#do NOT percieve from when that ask was

[hehearse]

its been a hot minute since i dropped any songs in here but im plagued with jinjae thoughts. I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry. significantly more,,, fluffy and lighthearted than id usually pin them as but. hyunjae pov,,,, "With simple songs I wanted more, perfection is so quick to bore." etc,,,, could also apply to quite frankly everyone with kim dokja imo. and kim dokja with everyone. Illness Has Overtaken Me

do i even need to say anything here.

and i understand you.... the visions haunt me too....

shj is so easy to put here, you're so right. bored out of his mind, stuck in the loop of going through the same life again and again, and then. yoojin happens. adding an unfamiliar tune to his life. how exciting, how addictive must it be...... head in hands.......

as for kdj....... sobbing some more while we're at it.

[suffarustuffaru]

I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms

yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.

anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).

but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.

im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)

whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.

of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.

otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.

[seaweedstarshine]

You know that time in the comics when the Doctor is so depressed, he shuts off the lights, turns on an interrogation spotlight, locks himself in the console room, and argues with a bunch of judgmental shadow-figures resembling his past incarnations?

And all the TARDIS' lights go out and her interior becomes a maze to keep his companions out of the console room, all from her psychic connection with the Doctor (“moodbleed”)?

And his companions are left wandering in circles for two days as the air goes “stale,” not knowing where he is but thinking the worst, while he hallucinates in a dark room?

...because I'm thinking again about the times this definitely happened when he was with the Ponds.

[spotaus]

hold on i just realized

spotaus

spotAUS

I thought it was like. Spotaus. as one word. in my head im like 'oh hey spot-ayt-us just reblogged something'

how did i never realize it was spot aus asfgajfsdbgjhd

Hehehehe~ >:3

When I was first making all my side-blogs I chose that name for that exact reason, my friend! (<- I am a person who regularly mis-reads/mis-pronounces urls that are built like this- I thought the alternate ways of saying it were fun!)

Feel free to continue reading it however you like, haha! Sorry you got caught in my silly lil trap! <3

[soft-serve-soymilk]

help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭

[mars-ipan]

btw i was Really Smart in communications today :]

[dandy-lad]

.

[neo--queen--serenity]

Marcille is actually one of the biggest reasons it took so long to pinpoint which Chilchuck was the imposter in today’s episode.

The Senshi and Marcille imposters had their own reasons for being hard to decipher, but that was a joint effort on the party’s part. Chilchuck was the only example where a single member’s bias actually swayed the others so strongly that it made them all doubt themselves.

Ryouko Kui did an excellent job of giving us a rich background on how different races interact, and how they may descriminate against each other. Each of the races in this series struggles with these prejudices. Our main characters are not exempt from this, and we see it clearly in the way the shapeshifter manifested as each party member, showing us how the others percieve them.

Marcille knows Chilchuck well, and cares deeply for him as a friend. But she’s not immune to assumptions and biases that come from her elven background. The Chilchuck imposter we are faced with, when it’s down to two of them left, is Marcille’s memory of Chilchuck, Marcille’s perception of how he behaves.

One of the first manifestations of this bias occurs when shapeshifter Chilchuck can’t get a jar open.

The real Chilchuck knows that this would never happen—at least not in this way. Chilchuck is proud, yes, but he asks for Laios’ help all the time. Laios is actually one of the party members he is the most likely to ask help from, given how long they’ve known each other, and how much mutual trust exists between them.

However, the whole scenario isn’t right. Chilchuck wouldn’t give up so easily on opening something; his whole job is opening and unlocking things. He would never quit an attempt like this within 5 seconds, then run to Laios so that “big strong adult tall-man” can open it for him.

Marcille is the one who asks, “Huh? Why do you say that?” because Marcille is partially right. Chilchuck does rely on Laios, and Marcille knows this to be true. But she fails to realize how he relies on Laios.

Chilchuck respects many of Laios’ talents, but the most important ones are his combat skills, his emotional fortitude, and his quick thinking when delegating tasks. He trusts Laios as someone he is comfortable following (he literally said to him and Shuro in the last episode: “Laios!! Tell us what do!! Give us orders!!” when chimera Falin was quickly overpowering them).

So while Marcille almost understands Chilchuck’s confidence in Laios, she tends to accidentally infantilize him in the process.

She immediately believes that Chilchuck B (the imposter, who is specifically using her own memory as its base for Chilchuck’s personality) is the real one, and says so, because she’s blinded by her perception of him as being childlike and adorable because of the very common racial prejudices that half-foots deal with all the time.

She dotes on the imposter, and is open with her affections, as usual (again, her care for him is clear), but doubles down on that bias, on her own assumptions of Chilchuck’s behavior shown through her own lens.

And ultimately, Laios was able to tell the difference, but only because he watched how the Chilchucks handled other minute tasks. Marcille’s stance on which Chilchuck was real truly did throw the others for a loop, at least until the threat passed. And honestly, that’s part of what makes the shapeshifter so terrifying. Its strategy almost worked.

[speedyowl152]

Desperately holding myself back from replying to posts bashing certain ships in the main tags of shows.

Op isn't there to listen or have a good experience with fandom theyre just there to salt.

[femd-archive]

cw: nsfw/nsft

ken sato, the baseball star that everyone adores! well...almost everyone.

he always shows himself tall and confident, arrogant for most people. he makes thousands of people swoon with a single wink or one of those filtry smiles with his pearly teeth.

that makes you wonder, how many of his fans would percieve him if they ever saw their biggest idol in this way.

on his knees, half naked and looking up at you like you're the one hanging the stars in the sky. there was, ken sato. you smile back at him and reach one of your hands to cup the side of his face. ken leans on it, shutting his eyes peacfully as he melts into your touch.

his big hands are caressing your bare legs with the most care. like you were a goddess to worship. when your hand moves to his hair, he leans his head on your lap, pressing his cold cheek -the one you didn't touch- on your warm skin.

"are you tired, kenji?" you ask, your hand traveling once again, now to the broad of his exposed back, and making circular motions around his skin, listening to the way his breath got steady.

"i'm never tired for you, baby" he answers in the sweetest tone, contrasting his husky voice that he uses to talk in interviews. he props his chin on your thigh to look up at you with those pretty puppy eyes and his cute smile.

your heart swells with love for him. dragging your thumbs through his cheekbones, both of you get lost in each others eyes for a little, before you whisper. "come here" and he obeys. standing from the floor, he takes a seat besides you on the expensive couch, and smiles into your lips as you drag him in for a kiss.

the kiss gets more heated with every second, and your hands started to caress his body until they're found inside ken's trousers.

it didn't take long before the room was filled with his moans as you stroke him fast and steady. he keeps on holding you, kissing you desperately as you were going to disappear. "please baby" he whimpered against your lips, slightly thrusting his hips into your closed fist.

"wanna cum, kenji?" you ask, nonetheless, smiling when he desperately nods. "do it baby. make a mess for me" he moans before kissing you again, finally allowing himself to release thick ropes of cum that end un shooting on his bare chest.

while he regulated his breathing, you placed kisses along his chest, giving sweet caresses to his waist with your thumb. he speaks. "can we make love?" he asks with those begging eyes.

"but-"

“I don't have any training stuff or games tomorrow” he replied before you even asked, and then flashed one of his charming smiles. "please?" he insists and you sigh.

like all his fans, you can't help but fall for his charms. but unlike them, only you can see the great ken sato cry from pleasure.

pretending like i didn't cry like a baby...

[sweetlady555]

QUICK SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS^_^

Venus 1H Synastry is nooo joke aside from the strong very obvious chemistry and attraction, if you or them identify as straight yall could literally turn gay for each other 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤣

Moon 1H Synastry is NAWTTT for the avoidants 😔!!! House person could really depend on moon person for validation and theres so much hidden things in this relationship like secrets and resentment </3 this could depend on the entire chart though!!! the good cute side though is that you both could lowkey have feelings for each but never telling each other because you both just know…

Mars 1H Synastry is lowkey so attractive like aside from the strong physical attraction, mars will literally do anything to please or meet house persons needs or desires 😭 i told this guy who had his mars in my 1h that i really liked his paintings and if he could make one for me and that boy had his gloves and canvas out the next hour😭🤣

Mars 8H Synastry not gonna lie i know some of yall be loving mars in the 8h synastry but this synastry placement irked me ouwwttttt overtime😭 as house person in this situation mars person was FEINING for me he was a real freakazoid like the freakiest of them all he was basically FERAL and i was chill with it for a few months but it seemed like thats all he wanted to do and its like can we just talk tonight❤️? Mars will not understand this because theyll percieve almost anything house person does as provocative and sexually enticing but this could go for both of you guys so idk🥴

Pluto 7H Synastry is cute at first because pluto will be so infatuated and interested in house person, youll notice pluto person will be the first to look at your stories without even following you sometimes and its like aw they must rly like me imma let them be :) but behind the scenes theyre checking your social media almost 24/7 looking at all your interactions online and probably will lowkey start stalking all of ur friends too 😭 the pluto person will do this without house person knowing (if theyre sneaky enough) feeling the need to anticipate the house persons actions or feelings … “i just wanna talk and conversate cause I usually just stalk and yk masturbate and I finally got the courage to ask you on a date so if you say yes, let the future fall into place, cunt” (she by tyler the creator resembling pluto 7h synastry👀👁️)

North Node 2H Synastry is lowkey cute in a way bc this is a “i gotta get rich” after looking at house person once😭! north node will literally see house person as this rare beautiful diamond that they wont wanna lose and they will let house person know about this too! but this is just the good side of this placement bc this could also lead to self worth issues feeling like u guys arent worth each other leading to insecurities showing out in this relationship🤬

Uranus 10H Synastry is lowkey a shocker to house person from my experience when it came to a certain career path, in my case fashion, uranus really changed my perception on it 😭 showing me the true reality of the fashion world and its like uhhh idk if i wanna do this anymore☺️! but at the same time uranus person could really be inspiring to house person because of how unconventional and unique they are! i also noticed uranus person could really influence house person to be unconventional and unique aswell! house person could go thru a lot of sudden changes with uranus person when it comes to their career and how they end up being percieved in person or online if this relationship ends up being public.

Sun 2H Synastry is nice to have with someone because sun person will motivate house person to improve in any area of their life they will be on you too (for good obviously)😖😩 Sun person will wanna see house person thrive financially and just in general giving house person opportunities for this. There is potential jealousy on both sides mostly house person because of achievements, wealth and values literally can be anything 😣

[boypussylegendary]

I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HYUN JU (player 120) FROM SQUID GAME!!!

I don't mean to project onto her but oh my lord the trans experience that I see portrayed through her hits so hard. Every behavior she does I can recognize because I feel the same damn thing. Spoilers ahead!!!

Talking about mirrors first, every time we see her in a mirror she's fixing her hair, like in the scene where everyone's taking pictures, plays with her hair to make it frame her face in a way she deems more feminine. She does the same thing in the bathroom scene, she messes with her bangs while she stares at the mirror with a defeated expression on her face. Her obsession with her appearance is subtle but so relatable especially in a trans context, she probably doesn't mean to hyperfocus on it but she can't help it!! When you're trans your outer appearance is the quickest way to convey your identity to this world and when it doesn't align with who you are inside, people start to assign an identity to you that is innacurate and uncomfortable. I'm on episode five and so far they've managed to convey that without saying it which I find very impressive. Though that detail probably requires context and lived experience.

The next thing is the hackey sack game, it was the kicking one in the rainbow race room or whatever, episode five. She explains it later but when she asked everyone to look away, it wasn't just performance anxiety, it was a fear of being percieved. I know from experience that it's almost impossible to do anything in front of a crowd when you're visibly trans because all you can focus on is what everyone else is thinking. Using myself as an example, I can hardly sing in front of a crowd, I'm a theatre kid, I've been to karaoke nights, I love to sing but despite that it's terrifying to do for me because all I can think about is other people's thoughts, "Isn't that the trans kid? They look like shit, why do they dress like that? They're hair looks awful, why can't they just be normal?" It paralyzing sometimes. Back to Hyun ju, she literally has everyone turn away because she can't focus on a life threatening game if she's percieved like that, and she explains that in the episode!! And she's not totally wrong either!! The older woman literally says she's unsightly in the previously mentioned camera scene, and she is turned away by groups of men in the rainbow race game because of how she looks!! Good god I've felt that in my elective PE class in my senior year. It's exhausting and I'm so glad it's touched on because I feel like that topic is never mentioned in trans media. It's always, 'I have to make a name for myself to prove to other trans people that we can do it,' and while that's not a terrible narative, it's very noble, but it's hardly relatable and that's why I love Hyun ju. Yes she is a very noble character, she helps save a man's life in the first game, but it isn't 'in the name of young trans kids everywhere,' she can convey the trans experience without being famous.

[bestlilithian]

Home is the first grave.

[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]

tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)

- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood

- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones

- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born

- feeling peacful in graveyards

- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)

- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming

- your household was always a house , never a home

- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)

- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)

- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)

- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.

- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)

- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up

- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)

- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary

- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")

more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die

- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)

- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it

- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back

- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother

- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother

- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful

- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out

- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')

- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child

- almost choking while crying or passing out

- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]

- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)

- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you

- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"

- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)

- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you

- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity

- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)

- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general

- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough

- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger

- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.

- you would probably kill for your loved ones

- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)

- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)

- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)

- reading people easily

- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty

- finding comfort in the cold and the dark

- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them

- its very hard to shock you

- you know when someones lying

- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)

- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits

- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media

- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding

- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.

- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age

- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully

- either loving deep waters or hating them

- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago

- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes

- home feels like literal prison

- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs

- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)

- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food

And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :

Wrong love is not love.

[getonite]

(𝟎.𝟗𝐊+) 𝐌𝐒𝐆: (OH) I DON'T GET IT, YOUR THE ONLY THING THAT I LOVE

ayanokoji kiyotaka/fem,reader ; no prns r stated, however, through desc it feels like it was meant for fem readers, kissing, cringe confession, 'ask what it means + realization' trope, reader finessing a kiss from him, + me heavily projecting my aroaceness on him.

despite his percieved outward appearance and demeanor, ayanokoji's mind is quite different. he has some semblance of the ability to feel, though he can't outwardly express it. he doesn't and has never craved human warmth or affection since his infancy.

its unnecessary, there's simply no place for it in his life. though, there are times where he wishes he could feel what others do, where he could smile like others do.

though no one has ever prompted him to start that journey. not kushida, not horikita, not even karuizawa. he wonders if he'll forever remain behind the doors of those polished white walls. that is until he feels the warmth of your hand on his arm.

those dehumanizing walls of class where he was observed like a lab rat remain fresh in his head.

reminders that his father would do anything to get his most successful product back in his grasp.

though when you give him that sweet dimpled smile he pushes it to the back of his head. never forgetting, though still on the forefront of his mind.

when you stand on the tips of your toes to reach his height, releasing him that cute little giggle. he can't help but give in . . . just a little. after all, how could he stand on his word when the person he's against is too pretty.

despite how intelligent he is, he can't seem to pick up that he feels diffrent towards you.

the reality of differential feelings towards others was a bit foreign. even when he stepped into the social atmosphere of high school, his view didn't quite change. no matter the girl, no matter the boy, he felt the same.

until you whispered the nickname you made up for him. “kiyoookoji!” in your cute tone, you dragged out the beginning of his name, to end it with the end of his last name. he finds it a bit cute? that you've crafted a nickname for him.

one only you are allowed to use.

nothing changed until you ( forcibly ), dragged him to your dorm and happily explained the anime he had missed out on during his previous 16 years.

kiyotaka ayanokoji hadn't quite realized how he felt, despite the way he leaned in closer to hear you better. despite when his eyes immediately snap to your form. despite the wave of warmth he felt when you hugged his arm, cheek pressed to his shoulder as you look up at him with those pretty doe eyes.

“kiyoooo-o!” you smile and drag his name out per usual. your body is tilted towards his as you lean on the rail of the cruise balcony.

it was another island exam, not very surprising.

though the luxury, the beautiful seas, and the atmosphere is something you could never get over. “hm?”

“whatcha thinkin’ bout?” you smirk and lean in, “im guessing that's your thinking face considering ive never seen you frown like that . . . or ever” normally, people would smile at your teasing, though in his mind he wants to, his lips don't move.

“can i ask you something?”

“course, what is it?”

“. . . i think im feeling something, towards someone.”

“oh?” intrigue fills you, “do tell.”

“. . . something about them is different. i feel different when im near them, like im letting my guard down instinctually. i want them.”

you hum, a finger playfully tapping against your chin. “diffrent? how?”

“like . . . i feel warm around them. they grab my attention whenever they walk in. and i like listening to them. no matter how ridiculous it sounds. i just think it's—i feel different around them. and i don't know if i want it to stop . . . i think i do?”

ayanokoji's eyes drift to you. his eyebrow raises slightly. “what?”

“kiyo,” you smile, “you've developed a crush. normal people get that all the time.”

“huh,” he mumbles.

“care to tell me who's caught your eye? i wanna know what your type is,” you tease and lean towards him.

ayanokoji feels a sense of amusement at your actions. he takes a breath before looking at you, his eyes locked on yours. “your smart, i think you already know the answer to that question,” he whispers.

your lips twitch into a smile, “cute.”

you hum and stand up straight, taking steps to be right in front of him. “would you care to test my theory?” you smirk, mischief in those pretty eyes he loves to drown in.

“and how would we do that?”

“kiss,” you whisper and stand on the tips of your toes, your lips hovering over his. you feel his breath against your lips and you lock eyes with him once more. “care to tr—”

before you can finish your words, his hand finds purchase on your hip and he presses his lips to yours. his eyes flutter closed as he takes in the feeling he gets from you. your voice, your smile, your touches.

after a moment he breaks away, his hand lingering on your hip. his eyes open and looks into your eyes, not uttering a word.

. . .

“wellllll, was i right?”

he presses his lips to yours once again, holding you a bit closer this time. you chuckle and cup the side of his face. you break away, only for him to lean in for another.

“hey you,” you whisper, causing him to pause, “that's a lot of kissing for someone who isn't my boyfriend.”

ayanokoji's lips twitch at your words, “then would you date me?”

a hum leaves your lips. your eyes travel to his, your thumb running along his bottom lip. a smile grows on your face. “since you asked so nicely, yes.”

[pali-and-proud]

My finals ended yesterday and I ended up sleeping for 11 hours. I can think again.

I want to take a moment to just talk about perspectives. How Buddy percieves Chase, how Chase percieves Buddy, and how Deacon percieves both.

Buddy's POV of Chase is so beautiful to me because Chase is just such an enigma to him. He's so quick to bicker and insult, and he routinely says the most ridiculous and outlandish things that Buddy can't even respond to, and then he turns around and is so selflessly caring and kind and considerate that it nearly always takes Buddy off-guard. Buddy knows the more about Chase than vice versa, and yet Buddy never seems able to expect what Chase is going to do.

I could be wrong, actually, but I think almost all of their conversations end with or include Buddy being confused by something Chase said, or something Chase did. And Chase is doing it all with a shirt, guys.

Chase's POV of Buddy is nearly the exact opposite. Chase knows NOTHING about Buddy, outside of phobias and fashionware, and Deacon's the one who has to remind him about that. Chase is good at reading people; we already knew that. Chase is GREAT at reading Buddy.

He's aware of Buddy's need for attention. He's aware of Buddy's barbs--knows when Buddy's being mean, and when Buddy's trying to be nice. He's aware that Buddy's situation is concerning enough to warrant outside help, and that Buddy won't ask for it. Buddy isn't really a mystery to him--the only real question is how to get Buddy to trust him. Which is insane, really, since we've seen in the current arc (vampire) that Buddy did genuinely trust Chase.

(I could go so far as to say the only part of Buddy that Chase doesn't easily/accurately understand is how CHASE fits into Buddy's life, but I will digress)

Deacon, though? Ohhhh, Deacon. Deacon's role is SO much more important than I think people give it credit for. Deacon is the only way we get a true outsider's glimpse into Chase (he tells us about Chase's money problems, he explains why Chase loves new stuff, he reminds us that Chase's dream to be a singer/dancer/idol isn't realistic and that Chase logically knows that, and he breaks down some of Chase's quirks.)

Deacon is also, uh, how we see Buddy respond to someone he doesn't have an embarrassingly obvious crush on. It's so easy to forget that Buddy is actively trying to treat Chase better until you see Buddy interact with Deacon for two seconds, in which Buddy's managed to be both smug and/or jealous. Yes I haven't forgotten that Buddy is jealous of Chase's cousin. Yes I do think thats the funniest reoccuring joke.

So Deacon having a really good view of both characters--where he can trust Chase's judgement while also being the logic that Chase sometimes forgoes AND can be cautious of Buddy due to past actions while also understanding that Buddy is more complicated than initial assumptions--it's important because it helps ground the characters.

And in direct contrast: Buddy's dislike of Deacon is completely rooted in his terrible understanding of Deacon's role to Chase. Buddy's first conversation with Deacon is him telling Deacon he should stop doing the stories because he's in over his head, despite Deacon having prepared more than Chase ever did. Buddy continues to yell and berate Deacon for his choice in book, despite Deacon actively choosing books he/Chase would enjoy, which is what you (according to Buddy, at least, and my inferences) should ideally do.

Chase's POV of Deacon is a bit more convoluted, and this post is already pretty long; I don't know if anyone's actually reading all this. He's just such a younger cousin; he doesn't idolize Deacon, but he does expect Deacon to have the answers. They're such older/younger brother coded. From the beginning, Chase has wanted to hang out with Deacon. It's almost tragic, honestly, that Deacon has such a high opinion of Chase that he never really shares, while Chase shows his high opinion of Deacon so often that a completely separate person was able to get jealous.

I took my psych final yesterday. Surely this is what my professors would want me to use my knowledge on.

[kaivenom]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do the One Piece Guys x Reader where, since it is the Fall/Halloween season, there are short stories of romantic scenarios of them and the reader doing Fall/Halloween things?

One Piece men small romantic Halloween season scenarios

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Trafalgar Law, Eustass Kid, Killer

A/N: This time Halloween caught me surprised and i wasnt planing on doing anything (cause i didnt have time to prepare it) but since two people asked for Halloween themed specials, i post this today 31th and the other one tomorrow 1st. Enjoy this fast done Halloween especial.

Masterlist

Luffy

You came back to the ship and suddently all the floor was full of candy wrappers.

"Luffy, what did you do?" you yelled angryly to see your boyfriend on the floor with mouth full of chocolate like a small monster.

"Nothing."

"You fool, i see the evidence all over your face. Why? We were supposed to keep the candy for the kids to come here trick or treat." you almost thought you were about to cry due to frustation.

"Im sorry."

"i hope you are, halloween it's over." you said and go to sit on the couch, more sad than angry.

A couple of seconds later you felt a pair of arms wrap around your neck and a cheek brushing against yours.

"Please, what can i do to compensate?"

"That is up to you." you were trying to isolate from everything but couldnt keep away the curiosity when he came upstairs.

A couple of minutes later he appeared with improvised costumes, one looked like a witch and another like a ghost.

"We are going trick or treating."

"We are adults."

"I dont care, if we cant take the candy from the houses then we will take it in a more... out of law way."

You couldn't help but laugh due to the silliness of the situation. But you finally accepted and go to town.

Of course, no one of the town gave candy to some adults but there were a marine base so... you stole all the candy they had, and then run all over town with the sacks on your shoulder.

"That was funny."

"It was." you laughed and kissed him, which of course he corresponded.

"Now we have more candy to eat." you pinched his cheek with a devilish smile.

"No, you already ate, now we are going to distribute it with the children." he pouted at this but accepted and you kissed him again, "don't worry, you will have a little trophy tonight."

He smiled and expecting of your night encounter, he didnt separate himself from you the rest of the evening.

Zoro

You both arrived at a town on Halloween exactly and the people there celebrated something were they visited their loved ones graves. All the crew took it as a very weird and macabre thing but Zoro seemed amused so you proposed to take a walk thru the graveyard.

Even in the dark of the night, the oranges of the candles and the flowers make everything so colorful and somehow, recomforting. Zoro took your hand and place it on his biceps, now you both waking like the couples around, connected.

"This is somehow beautiful."

"It is, it makes you value life and honour death, this people are wise and respectul. I like that."

"I percieve it."

He smiled and place a small kiss on your lips, he looked relaxed and gratefull and you loves that.

You discovered a church/temple were the foreigners could put offering to their lost ones. It was a big contrast the tradition for loved ones in the place and the traditions that Zoro had. But still, you tried to accompany him on his offerings and prayers.

"And now what?" you asked on the stairs of the temple while he raised his shoulders in confusion.

"Now you eat, beautiful couple." a men appeared and offered you some food.

You realized that people were sitting on the ground of the graveyard and eating whole meals. So you took a place a little distand (you didnt want to bother anyones graves) and did a little picnic.

"This is a beautiful tradition." you said.

"Almost as beautiful as you." kissed your forehead, "somehow its very spiritual, we can come back the next year."

"I like that." he gave you again more peppering kisses.

Somehow that night made him extra lovely and devoted to you.

Sanji

He had been planing it for weeks, Halloween its a special occasion for doing special themed dishes so... he had enough food to survive 100 years and he planned to do every dish he wanted.

"Sanji, what is this?" you entered the kitchen earlier than he expected.

"Umm, i was planning on doing a special halloween dinner... like a surprise."

"Oohh, i can help?"

He didnt planned on letting you help, you were his godness, you cant make your hands dirty, but seeing you with that ilusion on your eyes, make him weak. Accepted and invite you to start organizicing ingredients.

Really aesthetic everything, he helped you knead things by putting himself behind you and interconecting your hands, small kisses every now and then, you throwing flour at him jockingly.

The night came and the only thing left were some cookies on the hoven so you both started somehow slow dancing on the kitchen.

"I didnt expect that cooking with you would be so nice, i expected you to be like one of those judges of the cuisine shows."

"How can i judge my precious woman."

"With a positive review." you smiled and kissed his cheek while he spinned you around and now your back is on his chest.

"And i am so used to working alone on the kitchen that i didn't expect to have such a good time but as always, doing things with you is the best of the day."

Trafalgar Law

Even thought you didn't expect It, Law Its a fanatic of Halloween... More like a fanatic of Halloween themed movies such as slashers or thrillers, specially psicological ones. So, when you discovered, you had to plan something out for the day.

"Law, handsome, since you like that type of movies so much and we are on spooky season, would you like to bingewatch?"

"And you think you are capable of keeping It straight with the fear?" He said, clearly judging and challenging you.

"I would."

"Then i accept."

Half a movie later you were terrified but you didn't want him to know, and that lasted for like 2 movies. He was really intrigated on the plot to see your little shaking, or thats what you thought.

"Just said that you are scared and we can go seeing the old ones, with the bad cuality effects, It wont be that bad."

You shook you head, you wont admit that you are scared to him. Then, when a movie with jumpscares started, you couldnt keep It straight anymore.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" You yelled while pressing Trafalgar's head against your chest, full of fear. "I am dying of terror since two movies ago, i cant to this anymore."

"Thanks for finally admiting." He said calmly.

"Idiot, i wanted to try to be as strong as you, how can you see this and dont faint."

"Cause i am a surgeon." He simply said and you had to stop shaking him.

"Fair point. I should go to bed."

"In that state? No, you will stay here and we Will put some of that cheesy Halloween Romance movie you like, then if you like i can play a slashers old movie."

You nodded and placed your head on his neck, he laughed a little at your action but you couldn't be more in love with him on that moment, cause you know how much he hates romance movies

That night you were sleeping really close to him, almost suffocating him with your arms. Normally he would yell but today, he just hugged you back really strong and kissed you.

Eustass Kidd

Big dates usually comes with great parties, being Halloween the BEST of the year. Thats why kid thought and since he is the captain, everyone was obliged to go party with him when the crew sailed on the 31st.

The club was noisy and you were dressed Up like a witch while he was like a zombie, well, everyone on the crew dressed as zombies. But he was your dead men.

You danced, laughed, drinked and even singed. Especially when kid decided to go on stage, sing a little and then dedicate you the dong, really embarrasing.

Now you were outside, midnight and taking some fresh air.

"Here she is, my magical girl." Kid apareaded on the street with a cup on his hand and a cheeky smile.

"You are really drunk" you chanted a little.

"Its that the spell you put on me? Because It Is working really well." You laughed.

"You are silly."

"And you are looking gorgeous. I know that all the crew was invited but right now, It IS our special moment just..."

"Just you and your Hot baddass goth wife that you will do everything she says."

"You caught the words out of my mind and yes, i Will do everything you want."

He kissed you, passionaly, on the dark part of the street, for a long time. Long enough that some members of the crew began to start searching for you both.

But kid couldn't care less, when they found you, he kicked them out and a couple of minutes later you entered again on the club.

Dancing more, laughing more, drinking more and kissing more.

Killer

You were gathering some supplies for the ship and suddently Killer stopped in front of a big banner saying "Pumpkin carving contest". He tried to make you think that he didnt care but in reality it was obvious that he wanted to enter the salon and compete. He is good with knifes and you are good helping him so.

"Killer, if you want, we can..."

"We are adults, we are on our twenties, i am a big feared pirate and..." you looked at him, dead seriously, "i would really like it, if you dont mind and if we can still asign."

You smiled and followed him to the inside. You both signed and he was nervous cause he is big and all of that but inside there are people of all kinds.

He got his knifes, the responsables gsve you a pumpkin and you started thinking on the design, to help him go faster.

The clock marked the end of the contest and the judges passed thru the tables. Some people didn't finish the desings but killer and you being the coordinated couple you are... There was no problem.

You dont know if It was due to the terryfing look of the pumpkin of the intimating look of your boyfriend, but when the judges passed by, they started shaking.

"And the winner is Killer and partner."

You both jumped excited to get the prize, a dinner in a restaurant. In fact you dont really care about the dinner, just that Killer left out his bad boy rude men facade to do something funny and childish.

"That was amazing, we can go to the restaurant now if you want" thats what you said while exiting the salon.

"Yeah, we can do that." He lifted you Up on his shoulder and gave you a loveful spank.