#do a hard-reset on my brain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
all of my Symptoms are so loud rn
#i HATE my time of the month every single sense/symptom of autism/ocd ive got is suddenly 100 TIMES WORSE#i cannot wear anythign that isn't soft any more#food??? awful#NOISES TOO LOUD#AND I FEEL SO UPSET AT ALL TIMES#my rsd (rejection sensitvity) is SOOOO BAD rn#im so buggy rn that i dont wanna talk to anyone/start a conversation#but my brain is taking the lack of conversation/positive affection SO BADLY. SO SO BADLY.#head in hands#i need to sentence myself to watching like shows intended for 3 -6 year olds for like 3 hours or something#do a hard-reset on my brain
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
sad? simply reset your brain with cursed energy to make them go away!
#i was thinking with how he fucks w his brain maybe he deadass hard resets himself sometimes which is so fucked up to think abt#and tals mentioned he fries his brain so often that like MAYBE#MAYBE HE REALLY DOES CTRL+ALT+DEL AND RESTART#normally id tell him to go to therapy but hed make a therapist worse babygirl do NOT go to therapy#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#my art#anywaay enjoy my like 15 minute scribble meme of this
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi, i just found this blog and was reading back on your current submas au. you say you dont like others giving ideas for the au, but unless i missed a post you didnt seem to make it clear any point before getting upset that you didnt like those types of messages or that you already had the story planned out. maybe you should make a post about this being an already written story your releasing bits at a time and not a wip au?
As I see it, that post is a version of that post that you mention. It wasn't an immediate issue, only cumulative because (at current and at time of that ask being sent) there was a larger volume of those kind of asks than there normally are when I start sharing an au that operates the way I'm operating this one: letting people ask questions about things that they are interested in learning about in the au rather than trying to tell a linear story.
So. As it stands, that answer stands as that post. I love questions about my aus. I just ask a bit of consideration on whether or not your ask comes off as simply throwing what-if scenarios at me without considering what I am at all doing with the au. It doesn't feel great.
I guess this post stands as a declaration of what Brothers' Starter is.
#ask raisans#brothers starter au#well making this post made me not good#alas#Just been a bad week overall methinks#I need to do a hard reset on my brain. eat ethiopian food with the family.#so sorry to keep saying this but forgive me if I am coming across as terse or frustrated. I am. Again. Exhausted from. So much. So very muc#I hope I can get back to getting some more stuff done about brothers starter#for now I am just trying to relax with my silly little cafe remix fellas#they make me happy and I am loving drawing them right now :)
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
-
#having flashbacks which are a PAIN ij the ass esp when its like. onlyabout a second. its like someone repeating a 1 second video over n over#except i can feel it bc very vivid flashbacks so its just awful disorientinf and annoying#like drawing and cleaning help quiet it but right now jts at that point where its just constant and idk what to do#like my brain is jsut jumpscaring me w memories from 15+ years ago that i otherwise do Not. remember bc of fun cptsd symtpom calld uh#dissociative amnesia or smthn? idk i just dont rememver anything but im beginning to remember it all at once#and its actually pretty terrible rn. mostly the lower back pain thts coming with it n the headaches#but its ok i have weed and therapy my brains judt kinda having a hard reset i think#im normal and fine actually#frank.txt#delete later
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Getting into the "what if it never gets better" trap
#telling myself it's my med change that's making it so so bad#i will get through this haze i better not have fought this hard in vain#doing really really bad#i got better briefly! briefly!!#the general state of the world is not helping what is already a grrimmmmm situation#ill eat a klonopin & hope it resets me by the time i wake up#then i get some god damn healthcare tomorrow#what is the POINT of all this agonizing to get my brain a millimeter closer to 'better'#i am so fucking tired#i'll stick it out i fucking Guess#probably was smart of me to ask for all the potentially dangerous household objects to be hidden away huh#ggghhhhhhhhhhhhh don't go insane challenge#vent#txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got a little done
#the urge to disappear off the face of the eartn and only return once im absolutely cracked at art and animation is so strong rn#anyone wNt to invire me over so i can drink all of your alcohol and leave#i need to do a hard reset on my brain#my rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Welp, I can safely say that October and Halloween have been ruined for me. I envy everyone who can actually look forward to the festivities because my heart is just not in it this year :/
#vent#it's been a shitty month and I'm not looking forward to the future#we still have stray cats we need to catch#work is kind of a shitshow and the encroaching holiday rush is not helping#my friend has been in the hospital on a ventilator for days and i still don't know what exactly is wrong with him besides fluid in his lungs#(he's gonna be okay but I'm still worried sick)#the election is looming and I can't even begin to think about the future of our country right now#and just to top it all off i got a jury summons#I'm just waiting to get in a car accident or get covid or get screamed at by a customer#it's been the type of shitty month that makes me wish i could just stop existing for awhile#I've been going between longing for a nice day trip into nature to reset and just straight up wanting to die#and i get that most of this doesn't sound that bad but with my GAD and social anxiety on top of my depression it's all too much#the worst part is this guilt complex that's been eating at me#I'm convinced I'm a bad evil person who should die horribly and it's hard to recover from that when it's constantly playing in my head#I will never ever be good enough and it fucking hurts#it doesn't matter what sort of evidence there is otherwise#somehow someway my brain will convince me that it's fake and that I'm horrible and should kill myself#all i can do these days is play video games and try not to think about anything
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
well i guess i can play bg3 now, assuming it finishes downloading sometime in the next 2 months
#personal#despite following many people who are very into it i still know absolutely nothing about what it's about#like i know the premise of the brain tadpoles but that's it#i definitely need to do something fun after the last few days of supervising peach#(update: after not eating or sleeping for 3 days she is now doing both! she's very hungry and very tired and im very relieved)#but also after the last 6 hrs of just non-stop downloading and installing things. windows is sooo bad for upgrading#all the dai dlc probably has another 20-30 mins left and then ive finished all the da games and also all my modding tools#i think im actually not bothered even transferring my old saves for the da games. i never go back once ive finished a playthrough#i guess the only thing is if i wanna play da2 before next playing dao and have to use a custom worldstate hm#the only other thing is that dao doesnt connect online anymore so i have no achievements or rewards for completing dlc#it wouldnt be too hard to find my user profile file on my old hard drive but i almost wanna start from scratch and see how long it takes#the thing with that tho is that it's probably the worst (or maybe best lmao) game to have my achievements reset#because it takes a minimum of 6 playthroughs to get all achievements (assuming you finish every game you start)#for da2 it's 3 (reach kirkwall with each class) and for dai it's 1#but dao has an achievement for each origin and even other than that there are achievements for filling each ability tree#(min 5 playthroughs of the base game or 3 with awakening) and all romances (4) and all endings (3 i think)#anyway. whatever i'll decide later. the only utility of achievements are the dlc ones that unlock items#huh this is a post about bg3 and i spend most of the time talking about da#anyway bg3 currently says 2 hrs remaining but that'll probably speed up once the dai dlc finishes. only have trespasser left#and whatever tf 'english voice over pack' is??
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think my problem is that everything always comes back to danny phantom with me
#-_-#is it a problem? maybe. do i care? not really.#is it unhealthy? also maybe. am i going to talk about it? absolutely not. unless i get shitfaced drunk#which. actually might fix me a little. just to get suuuuper fucked up and talk about all my brain shit.#why i have such complicated relationships with a lot of things that i genuinely enjoy. head in hands.#i need 2 do like. a hard reset on my brain tonight. im thinking too many things in too many differen directions#i just need to lock onto ONE THING to focus on. but theres so much#iiiiis tonight a good night to eat the microwave pancakes. what do u think.#i do have work in the morning and cannot call off without leaving my coworker on a solo day. so . hmmmm maybe not#i was going 2 stream dredge again tomorrow. and then maybe after that.#who knows. i need that shit out of my freezer though so i stop looking at it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is genuinely so sick and fucked up that there is nobody around to play with my hair and/or pet me right now.
#whines. wails even. the world is fucked up and evil.#would like to get pet and perhaps get my neck scruffed to just do a hard reset on my brain real quick.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would like to stop obsessing about the dumb thing where i was scolded a little for being distracted but its a tangible single thing my brainworms can latch onto instead of the many many other shit things in the background that are objectively way worse or scarier
#i'll admit like yeah my bad i goofed for a bit#its just ... hard to keep an eye on that sometimes when theres a lot of junk going on#and its not a strong point anyway ... i need to constantly keep an eye on my lack of an internal clock and its exhausting#like it really doesnt matter either but the brain being a turd abot it is ALSO exhausting#s i g h s#i just need a little 'reset focus' reminder every so often but its like ..#having that be a formal thing is hard without a piece of paper saying you have brainbonk#its why i chose to apply for a physically engaging job rather than office shit yknow#staring at documents all day makes me want to scream lol#its also just irking me that there was yknow ... 'lol now we'll have to find you something to do' comments#because for someone who doesnt DO data entry im pretty speedy in the zone#my brain just did a giant yawn and needed to reset targets without me noticing#idk i wanna eject it from my brain but it WONT LEAVE#rory's ramblings
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can’t figure out what I want to make, so....tell me about your OCs! Or your DND characters! Or the theme of your nursery that a baby quilt would go with?
#my brain is spinning out a bit and cannot focus on what to make next#I might make a dollhouse armchair?#I still should not be doing any woodworking so maybe cardboard???#idk that I should be using glue right now either though#I tried to do a hard reset of my brain by hitting the punching bag for a while but either the dust of the cold started me wheezing again#so. not that! maybe emrboidery???#this is like when you are craving a specific food but can't figure out what food it is#but with crafts! I can tell I want to make something but idk what#maybe I'll finish off one of my quilt tops
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’ve run out of interesting things to say can you guys tell
#i feel like i’ve been repeating myself a lot lately#but that’s just kinda how my brain is 👍#i feel one big feeling for like a month and then i do a hard reset and start over
6 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Pick a side, it’s the same coin (Patreon)
#Doodles#I've been drawing myself less lately :0 I'm not sure why exactly - I can take a guess but hmm!#I mean I've also been doodling less overall lately which tends to happen between events haha#But I'm still doodling /some/ things just Sona Classic less#I usually draw myself (and Bar) when I'm poorly but I've been doing kinda good this year so far actually :0#Not a Huge uptick or anything but noticeable! Probably calculable hmmmm that might be some fun data to crunch on lol#I do have my moments of course lol#First just a casual complaint about my hair I need a haircut I always need a haircut I want a haircut I'm gonna get one#Especially before it gets hot egh#I've got swoopies as like bed-hair and resting while my hair's wet lol#It switches sides! How does it do that#Bad Mood Brain - had one recently too#At least they only last about a day lately! Sleep-reset and the next day is better :)#Still hard to slog through the low days tho |P But I've had 100% success so far lol#Finishing up a page and ran out of toner again lol - just on the energy side it's easier to just draw the lines and not worry about it#Finishes the page quicker! Much better lol#And finally the big'n#I had maybe thought that I'd been unduly ignoring [Purple Text] for a while but a year?? Damn#They're still fun to draw - rude#Wings man#Really playing up the manic side of the low moods - it's a coin toss it's just a matter of taking inventory of which side to approach from#They at least give the alternate perspective - I don't have to like them but they are good at it
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
computer define underdog
#bluebird.txt#google search how to explode my brain with hammers to reset into a functional normal person#how fucking hadd is it to be perfect it's not that hard. you just have to do everything!#but you can never do everything. sometimes you can't even do one fucking thing.#and time moves forward so quickly. go back i didn't do it right. i need to try again. i can be perfect this time i promise.#and i can't but i can and then i can't again but i can't but i can't BUT ITS NOT THAT HARD#HOW HARD COULD IT POSISBLY FUCKING BE!!!!!!#just do it. it's not hard you can just od it. if's not rhat hRd.#JUST FUCKING DO IT#but you can't. even though it's so fucking easy. look at everyone around you doing it and they don't give half as many shits as you do#you're fighting for your fucking life tryi to come out on top and everyone's on too sipping their drinks complaining that it's a little hot#today#what i would give to feel like it was easy. what i constantly give that never feels like enough#but i will say#one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me#was my professor telling me ghat a grad student told her they wished they'd been like me when they were younger#and another two grad students just last week going out of their ways to tell me i did a good job#when that 'good job' felt so shitty i went to the bathroom to suck in my tears bc my day still wasn't fucking over#life is never over it just keeps going and you get up and you get up and you keep going and it's hard and annoying and i'll never be perfec#and i don't think i'll ever- apart from those brief glimpses people give me of what they truly think- ever see myself. i can only ever see#the mirror#or the inside of my eyes#but i'll never see myself as i am#so maybe i don't have to freak oht?#maybe i should just sleep#time to go listen to vienna and cry more maybe#i'm fine. i'm just tired and lazy and tirada en mi cama and can't reach my journal from here. el oh el.#save me help me. i want to feel peace. i can't wait to be older. i can't wait to find my way.#please.
0 notes