#distrust of women

[falseandrealultravival]

"Mustafa 60" (verse)

悲しき６０歳（sad 60 year old）

In Kyu Sakamoto's song

There is a song by Mustafa, a Turkish youth.

He first saw a beautiful woman

Without his property, to receive her girlfriend.

He became a goldmine. He worked hard.

He became very rich and went to visit her.

She has been already 60 years old...

I can't laugh at Mustafa.

Many stories came to mind when I was young,

I broke up because of ``my lack of emotional preparation.''

In my case, my family environment was abnormal.

My mother, who became manic-depressive, had mental abuse against me.

My father, who was the cause of this, was unable to deal with it properly.

The psychiatric hospital where she was admitted also made a mistake.

Even if I find a woman I love,

My distrust of women had developed through my mother,

I just couldn't be honest with them.

Well, I'll be 60 next year too. I got to know better about women.

But I no longer have the wealth or energy to start a new family.

According to fortune-telling (kanji stroke count fortune-telling),

I am not blessed with a family.

「ムスタファ６０」（韻文）

坂本九の曲に

トルコの若者：ムスタファの歌がある。

彼は美女を見初めたが

財産のない彼、彼女を迎えるために

金の亡者になった。しゃかりきに働いた。

大金持ちになり、その娘を訪ねたところ、

彼女は６０歳になっていた・・・

私はムスタファを笑えない。

若い頃は浮いた話は幾つもあったが、

全て「私の“心の”準備不足」で別れた。

私の場合、若い頃の家庭環境が異常で

躁鬱病になった母は、私に精神的打撃を見舞った。

その原因だった父は、的確な対処が出来なかった。

母を入院させた精神病院も誤った処置をしたのだ。

私は好きな女性が出来ても、

母を介し女性不信の念が芽ばえていたので

どうしても彼女らに素直になれなかった。

さて、私も来年６０歳だ。対女性的に丸くなった。

でももはや家庭を新たに作る財産も気力もないのだ。

占いによれば（漢字の画数占い）、

私は「家庭に恵まれない」とあるらしい。

(2019.08.23)

[curseofdelos]

Thinking about the parallels and differences between Marie Levesque's relationship with Pluto and Maria di Angelo's relationship with Hades

In both flashbacks, we see Hades/Pluto trying to convince them to stay/go somewhere for their and their children's protection and both women refuse his request, but where those scenes differ is in how they respond to him

Maria is so patient and loving towards Hades. She never raises her voice, she repeatedly calls him my love, and yet is firm about not raising their children in the underworld. She only sees the good in Hades - calls him kind, generous, insists the other gods wouldn't be afraid of him if they saw him the way she does. She has unwavering faith that he will protect her, and won't allow any harm to come to Nico and Bianca. There is actual love there, and we get the sense that they did have a good relationship despite him being a god

Queen Marie, on the other hand, deeply resents Pluto. She's angry to the point of throwing and breaking things around her home, and blames him for all of their misfortune. It's Pluto's fault that Hazel is cursed, it's Pluto's fault that people around them are dying, it's Pluto's fault that the police thinks she's a murderer and her clients think she's a witch. Unlike Maria, Queen Marie doesn't believe that Pluto has ever protected them, nor does she want him to, not after how much he has ruined her and Hazel's life. There's little love there like with Maria and Hades, little trust - just bitter angry resentment.

And it makes sense that they would react so differently! We don't get the sense that Hades's godhood has affected Nico or Bianca in any tangible way (at this point, anyway). They're playing together when Hades visits Maria and seem happy. They're not cursed the way Hazel is. They don't have dangerous and harmful powers that they can't control (that we know of). Of course Queen Marie would resent Pluto in ways that Maria doesn't; the wish Pluto granted Queen Marie has actively made their life worse. The di Angelos were fine. The di Angelos were thriving. They had nothing to worry about until the Great Prophecy was issued, and Maria had no reason to believe that Hades couldn't protect them from Zeus when he had protected them thus far. He hadn't done anything to hurt her the way that Queen Marie believed Pluto hurt them.

But here's the thing though: Queen Marie was being manipulated by Gaia. Both she and Pluto tell Hazel that The Voice turned her against him. Just before Queen Marie and Pluto speak to each other in the first flashback, we see her push back against Gaia's request to go to Alaska precisely because Pluto told her it wasn't safe and that he wouldn't be able to protect her and Hazel there. Gaia was the one who convinced her that it was Pluto's fault that Hazel was cursed; after all, it's much easier to blame him than to admit to herself that it was her wish and her greed for "all the riches in the world" that lead to Hazel's predicament.

Gaia preyed on Queen Marie's frustration with herself and with Pluto to manipulate her into bringing Hazel to Alaska to raise her son from the earth. It was this manipulation that lead her to blowing up at Pluto when he tries to convince her to stay in New Orleans. Maria didn't hate Hades because the gods didn't torment her the way Gaia tormented Queen Marie.

Which raises the question: if Gaia hadn't messed with her head, would Queen Marie have loved and trusted Pluto the way Maria loved and trusted Hades? Could Pluto and the Levesques have played happy families the way the di Angelos did with Hades? It's more complicated because Gaia's absence would not have fixed Hazel's curse so it's entirely possible she still would have resented him, but I have to wonder:

Was there ever a world where the Levesques could have been happy?

[a-polite-melody]

Separatism is never the answer. All it does is make all of us more vulnerable, and create spaces full of isolated people who are much more easily manipulated and abused by bad-faith actors.

Queer unity is important for all of us.

[shsl-heck]

Thinking about the Chevalier interlude, specifically the inaugural team of Wards. Like in universe, they sell it to this first group of kids (and presumably the rest of the world) as a place for second chances, to find friends and mentors who understand what youre going through, where you can learn to use your powers safely while making good memories. The kids broadly seem to believe in these noble intentions of course, but what really gets me is that I've seen readers buy into it!

"Oh, it's such a tragedy that the Wards program became this awful thing that traumatizes kids even more, and expects them to die for the sake of civilians! It's fallen so short of what it was originally supposed to be!"

No it has not??? The fact that the triumvirate and Hero are saying it has this noble goal doesn't make it true. The Wards was pretty clearly always a way to increase the amount of bodies the prt could throw at threats, and we know this because it was started by the fucking Triumvirate as a part of the Protectorate! Alexandria literally came up with the idea of the Protectorate to legitimize the power of capes, and have a consistent source of heroes Cauldron could throw at problems. That is the whole reason for the PRT/Protectorate existing. So when we have this group of children brought in a subsidiary, there are 2 real options.

1). Cauldron and Alexandria decided they would be really niceys and created this program with no intentions other than helping these kids out.

Or 2). As things got worse, they realized the Protectorate didn't have enough manpower to do what they needed, and so they expanded it to include children (the demographic most prone to triggering). That way, they greatly increase the number of capes who they can send to fight and die as needed, and the ones who do survive their tenure in the Wards will be better trained when it comes time to join the actual Protectorate.

At the risk of sounding conceited, I think the second one is far more likely based on everything we know about Cauldron. Maybe it was originally a little nobler, and the goal was just to create more well trained heroes and cut back on young villains, but there's no way Alexandria, Doc Mom, and Contessa didn't factor in the ability to sacrifice the kid heroes if it improved their chances of success. That was absolutely a perk at minimum.

That's the real tragedy of the inaugural Wards. The kids were lured in with promises of safety, comraderie, and second chances like lambs to the slaughter. All the while, Alexandria and Cauldron knew that many (if not most) of these children would suffer abuse by the prt (like in the case of Reed), die, or face a fate worse than death like poor Mouse Protector. It's horrifying! The idea that they didn't know the danger these kids would be in is literally inconceivable. Especially when one of you is also the head of the prt! They knew, and they didn't care. It improved their chances at the end of the world, and so they did it no matter the cost.

[scrimblyscrorblo]

The sweetie babie of all time <33

Mitsuri put a lil tie in his hair, I love him w a ponytail I know I keep drawing him like that with a lil’ hair tie but it’s just so cute okay

[bonefall]

I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.

DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.

"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.

He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.

Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.

But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.

It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.

The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.

If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.

Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.

But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.

He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.

But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.

Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.

[onaperduamedee]

I don't know if it's show bias, but I struggle to understand the reading of Moiraine as someone who is so driven by her mission that she doesn't care.

From the get-go, she flees the White Tower for fear of ending up Queen of Cairhien and as cruel a leader as the rulers in her family, although it would have meant control and power;

Getting knocked down and unable to channel, she stabs a former teacher to stop her from killing innocents who have little to do with her mission;

She rushes to the Blight to bond Lan and keep him from basically killing himself, even if again it is a gamble, and later on, the bond transfer is about saving him, albeit cruelly;

She uses her body as a shield to hold off a Forsaken in order to help Rand, sustaining serious injuries in the fight, although her sacrifice is mostly useless considering how overpowered she is;

Many times, she heals villagers, soldiers, Aiel, wolves, sometimes until she is on the brink of passing out;

She fights Shadowspawns in Tear, in the Waste just as bravely as Lan, despite not being battle Ajah and often being surrounded by Aiel who can do the job by themselves;

She tackles Lanfear, toppling with her inside a collapsing ter'angreal, effectively dooming herself and cutting herself from the narrative, to help Rand, Egwene and Aviendha.

Obviously, you could argue that each of these actions would bring her an advantage and in acting so, she was only playing her part in the pattern, without a care for the people she was helping, but that's such an ungenerous reading of the character given what the text provides.

Her mindset is utilitarian and pragmatic, but to see her ever-present doubts, her growing despair and raging hope in Rand and still interpret her as uncaring is mind-boggling to me.

Her whole speech in TSR regarding "People [fighting] for you who do not know it, any more than you know them" tells of someone who believes saving the world will require a lot of collaboration and awareness of each other, not merely machinations and control.

She is a hard woman, but uncaring she is not.

[kingcunny]

interesting to me that you could maybe draw a line between jaehaerys misogyny back to being held visenyas hostage, into being on the run with his mother and alysanne. and yet he mimics visenyas iconic style with the long braid…

[tonycries]

Why cant men appreciate tall people like yall do 😭

[shoezuki]

natasha has been like. the first character other than sampo or gepard to ever be mentioned in this fic from the first ch and im happy shes finally here. cuz the relationship she n sampo got going on is So Interesting to me. i mean in game sampo is very intriguing to me like theres obviously some level of trust there and a mutual respect considering nat trusts sampo to do jobs for her and sampo goes to her when the trailblazers are in trouble. and him bringing natasha medicine is kinda huge considering his 'selfish' character. like. i dig them having a major mutual understanding and trust towards one another that goes into being protective of each other. i love their situationship

but also i just now realized that. all the other characters in this fic besides sampard will be women and every woman introduced so far has yelled at or at least argued w gepard at some point. lets go girls

[watermelinoe]

i had to disclose my medical information every semester to every instructor because i had instructors who wouldn't give me accommodations unless they judged for themselves whether i deserved them and student disability services would not advocate for me, so with that in mind i think it's a terrible shame when institutions can't be trusted to collect private medical information and make fair and responsible decisions, resulting in the public demanding that information for themselves

[sir-adamus]

the last scene with Ironwood in volume 2 really showcases how much of a prick he actually is

[vainvex]

as a transmasc, i do think it's important to talk abt transphobia we experience, but honestly, the moment a post about it is tagged w trans/ndroph/bia (and especially transmis/ndry) i just roll my eyes and scroll away. it is transphobia. it isn't oppression for being a man, it's for not being what we were coercively assigned as, and frequently those who claim it IS because they're men are also blatant and vocal transmisogynists. it isn't a coincidence that a significant number of the posts i've seen tagged as that also tend to make a point that boils down to "how DARE trans women talk primarily about their OWN experiences first, dont they know I, A MAN, have it WORSE?" and it's like....

why is your response to transfems talking about their own oppression, to make a big fuss about how that doesn't matter because bad things also happen to you for being trans? it has nothing to do with them. you can talk about the transphobia you experience without making it clear that you think what transfems experience is inherently less important or terrible, or somehow an attack on YOU when they talk about it. if you feel so called out when they discuss transmisogyny, then maybe analyse why that is and fix your fucking hearts.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

it's truly abysmal how shipping fandom has reduced the concept of compulsory heterosexuality / comphet (in all its complex, at times fraught, history as a political and theoretical concept) down to "a character I want to be in a femslash ship is not in a femslash ship"

the concept exists as a radical feminist, typically political lesbian and feminist separatist (more on that later), critique of real-world patriarchy and male power over women's sexuality, agency, creativity, freedom, and relationships in a way that prevents women from having fulfilling, enriching, and dynamic relationships with other women of all types for the purposes of isolating them and forcibly re-focusing their energy into controlling heterosexual relationships and reduces women solely to objects for male desire and power

compulsory heterosexuality also is actually not a fully accepted critique or lens, particularly in the way that it is applied and articulated within political theory, as it's been criticized for its generally rigid adherence to gender binary and conceptualization of strict gender roles and for its lack of intersection with individuals who function or identify outside of gender binary. it has also encountered criticism in how it articulates sexual orientation and politics through gender alone, and does not make a lot of room for other axes of sexual identity, politics, and other factors of identity.

it is also important to understand that the the concepts of "compulsory heterosexuality" and "heteronormativity" are actually somewhat different concepts discussing a similar area (different emphasis, different history, different political associations), and that the concept of compulsory heterosexuality is a core and critical tenet of the feminist separatist movement and political lesbianism, which urges that all women (even those who are not wlw) should and must choose to eschew all relationships with men in all contexts.

in that context, with the relationship of compulsory heterosexuality to feminist separatism and political lesbianism, it actually does worry me that many shipping fandoms who are fixated on this concept constantly say essentially "icb this woman is attracted to a man at all, it's comphet" bc there is a very real connection between this concept and the idea that all women should simply choose never to fuck men, that women have a political responsibility to excise men from all aspects of their lives, to view all men as their enemies, and that any woman with any relationship (of any type) with a man is complicit in her own oppression (which, I won't unpack here why this is horrific, bc this is too long as is and too concise articulation will be misconstrued, but it is Yikes, to put it lightly).

I do actually find it alarming how some shipping fandoms that constantly cry "comphet!" are consistently incredibly angry about the idea ANY woman will have a relationship with or be attracted to a man and believe that EVERY woman should choose to be a lesbian and eschew all relationships with men in the exact political pattern.

the concept of compulsory heterosexuality in queer and feminist spaces is actually very complex, and at times very fraught within the academic and political discourse, and it's actually really insane and in some measure alarming what shipping fandom is doing with it

[nudibutch]

anyway thank you baldurs gate 3 for supporting homosexuals everywhere

[red-hemlock]

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

OC Emoji Asks @babydxhl

A couple! Aside from the whole 'I kill people for my bread and bills' thing she has going-on, definitely the bloodlust associated with it... Just another lovely trait she had instilled into her from back home; and it's what prevented her from going completely straight when she first came to Gotham. River won't really admit it, but she enjoys the act of killing far more than she lets-on, and really the only things keeping her from stepping-off the cliff into serial killer-land is the small code she has, her having a decent enough rein on it, and the fact that the 'itch' can be scratched all she likes on her jobs.

Even when working she tends to hold herself 'back', with the murder itself usually being enough to satisfy; but once a job starts to get lengthy and the blood and adrenaline really start flowing, those reins loosen and the monster comes-out to play.

Another would be the fact that she can't 'accept' the lye scarring as being a part of herself, considering those scars in particular more a curse than anything. In a way, they kind-of are. River spent her entire life in service to her family, to her grandmother in particular, who twisted her love into a horrible dependence that became a codependence in the end. River believed her grandmother loved her enough to want to see her happy with Jamey, but Grandma Locke found it to be a betrayal instead; and had the entire family participate in Jamey's murder and the scarring with the lye, telling River that now she would have to stay with them, as she would never be able to successfully live in society looking the way she did now.

All River see's when she looks in the mirror is that night playing on repeat, and that woman's words ringing in her ears. It absolutely drives her up the wall.

Taking the lye scars into consideration, River's most destructive physical tendency actually involves them, too. The wounds never healed correctly in the first place, and the constant exposure to the make-up River wears and chemicals she works with for her poisons have not helped either. These particular scars are prone to severe itching, and she tends to get into a vicious cycle of scratching and re-scratching them... But part of her also does it as a 'self-punishment' of sorts, for trusting her family and getting Jamey killed for it.