#disconnected rant

[disconnected-from-the-world]

Imagine my pain when my achievement hunter ass checks how many percent I have of achievements and my calculator shows 31%.

THIRTY ONE PERCENT!

I'm planning to get to 50% before the year ends, but I dread the finale of LFOS, DALS, LSE, HHW. All of them have barely any achievments right now, which is kinda scary. LFOS and HHW will be easy to get 100% and surprisingly I kinda like them although they are not my cup of tea. I'm nearly finished with the chapters that are available, but I have to replay LFOS as I started that book way before the achievements came. It's gonna be fun and cute. Best to replay it when uni starts and I will need something for just entertainment, since there is no heavy drama, gory murders or convoluted plot.

DALS and LSE on the other hand... They're giving me a fucking migraine. I lost all interest in DALS and it's already a chore to go through it for just Noe, if they go with catch all pokemons in this story to get one achievment like in HS2 or SOS I'm gonna throw my phone at a wall. It wouldn't be so hard if the plot still made sense and there was no hiatus, and Sandra wasn't so sidelined of course. I understand that Veronica has her problems, but it feels like a joke now. The book started when I was in highschool and in October I'm starting my final year of my BA. The thought that I may start doing my MA and DALS is still not finished is terrifying. And mind you, I loved DALS when it came out. I'm a big fan of Ottoman Empire history and vampires. So it was my fav before s2 ended.

And LSE, I love it, genuinely love it. But Tepish what the fuck is that number of possible endings? Don't think that I'm not happy about it but oh my how many replays do we have to do to see at least 10% of them. If that one redditor is right and it's like 190 something endings than RC better not fuck with silly people like me that need to get all the achievments by making one achievment something like see all the possible endings. I would still do it cause I'm a dumbass but still...

Even making catch all pokemons achievement here would be terrifying. 7 love interest with ending if we not count the vampires (since they already have an achievement).

But yeah, all bad thoughts go away since Paradox will get his own ending. I'm gonna do an RC circle. From destroying his plans in my first (and favourite) RC story to romancing him many books later.

Sorry for that world salad, gotta love RC for all that feelings it creates and many amazing stories.

Please RC more monster LIs 🙏

[theribbajack]

"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."

Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn

[toxiccaves]

I think what a lot of tumblr-only people are missing about twitter failing, is that it was always a better website when it came to small businesses, instant world event news, fact checking, having users from all over the world, being a source for disaster relief information or warnings, and anything else to keep people up to date with going ons.

Sure, tumblr has many users from all over, but the website is still largely english biased and not nearly as widespread as twitter. I know a lot of news and knowledge comes in on here too. I've learned a lot and see a lot of donation posts in regards to world events, but its nothing like twitter unless you know who to follow. Not to mention, half the news I got here, was days later and from twitter to begin with.

Seeing that being taken away in favor of hate speech and enabling abusers (with the recent potential of getting rid of the block feature over there) and pushing blue user comments to the top (aka elon's weird fans), drowning out anyone else on popular posts, sucks! It sucks for the world and small businesses. because there's really no alternative to it right now.

The site's running rampant with spam and scammers and its becoming more and more unusable by the day. And some people think it's silly to be upset over it or "you shouldn't have all your eggs in one basket" well there only is one basket! This is literally people's livelihoods people seem to be making fun of anytime a change happens that breaks the site and people post all their socials.

And everyone from every country is talking about different websites they're considering, and its splitting up our connection to the world. And surely he knew who this was hurting with every decision.

[ganondoodle]

just saw more on twitter about the stupid book and apparently theres a "timeline update" and supposedly hylia made the stupid magic pebbles

yeah sure, say whatever you want, theres no saving this shit anymore, lore down the drain yeehaaawww

one of my biggest fears before totk came out was that it would screw not only botw lore up but also mess with existing lore, and i hate to be right on that part, id much prefer if theyd leave whatever shit they invent as being something new and not something that has "totally always existed", they clearly dont care about lore consistency, why do they keep trying to connect things afterwards anyway

....... if im being honest, i was surprised but glad that the game didnt actually end up killing my passion for the franchise even if it made me struggle for a good while

but

the stupid book might. and im being serious.

i really just want to throw everything zelda related i ever made or bought away right now, it will only get worse from here and the sooner i can stop caring the better

"that sounds unhealthy" oh you dont say?? i am mentally ill, in fact, the passion that an obsession like that brings with it can turn into some really ugly distress, i am aware of it, i do fucking wish i could just stop caring about lore and timelines and find something else, but i cant, thats not how this works, just bc i am aware of how stupid this is doesnt mean i can change anything about it, i feel what i feel

[lights-at-night]

i might be shot but tbh i think fiction podcasts have an issue with racial representation

[stellocchia]

I've talked about this already in a reblog [LINK] but I do find it fascinating how every time, without a fail, when cTommy would start getting close to someone they would immediately register as a threat to cDream.

cWilbur is the most obvious one. He was cTommy's big brother, his protector, the person he arguably loved and relied on the most. And cDream was very very obviously jealous of said fact. And he'd been jealous from the beginning. And he tried to weasel his way into the big brother role from all the way back in og L'Manburg.

I will never get over the fact that he only ever tried to change cTommy's mind on even being in L'Manburg [LINK because this is fucking funny]. And then later in Pogtopia that he left a special gift basket which included his treasured crossbow as well as the book Tyrant and a bunch of other stuff to cTommy when he only gave Techno (Pogtopia's most skilled fighter) one single either gold or god apple. The fact that, despite saying he would help from the shadows only, he still very much fought the pet wars by cTommy's side. Or that, after confession he was actually on cSchlatt's side and being against cTommy going to retrieve his stuff from his old house in public, he still allowed him in private. And then spent the whole pre-war hanging with cTommy.

He was always trying to get in cTommy's good graces. To sorta take him from under cWilbur's nose. And it didn't work because cTommy has always been about as loyal as you can get, so he went with the best possible alternative and encouraged cWilbur's self-destructive behaviors until he did the job for him. And then he just never brought him back until he was certain that he was no longer a threat to his big brother role [LINK to Tommy literally saying that cWilbur was worse than cDream].

But cWilbur was so SO far from being the only threat to cDream's fragile attachment. And, in fact, I would argue he wasn't even the biggest threat in cDream's mind.

After all, cDream never put that much effort into getting rid of cWilbur. Partially because cWilbur was already spiraling and distancing himself from cTommy, but I also think that he just didn't respect him all that much as a rival. Though that's mostly speculation.

No, the biggest threat was always cTubbo. The best buddy, best friends forever. There is a reason why during exile, while the role he was trying to cover was more akin to cWilbur's role in cTommy's life, his wording wasn't. He never used the term "brothers" always "best friends".

There is a reason why he went through the trouble of utterly destroying cClingy relationship far more than he ever did for cCrime, by framing cTommy, by demanding harsher punishments at the trial, by taunting cTommy and escalating the situation over and over again. And then still by discouraging cTubbo from visiting and by lying to cTommy about cTubbo just discarding his 'my Tommy' compass. And then, when none of that worked, he went for the ultimate betrayal, because he knew it would hurt cTommy immensely if cTubbo gave up the disc he'd been given as an ultimate act of trust, and he knew that he could break cTubbo's trust in cTommy even more. And when EVEN THAT didn't work he straight-up went for murdering cTubbo because my man was fed up (at least if we assume that the staged finale didn't completely go according to plan, but if I go on a rant about how UTTERLY MORONIC the staged finale was here I'll never stop).

cTubbo was always cDream's biggest enemy, and it really goes to show how single-minded he was as a villain that cTubbo being his nemesis wasn't even about cTubbo.

Next level obsession there.

Of course, the two of them weren't the only threats, just the biggest. Bud cDream didn't stop at them. He tried to kill Ghostbur during exile just because his constant presence was too much of a comfort to cTommy and later on actually killed him to revive the version of cWilbur cTommy seemingly hated. He took two of MD's lives because he not only was willing to move in with cTommy, but also wasn't afraid to call cDream out on his bullshit which, if you rewatch that stream, seemed to really bother cDream. Also the fact that cTommy, as soon as he was offered an alternative to follow MD's orders and rules instead of cDream's took it with pretty much no hesitation probably didn't help cDream's dislike of MD. He also never revived cRanboo, and it is very possible that it's because he knew that he and cTommy were friends.

Murders aside, he also sabotaged cTommy's and cRanboo's communication more than once when he realized they were getting close. Which shows that he ether considered cRanboo only a minor threat or simply still useful, because had anyone else visited that much they would be dead.

He also immediately threatened to hurt cPhil when cTommy started relying on him post-prison break. And let's not forget that time cLazar was literally only going to visit with a present and cDream considered it such a big threat that he made cLazar take part in abusing cTommy so thoroughly that cTommy was sure not to want anything to do with him in the future. (also, kind of an interesting coincidence that cLazar was one of the unlucky two selected to be slaughtered for the sake of science...).

Every time cTommy has gotten especially close to anyone, cDream was always there, ready to intervene, ready to deal with the threat as swiftly as possible. Because ANYONE would have been a better choice for cTommy and he knew it. And he acted accordingly.

Curiously, the only one he never took action against was cTechno, though I do wonder if that was just because of how obviously doomed cBedrock bros were from the very start. cDream does know the extent of cTommy's loyalty very VERY well after all...

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

just loveeeee when the Co-op room disbands when the song i picked is chosen. like. okay. i'll just go fuck myself shall i

[habeascorpseus]

hi guys im a little bit deranged about q!wilbur. like you dont understand. hes so different. he's genuinely so different from every character wilburs played in the last 3 years ok.

wilburs got a penchant for playing characters as:

1) a con artist,

2) a pathetic sadboy,

or 3) a combination of those traits

but q!wilbur is so different. for one, hes altruistic, most of his actions on the server are for the sake of community rather than his own ego. not only that, but hes honest, too. sure he plays the occasional prank but he doesnt lie or obscure his feelings from his peers. when he and fit found tallulah, he told him straight up that he felt compassion for her but feared the responsibility of fatherhood because he knew his capability to let people down. when she disappeared he freaked out about missing his chance but continued to search for her regardless, even playing a song to lure her out of hiding. unlike 80% of the characters wilbur chooses to play, lying to himself and others wasnt even an option.

by contrast, dsmp!wilbur was too naive and postured his way through his life, always fearing someone would see through the cracks and call him out for what he truly is. and his fear and passiveness put people in harms way a lot. in fact, you could say it's the main reason that other characters disliked him. his ego and fear of his act failing led directly and indirectly to their pain. he was a real man trapped in a story and decided to act the part. q! Wilbur, on the other hand, is just a guy who wants to remain nothing more than that. and yet, hes not jaded, like rust!wilbur, nor is he a fool, like d!wilbur. when told by phil about how he would learn to feel more protective of tallulah after seeing all the dangers of their world, he responded with,

"hey man. hey man. phil? when I've seen the dangers of this world- which im sure i will, in due time- I'll be the one picking up the sword, not tallulah, don't worry."

both acknowledging that his perception of the world was flawed while also promising to adapt and get his hands dirty when the world bares it's fangs at them!! which is just so absolutely refreshing after every character hes made for the past 2 years' central character trait was hiding! sure, the story beats are the same- a man joins a server and starts a community, has it destroyed, and remains pacifistic throughout, but his reaction to it is entirely different. for once, the loss is incidental to the narrative. he doesnt like spreen, but he can move forward. for once, he promises to fight rather than fleeing his fears and hoping they dont kick his ass.

and if you're like, "why does this matter," the last time he even played a character close to this was smp earth! its so rare to see him just playing A Guy that i genuinely couldn't guess where his character arc might go! with almost every other character wilbur plays, you can track a narrative. guy wants to be more than what he is, is confronted by the world, and lets his fear ruin him. q!wilbur's narrative is on another train entirely. sayonara to cowardice, hello getting shit done!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me desperately trying to outrun my writer’s block for the fiftieth time this week

[autisticlee]

I have realized I need more friends, especially a specific type of friend (chill, positive, very nice and gentle, shares interest in my interests, etc) so I've been putting a lot of time and effort and energy into trying to make a new friend, but I don't think it's working D: I genuinely don't know how to do it. I used to ask people if we can be friends but learned thats not correct and even got called creepy for it before...so i'm just exhausting myself for no reason because nothing is being reciprocated the way I want or need it to be.

i'm trying to learn about the person and tailoring my scripts to match them and what they seem to like about people they are friends with. but so far i'm not getting much reaction outside of general kind acknowledgment that all random strangers get. i'm trying so hard not to ramble or rant about anything or be "too negative" like i've been called many times for simply stating a related/relatable fact about myself. i'm trying to ask questions more questions like ive been told to do. i'm saying nice and positive things whenever I get the chance like i always do. i'm doing all the things people have advised me to do when ive asked advice, but it still feels like i'm looking through a window and not allowed to walk through the door! but see everyone else getting invited inside. I genuinely don't know what to do and how to make it better 🥲

when I look back in the past and how I made friends or starter talking to people, it always came from trauma bonding....often it would start from or be carried along by a shared interest, but one of the dominating factors was always trauma bonding and ramling and ranting at each other about the trauma we have gone through that relates to each other. I felt like I needed it at the time and felt like it helped, but now i've reached a point where it's too exhausting to go through repeated exposure to trauma stories and reexperiencing ny own traumas. plus it usually ends in failure and me adding more trauma to my plate because they have issues and lash them out at me, or decide they are upset that I have my own issues they trigger, and I do not want to do that anymore.

I don't want to befriend people through or to trauma bond. I don't want to befriend people who only want to talk about negative things or people who bring out those things in me. I want some positive and chill and fun friends. but I genuinely do not know how else to make friends. I don't know how to do it right. I don't know how to talk to people correctly. I don't know how to do any of this without trauma dumping/ l listening to trauma dumping and using that as the gateway to form friendships.

I don't know how to have friends that don't share same interests either, but I have realized that's only part of it. that part is fine I think. maybe that's the normal part. (it's my autistic intensity that's the "not normal" part and losing friends as soon as one of us loses that interest) but how do I befriend someone positively off of similar interests only, and not drop my dark lore or avoid letting them drop their dark lore and using that as the bridge? I simply can't figure out how to connect with people in any other way than the whole "I understand what you're going through/you're not alone/I'm here for you/this is a safe space you can come to" thing I tried building up my whole life. but that's only been exhausting and leads to dead ends.

I don't know how to form strong and positive connections with other humans, despite following every tutorial and advice I could find. I even tried heavily masking and learned I'm just no good at it, and I can't figure out if i've acted myself out of a personality, or if it's just a dissociative disorder causing me to have like 20 different ones (working with therapist now who is evaluating me for osdd/did because she says my dissociative levels are concerning. and honestly i feel like part if not all of it is due to my negative people experiences....so i really need positive ones!) i've been trying to keep all my rambles and rants and negative thoughts and feelings to this blog only. i'm not here on this blog to make friends. this is purely for me and myself and I. if anyone relates they are welcome to reply/comment or send an ask and share, but i'm not going to pursue a friendship over it.

I only want to accept positive and chill and fun friendships over my special interests and smaller interests (I have a whole other blog for just those) BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT. NOTHING ANYONE TELLS ME WORKS. i'm trying so hard to bond over interests with people but just cannot form any connections no matter how hard I try. it remains me being the only one to ever reach out and give (time/energy/attention/etc) while they can easily have 4747373 other friends and people they enjoy and care about and talk to and hang out with. so I don't think it's them. it has to be me. (I've had people saying it's not me, it's the people I try to talk to and I need to find other people. or even "the right people" but i'm not told how to do that or what it means. and i've spent years flipping through people like clothes on a rack and it's so tiring!!!!!)

don't know know what to do or how to do it, but need human interaction and genuine strong connection and can't force self stop craving that 😭😭😭😭😭

[bobfloydsbabe]

I’m taking a short break from tumblr. I need some time off the internet and some breathing room while I get my head sorted.

[luvvyd0vey]

The way I look is not me.

The way I look sure influences the way others perceive me which may or may not influence my perception of myself, correctly or incorrectly, but the way I look when I see myself in the mirror is not the way I see myself.

I am my interests, my Pinterest boards, my prized projects and possessions, and most of all my hands, the only part of myself which I really perceive as me - which helps create the projects made of me and the art made of me and the actions I myself preform.

When I look in a mirror, I do not see me, it's not that I dislike what I see, it's pleasant enough, but it just isn't me. It's jarring in a way to not see myself the way I perceive myself to be, especially when I am hit with the realisation that my appearance in the mirror is all others see of me, for the most part.

To look in the mirror and not recognise myself often leaves me rather lost.

[pardonmydelays]

unpopular opinion but i really miss those days when it was all about the music in taylor swift fandom

[ottosbigtop]

It is so hard to enjoy funny Minecraft YouTubers and want to look at fanart when i have to sift through pages and pages of people drawing these real irl people kissing

[noroalia]

peepaw 2.0

[sleepy-vix]

i wish i knew someone who liked reading as i do