#discussion post will be out tomorrow! just wanted to put my stuff out here first so i can link it there :)

[bit-club]

my notes on week one :)

i luv these first three chapters: the first two set up our dual timelines while the third sets up our main characters & their fears and personalities.

after the flood is a great opening scene to establish setting and our monster. one of my favorite details abt this chapter is how it change’s it’s appearance to mimic georgie’s mother and bill to manipulate him. i also like how georgie is the first one to call pennywise ‘it,’ not because he knew about the clown but because pennywise is the same kind of monster you imagine under your bed or in your closet as a child, the one that constantly lurks, hungry.

i also like this section because it’s our first example of the child vs adult mindset that ends up being so crucial to the end of the story— adults worry about murderers and communists because those are so obviously real, while children still have the imagination and fear of being eaten alive by the thing in the basement.

after the festival is so interesting because it shows how derry, what it is, and how the people there feel about it.

resignation vs disgust. these cops have lived in derry all their lives but they’re still shocked when hagarty exclaims what they all know to be true. it’s less turning a blind eye and more willingly accepting it, because this is how it is and this is how it will always be. this blasé attitude is also shown in this earlier excerpt:

this is how it is. ignore the worst of it because this is just how it is. and many of those ‘gory old things’ have living witnesses; mike hanlon will later interview men who were involved in the bradley gang shootout. none of this is ancient history, it happened to your parents and grandparents. but that’s just how it is here (also love how this small section sets up mike’s historic knowledge!)

after the flood was based on the true murder of charlie howard in bangor, maine in 1984.

next we get six phone calls, our introduction to our seven lucky characters. some things i found interesting about each section:

stan knew that this was going to happen, he remembered more than everyone other than mike, and it seems he knew what he was going to do.

neil young reference from the epigraph that i love. out of the blue and into the black. i also like how stan’s character is defined by his reliance on reality; when something doesn’t compute he can’t handle it, and he is no longer a child who could accept and move past the horror. his death is so important to me because the whole chapter sets him up as a successful, logical, and loving man. he’s good at his job, he’s thinking about the future, he really cares about his wife. this man would not kill himself… and then he does. this is the terror we’re facing, the kind that destroys the rational mind (georgie’s sanity was similarly destroyed in ‘one clawing stroke).

i also like this foreshadowing:

stan’s scene is followed by richie’s.

sorry always have to post the richie thesis statement. he’s so wrapped up in his voices (he even uses one when talking to mike on the phone) that’s it’s obvious they’re a manifestation of his own self-hate. i also like how deeply scared he is while looking into his safe, realizing how easy it is to destroy a life— one match, or one lighter, and you’re done. another notable thing is that rather than first remembering his friends or even pennywise richie remembers the bullying he experienced; he felt hated enough that he hated himself too, and still does despite the success he’s achieved as a radio host. his music collection and knowledge is expanse, and he mentions always having something playing— in fact one of the first things he does after the phone call is throw a record on and turn it up— and to me that’s a person who can’t stand a moment alone in his head.

guys i think we’re going out of the blue and into the black

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/05/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Samba Schutte BTS; Extended Battle Jacket Scene; Alex Sherman and his Butt; Rhys Darby; UK Crew Billboard Meetup; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight/Podcasts; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

= Samba BTS Explosion =

Most of you have probably seen it by now, but Samba posted the longer version of the Battle Jacket scene that Ruibo mentioned yesterday in the WJW interview.

= Alex Sherman =

Samba also gave us some more BTS Videos, but tumblr won't let me upload more than one video at a time per post, so here they are on separate posts:

Alex Sherman BTS Part 1: Buttox Guy

Alex Sherman BTS Part 2: Buttox Guy and Arm Guy

BTS OFMD Extras

== Rhys Darby ==

Well with no context, my only thought is maybe Rhys is going to be playing Dungeons of Eternity next on his youtube channel! I guess we'll see.

== Taika Waititi Kudoboard!==

Several lovely crew-mates have been putting together a Kudosboard for our dear Taika Waititi!

Please add your kind words, well wishes, thanks, or other positive thoughts for Taika! We will share the link with him on Wednesday, March 13.

Please note that this board is moderated and inappropriate comments will be removed immediately.

https://ofmdlove.kudoboard.com/boards/Mi5DxyBL#view

== UK Crew ==

The UK Billboard has been scheduled for 11 Mar!

Tumblr / Instagram / Twitter

== Watch Party Reminders ==

= A League Of Their Own =

Tomorrow the 6th is ALOTO Episodes 4-5, and then OFMD 4-5 Time: 1-4PM EST/6-9PM GMT Where: You can watch ALOTO on Amazon Prime

Watch Party Hashtags:

OurFlagMeansBaseball, 

SaveOFMD 

SaveALOTO to join the event!

= Mar 4 - Mar 8: Wrecked Season 1 =

Don't have access? DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 1 watch from March 4th to March 8th. 

Season 2 watch from March 11th to March 15th. 

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd.

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Never Left Podcast =

Never Left Artwork by Amy Gleason

Episode 007 Beautiful Princess Disorder (Part 1)

Our lovely crew-mates over at the Never Left Podcast are delving into BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder or Beautiful Princess Disorder) and how it relates to Edward Teach. Very interesting and kind discussion of BPD and it's coming in multiple parts. I'm so happy that we have a safe-space-ship to discuss this.

Never Left Podcast Linktr.ee

= Cast Cards =

Today's new Trading Card is Will Arnett! Thank you @melvisik for giving us more and more to collect!

== WB is removing stuff from Etsy ==

FYI to all you sellers out there on Etsy. Thanks @ofmdfanpage for this info.

== Love Notes ==

Hey Lovelies. It's that time again to take a moment for yourself, and do a quick self-care check.

First: Have you had any water lately? Anything to eat?

Whatever you're doing, take a minute to get yourself a glass of water, maybe a small snack, the rest will be there when you get back. I know it feels like you absolutely CANNOT stop what you're doing, or you won't get back to it, but I promise you, unless what you're doing is literally life-saving (like open-heart surgery) or you're in the middle of driving a bus full of people, it can wait a couple minutes.

I know you're strong enough to push through and keep going, but you deserve a break. You deserve a minute or two to yourself.

Second: Time to take a deep breath.

Remember to hold it just for a second or two and take your time breathing it out.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Great job :)

Today I was reminded of a short meditation poem by Thich Nhat Hanh on breathing that used to help me get through rough days and I wanted to share it with you-- with each line, breathe in and out slowly. Here's more on it if you're interested: Meditation Poem

In, Out Deep, Slow Calm, Ease Smile, Release Present Moment, Wonderful Moment

Right now, you're the wonderful, present being. You're alive, you're breathing, and you're kicking ass. It's fucking tough out there sometimes, and it's okay to struggle, just don't ever forget how incredibly unique and wonderful you are.

Infinite numbers of events, random meetings, and stars colliding led up to the imperfect, glorious you, and you're still here, shining with us (whether dim or bright tonight).

Love you crew. Whatever challenges you're facing, know we're here for you. Reach out if you need us <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme is THAT STASH.

Taika Src: @skux-life Rhys Srs: @fandomsmeantheworldtome

[squishious]

ok i'd apologize to you & everyone else for only blogging about myself and my friends tonight but actually that would be un-sincere because i love my friends so so so much and all of life is about love. anyway here's a long summary of css :

-1. the context: luna @hanjoonhwi got to know mika through me and @ramonapest and so she'd discover old stuff progressively and one day she found css and made it her whole personality (read: blog) because she did that often (for a while she was tomorrowlive because she loved live performances of tomorrow, etc etc etc) and so she saved the url cokestudiostardust or i did. and then we had the fantastic idea of both changing our urls to something super similar to each other for a little while just to confuse the 12 mika blogs here (a small group of which are commonly referred to as "the rodents" due to the existance of an almost-dead discord server that i would like to bring back alive and that you could probably be added to, where we discuss mika) ANYWAY sorry for the slight detour. so yes that was the plan. and then we were like wait we need to include rory (because we had a tiny groupchat called "mouaylor tshirts" <- more lore there but basically luna wanted a mika x taylor x louis collab and rory made a fake poster that i put on redbubble models and so we made a groupchat to discuss business and then ended up being besties). so yes back to the main story. we text rory and we're like hey do you wanna join us in this wild scheme? she was like what scheme? we said say yes or no because we cant tell you unless you're joining. she said yes and we told her everything and also she was moving that same weekend... so it was insane of her to contribute. but yes that's the end of this part

0. the prep: so we saved css url, and 2 typo css urls. picked an icon header and background colour for the blog (#facade pink) and then the point was to confuse people so we didn't want them to be able to scroll adn figure out easily which one is rory vs luna vs me. so what we did is we made rory (?) i think (?) post a link to the css yt video. then we each reblogged it privately to our blogs about 100 times in preparation and then didn't blog until the day of. the day of we unprivated all the posts, so basically if you wanted to see any posts before you'd need to scroll for so long. and we changed our urls (i dont remember who was which url) and icons and headers and colours and made our blogs only available on phone so you couldnt go to archive to figure out who was who. also we had the same blog titles (coke studio stardust) and bios.

1. phase 1: we basically went around blogging normally as if nothing happened, but also sending asks to common mutuals and each others mutuals (ex: "hiii squish!! how are you???") and all of us sending them, to create confusion. did that for about 24 hours. but the thing is we sent the exact same asks and reblogged all the same posts with the same tags. luna and i even managed to confuse rory's sibling and like long-time friend on here. a mika blog @grayskelly we didnt know at the time (but v knows) just joined us (same blog appearance etc) and became our immediate bestie, hence creating the famous and iconic @h-isforhome "big day in mika fandom" post (the first one in the image post you reblogged). also we followed any mutuals that we mutuals with 2 but not 3 of us (pretending we accidentally unfollowed) in prep for phase 2

2. phase 2: (my favourite phase) we "apologized" etc for our behaviour and said we are switching back. BUT we lied (celebrity apology video style), and what we did is switch to each other's!! blogs. so i was luna and luna was rory and rory was me. and it actually fooled people due to all the followings in phase 1 and it being practically impossible to go to posts pre may 15. this phase particularly drove people insane (luna and i were competing over who would lose the most followers, rory somehow was gaining followers). but yes basically we blogged exactly lik each other, tagging systems etc, spoke like each other (hashtag true bestiehood), and sent even more asks. the middle 2 pics are examples of such interactions after we finally switched back to the real us, making all the posts hilariously funny. one common mutual thought that was was going on was that we had logged into each other's accounts. another was like ahh i got you. x is pretending to be y and y is [etc etc], getting it all wrong and we were like ah yes! you got us! so true!. i think @thirteens-earring still hates us for may 16.... we were sending each other messages being like hi v this is rory! etc and v eventually figured out who was who but the whole time was sending us murderous threats + at one point luna was like hi rory this is v! to v, which was funny. anyway i think lizzie @dionysuswearsanorangetracksuit was the first one to catch on what was going on (like super early that day) and texted me and h about it but i made them promise they wouldn't explain to everyone what was going on.

everyone was like ah hahah ha hilarious right. you guys are done right. no really. you are done right. please please say you're done. and so, this is what we did after:

3. phase 3 prep: rory and luna collected the best posts through screenshots, i opened photoshop with a normal canvas size and started adding them and making the canvas bigger and bigger, ending up with a photoshop file of 16359x22200 pixels, it took me and rory 2 computers, 3 photoshop versions, and about 1 hour to export that as 4 pngs.

4. phase 3: on may 17 we changed all our blog titles to "phase 3", posted that image, and everyone was like hey guys. whats phase 3 whats going on pls explain. and to this day no one knows what phase 3 is <3 we will not say unless someone guesses

anyway if you've read all this thank you so much in indulging me and listening to me talk nonsense about friendship shenanigans (<- idk how to spell in english but i might have gotten it right). it was truly a wild time where rory was normal and luna and i were unhinged and drove rory into our unhingeness. i miss it incredibly and i wanna do more of that with you and them and all my little computer friends. or maybe we could jsut have a sleepover. idk but all i know is that if i knew you all in real life we would have the best laughs and the best times of our lifes and we'd just have so much fun. like if all of you bring this much joy in my life just by resharing the same posts as each other and replying to each other, imagine what it would feel like if we could all have a picnic or a roadtrip or just a day out at the mall even.... anyway this is getting sappy and i need to go to bed. ty for reading or sorry!!!!! now that we're friends i'll invite you next time we plan an international cyber-prank

HELLO OKAY !!!! apologies 2 my followers in advance but i need to immortalise this bc truly. this is the pinnacle of careful throughtful tomfoolery i'm very impressed

first off i'm all for the resuscitation of mika discord there really are sooo few of us on here !! mouaylor collab would be incredible and i need to see this shirts if they exist lmfao. also doing this while moving u are SO STRONG thats incredible !!!

anyways again the amount of thought that went into this.....the reblogged posts the turning off web view the following each others mutuals.....i would trust u to pull of a heist i think. sounds like a wild day and yesss would love to participate in international cyber pranks or sleepovers (or both simultaneously) w u all !!! truly i think that we'd have the most wonderful time if we knew each other irl the shenanigans and vibes would be unmatched <3 (i am living in constant fear of phase 3 now. its gonna haunt my every click on this site)

[waitmyturtles]

Alright. I’m all caught up on The Eighth Sense. WHOA. Whoa. WHOA. Good. Lord. 

First off, before all the theories: this is obviously a really fantastic show, by way of the soundtrack; the use of silence; the cinematography and very varied filming styles; the use of LIGHT and lighting; the film editing and smart, sharp editing cuts (more on this in a sec), and the utterly, UTTERLY amazing acting. CHOPS, we are seeing CHOPS in a show that’s just reducing the usual K-drama tropes to DUST. WOW, KOREA. KOREA SHOWED THE HELLLLLLL UP for this one. This is like zeitgeist-level stuff.

And, oh my god. The kissing scene in the waves. The scene in bed. My heart was taken away. The last scenes, the storm coming in, the waves getting higher and higher, Jae Won yelling Ji Hyun’s name. WHOA.

I know from what I’ve reblogged so far that these points are all being discussed, and I have yet to really dig into the tag because I need to process all of this out in writing first, so I’ll do tag and conversation-digging over the rest of today and tomorrow and re-group with the fam. But working in part from my last post after episode 5, I’ll offer a couple thoughts and theories now, because I just need to get them down, whoa. 

I want to set some macro context for myself first, to kind of do a journey map on my understanding of Jae Won. From the start, his friends talk about how Jae Won’s dad is a big shot. Jae Won’s life is supposedly set: if you know about chaebol, you’ll know how controversial it is in Korea (many, MANY K-dramas feature chaebol, including Crash Landing On You and the much more recent Why Her?). It’s controversial because, of course, you always wonder if the "right” people are taking over a business, not by way of merit or talent, but only by way of inheritance (peep the “nutgate” incident with Korean Air as an example) (it’s INSANE) (chaebol is INSANE).

So Jae Won’s friends are, in my view, seething with jealousy that Jae Won has his life set. His dad is prepping Jae Won to take over. Jae Won is rich, good-looking, smart, and the ladies love him. 

That’s a lot of pressure for Jae Won. Putting together that his younger brother died, and he’s seeing a therapist, and that it was his parents that had originally sent him to therapy, and it’s indicated that he’s drug-dependent: I do believe, as many of the fam does, that what we’re watching in many of these scenes are dissociations and/or hallucinations. I do believe that, particularly by way of how the show is edited, with REALLY sharp cuts, scenes ending awkwardly and jumpily, scenes filmed in really fuzzy and weirdly lit ways, and threading pieces of scenes together in inconsistently-told ways. The hand-holding scene on the outdoor steps earlier in the series, and how it’s changed by a quick edit when the guys are shown NOT holding hands while walking on the sidewalk right after. I feel like the editing of the show serves as a correction for the jumps happening in Jae Won’s mind and memory.

I offered a theory in my last post that Jae Won might not have gone to the military at all while he was out of school -- that he was instead institutionalized. I set that theory in part on his therapist referencing a previous hospital stint, and on something he said in episode 4: “I just came back from the army. My sense is not on point.” When I first heard him say that, it didn’t smell right to me, as I thought that acclimating back to society after the military was more common for Korean men as almost all Korean men have to get drafted. But I’ve changed my mind somewhat after convos with the wonderful @emotionallychargedtowel and @stl29tide in the comments of that post, with ECT mentioning in part that it’s very common for returning soldiers to experience difficulties while re-acclimating back to society.

So I’m now caught between two theories here, and I wonder if either can be applicable.

Theory 1) I do still think it’s plausible that Jae Won didn’t go to the military while he was away from school -- I think it’s plausible that he could have been institutionalized, but I’m less sure about that now, after the convos with ECT and S2T (thank you BOTH for your insights!). 

Theory 2) Jae Won DID indeed go to the military, but his difficulties re-acclimating -- VERY MUCH ALONG with his other present issues -- have contributed to a serious dissociation episode in episode 6. This is likely more plausible.

Both theories are linked by yet another opinion. I believe that when Jae Won woke up after his bender in episode 5, he dissociated after his dad began knocking on his door and yelling. I’m not sure if the camera breaking was in the dissociation or in reality, but I believe the entire beach trip in episode 6 was part of the dissociation triggered by Jae Won’s dad and the pressures that Jae Won’s dad represents. I believe the utterly gorgeous filming style, the lighting, the weird jump to sleeping inside on a bed from the beach, the inconsistent scenes from morning on the beach, to surfing, to sex, to surfing again, to possible drowning -- I believe all of that is meant to be representative of dissociation.

Whew. Okay. Another theory. I do believe that Jae Won’s dad/family sent Jae Won to therapy in high school, possibly after his little brother’s death. I also still believe, as I posited in my last post, that Jae Won’s therapy could be a form of conversion therapy. Why do I think this?

(I just want to say that I keep repeating “I believe” because, y’all -- I totally think this entire series could be one big dissociation. Fight Club-like. So I’m trying to grasp at what I think is real-ish by indicating those factors as such.)

I can’t find it.... damn it, I can’t find it, but someone posted about the bed scene, and how Ji Hyun seemed more comfortable than Jae Won in bed. How Ji Hyun actually seemed/seems more comfortable in his queerness than Jae Won. (If anyone can link me to that post, I would be forever grateful!)

That REALLY got me thinking. I thought that was SO SMART, and I rewatched the scene to confirm that I agree there, which I do. 

Another piece of evidence to this theory, as I mentioned in the comments of that last post, is when the therapist says in episode 5: as Jae Won talks about Ji Hyun (or....at least....we *think* he’s talking about Ji Hyun), the therapist says “I hope you can build a good relationship without crossing the line.”

Now. BEFORE episode 6, where Jae Won talked about his little brother, I wondered why Jae Won was in therapy. It was STATED that he was there because of high school pressures. But the ways in which that therapist has been presented have been so weird. Like in episode 1 -- in only the SECOND scene of the entire series -- we see the therapist joking around, saying “For God’s sake, just tell me what your worries are!” and then giggling. I mean -- um, maybe they have a good rapport, but that’s definitely not how *I* learned how a therapist should act in grad school, ha. (I’d LOVE @emotionallychargedtowel‘s thoughts on the therapist’s bedside manner if you’re up to it -- no pressure at all.)

After putting together the chaebol deal with Jae Won’s dad, and that his family sent him to therapy in high school, and that the therapist talked about him being in a hospital in episode 5, AND that line about “[not] crossing a line” -- all of this screams to me of Jae Won’s family trying to “set him straight,” if you will. I seriously wonder.... if Jae Won became drug dependent vis à vis his therapist because his family needs him to be “normal” to take over the family business. I wonder if Jae Won, with EVERYTHING he might be holding -- from his queerness, to potential guilt related to his little brother, to the PRESSURES of being the family heir -- was either PUSHED to be drug dependent to fall in line, or has fallen into addiction as a result of those pressures.

I... would not put either of these theories past a domineering chaebol family.

Finally. After re-watching the very first scene of the series, and the very last scene of episode 6, and seeing how they’re the same, it all seriously makes me wonder if everything that we’ve seen so far is one big dream sequence. 

IN OTHER WORDS, Y’ALL. HOLY SHIT. Anything and everything is possible in this absolute MASTERPIECE of a show.

Other quick notes before I stop:

1) I stan Joon Pyo and Ae Ri -- MVPs. They care for our boy! (....if Ji Hyun even exists.)

2) Jung Seo In, who plays Ji Hyun’s boss, was also in Where Your Eyes Linger (I knew I recognized her!).

3) I’ve seen so many posts referencing the AMAZZZZINNNGGG music of this show, placed and edited SO WELL, and I just want to say that I am loving all the analyses.

Okay, phew, that’s all I got. I’m on the train with y’all for the rest of this ride. 

(@lurkingshan, tag tag!)

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 14

my last update wasn't a very informative one, so I'm going to try to talk a bit more about what's been going on lately in this post! I'll make some bolded headers for different topics I discuss in case there's anything in particular you do or don't care about.

weight update

I haven't had the best few weeks. I've been eating kind of like an asshole - ordering doordash a lot, started (and stopped) drinking alcohol again, etc. however, I've been back on track for a bit now, and I'm down to a new low weight of 347.7 lbs (down from my april hw of 390 lbs and my july 9th sw of 380 lbs). this means I'm a little over 30 lbs down in three months! losing at a rate of 10 lbs/month is great, and I'm really happy with the progress I've been making.

medication update

I'm still taking 20 units of compounded semaglutide a week, which I think (based on the concentration of my meds) is equivalent to the 1.0 mg dose of the actual stuff. I plan on staying on 20 units for a while, maybe throughout my next vial of medication (which should last about 10 weeks at 20 units/week), then I might discuss with my doctor going up a bit if I feel like I need it. I think the therapeutic dose of wegovy for weight loss is 1.7 mg or 2.4 mg, so I'm still technically below the therapeutic dose, but it's been working fine and I don't want to jump up in dose too soon if it's not necessary.

struggling with knowing when to stop eating on semaglutide (tw: vomiting)

something I've been struggling with is getting used to my new stomach and fullness cues. I never really had fullness cues until starting semaglutide, so I have a hard time knowing exactly when to stop eating. this means I often eat slightly too much, and then immediately have to go vomit - not self-induced, but just too much in my stomach that my body rejects it. I've been vomiting a few times a week from eating a little too much during my regular meals, which is something that really bothers me. so now I'm trying to be more mindful of portion sizes, how much I put on my plate, and unlearning being part of the "clean plate club." I always feel the need to finish everything I put on my plate, but I need to realize that it's okay if I save some leftovers for later or even throw away the rest of my food when I'm full.

sobriety struggles

as for the alcohol that I mentioned earlier, I bought a big bottle of vodka a week or two ago and thought "I can just have a little bit here and there, and it'll be fine!" without realizing that I am not in fact a queen of moderation when it comes to alcohol. after one evening of drinking my usual (large) amount, I woke up at 1 am with a headache, tummy ache, heartburn, etc., and I just thought to myself "I hate this and it's not worth it." when I woke up in the morning, I poured the rest of my vodka down the drain. I don't need it. it's not good for me mentally. it's not good for my weight loss journey.

exercise

I want to start exercising regularly again! for a while, I was struggling with back pain and sciatica, causing me to lose feeling in my right leg if I walked too far, which scared me out of going for walks. I didn't want to get hurt from falling. however, that pain has disappeared now! I've gone for a few walks this past week, with each walk being between 1.5 and 2.5 miles in distance, and I love it. I also plan on starting up yoga again to hopefully help with my flexibility and mobility, as well as for mental health benefits. I plan on using the underbelly website (which promotes yoga for people in all bodies with an emphasis on accessibility) for yoga at home a couple of days a week, and I even signed up for a gentle yoga class at a wellness center near my house! my first class is supposed to be tomorrow night, but I might have to skip it - unfortunately I have come down with a cold, and I'm not feeling too hot right now.

new doctor

I received a devastating email a few weeks ago saying that my primary care physician (who I have worked with for years and who I adore) will no longer be accepting my insurance in 2025. my doctor and the physician's assistant have been so supportive and incredible, both while on my weight loss journey and even when I was struggling with weight gain. they're healthcare practitioners who are supportive of my weight loss journey without being fatphobic or condescending about my weight. so, learning that I need to find a new doctor was devastating and scary. I did a lot of research and found a couple of doctors who seem to have very good reviews and are consistently described as kind and compassionate, so I have a new patient appointment with one of these other doctors in a couple of weeks. I hope she's as supportive as my last doctor. I'm kind of scared about starting off fresh with a new doctor, especially since I used this opportunity to switch to a doctor with a different hospital affiliation, which means she won't have automatic access to my old records. so when I go to weigh in for the first time with my new doctor, they're just going to see that I'm 300+ lbs, not the fact that I've already lost 40+ lbs. I hope to get them up to speed, but it's still a bit daunting. I hope everything goes well with this transition.

where do I go from here?

I'm going to keep on truckin! I'm going to try to limit how often I order doordash, and try to make healthier choices when I do. I'm going to avoid alcohol. I'm going to continue going for walks when the autumn weather is nice and start practicing yoga a few days a week. I'm going to try to get a little better about drinking my water on workdays. I'm going to try to post more in the discord weight loss groups I'm a part of for support since sometimes being on a weight loss journey can feel a little lonely. and I'm just going to keep marching forward!

[acourtofquestions]

Okay so my week is only getting less conducive to reading & posting so here’s some reaction spam of random round ups throughout ToD & KoA as fast as my thumbs can type them & whatever my brain recalls cause I’ve gotta squeal this out before I implode & then go try to sleep so I don’t fully make tomorrow miserably impossible & long😂

The line in ToD about Nesryn’s nieces & nephews being the light of her life gets me every time🥹😭 I love how we got to see & meet her family, I love how that led to her further connection with Sartaq, I love how his family was close enough to stop with the whole ritualistic murder thing

Chaol’s arc was so well done I have so many thoughts but mostly my old CoM self is just glad to be back here AND YRENE TOWERS MY WYRD I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER literally just I LOVE HER and I want a Baast cat

Inaccessibility being one of the biggest issues is such a relatable real world problem like how have people with magic not figured this out yet I wonder the same thing everytime I go somewhere that doesn’t have ramps handicap parking sign translators etc

Chaol recognizing Celaena’s handwriting and then telling Yrene the story will forever be such a 🥹 moment

The way he healed was beautiful too, the chapter facing Aelin, the discussions with Yrene

And again just AGAIN everything about Yrene

And Nesryn who is so underrated and I just want the world for our Empress queeeeen

The tiny Easter eggs leading to everything essentially rounding up the series to Aelin doing small acts of kindness that come full circle and save everyone is so beautiful

I hate Maeve, I am now claustrophobic, and having my old Peeta days come back to me from HG

Those were some of the most painful chapters I’d ever read

Aelin def knows somethings up with Maeve and the Valg

Dorian planning to take the price is horrifying and yet also comforting and yet horrifying and the two of them plotting it out is making me nervous

KALTAINS GHOST

Dorian and Manon are absolute gold

Them and the thirteen — I mean this content is just fantastic — we’re getting some great Vesta moments

The new power is also interesting & cool

I know Aedion’s hurting but wow could you be anymore of an asshole towards Lys? Look what she did was horrible (mostly cause the whole let’s make the world think you married your cousin thing is wrong on so many levels) that aside she was just doing what HER queen said she loves Aelin she didn’t want this either and he needs to deal with his own shit and stop putting it on Lysandra I mean LYSANDRA OF ALL PEOPLE CAN THE WOMAN GET A BREAK

Darrow I hate you still

Nox I’m still not over you being back thanks buddy I missed ya

Lorcan finding Aelin first and sobbing in relief has so much depth to it I’m gonna have to discuss later

Even their bickering it’s a bit of a relief to have the spark and almost normal… not forgiven just better I guess

And then him saying he already thought Elide was powerful and he crawled for Aelin not Maeve

And all the I CARE ABOUT YOU scenes with SO MANY OF THEM we got Manorian we got Elorcan we still got Rowaelin now we got platonic stuff with Fenrys the list GOES ON

Curious what Rens figuring out cause someone’s gotta be figuring out the whole isn’t Aelin thing and I have a feeling his Lysandra obsession is more than that

Glad to see sweet Evangeline again… I’ll feel better when we get so safe Fleetfoot comes home

Anxious over my war side babies cause there REALLL deep in the bad stuff

The one thing I CAN thank SJM for is not making Fenrys hurt Aelin I spend half the time terrified that was gonna be the next play though the freaky dreams were a whole new level of fucked up not to mention the fact they stole her scars because that’s how mutilated she was and now she’s foreign to herself and my heart hurts

Also the do not yield scene😭

And Fireheart being my new fav all time term of endearment

And their (Fenrys & Aelin) blinking code … honestly I need to put it on a bookmark for frequent translation

And again Fenrys who btw BABE WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME I ABOUT LOST IT WHEN I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD BUT HE BROKE THE OATH FOR HER AND THEN THEIR HUG AND ALL OF IT AND ALSO

I started wondering the same thing about could you double oath it and cancel it out so I finally got my oath answer and lost it again because the iron “take it off” scene… idk which even came first just ow and then LIVE.

The moment Aelin realizes it’s really Rowan

And then he says can I hold you

And then that he’d love her even if she never got back to who she was

And then she’s still storing power away and a half living inferno and probably gonna go save the day

and she’s trying but she doesn’t know what’s real but Fenrys reminded her and she’s trying so hard

And she got the rings

And the I’m so tired Rowan line that broke me again

And the beautiful things glowworm starry night

Then there’s again Elide and Lorcan

The impending Morath

Dorian and Manon shenanigans

All these sub plots I’m sure are gonna be a big deal

Chaol hasn’t even caught up yet

And Yrene is PREGNANT?!

And I still can’t wait for them all to meet

And then AGAIN with the little folk

And the crown of Mab though now it’s kinda got bad vibes tbh

And all the queenlyness Aelin STILL is

And the scene where Rowan sees what would’ve been his children and her seeing how he would’ve been her mate either way

And then her hair being too long and the tattoos gone and this terribly long list

And him coming for her And her thinking he wouldn’t and his words on that

Aelin telling Rowan she didn’t break

Rowan calling Fenrys brother

Elides wisdom always saving the day

Lysandra becoming Wivern and so many things to save them all

Finally meeting the bane

Chaol going back to Anielle

Connall who we barely got to know and idk what was even real

And now no one knows where Maeve or mystery last cadre is

Ugh I need more time but alas this is the round up to shortly delve into more cause I do have annotations lol

Okay this has been fangirl screaming in Wyvern

Ps ABRAXOS HAS A MATE SITTING IN A TREE LOL

[wistfulwatcher]

so then… as a person who is new to tumblr and doesn’t understand the queue, can you please explain it :D

for sure!! i assume that you sent this in regards to this post, so i won't rehash it. but in addition to those benefits, i personally love that the queue function allows you to mix up the type of content, so rather than going on a reblogging spree in a tag, you can fill your queue and shuffle it, and then you get a good variety in there. which might not matter so much for my followers, but i personally love to see the stuff i'm reblogging, and i like to get little bursts of various fandoms throughout the day ❤️

now, as to how it works mechanically, i've put a little walkthrough below the cut (with screenshots):

first, just to summarize, queuing posts is the same thing as reblogging, it just delays when they appear on your blog. so, if you reblog something it goes to your blog immediately. if you queue it, it goes into your queue, where it is held in a line (or, a queue) to be posted to your blog at a later time. you are able to set your queue to move things from the queue to your blog in various intervals, which i'll discuss in detail later on.

to use your queue, you will need to fill it as your first step. ("fill" it here just means put one or more things into it - you don't need to have more than one post in there for it to function, but "filling" it is the term most commonly used.)

to add to your queue, find a post you want to reblog, and begin to reblog it as normal. when the reblog page pops up, you'll see the "reblog" button in the bottom righthand corner:

if you click the arrow to the right of the word, you get these options:

if you click the "Add to queue" option it will change your blue button to say that

and when you click it, it will go into your queue instead of post immediately onto your blog.

now that you have a post in your queue, you'll want to go into your queue to set your parameters for how often you want your queue to dole out posts. go to your blog, and on the right hand side where it lists your stats, click the queue link:

this will take you to your queue page, where you can see all of the posts currently in your queue (you can see how many you have in there next to the queue button, for example i have 111 right now). at the very top of the queue page, you will find where you can change your queue settings (options circled in red):

the first option is how many posts you want your queue to put out each day. i currently have mine set at 18, but you can choose any number between 1 and 50 (it's just personal preference/how full your queue is). you can also set the times of day (automatically based on your account's time zone) your queue will run. the shorter amount of time, the more quickly your posts will release, and the larger amount of time the more spread out they will be. when you change any of these numbers, you will see the projected timestamp on your queued posts change. for example, with my current settings, my next post will release at 5am tomorrow:

but if i change that to a start time of 5am, this post won't release until 5:56:

there are also two buttons at the bottom of that setting block: shuffle and pause. if you press the shuffle button it will, well, shuffle your posts. it will randomly reorder when things will be released, and you can see the new order by scrolling down. for example, when i shuffle, my new next post is shown:

and, when you click the pause button, your queue will stop putting out any posts until you tell it to resume.

also, i know i've been referring to reblogs, but to confirm, your queue will also work with original posts. when you start a new post it will be very similar - you'll have the "post now" option instead of reblog, and you'll select "Add to queue" etc., and add the original post to your queue as well.

since you're new to tumblr/the queue, i'll also highlight the "schedule" option that you can also see when you open your reblog options. the schedule function works similarly to the queue (a scheduled post will show up in your queue, even) but instead of being doled out randomly/according to your overall settings, you can choose exactly what day and time you want it to post. when you click it, the date and time pop up right below the schedule option, and you can select the time you would like:

one last note: you might have noticed that some people use a "queue tag" of some sort (e.g., "queue," "cool as a queuecumber," etc.). this is not necessary and it won't automatically be added to anything you queue. (there are ways to do that if you'd like, but it's a bit more advanced so let me know if you want me to get into that and i can answer that separately.) the reason to do this is just to let people know that you aren't "actively" blogging or available.

i hope that answered your questions! if not please let me know and i'll be happy to clarify/explain anything further ❤️ happy queuing!

[lizzieblabbers]

octobery bery long ????

so remember the vacation entry i promised to post?? well... in my defense, tho, life came in the way and i had to prioritize urgent big girl stuff so i really had no time to sit down in front of my laptop and recall all my province memories

but it's sitting sa drafts na, will not set a date anymore, it'll just... be up

so anyway

october was so long wtf hHASDHADHA

tODAY'S THE TENTH AND I FINALLY FOUND THE WORDS EHEHEHEH (see cleaning is the key)

so, october, to put it simply, is challenging yet rewarding. (big words from a big girl lyke me 8D *winks*

as i've mentioned in my previous post, i hadn't really had much time to kool down from the province high because i needed to be the adult that i am as soon as i arrived. it did not help that the professors had already started discussions and of course with those are activities with deadlines that were sooner than i had expected.

now, i really meant it when i said that october was sooooooo looong. or was it because i had too much on my plate that i barely had the time to rest and let time pass by? either way, it was the longest month i had this year because a lot was going on.

first week of october, i had to go somewhere, ALONE, without any idea of what am i gonna do there.

OKAY I HAVE TO STOP HERE its ten pm and i am fucking sleepy (yeah it be like that sometimes) im gonna continue this tomorrow

hi today's the day after tomorrow and wtf am i doing with my life

i have decided not to pursue the vacation post because i felt like i have already said enough about it in my previous entries (albeit trying to tone it down for, well, the said separate entry) and i think it would just be redundant??? idk, im messed up like that

ANYWAY OCTOBER

so much has happened this past month that i can't really keep track of everything. october taught me a lot of lessons which i guess i can generally apply to all aspects of my life.

for one, it taught me that life isn't and will never be black and white. there are tons of gray areas existing that we should maybe look at and examine its relevance and how it affects each of us. not saying we should always justify everything, but you know... it wouldn't hurt to have another approach to life

anyhoo why am i getting all wisdom-y word-y here, im not that smart

my october mainly revolved on school and adulting responsibilities, alongside some realizations. as for school, it took me a while to adjust to the new academic year because there has been a lot of necessary changes for a less-stressful semester but all in all i'm fine now and already on the process of hooking myself back up to how i was before the vacay.

as for adulting responsibilities, well... october 2023 is when i first received a salary for doing something!!! yay :D immediately put it in a savings account and stopped myself from buying unnecessary stuff because i really want to practice this until i already have a job (FUCK THIS ADULT THING IS GETTING REALER ANY MINUTE) and as much as possible, save save save because i know im gonna need a lot if i want to sleep peacefully at night

guess that's the highlight of my month? won't dwell too much on the negative shits because (1) i can't really remember them aotm, and (2) i don't want to remember them anymore

in case of a relapse, however, i would definitely head straight here and let out everything i think about

THAT'S IT FOR OCTOBER, THANK YEW

bubhyYEE

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary25

9/29-30/2023

late night, tonight.

i was out super late after this very bad poetry reading here for some of these creative writing majors. i don't have a lot to say about it, it was bad and the writers make some people close to me miserable because they fail at being kind basically. kind in a real way, the kindness that lets you have some give for meanness when you actually articulate/show effort put towards anyone else, people who are utterly shallow, you know. i believe it must be the case that we all know of people like that essentially.

i didn't get to work on music today really, that's kind of good, tomorrow i will try to write some stuff, i did work on music actually i guess, i wrote a riff, and i'll see where that can take me, or less writing the riff, i wrote some chords to mess with. a fun shape that has a good sound, disso and freaky when inverted.

anyways tonight was good, or like, half good. it's given me a lot to think about, with people who do certain things (like 'ethical' nonmonogamy and if that can exist when the presupposition is monogamy in the first place). i met new people who i like, who are really nice and fun to be around, who got drunk and told me dirt about some old people i knew. or really, one person. that doofus from the noise band, actually. i don't mind saying that. i won't discuss the dirt. it just kind of makes me feel something sad, about people like that, and i guess at large people who in some sense resemble the poets, shallow engagement and deeply troubled ideas of what being an artist means leading to difficult lives, miseries that begin loud and only grow quieter, never actually dissipating.

my gf really wanted to take me to this, the reading and the afterparty, she and a friend really wanted to hear my thoughts on these people because supposedly i'm very funny about that kind of thing, she forgot i guess the bore of the poetry, and the fact that as time goes on, the ruin of these lives is exposed more and more, rich (really i don't actually know, it's the impression i get) developing bad habits and using people, and the drama, while never uninteresting to someone like me (maybe it makes me evil to want to hear), is always sad.

sometimes i am like a child and i just wish everyone could be okay and fine, i'd sometimes light myself on fire to make that possible, but someone i used to be obsessed with told me that me wanting to be jesus or buddha (he said both) so bad wouldn't do anything for anyone except feed how badly i like to see myself hurt. he's right. i guess that's what knowing things does too.

maybe my whole life i'm just going to be hurting myself in new ways.

so i made 3 new friends, or 4, let me count, yeah, 4, i think. and i actually saw 2 friends i knew before tonight, and i was with my one girl friend. so 7 people, i'm gonna see some tomorrow at a gay bar to see a drag show, super exciting stuff. hopefully there won't be any pangs of sadness over the fact we are living in hell sort of.

i guess everybody has really unpleasant fascinations sometimes.

one conversation tonight, one of the new friends told me about her research topic, modern apocalyptic media and its convergence with evangelical christianity, just talking about all that stuff and its evolving state, the dwindling numbers of evangelicals and their panic, her past, and stuff. i liked that. i liked all of tonight, even the sadder parts.

i'm listening to the song theory on sex as an art form, by camera obscura, on repeat. a really great track, it's just so perfect, i love the synth-y punky part especially, but i guess it's also perfect next to a perfect melodic release, this movement that recalls something tumbling downhill, or leaves off petals, while the first part is this total mania.

anyways i am exhausted now, and tomorrow is another day of socializing and stuff.

had an awful thought, or not awful, i dunno. someone posted the song absent friend by bark psychosis, a song that takes me to two specific moments in my life. one was when i'd listen to this song, thinking about the man i loved who would disappear without a word because he was awful, and i'd lay in bed without anyone to talk to, and the second place, is years later, when a friend who loved this record to bits, killed himself, and the song was so pointed, it felt like it said something. the night i found out i walked around and listened to this song.

both times, the lyric "that's the biggest joke of all" took on pretty different meanings. right now it means something else i guess.

the awful thought was about my dead friend rather than the friend who is dead to me. my dead friend, the thought was: the most meaningful thing he'd ever do for himself was kill his own self, that's where all the force of his life would end up, and missing him, and not wanting to forget him and wanting other people to know him, all i am left being able to do is revive the corpse he made of himself and tell others, this is what he did, this is his monument and it's an awful one but it is his. i don't know what else to say about it, i'm staving off the wish to tell a stranger in a server about him because they posted this song, all i can say is i guess, beautiful song, one of the best ever, and they won't know how much i mean that. maybe i mean it less because it means such particular things to me, and rather than thinking it's the best song ever, it's just clusters of memory and feeling forever tied to it. whatever, though, that's fine.

anyways, byebye!!!

[soletlunasims]

-This is my last post before I'm all caught up. Which means I can play the game again. Yay! I want to try to do a format in which the photos tell the story and I just provide dialogue. I see that as a popular format and I find it very fun as a reader myself. For now, let me get this last bit of what I'm loosly referring to as the epilogue out of the way-

Ares spent a lot of time with work stuff. And I mean A LOT of time. So much so that her and Xaidin saw each other for maybe an hour before bed every night. They usually spent it watching the news. Xaidin needed to for his job as well as Ares.

They would often go to bed by 9 and practically fall asleep instantly. Their love life was suffering. Not that it was thriving to begin with. Ares mood was suffering due to the stress put on her. Not from her job, but from her fiancee who kept trying to bring up wedding stuff. She rolled her eyes anytime he mentioned it. "It'll happen! But you have to bear with me. This next election is really important for the mayor. This reflects on me majorly. The game is being played. I'm almost at a checkmate. After the election we can talk about it all you want, okay?"

Ares tried to keep focused on her goals, but she was also worried about doing the same thing she did to Gunnar. She was pushing the ones who cared about her away. This weighed heavy on her, especially when she got a call from Caleb. "Hey, Dad..... Can't talk right now. I'm super busy wi......" She stopped her sentence in it's tracks when she heard a faint whimper and a weak voice come from Caleb. "Ares..... It's... It's Chip..... He passed away last night. I'm so sorry. I know you two had your differences but...... Did you..... Did you want to come say goodbye to him?" Ares said nothing at first. She couldn't believe it. Her father was gone. And she never got to make amends with him. Eventually she found her voice. "I will be on the first plane home tomorrow." She said tears streaming down her cheeks. For the first time in a long time, Ares was going home. But it was not for happiest of reasons.

Ares got home in the afternoon the next day. Her and Caleb hugged for a long time, crying together. They sat on the couch and caught up, talked about Chip, discussed what it was gonna be like for Caleb now that he was gone. Caleb told Ares that he was planning on giving chips ashes to Gunnar and Bowie. "You aren't keeping them?" Ares questioned.

Caleb wiped tears from his eyes. "I would love too. But I have so many more memories right here. Of him and you. I figured you wouldn't want him. You're not that kind of sentimental. But Gunnar? He truly cherished Chip. Bowie did too. I know you don't like me talking about them..."

Ares sniffled. "No... No. It's okay. I know he was a big part of their lives. Gunnar deserves to take him if he wants to."

Caleb put his hand on Ares lap. "Good... So, then..... Will you take Chip to him?"

Ares froze. She didn't know what to say. What Caleb was suggesting seemed crazy. Would Gunnar even want Ares to be the one to break that news to him? She seemed to think that was a huge mistake. But she also didn't want to put Caleb through that in this tough time. She had put her family through enough. It was her time to step in and console them.

Ares nodded at Caleb and hugged him tight. She was scared of seeing Gunnar but she knew she had to get over this hurdle. She would also have to find an excuse for leaving Xaidin behind. She couldn't tell him she was going to see Gunnar. Even Xaidin didn't know about him or her illegitimate child. Ares was learning fast that some mistakes just won't go away no matter how hard you try.

Ares stayed with Caleb for about a week. When she went back home, she had to give Xaidin a quick excuse for why she was leaving so soon again..she was nervous. Her plan seemed to obvious. So soon after a family emergency? There's no way he would buy it. He would know something is up. She lied to him. "Sorry, Darling. I know it's so sudden but the mayor wants me to do some small town snooping into what the common voter wants to see from their elected officials. I have to go on a business trip for the weekend. I'm sorry.... I'll make it up to you when I get back, okay?"

Xaidin questioned her. "Are you sure you want to do this right now? Your father just passed away. Will you be okay on your own? I have vacation....."

Ares cut him off. "NO!....uh..herm.... Ah no. No need to take off. I'll be plenty okay. I'm a tough cookie. You know me. Besides, I need you here to keep me posted on any pressing details that pop up in the news that may need my immediate attention. I know I have my phone for that but no where is faster than getting information straight from the horses mouth."

Xaidin takes the bait. He seems compliant and wants to be there for Ares any way he can. If she needs him home and working, then that's what he'll do.

Ares spends the day packing for her new trip. Then she rewards herself with a nice soak in the tub while watching the sun set. She thinks about the days to come. She tries to relax but it's incredibly hard to.

The next day, Ares got on a plane headed to Gunnar. She called him in advance to meet at the airport. Gunnar was frustrated with her at first "What?! I'm just supposed to drop my life for you? Now? Why? Ares, I don't like your games."

Ares strained her voice to try to make it sound like she wasn't crying. "It's not for me, Gunnar. It's for Caleb."

Gunnar texted Caleb asking about what Ares was talking about. Caleb confirmed that he should meet her at the airport and that he was sorry he couldn't be there himself. Gunnar was very confused. But he trusted Caleb.

When Ares met Gunnar at the airport, they awkwardly waved at each other. They had an uncomfortably long car ride ahead of them. Most of the drive was silent, until they had this conversation:

Ares: "We aren't going to your house, are we?"

Gunnar seemed annoyed at that question. He knew she meant because she didn't want to see Bowie. "...no."

Ares felt relief: "okay. Good."

Gunnar's anger lead him to curiosity. "What if we were, Ares?"

Ares: "huh?"

Gunnar: "What if we were going to my house? Would that be a problem?"

Ares: "please, Gunnar.... Don't do this."

Gunnar said nothing for a moment. Then he piped back up. " Why are you here anyways? Can't we have this conversation in the car? You came all this way. I assume you have something for me. But if that's the case, we can just pull over. You can hand me whatever it is and I can send you back home."

Ares: "Look. I'm just as uncomfortable as you, Gunnar..... Can we just... Sit in silence for a bit?"

Gunnar obliges her.

About an hour later, they get to the Moonwood Mill inn. A motel on the edge of the old mill.

Gunnar parks the car. "Welcome to Casa Del HopeYouDontGetBugs."

Ares: "We're staying here?"

Gunnar snorts. "We? Fuck no. Everything in Moonwood Mill is spitting distance from each other. I live across the bridge. You can see from here if you're behind the motel. No. YOU are staying here."

Ares looked at the dingy Motel then realized something. "Wait! Where's....?"

Gunnar: "Bowie?" Gunnar grinned. It was a bit sinister feeling. "I told you. Everything here is within spitting distance..... The neighbors are watching him. I tried calling Chip but he didn't answer. Come to think of it, he usually comes over at least on the weekends. He missed last weekend. This one as well. And for Caleb to call me...." Gunnar was getting luggage out for Ares when he suddenly stopped. He made a grave realization. He set the suitcase down that was in his hands as he stared at the rest of the luggage. He noticed a box. Tears started to well in his eyes. "Don't tell me that's......" He looked at Ares who was silently crying a foot away from him, looking right at him. Gunnar grabbed the box and opened it slowly. His heart sank. He fell to the ground and started crying, clutching the box. "Dad."

Ares went over to Gunnar and put her hand on his shoulder. All of the tension both of them felt, all of the aggression and anger they had toward each other. It had dissipated if only in that moment.

They sat there for a while. They both cried and held the urn. Eventually, they became composed enough to talk about it.

Gunnar: "It all makes sense now... Chip never missed my calls. He never would have given up any opportunity to be with Bowie. Why didn't Caleb tell me?"

Ares: "I figured it was too much for him? But now... I, actually, don't know. He's a cryptic man, that one."

Gunnar: "Well, thank you.... And sorry I was so hostile towards you in the car."

Ares: "You don't need to apologize. I understand why you feel the way you do. I should be apologizing to you. But I know it'll do no good at this point."

Gunnar looked back at the urn. He handed it to Ares. Ares pushed it back gently into his hands. "Dad wanted to be with you and Bowie. I agreed to Caleb that I would bring him to you."

Gunnar lost it again in a flood of tears. "Bowie is going to be so upset.... How do I explain to a toddler the Gampy isn't coming back?"

Ares' eyes grow wide and they brim with more tears. She put her hand over her mouth. "That's what he called Dad? Oh, my Watcher..."

Gunnar looked at Ares. He could see the sudden realization she was having. "You would love him, Ares. He's so much like you."

Ares: "I bet he's a real charmer. Just like his momma." Ares shocked herself with that statement.

It shocked Gunnar as well. "Mo...momma?"

Ares backpedaled: "ah.... Heh.... Not what I meant."

Neither of them noticed how close they were getting but Ares definitely brought them back to reality with her normal dodgy ways. They both decided to get Ares up to her room for the night.

The room.... Had character. It was definitely not a 5 star hotel. But it would have to do. Gunnar brought all of Ares stuff up to her room but this time Ares insisted on helping him. He just would not let her.

Once in the room, they sat on the bed for a few minutes.

Gunnar showed her how to work the TV and warned her about taking a shower. "Personally, I wouldn't. You can use mine if you want. Just let me know when you want to. I'll send Bowie over to the neighbors."

Ares: "Thank you, Gunnar."

Gunnar: "yeah. No problem."

They looked at each other. Then as suddenly as it had happened before.....

They kissed. Gunnar pulled away first. Shocked at what had just happened. Ares was also in disbelief. She sat their frozen, hand to her mouth. Gunnar got up off of the bed. He looked like he had seen a ghost. "S....sorry". Ares was still frozen. She slowly looked at Gunnar. Her heart raced. Gunnar looked into her eyes. His heart raced. "I want you so bad...." Ares got up to put her arms around his neck "Me too...." They started kissing each other while they stripped off their clothes. Gunnar laid Ares on the bed and kissed her all over. "I've missed you so much." Ares moaned. "I've missed you, too."

Ares was not very faithful that night. She just added a whole new problem to her list.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || your newest client asks you to give him a real challenge, and you’re happy to oblige.  

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 6.3k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || smut but no actual sex (lots of handjob stuff though and some brief oral m receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, more cnc (because of the overstimulation), bondage, edging, impact play (riding crop), brief cock torture (she just hits him with the crop a couple times), implied “kink as trauma response” (this is gonna be a theme throughout the whole fic), forced to break a rule/doomed to fail/impossible challenge (idk how to warn for this but yeah), forced voyeurism?, thigh riding (reader rides bucky’s thigh), some degradation/dumbification, brief/implied dacryphilia, a bit of angst/feelings

new parts posted on thursdays!  join the taglist here

“Can’t,” he sighed, “can’t come again.”

He looked so painfully adorable when he begged like that, his brow glistening with sweat as he jerked under your touch.  “Aw, poor baby,” you pouted, twisting your hand when it stroked over the head of his cock, “yes you can.  I know you can.  Just gimme one more.”

“F-fuck,” he whimpered, “Mistress, please— just stop, please, I can’t… can’t take any more…”

“I know you can, sweetheart— I know you can be my good boy and keep coming for me.  Tell me your color.”

“Yellow,” he whispered.

“Think you’re almost done?” you pressed, smiling when he nodded breathlessly.  “Yeah, there’s my good boy— gonna come again for your Mistress?”

“Yes,” he breathed, baring his teeth as his hips bucked wildly to try to avoid further sensation, “y-yes, one more, just one more, I’m gonna— fuck, gonna come, just don’t stop… fuck, it hurts.”

“I know, but you’re being so good for me,” you purred.  “You like it when I milk your pretty cock, don’t you?  Even though it hurts?”

He winced but nodded.  “C-coming, Mistress, fuck, I’m coming…!”

Since it was his fifth of the evening, he could only give you one thick drop of come that gathered at his slit before running down over your hand which finally slowed to a stop.

You both sighed with relief as you pulled your hand away and leaned back, admiring how beautiful he looked as he caught his breath, covered in come and sweat.

"Good job," you praised with a chuckle, "I hope I didn't go too hard on you."

"N-no, that was… that was really good," he sighed, slumping back onto the bed.  "Can I use your shower before I go?"

"Yeah, totally," you nodded.

After a long pause, you gave him a confused look.  

"I thought you were gonna shower?" you reminded him.

"Oh… I guess I have to get up for that," he sighed, making you laugh.

"Rest a bit longer.  You've had a… challenging afternoon."

He nodded a little and you got up from the bed to go wash your hands and freshen up a little, smiling at your own appearance in the mirror— sometimes you forgot how you looked when you did this, but there was an undeniable aura of power around you… especially after a session like that.

This was only your third week with James, and already the dynamic felt so natural between you— and yet, so fresh compared to your other clients.  Normally it took longer for a newbie to get comfortable with you, yet most of them had had multiple doms before and here was James, totally inexperienced and taking it all like a champ.  There was an air of innocence about him, you figured, in contrast to this undeniable strength and intensity that you caught glimpses of from time to time.

Sometimes, it felt like he was chasing an innocence he lost a long time ago.  Whatever it was that drew him to this, you were happy to help him along the way.

It was probably a little dangerous to enjoy sessions with a client so much; even though you often pretended that everything was about your pleasure and not theirs, obviously since they were the paying customer it was the complete opposite in reality.  But there was an equity to the dynamic with you and Bucky, he served you with a real dedication rather than for his own gain.  And you, meanwhile, had rediscovered the fun in this career that had originally drawn you to it in the first place.  It was less like a science now, more like an art— you let yourself go with your instincts and do whatever felt right in the moment, and both of you benefitted for it.  

“Come on, get up and clean yourself off,” you encouraged— gently, of course— as you left the bathroom and returned to find James laying sprawled out on the bed.

“I know you said falling asleep here was a one-time courtesy,” he remembered with a smile, “but I could use it now a lot more than I needed it then.”

Honestly, you didn’t see him smile that often.  It was pleasant; you hoped to see it again.  He did get up, though, and take the washcloth you handed him to wipe off the come that had gotten all over him.  “What are you thinking for next week?” you asked as you leaned against the wall.  “Any special requests?”

“We can discuss all that over the phone,” he decided.  You still didn’t understand fully why he didn’t like to discuss future scenes in person; it was like he wanted the in-person interactions to be as ‘in character’ (if you will) as possible.

“Alright, just keep me updated,” you requested with a shrug.

You got changed while he took his shower, and when he emerged to the living room he seemed surprised to see you sitting on your own couch.  After a moment, you realized it was the fact that you were in normal clothes that threw him off.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in jeans before… or pants of any kind.”

You looked down at your outfit with a smile, glad it was at least still professional and not sweats and a t-shirt or something.  “Yeah, I guess you haven’t.  First time for everything, right?”

“Yeah, had a lot of first times with you,” he chuckled.  “Most significantly less mundane than this.”

A brief silence filled the room but it wasn’t exactly awkward, at least not for you.

“Well, I’ll see you next week,” he decided as he grabbed his jacket from your chair and slipped it on.  You’d been spending most of this session trying to forget how good he looked in the leather motorcycle cut, so that was out the window now as you tried to keep from visibly biting your lip while he walked towards the door.

Damn, he was fine.  But there were more pressing matters at hand.  Like preparing yourself and your apartment for your next appointment.  This guy wanted to get slapped around until he cried… shouldn't be too difficult, but your arms would probably be sore tomorrow.

Opposite of last week, I really want you to edge me tonight, as long as possible.

Don't go easy on me, make me hold it in.  I need a challenge this week.

-J

It was odd how emails from James made your week.

He seemed to prefer to communicate his desire with you this way; maybe it was easier for him, and you couldn’t really blame him for that.  The nice part was that you didn’t have to temper your reactions, if you had any, since you were always alone when you got his messages.  You might be old hat at it now, but you could remember a time that you had to hide a grimace when a client told you to your face what he wanted.  Not that you would shame them for it or anything (unless, you know, they paid you to), but you didn’t enjoy everything you did with these men.

Did you enjoy everything you did with James?  Yes, but you were pretending not to— for your own sake.

You dressed a bit differently for today’s session, more conservatively… not that it was especially conservative by any other person’s standards.  But it left your legs and chest covered, somewhat in the spirit of ‘mean corporate businesswoman’ aesthetically.  For some reason you felt like using a riding crop required wearing pants.

James certainly didn’t seem to mind, with the way he nervously cleared his throat after you opened the door.

“Good to see you again,” you greeted formally, “please, come in.”

He stepped past you, still looking at you and not at what was in front of him, meaning he ended up slamming himself gut-first into your kitchen island.

“Oh!  Are you alright?” you smiled when you noticed. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he nodded, rubbing his stomach for a second but recovering quickly.  “I told you I can take a lot of pain,” he joked.

“Well, we’re going to put that to the test today,” you promised cryptically.  “You must’ve seen the crop on the table.”

He nodded again.  “Yeah....”

“Are you looking forward to it?”

“Yes,” he answered, a bit too quickly.

“Then let’s get you tied up, James.”

Straddling his lap, you realized the rope was a bit too tight when you saw it digging into his skin; maybe he wouldn’t mind that, but you did, so you pushed the rope back through itself to loosen it slightly.

“How long did it take you to learn all these knots?” he asked casually, watching your fingers nimbly work the ropes around his wrists.

“Not too long,” you shrugged, “I’ve only been doing this a few years… but I knew them before that.”

“Boating school?  Boy Scouts?” he suggested jokingly.

“Just a hobby,” you decided, dodging the covert question about your past.  “Were you a Boy Scout?”

“Do I look like a Boy Scout?” he countered with a scoff.

“Not anymore,” you shrugged, “but I bet you did once.  You’re sorta innocent, you know.”

He swallowed dryly, and you raised an eyebrow as you glanced from the knot you were tightening to his face, which looked a bit flustered.  “R-really?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, leaning back on your heels to look at him straight-on.  “Are you surprised to hear that?”

He nodded quickly, and you laughed.

“Aw, you thought you were so kinky, huh?  So dirty,” you purred, running your hand up his leg until he tugged slightly on the newly-tied ropes— a subtle way to get him to test them for you.  “But you’re really not.  You’re just my sweet, innocent boy.”

He whined— really, properly whined— and you dug your nails into his skin until he hissed instead.

“I don’t think you believe me,” you noticed, leaning back to reach for the crop behind you.  “You think you’re so filthy and perverted, right?  Are you a pervert, James?”

“Yes,” he breathed, shivering as you let the crop slide gently over his skin— his abs, his hips, his legs which were already quivering so adorably.  “Yes, Mistress.”

“And how’s that?”

“I think about… getting hurt,” he admitted weakly, “when I touch myself.  And I touch myself all the fucking time.”

“Yeah?  How many times a day do you stroke that pretty cock, James?”

“Twice every morning,” he blurted out, “after that it depends.”

You didn’t let yourself show your surprise at that number.  “Depends on what?”

When he hesitated, you hit him sharply on the thigh and he winced.  “Depends on what I… what I end up thinking about.  Sometimes… sometimes something reminds me, and I have to get off.”

Something told you not to press on what it was that he needed to be reminded of, and why it made him want to jerk off so bad.  Something told you he wasn’t ready to tell that story yet.  “Did you touch yourself today already?” you asked instead.

“No, no ma’am,” he shook his head, voice wavering as you brushed the crop over his chest, “it’s… it’s different with you.”

“Yeah, I bet it is,” you smirked, hitting him on the stomach quickly.  “I bet you’re finally satisfied, right?  Nothing’s ever worked for you before.”

“Yes,” he moaned, crying out slightly when you hit him on the arm (flesh— you were too afraid what sound the metal one would make) much harder than before.  “The nights I see you, I… I can sleep.”

“You sleep better?”

“No, I just… sleep.”

You tried not to react to that, moving to a new question instead.  “Do you want me to hit you again?  Or do you want me to stroke your cock for you?”

An obvious choice to some, surely, but he seemed to really struggle with it.

“Which one do you think you deserve?” you asked instead.

“Hit me more,” he decided.

Instantly, you struck him once on the face and again on the shoulder, then moved down to his legs for three in a row in spite of the way his body jerked away instinctively.  

“Fuck,” he sobbed, “don’t stop— I need more…”

You focused on his legs, on the inside of his thigh where he seemed the most sensitive.  His twisted joy turned to true fear, though, when you brushed the end of the crop over his balls.  “Do you want me to hit you here?” you challenged.

“I… I don’t know,” he stammered.

“Let’s make a deal, James,” you offered, “wherever I hit you, I’m gonna kiss it to make it better.”

“Then hit me wherever you want,” he nodded, almost smiling at you.  He cried through his teeth when you whipped his shaft with the crop— not especially hard, in fact quite delicately, though the second was harder.  And the third, though not much more aggressive, was right on the sensitive tip; his eyes shot open and his hips jerked away.

“So good, such a good boy,” you whispered proudly, putting the crop aside to lean in and kiss his cheek where you’d hit him before, his shoulder, his arm.

You worked your way down carefully as he breathed heavily beneath you, whimpering slightly when you kissed his thighs and notably ignored his flexing, leaking cock.  “Please,” he whimpered.

“Shh, be patient,” you soothed, “be my good boy.”

“Your good boy,” he repeated, trying to restrain himself but already bucking up into the air again, “fuck, wanna be your good boy, Mistress.”

“Are you already close, pet, just from getting hurt?” you asked in a faux pout.  “You’re not gonna come if I give your pretty cock some kisses, right?”

“I— I won’t come,” he promised.  “Not until I get permission.”

“Baby, it’s gonna be a long fuckin’ time before you get permission,” you promised with a toothy grin.  “Look down at me, honey, I want you to see this.”

He hesitated for a second but obeyed, looking down at you with an expression that was full of awe as you gripped his cock and gave gentle, teasing kisses up his shaft.  It bobbed in your hands with each one, and he let out the most beautiful sigh when you kissed the tip carefully.

A wide lick made him jerk beneath you.  “F-Fuck,” he stammered.

“You said you wouldn’t come,” you reminded him.  “Can I keep going?  Are you gonna be a good boy?”

“Don’t stop, please,” he breathed, “I’ll be good.”

Taking the head between your lips, you suckled gently as he shivered and moaned.  You weren’t sure you’d ever been with anybody— on or off the clock— who was so sensitive.  And you loved it, honestly; who could resist those precious noises he made?

As much as part of you wanted to go nuts and really push him to the edge, you tried to be gentle and careful so as not to make it impossible for him to hold back.  But even then, when you gently grasped his balls in one of your hands and squeezed them, he apparently couldn’t take anymore.

"S-stop," he hissed, and you pulled back, sitting up.

"You were close?" you asked, and he nodded a little.  "Oh, what a good boy."

He whimpered briefly.  "Yes, your good boy, Mistress…"

Your fingers trailed delicately up the underside of his cock, making him shiver violently.  "I know you want to come, but you want to be good even more.  You're such a sweet little pet."

It seemed like the praises did more to keep him on the edge than the touches, so you kept both going; wrapping your fingers around the ridge of his head, you gave the most gentle and subtle strokes, and leaned in to whisper against his ear.

“Is this why you wanted me to edge you today, James?  So you could show me how good you can be?” 

“I-I don’t know,” he blurted out, rocking his hips as best he could while restrained, “I just wanted to… I just wanted you to make me wait.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that,” you laughed slightly, “I can make you wait all day.  Is that what you want?”

“No, that’s— not that long, I can’t wait that long,” he shuddered.

“Mm, that sounds like your problem, not mine,” you smirked.  “Not sure why I asked what you want, honestly… cause I don’t fucking care.”

His choked-out whine was too perfect to ignore.

“Oh, what a pathetic little moan that was, poor baby,” you cooed mockingly, “are you regretting it now?  You’re probably wondering what you got yourself into, ‘cause you’re worried Mistress is never gonna let you come.”

“No, I don’t regret it,” he denied weakly, “whatever you want— do whatever you want to me, just… give me what I deserve, please.”

You stopped touching him completely and he straight-up sobbed.  “You don’t deserve anything from me, James.  You don’t deserve me at all.”

He told you before that he liked when you rapidly cycled between soft and mean.  Kept him on his toes, apparently.  Honestly, you felt a little guilty talking to him that way sometimes, but his cock leaking enough pre-cum to soak the bedsheets beneath him was a sign you were doing something right.  “I know!” he cried.  “I know, fuck, I’m sorry, but I need you.  I fucking need you, Mistress, please— you know I’ll do anything.”

“I’m feeling generous today,” you shrugged, “so I won’t ask you for much.  Just beg me a little more.”

“Please, pleasepleaseplease,” he rushed, “touch me.  Anywhere, whatever you want, I just need to feel you.  I know I… fuck, I know I don’t deserve it, but let me try to— to earn it.  Please.”

You knew if he had it his way, he wouldn’t do much talking at all.  But you couldn’t just let him have it his way, now could you?  It was better to make him just the right amount of nervous, just the slightest hair uncomfortable, by making him talk to you.  And, of course, you liked the way his deep and rough voice got all whiny and needy like this.

One finger under his chin guided him to look up at you, those pretty blue eyes watery and sparkling and wide with misplaced innocence.

“Tell me who you belong to, James,” you instructed darkly.

“You, Mistress,” he whispered, “I’m yours, I— oh fuck…”

Unshockingly, he was reduced to only moans again when you started stroking his cock, the slick precum making every movement smoother.  “All mine, huh?  My little toy?” you confirmed, but he could only nod and swallow thickly.

You sped up quickly, getting faster and faster until you were really, properly jerking him off and he was biting hard on his lip.  Just when he seemed to really fall into it, get almost comfortable, you had to stop.

"Oh, fuck—" he gasped, bucking his hips up to try to chase your hand when you pulled away, but it was no use with him tied up.  You watched his cock bob in the air and smiled.

“Did you think it was going to be that easy?” you smirked.

Shaking his head, you tilted yours to look at him, reaching up to trace your fingers over his chest.  

“Don’t lie, baby, you thought I was gonna let you come, didn’t you?  You’re so sweet, James, and so, so stupid.”

He gasped, and for a second you thought you might’ve gone too far, but it shifted to a moan quickly and you realized he was having the time of his life.

“Just my dumb, brainless little toy,” you continued with a snarl, watching him tug at the ropes as his eyes fluttered shut.  “It’s okay, James, it’s okay… you don’t need to think, I don’t want your mind.  It’s useless.  I want this pretty cock, that’s all I want from you.”

“It’s all yours, Mistress,” he promised, cheeks burning bright red and eyes forced shut.  “All of it, I swear.”

“I know,” you cooed, holding his face gently to soothe him a bit.  But then your other hand wrapped around his cock and he was anything but soothed.  “Shh, shh, don’t make any sounds, you’re just a toy and toys need to stay quiet.”

You missed his noises, actually, but he looked so cute biting his lip and struggling to suppress them.  His cock was so swollen in your hand that you honestly wondered if it was somehow getting bigger.  Was that even possible?  Your mouth was watering regardless.

“I’m gonna give you a little break,” you promised gently, “but I’ll be honest, pretty boy… I don’t think you’re gonna like it one bit.”

The look he gave you beautifully balanced fear with anticipation, and you stopped stroking him to reach over towards the bedside drawer and pull out a vibrator.

“Your Mistress is feeling a little.... self-indulgent today,” you winked.  “And since I, unlike you, don’t need to hold myself back from coming, I think I might as well get myself off if I want to.”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed dryly, watching you closely as you stood up off the bed and started to carefully undress yourself.  It was a lot more fun to get naked when you were wearing something that didn’t actually show much skin— the button-up seemed to really get him going, his tongue mindlessly darting out to lick his lips as you opened one button at a time.

Once it was off your shoulders and on the floor, and he could see the almost-transparent bra you had on, you moved to opening your trousers as well.  Just to be mean, you faced the other way as you pushed them down over your ass; you heard his breath catch and you smirked to yourself, spinning to face him again in just the matching, dark red bra and panty set.

“What do you think, do you like this better than the black ones?” you asked coyly.

“I like you naked better than both,” he answered, and you grinned.

“I’m gonna let that backtalk slide just once because it’s not worth my time to go over there and slap you for it,” you decided.  “But don’t test me, James.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he answered dutifully, sounding a bit out of breath as he watched you climb back onto the bed, positioning yourself carefully.

You faced him straight-on and laid your legs over his, meaning your lace-covered pussy was in full view and only inches from his leaking cock— the damn thing looked sore by now, purple at the tip and just as desperate for attention as the rest of him.

When you pulled the fabric aside to show him your cunt, he hissed and looked away.

“Look at me, James, keep your eyes open,” you demanded, seeing how totally wrecked he looked when he turned his head back to you and stared down at your body with half-lidded eyes.  “Look at how fucking soaked my pussy is.  You remember how it feels to be inside it, don’t you?”

He swallowed, sighed, and finally (just barely) nodded.

“You remember how hot and wet and tight it is, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” he choked.

“Well, that memory’s all you’ve got to work with, sweet boy, because I don’t think I’m ever gonna let you fuck this pussy again.”

He really, properly sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks, and those arms flexed against the ropes defiantly.  “N-no, please—” 

“I’m gonna make myself come with this,” you promised, interrupting him as you grabbed the vibe, “and I want you to remember how it feels when I come around you, okay?  

Turning it on, you wasted no time pressing it to your clit, moving the end of the toy in slow circles and keeping a close eye on him as he watched you.  Your intention had always been to give him a show, but the embarrassing thing was how little of it was an act.  Ironically, even though you’d been edging him this whole time, having to touch him that way without any pleasure for yourself was almost as torturous.  You’d soaked through your panties by the time you had him tied up, to be totally honest.  So, giving into it and letting yourself feel good was a breeze.

“Think about when I was riding you, James,” you instructed, your own voice clearly affected by your pleasure now.  “Think about how good it would feel if I let you come inside me.”

“Oh, god,” he cried, leaning his head back.

“Think about my pussy milking every fucking drop of come out of you.  You know I wouldn’t let you stop until I was completely full of your come, I bet you’d like that.  I bet you’d like to eat your come out of me, you sick little pervert.”

“Fuck!” he yelped, tugging at the ropes harder now— for a second you thought he might really break them and jump you.  And for a second, you knew you’d let him.  It made your walls clench as you imagined facing the consequences of driving a man to the brink of insanity until he couldn’t help but fuck you like an animal.  It was a good thing he didn’t see you bite your lip as you imagined that.

“You know what I’m thinking about?” you taunted.  

“God, don’t tell me,” he sighed through his teeth, but obviously you ignored him.

“I’m thinking about what a good boy you are for me,” you cooed, your hips starting to rock up against where you held the end of the vibrator; you pressed it down harder onto your clit and moaned instantly.  “Yeah, I’m thinking about how pretty you look when you’re all desperate and needy and fucking pathetic—”

“Oh—” he choked.

“My dumb litlte whore, that’s all you are, James,” you groaned.  “I know you wish you could touch me, it’s all you can think about, right?  That pretty head of yours would be completely empty if it weren’t for thoughts of me and how badly you want me.  Right?”

“Yes,” he whispered huskily.

A shiver ran up your spine when the vibrator bumped into a more sensitive part of you, and you did it again and again until you thought you might lose it a bit faster than you meant to.  “This toy feels really good,” you informed him in a purr, gasping when you slipped the vibrating body of it into your pussy, “but it doesn’t feel as good inside me as you do.”

His eyes fell shut but he still winced a bit every time you made a sound; he couldn’t run from this, no matter how hard he tried.

“Oh James,” you moaned loudly, fucking yourself with the vibe for a moment before you pulled it back out to focus even harder on your clit, “I’m gonna come.  I’m so, so close… I can feel it getting stronger, I think I might make a mess on these sheets.  And the only way I’m ever gonna let you come is if you watch me do it.  So open your fucking eyes.”

He blinked quickly as he opened them, gaze scanning your whole body before settling on your cunt; you were sure he could see it pulsing as you got closer and closer, you knew he was imagining how it would feel.  You only spared a brief glimpse at his cock, bobbing between his legs, and wished you could just slip it in you now and come while it stretched you out. 

But that wasn’t what he was here for, sadly, and you were sure you were the only being truly denied of your desires, despite how it probably seemed from the outside.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, numbness starting to tingle in your legs as your orgasm built up quicker than even you expected.  “I’m coming— James, I’m coming, oh, fuck… right there— yes!”

A gush of heat warmed your cunt at the same time that shocks ran up your spine and down your limbs; you could feel your legs shaking, and you knew he could, too.  

It got so intense for a second that you had to pull the vibrator away, though you didn’t stop coming until a few moments later, eyes falling shut without you meaning for them to.

You actually laughed a bit, breathlessly, as you turned the vibe off and set it aside, although you weren’t sure exactly what was supposed to be funny about this per se.  When you opened your eyes, you saw James looking down and looking positively defeated.  But he looked tense, too, and you sat up on your wobbly legs to get closer to his face.  

“Relax, James,” you told him firmly as you examined him.

“I— I can’t,” he whispered. 

“Why not?”

“I’ll come.”

Nothing could fight your wide grin anymore, not when you heard that.  “Oh, baby… are you about to come without even being touched?  Is that how much you liked watching Mistress come?”

He nodded, ever so slightly, and you laughed.  Not quite a mocking laugh, moreso impressed.  Prideful, even.  You leaned in to give a wet kiss to his neck, licking over his pulse as he shivered violently.

“That’s my good boy,” you whispered against his skin.  He whined and you cooed soothingly right away, “oh I know, I know.  It’s so unfair, isn’t it?  Mistress gets to come and you don’t…”

“Please,” he stammered, “I’m so close, let me come, please.”

“But I don’t wanna see you come, baby— I wanna see you cry.”

You started to slide your hand down his chest and he jumped up to attention as he tried to squirm away.  “No, please, don’t— don’t touch my cock, not if I can’t come.”

“You can hold it in, can’t you?” you pouted.

“No, I can’t, I can’t,” he sobbed, watching fearfully as your hand moved down to his stomach and over his hips.  

“But I thought you were my good boy,” you frowned, suddenly wrapping your hand tight around his cock as he choked on a gasp.

“Mistress!” he sobbed.  “Please, don’t—  don’t move your hand, I’ll come.”

"Never fucking tell me what to do," you instructed firmly, just barely stroking as he cried weakly.  "I'm gonna touch you however I want and you're not gonna come because you're my good boy, right?"

"No, Mistress, I can't stop it, I'm gonna come— stop, please…"

"You'd better not fucking come," you hissed through your teeth, speeding up your movements and watching his eyes shoot wide open, "you'd better hold it in until I'm done with you."

"I'm trying— please slow down, can't take it—"

You shook your head, tutting disapprovingly.  "No, baby, I tell you what you can take."

"Oh— oh god, Mistress, please, please stop, please, I c-can't— fuck!"

You pulled your hand away the second his cock started to flex but it was too late: come was shooting from his swollen tip and painting his chest and stomach.  You didn't even wait until he was done to backhand him across the face.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled.  "I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it…"

You softened slightly when you heard his broken voice, saw the desperation and fear on his face— it was real, more real than the fake ‘no’s and the encouraging pleas for mercy.  "Baby, it's okay, you tried so hard," you soothed instantly.

Hope filled his eyes just as much as tears as he looked up at you.  "Am I still your good boy?"

"Always," you smiled, caressing his face where it was already turning red from your slap.  

You reached down and caressed his cock with the back of your fingers, watching it flex weakly.  

“Let’s get you cleaned up, alright?”

His lip twitched, almost like a wince.  “Do we… do we have to stop?”

You quickly glanced at the clock.  “Um, no,” you mumbled, “we still have time.  Just tell me what you want.”

“I wanna watch you come again…” he admitted softly.  “Is… is that okay?”

Although you weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, you were still surprised.  “Yeah, sure.”

“But… but closer this time,” he added, “not so far away.”

You were literally laying on top of him, how did that count as far away? 

“I wanna see your face,” he clarified.

“Okay,” you nodded, deciding to indulge him.  It was sort of like aftercare, except that this wasn’t exactly the ‘after’ part yet.

On your knees beside where he was leaning back against the headboard, you slipped your hand down into the lace panties again, finding your clit still swollen but not too sensitive.  A little gasp fell from your lips when you touched it, rubbing it carefully with two fingers while he looked up at your face.  

You felt slightly exposed when he watched you this close, and you didn’t know where to look to avoid direct eye contact.  Looking at his lips was just a little too tempting, so that wouldn’t work.

“My hands are a little tired,” you explained, “they might cramp up.  Maybe I could use your thigh…”

“O-okay,” he nodded, and you removed your fingers from your panties to sit down on the thick muscle of his leg.  You felt him tense up under you slightly, and you carefully began to rock your hips until your clit rubbed just right against the inside of your underwear.  Surely he could feel how wet you were— actually, you both could hear it, almost a wet clicking-like noise as the soaked lace slid against your skin.

The dynamic shifted slightly, not that you minded it, as he watched you ride him carefully.  Just as he couldn’t hide much from you when he was naked and tied up and baring his soul to you in the kinkiest way possible, you couldn’t hide your pleasure from him when he was looking at your face so up-close.  You let your hands carefully roam his body, narrowly avoiding the trails of cooling come he’d left on his stomach and chest, until you found his strong shoulders and held onto them for balance.

“Fuck,” you mumbled to yourself, biting your lip as your sore clit throbbed against his hard, muscular thigh.  

“Will you… could you kiss me?” he requested quietly, and your heart broke a little bit.  You shook your head, and he nodded in understanding.

“I’ll kiss you here,” you offered instead, whispering against his skin before you pressed your lips to his forehead, then his cheek, then his jaw.  “Is that better, James?”

“It helps,” he agreed in a sigh.  

“I’m close,” you warned quietly, pressing your cheek to his and weaving one hand into his hair.  “I’m gonna come again, on your thigh.”

“Let me touch you,” he begged, “just a little, please…”

You nodded, about to reach forward to untie one of his hands, but he snapped the ropes and you had totally forgotten he could do that.  He quickly ran his touch all over your body, calloused hands and bound wrists in stark contrast to your soft skin.  The metal one was a little cold but it didn’t bother you; the other was almost too hot, and it was like being warmed and cooled all at once.

He ran his fingers down your spine, he gripped one of your shoulders, he rubbed your legs: he did everything he must have been wishing he could do this whole time, even gasping as he ran one hand up your chest and over a cup of your bra.  Just as you sensed that he was about to ask if he could touch you there, you nodded and felt his metal hand tug down the red lace and grab your breast— thankfully not very hard, though he did give your nipple a quick pinch which made you gasp.

Burying his face in the crook of your neck, he finally settled his hands on holding your hips, just tight enough to slightly guide your movements as you rocked faster and more desperately.  “Please come,” he begged weakly, “Mistress, please… use me.”

It sort of hit you all at once then, like a punch to the gut.  Except, you know, a lot more fun than getting punched in the gut.

“James,” you gasped, legs quivering where they straddled his as a new patch of slick soaked the lace (and presumably his thigh as well).  He held you tight, kept you moving through it while your fingers tangled in his hair and your mouth fell slack for another, louder moan.

The way his lips moved over your skin, laving your collarbones and pulse point and the innermost corner of your jaw, was positively worshipful; reverent.  “Mistress,” he whispered, almost sounding like praise but tinted with awe.  Your movements slowed down to a stop and the two of you breathed a sigh together, unintentionally.  “Thank you,” he mumbled.

“What for?” you asked, blinking quickly and looking down at him, coming back to reality (though you weren’t quite sure where else it was that you had just been).

“I dunno, everything,” he decided.

“Don’t thank me,” you smiled.  “Keep paying me, though.”

He laughed a little, glancing away.  “Yeah, and I’ll pay you back for these ropes… sorry."

"No, hey, don't be sorry," you dismissed, getting up off of his leg and standing up to go grab a towel for him.  "I'm just sorry we still haven't found anything strong enough to hold you."

"It's fine, they're strong enough to make me stop myself when I want to do something I shouldn't, that's all that really matters."

You nodded to yourself as you dampened the towel and came back to wipe him off.

"I can do that for myself," he reminded you, sounding a bit embarrassed, but you thought it was sweet. 

“You just focus on getting those ropes off of yourself,” you decided with a little smile.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Flatmates - Harry Styles

i listened to kiwi while writing it so i strongly advise to listen to is while reading as well. without any further ado, i present you this flatmate!harry fic with some steamy smut!

word count: ~9k

warning: smut

masterlist

You were desperate to find a place to live, to say the least. You’ve always had trouble remembering deadlines and important dates, and thanks to this charming trait of yours, you successfully missed the deadline of the college dormitory applications. After a day of solid panic you started looking for cheap apartments, but living off campus seemed to be something only rich people could afford. Rents were ridiculously high and you were certain you couldn’t afford to spend thousands of dollars for a room smaller than your pantry back at home. You watched ad after ad, making calls all day for a week straight, but at the end, you always went to bed with the thought that you’ll have to live under a bridge through the first semester of your freshman year.

It was until a friend of yours, Rita, who was mature enough to apply to the dormitory in time called you with the best news you could receive.

“This friend of my future roomie is looking for a flat mate. You gave me his number, maybe you could give him a call and see if the room is still available. Just tell him Kimberly gave you his number, I’m sure he’ll offer you the room on a nicer price.”

“Oh my God, you just saved my life!” you gasped, almost feeling like crying. “I owe you big time, Rita!”

You called right away, not wanting to waste any time and maybe have the room already rented by then. A deep, male voice answered the call in a soothing British accent.

“Harry Styles,” he said in a calm tone.

“Hey! My name is Y/N and I got your number from Kimberly. I’m looking for a place to live from September and I was told you have a room to rent?”

Harry sounded a little hesitant at first, asked a few questions about you to have a better picture of you, but eventually offered the room. You quickly agreed that you’d be able to move in at the end of August. You were thankful you had one less worry about school finally.

August rolled around the corner faster than you expected and in no time, half your life was packed up into boxes and suitcases as you and your dad drove two hours on a Saturday to get you all settled in your new home. Up until this point, you hadn’t seen Harry just yet. Though you did search up his name, but he was the kind to never post about himself, but mostly about guitars, landscapes and animals. His Instagram was dry, no trait of what he looked like or even the slightest hint about himself. There was only one photo that featured the outline of a guy, which makes it clear that the person was fully naked, no trace of any clothes hanging on his body, but it was completely dark, so nothing could be really seen. However the tag on the figure made you think it wasn’t him, so it didn’t matter. His Facebook seemed even sadder, barely any posts, not even a decent profile picture. You were surprised to see there are people who don’t really use social media, but you didn’t take it as a bad sign. Harry must be a private person and you had nothing against that.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to move in with a guy you’ve never met before?” your dad asks as the two of you are unloading the car in front of the apartment complex. Glancing up you shrug your shoulders with a little excitement, knowing that you are only minutes away from finally seeing the person you are gonna spend your next months living with.

“He sounded like a decent person, and I really don’t have any other choice, dad. Or do you want me to sleep in a park or something?”

“God, no. You really should be more careful about those deadlines next time,” he sighs kissing the top of your head before shutting the back of the car once everything is set on the ground.

“Don’t worry, I already bought a calendar so I can keep better track of everything.”

When you first told your parents that you’d be living with Harry, they didn’t seem to be a fan of the idea, but they realized you weren’t really swimming in options at the moment so they eventually come to peace that their daughter is going to be living with a guy. They didn’t make a big deal out of it, knowing well you were an adult now practically who can make choices for herself.

The two of you manage to bring everything up to the third floor and you ring the doorbell since you don’t have your keys yet. You immediately recognize Harry’s British accent as he calls out a “coming!” from the other side of the door and a few seconds later it opens, revealing him.

Your first thought is that he is tall. Very tall and oh my! How handsome! His green eyes find your gaze and his dimples come out as he smiles at you happily. This man is surely a nice sight, you think to yourself, but you quickly bring yourself back to reality as he takes a look at all the stuff surrounding you.

“Y/N, why didn’t you call me that you were here? I could have helped you!” Taking a step outside he stretches his hand out for your dad. “Nice to meet ya, you must be Mr. Y/L/N. I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you,” your dad nods at him shaking his head before Harry grabs a box from the floor himself, holding the door open for you.

“Come on in!”

The three of you quickly bring everything inside from the hallway and you finally have a moment to look around. It’s not a big apartment, but seemingly perfect for two people. Walking in you have a small kitchen on the left and a little dining area on the right with a simple table and four chairs around it. Further inside is the living room, it’s nicely furnished very bright thanks to the large windows across the front door. On the left there’s a door that leads to the bathroom and on the right there’s a small hallway, two doors on each side. The two rooms are exactly the same size, so there was no need to have a discussion about who is getting which room. Not that you were gonna go against Harry when he literally saved your life with letting you stay with him.

The place seems tidy and neat, it’s clear that Harry takes good care of his home and that is for sure a relief.

Your room has a double bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a built in little closet. Everything is white or a light beige color, nothing extreme and you already have plans about how you want to decorate it to make it cozier.

“I left two shelves free for you out of the three. I have a few hair products, but I figured you’d need more space,” Harry tells you when you put a smaller box into the bathroom that has all your toiletries.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” you smile at him.

Your dad sticks around a little longer helping you unpack some of the bigger boxes, then you walk him down to his car before he leaves.

“Please call your mother often. You know how much she worries about you,” he asks as he pulls you into a quick hug.

“Will do.”

“And call us anytime you need help. Two hours is not that far away, I can always come and get you.”

“I’ll be alright, dad, but thank you.”

You watch him climb into the car and he rolls down the windows waving in your way as he leaves from the parking lot. You stand there until he disappears on the corner and then go back up to your apartment.

Harry is sitting in the living room when you get back, some quiet music playing from the Bluetooth speaker as he reads a book. He glances up at you and you flash him a smile closing the door behind you.

“Your dad seemed quite okay with you living with a guy.”

“He had time to get used to it. They’re not that strict though.”

“That’s cool. I was thinking, maybe we could order some food when you’re done unpacking and just get to know each other a little more.”

“That sounds great!” you smile, but can’t ignore how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Harry surely has an effect on you that you’ll need to gain control over if you don’t want to make living together hard for yourself.

It takes quite some time to unpack everything and find the right place for your stuff, you don’t even finish by the time the food arrives so you decide to leave the rest for tomorrow.

The Chinese food is all set on the table when you walk out and Harry is getting two plates for the two of you.

“Settled in?” he asks as you take one of the chairs and he sits across you.

“Not fully, but I’m getting there,” you chuckle as he hands you your order. “Thank you.”

You talk over the food, just getting to know each other and you finally get a better picture of Harry. It’s his third year of college, he is studying music and pedagogy, intending to one day use music as a helping tool for kids who have learning difficulties. He is a big fan of collecting vinyls and quite passionate about trashy rom coms.

“Really?” you chuckle when he mentions how his Netflix queue is filled with romantic movies.

“Guilty pleasure,” he nods smirking.

You tell a little about yourself too and he seems genuinely interested, which feels nice. You would have hated if he found your interests boring and negligible, but that’s not the case.

“How come you couldn’t find a roommate for so long?” you ask the question that’s been in the back of your mind for quite a while now. Both of you are done eating and you’re cleaning up the table.

Nothing really stood out about Harry just yet, it’s quite a mystery for you why he couldn’t find someone to live with him.

“Well, you could say I’m a little picky in this field. Lived with my best mate first year, and though I absolutely love him, he was horrible to live with. Felt like his personal maid the whole time. When Niall moved in with his girlfriend and I had to move on my own I promised myself I would choose carefully. Lived with a PhD student last year, he was pretty great, but he moved out when he graduated, and I couldn’t really find someone I liked since then.”

“Glad I passed then,” you chuckle as you take the dishes and start washing them while Harry stands next to you, leaning against the edge of the counter.

“You seemed like a decent person to live with, I hope I won’t be wrong about that,” he chuckles, but you can tell he is still a little scared you might turn out to be a total asshole.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be too much trouble. I’m quiet like a mouse and clean up after myself.”

“That’s all that matters,” he smiles. “Alright, I have some things to finish, I’ll be in my room if you need help with anything.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He waves in your way before disappearing in his bedroom.

You spend most of your Sunday unpacking what was left and running errands, buying groceries so you don’t have to go to the store every other day during the week. You occasionally meet Harry in the kitchen or the living room, but you both just do your own thing and it’s totally fine by you.

School starts quiet smoothly, Harry was kind enough to give you a rundown of where you’ll find your lecture halls so you don’t really get lost around campus, easily finding your way.

Friday afternoon you and Rita are sitting at a café near campus to discuss the first week of school. You don’t have any classes together, so only grabbed lunch two times all week, but didn’t have more than twenty minutes together before one of you had to run to a class. Now you are both comfortably sat in a booth with two cappuccinos and plenty of time to talk.

“So, how is living with Harry?” she curiously asks.

“He is great! Though we don’t meet that much. He has a band so he has practice three times a week, spends the rest of his time at home reading or watching TV.”

You ate dinner together twice this week, but you haven’t really had the courage to join him in the living room when he was watching TV. It sounds stupid but you figured maybe it would bother him if you were out there with him. And since he didn’t invite you either, you just stayed in your room mostly.

“Kimberly told me he is hot, is that true?” she asks with a smirk as she takes a sip from her hot drink. You immediately feel your cheeks heating up.

“Well, he surely is a good looking guy,” you breathe out.

“Lucky you! There’s not much of those in an all girls dorm,” she pouts and you chuckle. “So are you gonna make a move on him?”

“That’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head laughing.

“Why not?”

“Because we live together and if he rejects me that would be so awkward for the rest of our time living together.”

“But you can’t know for sure if he would reject,” she points out, but she can’t bring up one thing that would change your mind.

“It’s better not to take the odds. I don’t want to end up on the street.”

 As the days go by, things start to get busier in your everydays. Assignments and papers start to pile up so you have to start working on them if you don’t want to leave everything to the last moment. You become a regular in the library, the atmosphere is great for you to get into the flow and get a lot of work done.

It seems like Harry is in the same shoe, he is often in and out of the apartment, sometimes only spends home just a couple of minutes before he leaves again. However they slowly get accustomed to each other, learn the ways the other likes things and work up a schedule for things. Harry learns that Y/N likes to take a shower twice a day and washes her hair usually on Wednesdays and Sundays, so he doesn’t try to take too much time in the bathroom on those days. He also notices how she doesn’t have time to wash the dishes after herself on Thursdays when she just runs home to have a quick bite before she has to leave for another lecture, so they came to a silent agreement where Harry cleans up after her on Thursdays while she takes up on the dishes on Saturday when Harry leaves to band practice at eight.

They work well together and soon enough all of Harry’s doubts about Y/N fade into nothing and he realizes he has made the right choice with her.

Usually she stays at the library until seven on Mondays, but this week they are closing early because they are rearranging a whole department, so Y/N leaves a little after five. She pays a quick trip to the grocery store before she heads home. Opening up the door she immediately hears the music playing, one of Harry’s vinyls is twirling around in the record player and she hears the water running in the bathroom. Setting her bags on the counter she starts unpacking the groceries.

The music and the running water pushed the sound of her arriving down, Harry didn't realize that you were home early when he opens the bathroom door, singing to himself wearing absolutely nothing as he wants to go and grab a pair of clean underwear, but he is shocked to see you standing in the kitchen.

“Shit!” he snaps, hands immediately flying to cover himself as he sprints back to the bathroom quickly grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist.

Your cheeks are heating up immediately even though you didn’t see anything you weren’t supposed to, the counter top covered him just right above the critical line, but it’s the first time you’ve seen his upper body completely naked.

Even though it was just a spit second, the sight of his many tattoos and the defined V-line leading down to his crotch burned straight into your mind, leaving you flustered and shy all of a sudden.

“Sorry! I should have let you know I was coming home early!” you call out turning around, as if he was about to walk out naked again. Harry chuckles lightly as he returns, this time a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t be silly, you don’t have to check in when you come home. It was my fault, I shouldn’t just walk around naked assuming you wouldn’t be home.”

You should, you think to yourself gulping as you turn around and dare to look at him again. You don’t see less than just a few seconds ago, his chest is glistening from the dampness, his curls are still wet and you are having a hard time not to stare at the tattoos on his lower stomach, so you busy yourself with the rest of your groceries as he walks into his room and returns in a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.

“Any plans for the weekend?” he asks disappearing in the bathroom, but he leaves the door open and you hear him shuffle around, probably fixing up his hair. He uses some kind of mousse that keeps his curls perfectly and also happens to smell like mango and some kind of citrus.

“Um, not really.”

“We’re playing at this bar with the band, wanna come and watch us?” Walking out of the bathroom he switches the light off before walking to the couch and opening up his Netflix account on the TV. His invitation surprises you, but it also feels nice he wants you there.

“Oh, sounds fun! Can I bring someone?”

“Of course! I can have a table reserved for you, if you’d like,” he smiles at you before turning his attention to the screen.

“That would be great, thanks.”

You feel like after your little encounter it’s probably not the best day to join him at the TV, especially because you can’t stop yourself from blushing every time you look at him. The sight of his naked torso pops up in your mind every time and there’s no way you can just casually sit on the couch with him without your body lighting up on fire.

 Rita is excited when you tell her about the invitation, you don’t even have to convince her to go with you since she is dying to finally meet Harry. When he leaves in the early afternoon on Saturday he assures you that there’s gonna be a table reserved under your name, and off he goes to practice, leaving you alone for the rest of the day since he tells you he won’t be back before the concert tonight. Rita comes over around six and the two of you get ready together.

“You have to wear something spicy,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you while you sit at your desk applying mascara to your lashes.

“I don’t want to overdress, it’s just a bar.”

“Yeah, but Harry invited you. I bet he wants you to see him play.”

“Of course he wants, why else would he invite me?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“You don’t get it,” she chuckles turning to you, hands on her hips. “He wants you to see him play because it feeds his ego. Maybe even turns him on.”

“Stop acting like there is anything between us. We are flatmates and that’s all.”

“I think he wants to be more, you’re just too pussy to make a move yourself,” she shrugs turning back to your closet.

“Stop calling me a pussy for not wanting to make it awkward for the two of us to live together. I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t see me as anything more than just the person he lives with.”

“Then we have to change that. And I think this is the perfect dress for that.”

Rita pulls out a little black dress you bought about a year ago, but never really got around to wear it. It’s so tight, pushes your tits up way too much for your liking, you’re not even sure why you bought it in the first place.

“I’m not wearing that,” you shake your head.

“Are you afraid he might get a boner from you in it?”

“Rita!” you snap at her, but she just chuckles.

“Look, if you’re so sure he doesn’t want you like that, why does it matter what you wear?”

She has a point. It’s not like this dress will change anything and it would be nice to wear at least once in your life this stupid dress if you bought it.

Grabbing it from her hands you throw it to the bed and start undressing as she claps in victory.

You remembered right, the dress leaves close to nothing to the imagination when it comes to your figure. The fabric hugs your figure tightly, and you put on a lacy bralette that peeks out at the top of the dress, kind of covering some more from your skin, since the dress doesn’t do much in that field itself. Rita tries to convince you not to take a jacket, but you throw your denim jacket on, feeling the need to have something give you the slightest sense of being covered.

You arrive at the bar twenty minutes before the concert starts and it’s a good thing Harry reserved a table for you, because the place is packed. You’re not sure if it’s because of them or it’s just a regular Saturday evening.

The little stage is all set up, but you see no sign of Harry anywhere as the two of you settle at your table with a drink. Luckily, the bartender did not ask for an ID, he was too busy looking at your chest. At least there’s one good thing in this dress.

The drum set at the back has the name of the band on it and you smile reading it. The word ‘Stylish’ is printed on it with bold blue letters, referring to Harry’s last name, who is most likely the front man of the band.

The place is buzzing and the two of you enjoy being out at a bar concert. When the lights go down you finally spot him walking out of the back followed by a guy and two girls.

“Welcome, folks,” he greets the audience, his accent filling up the place over the chatters. A round of cheering answers him, making him smile. “Thank you for coming out tonight, we hope to entertain you in the next hour. Our name is Stylish and now let’s get down to business,” he smirks and just as he takes a step back from the mic, the band starts playing. Harry grabs a guitar himself before stepping back to the mic and then he starts singing.

They play a mixture of covers and original songs, the transition between them is so smooth you sometimes forget it’s a whole different song that’s playing. Harry is clearly enjoying the spotlight, his presence on the stage is so natural and capturing, you often catch yourself forgetting about the rest of the band.

One song follows the other and you don’t even realize how fast this hour passes by. Harry sometimes stops in-between songs, entertaining the audience with small jokes and just casually interacting with them.

“Our last song is up next, so let me take a moment to introduce the band,” Harry speaks into the mic while softly playing the guitar so it’s not completely quiet as he talks. “At the drums, the amazing and talented Sarah Jones!”

A round of applause fills the bar as Sara waves around smiling widely, before Harry moves on to the next member.

“Playing the piano, the wonderful Charlotte Clark!”

Charlotte plays a short melody on the keys matching up with what Harry has been playing, before she also waves at the audience.

“The guy who is a way better guitarist than me, Mitch Rowland.”

Harry’s comment makes the audience laugh and Mitch just nods shyly, a smile pulling on his lips under his mustache.

“And this handsome Brit who sometimes acts like a comedian,” Sarah starts leaning closer to her mic. “Harry Styles.”

It’s no surprise that Harry gets the biggest cheering and he smirks sweetly, his fingers still strumming on the guitar. The clapping and screaming slowly dies down and as Harry steps back to his mic they start the last song.

It’s quite an upbeat, funky song, you just can’t resist dancing around on your chair and seemingly Rita is enjoying herself as well, cheering with her beer in her hand. The song comes to an end and they all line up at the front of the stage bowing down together as the whole bar cheers on them as one person.

“Woah, this was… something else,” Rita breathes out once they disappear at the back and chatter fills up the place once again and the lights come back.

“They smashed it!” you nod in agreement. You figured they are good if they get asked to perform, but this was way beyond what you were expecting.

Looking around you are hoping to see Harry somewhere, but they must be celebrating somewhere at the back. Maybe he won’t even come out, you think to yourself as you finish up your beer.

“I’ll get us another round,” you tell Rita as you make your way to the bar.

There are quite a few people waiting to be served, so you squeeze yourself into the crowd and hope to get to the front soon.

“So how did you like it?”

You jump in surprise when you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, and turning around you see how close he is standing to you.

“Hi! I didn’t even see you sneak up on me,” you chuckle making him smile as he squeezes himself next to you. The two of you finally reach the front, but the bartender is serving someone a little on the left so you have to wait. “I loved it, you were like a proper rockstar up there!”

“Thanks,” he chuckles and his dimples show up on his cheeks. The bartender finally gets to you and Harry is quick to order for the both of you. “’S probably better if I place the order since you’re not twenty one just yet.”

“Didn’t have any problem ordering the first time,” you smirk smugly and Harry raises his eyebrows at you before his eyes wander down your body for a second.

“I bet you didn’t in this dress.”

Suddenly, you’re very aware of how daring your outfit looks, so out of reflex, you pull your jacket tighter on yourself, Harry’s smile quickly fades as he realizes that he made you uncomfortable with his comment.

“I meant that you look really pretty. Definitely makes you appear a little older though.”

“My friend wanted me to wear it, I would have been fine with something else,” you admit as the bartender places your order in front of you and Harry pays for the whole thing.

“Glad she convinced you,” he grins down at you and you can feel your cheeks heating up once again.

He helps you carry the drinks to the table and Rita quickly puts her phone away when she sees who you are returning with.

“Harry, this is my friend, Rita. Rita, this is Harry,” you introduce them and Harry shakes her head smiling.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods kindly.

“Oh, same goes for you,” Rita smirks and you roll your eyes at her.

“I’ll go get the rest of the band, do you mind if we join you guys here? There are no empty tables.”

“Sure,” you nod smiling before the crowd swallows Harry.

“For fuck’s sake, you have to make a move on him, Y/N!” Rita turns to you as soon as he is gone.

“Would you stop?” you chuckle.

“No! This dude is so hot I forget my name when I look at him! And you live with him! You can’t miss this chance, Y/N.”

“I’m not missing anything. We live together, it’s not worth it.”

“Not missing anything?” Rita looks at you as if you were mental. “You are literally missing everything!”

“I’m done with this conversation,” you tell him just when Harry appears again, this time with two of his bandmates, Sarah and Mitch are following him smiling, hand in hand.

“Charlotte had to leave early, but this is Sarah and Mitch,” Harry introduces them as they join the two of you at the table. “And this is my flatmate, Y/N and her friend Rita.”

You all shake hands as Harry sorts out the extra beers he has ordered so everyone has a drink on their hand.

It’s no surprise, but Sarah and Mitch prove themselves to be just as cool as they seemed up on the stage. And the best thing is that they don’t shy away from sharing funny stories that include Harry.

“So have you been looking for a new place to stay, Y/N?” Mitch jokes. “I’m sure you’ve had enough of Harry by now.”

“Very funny,” Harry laughs at his bandmate’s comment.

“To be honest it’s pretty fine so far. He is a pleasant person to share your home with,” you say with a soft chuckle.

“What’s one thing you hate about living with him?” Sarah asks and Harry pretends to be hurt over the question.

“Who said there’s anything she hates?”

“Shush, I was asking her!” she hushes at him making you laugh.

“I really can’t point out anything in particular. Maybe he has been very careful, luring me into believing that he is the perfect flatmate so I get stuck with him.”

You stay for a while, just chatting and having a good time until the bar starts to empty out and you decide it’s better if you head home as well.

“We have to take care of the equipment, are you leaving or do you want to wait for me?” Harry asks you.

“We’ll just call an Uber, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.

“Alright, see you at home.”

You say goodbye to Sarah and Mitch and part your ways with them as you and Rite head outside.

“I hope you noticed how Harry was looking at you,” Rita smirks at you when the two of you are sitting at the back of the Uber.

“What are you talking about?” you sigh leaning your head against the seat.

“I caught him staring at you quite a few times.”

“He was just probably looking at me when I was talking. Don’t try to talk something into it that’s not true.”

“Alright, I’ll stop,” she replies holding up her hands. “But I still think you are missing out on some amazing dick.”

You awkwardly glance at the driver who is hearing everything you say, but Rita seemingly doesn’t mind that you’re not alone.

“You know what? We should give Tinder a try.”

“What? Why?”

“If you don’t want to make a move on your hot flatmate, we need to get some satisfaction from others.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, you are not,” she chuckles. “But you will be when you match with the hottest guys on campus.”

You let Rita believe that she convinced you to sign up for Tinder, but you get out of the car with the intention of never downloading the app, like ever.

Walking into the apartment you grab a clean, oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties since your sleeping shorts are all dirty, but you were planning to do the laundry tomorrow. You decide it’s not a big deal and the shirt will probably cover enough of your body.

You take a quick shower to get off the thick smell of the bar that’s stuck on your skin, taking your time moisturizing yourself once you’re done. When you get dressed you see that the shirt does cover your bum, but if you lifted your arms up it surely shows a big portion of your ass, so you’ll have to be careful if Harry arrives.

You’re lounging on the couch watching a rerun of House M.D. and scrolling through your phone when Harry arrives.

“Hey there, rockstar!” you greet him teasingly and he just chuckles shyly.

“Is it gonna be my new nickname?”

“Well, you really were one tonight, so I think yes,” you nod making him laugh. Walking further inside his eyes stop on your bare legs and he is quick to notice that you’re not wearing any pants, like you usually do. You immediately tug on the end of the shirt to cover more of your skin, but it’s not really working.

“Ehm, I’ll go and take a quick shower,” he informs you before disappearing in his room first and then rushing into the bathroom.

Looking down at your attire you decide it’ll be better if you threw on some sweats. Harry clearly got a little uncomfortable seeing you so bare, so it’s better to cover up. You’ll just take them off when you go to bed.

Harry doesn’t take too long in there, and when he joins you on the couch you are pretty sure he took a cold shower since no steam followed him when he left the bathroom. His eyes flicker to your now covered legs, but he doesn’t say anything, just makes himself comfortable next to you.

“You like it?” he asks nodding at the TV.

“Yeah, he is such an asshole, but it’s funny,” you huff. “Hey, I took a few pictures tonight. Wanna see if you like any of them?”

“Sure,” he nods pushing himself up a little as you unlock your phone and show him the photos you took of him and the band while performing.

Some of them ended up really cool, you were able to catch the lights and their movements just the right way, especially one stands out where he was holding out a note, basically screaming into the mic, he really looks like a rockstar on that one.

“Can you send me this one?”

“Done,” you smile at him and glancing over you see that he opens the Instagram app on his phone. You watch him crop and adjust it a little bit, then tag his bandmates and finally, he posts it.

“Wow, this is the first picture on your page with you actually on it,” you tease him.

“So you’ve been stalking my profile?” he smirks at you.

“I wanted to check you out before I moved in, but your social media was no help in that.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of posting that much, but this was a cool picture.”

“It’s an honor to know that I took the first one featuring you.”

“Actually, this is the second one, but it is the first one where my face is visible,” Harry tells you before turning his attention back to the TV, but the gears start to turn wildly in your mind, trying to remember which picture could be the other one.

Later, when you’re lying in your bed with your door closed, you pull up his profile and stat scrolling down. Most of the pictures fall out, because they have absolutely no trace of any human being on them. But then you stop at the one that features a black silhouette of a man, the one you thought wasn’t him.

Opening up you tap on the tag and see that it leads to Mitch’s profile, but now that you’ve met him, you’re pretty sure it’s not him in the picture. So you take a closer look and as you go over the small details, like the line of his neck, how wide his shoulders are and the untamed curls, you soon realize that it is indeed Harry in the photo.

You push down a moan when realization sets in, because that means that you’re staring at the naked silhouette of Harry and it immediately starts a fire between your legs.

“Jesus,” you whisper as you let yourself stare at the photo a little longer. You weren’t expecting it, but it’s surely making you feel some kind of way.

Locking your phone you throw it to your nightstand before you bury your head into your pillow. You have to press your thighs together quite tightly to make the throbbing sensation stop so you can finally fall asleep. Well, it takes some time before that happens and it’s quite torturous.

  Unlike how you planned, Rita finally gets you to download Tinder and give it a try. She helps you set up your profile, and though at first it feels incredibly awkward, you slowly adjust to being out there on the virtual market.

You start swiping left and right whenever you are bored during classes or you’re having a break from studying. Your matches start to pile up and soon enough you start getting messages as well. You reply to the ones you like or find funny and creative, giving them a chance, but not many end up going too far. Somehow the conversations always die down and you lose interest in the person.

Only one guy gets as far as asking you out and getting a yes as an answer. Jordan is a physics major and seemed like a nice and funny guy through the messages, good-looking too, so you decided to give it a go.

So Friday evening you dolled yourself up, put on a nice blouse with your favorite skinny jeans and black heels, ready to head out to your first ever Tinder date.

As you walk out of your room you find Harry in the kitchen in his basketball shorts and a simple black t-shirt making himself a cup of tea. The shorts are hanging low on his waist and as he reaches up to get the hones from the cupboard you get a glimpse of the soft skin on his lower waist. You quickly look away before you could have any further thoughts about what else is under the waistband of his shorts.

“Oh, where are you heading all dressed up?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“I actually have a date,” you admit nervously as you grab your keys and put it away in your purse.

“Lucky guy,” he smiles and you can feel your cheeks heating up again. There’s just something in the way he compliments you, it makes your knees go jelly.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later? I’m not sure when I’ll be back,” you tell him grabbing your jacket from the hanger next to the front door.

“Have fun,” he nods before you walk out.

 Jordan proves himself to be quite frankly the same guy you got to know through messages. He takes you to this Mexican themed bar and you are just chatting over some exciting looking cocktails, but you find yourself zoning out sometimes.

What is Harry doing right now? Is he staying at home? I should have asked if he had any plans. Maybe he is hooking up with someone right now.

You find yourself thinking about way more than you probably should and it’s making you lose your shit. So maybe this is why, or because Rita told you to just go with the flow, but when Jordan asks if you want to go up to his place you say yes.

It’s as awkward and bad as you were expecting, unfortunately. There’s a reason why you don’t hook up with every random guy you go out with once. You are totally on different pages, but when you are lying under him on his bed, you just know there’s no way out.

It’s not that he forces you, because you’re sure he would have stopped if you asked, but it would be so awkward to just walk out because you weren’t feeling the vibe. So at least one of you should enjoy it.

You should deserve an Oscar for that orgasm you fake, it’s so believable. Jordan doesn’t seem to notice that you felt absolutely nothing, just frustration and impatience, he tries to make you stay the night, but you save yourself with a lie that you have to wake up early in the morning so it’s best if you head home.

Your frustration just grows on your way home. You were really hoping to get laid tonight, so maybe that could stop you from fantasizing about Harry, because your thoughts have been wild since you found out that he is the one on that Instagram picture. It doesn’t help that he has been walking around shirtless quite a lot.

Shameful or not, you even touched yourself once thinking about him. You were home alone after a particularly boring day so you thought you’d just get yourself off. Before you could realize where your thoughts have wandered, you were moaning his name as you came hard. You couldn’t look into his eyes that day when he came home, he probably thought you were nuts, basically running away from him.

It’s almost midnight when you get back home, you were expecting Harry to be asleep by now since he has band practice in the morning, but you are surprised to see light coming from his room. As you close the front door, kicking your heels off he walks out, of course, without a shirt, his glorious body on full display.

“Hey, how was your date?” he asks as you step to the fridge to get yourself something to drink. You’ve been so damn thirsty since Jordan was… done with you, you could have asked for some water at least, but you just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

“Ugh, don’t even ask,” you whine, leaning against the counter.

“That bad?”

“Worse,” you roll your eyes and Harry chuckles softly.

“Come on, it couldn’t be that bad if you came home so late.”

“Well, it did start off nice, but I shouldn’t have said yes when he asked if I wanted to go to his place.”

“Oh.”

“Worst sex of my life, I wanted out the moment we arrived, to be honest,” you honestly say, feeling a little weird that you’re talking to Harry about it, but you just want to get it off your chest.

“Then why didn’t you just leave?”

“Dunno, I just… I was hoping for just a little satisfaction, but I guess I asked for too much,” you sigh finishing up your water and you walk past him with the intention to grab your pajamas and have a shower that would wash away the happenings of the night, but Harry’s voice stops you.

“Not everything is lost just yet.” Turning around you give him a puzzled look.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He bites into his bottom lip and lets his eyes travel down your body, his intent gaze sends a shiver down your spine. When his eyes return to your gaze your heart is wildly beating against your chest.

“I mean that… I can make you feel good, if you want.”

Your mouth hangs open and your eyebrows shoot up at the blunt offer he just made. At first you’re not even sure you heard him right, but as you replay his words you realize that you indeed heard him crystal clear.

“Are you messing with me right now?” you ask, feeling like it’s all just a joke. He did not just offer to satisfy you because you complained to him about how bad your date was.

Harry takes a few steps closer to you, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

“Not really. You want to get off and I would love to be the one to help you with it.”

“But… we live together,” you say and realize how stupid this just sounded, but you hope he gets what you were trying to say.

“So? Does that mean we can’t fuck?”

The way he said that makes your legs go weak for sure. You’ve been fantasizing about things similar to this, but those were nowhere near to actually hear him propose the idea of fucking.

“But… it’ll be weird, won’t it?”

“Only if we make it.”

He walks closer, closing the distance between the two of you and he cups your cheek in his hand as his eyes flicker down to your lips.

“Harry…” you breathe out, but you already know you gave in. There’s no way you can say him no, not after weeks of dreaming about the exact same thing.

“Just stop thinking,” he tells you before pressing his lips against yours.

He kisses you hard and you gladly let his tongue push into your mouth within a second, kissing him back with the same passion. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands travel down on your sides until they reach your ass and they give it a bold squeeze, making you moan into his lips. You feel him grin as his hands move over to your thighs and he urges you to jump and so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Though you keep your eyes closed, kissing him hard, you can tell he brings you to the couch, laying you down to your back, holding himself up above you. He starts kissing down your jawline and neck, sucking and biting on the sensitive skin. His hands grab the hem of your shirt and you lift yourself up a bit so he can pull it off, throwing it away to somewhere behind the couch. While his lips are sucking on your breasts wherever they are bulging out from the lacy bra, his hands work fast on your jeans, undoing the button and the zipper, tugging them down until you can just kick them right off.

“Matching set? You were really counting on having a good time tonight,” he mumbles against your tummy as he kisses his way down on your body.

His right hand reaches up and cups your breast before it slides under you and easily unclasps your bra. You quickly slide the straps off and throw it to the side, so now you are lying under him only in your panties, whimpering and panting at every kiss he leaves on your body.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he hums glancing up at you, sitting between your legs as he slides just one finger over your soaking wet panties, running it along your throbbing center.

“Fuck, I want you,” you breathe out.

“How exactly do you want me?”

“Jesus, just eat me out, Harry!” you shamelessly moan and he smugly smirks before he hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down, throwing it to the ground.

Now you’re lying completely naked in front of him, and he pushes your knees farther apart, looking down at you with lustful eyes.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he growls as he gets closer and without a warning, he licks into you.

You moan in sensation as he starts sucking on your clit, his tongue working perfectly against your bud. Your hands find their way into his hair and you grab a handful of it in each. Oh, how many times you’ve thought about doing this!

“Harry!” you cry out when you feel him push a finger into you, slowly pumping it in and out a few times before he adds another to it. He quickly picks up his pace as he keeps sucking on your clit, getting you closer to your orgasm with every lick.

“Fuck, I’m so close!” you moan, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggle to even breathe.

“Cum for me, baby,” he mumbles against your wet clit and just a few more pumps later you came, screaming his name.

“Fucking hell, Harry!” you breathe out when he climbs up on you smirking.

“You think you can handle another one?” he asks, pecking your lips softly. Looking down you see how hard he is and even if you were on the verge of dying you would have said yes. There’s no way you let him get up from this couch unsatisfied after the orgasm he just gave you.

Instead of saying anything, you push on him until he is sitting on the couch and you have your knees on his sides.

“I think you are a little overdressed, aren’t you?” you ask teasingly as you bring a hand down to his erection, cupping it through his shorts and underwear.

Harry cranes his neck so his lips could meet yours again as he lifts his hips up, pushing his shorts down along with his boxers. You sit back down to his lap and his erection presses against your wet folds making you moan into his mouth.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” you ask breathlessly, but Harry shakes his head.

“I would last, I just want to fuck you,” he growls and you swear to God that was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

“Condom, we need a condom,” you tell him, still kissing his lips.

You get off him and he quickly runs into his room, shortly returning with a condom between his teeth. He rips the package on his way and falls back to the couch, rolling it on carefully. When he is done you swing your leg over him and get on top again, holding onto his broad shoulders. He grabs the base of his cock and lines himself up to your center and you give yourself a moment to admire his naked beauty right in front of you.

You look into his sparkling eyes and leaning down you kiss him hard as you slowly ease down to his length, his cock slowly filling you up fully.

“Oh fuck!” he moans at the feeling of you around him. His fingers dig deep into your waist as you stay still for a few moments, adjusting to his length. “You alright?” he asks breathlessly. Your eyes meet his and you nod a little before you start moving.

It takes a few moments to find the right pace and get yourself comfortable, but when you finally do, you just can’t stop. His hands are on your ass as he guides your hips a little and you feel the rings on his fingers against your heated skin. He buries his face into your neck nibbling and kissing on the soft skin wherever he reaches.

“Fuck, you look so fucking hot, Y/N,” he grunts when you let your head fall back, feeling your orgasm slowly building up again.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum again,” you pant, picking up a faster pace, desperate for release.

“Cum for me, baby. Let me make you feel good!” he moans wrapping his arms around you as he holds you still, stopping you from moving, but instead he starts thrusting into you, his cock buries so deep into your pussy, your eyes roll back into your head from the feeling.

“Yes! Don’t fucking stop!” you scream as he keeps fucking you hard.

It doesn’t take too long until you fall completely apart and cum again, your legs basically turning into jelly. Just a few thrusts later Harry cums as well, thrusting deep into you a few more times as he moans into your neck.

You lie completely numb on him, his fingers gently stroking your naked back as you try to come back to reality. When you lean back and your eyes meet again you are still speechless.

“I’ve literally wanted it since the day you walked into this place,” he admits with a soft chuckle.

“Really?” you giggle shyly.

“Oh, really. Seeing you around, sometimes without a bra under your shirt completely killed me most of the time.”

Your cheeks are heating up, you didn’t think he noticed when you weren’t wearing a bra.

“Don’t be so shy, you have amazing tits, you are not allowed to wear a bra anymore around here,” he teases you grinning as you laugh and leaning down you kiss him shortly.

“I had quite a few fantasies about you too,” you admit making him raise his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Mhm, especially after you walked out of the bathroom naked, even though I didn’t even see your dick then.”

Harry chuckles lightly as he pushes his hair back from his forehead, resting his head against the back of the couch.

“So…” you shyly start, ”what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that… we live together and we just fucked. What does this mean for the future?”

“Well, I thought that next time we could do it the right way. I could take you out on a proper date, and then fuck you on the kitchen counter.”

You laugh at how blunt he is, but you love the idea he just proposed.

“Okay. Sounds fine by me.”

[kinsurou]

After Class

Pairings: Takami Keigo x Reader

Warnings: Smut (18+), No Quirks! AU, Sex in a classroom, Reader is a virgin.

Here's my very first piece of smut, please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the show!

It takes all of your willpower to hold back the pent-up rage growing inside you like a fire doused in gasoline, everyone in the classroom can see the poker face you're trying to maintain is dangerously close to break and let out a horrifying monster called your temper.

Everyone except for the teacher can see you're nearly at your limit, there's an enormous urge to punch someone in the face that keeps growing, and that someone just happens to be the same woman giving you an earful in front of the whole class.

"You should be paying more attention during class instead of being on your phone!" She turns back towards the rest of her students. "Let this be an example to all of you! Don't be like your classmate here!"

She slams her bottle of water in your desk, for dramatic purpose, and finally, she walks back to her own desk, feeling satisfied with her actions. How in the world did someone like her become a college teacher in the first place is a question you'll never get a proper answer to.

There's actually a reason why she's been treating you like this for the past two weeks. A reason that just happens to walk inside the classroom a few minutes after the bell rings, he's carrying a stack of papers in hand, accompanied by a lazy grin stretched all over his face, but that expression quickly shifts to confusion and concern once he feels the tension inside the classroom.

"Sheesh, what's with the long faces guys?"

The teacher's mood flips in an instant. She starts greeting him with a big smile, and there's a not so subtle glint in her eyes that makes many, if not all of her students, cringe in repulse.

"Hi there Takami! Now this is a surprise, is Tanaka not coming today?"

"Good morning to you too Ms. Ito." He replies. "No, professor Tanaka called in sick, but he asked me to watch over the kids for today and hand out their exams. Though judging by everyone's mood, I'm guessing something happened?"

Ito just waves off his question nonchalantly. "I was just talking to everyone not to follow their classmate's example," She throws a dirty look at you from the corner of her eye. "Can you believe the nerve of this girl? Being on her phone in the middle of my lecture? Some people are just completely ungrateful when it comes to their education!"

In the meantime, you're biting down on your lower lip with such force, it's almost a surprise there's not a sight of blood, you're trying so very hard to ignore her snide remarks, all in favor of taking notes from the whiteboard in front of the classroom.

The only thing you were to blame for was forgetting to put your phone on Silent, otherwise she wouldn't have batted an eye when the device rang with a text from your mother. And yet all this woman wanted was an excuse to make you look bad in front of everyone, she just happened to find one at the right moment.

"He's so looking your way right now˜. "Your best friend whispers from your right, with that teasing tone you know all too well.

"Shut.up." You hiss, not really in the mood for another earful after the little stunt with the teacher.

You don't bother paying attention while the blond's gaze lingers on you, disregarding the woman's attempt to get the spotlight with ease, leaving her desperate to make another futile attempt until she finally realizes her class is over. All she can do to keep the remains of her dignity is walk out of the classroom with a huff and a sour attitude.

You feel pity for the students in her next class, they haven't even started the lesson yet and are going to have to deal with the human equivalent of a Tasmanian devil. You could almost listen to her yelling from across the campus already.

Takami Keigo, also nicknamed "Hawks" by his friends, is a teacher's assistant at your college. Older than the majority of your class only by two years, and yet he behaves in such a professional manner with everyone that is hard to believe he's actually a student as well.

It's hard not to like him when he's so chill with everyone, for even in cases like this, when he's asked to take over after a teacher's unavailable, Hawk's only assignment is to stay with the class during the whole period. This time however, he comes carrying a stack of papers.

"Alright kids," He starts, just to be interrupted by one of your classmates.

"Seriously Hawks? You're not that older than us!" They're obviously joking around with him, it's hard to be serious when this guy is around.

"Respect your elders kid!" Laughter fills the whole classroom, dissipating the tension in the air like it's nothing but mist.

Everyone but you is laughing their hearts out, until Hawks points out the contents of the papers.

"As I was saying, Your teacher had to attend some personal business, but he asked me to hand out your test results, and let me tell you guys one thing..." The following silence leaves everyone on edge. "All of you did an amazing job! I don't think I've ever seen so many good notes in a single classroom!"

Everyone starts yelling at him comically. All of you know just how much he enjoys teasing people, but somehow you can't ever get used to his teasing, and he knows it, it's why he's always abusing of his little tendency.

Anybody could agree he's the total opposite of Miss Ito. A 27-years old teacher who's always arguing with her own students for something as insignificant as yawning. Someone who apparently forgot the rule where it says it's strictly forbidden for a teacher to date a student.

That doesn't seem to stop her from throwing hints at a small group of guys, each from a different classroom, and it most certainly doesn't stop her from trying to flirt with the new teacher's assistant.

Hawks starts walking through each row of desks, handing out the papers one by one, each time he gives somebody their sheet of paper you can hear him telling everyone they did a good job.

Once he hands out your own test, his fingers brush against your own with subtleness, sending a small shiver all the way down your arms.

"Good job kid, You had one of the best grades out of the whole class. Your teacher said the same thing too, y'know." The way he says those words with such a reassuring energy makes all the anger inside you leave, no longer the urges to smack somebody tempts you to go looking for Miss Ito and shove your papers up her nose.

All you can muster is a small smile at the guy standing in front of you.

He smiles in return and walks to the next row of seats, ready to hand out the rest of the results.

It's only after he leaves your sight that you see it. A small post it note at the corner of your exam, and judging by the neat handwriting, it's a note from Hawks.

"Meet me after class, there's something I'd like to discuss with you."

Just when in the world did he write this? You didn't even notice when he put the tiny piece of paper in your test.

...Were you in trouble for something?

"Look Y/N! I've never had such a high grade before!" Your friend's voice snaps you out of the small paranoic fit. Turning towards him, your eyes widen in shock after seeing the results, and even you are surprised by how well he did on his exam.

"What the hell F/N? You got a perfect score!" You can't help the smile of pride that comes out, proud at F/N for getting such a good grade. He wasn't the worst student, but he wasn't the best either, so seeing the perfect score in his paper was something worth celebrating for.

The rest of the class goes by pretty quickly. Most of the time is spent reviewing the results of your exams with each other, and organizing future study sessions for the subjects you happened to have the most trouble with.

The loud ringing of the bell indicates the end of the last period. And with that everyone can finally leave for the day.

Except for you...

"We have to celebrate this! What do you say we go to that pizza place we love?" F/N stands from his chair to stretch his whole body, you wince at the loud "POP!" coming from his back.

"Maybe tomorrow? There's something I need to do first..." Your eyes wander back to the little pocket in your bag, where the little neon yellow note is carefully tucked away.

"Alright, I'll call you tonight then! See you on Saturday!" With that he walks out of the room along with the rest of your classmates. You're slowly putting all your stuff inside your bag, and it's until the last book is neatly stored alongside the rest of the notebooks and pens that you look up from your seat.

And he's sitting on top of the teacher's desk, Hawks keeps staring at you with something unknown deep inside those amber eyes of his, something lingers in that look and it makes you feel weird on the inside.

But you managed to keep calm before he starts talking.

"That was quite the ruckus back there, uh?" He chuckles, eyes closed as he leans back on the wooden surface.

All you can do is sigh in annoyance at the reminder of your teacher's words.

"Do you want me to remind you why she's being a bitch to me in the first place?" Your mind is faster than your brain, a hand shots up to cover it in shame once you realize what you just called her in front of an unofficial staff member.

But his laughter only becomes louder at your words. Hawks is literally shaking in place, small tears prickling his eyes and head tilted back.

"Easy there, I'm fully aware of it and I take the full blame for it."

He knows it's his fault Miss Ito hates you right now, all because the blond haired male was being friendly with you the other day. The same guy she had laid her eyes on. If there's something you all know is that when Miss Ito gets her eyes on someone single, approaching them is like a death sentence.

Sadly you became one of her targets by pure accident. And now you have to suffer the consequences of something unnecessary.

"But look at the bright side," He goes on. "She can't really lower your grades for no reason, count the fact you have one of the highest grades in her class and it'll look suspicious if you ask me. So for now, just keep up the good work."

You take another look at his features while getting up from your chair. His eyes hold nothing but sincerity, the easy going mood as he stands up from his seat is still evident.

But once he starts getting closer everything changes in the blink of an eye.

He's standing right in front of you, his arms caging your body between his own and your desk. The smell of his cologne quickly invading your nostrils. A subtle combination between citrus and musk that seems to fit Hawks perfectly, it's an alluring and addictive smell that makes you want to lean forward and breath said scent deeply.

That snaps you back to reality, and causes you to look up at him in the eye. A hue of crimson crawling its way up from your neck to your whole face. The whole room's beginning to spin all around you from the nerves struggling to take control.

"W-What are you doing?" The feigned confidence makes him rise an eyebrow in amusement, the glint in his eyes still present as he takes another look at you. His gaze pierces its way into your soul with such ease that it makes it hard to keep eye contact with the man trapping you between his arms.

"I think I should have been more direct from the very beginning..." He leans closer, warm breath hitting your face, making another course of goosebumps run down through your body in big waves.

There's a small and not so foreign feeling between your thighs, making the situation ten times worse.

You know what that feeling is, you just haven't felt anything like it before...

"I don't think I've ever met someone like you. Someone as hard working," His cheek nudges your own as he leans further and inhales your own scent, your bodies are pressed against each other with such an overwhelming amount of strength for someone as lean as Hawks.

"Someone as strong..."One of his hands caress your hip, making you gasp at the sensation of his hands brushing against your skin despite the layer of clothing covering your body.

"Someone as attractive." He's enamoured by the way your face turns away from him, eyes closed tightly from something as simple as his touch.

"If I'm being honest with you..." That same hand caressing your hip goes up, trapping your chin in between his fingers before turning it back to face him, his thumb skims over the outline of your lower lip with such a tender touch, it's enough to make you open your eyes to look at him.

That glint on his eyes is still in there, but this time, with everything happening right now, it all makes sense. This time you can tell just what that glint really means.

"I want you."

It meant lust.

His lips come crashing down on yours filled with never ending passion and lust. Hawks leans in closer, wrapping his arms around your hips as he ravishes your mouth. The warmth of his body makes you feel dizzy, like an intense fever that could make you hallucinate at any moment.

Never in your life has somebody kissed you like this before, with an intensity that makes all of your senses malfunction.

The kiss becomes more desperate as he pulls your body even closer. His touches makes your body give up as your legs begin trembling from dizziness, making him groan in satisfaction at the way you react to his strokes, and before your legs can actually give up on you and make you fall on the floor like an idiot, your own hands grip tightly on his arms for support.

When your limbs makes contact with his biceps, you realize just how fit Hawks actually is. The muscles under your palms feel hard and strong, you can almost feel every single movement as he flexes.

He pulls away soon after, smirking in satisfaction at the dizzy look on your face. You're panting heavily, eyes closing again and face flushing into a deeper shade of crimson than before, and that was only from his kisses.

The mere sight is enough for the growing tent in his pants to become harder, making your own eyes go wide at the realization of what the hard feeling against your leg actually is.

"H-Hawks...Wait...!" You can barely make a proper sentence, still high from everything going on. "I, We can't, you're..."

"I am...?" His teasing doesn't seem to stop. he too, is panting hard before kissing your cheek tenderly and slowly, slowly starts to kiss all the way down from the skin on your face all the way down to the jaw, eventually he reaches the junction between your neck and shoulder, where he starts nibbling softly.

Oh god, please don't leave a mark.

It takes all of your strength to push him away just a few inches. He's not even upset by the gesture, half lidded eyes staring at you intensely.

You finally catch your breath after a few minutes. Glaring at him with more embarrassment than anything else.

"You, are the teacher's assistant. Is it really okay for you to be doing this with a student?!"

All he does is give you a nonchalant look, followed by a smirk that leaves you frozen in place.

Is this guy really the same one that helped you out the other day? The same one that's always helping out everyone around campus with a smile on his face?

He touches your face affectionately once again, before answering your question.

"Yes, you're right, I am a teacher's assistant. But there's something you should know about it..." His eyes don't move from your swollen and bruised lips, with traces of sweet lip gloss slightly smeared on the side.

"Considering I don't have any power over the student's grades, there's really no problem for me to date one y'know?" Hawk's once again making direct eye contact with you, this time the lust in his eyes is more intense than before.

"Besides, be honest with me. You hate Miss Ito, and to be honest so do I."

You can't help blinking twice at his remark, nothing but silence fills the room.

"She may be a bright teacher, but the way she treats her students is unacceptable. That, and there's the fact she won't stop bothering me during free periods." He steps back slightly, pulling you by the wrists in the direction of the teacher's desk, right on the spot where he was sitting before.

"Wouldn't you like to get a bit of revenge on her? Just imagine, being fucked in the very same spot where she grades your exams..."

His words leave you thinking deeply, and you're so deep in thought about it you don't even realize what's going on for a second until you feel his strong arms lifting your body with ease.

You never thought you'd be doing something like this, but here you are, sitting over the desk where your teachers give their lessons, all while one of the hottest men in campus is about to do such depraved things to your body.

"So...What's it gonna be?" His hands are caressing your knees, rubbing circles on the tender skin as he anticipates an answer. If looks could kill his would have burned you a long time ago from the fiery passion behind it.

Your own hands grab on the sides of his face, pulling him closer into a sloppy but swift kiss before you look him in the eye once again.

"Just be gentle, alright...?" The look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know. Hawk's eyes once again have a mischievous glint deep inside.

"I promise you, by the time we're done here," He kisses your jaw softly. "You'll never want someone to be 'gentle' with you again."

He leans forward for another kiss, and this time, you eagerly kiss him back, the hands resting on your knees pry them apart slowly, giving him enough space to stand in between them.

The heat of his body, along with that intoxicating cologne of his makes the experience even more satisfying, small moans escape your mouth as his hands go under your shirt to caress the skin underneath, his touch feels so...delightful on your skin, almost good enough to make you forget about all of your troubles and dive into an euphoria induced dream.

His hands stop at the clasp of your bra, meticulously unclasping the lingerie, you can feel the fabric becoming loose at the front, but he makes no movement to fully take off your top.

Instead his hands just leave their place at your back to pull both the top and the piece of lingerie until it's all ruffled over your neck, he pulls away from the kiss to look down, and it leaves you flustered when he won't stop staring at your bust with intensity.

"...What?" You ask with embarassment, and he can't help laughing at your reaction.

"Am I not allowed to enjoy the view?"

"Stop it Hawks!" He gives you a look full of authority, it makes your body tremble in arousal, the dampness between your legs is proof enough of the effect this guy has on your body.

"Stop calling me that, and start calling me Keigo."

"But I-"

"Would you prefer to call me 'Daddy' instead?"

You give him an incredulous look, face once again flushed by his words.

"Keigo you son of aaaahhhh-" The words die in your throat, replaced by a sharp intake of breath instantly after he engulfs one nipple with his mouth, causing another wave of shivers to shake your whole body to the core.

You try to fight them back, but the whimpers come out victorious and escape through your lips in a rush. It makes Hawks...No, Keigo, smirk victorious, but it's hard to take him serious when he has one of your boobs in his mouth.

He releases the wet bud with a small "pop!", and caress the tip with his index finger, the friction makes another whimper come out, once again making his smirk confidently.

"Look at you. We're just getting to the good part, and you're already a moaning, trembling mess." He looks down in between you legs with a hungry, predatory stare that could make anyone shrink before him.

"It's a good thing you choose to wear a skirt today."

A hand dips down under said piece of clothing, rubbing a damp spot underneath with their middle finger, right where your still clothed and damp slit throbs, craving more of the deliciously immoral graze.

Fuck...

You can't hold back anymore, and you don't want to either.

You're about to have sex in a classroom.

YOUR CLASSROOM.

"What is it princess?" Keigo growls in satisfaction, enjoying how you're finally starting to let those sweet moans out without a care in the world. "Something you'd like to say? Can't say I'm not enjoying seeing you fight back all those sweet moans."

Someone could walk in any minute now, Miss Ito could be walking in any moment as well, but nothing matters anymore.

All you want is for him to take your body however he pleases.

You pull on the collar of his shirt, pulling him into another sloppy and fervent kiss. He really like this new side of you. Always be wary of the quiet ones they say.

His hands sneaks inside the panties, two fingers going deep inside your velvet walls with a slow pace. The friction is so addicting, and you can't help it when your hips move against your will, craving for more.

"Keigo..." You're panting, eyes clouded with desire. "Please take me, I can't wait any longer!"

That's all he needed to hear. But just to make sure you'll enjoy every single moment...

"As much as I'd love to be inside you already." His fingers start picking up speed, you yelp in surprise at the sudden increase of his movements. "I want you enjoy every single part of this. After all, it's your first time, isn't it?"

Between the nerves of being caught and his ministrations you can barely think straight, but your brain still manages to process his words, and it leaves you surprised.

"How?" This time he gives you a tender smile before kissing your temples.

"The way you kept trembling when I got closer? How you kept hesitating? It was pretty obvious, princess." Your walls clench around his fingers, he could tell you're pretty close, so he pulls back his fingers, leaving you hot, bothered and whining at the sudden lack of friction. "But don't you worry a pretty little hair, I'll take good care of you."

His arms hook themselves under your thighs, pulling them forward until his clothed and still throbbing girth brushes against your soaked pussy. The friction feels so fucking good. You can barely wait to feel the rest of it.

"Oh! right!" His hand goes inside his back pocket, and pulls out a small, blue package.

"...Do you always carry one of those around with you?" You squint at him in suspiciousness, and he gives you a sheepish grin in response.

"Nah, the nurse gave me a handful of them as a joke." Keigo quickly unbuckles his jeans, and lowers them along with his boxers just enough for his hard cock to spring out, it's average in length, but it makes up for it with thickness. Its head is also a prominent, reddish shade, throbbing and dribbling with precum.

You couldn't take you eyes off from it, and Keigo couldn't say he didn't like the attention.

He decides to put on a show, putting on the condom at such a slow pace to tease you for a bit. Seeing you squirm due the lack of body contact almost makes him come right on the spot.

Good thing the little piece of latex already comes with lube, not that he'd need much judging by the mess you're making below.

"Are you ready?" He asks, pulling aside your panties and resting his member over your sweet core. As desperately as he wants to pound you into the wooden surface, he'd rather double check, make sure you're completely comfortable with everything about to happen.

And make the experience so good, that you'll eventually come back to him crawling, begging for more of his sinful courtesy. So he can gladly give everything you ask for.

You pull him closer again, wrapping your arms around him with shaky hands. It's not that you're scared, but the nerves are hard to get rid of when it comes to having your first time with someone you've been crushing on for months.

"Please, I want you." You throw those words back at him.

He nods in response, kissing your face with a softness that could make anyone melt, and slowly, so very slowly starts pushing himself inside you. Keigo can hear you whimpering, not used to such a foreign feeling just yet.

It's not painful, but it makes you feel so unusually full once he's completely buried inside you. He also starts growling, savoring the feeling of your walls stretching, creating the perfect spot that fits his throbbing cock in such a delicious ways, it's almost impossible to describe how good you feel.

But one thing's certain, he can't get enough of it.

"God, you're so fucking tight." His voice is so low and hoarse, it nearly makes him sound feral, like a predator about to devour his prey.

And you, were the prey.

"Ahhh...So good, it feels so good being inside my princess."

Your arms grab onto the back of his shirt, bodies plastered against each other so nicely, fitting together just like a puzzle.

Like you were meant for each other from the very beginning.

Keigo pecks you on the lips tenderly. Hips pulling back carefully until nothing but the head is left inside, and then he gives a deep thrust that nearly knocks your whole breath away. Neither of you are capable of holding back the noises, and you don't want to either.

For the first time since you started college, you're glad to be in one of the classrooms in the fourth floor, as far away from prying ears as possible.

"Keigo, oh my god." Your body finally begins to relax, and Keigo can feel it too. He's grateful your insides are finally getting used to having him inside you, otherwise he probably would have come already from the tight clutch of your sweet and slippery cunt.

The moment he feels you completely relaxed it's where the real action begins. He pulls your arms away from him and lays you down over the whole surface.

The palm of his hand plants itself besides your head, acting as a support, otherwise he probably would have fallen over you, too lost over the pleasure your body provides him. The other hand is busy holding on to your hips for dear life, digging his nails on the skin and leaving a painful yet addicting feeling behind, as well as a couple of marks on the bruised skin.

"Remember when I said you'd never want something 'gentle' after this?" He smirks, looking down at you with such dominance, you can't even process any type of thought that's not related to him anymore. "Well, I always keep my promises. Princess."

In the blink of an eye he starts thrusting so hard and fast that you can't help it when the moans start getting louder. Keigo moves with a pace so strong, so fast, and so passionate that rattles the whole desk. It makes your thoughts wander in place, imagining the loud slam that could probably be heard across a room should he be fucking you in bed.

"Hey..." A snap of his fingers brings you back to the present, and to a frowning blond. "Eyes on me princess, or is this too boring for you?"

He stops moving altogether, even despite your desperate whines at the sudden halt of his thrust, but Keigo's a persistent man, and a teasing little shit who adores making you squirm underneath him.

"Keigoooo!" You hips move on their own, trying to get some more of that delicious feeling of his cock against your velvet walls. It doesn't last for long though, as both of his hands have a unshakable hold on your sides, completely preventing you from grinding against him any longer.

"If you really want more..." His hands travels all the way down to your aching sex, rubbing a single digit against your clit and drawing out a high pitched moan. "Then beg for it...Tell me, just how much you really want it."

"I..." You can't even form a proper sentence, an endless stuttering from his finger rubbing harder against the small bud, preventing you from doing so.

You can't talk, you can barely think, but you need him.

"I want you...to fuck me harder. P-Please Keigo, I really, really need your c-cock!" That's all you can say, and that's all he needs to hear. Keigo begins moving again, this time at such a brutal pace that makes everything go white. The sound of his balls slapping against your ass echoes loudly all around the classroom, and the smell of sex engulfs the whole room.

"That's much better!" He growls, satisfied with the way your head falls back when he hits a certain spot. Keigo gives another harsh thrust, making you scream from how good it feels to have him ravish your body like this.

You're so caught up in the moment, drowning in ectasy from every push. Then you feel it, the way your insides twist from the upcoming orgasm as he begins rutting mercilessly, kissing your womb over and over again.

"Keigo!" There's something about the way you scream his name, that makes his length twitch as it slips back and forth inside your cunt. And his pace begins to waver once he feels his own climax approaching. "I'm coming...!"

"You're coming princess? You want to cum all over my cock?" He gives another sharp thrust, drawing out another moan from you. By this point he could guess your throat is more likely sore from how loud you're getting. And he adores it.

"Do it then," He gasps, head burying itself on your shoulder and biting down on the soft flesh, that is definitely going to leave a mark. "Come for me, make a mess all over this desk, so every time you're in class you'll never forget what happened here behind everyone's back!"

He knows the effect his words have on you, that grin on his face says it all as he watches your body convulsing, trembling as your very first orgasm shakes your senses. He follows after you almost immediately, utterly overwhelmed after the had clenching of your walls around him.

You're both feeling exhausted, attempting to calm your heavy breathing. During that brief period of time, you keep wondering if what happened would be just a one time thing. And once the both of you walked out of the room, Keigo would tell you to pretend nothing happened.

In a way, it makes a small aching dig it's way inside your heart.

"Hey princess, what's with the long face?" Keigo's face leaves its place on your shoulder, worried you might be regretting everything that happened just a minute ago. "I told you there would be no problem in getting involved with me."

"I know," Slowly your hands release their hold on his shirt, leaving behind a couple of wrinkled spots. "But this changes everything. Was this just a one time thing?"

"Oh, that's what you're worried about?" His questions comes out so casually it almost gives you whiplash from how fast you turn to look at him, brows raised high in confusion.

Once again he grabs your chin between his fingers. This time with a softer look in his eyes than when he first proposed this debauchery.

"I meant what I said before, I've never met someone like you before." He gives a soft peck to your jaw, lips lingering in place momentarily. His eyes are closed, deep in thought as he thinks carefully about his next words.

"The question is. Do you, want this to be a one time thing?" He's making eye contact with you again. "Or do you want this to go further?"

"I, want to get to know you better, Keigo." The answer is barely audible, but he manages to hear it, judging by the soft look he gives you.

"That's all I need to hear. Now, what do you say we get out of here? The janitor should be arriving any moment now, and honestly." He pulls out his already soft member, making you whimper slightly at the sudden emptiness. "I'd rather be the only one seeing you like this."

Quickly you both try fixing yourselves as much as you can. Thankfully you always carry a small package of napkins, and quickly clean up the dripping mess between your legs before fixing up your clothes.

As well as the dirty predicament on the desk, the janitor's not to blame for the consequences of Ito's attitude after all.

You both walk out of the classroom carefully. Thankfully Keigo didn't have anything pending, so nobody came looking for him during your little "chat". But if any of your friends happened to see this, you'd never hear the end of it from them.

..........

Just like Keigo predicts, the next time you walk inside the classroom everything that happened last Friday comes back. And when Miss Ito's lesson finally starts, you have to fight back the urge to give her that same mocking smile she gave you last time.

If that's not satisfying enough, then the moment the whole school witnesses her outrage after she makes another move on Hawks, just for the teacher's assistant to mention he's already seeing someone definitely is a sight nobody will ever forget. Particularly after she's finally called into the principal's office for her lack of professionalism.

The whole school ends up celebrating the event. And you definitely will celebrate once again after class, judging by the subtle looks Keigo sends your way after the ordeal.

Taglist: @bnhabookclub @gallickingun @hawks-senseis @honeytama @savagetrickster @unbreakableeiji @wakaoujisenhime

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Contraband

(Story Post)

“Dax, sorry to keep you waiting,” Syd said as they came into the exam room. “No, it's fine,” Dax said. “I'm just happy to get some possible answers today.” Syd sat down at their desk and crossed their legs. “First of all, have you recently been in contact with either Jeffrey Matthews or Oliver Larson?” “Yes, Jeffrey has been over to my partner's house a lot, and I met his cousin over a week ago. Why?” “I had Oliver in today and he informed me that he shared a substance from this container with you, is that correct?” Syd took out the container of protein powder and placed it on the edge of his desk.

Dax blinked and turned it around. “Yes, he let me try some. I was looking for a new protein powder. Why? Is there something wrong with it?” “Yes, unfortunately Mr. Larson was mistaken of its contents,” Sydryn explained. “The container has been misused to carry alien made contraband that is almost certainly the cause of your incident a week ago.” Dax stared at the container. “…That caused me to do all that?” Sydryn nodded slowly. “It belonged to and was created by one Bler 9 Tid, a Prilarian formerly acquainted with Jeffrey Matthews. It has the ability of altering one's internal anatomy to create a womb capable of bearing viable live offspring in persons without one. It also increases the consumers libido and hormone production, causing the consumer to go into a chemically induced oestrus. Tid gave the contraband to Matthews to be able to impregnate him.” Dax was still for a few moment, unsure what to say. Piecing the events together in his mind, it all started to make sense. “…So, you're saying that the ‘protein powder' I added to my smoothie that morning actually made me grow a uterus and put me in a manufactured heat?” “Correct.” “So…” Dax was still searching for what he wanted to say. “…I was in heat, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend and when that didn't work…I just went to the next closest guy I knew… And now what, are you saying I could be pregnant?” Sydryn exhaled. “Yes, that is why we need to draw blood again.” “What happened to the blood you drew last week?” Dax asked. “We only tested it to check your hormone levels,” Sydryn said. “Also, a pregnancy cannot be confirmed until the second week.” “But it's only been one week,” Dax pointed out. “Yes, I failed to add earlier that this contraband you consumed also doubles the speed of a human pregnancy,” Sydryn said. “One week for you is two weeks for a pregnancy, if an egg was successfully fertilised.” Dax put his head in his hands trying to process all this information. “…After all that…I could be pregnant…with Kent's child?” Sydryn uncrossed their legs and leaned forward to place a hand on Dax's shoulder. “I understand that this is a lot to take in. We cannot confirm a pregnancy yet until the results of a blood test, but we can confirm the formation of a uterus now with an ultrasound.” Dax took a deep breath. “...Okay. Do whatever you have to do, I guess... I need to know.” “When was the last time you ate or drank, by the way?” Sydryn asked. “I had water on the way down, but I haven't eaten anything since last night, at like 8pm,” Dax answered. “How much did you drink and have you urinated since drinking today?” “Uh, maybe half a litre? And no. Is that bad?” “No, a full bladder is ideal to lift the organ we are looking for. A full litre is ideal, but we should be fine. I will have to press which may cause some discomfort.” “Okay.” “Alright. Please lean back and lift you shirt. Unbutton your pants as well,” Sydryn directed as they got up to start the ultrasound machine. Dax did as instructed and they proceeded with the ultrasound. Syd was able to confirm the uterus as well as a thickening of the uterine lining. Afterwards, they drew a sample of Dax's blood. “It will take some time, but this has been prioritised so you should hear from me tonight or tomorrow,” Sydryn explained, as they put away the test tubes. “Do you have any questions for me?” “If I am pregnant, what do I do?” Dax said. “Can I even really have a baby? Like, carry to term?” “The research is new, however yourself and Jeffrey's family are not the first to have been exposed to this particular Prilarian contraband,” Sydryn stated. “So far, all who've taken it and carried out a pregnancy have carried healthily to term.” Dax blanched. “And if I don't want a baby?” “You have all the same options as any other pregnant person,” Sydryn said. “Since we have not confirmed a pregnancy as of yet, you should abstain from receiving unprotected anal penetration during intercourse. If you have done so within the last 72 hours, you can take a morning after pill.” “I haven't,” Dax said. “But will I have a uterus forever now?” “No, if you are not pregnant, it should pass within a month. The same would occur after a pregnancy,” Sydryn said. “We can go over the details of that later, once we have your results.” Dax nodded slowly. “Okay...” “Did you have a talk with the therapist like we discussed last time?” Syd asked. “No, not yet...” Sydryn woke up their computer. “Let's make you an appointment to come talk with me, how about that?” “Uh, sure,” Dax agreed, nodding. “Monday at 1pm?” Dax took out his phone out and opened his calendar. “Sounds good.” “I will be calling you as well as soon as I have a result for you,” Syd reminded, getting up. “How are you feeling? Do you think you'll be alright for now?” “Yeah, I'll be fine,” Dax assured getting up as well. “This is just...a lot to take in.” “I understand.” “Well, I wouldn't be surprised about Jeffrey, but his cousin,” Dax inquired as he started walking out. “Is he alright? I imagine he's been taking that stuff for a while without knowing...” “I can't share such information on my other patients,” Sydryn stated as they escorted him. “Ah, yeah... Maybe I'll try to contact them,” Dax said. “Nathan should have Jeffrey's number...” “I wouldn't stress yourself with their well-being for now,” Sydryn said. “You should take some time to yourself. Relax.” “I just, I don’t know if it's the teacher in me, but I worry about those kids,” Dax said. “I don’t know if you know, but I taught Jeffrey in high school. A good teacher cares about all their students.” Sydryn placed a hand on Dax's shoulder. “That is admirable, but he is not your student anymore. Neither of them are your responsibility.” “I know...” When they got to the lobby, Reid was sitting waiting for Dax. He got up as soon as he saw them. “So? How did it go? Is he dying, doc?” Sydryn furrowed their brow. “You're here for Dax?” “No, I thought I'd come in for a shift,” Reid said sarcastically. “Aye, I made sure to get him here in good time. We're friends now, you know.” Sydryn sighed. “We’ll have a talk about that later, but anyway, are you driving him home?” “Well actually, he drove us here,” Reid said. “Why? Should he not drive? I can drive if I have to. You didn't answer if he's dying or not.” “He's not dying,” Sydryn stated. “He can drive, but you, however, are not clear to drive yet.” “I'd like to talk about that, actually.” “Bring it up in our meeting on Monday,” Sydryn said turning to go back to the exam rooms. Reid patted Dax's back. “You alright? What'd Syd tell you?” Dax sighed. “I'll tell you on the drive back, alright?” “Sure, sure. Let's go then.”

[haikyuuwaifu]

Pt.2

Genre: Humor, Fluff, Mild Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of alcohol

PT.1: Photograph

a/n: This is a little part 2 to the original post I made way back when

NOTHING-BRUNO MAJOR

NOTHING

Track suits and red wine Movies for two

Y/n let out a sigh, as she snuggled into the cushions of her boyfriends comfortable couch. “Long day baby?” He questioned, standing next to the couch, a glass of wine in his hand. She could only nod, as she grabbed the drink and began sipping greedily. “Working with Kuroo sure is a pain, especially when he and Kenma are fighting.” She whined, scooting over to make room for her lover. Atsumu let out a laugh, as he settled himself down, and pulled her feet into his lap. “Over working himself again?” He questioned, eyeing her from the corner of his peripheral. “Of course, but it’s just because the Olympics are coming up.” She supplied, eyes scanning the room. “Yer ma mailed you some stuff” Atsumu supplied, nodding toward a box he’d stuffed under the living room table. “Just some phot albums and things.” Y/N eyed it dubiously, setting her drink down and making a grab for it. Pulling the box to her lap, Atsumu watched, as a small smile spread over her face at its contents. “God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen these.” She hummed, digging into the very bottome to pull out a frame. Atsumu peeked over, his cheeks widening in a grin, as he took in the picture of Y/N and her Seijoh friends. “When I see Iwa tomorrow, I’m going to give him so much shit for that hair.” He grunted, reaching in his pocket to grab his phone. “Tsumie!” Y/N scolded, smacking his arm lightly. The blonde only laughed, taking her hands and dropping a kiss to her knuckles fondly. “I’m only teasin baby, I don’t need him running me ragged before the first match.” He winked, settling in to listen, as Y/N pulled out her albums and gave him a glimpse into her life before him.

We'll play Nintendo Though I always lose 'Cause you'll watch the TV While I'm watching you

“Tsumu really is the worst at Mario Kart.” Bokuto teased, cackling as he kept his eyes focused on the screen. Behind them, Akaashi and Kuroo were putting together snacks, under the watchful eye of Iwaizumi. “Zumi, take a break from being a snack fiend, and come get your ass whooped.” Y/N called behind her, humming as she threw a blue shell at Osamu’s character. “Just cause dumbass let’s ya win, doesn’t mean I’m gonna.” Osamu chided, giving Y/N a playful shove. “He doesn’t let me win.” Y/N pouted, looking over to see her lover, his eyes solely focused on her. “You don’t right tsumie?” She asked, lips pouty as she fluttered her lashes. Atsumu could feel his cheeks reddening, as his heart fluttered like crazy. “Course not baby, yer just that good.” “And yer full of shit.” Osamu huffed, wincing as his boyfriend came behind him to smack the side of his head. “Ya know, I get havin my brother wrapped around your finger,” He griped, rubbing the sore spot, as he cuddled into Iwaizumi’s legs, “But did ya have to go and steal my man too?” Y/N only rolled her eyes, eyes focused on the screen, as she tried in vain to get past Ushijima. “I’ve known Iwa longer, of course he’s going to love me more.” She teased, sticking her tongue out at the silver haired twin. Behind the two of them, Atsumu and Iwaizumi exchanged a look, and sighed. If anyone asked Atsumu, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here, relaxing with his lady, and taking a much needed break with his team, ready for what the Olympics would bring.

Dumb conversations We lose track of time Have I told you lately I'm grateful you're mine

“You’re telling me, Iwaizumi’s eyebrows are always furrowed like that?! Even when he’s sleeping?!” Atsumu questioned, shock evident on his features as his brother nodded vigorously. Y/N nodded sagely, as she handed her boyfriend his water bottle. “I’m pretty sure he was born grumpy.” she provided, the trio’s eyes looking over to see the topic of their discussion scowling at one of the other trainers. “Word on the street is, he made a face and it got stuck that way forever.” A voice behind them called, causing the trio to turn around quickly. Y/N let out shriek, as she ran over to Issei and Makki, pulling them both in for the tightest hug she could give them. “What are you doing here?!” she asked, hugging them close, as they walked her back to her boyfriend. “We’re here to watch the Olympics with you silly.” Makki supplied, shaking Atsumu and Osamu’s hands, giving Iwaizumi the finger and smiling. “Your man pulled some strings, since this is  a big deal for you and for Iwaizumi.” Y/N looked over, her eyes watering as Atsumu smiled. “Ya been doin so much for me, for this event,” He mumbled, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “I just, I wanted to show ya my love, my doin this for ya.” Atsumu found himself on the ground, after Y/N launched herself at him, covering every inch she could reach in kisses. “You’re the best boyfriend ever.” She hummed, slotting her lips against his own. “You’re going to win the gold baby, I just know it.” All Atsumu could do was smile, the rest of the gym fading away. “And you’ll be there with me, every step of the way.” He mumbled, kissing her deeply. 

We'll watch The Notebook For the 17th time I'll say "It's stupid" Then you'll catch me crying

“We really need to stop letting Y/N choose the movie.” Makki whined, curling into Ushijima’s arm. The tall man scoffed, reaching up to hand him a tissue, “You’re the one who’s crying.” Makki only scoffed, taking the wipe and dabbing at his eyes. “It’s a good movie, and I warned you I would get emotional.” Issei let out a snort, as he reached down to throw a piece of popcorn at his friend. “It’s a load off, taking responsibility for that idiot.” He provided, eyes flitting over to the other side of the room. “Now if only, someone would give me a chance.” He mumbled eyes closing forlornly, as he made a face at Sakusa. “Maybe if you’d stop being a fake ass bitch.” Y/N grunted, taking her seat next to her crying boyfriend. “You and Samu should really stop calling the other a wuss, you’re both crying over this movie.” Atsumu merely flipped her off, taking a tissue and wiping his nose. “He wrote to her every day damn it!” He whined, cuddling into Y/N’s side. Next to them, Iwaizumi was in a similar position, his boyfriend snuggling close, as he sniffled softly. “He even built her a damn house.” Behind them Kuroo sobbed, asking Kenma why he didn’t have a house built for him. “Because you’re an idiot.” The blonde chided, passing the tissue over to Akaashi. If anyone asked Y/N, she couldn’t picture herself anywhere else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The Olympics*

We're not looking for no one Don't need nothing more

Tooru stood at the edge of the court, his hands on his hips and his head held high, taking it all in. He’d finally achieved his dreams, and he could feel nothing but pride. Scanning the stadium, his eyes widened, as he saw a familiar head of spikey hair. “Iwa-chan!” He crowed, making his way over to his old friend. What he was expecting, was some form of greeting, what he was met with has a hand in the air, and stony silence as Iwaizumi finished his conversation with the reporter in front of him. “I’m busy Oikawa, what do you want?” He grunted, turning to grab his clipboard, and double check his stats. “I just thought I’d say hi! It’s been so long, and we’ve finally made i-” “You made it.” A voice called behind him, causing the brunette to turn. “You’re here!” Tooru cheered, moving to wrap Issei and Makki in a hug. Both men held their arms out, halting Tooru’s movements entirely. “You made it here all by yourself.” Issei provided, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t you come to see me play?” Oikawa mumbled, eyes scanning the stadium, searching for something out of the ordinary. Makki shook his head, a laugh bubbling out. “Even years later, you’re still just as selfish as ever.” Before Tooru could question it, Iwaizumi waved his hand, shooing him away. “We’re busy getting ready for our match, follow the protocol and go wait for your team.” All the man could do was nod, unhappy with the way things were turning out.

Near the locker rooms, Atsumu had his arms around Y/n, his face pressed into her neck, as she tried to steady his breathing. Behind them Osamu stood, stroking his twins back comfortingly. “I’m so fucking nervous.” Atsumu whispered, eye lids glittering with unshed tears. Y/N smiled softly, stroking his cheek. “What’s to be nervous about huh?” “You’ve been waiting your whole life for this moment.” At her declaration, Atsumu shook his head, taking her left hand in his own and kissing the ring he’d given her the night before. “I’ve waited my whole life for you.” He stated, eyes peering down at her own. “This is nothin compared to knowing I get to spend the rest of my life lovin ya.” He whispered, smiling softly, at the look of adoration reflected in Y/n’s eyes. “If lovin me, is all you’ve been waiting for, then the Olympics should be a walk in the park.” Y/N teased, ruffling Atsumu’s hair. “You can do this baby, and win or lose, I’m still going to be your wife someday.” “I’m gonna win ya gold baby, my wedding gift to you.” He promised, dropping a kiss to her lips, and finally letting her go. “I’ll see you out there tsumie.” She smiled, gripping the jersey he’d given her tightly. “I’m so proud of you.” Atsumu smiled fondly, watching her go. After she was gone, he turned toward the locker room, surprised to see team Argentina  staring at him. “Ya lost?” Atsumu mumbled, looking for their translator. The captain nodded, and Atsumu hummed, pointing in the direction of the court. “See ya out there.” He called, waving a hand behind him, unaware of the brown eyes that never left his form.

You could be dancing on tabletops Wearing high-heels Drinking until the world Spins like a wheel

Atsumu watched Y/N, smile wide as she dragged Sakusa onto the table. The man was drunk enough, considering the fact that everyone was celebrating their Olympic gold. Across the room, Tooru watched, eyes calculating and full of questions. A voice behind him, caused him to jump slightly in shock. “Whatever you’re thinking of doin, I wouldn’t.” It was Atsumu’s twin, Tooru had met him briefly after the closing ceremonies, introduced to him by Iwa-chan’s mom. “I don’t know what you mean.” Oikawa sniffed, throwing back his drink and waving the bartender down for another. “I think ya thought she’d waitin for ya, ready to take ya back.” Osamu provided, sipping his beer casually. “Too bad for ya, she ain’t that fuckin stupid.” Oikawa only scoffed, opening his mouth to retort, when Atsumu called the room to attention. “I’d just like to congratulate team Japan, and my friends and ma family,” He mumbled, raising his glass. “Most of all I’d like to thank my lady.” He smiled, eyes shining fondly over toward Y/N. “Without ya, I wouldn’t have made it here.” Y/N smiled, raising her own glass, as Sakusa cuddled into Issei’s arm. “I couldn’t be more proud of you tsumie.” She smiled, “I never thought I’d have anything to do with another pretty setter,” She giggled, taking a sip of her drink, “but you’ve shown me time and time again, that you’ll always be the best. I can’t wait to marry you” She declared, as everyone around the room cheered. Osamu only smirked, eyeing Oikawa, before joining his friends in congratulating the happy couple.

But there's nothing Like doing nothing With you

“Didn’t think you had that level of petty in you babe.” Atsumu teased, watching Y/N as she wiped her face clean. The woman in question scoffed, combing her fingers through her hair, as she set her towel down. “I didn’t think he’d actually attempt to make a pass at me.” Y/N supplied, crawling into bed and curling around her fiancé. “Good thing his mother is such a damn chatter box.” She huffed, causing her fiancé to snort, as he flicked the tv on. Y/N reached up, touching her lips to his own, smiling softly as he sighed. “This is what I want for the rest of my life.” She whispered, kissing him again and cuddling close. “There’s nothing like doing nothing, with you.” 

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Silent Treatment (Ethan x MC)

Summary: Naomi decides that if Ethan isn’t going to treat her like a valued member of the team, she’ll teach him a little lesson.

Based on chapter 1, some spoilers for chapter 2, and my own speculation, so read at your own risk.

I highkey hate this but I’m posting it anyway

~v~

Naomi is quiet. No, she is unusually quiet. Ethan has seen her get silent when it’s time to buckle down and focus on a task, or if something is weighing heavily on her, but at this point he knows her well enough to know it’s neither of those. She’s withdrawn, and he doesn’t understand why.

Her presence is hard to miss, the young resident has enough charm and charisma in her pinky finger to dazzle an entire room. And she’s never this quiet. Naomi demands to be heard at all times. With unapologetic vivacity. With her hands. Eyes sparkling when she gets an idea, or fiery when she needs to dig her toes into something and fight. Nothing about Naomi Valentine is ever subdued, so why the hell is she so silent?

She didn’t speak much during the last few team meetings. He and Harper have led all of the conversations, bouncing ideas back and forth, building off of each other’s ideas. Occasionally, Naomi would offer input, merely to agree or disagree with a theory, before going back into her shell.

It’s even bleeding into their personal life. For the better part of the past 3 months, she’s stayed with him, the two of them holed up in his apartment in the Back Bay, but now she’s opting to stay at her own place. It’s been going on a few days now, this random despondence, and Ethan isn’t a fan of it. He’d take it a step further and say it's driving him crazy. This isn’t the woman he’s known for the past two years, even at her lowest was she never this reclusive.

As he walks down the halls of Edenbrook, he spots Naomi, her personality back to what it once was. She’s with Ines at a vending machine, and Naomi wastes no time animatedly talking to the now attending about a fun date she went on with her girlfriend.

Heart hammering wildly in his chest, Ethan swallows thickly as he listens to her talk. He’s missed the sound of her voice, the affectionate way her strong accent curls around her ‘r’s’ and dramatically elongates her ‘o’s’. It becomes clear that she’s willing to talk, just not to him. Ethan doesn’t like that idea at all, but it’s the only one that makes sense. And if that’s the case, he needs to get to the bottom of things and remedy the situation.

“Naomi, can we talk please?” He asks once Ines is no longer in their presence.

He doesn’t miss the way she bristles upon hearing his voice. But Naomi nods anyway. “Sure, what’s wrong?”

“Can we talk in the office?”

The walk back to the seventh floor is marked with awkward silence as Naomi refuses to initiate conversation with him. The more time ticks on, the more anxiety settles in Ethan’s chest. What’s going on with her that she refuses to divulge?

The office is unoccupied when they arrive, as Harper has already gone home for the evening. Naomi stands by the door, opting not to settle into a seat or even move further into the room. Everything about her body language reads that she’s poised and ready to strike at any given moment. He frowns. She’s never been this defensive against him, at least when they’re not in the middle of an argument. “What’s going on?”

“Are you okay?”

The question catches Naomi off guard. She blinks slowly before shrugging in nonchalance. “I’m fine, Ethan.”

“You’re fine? Really?”

“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t be fine?”

“Not really, but you haven’t been acting like yourself recently.”

Because you’ve been quieter than a church mouse for the past few days. You don’t talk during meetings, you’re silent when we interact with the patients, it’s like you’ve completely tuned out.”

With the way he’s been acting, Naomi is almost shocked that he even realized what she’s been doing. Wow, so maybe the great Ethan Ramsey hasn’t lost his attention to detail.

“Oh, so you’ve actually noticed?”

“I’m a diagnostician, I notice everything,” Ethan deadpans. He can feel the sarcasm wafting off of her. “What, was this an intentional act for my attention?”

“Intentional, yes. But for your attention? Not necessarily,” Naomi answers.

His eyes narrow at her, his gaze near piercing. She’s playing some sort of childish game with him, first with not speaking and now with the vague half answers. “Okay, so walk me through your thought process. Why has the cat stolen your tongue?”

“I decided that if my input wasn’t going to be valued during team discussions, I might as well not speak at all.”

Ethan gapes at her, confused. Where did that come from? “Naomi, what on earth are you talking about? When have I ever not valued your input?”

“I’m talking about the fact that for the past two cases, I’ve stood on the sidelines while you’ve either cut me off mid-sentence to talk over me, or ignore my presence altogether. I might as well blend into the wall.”

“That’s not–”

Naomi doesn’t give him the chance to refute.  “Please spare me the attempt at arguing. Last week, Harper’s first day on the team, you literally had to circle back to me because you cut me off while I was speaking. And now, we’re working on a case, and you and Harper aren’t even taking this patient seriously! I’ve had to redirect the conversation and tell you guys to focus, because you two were too busy acting like bosom buddies, sharing anecdotes about hangovers, and stupid flamenco lessons, and dates you went on in the past, which is not only inappropriate and disrespectful to the patient’s time, it’s disrespectful to me.”

“So either you are completely oblivious, which I find hard to believe for someone as astute as you are, or you have no respect for me, not just as your colleague, but as the woman you claim to be in a relationship with,” Naomi continues. The floodgates have been opened and now that she’s started, she can’t stop herself. “And maybe it’s the latter, because I set that standard. I’ve let you go days, weeks, months without speaking to me with zero consequence, I’ve let you shut me out and slam doors in my face, make snide comments last year when we were treating Leland, I’ve let you have carte blanche over the pace of this relationship. I’ve always just been here and allowed your shitty social graces and piss poor communication skills to rule, and time and time again, you’ve gone unscathed, but now I’m just really tired of it.”

For the first time in a long, Ethan doesn’t have a clue what to say, and as always, Naomi is the woman who puts him in this position.

“Naomi, you can’t possibly think that I think so little of you.”

He can tell by the way her eyes darken that he put his entire foot in his mouth just now. The warning bells go off in his brain, and he scrambles to think of how he can correct this latest blunder.

Naomi bites down on her lip, and she’s actually shocked her mouth isn’t instantly flooded with the metallic taste of blood. She’s getting Punk’d obviously. The office is bugged, and Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and announce his presence soon. That has to be it. Ethan has to be pranking her, because there’s no way a 38 year old man could ever be so dense, right? Surely his response to her grievances isn’t to dismiss her claims.

“You know what? You’re being obtuse, and we clearly aren’t getting anywhere, so I’m going to cut this conversation off now.”

She refuses to look like the psycho in this scenario and breathe any more life into this argument, and she’s not about to plead her case any further like she’s the one in the wrong.

Ethan’s eyes soften, and he takes a step forward, arms outstretched to touch, soothe whatever hurts he’s heaped upon her, but Naomi sidesteps, moving out of his reach.

If he wasn’t nervous at the start of this conversation, he is now. If the physical act of Naomi blatantly refusing to touch him wasn’t clear enough, the metaphorical chasm between the two of the just widened by a few yards as well. A chill races up and down the length of his spine.

“Naomi, I’m sorry,” Ethan says gently. “I…” His words taper off and he pauses, struggling for what he wants to say next. This has never been his strong point, being vulnerable.

And Naomi doesn’t offer him a lifeline. She’s not going to give him an out or assuage him of anything he’s currently feeling like she usually does. She’s laid out all of her cards, and things are in Ethan’s court at this point. Like always. 

“I’m going home,” she announces. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~v~

The sun is barely out when Naomi shows up for work in the morning. Most of the hospital is still, the last of the night shift heading out as she’s on her way in. She heads towards the residents’ lounge, wanting to put her things away before checking in on her patients and having a team meeting.

As soon as she opens her locker, she spots a gorgeous bouquet of red roses wrapped in newspaper invading the space. There’s no note attached to the bouquet, and she spared a quick glance around the room to see if anyone else is there. The lounge is empty, save for another resident in the corner, sleeping.

Naomi takes the bouquet out of her locker, careful not to smash the petals and holds it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. 

Deciding to not put more thought into where they came from, Naomi simply cradles the bouquet in the crook of one of her arms, stuffs her bag into her locker, and continues on with her morning routine.

She’s passing by the nurses’ station on the 7th floor when someone catches her attention. “Oh Dr. Valentine! You have a special delivery.”

Her steps slow down as she approaches the front desk where Sarah, one of her favorite RNs is stationed. Sarah steps aside, revealing an even larger bouquet of roses, these ones white.

“Where did these come from?” Naomi asks.

“They were delivered about half an hour ago,” Sarah replies with a wink. “No note, though. I won’t let Dr. Ramsey know that you have a secret admirer.”

And that’s when it clicks into place. Memories of her fight with Ethan come flooding back, and it becomes clear that he’s the one gifting her these flowers. Before she even realizes she’s doing it, her eyes roll. If he thinks a couple of bouquets of roses are a good enough apology, he can think again.

Naomi plucks a white rose right from the center of the bouquet and hands it to Sarah. “For you.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I insist,” Naomi says. “Happy Friday, Sarah.”

“Thank you, Dr. Valentine!”

Seeing the smile on the senior nurse’s face is almost enough to cleanse Naomi of the annoyance she feels towards Ethan in this moment. After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Naomi manages to scoop up this new batch of flowers – they’re in a vase, to which she adds her red ones – and finishes her trek to the office.

She isn’t expecting it to be covered in bunches of bright yellow sunflowers.

Their communal desk is covered in them, along with Ethan’s personal desk and the couch. “What on earth was he thinking?”

“I was thinking that sunflowers are your favorite flower,” Ethan answers, and Naomi jumps, startled at his voice. She whips around and sees him standing in the doorway. “And so I got up well before the sun was shining, went to the Boston Flower Exchange and bought every single one I could get my hands on.”

“And the roses?”

“White is supposed to be symbolic of new beginnings and forgiveness,” Ethan explains. “And you simply can’t go wrong with red.”

“If you think buying me flowers is going to cut it, you must not know me well,” Naomi says. Him buying her things doesn’t impress her, no matter how much she jokes about his money.

“No, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Ethan takes a cautious step into the room, shutting the door behind him. A sleepless night without her beside him forced Ethan to do a lot of thinking about how he wanted this conversation to go. A peace offering is always a good start. “And it got you to talk to me.”

Naomi scoffs and sets her flowers down. “Barely.”

“I’m sorry,” Ethan says. “I’m an idiot, and an asshole.”

“It’s good that we can agree on something.”

Okay, it’s clear that she is not going to give him any leeway. “You were absolutely right to call me out on my behavior towards you.”

“Why did you do it?” Naomi asks.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Ethan says simply. “I got so caught up in having Harper on the team, and it’s easy to slip back into old habits without even realizing.”

“It wasn’t a simple one time thing. It was more than once that you and Harper completely forgot I was even there. And I like Harper, I don’t think I could respect her more than I already do, and I have a very healthy sense of self esteem, but even the toughest person on earth wouldn’t like being in my shoes, on the outside looking in while you and your ex reminisce on old dates and inside stories. Ethan, you couldn’t handle a modicum of the shit I have willingly put up with in order to be with you.”

His stomach knots up at the thought of an ex-boyfriend of Naomi’s coming into his personal space, sharing personal jokes with her, ignoring him, and monopolizing her time. If the thought of it had him this twisted, he can’t believe he’s been putting her through that reality.

“You were right to call me out on my bad communication skills. I am terrible at relationships. I’m not using it as an excuse, it’s just the truth. But I’ve gotten complacent, which is unacceptable.” Ethan takes another step towards Naomi, and when she doesn’t instantly recoil, he takes it as a sign to get even closer. “The last thing I ever want to do is stifle your voice, or make you feel invisible. Naomi, you are...invaluable. To this hospital, to this team, to me, and I am so sorry that there was ever a time where I made you feel like you weren’t. You are the most important person in my life, and what we have is something I’ve never had with anyone else.”

“Okay, so start acting like it,” Naomi challenges. “I’m your equal and I demand every bit of respect you have to offer. Anything less than that cannot be tolerated anymore, personally or professionally.”

Ethan nods emphatically at her words. “Of course.”

“I mean it.”

“You have my word, Naomi. I’ll never let it happen again.” He closes the gap between them and cups her face in his hand. “Just please...never give me the silent treatment again. Yell from the rooftops, argue with me, I don’t care, but I can’t take not hearing your voice.”

“You needed to be taught a lesson,” Naomi says simply.

“I learned my lesson, and I hated it,” Ethan confesses, his lips dangerously close to hers. Naomi doesn’t budge, not even an inch. She’s terribly stubborn, even at the end of a fight. “It was torture.”

“Good.” Deciding to put him out of his misery, Naomi tilts her head up and captures Ethan in a kiss. He doesn’t waste a single second returning it. His free hand wraps around the small of her back, pulling her in closer. How did he go this long without touching her?

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been kissing, but he finally breaks apart from her long enough to bury his face in her neck, allowing her scent and soft skin to soothe any of his fraught nerves. She smells like home.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Ethan asks.

“The jury is still out on that one.”

“You’re going to make me work for this, aren’t you?”

“Are you up for the challenge?”

Ethan untangles himself from their embrace and takes a step back, so he’s able to look Naomi in the eyes. He takes her hand and presses a soft kiss into her palm. “For you? I’ll do just about anything.”

~v~

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