moomindreamboy

[moomindreamboy]

Alice Herbst - Obstructed View, 2024 - Oil and oil pastels on acrylic primed canvas

[moomindreamboy]

So pissed bc the longer I practice embracing the Way I Am I'm realizing I am. so autistic/ADHD brain haver & I have been this whole time but not even my autistic dad acknowledged it so I just grew up with the idea that I was a freak fjadswoeafja

[moomindreamboy]

If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway.  Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free.  Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity.  You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find.  Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.”  As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries. 

you can read or listen to the full piece for free here

[moomindreamboy]

Having a Tdick is so fascinating (that's one way to put it) because now I know what it feels like to have a random uncomfortable boner when I've no reason to be horny, among all the downsides of having a uterus,

[moomindreamboy]

It worked again

listening to Welcome to the Black Parade instantly solves like 50% of my problems

[moomindreamboy]

Weird double whammy world where I fight ridiculous battles to gain a flicker of feeling worthy/willing to Live, but it's like my personal progress is an inverse graph of how astronomically shitty and vile the world at large continues to become

[moomindreamboy]

Speed round: reasons to live

[moomindreamboy]

Getting into the "what if it never gets better" trap

[moomindreamboy]

[moomindreamboy]

listening to Welcome to the Black Parade instantly solves like 50% of my problems

[moomindreamboy]

[moomindreamboy]

Is it a common experience to like, feel some level of grief as I notice my fixations shifting?

[moomindreamboy]

Note to self: indulge in old comfort movies to regain connection with prev versions of myself

+ also just enjoyable lol

[moomindreamboy]

I am doing Bad

[moomindreamboy]

jude do NOT let recent painful interpersonal experiences color the rest of the people in the world as bad uncaring etc challenge

[moomindreamboy]

note to self never date again for until I'm 40

[moomindreamboy]