#do i care? do i look like do

[arthurtaylorlester]

Hey you tagged that post abt John liking fizzy drinks? This is your excuse to talk as much about that as you want

... you have unleashed something in me

now typically you'd say "but red! harlan says john doesnt like eating!"

and to you I say:

a) respectfully, harlan mightve made these guys but the moment I started the podcast they became my little guys. john likes fizzy drinks

b) i think john doesnt enjoy eating simply because he cannot taste food.

and when he tries fizzy drinks for the first time, with his own body, oh boy it makes him feel more alive than yknow doin human stuff with arthur

picture this:

john has a body that looks mostly human. he's finally dragging arthur to see snow white and the seven dwarves. but oh? what's this arthur? food? in a movie theater? but won't the chewing noises be too loud? what did you say, it's part of ✨️experience✨️, oh well than we have to get some!

sadly for john, arthur does not warn him that sodas are very carbonated, as I call them are functionally spicy juice, and john curses out a little bit too much when he drinks and they don't get to watch snow white bcs they get kicked out :(

so he develops an intense distaste for fizzy drinks until one night arthur drags him to the bar because john! you forced me to watch a movie, which insensitive by the way, and then got us publicly kicked out really its the least you could do

and so he goes, because no one has ever said no to arthur, and there arthur makes him try yet another human abomination: alcohol. except this is 10000x times worse than the sodas, it has no twang! it's just bitter water that could possibly burn your throat and ruin your liver!

arthur, having grown up during the prohibition, took a fancy to it simply for the novelty but john wouldn't stand for such unpleasant human creations, he used to be the fragment of a powerful god after all

and so he orders a coke, which yknow yeah maybe sucked at the movies, but it was less sad then ordering water. but oh! wait this, this is actually not all that bad, if you know what to expect, it's sweet but not sickeningly so, and leaves a quietly pleasant feeling in your stomach and arthur what other drinks like this are there?

so yes maybe, arthur and john end up ordering almost every fizzy drink at the bar, cotton club, dr peppers, pepsi (after this john started the pepsi vs coke debate die mad about it) you name it they drank it.

and if they also got a little bit drunk and looked just a little bit insane ordering all those drinks to the bar-goers, well that was how things always ended with them anyways

next time! why john is an avid guitar player and arthur is probably a dog person with a cat personality!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[secretly-a-trekkie]

they deserved a beach episode

[marzipanandminutiae]

what's with the weird glorification of smoking that's come back lately

like

I've seen so many posts that paint opposing smoking as some impossibly Loser-ish or puritanical stance and I really don't get it

it makes you, your house, and your clothing stink, destroys your teeth, and gives you lung cancer. opposing it is. Correct. obviously addiction is very complicated and quitting can be hard, but just saying "smoking is gross and harmful as a practice (including vaping)" is True and Right actually

some of you have never grown up hearing about how some beloved family member died a slow, agonized, wasting death of smoking-induced cancer, or watching it firsthand for yourself, and it shows

[squidsmeister]

dungeon meshi is my favorite road-trip comedy film

[angstflavoured]

i think too many people misinterpret what i mean when i say i ship billford. like no, i do not want them to be together happily eventually. i dont even want them to be together. the ship so goddamn toxic that there is only misery and old broken remnants of feelings and longing for something that couldve been but never will be. they will never be happy in each others lives and i want to keep it that way. dont get it twisted thinking im just shipping cute little yaoi and i want them to kiss in canon. no. this is something much deeper and intimate and painful. this aint my first Toxic Old Man Yaoi rodeo and it wont be my last. there is no happiness here.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[hinamie]

some quick jjk eye paintings

[umblrspectrum]

friendly pal buddy copy of mine told me uzi would legally need a booster seat so i imagine the bus is like this

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[charl3st0n]

science team designs from between lessons

[keferon]

Biblically accurate Blurr~

Blurr's Spotlight was actually the very first Transformers comic I ever read. I remember looking at the first pages and being like, holy shit, dude why are you so ugly?? Ahahjcmgmg

[choccy-milky]

sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )