

🌩 asc in aries - you feel pressure to one up people. your relief lies in comparing you to you, not you to others

🌩 asc in taurus - you feel deprived or harrassed. your ascendant doesn't feel natural to you, giving you this feeling of never getting a moment of peace

🌩 asc in gemini - you struggle to develop an identity. you focus on what you're saying as opposed to why, leaving you without inner convictions

🌩 asc in cancer - you wear your heart on your sleeve, and it is getting exploited because it's the bit you show to others most

🌩 asc in leo - you feel pressure to achieve, otherwise your identity will crumble. your dream and aim is to base it around something utterly different

🌩 asc in virgo - you get used as the therapist friend. you may have been pretending that you don't mind this, but it still has an affect at a subconscious level

🌩 asc in libra - you feel responsible for other peoples baggage, even though you had nothing to do with it

🌩 asc in scorpio- you are a social chameleon. separating what is yours and what is others' is your greatest challenge but can bring you rich rewards

🌩 asc in sagittarius - you've been forced to take debate too seriously. in truth, you don't need to have an opinion on everything, and it's ok to change your mind or say 'I don't know'

🌩 asc in capricorn - you feel the weight of the world. different from virgo, you feel the need to represent yourself or any group you are part of to wider society

🌩 asc in aquarius - you are worn down by frequent combativeness, when you just want to explore new posibilities. People may block your ideas and shoot them down :(

🌩 asc in pisces - you wonder whether your emotions are normal. you've lacked reference points for how you should feel, or people to normalise it for you. you are normal, for you

*this post is part of a series on why astrology matters regardless of how much you do or don't believe in it. as our lives have become busier, more disconnected, less spiritual, and significantly detached from the rhythms and energies of the earth, we have lost the ability to express the needs that are going unmet

I do a lot of this shadow work from a sort of solarpunk-y direction, beginning to build a post masterlist here or vote in the poll for my next post topic :p

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT with a partner that struggles with an ED

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘hi, if you're comfortable, could you write svt with a partner who has eating disorders? im so sorry if you're not comfortable with that, i did read your guidelines post but maybe I've missed it! have a lovely day :) 💜’

TW/CW: This will discuss a sensitive topic. It is meant to be comforting and relatable, but if you’re not in a headspace for it right now, I recommend not reading. 

A/N: I recognize that idols often have issues like this of their own, but for the sake of this post, I won’t be addressing it in this reaction. The pressure to look a certain way is one of the many things I fundamentally disagree with about the idol industry. I’d really rather them carry a little more weight and be happier and healthier. I think most of us would. 

Focuses on the physical recovery - Seungcheol, Hoshi, Mingyu, Chan

The physical impact of the disorder is what makes him put his foot down about it. If you like to maintain a certain body type, he can’t say too much about it and really does want you to be happy with your body. But he can say plenty about the anemia, the low blood pressure, the GI issues, the hormonal issues, the dental problems, etc. You never feel good, and he’s tired of it. He won’t be mean, but he’ll be stubborn and insistent that you seek treatment of some sort, with the first goal to just start feeling better physically. 

Focuses on the behavioral recovery - Joshua, Wonwoo, DK, Seungkwan, Vernon

Encourages you to eat and also encourages you to keep said food down. Those are non-negotiables to him. But he also encourages you not to overdo it on the food and to pace yourself when it comes to exercising. He stresses moderation for those last two things. He’ll figure out what you feel comfortable eating until you’re ready to try a normal diet because a little food is better than nothing. And he’s so calm when that doesn’t go well sometimes, reminding you that it will be okay, but he wants you to be just as brave about it as he is patient. But if it does go well, he’ll give you endless amounts of praise for facing the issue head-on. 

Focuses on the psychological recovery - Jeonghan, Jun, Woozi, Minghao

Feels that it’s best to tackle this sort of thing at the root of the issue. He wants to know when this habit started and why you feel compelled to keep doing it. If it’s poor body image, he’ll listen patiently, but you have to listen to him explain how he sees you, which may be hard to do because his take is so different. If it has something to do with how you were raised regarding food, he’s dissecting that with you, so maybe one day it will click that it’s not the way to live life now. And if it’s about control or perfectionism, he’s encouraging you to start letting go of some of it and trust that it will be okay if you change your behavior or your weight. Exceedingly patient about it without ever making you feel that you’re being irrational when you struggle with this. 

[bumblingbabooshka]

Inspired by this post: What if B'Elanna reveals to Harry that she feels insecure about not knowing much about her Human (Puerto Rican) heritage after two interactions at the beginning of the episode - one with Chakotay and one with Tuvok where they both display a deep connection to their heritages and cultural practices. Harry then reveals that he's also mixed - his mother being Chinese while his father's Korean. Like Chakotay, he wasn't very interested in cultural practices as a kid (he seems like he'd find them boring at a young age) and his parents didn't push him to participate or learn which was fine when he was a kid but as he got older he began to feel a sense of displacement, guilt, and frustration. It's easier to just be 'Human' rather than taking ownership of anything more specific, especially since to most people he's not visibly mixed, but with being away from his family he feels now more than ever that he wishes he'd connected to that heritage. He expresses the same yearning that B'Elanna brings to him - he's also noticed that Tuvok and Chakotay can connect to their parents, their people, their faith even so far away...that connection gives them a strength and assurance that both Harry and B'Elanna envy. He tells her about the Alter Ego coaching incident and B'Elanna tells him about the Meditation Fail. They both tease each other good naturedly. B'Elanna tells Harry about how Chakotay instructed her in some of his cultural practices (we see in 'Cathexis' that she has knowledge of these practices) and how she started being jealous then, specifically of how he can connect to and sort of amend his relationship with his father (which was rocky in life) THROUGH these practices and the faith he carries in them. She sometimes tried to do the same privately but it felt like acting, uncomfortable. B'Elanna's different from Harry, having been bullied for her Klingon side heavily, she wanted very much to claim her Human (Puerto Rican) heritage. She never saw it as something boring and often tried to connect with her cousins etc over it but they always pushed her away, asserting she was 'Klingon' and as 'Other.' After her father left, she seems to have been entirely cut off from her Human side of the family. When she grew enough to do her own research into her heritage, she felt overwhelmingly that it was already too late for her to connect to this side of herself. People already only call her "Klingon" though she's half Human. If she were to attempt to claim anything more specific, she'd surely just be laughed at. Harry smiles and bumps her shoulder with his own. "I'm not laughing," he says. "You're smiling." "I usually am." Then B'Elanna smiles too. Throughout the series (from that point on) we can see B'Elanna and Harry practicing Mandarin, Korean, and Puerto Rican Spanish. Though they start off just helping the other, they start to learn all three languages between them and sometimes have conversations as they're working together which become less and less stilted as time goes on. Harry even learns a bit of Klingon! This leads to B'Elanna's Human grandmother or something being the one to contact her instead of her no-good-space-racist-daughter-abandoning-terrible-scum-father and B'Elanna opening the conversation by speaking to her in Spanish, to the woman's unabashed delight. B'Elanna quickly wipes away a tear at hearing how proud the woman is of her, how she grew up so beautifully, how she was afraid she forgot all about them or hated them for what her father did to her family but she's so pleased that obviously isn't the case, not if she took the time to learn their language. Afterward, we see B'Elanna restless in her quarters. She gets up and begins a letter. It's to her mother, whom she still doesn't know the status of (her grandmother hasn't been in contact with her or B'Elanna's father). She starts in Standard then pauses and has the computer erase that entry, beginning again in Klingon. End.

[g3tj1nx3d14]

even more caitvi / violyn because i’m bored !! fair warning i’m SO tired so these will be incoherent

warning, spoilers up to act three season two, NSFW after the big warning, and mentions of alc + w33d

SFW

• I see a lot of people saying Vi would smoke, but I fear Caitlyn could also be a bit of a stoner. She was insanely nervous when Vi got her to try smoking, but after her first time taking an edible and getting in a bubble bath with a book? She’s relaxed, that’s her new favorite little thing.

• Vi quit drinking after her underground fighting time. She doesn’t like how it makes her feel, especially as she’s been trying to develop more healthy coping mechanisms for stress.

• Caitlyn gets jealous. It’s harder to tell, as when Vi gets jealous— which is much rarer than Caitlyn— she tends to be very obvious. Grabbing Caitlyn’s waist, the obvious comments of “MY girlfriend”, maybe even straight up PDA. But Caitlyn? Oh, you looked at Vi the right way and all of the sudden Caitlyn is plotting your downfall. She doesn’t share well, at all.

• Random less wholesome one because I like hurting people emotionally; when Caitlyn got out of surgery for her eye— considering she lost it, there must’ve been some sort of surgical process post stabbing— she didn’t call for Vi or Jayce like expected. She called for her mom.

• Vander used to just yank his kids around, so the kids did it to each other too. Not in any bad way, just scruffing them or pulling them over his shoulder with no hesitation. Vi didn’t notice most families didn’t do this until the first time she wanted to show Caitlyn something in the other room and decided to just yank her out of her seat and carry her into the other room.

• Vi and Caitlyn would SO have a dog. 100%. There’s no disagreements there, but on the name? A huge disagreement. Caitlyn wants to name it a cute person name, while Vi wants to name it something stupid. They both train it to respond to their name. This dog ends up named like, Florence but also replies to Microwave.

• Given the amount of explosions they’ve both been in proximity to, they both have wonky hearing. They’re either always super close to hear each other properly or kind of shouting and not realizing it.

• Vi gets more piercings. 100% would.

okay freaky time, warning we’re lowk getting nasty in a good way

NSFW

• I need to elaborate on the Vi bites thing because I’m so sure it’s true to me. She’s biting Caitlyn’s shoulder anytime it’s exposed. Biting her fingers whenever they’re near her mouth. Biting down on her thighs. Everything. She grins like a smug idiot whenever she sees Caitlyn with teeth marks.

• Similarly, Vi is a hickey leaver. She takes it as a challenge whenever she sees Caitlyn try to cover up a love bite.

• Caitlyn tried to do a similar thing, leaving lipstick marks all over her face to embarrass her, but she was proven to be an idiot for that when Vi proudly showed everyone what her girlfriend did.

• Vi would SO be a strap user I fear, and she treats it like it’s her own. I know a lot of people hc the hex strap as feeling like it’s an actual appendage for the user, but if she’s using that or not, Vi is 100% using that shit like she can. Now I can’t stop imagining Cait giving her strap head SORRY IM A FREAK

• Vi tried to tease a few times, but Caitlyn was somehow even more patient than her and cracked before she did.

• Caitlyn used to think she’d always be solely into very pre-planned sex— think candles, already having a plan of what she’d do beforehand, never spur of the moment— but Vi quickly changed her mind. Before Vi, she usually had to spend a bit of time before any hook up trying to make herself get worked up, but with Vi? She could see her in her pajamas, half brushed hair, just grinning at her in a certain way, and she’s jumping on her.

• Vi lowkey seems like the type to lick her fingers after ✌️.

[madamspellmans-met-tet]

✨Polycoven Headcanons ✨

Lilia is essentially the High Priestess of the Coven and everyone worships her (read that however you prefer in terms of sfw/nsfw). Every single one of the coven members holds love for her, admires her, respects her. They all think her incredibly powerful due to the nature of her magic and that in itself is attractive to them. Then of course most of them have mommy issues and who is Lilia if not mama? She gives them a sense of comfort and nurtures their emotional needs since each of them has some sort of lack there. They will do anything for her.

Even Agatha listens to her after Lilia manages to tame her to a degree (again: read however you wish). Agatha is her little brat and Lilia accepts her just as she is in complete contrast to her mother, which leads to Agatha trusting her like she does no other. Agatha gets jealous when Rio spends too much time with Lilia/in her proximity, but on a deeper level it’s the fear of Rio taking Lilia.

Rio and Lilia have a similar dynamic since Rio is mostly seen as destructive and evil, but Lilia knows that what she does serves to maintain the cosmic balance and that she is not only the end of life but also its beginning. Their bond results in Rio being extremely possessive of Lilia.

Alice is Lilia’s little baby. She feels incredibly protective of her, which is something Alice needs because she’s always been the one to protect others but desperately needs security and stability herself. They’re always found snuggled up on the couch together when they have the time.

Jen and Lilia have a sort of besties relationship with lots of playful bickering but also Jen is a rock for Lilia. She’s the one Lilia confides in when she needs advice or just someone to listen herself. They do arts and crafts and cook together! They’re the only ones allowed in the kitchen. Jen just makes Lilia feel very grounded.

Sharon sleeps in Lilia’s bed. It’s her comfort person. She doesn’t know much about what’s going on but she’s happy to be there.

Billy is grandson. He’s the one Lilia goes to when she wants to have a laugh and banter and gossip. He tells her all the hot tea and teaches her pop culture. He made a fan account centred around her and regularly shows her what people are saying about her (only the nice things of course because that’s his nana!) Lilia is quite flattered by all the compliments and interest. It boosts her ego and helps her feel sexy.

Overtime, the coven expands as more and more covenless witches join them and it turns into a sort of cult with Lilia as the centre figure (without that ever having been anyone’s intention). But the original coven remain the only ones in the inner circle and with the privilege to touch (and more) with Lilia. To be spoken to by Lilia is like a blessing to her followers and to be invited into her room and rest their head in her lap while she tells them what time holds for them is a spiritual experience. (give me a shoutout if you use this concept:))

Bonus: NSFW!

Orgies. Everyone wants to get into Lilia’s pants. Her scent is like an aphrodisiac to them. They’re all over her at any given time if she lets them. All she has to do is spread out in the middle of the bed and she will be taken care of. Agatha and Rio fight over who gets her breasts and Lilia will tell them to each take one and if they can’t behave, Alice gets both. Jen is her fav to prepare her because she’s the most sensual. Alice is her fav to make her come because she always puts her pleasure first and understands her body well. Though everyone gets their turn and they won’t stop until Lilia tells them she’s fully satisfied. She never has to do anything in return but if she feels like it, she will give back—but no one is able to speak afterwards.

(started this post bc I just wanted to say that I’m obsessed with the idea of Lilia being worshipped by everyone and treated like a goddess and it escalated)

[sgiandubh]

On sightings

It's that blessed time of the year, with eggnog and spice galore?

Anons are never unemployed for long, because - as I always say - the idiots' mother is always pregnant.

To counter Park Anon, perhaps, another casual fan (relevant later) posted a sighting on another one of those FB behemoth fan groups that come with a LOT of small print barking around ('BE KIND! NO BULLYING! NO SPAM! NO ADS!'). That particular group is obviously Spanish/Latino based and that is sort of relevant, in the geopolitics of this fandom:

Anyways, here goes. The woman had no fucking idea of Claire Fraser's civilian name, but was ashamed to admit to it - so long for accuracy, dude:

Her sister is also a member of the group, but curiously enough nobody asked her anything, even if she was there and could have given her own feedback on the whole event. And she did not offer any, even when her next of kin was clawed around by the patrolling Stans Brigade. Perhaps because she's only been a member of the group since December 15, 2024 (her sister, the OG informer, was active in there since August 30 2024, only)?

Anyways, all the obsessive tropes seem to have been thoroughly checked, in that comment thread.

Blonde Bambino? ✅

Tracula? ✅✅- you know that one was coming, right?

The Wookey Hole Caves is an amusement park in Somerset - oh, how convenient:

C might have went with Blonde Bambino and retinue for the Winter Wonderland show - it does make sense.

An easy daytrip from London, too. But it had to be Somerset, for some reason - where C has established no footprint since 2019 and something she never mentions in fan events (even though Tracula's relatives do live in that area - plot thickens). Where no other sighting had been reported since at least the Italian guy taking a fan pic with C, circa 2019-2020 (help me on this one, veterans 😘?).

What stroke me as odd wasn't even the lack of pictures. It would have been very easy to sneak one, since the OG informer's nephew was riding along Blonde Bambino on an age appropriate ride - but hey, let's not nitpick on that one, after all Park Anon didn't have any, either. Also, the OG informer is unsure about Caitriona's name, but knows exactly how old Blonde Bambino is? What about that 'almost 4" - did C casually throw some pebbles along the narrative track, like Hansel in that fairy tale? Isn't Blonde Bambino supposed to be 3 years, 4 months old? How is that 'almost 4'? Was the OG informer using her own deductive skills, based on a ride Verboten sign?

The carousel the Blonde Bambino could not supposedly ride on is this one. It is situated indoors, in the park's Penny Arcade zone, at The Mill (https://www.wookey.co.uk/things-to-do/):

What stroke me as odd is that both the OG Informer and the Riding Toddler's mum are inexplicably elusive about any specific details. I was not expecting a deposition transcript, for sure, but at least a couple of those details that bring warmth, humanity and plausibility to a story. You know, like Park Anon's little girl having a tantrum because she didn't want to go home:

[Source: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/751391542332325888/i-always-read-the-comments-on-sams-posts-because]

Nothing of the sort, here. But if anything, what gave me pause the most is this tiny little tidbit the sanctimonious people across the street do not want you to see:

You read that right. The Perfect Stay-At-Home Dad couldn't be arsed to watch 'his' son on a ride, in an amusement park where things can and do happen. The One Who Always Babysits, even when his 'wife' is clubbing around with her Praetorian Guard (credit given accordingly 😉) in London, knowing perfectly well C has a full time nanny for 'Baba', looked completely disconnected from the scène de genre. So much so, that the OG Informer had nothing else to report.

So which one is it? Was it T, was it someone else from the Praetorian Guard? Does it really, really matter?

All this carefully calibrated story surely made me think about one of the times I lied to a very nice bungalow B&B landlady, somewhere on the coast of the Peloponnese. When our electricity blew out in the middle of the (cold, February) night, I had to call her and explain 'me and my husband' were about to die frozen in her idyllic little orange orchard. My 'husband' was my best gay friend (currently posted somewhere in the Middle East, LOL) and we were very much plastered with excellent wine, which we happily continued to imbibe after the incident was solved. Bless her heart, she did ask me the next time I went there (with Someone, 😱) how was my 'husband' doing. I shamelessly told her we got divorced, in the meanwhile. She smirked and mumbled something like 'eh, diplomats'. LOL.

Double standards are, as always, prosperous across the street. Other than that, may I just add the most recent reviews of the park are ahem, mixed, at best?

Especially, perhaps, this particular review, written by a mom of a three-years old little girl:

[Source: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g635922-d213489-Reviews-Wookey_Hole_Caves-Wookey_Hole_Somerset_England.html]

I find the management's answer extraordinarily enlightening. They know they have a problem with it. They offer settlement outside of the saloon, perhaps a batch of free tickets and hefty discounts thrown in for good measure. LOL, really LOL.

Hence my question, Your Honor: was it even C? Why would she do that, when she could have easily went to Eurodisney in Paris or any other fabulous London seasonal attraction, of which I am sure there are many? This, by all accounts, sounds more like a sad, rushed and tacky improvisation - again, why? Why on Earth do that to 'Baba'? Why?

Make it make sense, please, because right now it surely doesn't.

I rest my case.

[numberonetacostan]

homeless taco head cannons break my heart

….

so uh.

have any?

Hello there!!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for sending in your request!!! :] YOU BET I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR HOMELESS TACO!!! I THINK I'VE SAID SOME IN VARIOUS ANSWERS/POSTS BEFORE BUT I'LL TRY PUTTING ONES I DON'T THINK I'VE POSTED BEFORE!!! YAY HOMELESS HEADCANONS REQUEST!!!!! I love getting hc requests of any sort!!!^^

-Justin confirmed from one of my stream questions that Taco had stolen food from the hotel while she was homeless!!! I definitely think she avoided doing this at all costs, but during winters when she couldn't forage much if any food from the woods, she'd sneak into the hotel at night after like, a week of not eating to grab as much as she can and gtfo!!! Normally she could probably get in and out safely, but again, she hasn't eaten in a week. I think she would get caught by Pepper, who I had mentioned in my one-hc-for-everyone post to be the resident chef in the hotel!!! It's winter so it gets dark early, and Taco has no sense for what time it is other than the sun, so she accidentally goes in too early and Pepper walks in on her raiding the cabinets. Pepper is understandably surprised, but Taco tries to deescalate!! With her current state though, it comes off more like begging Pepper not to rat her out, and I honestly don't think she would. We have a very homeless, starving, freezing, and bedraggled Taco, and Pepper just can't bring herself to do it. She just turns to whatever food she's making and warns Taco that OJ or Paper might be in the check on the meal any moment. Taco leaves and Pepper never says a word. Sorry about the Tacopep friendship propaganda but i want them to be friends.

-I think Taco would spend a lot of time in the Gemory Cave!! It's basically the only "inside" she can access for when it's snowing, raining, etc., yeah? Staying in the forest during a thunderstorm would be more danger than it's worth for her, and with all the tunnels she'd be able to stay hidden pretty well. I'd say she has a few hidey holes in there, small enough that only she and a handful of contestants would even be able to get inside, where she keeps her most important possessions. At least, what she can't hold in her shell, yeah?

-Mephone did not program Taco with the proper knowledge or skills to survive in the wild. She had to figure everything out through trial and error, including what food is and isn't safe to eat. She had a lot of miserable evenings in those early days, throwing up what little she had managed to scrounge together for a meal, hallucinations, headaches, etc., etc.

--Due to these skills though, she's kinda the MVP of the group post-canon. She's the only one who has a lot of these skills and can work successfully with only the resources they can get from the land. She keeps them from going through the same trial and error phase that she had to, especially important now that they can't recover anymore.

-I think she put the sign in front of the Perilous Forest there herself while she was living in the woods, to keep the others from coming in and finding her. What's so perilous about it? Her.

-Rather than sleeping on the ground, I see her sleeping in trees. She's a Taco, she could reasonably nudge herself into a position in which she won't fall, and at least try to fall asleep. It would be a bit risky if case she fell, but it's definitely better than the risk of getting caught unawares. I don't see her sleeping nearly enough when she's homeless, though, and post-canon when she's in the mansion she sleeps for like 27 hours straight and feels better than she has in years.

-I mentioned in another recent post Taco being afraid of snow because of past instances of severe hypothermia!!! And, yeah, if it snows, or even just gets cold enough, she's fucked. The best she has is the cave, and even then, it wouldn't help much. And she's malnourished, which makes her even more prone to it!!! She does not get proper treatment ever!!!!! I'd say she's had some very, very close calls with frostbite, maybe a rough case of pneumonia or two, more hallucinations because they're great for angst, irregular heartbeat (if they have hearts), etc., etc.

Hopefully these seven are enough!!! If you do want more, feel free to let me know!!! Headcanons are so much fun, I'm always happy to answer requests like these!!!^^

[woozisguitar]

my loooove congrats on your milestone omgg 🤧❤ also i'd lay my soul down on the road for a jun fic from you sjksjk. i still think about the way you put ttpd for jun in your svt as ttpd songs IT SUITS HIM SO WELL. so maybe something inspired by that? a fic, a drabble, or just even how you think he fits the elements of the song in general. honestly, you can do anything you like you have the full freedom to be creative ofc <3

congrats againnn i'm so happy for you 😭💕 also feel free to ditch the fic if you're not up for it, it's totally okay ml <333

esa my loveee 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much!! the fact you remember I put ttpd for jun I rlly hope you like it!! sorry it took a while jshdlj love you and thank you again 😭😭 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

requests for 200 celebration post: open (but slow updates!)

warning: kinda angsty and long, sorry 😞 BUT its a happy ending dw

You left your typewriter at my apartment Straight from the Tortured Poets Department I think some things I never say Like, "Who uses typewriters anyway?"

when you first met junhui, you found him to be a little… weird. there was no better way to put it other than this, and he was not weird in a bad way. sort of eccentric rather? or maybe reserved? this was in the third year of university, in a creative writing class. with no other seat remaining, you took one next to him. you tried to smile and make pleasantries, an attempt to make a friend in the literature department as this was your only english class. now that you think about it, perhaps it wasn't just junhui, because the professor decided to call this class of 30-some students “the tortured poets department,” and assigned the semester project, which was writing a short book of poems about the person next to you, who was also your now-assigned partner. that was the first time junhui spoke to you. a simple hello and introduction, an attempt to make acquaintance with the person he was going to spend the next few months writing about. over time, you found that junhui had rather a … peculiar sense of humor. he liked cats and often resorted to using only cat memes in conversations. he liked spicy food, albeit his tolerance was not that high. oh! and he owned a typewriter and his only explanation ever was ‘i'm a writer and this is the most efficient tool,’ with an expression as blank as the paper he was writing on. you teased him ever so often, asking the rhetorical question, ‘who uses typewriters anyways?’ throwing a small teasing smile in his direction which he bashfully returned.

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?

during a discussion lecture about franz kafka, you discovered junhui might have more underlying layers compared to what he tells people. he would often point at a self-criticizing quote or excerpt and joke that it was about him. but his eyes often told a different story. he also had… days when he’d disappear and his only answer was he had to get the inspiration out of his head and on paper. over time, you got used to this, the sudden disappearance, the sometimes concerning jokes, all of it. and you still stayed by his side as a friend. it wasn't uncommon for the professors and class members to ask you about junhui’s absence and what surprised you more was that you knew exactly where he’d be.. 

And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots"

this friendship with junhui eventually blurred into something more. it wasn’t lovers, not yet, but it also wasn’t just friends. you’d discuss philosophies and arts beyond the confines of the project and class. no, he was slowly taking the place of the closest person in your life, your best friend. and you liked to believe you did for him too. junhui would often talk about making it big as a writer, meeting big names at even bigger venues. you’d often laugh at his dramatics and found them endearing. 

but now, years after not hearing from him, you knew he made it big. you read all his books, hell, you even have copies in your library but you’d always deny if asked. ‘we aren’t who we want to be. nor are we in a place where we should be. we’re modern idiots, that’s all,’ is what he said before he left your apartment and that was the last you heard from him. none of your tears, crying, begging could stop him at that moment. looking back, the only trace of his existence, apart from the wounds on your heart, was the stupid typewriter snow globe he got you.

And who's gonna hold you like me? Nobody No-fucking-body Nobody

so you let him go. despite your hurt, you knew you had to let him go. that was the only way he'd realize no one could love him, hold him, know him like you. you went to class the next day and found that junhui had shifted to finishing his semester online. he already had the credits to graduate, all he had to do was sit through the last week of this semester. your professor asked if you’d like to submit your part of the book and present alone, to which you agreed. this set of poems was, after all, evidence that what you felt for him was real. the junhui you knew was real.

You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist I scratch your head, you fall asleep Like a tattooed golden retriever

the absence of his presence haunted you like the echo of a poem you never wrote. you tried to live your life normally, walking past the old shops and stores, allowing yourself to indulge in the memories of junhui once in a while. like the convenience store outside which you dared him to eat seven bars of chocolate in one go, or the alleyway where you and him tried your first cigarette, and immediately regretting it, making you giggle quietly to yourself in the dead of night. you adopted a cat, sylvie, in hopes to distract yourself, but that ended up being a terrible plan because she reminded you of him in every possible way. she would fall asleep the same way junhui would in your lap. petting her was the closest new equivalent of scratching his head as he slept.

But you awaken with dread Pounding nails in your head But I've read this one where you come undone I chose this cyclone with you

things weren't working out for junhui either. ever since he left you, he convinced himself it was for the best. he knew about his tendencies, his weird habits and attributes, and he also knew you'd accept him, flaws and all. and while he had made peace with the idea of sabotaging himself, he would rather die than let anything hurt you, even himself. he convinced himself, in a true poetic fashion, that leaving you meant he would never be able to hurt you ever again and you won’t have to deal with any of his tendencies. ever since then, he would often wake up in sweat, remnants of a nightmare and faint outlines of your figure still prominent when he’d close his eyes. he would see his books, his poems, come to life in these dreams starring you as the main character. on some nights, the memories with you would plague his mind and feel like nails pounding in the forefront of his skull. but junhui’s conviction and love for you outweighed everything else. even if he knew this would kill him, this heartbreak, he would still endure it because it had you written all over it.

And who's gonna hold you like me? (Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?) And who's gonna know you like me? (Who's gonna know you?)

so he wrote. and he wrote. till his brain was filled with letters and every waking moment felt the need to be penned down in his diary. he thought that maybe if he made it big, he would go back to you and tell you proudly that he did it. he would finally be able to confess his feelings and emotions rather than using words as camouflage. he wouldn't be a modern idiot trying to find his place in this world. he would be your idiot. just yours. he knew, in the back of his mind, the chances of you still feeling the same as him were slim to none, but he still convinced himself that he had to do this for you. during his first book release, he spent the entire tour and interview, looking for you in every face. when questioned about his dedication, ‘to the one I’d always leave my typewriter with,’ he would simply laugh and say it was an inside joke and the person he’s dedicating this book to would know. 

but years passed and you never reached out. when junhui tried to visit you at your old university, he found that you moved after graduation and severed contact with everyone. he tried calling, texting, letters to your parent’s home, all of it but you never responded. he visited every single place in this world that could have a tie to you and searched, but alas he could not find you. when he returned, he was about to give up hope to ever find you again and accept his fate. that’s when he saw you, standing against the railing overlooking the park lake. you looked exactly as he remembered you, and for a second he was transported back to your apartment. you hadn't noticed him looking at you yet, and he basked in your presence from afar for a moment. but you looked up and your eyes met his.

I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots" And who's gonna hold you like me? (Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?)

for the first time in years, junhui braved up, put on his smile, and walked towards you. with each step, he could feel his heart pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears. when he reached you his first thought was that he was wrong. he should never have left. he had everything he could've asked for but he didn’t have you and everything else felt like dust without you. and that you were much, much more beautiful than when he left. when he met your eyes, he saw swirls of sadness, anger, but he also liked to believe he saw hints of love.

“hi,” he squeaked out, “i’ve been looking for you.”

“i know. my parents called to tell me about the letters,” you said, guarding your face devoid of any expression, crossing your arms in front of you, “why reach out now junhui?”

“i was wrong. all those years ago, i was wrong. i shouldn’t have left. ever. you were the only person in this entire fucking world who saw me, my bestest friend. and… and i just left you,” he finished, breathless.

No-fucking-body (Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you?) Nobody (Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?) Nobody

“yeah you did. you left me all alone for years junhui. who exactly do you think you are? you’re not franz kafka and i’m not milena jesenská. i don’t care what messed up idea of love you have in your mind, but i am willing to love you. i will always be willing to love you. i don’t care how much it will ruin me in the process, i know you’ll save me in the end, because we are y/n and junhui. we make our own story. let me rescue you this time, junhui,” you ended with the quote, tears brimming your eyes.

“letters to milena,” he breathed out, “you read kafka? you hated his works. always complained that they were too sad and depressing.”

“you liked them though. i did everything i could to feel closer to you. i even have that stupid typewriter snowglobe you got me,” you giggled, wiping the corner of your eyes.

junhui wiped his own eyes, smiling at you fondly.

“so, mr. writer, do you want to follow the steps of the ones who came before you or are we writing our own story where i finally get to hold you forever? there’s also space for a new typewriter in my apartment, you know.”

junhui laughed, wiping his tears and nodded, “yeah, fuck the poets. let’s be modern idiots and write our own story.” junhui kissed you for the first time that night, against the lake with the moon shining bright above you, in a true poetic fashion.

Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be, ‘cause we're crazy So tell me, who else is gonna know me? At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger And put it on the one people put wedding rings on And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding Who's gonna hold you? (Who?) Me Who's gonna know you? (Who?)Me

“i know it’s too early to say this now,” junhui started as the two of you lay wrapped up in bed in the comfort of your apartment, his fingers drawing patterns on the ring finger of your left hand, “but i will put a ring on this finger someday. i think i’ll die if you leave again.” you giggled at his promise and kissed his nose. “i think i would die too, so i guess it’s a good thing i don’t ever plan on leaving,” you wrapped your arms around his frame, snuggling closer to him. junhui hummed, his heart content for once in his life.

Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?

“everyone probably thinks we’re crazy,” you said after a moment of silence.

“i guess but they don’t know us like us, so there’s that,” he said, his voice drifting off, “as long as i’m holding you, i don’t really care about the people now.”

You left your typewriter at my apartment Straight from the Tortured Poets Department Who else decodes you?

with his typewriter sitting in the corner of your living room, you knew your life with him was now for the better. he was still a tortured poet for the world, but at the end of the day, it was still you who could decode him. no one else.

a/n: the cat being called slyvie is a reference to Sylvia Plath (sorry im a nerd like that 😔)

[kandadze]

FoF rewatch ep 5-6: Zhuo Yichen and Zhuo Yixuan (gifs and loose thoughts)

It might be because I'm an only child, that I tend to gravitate towards sibling - whether by blood or found - relationships. One of my favorite books growing up was Astrid Lindgren's "The Brothers Lionheart." I'm more likely to watch a show if it has an ensemble cast of characters who are in all sorts of familial and otherwise close situationships (hello, FoF). (Must also be why I finished watching My Journey To You the first time - due to my morbid fascination with the absolutely dysfunctional, codependent, borderline incestuous and in general fucked up dynamic between the eldest and the youngest of the Gong "brothers"... not sure what that says about me lol)

Back to the Zhuo brothers.

I loved Zhuo Yixuan the moment he appeared in ep 5 (and not only because I have a soft spot for his actor). I do realize that we get an idealized version of him, seeing him only through the eyes of someone who loved him and then lost him too early, and I still think he was a remarkable guy.

I believe that he can be considered one of the biggest influences on who ZYC is as a person. (The other one would be WX, but that's a whole separate post.) As far as the Zhuo family goes, we know there was a father, but even though he is mentioned, it's never by name, and he never features in any of ZYC's memories, either - which makes me assume that he was a father just by title, and not very close with either of the brothers.

As for their mother, we were told that she died when ZYC was little, so I imagine ZYX himself was a teenager at most at the time. Now imagine this young boy, having just lost his mother, and with barely any support from his father, not only raising himself, but also becoming a whole-ass family unit (mother, father and brother) to his Xiao-Chen. And, even allowing that ZYC's memories only show us the best moments with his big brother, seeing what we can of ZYC's character, I think ZYX did a spectacular job.

He's most likely the reason why ZYC, even socially awkward and shy, draws people in - whether demon, half-god, or human child that's a little bit of both. As long as someone doesn't pose an active threat, he just does his best to do what his big brother used to do for him - asks questions, listens patiently, responds from his personal experience and to the best of his ability. ZYX didn't ridicule him for having nightmares or being scared to dream; he reassured him and then looked for ways to help. ZYX didn't force him into making connections with other children when it was clear it was too painful; he did his best to be there when it mattered and let nature take its course.

There's that scene in later eps where ZYX does his sword training while ZYC entertains himself in the vicinity. It's obvious the brothers enjoyed each other's company, but also had their own pastimes and commitments (the nightmare in ep 6 starts with ZYC doing his own training while ZYX is away). There's the scene with ZYC trying on that delicate golden headband, and ZYX teaching him what it meant to wear one (made me think of a book I read years ago, which featured an apparently Anglo-Saxon tradition of boys up to a certain age wearing a headband woven with 7 strips of white cloth for pretty much the same reasons as ZYX explained to ZYC). He clearly taught his baby brother some sound principles.

I'm also assuming that ZYX was quite lonely himself. In ZYC's memories he's of age to marry and have a child, but there's no other family around that we can see, or that would get mentioned. ZYC must've intuited that, asking ZYX if he's the same as him - as in, misunderstood, and lonely, and his big brother just smiles and doesn't answer, clearly not wanting to burden him.

He instead shares what I think was what he got from being born into Bingyi line - a gift of foresight. I might be reaching, but in my mind ZYX foretold many events in ZYC's life - meeting ZYZ (the "anomaly," that ZYC will recognize not with his eyes, but his heart! The Truth Eye parallels are everywhere...), meeting like-minded companions, waking up the Cloud Light Sword... He seems to have hoped for all the best for his baby brother, not for himself. Which again, makes me emotional at just how good of a man he was, and how he helped ZYC to become someone who's not afraid to be open and soft, who's able to change his mind as new information presents itself, who's emotionally intelligent and does his best to see the world clearly.

We'll never know what would have become of the brothers had ZYX survived, but I believe that if he could see his Xiao-Chen now, he'd be very very proud.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Oh and @duskdog thank you for ur fantastic tags on my other post it got me thinking about Bruce’s uniquely fucked up relationship with Tim and Stephanie, and Tim and Steph’s twin roles they play with how they vie for approval, and how Steph’s firing sort of starts setting up the stakes for her later actions, and I feel like a lot of those ideas actually start to come up in Robin #120. So I’m going to just ramble abt that now I guess.

Like, for one, we’re directed in multiple ways to compare Robin #120 and Steph’s firing in Gotham Knights #37.

Both Tim and Steph tell batman to ���go to hell” in an almost identical speech bubble, the last thing Tim says while comforting Steph is “I know”, the exact same line Steph says last when she comforts Tim, and of course the fact that Steph herself brings up the similarity in situation directly.

Tim backstabs Steph for Bruce’s approval all the while asserting independence in Robin 106, and I feel like Robin #120 is almost a showcase of how his failure to follow through on his claims of independence bites him in the ass. (Maybe a little irony there. Maybe a little karma perhaps)

Tim does the same assertion of independence —> immediately concession thing when he tells Bruce he’s done and basically quits being Robin, only to change his mind completely and awkwardly continue on as Robin as if nothing had happened.

Tim basically proves again where his priorities lie: even its his turn to be the target of the most recent round of the Bruce Wayne’s Mind Games Wheel, he still comes back, he still fails to follow through.

Like, it sets a standard. Steph’s her own person, and I’m not trying to discredit her ability to think for herself here at all, but I think Tim’s choice to forsake his hurt over Batman’s mind game test and go back to Bruce sets a precedent. That this is just acceptable behavior if you want to be on Batman’s team. All I’m saying is this situation probably played some role in Steph’s willingness to pick up the Robin mantle despite her rocky history with Bruce. Steph herself is able to make this clear the connection between her own firing and Tim’s birthday gaslighting, and ergo, if Tim finds that behavior acceptable, if Tim can forgive and forget, if it doesn’t really matter, if Tim can move past it, then Steph should be able to do so too. It’s just part of working with Batman. I feel like that might set the stage for Stephanie’s ability to work under Batman again.

Probably a small factor, if one at all. And certainly not Tims fault really. But interesting to think about!

Additionally, I find the framing of roles so intriguing in Robin #120. Having Tim and Steph completely switch roles, (tricked by Batman becomes comforter, comforter becomes tricked by Batman) with all the corresponding dialogue switching with them (“I know”/“go to hell”) it kinda paints a grim picture.

Like on one hand, it’s nice that they have each other, and it’s horrible that they’re both so easily thrown from victim to comforter because the same man cannot and will not stop playing mind games with these teenagers.

And this moment is especially cool given how Tim and Stephanie are characters who are often shown in contrast to one another. They are contrasted in personality, contrasted in morality, contrasted in relationships with other characters, etc. something established both in Robin 1993 and also I feel picked up on in the fan sphere.

And for once, in Robin #120, they are not really being contrasted so much as directly compared to one another. They say the same words. They fit the same roles. They both are dealing with this same shitty Bat. They’re almost interexchangable, with how aligned their words and feelings seem to be.

But on the other hand, for me at least, Robin #120 also kinda really draws out the differences in the roles they are playing.

In GK37, Tims role as the comforter is perverted by the knowledge he has (and had) which Stephanie does not (and did not). He facilitated (unintentionally or not) the encounter Batman and Steph have. He chose to keep her in the dark, and he chose to lie to her. Of course, who knows what would have happened if Tim had warned Steph on his own, or even if he just hadn’t lied to Steph, their encounter could have very well gone the same way.

But regardless of that, Tim’s role is still not really pure. It’s a shitty situation for Tim to be in, sure, but his ability to comfort Steph is tainted by how he maintains the illusion that he had no clue this was going to happen to Steph, instead of the truth: he had clear advance warning.

And then in Robin #120, the tables are turned.

Now. I’m not really saying this was karma for him lying to Steph. But I’m also not not saying that.

But, I mean, Steph is comforting him, commiserating with his pain and mentioning her own shitty similar experiences and Tim Drake just sits there, seemingly trying to change the subject and ignoring entirely the (albeit unintentional) role he played in that particular mind game.

He should feel a little shitty about that, and I’m not sorry for saying it. He should feel guilty in that moment.

Almost certainly not Lewis’s intention, by the way, but I’ll read into whatever. I will say that no matter what, the parallels between GK37 and Robin #120 and definitely there, and I assume there for a reason.

[high-qualitymoron]

Deep Space Discounts trailer breakdown? i guess?

In celebration of episode 1 releasing next week! (can you believe it guys? dsd, just a week away! /reference) it’s really just my thoughts on stuff in order it appears. but there are quite a few thoughts so Long Post Warning!!

‘congratulations!’ from previous video, 'deepblueink gets blackmailed.' idk how i didnt notice that sooner lol

I assumed deedee's head was a robot head and they're a robot, but i also noticed that it has what seems like an opening around the neck, so it might be a helmet of some sort. idk

INCARCERATION ALTERNATIVE PROGRAM in all caps, obviously significant. i also have the thought that what if this is in universe. because i think it'd be funny

the scribbly thought bubble. deepblueink moment

deedee looks at camera when thought bubble says deep space discounts. idk if that’s important or anything but i noticed it!

Deedee is so suspicious. they are most definitely evil. However. they are also wearing a uniform. different than the others but still with the glowing armband which i assume is significant. So like, maybe they just work here too and have weird vibes?

walking scene. they all have different walks which show their personalities well and. augh i love the animation dbi did so good

shoutout to gub's arms moving more smoothly/wiggly-ly (??? in a wiggling manner) instead of normally like everyone else. because slime man

multiple shots of immy being stressed and doing weird stuff. idk what to say about this

another shot of the team walking, this time dancing! again, they all do it differently, with much personality! (except immy who is just walking normally/stressed)

but also where is clayre in the dance scene. i’m worried about them. and also who is this robot guy???

shots of characters doing stuff

clayre throws some guy across the room (good for them), gub is on drugs i think??, vee gets some sort of message from deedee and is sad after, and immy looks into space

voice actor reveals! if only i knew voice actors lol. anyway im going over all of them with the note 'its interesting that this is what they those to define the character'

immy is holding some kinda critter i think? we'll see them again later. vee is also there

vee is in... bed? to me it looks like they're lying down in bed with how they grip the thing in front of them, but its probably not. idk what it is

deedee talking to camera. guy (mannequin?) in front of deedee has 'i <3 dsd' shirt on. probably something they sell?

honestly idk what kip is doing. some weird hand motion

gub looks like they're whining about being told to do something. based on surroundings probably cleaning the bathrooms?

clayre is about to throw something again i think. they like to do that it seems

i was saying that deedee has a uniform and armband so i think they're less suspicious. yknow who doesn’t have a uniform or (visible) armband? xancis. they are also no where else in the trailer, and all they do is turn towards the camera. even more obviously evil than deedee

immy holding the weird creature-thing again. it moves a bit and others in the background have reactions. clayre and vee look pretty happy, but kip and gub seem upset

another walking loop, not on screen long enough for me to tell if it's the same one, and deedee winks at the camera

the end!

thanks for reading so much, and also sorry. my phone wasn't loading anything else one day and a whole class period with nothing to do but watch this on loop may have driven me a bit insane (positive). also um does anyone know these character's pronouns. do we have that officially anywhere? because i dont want to assume

[foursaints]

regarding your post about people feeling uncomfortable with reading certain topics i think its quite the opposite of them not realizing its not a material reality. it actually feels too close to home, a bit too real (considering we hear and read about cases every day) and you are aware that it happen to you everyday so it makes you feel uncomfortable to think about. on the other hand topics like murder, war crimes, etc. most people are alienated from them feeling safe that it wont happen to them (now thats a thing that happens only in stories) and reading about doesn't spark the same type of panic.

but also even if that wasn't the case.. what do you think its supposed to happen when somone is uncomfortable? just keep reading, shoving discomfort down their throat because of other people? Yes i understand that there are victims who have survived it and i will try my best to accommodate them and treat them in the way they want to and i will even swallow my discomfort down and read about the experience but that wont change anything. i will still be afraid of the possibility that will happen to me, i will still squirm when i hear about another case and then try to avoid in the places where i go to enjoy myself (like ao3)

also in terms of victims i imagine that as much as there are some who would like to read and write about their experience there are other who would want to distance themselves from the memory. Isn't it just preference at the end of day. why do people must be guilt tripped to to read something they dont want to.

😭 this is of the most braindead annoying messages i’ve ever received on here i’m actually almost impressed. fucking obviously i am not suggesting that CSA victims read triggering material on purpose that would be insane (💀). but my post wasn’t about victims! i was in fact complaining about emptyhead non-survivors who say things precisely like this!

1. describing murder and war crimes as literally “now that’s something that only happens in stories!” is such a glaring indictment of your worldview… these things are realities for everyone living outside of the imperial core. even within the west, if you’re a transwoman of color, if you’re a DV victim, an addict, an unhoused person, or poc and interacting with police– you are not alienated from extreme violence! it’s very real & present experience! for you to say that reading about systematized violence is “safer” because it’s “less real” especially when we are in the middle of a genocide is literally stomach churning 😭. you should go donate to winter relief for gaza and never speak up again

2. not everything is about you! perhaps this is harsh but i do believe that if you haven’t experienced csa/sa (or been close to the issue), then reading about it cannot be “triggering” to you in the same way it would be for, say, someone with actual csa ptsd. you might feel uncomfortable, but you are not in danger of having a trauma response. sensitivity is beautiful, but i think in moments like these you could stand to be a little bit braver, and a little bit more sturdy. nothing fictional can hurt you. feeling discomfort and fear at the contents of a story is not the same as real pain- it is healthy to practice experiencing these emotions through the safe medium of fiction.

so much of this ask is painfully egotistic… but in a naive, almost endearing sort of way? you dismiss others experiences with the wave of a hand: “yes victims but what about my SQUIRMING”, “but what about the mere possibility it might happen to ME”! i want to remind you that i am a csa survivor complaining about the difficulty of discussing these subjects with non-survivors, and you are a non-survivor inserting yourself into this space to ask “what about MY discomfort?”…. well! terrible, violent, undoingly horrific events happen every day! it is not helpful to act like victims of SA are somehow uniquely traumatized in some special, singularly awful way. no “type” of trauma is inherently worse than any another. people survive and recover from all kinds of experiences, and i find this beautiful & empowering, and frequently the subject of great art. it is worth confronting your own personal discomfort (💀) with that art in order to sit with and face the lived reality of those experiences. doing so will help you develop a more complex and empathetic worldview.

not everything is about you! 🙂‍↕️ the imagined possibility of your own pain should not be worth more to you than the lived reality of someone else’s. this ask was exhausting let’s all read averno by louise gluck to calm down

[cpattersonevans]

A Love Letter to My Inquisitor

As my first ever post, I felt compelled to write a love letter of sorts to my Inquisitor Lavellan. I have been playing RPGs for a long time, but have never been very good at the 'role playing' aspect. Until recently I had always played Dragon Age as a female human, struggling to make decisions that I would not make in real life. Prior to the announcement of Veilguard I had not played a DA game in probably 6 or 7 years, but to reacquaint myself with the world I decided to replay them (starting at DA2 because my computer hates DAO). This time, I was determined to play as an elf for the first time ever in Inquisition...and romance Solas for the first time ever. I enjoyed the Solas romance. I knew going in that it would not be a happy ending, but I knew nothing of how it would actually develop. I absolutely loved this playthrough. So much so, that right after I finished it the first time all the way through to the end of Trespasser, I restarted a new game to play as Lavellan again, willingly choosing to slog through each collection quest (maybe I'd finally find that one last mosaic piece - I did not). Not because I wanted to relive the romance, but because I missed HER.

In Inquisition, my Lavellan was cold and stoic at first, angry at those who blame her for something she knows nothing about...she literally woke up like this. However, she starts to show her true self to those who slowly go from mere acquaintance to respected friend. She was somewhat tactless and blunt, not having much experience interacting with the human world. She was reluctant to accept the position as leader, always asserting that she is NOT the Herald of Andraste. Seriously, how many times does she have to say this! She continues to express her anger and reluctance when the title of Inquisitor is thrust upon her. She never wanted this! She gets shit done, always focused on the task at hand. She hopes that once she fixes everything, she can go back to her old life. Oh how she was mistaken. As time went on she leaned more into her Dalish identity and enjoyed making decisions in favor of the elves (bye bye Celene). She realized that, although she never wanted to be Inquisitor, she may be able to take advantage of this opportunity for the betterment of her people. Dorian, Cassandra, Varric and Iron Bull became her besties (Sera never stopped thinking she was too elfy). As for the romance. She (me) was not attracted to Solas at first, I still found myself very much liking Cullen (had romanced him and Blackwall previously as female human). I even laughed that Cullen is probably the one people would tell her she should be with, but Solas ended up being the one she was fated to be with. Over the course of the game she realized her attraction towards him was growing. The more conversations they had, the more missions they found themselves in relying on each other to survive, they slowly grew closer and fell in love. Plus...that voice. This relationship was different than any I'd experienced in a game before. It felt like, for them, more was expressed in what wasn't said...or how it was said. I could feel the passion between them. When the break up came, she was ANGRY. I will take any chance I get to yell at Solas in Elven. But, she had a mission to complete. She was fine.

Then Trespasser came. Two years later and still the leader of a massive political organization. How did she get here? She never wanted this. She could still care less about politics. Everyone, please stop asking her about Solas. She doesn't want to talk about it. She is fine. Except...she's not. The closer they get to Solas, the more those repressed feelings come to the surface. Solas was HeLpInG us with the Qunari all along! Face palm. I hated this delulu response, but had to do it. When they finally meet face to face, turns out she's still ANGRY. Cue more angry yelling in Elven. HE SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED HER. Not understanding the full extent of his plans, she offers to help. He won't let her. She vows to save him, this isn't the only way. Bye bye hand. Angry Inquisition book drop. Bye bye Inquisition. She never wanted this.

Now comes Veilguard. I will preface that I have not read any fanfiction. I have only been a solavellan for about 4 or 5 months, so I understand this influences my perspective on how things play out in Veilguard. I had no headcannon. I had no expectations for both the Inquisitor's reappearance and the possibilities of closure. I, of course, hoped her and Solas would reunite, but also knew there was a very strong chance one or the other (or both) could die by the end of the game, because Dragon Age.

I actually liked how Lavellan was portrayed. I don't think it's fair to judge how she has lived for the past 10 years based on the few moments we have with her in the game. I don't think she sounds pathetic or sad. To me she sounds, wise, mature, and like someone who has just seen too much shit. Her voice was filled with sorrow. She has had 10 years to ponder everything that happened during Inquisition, replay every moment, every conversation had with Solas. At first she was so so angry, but over time that anger turned into understanding, then forgiveness. This is not to say that the anger is gone completely, sometimes anger reappears when we least expect it, as it often does when we mourn what was lost, but it does not drive her. Over time, she learns how to manage it, to navigate it, to accept it so that each time it hurts a little less. This is the closest they've been to catching Solas. She finds a memory statue of his. She can feel him, feel that it has something to do with him. It is after this that all those feelings, emotions, start flooding back to her. She never stopped loving him. However, the world has gone to shit. She never wanted this, but knows her title, her position, still carries some weight. She steps up to lead once more in the South. To be the person that people need her to be. She doesn't fully express her feelings about Solas until after she hears about the events that occurred in Arlathan, that he helped save Dalish elves from Elgar'nan. Hope returns, maybe, just maybe, the Solas she knew is still in there somewhere, but...she has a world to save first.

The atonement ending is a great ending. I had no expectations, but I wasn't expecting this. I don't think a game ending as ever made me cry so much. It was very cathartic. Maybe because I had played all of these games back to back then straight into Veilguard, so emotions were high.

Lavellan was never going to turn Solas from his path on her own. Her appeals to him didn't work in Trespasser, why would that be any different now? But she vowed to save him from himself, and those that knew him from the Inquisition truly believed he wanted to be stopped. That it was his pride, himself, getting in his own way. She had to try, but this time she has back up. Solas is released from his duty, he is free. She reassures him that there is another path forward, together. Sure, she could have walked in there, spewing more angry Elven at him, but she is not the same Lavellan she was 10 years ago. She is wiser more mature. This does not mean that this anger won't come up later, but she understands that this is NOT the time for that. It's not about her in this moment, it's about him. It's about saving the world. She accepts her fate. Before joining the fight in the North, she made sure all of her duties were appropriately delegated in the South. When her best friend asks her if she will be leaving again after all of this is over, her reply - "something like that." She knew. She joins her vhenan in the Fade to heal both each other and the blight. I do believe that the Fade prison will not be as bad with them together. She will help him confront his regrets and one day they will be able to leave just like Rook did (Rook's regrets honestly pale in comparison, so it will take him more time), but they will have calmed the blight in the process. Someday they will be able to travel the Fade freely and visit old friends, both spirit and corporeal.

She left the world she knew, left behind the title of Inquisitor. She never wanted this. In Trespasser, Cassandra tells her "Being Inquisitor has brought you good things. Many good things. But only a few have been by your choice. Take what happiness you can from those, and do not let them go." And she doesn't.

This turned into a long post, but all this to say...Lavellan holds a special place with me - for not only being a wonderful, bad ass, protagonist, but for finally allowing me to fully embrace the world of role playing games. I have had an amazing time going on this journey with her, one I will surely repeat many times. I love her.