#do i expect a damn thing? hell no
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its so stupid to me when someone goes up to somebody (recently in the inboxes of palestinians doing their damndest to share information about whats going on with the genocide of their own people and some of yall still cant take being spoon fed this as if its the worst thing to happen to you to just pay attention (but it happens also after any catastrophe yall just rock up to anyone you judge an affected minority be it someone of another race, culture, gender, sexuality w/e)) and you ask "well who should i vote for"
thats your choice
when you turned 18 in the us of a you gained the right to choose whoever the hell you want on the ballot for president. nobody can make you vote for somebody or withold it. you make that decision. you should be able to think for yourself. do some research and stop talking out of your ass because that is literally the least you could do.
and also you shouldn't be going to someone (especially someone who this is of he least concern of) and go "well what do you think i think i have to vote for x because *despite every atrocity they've ever comitted* theyre still better than the other guy!" because what do you want? forgiveness? you made a choice. you also just told somebody that this choice WILL AFFECT that it was the only choice available to you (even though it wasnt). and then act like they should be grateful. like you're doing them a favor.
#this isnt well worded at all its just. getting on my nerves#like sorry you want recognition for voting for the guy who will feed you poison in a three course meal#instead of in a single slice of bread?#if you're gonna do it anyways at least just do it and shut up#yall put so much more weight on these votes than there actuslly is too#esp for presidential elections#will i go vote? probably#do i expect a damn thing? hell no#systems rigged to hell. but instead of focusing on that we focus on americas next top bomber and which one we gotta endorse#biden aint get them kids out of cages#biden let the pipelines get built on indigenous lands and spoil their water#biden let abortion rights fall through#you know how many black folks were killed by police last year?#and im supposed to thank you?#fuck all that
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just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey
#fallout#fallout tv show#my art#lucy maclean#i was not expecting it to be so good but it was!! delightful#i think i like video game adaptations better when they do their own thing with it lol#such a relief to instead of seeing something regurgitated mindlessly for profit#its actually just a completely fresh story but in a familiar setting. cool balm on my skin#i guess that's where i'm at in the remake hell we all live in rn#ella purnell has the sweetest biggest eyes i've ever god damn seen
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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anyways. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc 2#tadc spoilers#tadc 2 spoilers#i was NOT expecting it to get so self-aware!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#waiting for all the pomni screenshots to come flooding in bc she was a Mood this whole episode#i love that they're leaning into her 'done-with-this-bs' attitude#letting her swear and things like that. i think it just adds to her reluctant hero vibe so much and i'm HERE FOR IT#y'all know i love my reluctant protags#OK BUT RAGATHA WITH THE FINGER GUNS WAS SO CUTE FOR NO REASON. SHE'S LIKE SLOWLY CLIMBING UP THERE ON MY LIST OF FAVES#her trying to push aside what happened to be there for pom 🥺🥺#ALSO I'M SO GLAD ZOOBLE IS OK BUT MAN I WISH THEY HAD MORE SCREENTIME#THEM BEING SOFT IN THAT ONE SCENE. GOD I HOPE THEIR CHARACTER IS EXPLORED FURTHER#i do wish they had cut down on the whole jax thing though simply because i know he's a fan fave and they wanna make the fans happy#it's just a little over the top and his presence is just kinda overwhelming. idk i still love him but i think it'll take time before i can#really see him as a more fleshed-out character#we are Not going to be talking about gummigoo because that was CRUEL.#GOD. I KNOW CAINE CAN'T HELP IT BC HE'S AN AI AND DOESN'T UNDERSTAND POMNI'S NEED FOR CONNECTION BUT DAMN. LIKE SERIOUSLY.#OK THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. FOR NOW. BUT I WILL NOT BE SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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Dread be dreading
#ughg#i usually have awful thoughts randomly popping up here or there#make me pretty anxious for a few days then i won't think about them for a while#but man i can't handle doubts suddenly resurfacing#like this monday i was listening to my last lecture and everything bad i cooked up a in the past few months hit me like a truck#couldn't even focus i was too busy internally chanting shit fuck i don't want this i made a huge mistake shit shit#i won't be able to handle all this responsibility i'm so tired this will butcher my mental health should have chosen media studies fuuuck#what was i thinking what am i gonna do help#then proceeded to distract myself with an electric outlet otherwise i might have started crying#:/#and those thoughts aren't wrong unfortunately#i love this university and the classes and the things i study#the teachers and my classmates and the kids i got to take care of#but i don't think i could do this for real#i'm not even struggling with anything i'm just scared and tired as hell#and thought i could just. power through it- like if i'm stubborn enough it won't matter that it's draining#but damn#and hell originally i came here because i wanted to teach english to kids#i guess my expectations were too high i don't feel like i've learned anything that useful this far#and turns out it won't get better#we just gonna do presentations again#to be fair i loved researching nursery rhymes but i hoped we would have... more. of that#also about media studies. chief... i crave to be there#could have picked the english specialization there too- i'm a moron. a bozo. holy shit#well. gonna go through this semester either way. because again everything i study here (almost everything) is genuinely great and useful#and perhaps i'm just in a Pit right now#the dread pit#should probably break this to my sister. somehow#random squeak
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I keep thinking of how I want to taxonomize Siffrin and Loop bc it feels significant to me that Loop and Siffrin both have inherently diverged from the same Traveler Mold they came from. But because I am like a 7 year old I keep sagely nodding to myself going "ah yes... just like mega mewtwo"
#do u understand me. do u understand my vision#they're both siffrins they are just two pathways of how the same one guy develops through their experiences in timeloops#that are the same in basic structure but different in how they affected them#so like siffrin and loop are distinct people. but they're also just branches of preloops siffrin. much like mega mewtwo x and y are distinc#but they are also mewtwo#<-(said like this is somehow profound and not stupid)#liek do you guys get me... i think loop and siffrin are very much in sync#to the point where as seen in canon it's pretty easy for loop to divine what siffrin's thinking down to the phrasing#it's really striking how much loop talks and siffrin fullass does not reply but loop keeps on rollin just fine#but fundamentally they don't think the exact same way when it comes to bigger things#like how loop never fully accepts the idea of talking to the king as something reasonable to do#or how act 4 siffrin is in their own damn world while loop is left going. Stardust what the hell are you on (morose edition)#i think it's fun to find the gaps between them#i've always thought it would be fun. in a postcanon timeskip scenario#for loop to be. flatly worse at reading siffrin than they expect to be. because siffrin has been healing and trying to get better#while loop has been becoming steadily bitter as they tried and failed to cut the rope on their own attachments as some kind of last measure#of self defense against the pain of paving over their old relationship with the party with a new name new role new personality new stardust#to exist alongsides#likewise i think it's fun if siffrin overextends his new understanding of loop as being another self and the feeling of recognition for loo#is simultaneously comforting and Tremendously grating coming from Fucking Stardust#especially if siffrin just assumes shit wrong cuz for as much as hes the only guy who can relate 2 being trapped in a timeloop for months i#was not exactly the same now was it.#isat spoilers#Sorry this is a lot of thinking outloud on a post where i call loop and siffrin mega mewtwo x and y
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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Drawing the same character may improve your art over time but nobody told me you may fall in love with a character you draw all the time 😟
#like damn thats why i am so obsessed with him i think im love with him 🤡#autism be bombing i hate u baldi 🤓#baldis basics#(although I think that's kinda obvious with the amount of things I draw about him)#the shading colors looks kind of dooky but meh what else i can do (idk how the hell colors works)#i mean the account is literally called “paper baldi” what else do you expect lol#paper baldi
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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago
#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on#how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start#can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists#can they also invent an intercating with people#in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it#how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me#it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day#but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt#like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same#i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway#am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong#and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total#it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore#it's just so ridiculous 😭😭😭 why do i even keep trying at this point#back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess#how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year#never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha#it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless
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Rant.
#I'm honest to god irritated at anyone asking me to do favors rn#like my GOD i can't have a moment to my damn self#NO i don't want to drop you off at your girlfriends house#NO i don't want to pick your son up from his mom's place#NO i don't want to take you to the store#i want to be left the hell ALONE#I'm tired of every waking moment it's just ppl coming to me or texting or calling to request something from me#and all i get in return is a hurried “thank you” with nothing else!!#I'm not expecting the world or anything but even!! maybe some gas money because I'm fucking low for the rest of the month and NEED it#maybe just for THIS FUCKING EXCHANGE TO NOT BE A CONSISTENT DAY TO DAY THING#I'm tired of my options for the day being “clean” “help this person” or “be available to help this person later”#im FUCKING help fatique im tired of being the person that helps who tf is going to help me when i need it cause it feels like fucking no one#blymi rants
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Just watched Abigail and god it was amazing I loved the scene with Abigail and Sammy dancing so much and the way the vampires died was just so awesome
#wasn’t expecting that much gore out of this so when Deans fucking head fell off damn#also wasn’t expecting the sunlight to straight up explode her arm and I loved it#I love bloody but not mean horror#like things like terrifier or the human centipede movies just feel fucking mean with the violence#but I love it when a movie manages to balance blood and guts and lightheartedness#also I love how no vamp kill was boring like no matter what they explode and it’s sick as hell#I do have to ask what was in that syringe that actually put her to sleep#and why does abigail breathe like a normal human when she’s undead? but I guess not all vamp media stops their breathing when they turn#anyways I love dumb fun horror#madurday night live
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If it isn't about you then why are you bothered.
If you agree to no genocide why would you be bothered by me saying no to genocide?
If you agree to no apartheid why would you be bothered by me saying no apartheid?
If they do not represent you, why are you bothered?
Which part are you exactly upset about?
Are you upset that I criticize those matters, or that I am criticizing you for justifying those matters?
What is it you believe in anyway?
#rhetorical questions for the idiots who neglect to read a single damn thing#i post resources that i have read having good faith in interested readers that they too will read#dId YoU KnOw?!11!? girl i literally brought the topic up and provided the sources what the hell more do you fuckin want?#literally READ. spend less time blahblahblahing and read for fucking comprehension. yall drive me up the wall with the foolishness#but then again idk what i expect from tuumblr dot com.#I'm not going to let you dominate the conversation if it's not about you :)
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Kamen Rider Geats episode 31 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:
#kamen rider geats#kamen rider geats poorly summarized#kamen rider geats ep 31#hello hello im back on my bs#and can i just say i have ZERO clue how theyre resolving this arc#really no damn idea#also tho the catholic jokes write themselves this episode#heaven? hell? a god who judges on arbitrary will unknown to us?#sorry did i miss geats and somehow end up back in sunday school?#also a man sacrifices his flesh for his son too#“this is my body eat of it and you shall live”#anyways#also surprised how they revealed info vital to both ace and keiwa this ep#wasnt expecting there to be such a clinical reason behind the death of his parents tbh#also poor keiwa#he was relevant to the plot but at what cost AT WHAT COST#still have no idea what they plan on doing w buffa#we gonna bring up that turning into a jyamato thing or...?
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sometimes i look at brazilian news and i want to cfvgbhjn@!#¨%$3
#/#//#///#txt#tbh i feel like this about a lot of things#but i want to scream!#to scream!!#a whole state under FUCKING WATER#PEOPLE ARE DISPLACED THEY HAVE LOST EVERYTHING#and those damned liberal politicians don't fucking want to implement things that would prevent scenarios like these#no no#its exploit exploit exploit exploit exploit#brazil has potential!! how could we dare stop exploiting it's natural resources!! /sarcasm#but what do i expect from people who don't give a damn about destroying indigenous villages or quilombos or#may they burn in hell and may they never have peace on earth#percy talks
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