#dn fic recs
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YURI, that means GIRL X GIRL, don't like don't read!!!!!
a quick list of death note yuri fic recs. please note this is an off-the-cuff list & features genderswapped yaoi ships fairly heavily. this is because i write for and read for mello x near first and foremost. i DO have a few remisa and kiyomisa recs, PLUS canon x reader recs... so we are going for a good wide variety here <3
important: i am not listing content warnings of any kind on any of these. most of them fall under the AO3 category "No Archive Warnings Apply," but you alone are responsible for reading the tags and summary for yourself after clicking through and before reading!
encouraging everyone to leave kudos & comments on these! show authors your love! <3
[divider credit]
Misa Amane / Rem
gracefully strung by your hand rated E | 1,862 words
Rem often wondered if Misa’s pleasure was art; Rem certainly thought of it as an act of creation. She was convinced that no other human could create with their body in this way.
Made You Smile rated G | 816 words
“Hey, Rem?” Misa screws on the lid of the nail polish bottle she was fidgeting with, leaning back against her pillows to get a good look up at her friend’s face. “I have a question, is that okay?” “Of course.” Rem turns to her, as permissive as ever. “I will do my best to answer.” She always does. Misa smiles slightly, then beckons her closer. “Actually, I have two. Can I paint your nails?” Rem studies her like she doesn’t quite understand, but when Misa doesn’t clarify or take it back, she hesitantly extends one of her long arms. Her hands are entirely bone, with long thin fingers, and slightly cool to the touch. Misa approximates where Rem’s nails would be if she had any and unscrews the lid again, beginning to apply the red polish in a neat, round oval. “Okay, and my other question…” Misa looks up at Rem, then down again. “What makes you happy?” --- Amane Misa is endlessly endeared towards and endlessly curious about her new shinigami companion.
Misa Amane / Kiyomi Takada
Ruby rated E | 8,307 words
Sometimes she really hates herself. She'd invited Misa to dinner with the intention of maintaining a composed and calculated demeanor throughout, sitting tall with her head held high as always, cementing her position above her. Certain nothing could cause her to lose her footing. But as Misa smiles like a devil across the table, her lips painted like a berry, shining like a ruby in the low light, Kiyomi can feel the control slipping through her fingers. Misa chips away at her, strips the presentable image she so carefully crafted and reveals a side of her she'd kept under lock and key. Not like herself at all. ...Or maybe exactly like herself.
folie à deux rated E | 1,768 words
If Misa were truly devoted, like the sinner that she is, she would have confessed that night while writing her name in pink ink that, in the low light, would of course look red, bloody and terrible and real. Misa did none of these things; instead, this time she took the initiative to ask Kiyomi to dinner.
Canon / Reader
turndown service (misa amane x reader) rated E | 1,571 words
Misa wants a goodnight kiss from Y/N, and who is Y/N to deny her?
cloud (kiyomi takada x reader) rated E | 1,467 words
After a tryst with Misa, Y/N steps outside for some fresh air. Who do you find, Miss To-Oh herself, having a smoke and a midnight snack.
Mello / Near
(see here the neallo-only version of this list)
polar night rated M | 8,119 words
Mello still remembers the time when the collar in Near’s shirt had been twisted, and, without thinking, she reached to fix it, her fingertips grazing the warm skin of her neck. Mello had felt Near’s eyes on her the whole day, and her own hand burned until the next. But Near's hair is something out of her reach; there’s almost no excuse for her to touch it, and the request is weird itself. Her pride works as a break, a halt in her intent of embarrassing herself by even asking in the first place. Because Mello knows very well that if she ever starts, she may never stop. Sometimes, she really doesn’t trust herself. But Near does. Maybe Mello isn’t the stupid one out of the two. -- [the one where Mello's body is made out of nothing but a sadistic brain and a masochist heart]
Lay Odds rated M | 3,505 words
Nat River, a strange orphan girl adopted and brought to London by the Great Gentleman Detective 'L', is following the footsteps of her adopted father as the Lady Detective 'Near'. When L's case brings him to America, he insists on bringing Near with him to New York. There, the sensitive, shut-in Near is drawn into the wild parties and terrible violence of mafiosi, bootleggers, and drug dens. When a gangster's case practically lands in her lap, she must work to prove that old-world deduction can prevail among new money murderers.
Coast-to-Coast rated E | 796 words
"I miss you." "You do?" asked Near. "Fuck off," snapped Mello. "Get on a plane." "It's the middle of the night," said Near. "So? Airports don't close."
Powder Keg rated E | 2,014 words
Mello stops by Near's room for a late night visit after getting her photo back earlier that day. Near has a certain... fixation.
Steeplechase rated T | 1,025 words
Mello wakes up before dawn and finds the horses in the stables. The groom is already up. There's mist on the track. The barn is alive, and it's cool out. or; Horse Girl Near & eternally undone Mello.
Blur rated E | 2,765 words
Near calls Mello back to the SPK's HQ, but she doesn't want to talk.
L / Light
Lavender Haze [with podfic] rated E | 9,017
Freshly back in Japan, L lets Matt take her to their favourite lesbian bar, where she lays eyes on Light Yagami — a strange, petulant butch girl who may or may not have attempted to murder her own husband. L would very much like for Light to take her home. or L is unhinged levels of horny for a girl she met zero seconds ago.
Hear No Evil rated E | 4,497 words
Misa presses the elevator button and heads up, up, up, all the way to Light's room on the sixteenth floor. She gets halfway down the hall before she realizes that something is off. "Please," someone who sounds very much like Light is saying, from behind Light’s bedroom door. Misa pays her girlfriend a surprise visit after-hours at the Kira Task Force headquarters, and overhears what she believes to be a brutal interrogation. After a tense bout of worried eavesdropping, she intervenes to save her. Light puts the "light" in "gaslight." L is also there.
#death note#mello death note#near death note#mihael keehl#nate river#mello#near#meronia#mellonear#misa amane#amane misa#misa death note#kiyomi takada#takada kiyomi#takada death note#kiyomisa#rem death note#rem#remisa#lawlight#l death note#l lawliet#light death note#light yagami#dn fic recs
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weekly fic recs | 31
prompt: terminal/chronic
fandoms: bnha, dn, fma, hq, svsss, tua, yoi
bnha
Anidiotropia by Kizimba
(graphic depictions of violence)
“Are you having an episode?” Aizawa asked carefully and inclined his head at Midoriya’s hand. He’d been pawing at his chest since shortly after the hero’s arrival. Keenly aware that further stress would worsen his condition, Eraserhead had kept quiet about it until it looked like he was improving.
“Mm,” he answered after a long while, blinking slowly. ---- Less than 1% of Japan’s population was quirkless and their numbers were thinning due to an unexplained increase of heart failure.
An abandoned stray living off the scraps his last foster family sends him, Midoriya Izuku is forced to take the reins on his own finances and becomes a notorious online quirk analyst. It's more than just the public that takes an interest in Japan's enigmatic QA, though, and a failing heart soon becomes the least of Izuku's problems.
blue by aworus
(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)
The sole purpose of Izuku’s quirk is to keep him alive.
So it’s pretty ironic that it’s also slowly killing him.
Or: Izuku’s quirk has an unforeseen side effect
More Than Just a Burden by ghosteyes
Izuku's injuries catch up to him just as they're making the move into the dorms. Not only does he decide the best way to deal with them is to ignore it as much as physically possible, but he also does his best to hide it from his friends. Until he can't.
They seem to think it's a 'big deal' his hands sometimes hurt so much that he can't use them. Izuku doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to need special treatment. He doesn't want to have this problem, but it's getting harder and harder to do anything else.
death note
Sickness by BlueberryValentine
Stunning what sickness can draw out of people. L + Light + brain cancer.
haikyuu
the galaxies were endless (i thought we were too) by cosmogony
(major character death)
soulmate /ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun A person who was made from the same star as you.
// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives
fma
a terrifying clamour of trumpets by ShanaStoryteller
Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?”
The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?”
There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.
svsss
Who had you was? I yes you would by technorat
(explicit) (graphic depictions of violence)
Shen Qingqiu struggles against migraines and his own exhaustion. Liu Qingge knows something is wrong but doesn't know what.
Or, Shen Yuan transmigrates into a tumor in Shen Qingqiu's head.
fuel the embers with the flames of your soul by MissParasol
(mature)
Trapped in Huan Hua’s Water Prison, Shen Yuan’s illness from his previous life relapses.
tua
Counting Down The Days To Go by siriuspiggyback
(major character death)
It started off small. Easy to explain away. That was his downfall, in the end. By the time they diagnosed him, it was too late; the cancer had gotten a tight hold on his body.
Klaus wouldn't tell his siblings, not yet, no matter how much Ben begged him. He wanted to feel as normal as he could, for as long as he could.
Bruise Easily, Bad in the Blood by siriuspiggyback
His chest aches with the force of his heart beating, and he gasps for air like a drowning man. At Ben's urging, barely audible over the ringing of his ears, he sits and puts his head between his knees. He feels like he might be floating, or rocking; the sensation is unsettling close to being blackout drunk.
After a long minute, he falls back down to earth.
Ben admits, "I don't think that was a panic attack."
"Told you so," Klaus whines weakly, too exhausted for true smugness.
yoi
don't worry by JMonCheri
(major character death)
Time seemed to slow to a stop, at first Viktor seemed to falter as he slowed alongside with time, his flush obvious on his cheeks. Viktor stopped skating, his form stayed frozen on the rink, before promptly dropping to the ice like a ragdoll.
Yuuri gasps alongside with the crowd. Viktor did not do any jumps, spins, or anything. Viktor Nikiforov, his undefeatable champion, his naive Fiancé, his love, his everything, has simply fainted.
Viktor did not look like he was going to get up anytime soon.
For the first time that night, Yuuri allowed himself to listen to the announcer’s booming voices.
“Viktor Nikiforov has fainted! Where are the medics? I repeat, Viktor Nikiforov has fainted!”
#one hq terminal illness fic was enough for me#i cried#weekly fic recs#prompt#terminal#chronic#bnha fic recs#dn fic recs#hq fic recs#svsss fic recs#tua fic recs#yoi fic recs#bnha#death note#hq#svsss#tua#yoi#fma fic recs#fma
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hi, monica. i trust your taste because i love your writing. what are your favorite niche lawlight fics? (that is, stuff you've read that not many people in the fandom would know.)
hope that you're having a good break and come back to fic refreshed (of course, if you want to). <3 your readers won't go anywhere.
hi wow what a sweet and touching message to receive ;_;
i don't know what counts as niche tbh i will just recommend some here that i don't necessarily see as often as like idk tithe to hell or those. this is in no particular order. i actually forgot to add the ratings to the list below so just be mindful of that if that's something important to you!
the primrose path by tsukinousagi: 1.5k, a beautifully done elizabethan au inspired by hamlet. as you guys probably know i am a hamlet freak and this is laser-targeted to me, the guy who has had the username theprinceofdenmark for 15 years.
summa cum laude by whydoeseverythinghappensomuch: 13k, an incredibly atmospheric college au. reminds me so much of the secret history that it makes me want to chew my own fingers off.
tear you open live inside you by anonymous: 3k, mind the tags. excellent, super in-character blood and gore. consensual but not safe or sane. you get it.
unkissed for a million days by anivhee: 1.7k, this is after L dies but it's still lawlight. it's unhappy but i liked it even as a lawlight freak and fix-it enjoyer.
what i meant to say by booklovertwilight: 6.6k, a paratext collection of light's letters to L after his death.
twenty-three by haydonjames17: 4.7k, an utterly devastating birthday for light after L's death. i'm sensing a theme in my favorites here clearly i need help of some kind.
fifteen stories down by the-night-gods-moon: 7k, this is the closest i'll get to enjoying whump. the boys get stuck in rubble after a building explosion. this fic is profoundly underrated.
our little secret by avoidfilledwithcelluloid: 3k, i actually cannot describe this one it's so good and quite unique! it's a fresh way of writing their antagonism.
hear no evil by sharptoothed: 4.5k, so few people understand how to write misa in a lawlight context but isa nails it. it's also hot so sue me.
i know the way it ends before it's even begun by halfpromise: 15k, a side story to THE death note fic of all time, those. i am deeply biased because i got a shout-out in the dedication but this fic absolutely never fails to make me tear up. it's beautifully written, moving without being trite, and is as close to a happy ending as those!lawlight will ever get.
anyway. this is but a small sample of lawlight fics that make me insane and unwell. this was a very very nice ask to receive i am genuinely moved and i literally didn't know that anyone even noticed i was on hiatus. <3
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Death Note Fic Hunt
Trying to track down an old fanfic I remember reading years ago. Might have been posted on fanfic.net and never made it to Ao3?
The basic premise is that Light gets a second chance at life. Ryuk gets bored again and makes a deal with the shinigami king for Light to be pulled out of Mu and reincarnated, on the condition that he must save as many lives as Kira took in the original timeline. Possibly the incentive is that if he succeeds he will have lived a life free of the Death Note and thereby avoid going to Mu after he dies again, and the punishment if he fails is that he becomes a shinigami or something??
So Light is reborn back in time as a baby but with his adult intelligence and memories of the previous timeline. (This fucks up his relationship with his mother who is extremely unnerved by her Weird Wrong Baby.) He relives his early childhood but as soon as possible he establishes himself as a detective and starts solving cases under the pseudonym Kira. This catches the attention of L, who becomes obsessed with trying to discover the true identity of the new challenger to his title of World's Greatest Detective. Light fucks with him by sending gifts to Wammy's House.
The fic was incomplete last time I read it, and I think it ended right around when Light and L were about to meet in person for the first time.
Scenes I remember:
Sachiko listening in horror from the hallway while baby!Light teaches himself how to talk. His real first word is 'Kira', but a few days later he pretends his first word is 'Mama' and she's like 'Why is my fucked up baby pretending to be normal?'
Light as a toddler or very small child approaching one of the detectives from the Kira Task Force (can't remember which one - possibly the guy who dies really early) and saying something like 'I'm a super genius who knows everything about you and possibly I have some kind of supernatural powers. Come work for me and tell no one.' And the guy is like 'What the fuck? Okay I guess.' and then he becomes Light's Watari figure, helping him set up his secret double-life as an international super detective.
At one point Light saves people from a burning building, because he remembered that people died there and every life he can save counts. This prompts him to realise that eventually he will have to save Misa from dying also, which he is annoyed by because he knows it will cause him problems in the future.
Ryuk is hanging around to keep track of how many lives Light saves and at one point he asks if Light is still planning to join the police. Light is like, 'No I'm doing enough detective stuff in my secret double life, for my day job I'm probably going to go into medicine, maybe become a cardiac surgeon' and Ryuk finds that hilarious.
L keeps getting gifts from Kira and it freaks him out because they're weirdly personal and no one is supposed to know who he is or where Wammy's House is. One year he is hanging around Wammy's in late October, half expecting Kira will send him a birthday present. Nothing comes on October 31st and after a few days L is still sulking about it, so Watari is like 'Okay, it's time to move on now' but then on November 5th an arrangement of flowers for a funeral arrives and L is like 'What is this supposed to mean???'
Please let me know if you remember this fic or know how to find it!!
#death note#death note fic#death note fanfic#fic hunt#fic search#fic rec#light yagami#l lawliet#dn#ryuk#my posts
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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lawlight fic rec list
so i’m gonna do a series of these, starting with my favorite death note ship! make sure to pay attention to all warnings on these fics. enjoy! if you have a ship you’d like me to make a rec list for, please just send me an ask! i don’t want to be obnoxious, and i’m not saying they’re good, but i (slackjawbitch on ao3) have some lawlight fics up!
♡ = a favorite of kitty’s
angst
♡ 1. i’m drowning; please save me: L looks at Yagami Light and drowns. There is no other way to put it. As the days pass and blend into weeks, L looks at Yagami Light sitting next to him, the harsh lines of his face creased and determined, and he swallows water.
L looks at Yagami Light and he cannot breathe.
great characterization, always makes me very emo, and is probably a pretty major influence on my writing. one shot. 1,817 words.
2. always waiting for you just to cut to the bone: And then, breaking through the pounding in his head he hears what would be the last words out of that wretched man’s lips.
“I love you.”
fic for teh death note drama (2016) canon! title is unfortunately from a t*ylor sw*ft song (/silly) but this fic is so good and sad.
3. Our Bodies, Possessed By Light: L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.
modeling and photography au. make sure to read all teh tags and warnings for this one; there’s nothing gross, but some potentially triggering subjects for some people are in here. multi chapter. 81,218 words.
4. Hearts and Spades: Which would you choose? Love or death? RaitoL, slight AU.
short but sweet piece featuring that classic fanfiction dot net era vibe, an emo-ass playing card metaphor (/pos), and a recounting of l’s death scene that made me sad over him all over again (also /pos). and also light being obnoxious, but it’s death note, so that’s usually a given, lol. one shot. 1,801 words.
5. Not Quite Drowning: Sometimes Light ponders happiness. L/Light
a short lawlight and light character study. i like it a lot, and i don’t usually like light, so that should tell you something about how well i think it’s written! one shot. 424 words.
♡ 6. Water, water, water: In the bath, they forget they’re a detective and a suspect; they remove these identities along with their clothes, layer by layer until there are only the handcuffs left. And them; facing the other in the eerie calmness of their bathroom.
At least, it’s how Light sees it.
i really love this one! make sure to read teh tags, as eating disorders and drugs are mentioned, for example. angst with a happy ending! one shot. 3,504 words.
fluff
1. Silver Bells: Silver bells...silver bells...
They’ve made it. Everything is okay now, when they’re dancing in the candlelight.
really, really cute! i recommend it as a palate cleanser to make you feel better after reading a sad one, lol. one shot. 1,255 words.
♡ 2. New Year’s Eve: "I've seen fireworks before," he says. "This is... so much... more."
just a cute little new year’s eve lawlight fireworks show! this one is also from 2009 which is kinda cool to me, haha. i like this author’s descriptive language a lot. one shot. 507 words.
♡ 3. Do Gay Penguins Go to Hell?: Too many New Year snacks bring about a family discussion between L, Raito and their daughter about healthy diet, common sayings and nature of good and evil. And gay penguins, of course. AU
a really darling kid fic, based on teh stupid, homophobic controversy over that adorable kids’ book about teh gay penguin couple. one shot. 3,791 words.
4. A Feeling: It's LxLight fluff! This takes place after Light was confined and lost his memories, chained to L. : D SO YUS. SOME FLUFF FOR YAH D: Hope you leik it :D
very cute “l and light cuddle and kiss” fic, written by a scene kid in 2008, which is extra points with me! one shot. 1,006 words.
alright! i will add to this rec list as i find more fics, and i would love it if people would send in their favorite lawlight fics!
#kittyposting#mine#kitty’s fic rec lists#death note#dn#lawlight#fic rec#rec list#fanfiction recommendation#fanfiction#l lawliet#light yagami#l death note#web finds#angst#fluff#ao3#archive of our own#livejournal#deviantart#fanfiction.net#fanfiction dot net#fanfiction dot hell#/j#anime#2000s anime#fanfiction reccomendations#recommendation#recommendations#kitty writes sometimes
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your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)
oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...
it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.
i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!
i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes
obligatory classics
• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,
•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.
RARE finds
(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)
contemporary favorites:
• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.
honorary mentions
• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)
#death note#meronia#mello dn#near dn#mihael keehl#nate river#mello#near#fic recs#this took so long to compile dfkgjfdjkgfdjk
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btw my favorite discovery so far from the AO3 tastemaker game is talking in daydreams by the terrific @cat-soda; it's a little over 300 words, intimate & delicate in a completely lovely way. and i am obsessed with the ending.
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FEBRUARY 2023 FIC RECS:
We’re Already Off To An Awesome Start! If Only I Could Make This A Full Time Job XD. Anyway, I Won’t Be Around To Make A Complete List For March, But Expect Me Back In April. If Anyone Expects Me.
KEY
🗝️ = I Loved The Style Of Writing
✈️ = I Loved The Plot/Idea
⭐️ = Well Portrayed/Written Characters
🔥 = It Stirred Something Deep Inside Me And I Cannot Recommend It More
🤍 = Fluff
♥️ = Angst
💕 = Seasonal
Peter Parker’s Photographer Girlfriend Blurb (Peter Parker X Fem!Reader) by @keeryshouse 🗝️✈️🔥🤍
Well Shoot ☺️ If This Isn’t This The Cutest Thing. I’m Majoring In Photography, And Boy, I Sure Wish I Had A Model Like Peter. Well Done, OP 🫱🏼♥️
doughnuts (TASM!Peter Parker X Fem!Afab!Reader) by @forourmoons 🗝️✈️🤍
Hell Yeah; Hold My Face And Kiss Me Please. Please? This Made Me Feel Very Warm Inside. Also, I Really Love Doughnuts. 🍩
Thrown, Part 31: A Failing Strategy (Eventual Loki X Reader) by @maple-seed 🗝️✈️⭐️🔥♥️
Part 31??!! OP Is Dedicated! I Definitely Don’t Have The Time To Read Through The Whole Thing, But It Was Pretty Darn Good On It’s Own. I Hope To Come Back To It Soon. It’s Very Nice. Excellent Writing, Ma’am. I Admire You. 👌🏽
Have Some Tea (Not Really A Pairing, Mostly Ft. Loki & Reader’s Child) by @kilikina34512 🗝️✈️🤍🤍🤍
Awwww, Gosh, This Is So Cute And Wholesome. We Love Our Little Toddlers.
Burning Words (Loki X Reader) by @lokiprompts ✈️🔥🤍♥️
Great Dialogue And Plots Come From Characters Who Can Say Anything But What They Want To Say. There’s A Post Floating Around With That Message, And I Like This Example Of It. Anyway, This Is My Exact Level Of Awkward LOL 😂
How Do You Think Peter Would Propose? (TASM!Peter Parker X Fem Reader) by @mrshipsmcgee 🗝️✈️⭐️🔥🤍
I Added A Tag That Read Slmething Along The Lines Of “smooooooth” When I Hit Reblog And I’ll Say It Again. Impeccable Timing, Sir!
*massive untapped potential* (Light X Y/N L/N) by @phantomrose96 🗝️✈️✈️✈️⭐️🔥
HOLY SMOKES I’m Not Even A Part Of The Death Note Fandom, But This Idea Is Absolutely Spectacular. This Is Brilliant Work, Here!
And, Of Course, The Incorrect Quotes. Go Give Them Love. They’re Ingenious.
The Frog Spider Vine, by @incorrect-marvelcinematic-quotes (I Think This One Will Be A Forever Favourite Of Mine)
Oh shit he’s about to be 17, by @ironrad (Oh Shit MCU’s Peter Parker Is Cannonically Only 16 And A Half)
The Sin Of Pi Is Zero, by @marvel-lous-guy (Very Clever!)
If You’re An Author Of One Of These Fics And Would Prefer I Take You/Your Work Off This List/My Blog, Pls Message <3
#fic recs by mimi#fic recs#fic rec list#february 2023#loki x reader#peter parker#loki x female reader#peter parker x reader#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki imagine#peter parker fluff#dn fanfiction#dad loki#tags
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listened to something beautiful while wrapping up this work memo & now im experiencing a category 5 meronia event. AAAAAUGHHHHGHGHHHGH
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For the Shipping bingo card:
Sigurd/Riddle
Mikamatsu
Ienzo/Sephiroth
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
You manufacture situations in which I can talk I love you
ㅤ
Sigurd/Riddle
An actual bingo for once??? Their POWER
So uh if you haven't read Undertaker Riddle yet and you don't want to be spoiled I heavily suggest you look away because there's no way to talk about them without spoilers
Anyways BY GOD
You wanna talk King and his knight? Try king and his most loyal secretary
French revolution came to town and on his way to hell Sigurd stopped his soul and was like "I see myself in you (affectionate derogatory)" and then gave Riddle his current name. Very "If you have nothing to live for then live for me" this whole situation kinda is for them
But oh god the DRAMA
Sigurd has been King for so long that he doesn't believe things can get better and that the human world just keeps going downhill, so because of his unique position of being so detached from so long he decides that the only way to fix everything is to shake things up
To which "shake things up" means use his power to swap the positions of the real world and hell
And so Riddle has past decided he'd do anything for him, HOWEVER
Sigurd instructs Riddle in the event that he fails, Riddle is to be the one to kill him so he can make sure his soul reincarnates so that Sigurd can have another chance. And YEAH Riddle does it! But by god does he have tangible feelings about it! All of the other undertakers who knew him at this time describe it as if Riddle was never really the same after that
Heck Riddle was so broken up after that that Roen ended up curating a seemingly onesided love where he wished to live domestically with Riddle and make him happy so he'd never look so sad again
Riddle is so devoted to Sigurd's plan that he plays the long game, and orchestrates practically everything, so he can tear Sigurd out of Hayato and see him again
And that whole event is a BUNDLE of devotion and betrayal and angst holy christ
Do you ever spend centuries following the person you care about most, even after they're dead, and everything goes perfectly except by the time you see him again you've also fallen for his reincarnation and his reincarnation's humanity so you have to be the one to end your beloved once more but you also betray your other beloved in the process because you feel as if you should be eternally punished?
God damn, Riddle
Anyways they're married they're divorced they're married again they're having sexual intimacy in secret they're best pals they're soulmates they have tension they have an unexplained scene in front of a mirror where they're hugging🙂
ㅤ
Ooooh haha Mikamatsu I never get to talk about them
Two in a row?? CRAZY
Okay I bet you're wondering how a certified rarepair could get so many squares
Well, let's begin with where this ship began for me
Anyone who knows me knows I used to end up with a lot of ships that center around the same person, but wouldn't include the third ship in what would make it a triangle (for example, like liking xxc x sl and xxc x xy, but not xy x xxc). Now, however I tend to be more open to that "secret third ship".
All this to say that I sorta entertained the idea when I was already shipping mikalight and matsulight
But anyways. One day I got to thinking about the death note ending (be aware that I wasn't aware at the time that the manga ending was different)
Or, more specifically, an au in which Mikami lived after yellow box (which I am aware now is canon). I had seen the manga panels of how Matsuda felt about Light after all this, so I thought about them both having feelings about Light.
And that created an angsty Mikamatsu au where Matsuda visits Mikami in prison to learn about what he knew about Light at first, so both of them learn about parts of Light they didn’t know through each other, bond over his death, kiss and yeah
That was the gateway, and now they're everything to me
They're perfect for angst, aus where they were roommates during the events in canon or met at the gym. They're perfect for child raising aus and bonding over the same guy
And yes, they would get sexually intimate with the same guy (Light) in my head
Everything I enjoy about them is made up but oh the what ifs oh the possibilities. Throwing Matsuda’s sweetness and Mikami’s devotion into everything
Also if you haven't already or I convinced you...read these fics
This one is Xion's. It's a fairy-tale au and I adore it:
And this one is just ah so so sweet man I love it:
ㅤ
And now for the one no one expected!
Ienzo/Xexion x Sephiroth
So you all might be sitting here wondering
Why
Why them? An utter crackship
Well, some of you are aware of a funky au I have that has leagues of lore and worldbuilding and only two fics, the most self indulgent au in my catalog.
That au, is the Twilight Prince au.
What I have learned through fandom is that if you make the situation in which the characters interact, you can make up almost any ship that no one would have thought up otherwise, and you can make it believable by giving them a dynamic.
So, in the business of maybe getting some of you to understand the why, I will explain a bit of the au that no one but my beloved best friend knows about
Now, the aus "Twilight Prince" in question, is Riku from Kingdom Hearts. I had to think up family structures for characters in this au, and so because I love dumb things like this, Xion and I came up with the idea of having the other Rikus as Riku's siblings, and Sephiroth as the current King of the Twilight.
So, yes. One of those "Sephiroth is Riku's dad" aus😂
The next family structure I had to think up was Kairi's. You see, Kairi kingdom hearts is the current young adult queen of Hyrule. She's trying to facilitate peace between Hyrule and the realm of twilight. In the renga fic for the au, I made references to their being war and tensions, so of course I had to figure out how that all came about.
Thus I decided that Ansem the Wise would be Kairi's grandfather, because I decided that, well, he would be my choice for making tensions and the war worse. Through this, I put some structure into the castle staff. Even is head royal scientist and has a secret but not so secret thing going on with Ansem tw. Kairi needed parents. Ienzo is practically the Ansem tw/Even adopted child in kh canon. Ansem tw practically pays high status women to sleep with him until he can produce an heir (Ienzo).
So, long story short. Kairi is Ienzo's test tube baby, Ansem tw is super controlling during Ienzo's short reign as King. Ienzo doesn't really love being King anyways and feels trapped. When Kairi comes of age and is decently prepared he fakes his death and passes the Kingdom on to her (she is aware of this btw)
And so, King Ienzo rebrands himself as Zexion, royal scientist (after splitting for a while and learning more before ending up working his way up through the castle of course).
Now, keep in mind. The people don't know he's the same guy. To most of the people, Zexion isn't incredibly well known. The castle family structure? They're aware by now, but they can't do anything about it. So, they allow Zexion to go on trips to the Twilight Realm on Royal business (or basically, Twili King Sephiroth and Queen Kairi both allow the other to handpick people to send across borders under supervision, and Zexion is there for scientific reasons).
Now, Sephiroth isn't stupid either. He knows Zexion is the presumed dead King Ienzo.
And pretty much what happens is they sorta end up in this will they won’t they relationship where they're passive aggressive to each other but also Sephiroth invites Ienzo to what's practically a private Twili spa and yeah tensions go up and things just...begin for them. Sephiroth is a bit hopelessly attracted, Ienzo is definitely ace and arospec
I love them
#Riddle x sigurd#sigurd x riddle#undertaker riddle#sougiya riddle#death note#mikamatsu#mikatsuda#matsumika#fic rec#dn fic rec#ienzo x sephiroth#sephiroth x ienzo#kingdom hearts#zexion x sephiroth#sephiroth x zexion#sephzex#zexseph#kh#ask game#ask meme#Thank you so much man! I am giving you kissies as we speak so many kissies#twilight prince au#I am so sorry this is so long#the readmore trick still doesn't work on mobile anymore
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out of hand • rating: E
"I believe Light-kun is assessing my behavior with unchaste intent."
OR
What happens when you're never alone?
Read on AO3!
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Propaganda to vote for my friends :]
Height Difference by NegativePeanutHoarder
The dreamnap height fic, the characterization and each of dreamnaps povs is so perfect. And Sapnap using wrestling as a way to get Dream to manhandle him and get on top of his was soooo accurate. Like I love them, this fic is so good.
Practice Boyfriends by sixpigeons (sapitties)
Dream and Sapnap "practicing" and figuring out their secualities with each other but they're both mutually pining idiots, sign me up. This fic is so sweet, they're so soft and loving toward each other. And Dream introducing Sapnap as his bf to his family gets me so emotional. I love this fic so much.
@negativepeanuthoarder @sapitties @sapnapstummy @selvish
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Older wolfstar fic recs: (older in age that is)
let me know what I missed and self recs are welcome (also as always check tags for each one to protect yourself) **And I know older is relative term bc most of these wolfstar are in their 30s I do believe. But. They have more life experience than in Hogwarts or uni.
--orange juice (i've been ready for you to come home for so long) by raggedypond: divorced parents of teddy with one bed at his graduation
-Honey If I'm Not by @brigid-faye divergent post war where remus left, jily lived, and wolfstar only reconnects years later by chance. (Also has a Sirius pov)
---used my best colours for your portrait by @littleoldrachel lie low at Lupin's with flashbacks exploring remus' life
-Looking for Moony by Writer_INFJ_2w1: meet and fall in love birthday party
-Flight of Destiny by @lucigoo lesbian wolfstar meet on plane (Luci also has several others where they're older and lots of beautiful fics
--Aging Gracelessly by orphan_account: texting fic
--the mayors of simpleton by fruity_individual divorced wolfstar get back together, raising teddy
-Second Generation by MsAlexWP single parents, getting back together. The sequel is so perfect too! It's a Nice Day for a Wolfstar Wedding
-the sea is a good place to think of the future by peachyybabe (second in series is mcd but this one is open ending)
-Of Memories and Milk Thievery by moonymoment raising teddy, get back together
--Birthday Blues by YouBlitheringIdiot @blitheringmcgonagall :Sirius is turning sixty and he is appalled...
--Give Quarter to Old Men - @krethes series
--dear your holiness by mollymarymarie
--The Postwar Chronicles by @sliebman10 post canon series
-Vigil Strange I Kept by whitmans_kiss explores effects of lycanthropy
--ten reasons (to go to michigan) by @greyeyedmonster-18 remus headed home, trying to move on from divorce
--Prettiest Star Verse by Raging_queer
-I didn’t sign up for this by Moonystoastandmarsbar divorced wolfstar
-Of Protein Powders and PTAs by @squintclover and @tracingpatternswrites rivals to lovers
-An Infinte Ocean by orphan_account raising teddy strangers to lovers
--The Road Not Taken by @mollymarymarie
-extra credit by MsAlexWP rivals to lovers
-Baby On Board by aqua_myosotis
-Of Memories, Bitter and Sweet by MsAlexWP memory loss
**luci's recs
-my love, take care of yourself by littleoldrachel
-How to romance a guy with (terrible) poetry by BayleyWinchester
-Teddy Plays Matchmaker by grow_as_we_go
-The Front Step Surprise by R33sesPieces
**Recs from others** (I haven't read all these yet but wanted to include)
--Just what the doctor ordered by WrappedUp (be aware there is age gap)
--The Lab by de_sire again an age gap
-Till We Have Arrived Home Again by prouvairing divergent post canon raising harry
-The Patchwork of Us by TracingPatterns
-The Things I Did by Lolo_row
-The Phoenix Agency by LupinsChocolatePraline
-The Fall by EuripidesTrousers
-Pages of You by wolfpants this is drarry main but apparently background wolfstar is really good
-Just Like Heaven by the_prettiest_w0lf_star: mechanic Sirius and librarian Remus
-soloorganaas
-impishtubist
***Self rec***
--Memories of You: mcd exploring memory loss
--Through the Years: Sirius thinks about the past and how handsome his husband is while holding their granddaughter.
--DN(R): Lie low at Lupin's era where they discuss decisions Remus made in the lost years.
**also- the wolfstar librarian is always a great resource make sure to give some likes on posts: 30yo and Up part 2 Bring Black Back Back from the Veil Lie Low at Lupin’s Post Azkaban Grimmauld Place
--Feel free to check my other rec lists, as well as the rest of my fics
#older wolfstar#fic recs#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#fanfic recommendations#lie low at lupin's#divergent#muggle au
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svt fic recs (mostly nc-17; jeongcheol, minwon, multis + other)
JEONGCHEOL
"you don't understand (you should never know)". f1!au. oneshot, 2k. nc-17.
Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team's Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan are in the midst of battling it out for the Formula One World Drivers' Championship.
"the necessity of living". omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh. oneshot, 3k. nc-17.
"Jeonghan," Seungcheol says, strangled.
Jeonghan closes his eyes. Oh god, he thinks hysterically. Not this again.
"beginning song". soulmate!au. oneshot, 17k. pg-13. ♡
He’d thought, when he was younger, that his feelings for Jeonghan would eventually fade with time. But time seems to have done the opposite. Seungcheol isn't sure which version of reality might be worse: one where Jeonghan isn't his soulmate, or one where he is.
"ready to love". oneshot, 20k. nc-17.
“Felt nice, right?” Jeonghan murmurs benignly. Warning bells sound in the depths of Seungcheol’s consciousness. He’s attuned to Jeonghan’s brand of troublemaking; nothing good could possibly follow that tone of Jeonghan’s voice.
"eulalia (silver grass)". wolf!au. oneshot, 20k. nc-17. ♡
There’s a new scent in the pack’s hanok. It’s getting under Jeonghan’s skin.
"one step closer". royalty!au. 5 chapters, 132k. nc-17.
The West nations crown prince Yoon Jeonghan loses his position, land, and all of his pride in a war with the East nation's Emperor Choi Seungcheol. The next thing he knows, he's being referred to as betrothed of the Emperor.
MINWON
"miss me?". oneshot, 1k. nc-17.
Where they miss each other.
"here kitty kitty". hybrid!au: cat!ww, panther!mg. twoshot, 26k. nc-17. ♡
Panther hybrid Mingyu visits a housecat hybrid village and causes quite the stir.
"sweet accident". au, age gap, prime minister!mg. 12 chapters, 34k. nc-17. ♡
“Jeon… Wonwoo… age twenty…three…college… student… no… gag reflex. Status…very… available.”
MULTI
"rewind and repeat". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. age gap, omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, alpha!js. oneshot, 3k. nc-17. ♡
There is shame, in letting men nearly ten years younger than him tumble into his bed. Jeonghan almost feels guilty.
"synced threes". wonwoo/seokmin/mingyu. oneshot, 5.6k. nc-17. ♡
“This is what you two do on a night without me?”
"cognitive dissonance". jeonghan/svt. au, age gap, professor!jh. oneshot, 7k. nc-17 (pls check the tags!).
“Mr. Yoon…?” Jeonghan looks up again, his stare unfocused. His mouth is so pink Soonyoung can nearly imagine the heat of it against his own.
"it takes three to tango". s.coups/wonwoo/dino. au. oneshot, 15k. nc-17. ♡
There was no room in their love for a third person, of that, Wonwoo was entirely sure, but there was plenty of space for a third in their bed, and Chan would fit quite nicely.
"being a beta". s.coups/jeonghan/joshua. omegaverse: alpha!sc, omega!jh, beta!js. twoshot, 24k. nc-17.
Hong Joshua enjoyed being a beta. Being a beta meant a quiet, simple life without being subjected to biology in the way alphas and omegas often were. Too bad he was deeply in love with an omega who craved an alpha mate.
OTHER
"an appropriate distance". seokgyu. omegaverse: omega!sm, omega!mg. oneshot, 6.6k. nc-17.
It's like this: Seokmin helps out with Mingyu’s heat, but not the other way around. Maybe Seokmin is the one holding Mingyu at arm’s length, but it's better this way.
"i'm sorry every song's about you". junhao. band!au. oneshot, 10k. nc-17.
The bass of their songs is always what sticks with Minghao the most. Junhui sticks with Minghao too.
"sip on your lips". sooncheol. au, age gap, single dad!sc. oneshot, 11k. nc-17.
Soonyoung finds it a little too hard to say no to the hot single dad across the hall.
"of the color gray". wonchan. fantasy!au: demon!ww, witch!dn. oneshot, 16k. nc-17.
Chan accidentally summons and binds himself to a lust demon. It turns out better than expected.
"son of nyx". verkwan. spy!au. 3 chapters, 31k. pg-13.
Hansol Vernon Chwe is eighteen when he decides to follow Seungkwan to the end of the earth, even if it means becoming a contracted agent with no guaranteed future.
#seventeen#svt#seventeen fanfic#seventeen fic recs#svt fanfic#svt ff#svt fic#jeongcheol#minwon#meanie#verkwan#wonchan#junhao#seokgyu#sooncheol#ot3#fic rec#as u can see i do appreciate a good poly fic
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the demons got to me and i’m thinking about mello again.
god i so desperately wish we could’ve seen him interact with L in canon. near too, but mello in particular— i’ve already written my mello & misa parallels post so i won’t reiterate all that here but, fuck. i think their similarities would’ve been so obvious if we had actually seen mello’s hero worship of L in practice, like more than just his freak out at roger upon hearing about his death.
do you think he would’ve been loud, in his face about it? i don’t think so. i can’t help thinking back to near’s explanation of why L picked the two of them out to be his successors— the two quiet kids at the back of the room, glowering and watching while everyone else asked their questions. the obvious implication is that L picked them out because they seemed to idolize him, to respect him the least. near at least seems to have managed to stick with that mindset for most of canon… but when did mello’s view start changing? was he just better at hiding it? did his feelings ever become more, less mixed? did he worship L like a cold, distant god— or grow to respect the minor points of humanity that seeped out from the corners?
speaking of: how the FUCK did that conversation about the LABB murder case go? how much of that story was actually, directly told to mello, and how much was his own fantasy, filling in the blanks? he clearly projected onto BB. did he join the mafia with that knowledge in mind, that the desperate, inferiority complex-riddled serial killer was the archetype he fit into better than the world famous detective? did he care about justice, any kind of moral standard— did he bloody his hands or find ways to work around it?
mello knew was never going to be L’s successor, not if he played the game according to its established rules. did L ever imply such things to his face? actually, what the hell did L think of near? was he aware of the burden he put on those fucking kids, did he ever care for even a second? did he mistakenly assume his own immortality, even in the face of a supernatural murder?
(clawing desperately at the walls of my enclosure. L getting annoyed at his pet orphanage of super-geniuses for distracting him from his evil boyfriend is one of my favorite fic tropes of all time, if you gimme recs for that i’ll kiss you)
i wonder if mello ever saw the parts of L in near that everyone else seems to unable to see past. maybe he did, but even so— i think he, of all people, was most aware of all the ways in which near was himself. how easily he fit the role but all the ways in which he broke out of it as well, the similarities in their intelligence & methods of thinking but the minor details that meant near could win where L never could. where mello himself never could. he probably knew how that guy functioned better than anyone, maybe even better than near himself, though i doubt he’d ever do much with that knowledge. it’s one of the few places where i see mello & near switching in terms of passivity— mello knowing Everything about near but doing very little about it, paralyzed by his own self-doubt, while near comparatively struggles to claw as much Mello Knowledge as he can, poking and prodding and pushing him in every direction, all while getting continually blind-sighted as he explodes in random ways he can barely fathom.
i like to think that, in contrast with near’s extreme codependence, mello is actually quite self-sufficient. weirdly, he seems to me like the DN character to be the most likely to actually go to therapy at some point. i think he’s a lot more self aware than he lets on, if only because his inferiority complex drives so much of his self hatred, pushing him to always be better, stronger, more independent. i like to imagine that his apartment or room or wherever the fuck he lives is actually quite clean, that he pushes himself to learn how to cook, how to take care of himself. L never sleeps and near probably sleeps too much but mello needs a consistent, solid 7-8 hours a night or he starts getting cranky— the kind of person who functions better in the sunlight, to take from a fic i read recently.
i wonder how much of his life he remembers from before the orphanage. he seems like he might have emotional ties there, but something he’d never or only very rarely speak about— glimpses of a past life that keeps him up at night on occasion, where near is blessed with a complete lack of any earlier memories. mello just seems more inclined towards sentimentality like that, extreme in all his emotions, particularly when they’re utilized for the purpose of self-destruction. he wears a rosary, has a cross on his gun, chooses to die in a dilapidated church. good lord, he chooses to die in a church.
did he grieve matt? he apologizes, yes. but did he already know he was to join him so soon?
i desperately wish to see a version of mello who had the time to commit to his name and chill the fuck out for a while. get some meds, separate himself from the burdens of L, of the rivalry, and allow himself the chance to relax and breathe and properly heal. part of the reason why his death in particular hits me so hard is the fact that it all seems so possible with him, that he has the most potential to genuinely get over this shit— to not just stew in the corners of the earth and let time wash over him (like a certain someone), but actually, literally get his fucking life back.
he’s explosive, yes, he’s neurotic and emotional and lashes out at everyone and anyone he pleases— but in that same way, he’s honest. mello and near do not bullshit themselves in the ways that L and light do so consistently, they don’t bother lying to themselves or putting on airs about the kinds of people they are or the kinds of things they want. they know their place in the world, the expectations on their shoulders.
everybody likes thinking about “L wins” and “KIRA wins” scenarios, but you know what i really want to consider? what the fuck would mello winning look like? i mean, he’s a character whose primarily fucking trait is the fact that he loses, that he’s always second place. i almost feel like mello winning could’ve been one of the best case scenarios— because for mello to truly win, to not just overpower near and tell him to suck it (a situation which would not make mello legitimately happy, just put him in the same situation as light killing L), he’d have to get over the biggest hurdle of his own bullshit and legitimately grow as a person.
i yearn to see a near that got the chance to grow up with his other half, and a mello who got the chance to live for himself again. they deserve that: quiet afternoons to bitch at each other and argue over whatever book they decided to read that week, near whining about having to do chores and mello yelling at him to clean up his fucking legos, matt shaking his head in the corner.
get those kids a fucking happy ending.
#death note#astronaut rambles#really astronaut questions might be more applicable to this post HAHSKL#mello#sighhh#meronia#near#mihael keehl#minor additional point: i love how mello truly and honestly does not give a FUCK about light#like near is the one always talking to him and bitching at light to his face#mello simply kidnaps his sister and then goes tee hee and flutters his eyelashes at near while killing all his comrades and chucking the DN#into the sun#light is like. barely relevant to any of his shit he’s just annoying#hnnng mello being protective of near around light though is like. fuuuck#alright bedtime
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