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art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you
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I think about this drawing every single time I'm doing something badly. Whatever I am doing, at least I'm not destroying things.
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Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists
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walking for an hour is a such factory reset for when you want to kill yourself shoes on coat on hands in your pockets and keep it moving playa
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hope isn’t something you just have, it’s something you sink your teeth into like an animal so it doesn’t get away
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Decided to revisit my fav band from my born-again christian era & having such a weird feeling realizing how damaging christianity was to my psyche and also how my faith carried me through an incredibly painful adolescence. ??.
#dialectics i guess#my belief system is so crazy different now. i guess it was nice having some grand religious philosophy to hold onto#i can respect the place that this specific brand of Enlightened Christianity comes from and also disagree with core christian doctrine#it's. interesting i suppose#listening to some old fav songs & finding myself strongly resonating and then strongly disagreeing with like every other line#i firmly reject the concept of default sin as a condition of existing#i do think i need a dose of spirituality combined with like. DBT. to sustain mental health#i am repelled by the word faith but perhaps another word for this concept is wonder#i dont think theres a Savior who can absolve us of Sin or whatever. i do believe in the polar powers of kindness & hatred#what am i even talking about#is it less about turning to a prophetic savior figure and more about turning away from hopelessness.?#less about the power of some arbitrary higher being and more about connecting with the power that exists innately within ourselves#and each other#the willingness to recognize and let go of the needless burdens weighing us down#Without self punishment for conditions that exist outside of our control. this is where i won't budge & i guess separates my beliefs
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you can never please everybody. when you stand up for yourself, there will be people who think you’re overreacting or being a jerk. when you try your best to be kind to everyone you meet, there will be people who think you’re being fake or that you desperately want to be liked. you won’t ever be able to be the best version of yourself if you live for other people, because that ‘best version’ is entirely subjective and therefore impossible to embody. be your personal best, your personal favorite, and you’ll attract people who will see you that way as well.
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Chat I think my treatment might be working
#logging for later even as i feel my stomach sink from even acknowledging the prospect of getting a little better#isnt that interesting?#txt
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#mad abt how much this man influenced my gender in high school#i listened to so much sufjan stevens in high school im suf'd out for life
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Did you seriously just allow the seed of cruelty to sprout
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