#discreet journaling

[autisticundertale]

ATTENTION PLURALS! Whether you have DID, OSDD, UDD, or some other form of plurality, this could be extremely helpful for you!

Our mother has created and put for sale discreet plurality journals! These journals include spaces to write information about system members, important information (contacts, family, friends, partners, etc), system rules, pages to keep track of physical/mental health (diagnoses, suspected conditions, symptoms, triggers, etc), a built-in calender to mark and keep track of things, a section to keep track of switching, a mental health journal, and a section for general journaling shenanigans!

Note that it is queer friendly, including a segment for pronouns in each member's bios/the bios of loved ones, as well as not monogamous assuming in language or nature.

Here are the links to them, and the three cover options available to pick from! (Frog cover, flower cover, and owl cover.)

Here are some example pages (minus the mental health journal and regular journal pages, both of which are at the end, and have 100+ pages.) Most of these pages have multiple copies, so there is plenty of room! For example, the "our switches" section has 50 pages.

Order to support our mom (and in turn, our family) as well as get something that can help your system! Please reblog for more systems to see!

[beastsovrevelation]

I need to read up on how Archangel Michael appears on Earth more. I know some stories, but still... Since, I'm pretty close to the part where she does.

[arctic-hands]

I definitely recommend devising some sort of bullet journaling system for chronically sick/disabled/Otherwise Often In And Out Of Hospitals And Clinics people. 1) to keep track of all your symptoms and appointments, a medication list, surgical history, and basic vital things you need to inform a medical professional in an urgent situation and you keep forgetting all your conditions or meds or what have you, and b) you get Happy Points by doctors and staff complimenting you for making intakes and other information take-downs easy

[Image Description: a photo of a memo pad, where it is written in cursive "Tally Of Medical Professionals Who Have Praised The BuJo" followed by 4 tally marks. End I.D]

All of us should be keeping some sort of medical binder to take with us to hospitals anyway, but bullet journaling is the most flexible for our chaotic lives imo

[hwanics]

hello! i'm kai! i'm a closeted hellenic pagan, and i started a secret journal where i can dedicate myself to my practice in a safe way. this is my first entry, and my plans are to always have some sort of hymn/more formal prayer on the front and have a more personal part on the back (that part is very private haha! it's not in the pics). in the picture, i have a hand written and shorter version of the homeric hymn to Apollo, translated by rodney merrill! i want to incorporate more stickers, drawings and such to my entrys as i go! it's not perfect but im so insanely happy about how it turned out!

[trinketfairy]

I really do wanna get some baby pacifiers for the sake of modding them to be used by some of my plush that I envision as being babies or toddlers, but I am just not strong enough to walk into a store and pick up some pacifiers as a man in his 20's. Not that there's anything inherently bad with doing so of course, I'm just sensitive and easily flustered.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

commonly confused words

accept: to receive except: with the exclusion of

advice: recommendation (noun) advise: to recommend (verb)

adverse: unfavorable averse: opposed to

affect: to influence (verb); emotional response (noun) effect: result (noun); to cause (verb)

aisle: space between rows isle: island

allude: to make indirect reference to elude: to avoid

allusion: indirect reference illusion: false idea, misleading appearance

already: by this time all ready: fully prepared

altar: sacred platform or place alter: to change

altogether: thoroughly all together: everyone/everything in one place

a lot: a quantity; many of something allot: to divide or portion out

angel: supernatural being, good person angle: shape made by joining two straight lines

are: plural form of "to be" our: plural form of "my"

accent: pronunciation common to a region ascent: the act of rising or climbing assent: consent, agreement

assistance: help assistants: helpers

bare: nude, unadorned bear: to carry; an animal

beside: close to; next to besides: except for; in addition

boar: a wild male pig bore: to drill a hole through

board: piece of wood bored: uninterested

born: brought into life borne: past participle of "to bear" (carry)

breath: air taken in (noun) breathe: to take in air (verb)

brake: device for stopping break: destroy; make into pieces

buy: to purchase by: next to; through the agency of

canvas: heavy cloth canvass: to take a survey; a survey

capital: major city capitol: government building

choose: to pick chose: past tense of "to choose"

clothes: garments close: to shut; near cloths: pieces of fabric

coarse: rough course: path; series of lectures

complement: something that completes compliment: praise, flattery

conscience: sense of morality conscious: awake, aware

corps: regulated group corpse: dead body

council: governing body counsel: advice; to give advice

dairy: place where milk products are processed diary: personal journal

descent: downward movement dissent: disagreement

dessert: final, sweet course in a meal desert: to abandon; dry, sandy area

device: a plan; a tool or utensil devise: to create

discreet: modest, prudent behavior discrete: a separate thing, distinct

do: a verb indicating performance or execution of a task dew: water droplets condensed from air due: as a result of

dominant: commanding, controlling dominate: to control

die: to lose life; one of a pair of dice dye: to change or add color

dyeing: changing or adding color dying: losing life

elicit: to draw out illicit: illegal, forbidden

eminent: prominent imminent: about to happen

envelop: to surround (verb) envelope: container for a letter (noun)

everyday: routine, commonplace, ordinary (adj.) every day: each day, succession (adj. + noun)

fair: just, honest; a carnival; light skinned fare: money for transportation; food

farther: at a greater (measurable) distance further: in greater (non-measurable) depth

formally: conventionally, with ceremony formerly: previously

forth: forward fourth: number four in a list

gorilla: animal in ape family guerrilla: soldier specializing in surprise attacks

hear: to sense sound by ear here: in this place

heard: past tense of "to hear" herd: group of animals

hoard: a hidden fund or supply, a cache horde: a large group or crowd, swarm

hole: opening whole: complete; an entire thing

human: relating to the species homo sapiens humane: compassionate

its: possessive form of "it" it's: contraction for "it is"

knew: past tense of "know" new: fresh, not yet old

know: to comprehend no: negative

later: after a time latter: second one of two things

lead: heavy metal substance; to guide led: past tense of "to lead"

lessen: to decrease lesson: something learned and/or taught

lightning: storm-related electricity lightening: making lighter

loose: unbound, not tightly fastened lose: to misplace

maybe: perhaps (adv.) may be: might be (verb)

meat: animal flesh meet: to encounter mete: to measure; to distribute

medal: a flat disk stamped with a design meddle: to interfere, intrude metal: a hard organic substance mettle: courage, spirit, energy

miner: a worker in a mine minor: underage person (noun); less important (adj.)

moral: distinguishing right from wrong; lesson of a fable or story morale: attitude or outlook usually of a group

passed: past tense of "to pass" past: at a previous time

patience: putting up with annoyances patients: people under medical care

peace: absence of war piece: part of a whole; musical arrangement

peak: point, pinnacle, maximum peek: to peer through or look furtively pique: fit of resentment, feeling of wounded vanity

pedal: the foot lever of a bicycle or car petal: a flower segment peddle: to sell

personal: intimate; owned by a person personnel: employees

plain: simple, unadorned plane: to shave wood; aircraft (noun)

precede: to come before proceed: to continue

presence: attendance; being at hand presents: gifts

principal: foremost (adj.); administrator of a school (noun) principle: moral conviction, basic truth

quiet: silent, calm quite: very

rain: water drops falling; to fall like rain reign: to rule rein: strap to control an animal (noun); to guide or control (verb)

raise: to lift up raze: to tear down

rational: having reason or understanding rationale: principles of opinion, beliefs

respectfully: with respect respectively: in that order

reverend: title given to clergy; deserving respect reverent: worshipful

right: correct; opposite of left rite: ritual or ceremony write: to put words on paper

road: path rode: past tense of "to ride"

scene: place of an action; segment of a play seen: viewed; past participle of "to see"

sense: perception, understanding since: measurement of past time; because

sight: scene, view, picture site: place, location cite: to document or quote (verb)

stationary: standing still stationery: writing paper

straight: unbending strait: narrow or confining; a waterway

taught: past tense of "to teach" taut: tight

than: used to introduce second element; compared to then: at that time; next

their: possessive form of "they" there: in that place they’re: contraction for "they are"

through: finished; into and out of threw: past tense of "to throw" thorough: complete

to: toward too: also; very (used to show emphasis) two: number following one

track: course, road tract: pamphlet; plot of ground

waist: midsection of the body waste: discarded material; to squander

waive: forgo, renounce wave: flutter, move back and forth

weak: not strong week: seven days

weather: climatic condition whether: if wether: a neutered male sheep

where: in which place were: past tense of "to be"

which: one of a group witch: female sorcerer

whose: possessive for "of who" who’s: contraction for "who is"

your: possessive for "of you" you’re: contraction for "you are" yore: time long past

commonly confused words part 2 ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[mariasont]

Please, Don't Prove 'Em Right - A.H

a/n: my girl sabrina can do no wrong and i have been listening to this song on repeat since it came out so i just absolutely needed to write a fic about it

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: aaron hotchner is a busy man and he tends to disappoint you by missing important events

warnings: angst (sorry in advance), aaron is like not a great husband, reader is also an imperfect character, reader is a girl boss though

wc: 1.2k

You were in your best dress. More expensive than you'd ever think about buying for yourself, but it had been a gift from Aaron. You had fought him on it, scolding him for spending so much on a dress you were sure to only wear once. But he had insisted, telling you that this opportunity was once in a lifetime and that it would be a sin for it to not be celebrated with a dress that made you shine like a ruby.

He was right, partly, you were shining--glowing, sparkling, glittering--as you moved through the library. It was beautiful, to say the least--all opulence and history that was almost too much to absorb. The marble floors almost seemed to amplify the conversations around you, the clinking of glasses, the swish of overpriced gowns and tuxedos.

Your eyes settled on the tiered desks fitted with bronze reading lamps, now repurposed as a station for hors d'oeuvres and champagne. The circular arrangement of desks, once centered around knowledge, now facilitated hushed gossip and the discreet laughter of society's finest.

You could almost hear what they were thinking: there she is again without her husband, that poor thing always by herself, and your personal favorite—does he even exist?

You wanted to be angry, to scold their prying eyes, for putting their noses into something that had nothing to do with them whatsoever. But could you really blame them? Every event you attended you told the same story--my husband is a busy man with an important job--a line you had grown tired of repeating. 

And that was all true. He devoted most of his time to saving lives--how could you find fault in that? How could you complain to having a husband whose very essence was self-sacrifice and heroism?

This evening was set to be an exception; he was in New York for a case, and the Pulitzer Prize ceremony was not something he would miss. He had given you his word.

You understood his passion for his job, completely, because you held that same passion for your own. You dedicated years of your life to your journalism, investigating corruption at its highest levels. This is exactly how you ended up here tonight, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for that very work. A Pulitzer Prize.

The term once seemed like a fantastical concept to you, a lofty accolade reserved for the likes of JFK, Bob Dylan, Robert Frost--icons, not someone as ordinary as you. Yet, against all odds, you find yourself among the select few, a nominee for an honor that has only been won by 1,512 individuals since 1917, a fact Spencer had supplied you with.

Someone was speaking to you, saying your name. Almost without thinking, your hand found a flute of champagne, taking a generous sip before turning to face them.

"You look stunning, and a well-deserved congratulations are in order. Everyone back at the office is cheering for you." It was your boss, her stilettos adding inches to her already imposing frame.

The flattery didn't quite mask her usual coldness, it was all too artificial. She wasn't your biggest fan, and she had made that clear from your first day. Still, you mustered a smile and thanked her anyway, taking another sip of champagne, hoping to drown away her nauseating voice.

"It's too bad your husband couldn't be here," she began, and you had to resist the urge to rip out her extensions. "This is an incredible accomplishment, but he's quite the busy man, as you say."

"Yes, he is busy, but he'll be here tonight," you replied, flashing her your best smile as you smoothed the red fabric that suddenly felt too tight. "He's actually here in New York on a case."

"Oh, how great. I can't wait to put a face to the name." You could tell by the look she shot her own husband that she didn't believe a word from your mouth. "Anyway, I have to go speak with an academy representative, but I'll see you and your husband at the ceremony?"

You responded with a nod, not dignifying her with words as she left, her giggles a bitter sound. You hated her. And you were ready to make her eat her words when your husband, who looked absolutely incredibly in a suit, showed up.

But then it was dinner, and you found yourself alone, surrounded by a table of important people whose names you couldn't remember. The seat beside you was empty and suddenly that omnipotent, cloud-nine feeling you had vanished with the time that passed.

The text you sent piled up, feeling a little juvenile, like you were back in high school again getting stood up at prom.

Let me know when you're close!

Is everything going okay?

Call me if you can.

An onslaught of anxious thoughts skyrocketed around your mind as you mechanically chewed the fancy food that only seemed to upset your stomach further. What if something happened? Was he okay? Did the case go wrong? Did he get in a car accident on the way here?

You were a bundle of nerves, gnawing on the inside of your mouth as your heel tapped up and down against the floor. But this wasn't borne from concern for his well-being; deep down, you were certain he was fine. The truth was simpler and sharper: he wasn't coming.

You should have been prepared, should have braced for this, but you were convinced that this time, this occasion would be an exception.

You name was being called, but this time not by someone wanting to extract prying information or stir speculation, no, this time it was carried across the crowed, wrapped in the microphone's static hum.

Your head snapped up, fingers ceasing their fidgeting as you struggled to mask the shock and avoid the gaping, breathless look of a fish out of water.

You had won.

People were clapped, but it seemed far away as you made your way to the stage, hands coming from all directions to offer pats on the back and handshakes of congratulations.

You had won.

Your feet were carrying you up a small set of stairs. You were trying to remember how to walk--left, right, heel, toe. There was a bright light on you now, prompting a slight squint and you worked to keep a smile on your face as you accepted the award.

You had to be dreaming. Had to be. There was no other explanation.

You were on display now, under the intense stage lights. Your body was on autopilot, stepping behind the podium, words flowing out of your mouth--a speech you had rehearsed over and over again in the slim chance that you would win. And here you are.

But the more you spoke the more you seemed to deviate from the script.

You paused, voice catching as you tried your best not to let the tears fall--your makeup was too pristine for smears.

"But tonight, as I accept this honor, I am reminded that while we may seek comfort in the presence of others, our truest strength comes from within." Your eyes dart around the audience, clinging to the slim chance he's there, that he showed up. "It comes from knowing that when we step into the moment, we step in with conviction, with passion, and sometimes, with a singularity that says we are enough."

The final words of your speech hang in the air, a brittle hope that disappears as quickly as it surfaced. He proved them right, and no amount of applause can drown out the sound of your heart breaking just a little.

part 2

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179

[khaire-traveler]

☀️ Subtle Apollon Worship 🏹

Singing/listening to your favorite songs; this applies to any music, though

Listening to music while studying

Playing any instrument

Dedicating a journal to writing poetry or stories

Reading poetry books; reading ancient poetry/stories (especially ancient Greek poetry/stories)

Dancing to any music of your choice

Setting reminders to take medication on time; taking your medication in general

Taking care of your body physically, such as brushing one's teeth or taking a shower

Taking a walk on a sunny day; basking in the warmth of the light

Keeping a pic of him in your wallet

Wearing jewelry that reminds you of him

Keeping imagery of light/the sun, lyres, instruments, music, swans, cranes, or ravens around

Getting a wolf, swan, or dolphin stuffed animal

Anything to do with positive and healthy self-wellness

Learning archery

Learning to do divination outside of the obvious (the obvious being tarot, runes, and pendulums, for example; not obvious would be cartomancy, pyromancy, carromancy, shufflomancy, etc.)

Doing homework (yes, really)

Being kind to yourself when you're having a difficult time

Placing positive affirmations on somewhere you'd see them everyday, especially ones about things you're proud of

Checking in with yourself emotionally throughout the day; how are you feeling? What are some good things that have happened so far? What are some not so good things?

Learning about philosophy and taking note of your thoughts on the topic

Learning more about yourself (e.g. make a list of things you enjoy, try new hobbies, experiment with new outfits, etc.)

Expressing yourself through art of any kind

Having a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Keeping a personal journal/diary - somewhere where you can keep track of your thoughts and feelings

Practice compassion and patience, especially with yourself

Continue learning throughout your life; interesting topics, philosophy, music, psychology, physical health, etc.

Learn about any medical conditions you or a loved one has

Learn about your healthcare options and medical rights (HIPPA in the US)

Support education forward, humanitarian, healthcare, or homeless shelter organizations

Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Donate clothes, toys, hygiene kits, and other items; hygiene kits are always needed

Be kind to children; play with them if offered

Make a list of things that make you feel human throughout the year - moments where you feel present, content, and alive

Sharpen your mind; play memory or mentally stimulating games

Practice drawing, painting, or similar artistic activities

-

May add more later! For now, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Apollo. I hope it helps someone, and take care, y'all! 🧡

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[emmtm]

Canon GO things that are important & should be talked abt more

- crowley miracles his clothes on so he never actually wears clothes

- aziraphale just causally has a gun in his bookshop what the hell is up w that

- Crowleys favorite TV show is the golden girls

- Literally everyone who meets azi immediately assumes that he is gay and british.

- Anathema just legit assumed that crowley and aziraphale were a couple.

- Aziraphale is a doctor who fan??? This guy is a nerd lmfao

- Crowleys favorite animal is kids. What does that even mean Mr. Gaiman

- Azi calls crowley “my dear” and this is very important to me

- Shadwell thought that azi was a russian spy ???

- Crowley slept for an ENTIRE CENTURY.

- Azis tax reports are so incredibly accurate that the authorities got suspicious.

- the apology dance exists and idfk what to do with that information

- When crowley told az that he changed his name, az asked if he changed it to asmodeus. The demon of lust. Dude.

- Crowley doesnt blink a lot, and he has a tendency to hiss. And can do weird things with his tounge.

- The. The discreet gentlemans club that aziraphale joined was an actual club. And it was a gay club. He learned to gavotte at a gay club.

- early versions of the gavotte involved kissing- bro???

- AZ STARTS HIS JOURNAL ENTRIES WITH “DEAR DIARY” BRO I LOVE HIM HES SO DUMB

- THYE LIKE HOLDING HANDSSS

- Crowleh invented game shows

- CROWLEY IS A HOZIER FAN???

- Az likes abba and death cab for cutie (ofc he does)

[crescenthistory]

hi babycakes i LOVE!!!! your fics. every single one of them. and i’ve been thinking…

klepto!barty!!!! klepto!barty!!!!!

barty who just can’t resist taking those cute little bracelets reader wears!!!! barty who’ll steal the occasional polaroid photo from readers dorm!! barty whos not as sneaky as he seems to think… in regards both to his thieving and his feelings…

and you know what? i love YOU baby, thank you for sharing such a beautiful thought

klepto!barty is so real to me, very much in the same way that pyro!barty and compulsive liar!barty are so real to me

in general, i fully believe that barty has self-destructive coping mechanisms and impulse control issues. together, that creates a very spicy and spiky mental health and public persona.

however, it's so interesting to consider how those affect his relationship(s) -> familial, platonic or romantic

i believe he is all-or-nothing in how he loves, and that often involves becoming rather obsessive in both positive and negative ways

and this is at every stage in the relationship – prior, during and after (though the last one will never apply to us ofc...)

he will remember everything you ever tell him. your favourite colour? he wears it. favourite scent? he sprays it everywhere. best memories? he tries to recreate them.

and god forbid you ever rant to him about someone or something that annoys you, because he will fix it. in whatever way suitable.

so yeah, he is not good at hiding his feelings

i think that when he knows about his feelings himself he doesn't really try to hide them either though, he owns them (and you) loudly and proudly

but this boy has a THICK skull and wouldn't know before you two kiss honestly

everytime you walk together he slips something in or out of your purse/pocket/bookbag

slips in something he knows you might like, whether it's a trinket or a crystal for whimsy!reader or a new pen or ink for studious!reader

and he takes whatever feels the most like you, something that gives him that warm rush

like a bracelet, a hairtie, chapstick

(don't even get me started on the obsession he has with your chapstick and lipgloss or lipstick. very much a "i'm jealous of the rain that falls upon your skin" type of man)

in general, it's that rush he chases in everything in life – he needs to feel and he needs to do so intensely

barty was repressed and suppressed by his father for so long, that now if he gets the urge to scream at the top of his lungs, he cannot deign to deny himself that. it fosters chaos for sure, but it is also a quality that will allow you to experience radical comfort in a way you never thought you could.

when he takes something or does something he shouldn't have, it's like he can hear barriers and rules breaking around him like glass, and this little bitch loves it

he might even giggle especially if you enable him

this mf would not be above taking your journal and reading through it either – but he wouldn't even be sneaky or hide it then, he might even do it in front of you

barty always appears VERY comfortable in his own misdoings and chaos. he will just openly take the notebook from your bag, cross his legs and begin reading in front of you as you stare at him affronted.

you might say "excuse me?!" to which he furrows his brows in confusion and asks "what?"

when you become official, your closet is raided on the daily

no matter what house or dorm you're in. barty finds a way.

it is not uncommon for him to walk around in your jumper, but he much prefers when it's something more intimate and discreet that he can carry with him everywhere

like wearing your t-shirt or top beneath his school uniform – he loves knowing that it's there and it's yours and no one else knows

suffice it to say he never cleans your clothes before he takes them either; this is a man that's obsessed with pheromones

nsfw: he is without a doubt an underwear stealer, he hoards them away in his bedside drawer for when he misses you. and to just keep you close.

it's practical for you too, because there's always underwear ready for you at his place! no need to bring any yourself 🙃 end nsfw

he will wear your jewelry too, he absolutely loves seeing a piece of you on his skin

barty is for sure the type to get tattoos of and for his partner. again – all or fucking nothing. and with you, he always goes for all.

klepto!barty is so fun, but so is everything beneath it and what it represents 🤌 thanks for joining me in my brainrot

[ddarker-dreams]

scaramouche spots your journal while you're out and about (without him, not that he's bothered by this, nope, of course not), and is thrust into a moral dilemma. this moral dilemma is overseen by two little imps on each side of his shoulder. there is no angel, just an imp with slightly less pronounced horns than its compatriot. this one poses the argument that if you ever found out, you'd be upset, which would make him upset, because he sustains himself off your positive attention.

the other side contends that there's no chance you'll ever find out if he's discreet. the benefits outweigh the risks — how much useful information could he glean from an unfiltered look into your mind? he could nip any dissatisfaction you profess about your relationship in the bud. or investigate any individual you mention more than the acceptable amount of once (twice for family). this last point especially entices him.

in the end, he heeds the fully formed imp's counsel.

he's familiar enough with your presence to know when you're nearby. with this failsafe in mind, he gets to reading.

naturally, he flips to the date where you first met (yes, he has it memorized). he scoffs at your initial take on him, which says you met a 'haughty yet pretty individual.' from his recollection, he was quite amiable with you. hmph. nonetheless, he continues his diligent search. experiencing the progression from 'stranger' to an 'unexpected friend.'

your fondness for him gradually lifts from the paper and touches the heart he thought he didn't have.

'... he acts indifferent, but i can tell he cares in his own, unique way. he does so many little things, like planting flowers in my garden that i admired during a walk we went on together.'

'if we encounter any hostile creatures, he immediately moves his body in front of mine to protect me. i know he can take care of himself, but if he ever got hurt on my behalf, i would be devastated...'

'love has always sounded like such a nice, abstract concept. i patiently waited for the day i'd get to experience it myself. i've finally found it with kunikuzushi.'

scaramouche is presented with a new dilemma once he's finished reading.

how will he explain away the fresh tearstains that've seeped into the pages...?

[sayhoneysiren]

Which 48th Law of Power, should you apply to your situation for success?

{Collab with @lavendergoddesstarot}

Pile 1 is on the left side. Pile 2 is on the right side.

Welcome Sirens! This reading is for entertainment purposes only based on the downloads I receive. Do not attack me if the message doesn’t resonate. Keep in mind this is a collective reading, not a individual one. With that being said, enjoy!

Honey $iren🍒

>Join for weekly Tarot Readings here<

⸻⊱༺  🩸 ༻⊰⸻

Pile I

(1st part of your reading here)

When it come to success, you may have the habit of oversharing your ideas with others. Spirit is saying, learn to keep your goals private. You have ideas that are absolutely GOLDEN, but unfortunately, there are bitter and jealous people around you, who want to sink your boat. Your success is a threat to them and when you yap to them about all your ideas, you give them your blueprint to destroy you. The Wheel of Fortune came out for you last, which shows me that when you learn to reserve your ideas or share only fractions of information, luck will be on your side and the wheels will turn in your favor.

~ LAW 24 - PLAY THE PERFECT COURTIER ~

(The numbers 24, 2, 4, or 6. may be significant to you. It could be your birth date number, current age or a significant number to you).

Quote from the book 48 Laws of Power, "The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the most oblique and graceful manner. Learn to apply the law of courtier-ship and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court." - Robert Greene

There's an old saying coming to mind, "Never let anyone see you with your head to the ground." We all have weaknesses and our weaknesses should always be kept to ourselves, until we overcome them. The message for you is to Master you Emotions. Handle your messy business privately. Don’t rant to people about your problems, even if they’re friends. Show a professional, strong face to the world, even when you feel worried. Stay motivated on the end goal, even when you feel defeated.

You may also have difficulties with wanting to prove yourself as worthy or intelligent to others (which causes you to debate, argue, overshare or overextend yourself). Learn to hold back. There's no need to cast your pearls to swine.

ADVICE

Master your emotions. Don't allow insults and threats to pierce you.

Find creative outlets to release your energy into. (If you’re a writer, write to release your thoughts and feelings or to creative stories.)

Learn social protocol, discreetness and etiquette with others.

Trust no one.

Let your actions and results speak louder than the need to prove people wrong or right.

⸻⊱༺  🩸 ༻⊰⸻

Pile II

(1st part of your reading here).

There was something said to you, that made you feel insecure about your self image or your abilities to succeed. You are hanging on to this, and because of this you are not allowing yourself to move forwards and become your greatest. For many of you, it was a person close to you, that you deeply trusted, who hurt you with their words or actions. Here’s what to do. Cry about it, journal about it, meditate on it, THEN LET IT GO. (And if it's better, let them go too).

Your value is never determined by anyone else, it is determined by you. To become your successful self, own all that you are, in body, spirit, emotion and mentality. You are not a mistake. Don’t be fooled by the people who cannot see your value yet.

You are a very grounded and practical person, who holds immense wisdom within'. Your intuitive powers are off the charts! 

These toxic people around you, don't see your power or how your ideas can come into fruition but don't let that stop you from carrying on. You have the ability to manifest like a God or Goddess on Earth and you will be a wealthy person very soon.

LAW 28 - ENTER ACTION WITH BOLDNESS

(The numbers 28, 0, 1, 2, 8, or 10. may be significant to you. It could be your birth date number, current age or a significant number to you).

Quote from the book 48 Laws of Power, "If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous. Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admirers the bold; no one honors the timid. - Robert Greene

Don't be the victim, be the successor. Push through all negativity until you are successful. Learn to stand up for yourself with boldness and walk your path audaciously. When you speak, speak with firmness and a assured tone. When you have ideas, create and pursue them with confidence. The cards are telling you, that your ideas are brilliant and that they are going to be greatly received by the world (fame is highly likely for you), so don’t feel insecure about yourself. Just trust the process.

ADVICE

Learn not to take criticism personally.

Work on your self value and self esteem.

Work with the Lion totem or the Goddess SEKHMET to be more courageous.

Cut toxic people out of your life.

Create boundaries and stand up for yourself.

Do Solar Plexus practices. Sunbathe. Get an Aura Reading.

[chaos-bites]

💐 Subtle Freyja Worship 💕

Honor passed ancestors/loved ones; learn about your family history

Keep a self-care/self-love journal

Show yourself the same kindness you give to others

Have a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Wear perfumes/colognes that remind you of her

Have a stuffed animal boar, cat, or falcon/bird of prey

Practice standing up for yourself and others; stand up for what you believe in

Have imagery of love, wings, or cats around

If you have a cat (or any pet), play with them

Assert your personal boundaries; learn what your boundaries are

Volunteer at an animal shelter, especially a cat shelter

Drink herbal tea, and add honey to it; drink something comforting

Feed neighborhood cats or birds (or dogs)

Support women's rights or SA survivor organizations

Practice discreet witchcraft or learn non-obvious divination methods (cartomancy, pyromancy, carromancy, etc.)

Express yourself in little ways, if you can't be open; a bracelet to represent your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.

Take a self-care/self-love bath, especially with flower petals (ensure they're safe first!!!)

Buy a bouquet of flowers, for yourself or a loved one

If you have a partner, do something nice or romantic for them; a date somewhere they like, surprise gifts, spending time with them, etc.

Give compliments to strangers; give compliments to yourself

Practice self-acceptance

Make a list of positive traits you have as well as points of pride

Take a hike/walk out in nature

Try to see the beauty in the world around you; notice the beauty in the little things

Spend time with your loved ones

Cook a good meal for yourself or loved ones

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally

Start a skin/body care routine

Start a flower garden; tend to plants

Eat your favorite candy

Be gentle with yourself when you're having a difficult time

Meditate to the sounds of nature or flowing water; be comfortable with your own presence

-

May add more later on! This is my list of discreet ways to worship Freyja. Take care, everyone, and I hope this helps! 🩷

Link to my Subtle Worship Master list

[inkempressz]

Yandere Izuku Midoriya analysis

Izuku Midoriya as a yandere in his early thirties would be unsettlingly intense, given his obsessive personality, meticulous planning, and hero complex. Here’s an analysis of how his yandere tendencies might manifest:

Core Personality as a Yandere

Izuku’s obsessive admiration for heroes and his analytical nature suggest that his fixation on you would be all-consuming. His love would likely stem from the belief that you are his “symbol of peace,” someone who gives his life meaning beyond hero work. However, his relentless drive to protect and his tendency to overthink would twist into a dangerous possessiveness.

Creepy Behaviour

1. Obsessive Monitoring

• Izuku would use his hero status to gain access to surveillance tools, ensuring he always knows where you are. He’d justify it as “keeping you safe.”

• He might even plant discreet tracking devices on your belongings or tap into public cameras, citing his hero duties as an excuse.

2. Detailed Journals

• Much like his childhood habit of analysing heroes, he’d keep a journal dedicated to you. These would contain detailed observations about your habits, preferences, routines, and even fears.

• His notes would include ways to “improve your life,” which could mean isolating you from anyone he perceives as a threat to your happiness or safety.

3. Hero Persona as a Shield

• Izuku’s position as a pro hero would make it easy for him to justify his actions. If you questioned his invasive behaviour, he’d insist it’s his duty as a hero to protect you, even from yourself.

• If someone got too close to you, he might intimidate them subtly, reminding them of his status and power in the guise of concern.

4. Unhealthy Idolisation

• He’d put you on an impossible pedestal, believing you’re perfect and can do no wrong. Any mistake or flaw would be rationalised as something others caused, making him fiercely protective of your image.

• In private, he might “correct” you gently, believing he knows what’s best for you.

5. Isolation Tactics

• Izuku would see friends, family, or coworkers as distractions or dangers. Using his kind-hearted facade, he’d manipulate situations to push others away—convincing you that they don’t truly care or don’t have your best interests at heart.

• If someone persisted, they might mysteriously find themselves involved in accidents or scandals that Izuku would “regretfully” apologise for, always being there to console you afterward.

6. Physical Possessiveness

• While he might start out shy and hesitant, his obsession would eventually translate into physical possessiveness. He’d insist on holding your hand in public, hugging you often, and standing close enough to ward off others.

• In private, he might struggle to respect boundaries, believing you need his affection to feel safe and loved.

7. Heroic Justifications for Violence

• If anyone posed a genuine threat—or even if they just flirted with you—Izuku wouldn’t hesitate to deal with them. He’d convince himself that eliminating these “villains” is his heroic duty, even if his methods become increasingly violent.

• He’d justify every action by telling himself (and you) that it’s for the greater good and that a true hero sacrifices everything for the ones they love.

8. Emotional Manipulation

• If you tried to leave or expressed discomfort, he’d become emotionally overwhelming. He’d cry, beg, and insist that he only wants what’s best for you, making it nearly impossible to argue with him.

• His guilt-tripping might escalate to self-harm or reckless heroics, ensuring you feel responsible for his wellbeing and stay by his side.

What Makes Him Scary

• Control Disguised as Care: Izuku’s public image as a pure-hearted hero would make it difficult for anyone to believe he’s capable of dark behaviour. His kind demeanour would mask his manipulations, leaving you isolated and dependent on him.

• Rationalised Obsession: Unlike impulsive yanderes, Izuku’s actions would be meticulously planned. He wouldn’t act out of rage but out of a calculated belief that he knows what’s best for you.

• Duality: His ability to switch between the smiling, idealistic hero and the unnervingly intense lover would be jarring. You’d never know which side of him you’d face at any given moment.

How He Sees the Relationship

To Izuku, you are both his greatest weakness and his ultimate strength. He’d believe that as long as he has you, he can endure anything. However, this same belief would make him desperate to control every aspect of your life, ensuring nothing ever threatens his happiness.

While he’d likely never hurt you directly, his actions would emotionally trap you in a gilded cage. In his mind, the ends always justify the means, so long as you remain his.

[mommyownsmee]

How to be Little in public without others noticing ♡

If you find yourself slipping into littlespace in public (like in class, at work, or around people who don’t know about it) and want to stay in that safe, small headspace without drawing attention, here are some subtle ways to comfort yourself, stay present, and embrace your little side quietly.

This post contains:

1. Internal Littlespace – Staying in Your Head

2. Secret Fidgeting & Comfort Items

3. Secret Little Treats & Sensory Comfort

4. Writing & Secret Notes to Yourself

5. Discreet Listening & Digital Comfort

6. Body Language & Subtle Self-Soothing

7. Positive Reinforcement & Secret Rewards

8. Planning for Later

‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞ ୨୧ ‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿

Internal Littlespace – Staying in Your Head

• 🧸 Use Your Inner Little Voice – Instead of speaking in little talk out loud, let your thoughts be playful and soft. Tell yourself, “I’m being such a good little one doing my work,” or imagine your caregiver praising you in your mind.

• 💕 Create a Secret Game for Yourself – Try giving yourself little challenges, like:

- “If I write five more sentences, I get to doodle a tiny heart.”

- “If I finish this task, I get to take a sip of my juice box.”

• 🎀 Assign Cute Names to Objects – Your pen can be Mr. Scribbles, your phone can be Blinky, and your backpack can be Adventure Pack.

• 💭 Imagine Your CG (or Comfort Character) Watching Over You – If you have a CG, picture them watching proudly as you do your work. If you don’t, think of a favorite plushie, cartoon character, or even a pet, encouraging you!

Secret Fidgeting & Comfort Items

• 🖊 Use a Cute Pen or Pencil – A soft pastel pen, a squishy pencil grip, or a character-themed writing tool can make work feel fun.

• 🎀 Wear Something Small That Makes You Feel Little – A bracelet, ring, necklace, or hair clip with a small charm that reminds you of being little.

• 🧸 Keep a Tiny Comfort Object in Your Pocket or Bag – A mini plushie, small sensory stone, soft fabric, or a keychain can help ground you.

• 🎨 Doodle Secretly – You can draw in the margins of your notes, on a sticky note, or in a small journal. Even tiny stars, flowers, or smiley faces can feel comforting.

• ☁️ Squish Something Soft – Keep a stress ball, slime, or soft scrunchie in your pocket to fidget with subtly.

Secret Little Treats & Sensory Comfort

• 🍎 Pack a Fun Snack – A juice box, fruit snacks, goldfish crackers, or anything fun and nostalgic that won’t stand out too much.

• 🍬 Keep Hard Candy or Gum – Sucking on something sweet like a lollipop or chewing bubblegum can feel comforting without anyone noticing.

• 🌈 Use Lightly Scented Hand Lotion – Pick something soft like vanilla, cotton candy, or strawberries. Applying lotion can feel soothing and help you stay grounded.

• ☕ Drink from a Cute Water Bottle – A pastel bottle or one decorated with stickers can feel like a secret little comfort.

Writing & Secret Notes to Yourself

• 📒 Use a Cute Journal or Planner – Decorate it with stickers, colorful pens, or washi tape. Writing things in a playful way can keep you feeling small.

• ✍️ Make To-Do Lists in a Fun Way – Instead of “Finish Essay,” write “Write Smart Words!” or “Do Big Girl Work!”

• 📖 Write Yourself a Love Note – Tuck a small sticky note in your notebook that says “You’re a good little one!” or “CG would be proud!”

Discreet Listening & Digital Comfort

• 🎧 Listen to Comforting Music – If allowed, wear earbuds and listen to soft piano, Disney instrumentals, lofi beats, or cozy soundscapes.

• 📱 Set a Cute Phone Wallpaper – Pick an image of a plushie, a soft pastel aesthetic, or a comfort character.

• 🖥 Use a Cozy Study Timer App – Apps like Forest, Study Bunny, or Pomodoro let you gamify work while keeping a gentle, comforting theme.

• 📚 Read Something Cute on Breaks – Whether it’s a lighthearted story, a favorite childhood book, or a short fanfiction, reading something soft can help.

Body Language & Subtle Self-Soothing

• 🧦 Wear Soft Socks or Comfy Underlayers – Even if no one sees, fuzzy socks, soft leggings, or a cozy bralette can make you feel safe.

• 🌸 Hold Your Sleeves or Play with Your Jewelry – Holding onto something, like the edge of your sweater, a pendant, or a ring, can be a secret comfort.

• ✋ Rub Your Fingers Together or Tap Your Thigh Lightly – A repetitive, gentle motion can help regulate emotions and keep you grounded.

• 😌 Take Deep, Quiet Breaths – Inhale slowly, hold for three seconds, and exhale gently through your nose. This keeps you relaxed.

Positive Reinforcement & Secret Rewards

• 🌟 Give Yourself Silent Praises – “Good job, me!” after completing a task can feel rewarding.

• 💖 Pretend Your CG (or Comfort Character) is Watching – Imagine them smiling, hugging you, or patting your head when you finish something hard.

• 🏅 Set Tiny Rewards for Yourself – “If I finish this paragraph, I can sip my juice box,” or “If I complete this page, I get to hold my plushie later.”

Planning for Later

• 🏡 Think About Your Littlespace Routine at Home – Plan what you’ll do when you get home, like coloring, watching cartoons, or snuggling a plushie.

• 💤 Promise Yourself Rest Time – Remind yourself that even if you can’t fully be little now, you’ll have time for it later.

💖 Remember: It’s okay to feel little anywhere! These small, subtle tricks can help keep you happy, safe, and comfortable no matter where you are. You don’t have to show anyone your littlespace unless you want to.

Your little self is valid, loved, and adorable. 🌸✨

[anamelessfool]

A Naming

Rated Teen, Papa Emeritus II’s Son and Family

Tags: Halloween Hijinks, Eldest Kid Anxiety, Suburban Dad Secondo, Disabled Secondo, Post-Retirement Life, Magic Rituals, My AU

CW: Underage Drinking

Dedicated to @kissingghouls thanks for cheering me on you’re my little Hell Pumpkin🎃 I’m on AO3 with all my other fics but Tumblr gets mad at me when I post links

Part One (of 5)

Oct 31, 2017

The Leider residence was the only one on the cheery suburban block that was bare of decoration. The house year round was neat, sensible; a single floor ranch with the occasional hearse out front. Neighbors thought the lack of decoration, especially during Halloween, was a choice made out of propriety. One would hope the family responsible for interring your loved ones would have a sober outlook on the macabre. Their entire modus seemed to be one of complete disregard for any happenings outside their own home. Unavailable, discreet, out of the way. A little fortress meant only for its occupants.

And in a way, it was. Its unassuming nature was by design. The patriarch of the house, known to his neighbors as Michael Leider, was a severe man in appearance and temper. His entire family was full of noise and cheer and life but he himself preferred to stay out of the way. The only completely peculiar thing about him was each morning just after sunrise he’d step out onto his back concrete patio and scowl at the sky. A journal would come out, he’d scrawl a few lines, and then return to his kitchen to make that morning’s coffee.

What his neighbors didn’t know was that the man had journaled daily about the weather for fifteen thousand one hundred and seventy-eight days so far, give or take a few due to illness or inconvenience. It wasn’t that neighbors didn’t know, it was more what they have not seen. Or were allowed to see. Mr. Leider’s life was carefully constructed, like the life of any true magician. He had been once the hub of arcane power as Papa Emeritus II, known as Secondo; master magician and the spiritual leader of the Satanic Church of the Void. The Void itself was closer to a true hell than any suburbanite could ever comprehend, but it had been a large part of most of his previous life. For over forty years Secondo had balanced this world and beyond this world. Spirits called to him, demons obeyed his commands. Now all that was left was the old practicum of documenting the weather, but this ordinariness was his choice.

Because a seasoned magician knows of the dangers of attracting attention.

“Yesterday…” Eden Leider’s eyes got wide. The half-nibbled pizza was abandoned on her plate as the eight year old regaled a tale slowly and with great reverence. “Yesterday…there was a kid…at my school…at recess…”

She was surrounded by her family, as always, in the kitchen strewn with handmade Halloween art projects. She had hurried home with her younger brother Sam from the bus and immediately wanted to try on her costume, only to be met with the torture of having to eat before she went out tonight. Pizza AND the green beans. If she was going to be doused in sugar later that night then at least some half-attempt at healthy food was a requirement. Her father Secondo had insisted on it.

“Oh I saw this!” hissed her younger brother Sam. “I saw this!”

“No you didn't you were in gym,” snapped Eden.

“No I saw, I saw the ambulance!”

“He fell…and his arm? His arm was like this!” Eden held out her arm crooked, a primal little grin stretching across her face. “There was his bone sticking out.”

“Bone sticking out?” Their mother Sandra lowered her pizza slice, her eyes wide in amused interest. There was nothing more she enjoyed than encouraging her younger children’s odd sense of wonder. It was like watching kittens attempt to navigate themselves out of a paper bag.

“His bone! Was sticking! Out!” shouted Sam.

The eldest brother Paul let out a too aggressive sigh, subtly glancing down at his phone on his lap. There was another message. He disguised his gasp as a cough.

Dana: u coming

Paul L: trying

Paul nervously cycled through his apps, arriving at Dana’s photo again. A perfect face, a winning smile adorned a photo of her in a theatrical costume. Below, her favorite quote that Paul recently decided was evidence of her profound understanding of reality: Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world! Let your soul take you where you long to be!

I will, Paul always thought.

His father didn’t even have to make a noise for Paul to know he was watching him. Paul looked up and met the Eye embedded in his father Secondo’s skull, white and shark-like. It was usually concealed behind a colored lens but still burned through all the same. Paul was not normally afraid of it, but in this circumstance he swore it could read his mind. It was something that existed beyond his father, an interloper perched on the man’s broad shoulder. The human eye beside it had its normal expression of cool assessment. While his father’s left eye expressed an understanding of the beyond, the rest of the body was that of an intelligent stoic. Someone not interested in seeing their son look at their phone at the dinner table. Paul smiled thinly back.

“We can't even have a jack-o'-lantern?” Eden’s whines came into focus once more. “Not even one?”

“I'm not encouraging anything or anyone to enter this house,” Secondo reminded her stiffly, releasing Paul from his gaze. “Our home is our domain and I keep it well tended.”

Secondo, known in the past as Papa Emeritus II and leader of the Satanic Church of the Void, had always been a serious man. Serious, but never humorless. His wife Sandra has gifted him a bright orange shirt that said “This is My Halloween Costume” and he wore it now as he cut his pizza slice with the grace of some sort of aristocrat. His younger children had dumped tribute drawings around him: scrawled images of him as a skeleton man surrounded by assortments of demons and pools of blood. Eden idolized him, and his youngest idolized his sister and so the two of them had become his most loyal cultists whether he liked it or not.

Paul took the chance to answer Dana back.

Paul L: my dad is

Dana: yeah

ill ask

Dana:🙂

“If you’ll excuse me,” Secondo muttered with a regal bow of his head. He unhooked his forearm crutch from the back of his chair and maneuvered himself to his feet, politely grabbing empty dishes to deliver them delicately to the sink as he left the kitchen.

Paul turned quickly to his mother. “There’s a party tonight and…”

Sandra smiled wryly. “I’m always happy when you want to be social. But your dad will have to drive you.”

Right. Secondo had retired to his study for an hour before taking the younger kids out. In Paul’s experience of suburban fathers, there was a seasonal quality to all of their domestic obsessions. Some dads fretted over lawns, or snowfall, or their collection of vehicles in various states of disrepair. Secondo’s special interest at this time of year was obscure arcane protections. Paul had never once experienced any sort of supernatural event in their home, but as he grew up he suddenly became responsible for helping his father with his weird chores. Burying recycled jars filled with nails and rat bones. Standing on ladders to hand specifically colored yarns around the outside perimeter of the house while Secondo commented on ideal placement. Collecting perfectly good specimens of mullein or rue from the side of the road with the shovel Secondo always kept in the backseat of the truck. In his mind’s eye Paul wondered what strangers thought of the impromptu highway gardening, or the digging, or all the rock arrangement. Maybe they assumed the teen was enduring some old time tough love father-son punishment.

Honestly that would be far less embarrassing.

Paul found Secondo in his office. The room was dimly lit, with scarves draped across the computer and all of his work things. There were more books and journals than wall space, and so some were stacked neatly in piles besides the shelves that went right to the ceiling. Said ceiling was stained with areas of candle soot, the walls doubly so. Secondo stood in the far corner of the room, the doors to an old TV hutch open to reveal the magical seat of his home: his altar place.

“Dad, can I go out tonight?”

Paul saw the familiar diagrams and charts taped on the inside walls, along with some twig and twine poppets right out of a horror film. Deeper into the hutch lay even more oddities: deer jawbones, rocks of Significance. Some desiccated bundles of herbs. A mason jar of old buttons.

Secondo was whispering something into a waterclear crystal skull. He lowered it and stared into Paul, the white Infernal Eye settling in to regard the teen like an old crow. “Hm?”

“Yeah uh…a party. It’s everyone from theater club. Tonight.”

“Parents will be there?”

Shit. Paul wrung his hands. “Uh…I think so?”

Secondo let out a puff of air through his nose, a wordless sign of him mulling over facts. He didn’t speak much, but his elegant movements and subtle expressions spoke more than any words could. He gently replaced the skull on his altar and closed the doors, tying a red ribbon across the knobs. Paul waited with bated breath.

“All your homework done?”

“Yes.”

“Are you certain?”

“I—” The two little ones bounded into the office. Sam launched himself at his brother’s knees and squeezed.

“Put our facepaint on, Paul!” said his sister.

“Yes, please,” Sam added. Paul looked up to meet his father’s eyes once again.

Secondo was smiling.

“What did Daddy’s face look like? I want it to look like that,” Eden insisted. In the bathroom Paul applied the white makeup to the entirety of her face while she frowned and got into character.

“I dunno, some kinda…skull or something.” Paul was deeply indifferent to their father’s past life. He didn't remember the pageantry, or the tours he was dragged on as a young child. He barely understood nor cared that his father was someone who wandered the space between two worlds, who channeled dark powers through his body, who captivated thousands with twisted tales of death and demons.

All Paul really remembered was seeing his father decline. He saw his father have days of extreme pain he chose to conceal, watched his mother help her husband as good as any nurse or wife could. As the Void wracked his body Secondo couldn't do much anymore. Couldn't play with Paul or carry him or do anything more than preserve himself for when he was on stage. So Paul was indifferent to Papa Emeritus II. In some way his earliest thoughts were of happiness now that his father could be around.

And they could finally all be somewhat normal.

Paul darked the hollows of her eyes with black face paint and added long lines across her mouth to simulate snagged teeth. He recalled the exaggerated lines across the jaw. Satisfied, he turned his sister around to show her in the mirror. She nearly jumped out of her skin the moment she saw the face that was no longer hers. But then she laughed wickedly.

“Oh I want to be a skull now!” crowed Sam, tugging at Paul’s clothes. “Make me a skull face!”

“No you're not allowed,” Eden said. “Pumpkin Skull? I'm the skull. Paul tell him I'm the skull!”

“Wouldn't make sense on you, Sammy,” Paul explained. “I'll give you a jack-o'-lantern face.”

“Yeah okay but make it scary,” Sam muttered.

Eden had worked for days on her costume. It was of course an homage to the towering glory of her father’s previous life, in miniature form. She had fashioned a cereal box into a decent miter. Secondo had coaxed her out of applying true upsidedown crucifixes to her outfit, and so wrathful skull heads scowled down the pillowcase chasuble and bats adorned the miter. “I'm a…Hell Priest.”

“She made it herself.” Sandra shrugged. “Turn around, honey, you're the cutest little hell priest I've ever seen since your father.”

Sam extended his little arms and wiggled his fingers, grinning. “And I'm a…Hell. Pumpkin.”

“My adorable little freaks,” said Sandra of her children, nudging Secondo next to her on the couch. Secondo had his usual severe frown as he watched the little ones scurry around the carpet and howl. Sandra addressed Paul. “And you're wearing that? To a Halloween party?”

Paul looked down at his jeans and band tee, old ratty hoodie and sneakers. “Halloween’s for kids, mom.”

“At least the shirt’s clean,” said Secondo.

“You two are really boring, you know that?” Sandra ribbed over the rim of her coffee mug. “But have fun? Extra fun for me.” Out of all of them she loved Halloween the most. It was a love of the macabre that drove her to join a Satanic Church, after all. Sandra held the work phone for the memorial home in her hand as her family got ready to leave for the night. She had selflessly volunteered to be on call so her brothers and husband could bring all their kids around the neighborhood. Then again, watching the goriest horror films at home without the prying eyes of her children was a decent consolation prize.

Sandra caught her youngest in her arms and brought his little body into a hug. “You know, you can die… but no one really stays dead on Halloween.” She immediately pretended to bite him all over, and Sam screamed and laughed.

“You're deeply unprofessional, dear,” muttered Secondo, yet a small rare smile hovered across his face. He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and pulled himself to his feet. “Let’s go. Paul, help me get your siblings in the car.” The younger ones let out shrill shrieks and jumped towards the door, grabbing their candy pails while already whining.

Sandra gave a soft chuckle, then reached out to gently touch her eldest son's hand. “Paul, have fun alright? You need it.”

Paul smiled faintly and returned her affection with a hug. “I’ll be fine. Thanks. I hope you…don't have to work tonight.”

“Same,” replied his mother. “But you got to take everything as it comes, right? Be always ready.”

“Paul,” said Secondo.

“Hm?” Paul had been staring out the window as they drove across town. Behind them in the backseat the younger kids were chatting wildly about all the candy they were going to eat later. By this time in his life Paul was used to drowning it out. Ever since Sam could talk, Paul finally got a break and Eden got a perfect little peon to hang on to her every word.

Secondo had both hands on the wheel as he drove sensibly. He never looked up from his task but he never had to do more than slight gestures or certain tones of his voice for Paul to know what came next. “Name it,” he said.

Secondo was talking about the feelings rolling around in Paul’s insides. From a young age this was a common ritual he shared with all of his children. Paul realized more and more that Secondo now didn’t demand a vocal response to this request anymore the way he did of the younger ones. After years of this, Paul had an automatic cool response to any sort of restlessness in his mind.

Paul let out a soft breath, imagining himself holding the feeling in his hands, like always. It felt prickly, hot. Torn right from his chest and squirming like an impatient puppy. So he looked down and named it. Apprehension. Worry.

The little feeling stopped jostling him. But there was something else tugging at him, gripping its sharp little teeth into his pant leg and pulling. Dana’s picture on his phone came to mind. He swallowed.

Crush.

The truck stopped, Secondo put it in park. High school kids idled out on the front porch of a large house cheerfully decorated with pumpkins and the warm glow of string lights. The little demons of feeling that tugged at him skittered away to wait in the shadows. Paul gave a weak goodbye utterance to his family and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Secondo spoke. “And Paul.”

“Yeah?”

The intensity of the whitened eye in his father’s skull never ceased, even when freed for an instant as he blinked. “You are a person of integrity.”

Paul gave a half-hearted nod, slamming the door. He watched the red lights of the truck veer slowly away and occasionally stop to avoid throngs of trick-or-treaters. Now before the house, before this strange new world, his nerves began to circle.

Like it? Reblog it! Thanks so much, see you in Part 2…..

Next chapter link in comments!