#dirk gentlys holistic detective agency x reader

[lesbian-deadpool]

Y/N: Did I make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: Did I only make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: But did it work out? Kind of!

[imagine-nation20]

Easy Isn't Worth It

Summary: With the new case getting exceedingly more dangerous, Dirk tries harder and harder to keep the reader out of it.

Request: By an anon and @lulu-102

lulu-102: Can you do a Dirk Gently oneshot where Dirk and the reader are dating and hes scared because she got hurt because of the case he was working on? (season 2 is where i thought up this idea)

Anon: HEYO ITS THE EXCITED DIRK GENTLY ANON so I decided to request some stuff so so I’m watching ep 6 of s2 and wowie is Dirk stressed out so can you do a thing where reader pulls him away and just like. Calms him down. Like. He deserves a bit of calm. Thanks!!

A/N: I combined these two since I thought they would fit well together, hope you don’t mind! Also, I felt that I should warn of panic attacks and violent descriptions. I AM ALSO SO SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN AWAY SO LONG.

~~~

This case was a weird one to say the least. People in trees, people in cars in trees, and alternate dimensions. The guy with pink hair and the crazy woman with a magic wand were seeming less and less worrisome with all these new problems. 

You wondered, if this was all effecting you this badly, what was it doing to Dirk? Sure, he had dealt with the last case pretty well, but that was before Blackwing had locked him up. You couldn’t imagine how much it had messed with him, and this case was just adding to the already towering pile of stress.

It all finally came to a halt when you got hurt. To be honest, you had suspected this would happen. Dirk had been a bit unstable, and frankly terrified, recently. He had even previously blew up at Todd, stating that the case was over and that no magic dimension existed.

He had snapped at you, saying that you weren’t fit to solve the case, that you were simply in the way, and that you should go back home and let them solve it alone. You knew he didn’t really mean what he said, yet it still stung like lemon juice in a wound, and left you feeling a bit empty. You knew that if you stayed in a room with him, you would get just as angry and retaliate, so you walked out of the police station. Tina asked you what was wrong as you stormed past her, but you ignored her question and continued out of the building.

The air was hot, yet somehow refreshing. The sun beat down on your skin, warming you up. As you looked up to the bright blue sky, you hear the door to the station open.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Tina.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes. 

“I don’t think my name is Tina, but... if you would like to try and guess again...” Dirk spoke softly, his tone painfully light. You turned your head slightly to look at his tall figure, still simmering a bit from the argument that took place moments before.

“No, I think I’m good. Apparently, I am a crap detective.”

“I never said that, I simply stated that this case was no longer safe, and I didn’t want you to get hurt while trying to solve it so you should just go and stay at a nice hotel far, far, far away from here.” He stated, looking at you, but your focus was pinned to a tall evergreen on the other side of the road, not wanting to look him in the eye. If you did, you would no longer be able to be mad, and the anger you felt would melt away.

“But you managed to say it in the most dickish way possible. Your skills are really truly astounding Dirk Gently.” It was silent after that, and he seemed to soak in your words. You snuck a glance at him, risking meeting his gaze due to curiosity. Unfortunately, that is precisely what happened. The minute you locked gazes, you say the worry, the hurt, and all the misery. Dirk really was bad at hiding what he was feeling.

“Hey, look, I understand you were worried. I get that, I really do, Dirk. It’s just...I can handle it. I’m not just going to up and leave all of you because a case gets a bit dangerous. We were dealing with crossbow-wielding minions and time travel when we met. A little dimensional civil war isn’t going to stop me from helping you,” You placed a hand on his cheek, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “You matter to me just as much as I matter to you. I love you and if you want me to not help on this case, well then you’ll have to drag me away kicking and screaming.”

His mouth hung open, his eyes wide. It was silent for a moment, the air around you completely still. His hands suddenly cradled your face, his eyes shining and mouth curling into an elated smile.

“Have I ever mentioned how much a love you, because it is a pretty big amount. I’d say even more than Todd loves Farrah, and we all know that is a lot.” You smiled at his rambling, studying his face, because with Dirk was right, no matter how much you told him not to worry. This case was getting more and more dangerous, and this may very well be the last time you see him.

~~~

Sorry if Dirk is out of character. I haven’t watched the show since it ended, so I am a bit rusty on his character.

[luna-helps-writing]

Elrond, talking about Thorin: Do you know him?

Y/N:

Thorin: >:(

Y/N: That homicidal dirt muppet and I have never crossed paths before

[multifandomwritings]

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | Celebrating your birthday with Dirk would include:

- You'd almost think he forgot your birthday at first. He'd want to surprise you, but his timing would be bad and he'd start to risk upsetting you by seemingly forgetting

- He would want to go all out for your birthday of course, but he's so scatterbrained and would have a hard time planning and making it as special as he wanted to

-...Which would lead to him pouting and needing reassurance throughout the day when it seemed everything continuously went wrong. It wouldn't stop him from trying, though!

- Even if you preferred a more quiet celebration, he'd still go all out just among yourselves. Would attempt to surprise you with cake, balloons, etc. (all while wearing a party hat, of course)

- He'd be so proud of himself, having gotten what he thought was your favorite type of cake and snacks, though he'd probably get it all wrong. He'd be so smiley and pleased with himself that you wouldn't have the heart to say otherwise (and if you did, he'd be crushed lol)

- Whatever you wanted to do, he'd enthusiastically go along with. Even something simple like staying in and watching your favorite movies together could end up being chaotic and extra with him though

- He makes up for all the chaoticness with a really sweet, thoughtful gift. He'd give it to you while chattering along, seemingly not really noticing how thoughtful a gift it was (something really specific to you, or something you mentioned ages ago) but carefully eyeing you as you opened it, nervous that you wouldn't like it. Would melt in relief when you did, smile widening at your reaction

[twisted-broth]

So I recently watched dirk gently for the first time, and I really love the rowdy 3, Martin in particular. Can you maybe do a Martin x reader?

Aaaaahhh how did you find out about my undying love for Martin?? Tbh I wrote that one fic for myself I didn’t think anyone would ever read it. Okay I don’t ~technically~ write for Dirk Gently but I’ll write it anyway because I’ve sold my soul to the rowdy 3

Waking up in a beat up van, surrounded by four intimidating men? Yep, this was how you were going to die. 

“Ha! I told you they weren’t dead!” The smallest of the four grabbed $10, presumably bet money, off the dash. “What’s up, bro? I’m Vogel.”

“Hi…” You said hesitantly. 

Vogel introduced the rest of the men surrounding you as Gripps, Cross (the one who lost the bet) and Martin. Martin seemed to be the least personable of the group. As soon as he was sure you were awake and unhurt, he fixated himself in the driver's seat without saying a word.

“So, why am I in your sketchy van, Vogel?”

“You were in the road, boss. We almost ran you over! Martin’s the one who made us take you in. Make sure you were okay or whatever.” Vogel explained. 

“You got a nasty bump on your head, so you probably got a concussion. And your legs was all cut up from the gravel. We ain’t doctors, though, so we just slapped some band aids on there.” Gripps continued. 

You shakily managed to sit up against the side of the van, which you only just noticed was moving. It wasn’t a situation you were hoping to find yourself in today but, considering you could have been roadkill if it weren’t for these guys, you decided it was probably not the worst thing to happen. You groaned as you rubbed the bump on your head. You had no idea where you got it. Last thing you remember was walking to the library. 

“You want some advil, dog?” Cross asked. 

You gently nodded your head, careful not to disturb the aching that was already there. Cross handed you a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of water. You quickly downed them and then took a moment to look around the van. It was barren except for four metal bats rolling around in the back. You also saw a small bag that held first aid supplies. 

“Do you… have any food?” You asked cautiously. The baseball bats brought back your nerves a bit. Your head shot to Martin when you heard him let out a soft chuckle. Cross also looked like he was holding back a laugh. “Oh my god are you gonna eat me?!”

The three boys in the back burst out laughing. You caught a glimpse of Martin smirking in the mirror. 

“No!! Chill, boss, we’re not gonna eat you! We just don’t eat like you do. We’re kinda like vampires-” Vogel started.

“What??”

“Jesus christ, Vogel. Gripps, you take the wheel. The rest of you, go away I’ll explain to them.” Martin sighed as he pulled the van over. Gripps replaced him in the driver’s seat as Vogel and Cross squished together in the front seat. You pressed further into the wall as Martin crouched down in front of you. “Look, uh… What’s your name?”

“Y/n.”

“Y/n, we’re not like you. We’re part of a… project that brings together people who are different. And all these people have a part in the interconnectedness of all things. We are holistic vampires. We feed off of energy. It’s better for us to feed off of people who are in pain, or very stressed.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’re going to see Dirk!” Gripps cheered.

“Right. That little dude is just an anxiety generator. It's great. The reason you’re still in this van, Y/n, is because everything is connected. The person who hit you over the head? Her name is Bart. She’s a holistic assassin and for whatever reason, her senses told her to knock you out and leave you in the road for us to find. Which we did.” Martin finished explaining. 

“How did she know another car wouldn’t come run me over?” You questioned.

“She didn’t.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Listen, Y/n,” he warned, “You’re gonna have to start calming down. Otherwise…” Martin leaned in to you and gently bit the tip of your ear. “You’re starting to smell really good,” he whispered in your ear. 

He pulled away from you as the van screeched to a halt and Gripps announced that we were here. Martin stood up and looked down at your bright red face. He smiled and extended a hand for you to grab. You refused to make eye contact as you grabbed his hand and hauled yourself up. The other three hopped into the back of the van to grab their bats, splitting apart you and Martin. 

“Woah, what happened, boss? You’re all red! Do you have a fever?” Vogel innocently pressed his hand to your head. 

You gingerly removed his hand from your head. “I’m fine, Vogel. Thanks, though.”

Cross flung open the back doors of the van and jumped out, followed by Gripps and Vogel. Martin leaned into the front of the van and pulled a crowbar out from under the passenger seat. He weighed it in his hands before offering it to you. 

“What’s this for?” You asked as you grabbed it.

“We’re about to have some fun, baby.”

[asteriaways]

hi yea should i start writing and posting my writing again? would anyone actually be interested in that?

[marluminae]

{soulmate au} Teacher!Dirk Gently x Student!Reader Headcanons

EN. This is based on this Soulmate AU. → how did you get that job → seriously how → he doesn’t even know himself but he’s proud to be a teacher → *understanding his soulmate is a student* ... *is in big troubles but doesn’t even care because finding his soulmate is way more important than his job* → stares suspiciously (and closely) at every student → “i really like your class mister gently and-” “so... you would say you enjoy...being around me...in class ?” “wtf you’re my teacher” “wrong one ):” → he’s taking this whole soulmate thing as seriously as a case and starts interrogating students with weird questions → when he’ll find out you’re his soulmate he’ll be so happy, maybe a little too much → he’ll start hanging out with you even if you don’t know you’re his soulmate yet, but you won’t mind that much → this whole universe thing seems strange to you at first but with time, you’re forced to admit that there’s indeed something with the universe → why should we hide, y/n, we just love each others, is it bad ? → “can you help me with this homework ?” “come on you don’t even need my hel- oh it’s a date right ?” “yeah” “o h- well, you can count on me !” FR. C’est basé sur ce Soulmate AU. → comment t’as eu le job → sérieusement comment → lui-même ne sait pas comment il l’a eu mais il en est fier → *comprend que son âme soeur est un élève* ... *risque d’avoir des ennuis, mais s’en fiche parce que trouver son âme soeur est plus important que son travail* → fixe suspicieusement (et de près) chaque élève → “j’aime vraiment vos cours monsieur gently et-” “donc...tu dirais que tu apprécies... être près de moi... en classe ?” “wtf vous êtes mon prof” “c’est pas la bonne ):” → il prend cette histoire d’âme soeurs aussi sérieusement qu’une affaire et interroge même des élèves avec des questions étranges → quand il comprendra que tu es son âme soeur il sera si heureux...peut-être un peu trop → il commencera à passer du temps avec toi même si tu ne sais pas encore que vous êtes âme soeurs, mais ça ne te dérangera pas → tout son délire sur l’univers te semble assez bizarre au début mais avec le temps, tu seras forcée d’admettre qu’il y a en effet quelque chose de spécial avec l’univers → pourquoi devrait-on se cacher, t/p, on s’aime juste, c’est mauvais ? → “vous pouvez m’aider avec ce devoir ?” “voyons tu n’as même pas besoin de mon ai- oh c’est un rendez-vous n’est-ce pas ?” “ouais” “o h- et bien, tu peux compter sur moi !” ˗ ˏ ˋ masterlist ˎˊ ˗

[deirdre-queen-blog]

[avian-kneecaps]

Hey guys, welcome to my TED talk.

The topic for today; I need more goddamn fanfic for Dirk Gently.

Please. I love him so much

LOOK AT HIM! THIS CONFUSED BEAN DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND I WANT TO GIVE IT TO HIM

There's fanfiction for dating underage teenagers with like 0 personality but not for this lovable psychic man with a British accent who's actually of legal age?? Unacceptable. Go watch the show. Go show him love.

I have low blood sugar and a heart full of love for Dirk Gently. Thank you for reading.

[lesbian-deadpool]

Tony: Do you know something?

Y/N: I don’t know anything, ever.

Y/N: It’s really quite relaxing.

[jonas-og-eyebrows-blog]

Dirk gently x reader where the reader gets pulled into one of their investigations by accident and is basically really confused and is super calm at first but after having her questions ignored a whole bunch she explodes and actually ends up solving the case in her ranting. Sorta like a side comment she makes about something she saw and it ends up being the one thing they needed to solve the case.

Dirk Gently x Gender Neutral! Reader

Sorry this is so late been super busy, also I sorry it’s a bit short

‘Guys…’ Y/N tried to interrupt Dirk rambling about another clue they had come across. As always however he never listened. As of that moment, he was staring at a coded word written on a scruffy napkin. ‘3 elt’ was all that was written, in pink gel pen funnily enough. It was the final clue, this would lead them to the trap door which, according to Dirk, would lead to the greatest treasure.

‘What does this mean?’ Dirk said putting emphasis on the ‘mean’ as Y/N rolled their eyes.

‘Look Dirk you’re-‘

‘Not now Y/N, thinking!’ At this Y/N stormed out of the cave they were in, giving Todd the torch they were holding.

‘Maybe Y/N had an idea Dirk.’

‘No ideas here Todd, just connections,’ Dirk continued to look around for any ‘connection’ to the napkin while Todd went to talk to Y/N.

Their eyes seemed slightly red, possibly from crying but they tried hard to cover that up.

‘Hug?’ Todd asked making Y/N chuckle, the light from the cave grew dimmer as Dirk went further in.

‘You know I don’t do hugs Todd.’

‘Worth a try though,’ he smiled. As they took in the fresh air, they heard a sudden crash come from the cave making them turn quickly.

‘I found the trap door!’ Dirk shouted, even though it sounded quiet from where Y/N and Todd stood. Both sighed at the same time as they began walking back.

‘He just thinks that it’s all connections, when I have a plausible idea he just shuts me down. I’m sick of it Todd.’ Y/N kicked a small stone in their way and smiled at the echo it made, though stuffy this cave was pretty. Todd just gives a sympathetic smile as they near Dirk, who is currently jumping wildly around the trap door. The door itself was a plain wooden door with simple lock, however they had no key, something Todd had to remind Dirk.

‘Well let’s just look for it, must be near. The napkin must be a clue to the whereabouts,’ Dirk gasped. After about five minutes of Dirk ignoring Y/N’s questions they sighed.

‘Oh give me strength, Dirk!’ He looked up giving Y/N an odd look. ‘That’s a B not a 3, it says ‘Belt’.’ Again Dirk gave a quizzical look making Y/N sigh for what must have been the tenth time that day. ‘The belt we found two days ago, it’s amongst the bag of collectables, it must be the key,’ they shrugged. Reluctantly Dirk took the buckle on the belt and slotted it into the keyhole, upon twisting a clicking sound was heard, making Y/N roll their eyes.

‘We did it!’ Dirk shouted whilst, again jumping around.

‘That’s it!’ Y/N cried, walking out of the cave.

‘What happened?’ Dirk asked looking at Todd, who glared back. Dirk decided to follow Y/N back outside sensing the tenseness in their footsteps. He found them sitting on a small rock outside staring at the view of the forest in the distance. The wind pushing their hair in all sorts of directions. He cautiously stepped forward, sitting next to them.

‘Lovely view,’ Dirk attempted to break the silence, only to receive silence. ‘Well done on the code figuring out,’ he awkwardly patted Y/N’s back and was met with silence again. ‘You’re a great assist-friend Y/N, I couldn’t have got to the end of this investigation without you. I don’t mean to ignore you, I just, I get excited you know about clues and stuff.’ Y/N fidgeted with a blade of grass while Dirk sighed before standing up. ‘Shall we go see what’s behind that trap door, I think Todd is getting impatient with us- er, me, impatient with me,’ correcting himself once seeing the glare from Y/N.

Y/N slowly got up and started walking back to the cave, chuckling when hearing Dirks little jog to catch up with them. ‘Do you think it’s money- ooh maybe some food I’m getting a bit peckish.’

[imagine-nation20]

Doing A Holistic

Summary: Reader wakes up covered in water in a random hotel room. When she meets a strange detective and his Assist-friend, she realizes she may have landed in the safest place, and met the people she felt had the highest chance of finding her way home.

Request: Hey! I was wondering if you could do a DGHDA fic where the reader watches the show and was transported into dirk and Todd’s dimension. And maybe ya know a little fluff *wink

Requested By: A Lovely Anon

A/N: A Dirk x reader if you squint really hard. sorry it is so short, but i will make another part if someone wants it.

~~~

Waking up in a hotel covered in water was surprisingly not the strangest thing to ever happen to you, but it ranked pretty high on the list. You had first woken when a knock sounded from the door and you jumped up in bed. You weren’t expecting anyone over, and these sheets felt surprisingly unfamiliar. Glancing around bleary-eyed, you panicked at the sight of a room that was most definitely not your’s.

The knock sounded again, this time more urgent, and you scrambled from the bed to the door. It was a hotel room, that much you could tell, but how you had gotten there was the real question. You peered out through the peephole, seeing a horrifying but familiar sight.

“Dear lord I must be dreaming...” You mumbled, staring out at the tall detective in his bright yellow leather jacket. Standing next to him was an oddly calm and normal looking Todd Brotzman. “Yep, totally dreaming. Well, might as well get this over with.”

You swung the door open, being greeted by a very cheery Dirk Gently.

“Hi...!” he said, mirroring the way he had when he first met Todd. “I’m-”

“Dirk Gently. He’s Todd Brotzman, yeah, I know who you are.” Their eyes widened and Todd leaned in.

“Are you from the future? Are you apart of project blackwing? Are you...a shark kitten?” Your held tilted, hand going to the door frame for you to lean on.

“Do I look like either a shark or a kitten to you?” You asked incredulously. Todd backed up, stammering as he shook his head. You tried to hold it in, but you ended up bursting into laughter. It caused you to bend over, both hands placed onto your knees. Dirk glanced to Todd, his hand shielding his mouth from your direction.

“Did we just knock on the door of a crazy person who somehow knows us?” You straightened up after he said that, looking to him. He was a lot taller in person, hair combed neatly but still a bit out of place.

“I’m not crazy. I’m from an alternate universe where your life is a TV show.” It was dead silent, Todd silent with shock. Dirk tilted his head, looking like he was about to say something before deciding against it.

“Oddly enough, not the weirdest thing to happen to us recently.” You smiled at the detective,  brushing off your clothes.

“I know, that’s why I told you. Now, which case is this?” Todd’s eyebrows shot up.

“There are multiple cases involving me?” He pointed to himself. You patted his shoulder, leaning in.

“Please, every case involves you. You know how it goes. You can’t control destiny. I have no doubt though that you will both figure out this case and help me get back home.” Dirk walked to you studying your face.

“And why is that?” A smile crept onto your own lips, eyes shining with mirth.

“Because you’re Dirk Gently and Todd Brotzman. It’s what you guys do.” Dirk seemed to stumble on his words a bit, not quite gripping the situation. Todd seemed just as confused, but you simply smile and walked past them, whistling. It took you a few dozen steps to realize they weren’t following. You turned back, eyebrow raised.

“Coming?” You turned back, heading to the elevator. Dirk glanced at Todd, a smile stretching across his face.

“I like her.”

[luna-helps-writing]

Kili: I’m an ineffectual in a generalized scramble of disappointment and incompetence.

Y/N: No, no, listen.

Y/N: You’re only some of these things

[multifandomwritings]

Hiii, I'd like to request a writing for how it would be to watch horror movies with dirk and todd ♡ Thankyouuu :D

I hope you like it! I included Bart lol :^)

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | Watching horror movies with them would include:

Dirk:

- Gets super excited when you suggest watching a movie together. He'll happily hop onto the couch (not until there are popcorn/snacks available, of course), excited to see what you've picked

-...So when he realizes you've chosen a horror movie, he'll be less than enthusiastic. Really, Y/N? (sassy glare)

- Not that he's really opposed. As the story continues he'll become invested in the mystery and ~horror~ of it all. He'll be going on and on about the characters/plot/his theories on what sort of twists will happen until he finally gets so invested you just look over and he's transfixed on the screen (but also will snap out of it here and there just to judge people's bad choices throughout the movie lol)

- He's pretty easily frightened and startled, and might very well close his eyes at the squeamish parts, but he doesn't hate it

Todd:

- From this group, he'd easily be the best movie-watching partner. Won't talk as much (besides the occasional comment here and there) and will actually enjoy it, depending on what type of horror movie it is

- Makes snacks in advance and will lay out a spread of both your favorite random things to snack on while you watch together

- You smile over at him every time he jumps and he's just like what??? (embarrassed) (but also does the same to you so)

- Jokingly judges your taste in movies if it's your pick. Genuinely doesn't mind though but probably gets squeamish/tenses up if it's something too intense. If he likes you though he'll try to not let it bother him because he'd be set on impressing you and going along with your tastes x_x

Bart:

- Bart would go along with whatever you liked, curious to learn about things and wouldn't be choosy about what you did together

- However, it's best to pick a movie you've seen before unless you don't mind not being able to actually pay attention to the movie. Because she'll ask questions and talk from start to finish :^)

- Will get genuinely frightened (and loud) if it's a supernatural/jumpscare-filled horror movie (grabs your arm so hard at tense scenes it will throb for hours) but if it's a slasher or something, she'll sort of begin to identify with the killer lol

- However, she may or may not be sleeping the following night if it's the former. Stuff like that isn't real, is it? 👀

[twisted-broth]

Rowdy Love (Martin x reader) pt. 1

Note: this first part will look kind of sloppy Cuse I can’t follow other people’s plots lol

Living with your best friend, Amanda always had its troubles. She was an amazing person but her attacks left a lot of work to you. There were a lot of times where she would hallucinate and actually feel things that aren’t real; which is truly awful. Thankfully, her brother Todd has managed to recover from the same thing, making it possible for Amanda.

Amanda also happened to be short on her meds, forcing Todd to come over with some more money for her.

And here he is now.

You stayed lounging on the couch with a book in your hand while Amanda answered the door.

From the doorframe, you heard Amanda ask, “Todd, is this your friend?”

“No,” said Todd.

“Yes,” said an unfamiliar voice at the same time.

“No.”

Yes.”

You soon stood to observe the commotion. From your spot, you could see Todd and another man in a bright yellow jacket with a wide smile.

“Dirk. Dirk Gently,” he introduced.

You shrugged off the strangeness of the man and draped your body back over the couch. A few moments later, the voice of the unfamiliar man caused you to look up.

“Excuse me,” he said, “but do you mind if I have a seat by you?”

You politely moved your legs to allow Dirk a place to sit.

“You’re a friend of Todd’s right?”

“Yes. He’s my assistant. You’re a friend of Amanda’s?” He asked as he sat down beside you.

“Yep. Roommate, actually.”

“I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Y/n.”

He nodded and allowed his gaze to shift to the kitchen where Todd and Amanda were talking.

“So… what exactly do you do?” You attempted to make conversation.

“I’m a holistic detective. I solve crimes with the help of the universe,” he answered with a smile.

“Um, okay,” you turned back to your book, now a little concerned by Dirk.

A small amount of time passed and their conversation fell on deaf ears. Before you knew it, the weight lifted from beside you.

“Y/n, you wanna jam with us?” Todd asked you.

You smiled and put your book down. “Of course.”

You went with Amanda to the garage while Todd and Dirk stayed behind to talk.

After everything was set up and plugged in, Todd stood next to Amanda on her drums with his guitar while you stood up front at the mic. Dirk sat in a nearby chair to watch. Your jam went like usual, Todd and Amanda would play anything that felt right and you would sing along. Your lyrics might be from a mashup of songs or just your own.

The session was cut short when Amanda screamed and her drum stick fell from her hand. You know how to care for Amanda, but you let Todd do it because of his experience. When everything has calmed down, it was time for them to leave.

After a few goodbyes, Dirk and Todd departed.

“Todd gave you more money right? You want me to go pick up your meds?” You offered to Amanda.

“Um, yeah,” Amanda said absently.

You took the cash, gave your friend a hug and left to go pick up her prescription.

Upon your return, you noticed something different. Across the way from your house was a van with a large pile of bags on the roof. It was rusting and beat up with graffiti coating it. Among the graffiti, the words “ROWDY 3” stood out in bright red. The front window was darkly tinted so you couldn’t see inside but, you had the feeling you were being watched.

Your pace quickened and you hurried inside the house, closing the glass door but leaving the wood open. After giving Amanda her pills, you asked her about the van.

“No idea. It just kind of showed up. Honestly it’s kind of freaking me out.”

She eyed a stray brick lying outside our door and you could see an idea spark behind her eyes.

“Come on,” she grabbed your arm and dragged you outside.

She grabbed the brick and chucked it at the van. It bounced off the hood of the van and landed on the road beside it.

“What do you want?” You yelled at the car.

Surprisingly, there was no response.

You sighed and turned to Amanda, planning to tell her to come back inside. However, you found her shaking, staring at her hands.

“Shit. Come on, hun, let’s get inside.”

Your rushed Amanda into the bathroom where she began running her hands under warm water. You pulled out her medicine bottle and shook a few pills into her hands. After she downed them, you sat with her on the ground and helped her recover.

“You okay?” You asked, rubbing her back.

She took a shaky breath. “Yeah.”

A crash from another room drew your attention. You rose from the ground, immediately on edge. Amanda trailed behind you as you made your way to the living room. The window had been smashed and the brick you had thrown at the truck earlier now laid on the ground with a piece of paper attached. You picked it up and Amanda huddled around you as you opened the paper. A smile broke out on your face when you saw what it said. “Hi.”

You shook your head and threw the brick back to the floor.

“What now?” You asked Amanda.

“Let’s jam,” she suggested, already heading to the garage.

You jogged to keep up with her and soon made your way to the garage. She sat down at the drum set as you opened the garage and stood at the microphone stand.

“Don’t wanna be an American idiot.

Don’t want a nation under the new media.

And can you hear the sound of hysteria?

The subliminal mind- fuck America.”

The song continued and your voice blared out of the speakers with Amanda’s drumming. You noticed the van start to shake, like someone inside it was jumping around inside it.

When the last note of your song finished, both you and Amanda sharply flipped them off.

You turned the microphone off and went to lean by Amanda.

“Still light outside. What should we do?” You asked, your eyes shifting between her and the van.

“Let’s go to the store.”

“Like, walk? Outside? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” You worried for your friend but she seemed to have her mind made up.

“Hell yeah! Let’s go.”

She got up from her drum set and excitedly headed into the house, leaving you to close the garage door. As you shut it, you took another look at the van. The swaying had slowed but you could still hear voices yelling and cheering inside.

—-

The walk to the store managed to go pretty well. Amanda seemed to be doing fine. She said that she had been inspired by something Dirk had said. It was along the lines of, “if you can’t control when it happens then why does it matter if you’re outside or not?”

It was a fair thought but for Amanda, a dangerous one.

The van followed you the entire way to the store. Surprisingly, you felt unusually comforted by its presence, instead of scared. The hours you’ve spent with it watching you made it clear that they didn’t have any intention of hurting you.

Shopping in the store with Amanda was like having a kid in a candy shop. She was just so excited to be doing something without being hurt. It was honestly really sad that she loved such a life where grocery shopping excited her. But, she was happy nonetheless and that made you happy.

Of course it couldn’t stay like that.

You were checking out, almost done, when Amanda caught on fire. She screamed as she pulled her meds out of her pocket. Seeing as she had hers, you hadn’t brought a bottle.

Unfortunately, she dropped the bottle and it rolled under the counter, out of reach. While you tried fruitlessly to retrieve it, Amanda ran out of the store. When you noticed, you rushed to keep up with her.

You got outside and saw her form curled up on the ground, screaming. Nearby, you saw a few jackasses recording her fit. You wanted desperately to beat the shit out of them but your friend came first. You ran to her side and tried to bring her down.

“Come on Amanda we have to get you home! I can’t get the meds we have to find more,” you were at a loss on what to do. Amanda’s previous attacks had been where medicine was easily accessible, but not now.

As you were thinking on what to do, the roar of an engine seized your attention. You looked up to see a very familiar van come speeding around the corner.

From the van came four men around your age. Three of the men ran immediately to the men recording Amanda. They all carried weapons of some sort and began destroying their car and breathing the men.

So these are the Rowdy Three? There’s four of them but who are you to judge? One of them was pale with greasy, stringy black hair. Another was a darkly colored, beefy man and seemed to prefer his… skull to a weapon. The third attacker had black hair that was spiked up in a huge poof.

The fourth man who didn’t fight called the others to draw their attention. They immediately went dead serious and began heading towards Amanda who was still convulsing in your arms.

The fourth man (the leader?) gestured for you to back away from your friend. Considering many of these highly intimidating men had crowbars and baseball bats, you complied.

The men circled around Amanda, hunched over. Their mouths opened and a wispy, blue substance was sucked from Amanda into their mouths. When it ended, she went back to breathing normally and passed out. Your eyes widened and you scooted away from the men.

One of the men picked up Amanda and carried her to the van. Two others went into the store and returned with our groceries and Amanda’s pills. They, too, piled into the van with the first man.

Just the leader was left, standing above you. He held out his hand to you. Hesitantly, you grabbed it and let him haul you to your feet. He released you and turned away, beginning to walk to the van. After a second, he turned back to you.

“Ain’t you coming, Rhapsody?”

[fandomtrumpshate]

Unlisted Fandoms Challenge!

We now have 91 write in fandoms for the Unlisted Fandom Challenge. New to the list since the last post -

Banana Fish Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Golden Kamuy Hamilton Justified Lucifer (TV) Musicals Nine Worlds - Victoria Goddard Pacific Rim Ted Lasso The Goblin Emperor

And the rankings - SVSSS maintains the lead, but Rusty Quill has *catapulted* up the ranks to tie for second with Sk8 the Infinity. Bleach and The Maze Runner hang on to third, and Anne with an E, Roswell New Mexico, and The Terror are joined in a tie for fourth by Hunter x Hunter.

Want to see one of your fandoms move up the list? Sign up to create fanworks and encourage your favorite fandom creator(s) to sign up too! Signups are open through Feb 13!

Full list below the cut -

8 SVSSS (Scum Villain's Self Saving System) 5 Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast 5 SK8 the Infinity 4 Bleach 4 The Maze Runner 3 Anne with an E / Anne of Green Gables 3 Hunter X Hunter 3 Roswell New Mexico 3 The Terror (TV 2018) 2 9-1-1 Lone Star 2 Cosmere - Stormlight Archive (Brandon Sanderson) 2 Eerie Indiana 2 Gilmore Girls 2 Musicals 2 Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint 2 Parasol Protectorate 2 Pokemon (Games) 2 Red White and Royal Blue 2 The Penumbra Podcast 2 Tortall 2 Tower of God 2 Transformers Prime G1 IDW and Animated 1 Actor RPF (any combo of Luca - Marwan - Ale - Matthias) 1 All American 1 Ballet Canon (eg Swan Lake/Giselle/La Sylphide) 1 Banana Fish 1 Bioshock 1&2 1 Black Sails 1 Black Summer 1 Death Note 1 Destiny 2 1 Dice Punks 1 Digimon 1 Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency 1 Dragon Ball 1 Dragonriders of Pern Series - Anne McCaffrey 1 Erha /2ha /Husky and His White Cat Shizun 1 Euphoria 1 Fear Street 1 Formula 1 RPF 1 Giselle (ballet) 1 Golden Kamuy 1 Grimm 1 Gris (Video Game) 1 Hamilton 1 Hot Fuzz 1 Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie 1 Inuyasha 1 Jujutsu Kaisen 1 Jurassic Park/Jurassic World (movie trilogies) 1 Justified 1 London Spy 1 Lord Peter Wimsey 1 Lucifer (TV) 1 Major Grom 1 Malevolent (podcast) 1 Minecraft: Story Mode 1 Mob Psycho 100 1 Nine Worlds - Victoria Goddard 1 One Direction 1 Outlast games 1 Pacific Rim 1 Peaky Blinders (BBC) 1 Slayers (Hajime Kanzaka) 1 Smallville 1 Smile For Me 1 South Park 1 Spinning Silver (Naomi Novik) 1 Stargate: Atlantis 1 Succession 1 Suits (TV) - Marvey 1 T. Kingfisher Clocktaur Duology and Paladin Romances 1 Tamora Pierce works 1 Ted Lasso 1 The Goblin Emperor 1 The Hour 1 The Iliad/The Song of Achilles 1 The Last Kingdom 1 The Legend of Drizzt 1 The Man From UNCLE (TV) 1 The Murderbot Diaries 1 The Walking Dead (TV) 1 Tianbao Fuyao Lu 1 Umbrella Academy 1 Veronica Mars 1 Wheel of Time (TV Series only) 1 White Collar 1 Wynonna Earp (TV series) 1 X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) 1 Yakuza/Ryuu Ga Gotoku 1 Yona of the Dawn