#dirk gently x reader

[dreaminginpastels]

characters I write for

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

»»-----　my darlings (characters I will ALWAYS write for)　-----««

♥︎ remus lupin (harry potter - marauders era)

♥︎ druig (marvel - eternals)

♥︎ spencer reid (criminal minds)

♥︎ ed nygma/the riddler (gotham, batman: forever, potentially the batman if people would like!)

♥︎ peter parker

(tom holland or andrew garfield only, pre-no way home only as I haven’t seen that film yet, and am not as familiar with tobey maguire’s peter parker)

♥︎ newt (the maze runner)

♥︎ data (star trek: the next generation)

♥︎ michael mell (be more chill)

♥︎ reed richards (the fantastic four)

♥︎ peeta mellark / finnick odair (the hunger games)

♥︎ merry / pippin / sam / frodo (lord of the rings)

♥︎ pat butcher (bbc ghosts)

♥︎ todd anderson / neil perry (dead poets society)

♥︎ theo dimas (only murders in the building)

♥︎ newt scamander (harry potter - fantastic beasts)**

**prior to the newest movie only

»»-----　as a kind of general rule, I can write for any character from: -----««

- harry potter / marauders era / fantastic beasts and where to find them

(original movies/books characters only)

- marvel (especially eternals and avengers)

- criminal minds (seasons 1-7 until I catch up)

- lord of the rings (trilogy only, I haven’t read the hobbit yet!)

- the hunger games

- gotham

- the maze runner

- dead poet’s society

- ghosts (bbc)

- the fantastic four

- x-men

- star trek: the next generation

- dirk gently’s holistic detective agency (netflix series only)

- the back to the future trilogy

- narnia (movies only)

- the pirates of the caribbean

- dear evan hansen (musical)

- be more chill (musical)

- only murders in the building

please note:

this is NOT an exhaustive list, I am a fan of heaps of fandoms and am in love with way too many fictional characters 😅 

plus I’m always open to new suggestions!

the best option is to send me either a direct message or an ask to check if I write for any particular characters that you might have in mind

I’m very friendly and am super happy to discuss it with you!

[lesbian-deadpool]

Y/N: Did I make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: Did I only make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: But did it work out? Kind of!

[vikkirosko]

Hello! can i request lil hal and davesprite (seperately) x reader that has the personality of madoka kaname from madoka magica?

Headcanons Madoka

🕶 Davesprite x Reader 🐥

You were one of the kindest people Davesprite knew. You always took care of the people close to you and Davesprite was one of those who were closest to you. You loved each other and you often surrounded him with care and love. You often tried to help others, and sometimes because of this you could have problems. At such moments, Davesprite came to your aid

Seeing how his wound was bleeding, you couldn't stay away. Every time you changed his bandages, trying to do it as carefully as possible. Davesprite told you every time that you shouldn't have worried about it, but you smiled gently at him and told him that you couldn't let him feel bad and hurt. Your words made him smile softly

Davesprite liked the way you were. He liked your kindness and your open nature. You were like a shining star on a dark night. You were the one who brought happiness into his life and he was grateful to you for remaining the same bright and kind no matter what

💾 Lil Hal x Reader ⚡️

Lil Hal and you initially started communicating when he didn't have a physical body. He was interested in learning more about you, so he asked Dirk about you several times. Dirk tried to limit your communication, but eventually stopped doing it. Lil Hal enjoyed talking to you. You were always kind when communicating with him and, as it turned out, you had a kind, bright character

You often told him about how your days were going. You often helped others, but sometimes you got injured because of it. Lil Hal couldn't help you, but he listened to you and sometimes gave you advice. Other times, he might be joking to help you smile again

Lil Hal spent a long time trying to persuade Dirk to make him a robot body, but when he finally succeeded, he was able to meet you in person. You were just what he imagined. You began to communicate often and now he could help you not only with words but also with actions. He protected you when it was necessary and sighed heavily when you got into trouble again because of your kindness and he wasn't there to help you

Lil Hal liked spending time with you and he liked you. You didn't pay attention to the fact that he wasn't human. You were kind and attentive to him, and he was glad of your company. Thanks to you, he forgot that he was not human. He was really happy spending time with you. He could safely say that he fell in love with you and thanks to you he could feel more and more new emotions

[adolph649]

Hey! (Sorry 4 my bad english)

🇬🇧This post is to show y'all the fandoms I'm in and in case you want a request for x character/reader or character/character

🇪🇦Esta publicación es para mostrarles a todos los fandoms en los que estoy y en caso de que quieran pedirne que escriba x personaje/lector o personaje/personaje.

🇬🇧⚠️Before starting with my long list of fandoms.

🇪🇦⚠️Antes de comenzar con mi larga lista de fandoms.

🇬🇧I want to say that Hazbin Hotel is a fandom that you can request me, thanks to the fact that I was a big fan when the pilot came out even though I watched series 🏴‍☠️, but let me tell you that I DO NOT support the creator. I will probably ONLY write about it if yall ask me to.

🇪🇦Quiero decir que Hazbin Hotel es un fandom que me pueden solicitar, gracias a que era un gran fan cuando salió el piloto, y de que vi la serie 🏴‍☠️, pero déjenme decirles que NO apoyo el creador. Probablemente SÓLO escribiré sobre la serie si me lo pedís.

🇬🇧Now with the list♡:

🇪🇦 Ahora con la lista♡:

1 Unicorn Wars

2 Heathers

3 Lorax

4 Tangled the series

5 The owl house

6 Gravity Falls

7 Amphibia

8 Little witch academia

9 Kid cosmic

10 Kimetsu no Yaiba

11 Re-animator

12 Camp Camp

13 Hanako-kun

14 Diabolik lovers

15 Bee & Puppycat

16 Takopis original sin

17 Hilda

18 Carmen sandiego

19 Melanie martinez

20 Harry Potter

21 She-ra

22 Uglydolls

23 Mphfpc

24 Dirk gently

25 Kill la kill

26 Danganrompa v1

27 Studio Ghibli

28 Madoka magica

29 Shimanami Tasogare

30 Blood soup

31 Ephemeral

32 Moonlight lovers

33 Mad Father

34 Ib

35 Wicht house

36 Mogeko castle

37 El coleccionista de demonios

38 Adventure time

39 the willoughbys

40 The amazing digital circus

41 The promised neverland

42 Over the garden wall

43 FNAF

44 FNAFHS

45 Liar liar

46 La princesa sofia

47 The hunger games

48 Marionetta

49 Hooky

50 Scott pilgrim

51 Evangelion

52 Six

53 Hamilton

54 Big bang theory

55 Trolls

56 Crimen en el paraíso/Death in paradise

57 Centaurworld

58 jelly jamm

59 mean girls

60 the ancient magus bride

61 Futbolísimos

62 arcane

63 my little pony

64 sakura card captor

65 Hoppscotch

66 Agatha Mistery

67 Avatar the last airbender

68 el príncipe de la niebla

69 marina

70 kipo

71 mimes and clowns (webtoon)

72 school busca graveyard

73 The leyend of korra

74 Mentira (libro)

75 Creepypastas

76 julie and the phantoms

77 eltingville club

78 inside out

79 the loud house

80 calimero y valeriano

81 desencanto 

82 tragones y mazmorras

83 the order/la orden secreta

84 EPIC the musical

85 an extremely goofy movie

86 IHNMAIMS(i have mouth and I must scream)

87 Carol and the end of the world

88 Blood of Zeus

89 The umbrella academy

90 Dandadan

91 Assassination classroom

92 Caseoh

AND MORE AS TIME GOES ON!

Y MAS A MEDIDA Q PASA EL TIEMPO

🇬🇧I will surely add more fandoms over time. / 🇪🇦Seguramente añadiré mas fandoms con el tiempo

🇬🇧What I will write:

- Character x Reader

- Character x Character (some ships are not allowed)

- platonic relationships

- hcs

- one-shots

🇪🇦Lo que escribiré:

- Personaje x Lector

- Personaje x Personaje (algunos ships no están permitidos)

- relaciones platónicas

- hcs

- one-shots

🇬🇧What I will NOT write:

- romantic big age-gaps ships

- comships in general

🇪🇦Lo que NO escribiré:

- ships románticos con grandes diferencias de edad

- ships de comships/proships en general

🇬🇧Examples of how to request:

- "Hi! Can I get hcs of *character*(fandom) with a S/O with male pronoums who likes shiny things?"

- "Can I request a one-shot of *character 1* who sees *character 2* as a sibling"

- "Hey, can you write *character*, *character* and *character* with an S/O with female pronoums pls?"

- "Can I get *Character* dating hcs? With GN reader pls

🇪🇦Ejemplos de cómo solicitar:

- "¡Hola! ¿Puedes hacer hcs de *personaje*(fandom) con un S/O con pronombres masculinos al que le gustan las cosas brillantes?"

- "¿Puedo solicitar un one-shot de *personaje 1* que ve a *personaje 2* como un hermano"

- "¿Puedo obtener hcs de citas con *Personajes*? Con el lector GN, por favor

🇬🇧I would like to tell you that this is my first time writing and that please be a little patient with me, I hope I can learn from this experience and if you have tips to tell me, don't be shy!

🇪🇦Me gustaría deciros que esta es mi primera vez escribiendo y que por favor tengais un poco de paciencia conmigo, espero poder aprender de esta experiencia y si teneis tips que decirme no os cortéis!

🇬🇧Unfortunately it won't let me add more than 30 # :(

🇪🇦Desgraciadamente no me deja de poner mas de 30 # :(

[twisted-broth]

1000 Follower Special!!

Wowwowwowwowwow

I actually never thought I would reach this milestone and I am actually so honored that this many people listen to my silly little simping. When I started writing fanfiction for Supernatural and Hamilton (YIKES) back in ye old 2017 I didn’t think it would amount to this. I never thought I would see my first request or a nice comment on my writing but I have and it makes my heart flutter every time I get an ask. I could go on for so long about how happy I am right now. Thank you thank you thank you

Anyways!!

I want to do something to celebrate this milestone and thank all my amazing followers! So I’m going to open up requests for personalized letters from your favorite character!

Here are the rules:

All rules in my pinned post still apply EXCEPT for the readers pronouns. This is a letter for you!

I will accept requests for until I say so

These letters can be to you specifically or to y/n

They can be private (only you will see it) or I can post it on the blog

Requests must be sent to me by DM (I don’t bite I promise)

Requests should include: characters name, your name and pronouns (or Y/n), if the letter is private or public, your relationship to the character, any pet names you would like the character to use, anything I should avoid, and literally anything else you want

Example: hi mikeah! My name is mikeah, my pronouns are he/him and I would like to request a letter from Leona where we are already dating. I’m fine with any pet names but please don’t mention food! Can you make him yandere? Thank you! The letter can be public.

(Be more specific but that’s the gist of it)

This follower special is not just for twst, I’ll write a letter for any fandoms in my pinned post.

Have fun!!

[multifandomwritings]

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | Celebrating your birthday with Dirk would include:

- You'd almost think he forgot your birthday at first. He'd want to surprise you, but his timing would be bad and he'd start to risk upsetting you by seemingly forgetting

- He would want to go all out for your birthday of course, but he's so scatterbrained and would have a hard time planning and making it as special as he wanted to

-...Which would lead to him pouting and needing reassurance throughout the day when it seemed everything continuously went wrong. It wouldn't stop him from trying, though!

- Even if you preferred a more quiet celebration, he'd still go all out just among yourselves. Would attempt to surprise you with cake, balloons, etc. (all while wearing a party hat, of course)

- He'd be so proud of himself, having gotten what he thought was your favorite type of cake and snacks, though he'd probably get it all wrong. He'd be so smiley and pleased with himself that you wouldn't have the heart to say otherwise (and if you did, he'd be crushed lol)

- Whatever you wanted to do, he'd enthusiastically go along with. Even something simple like staying in and watching your favorite movies together could end up being chaotic and extra with him though

- He makes up for all the chaoticness with a really sweet, thoughtful gift. He'd give it to you while chattering along, seemingly not really noticing how thoughtful a gift it was (something really specific to you, or something you mentioned ages ago) but carefully eyeing you as you opened it, nervous that you wouldn't like it. Would melt in relief when you did, smile widening at your reaction

[deirdre-queen-blog]

[avian-kneecaps]

Hey guys, welcome to my TED talk.

The topic for today; I need more goddamn fanfic for Dirk Gently.

Please. I love him so much

LOOK AT HIM! THIS CONFUSED BEAN DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND I WANT TO GIVE IT TO HIM

There's fanfiction for dating underage teenagers with like 0 personality but not for this lovable psychic man with a British accent who's actually of legal age?? Unacceptable. Go watch the show. Go show him love.

I have low blood sugar and a heart full of love for Dirk Gently. Thank you for reading.

[dreaminginpastels]

to those that have requested…

please know that I will absolutely get around to every request I have received!

I have not forgotten about you and am genuinely so excited to write some of these 😍

if you’re at all concerned, please feel free to dm me or send in an ask.

I’ve also tagged some of the characters that I’ve received requests for to reassure you in case you’re nervous to contact me for whatever reason (though the tags are not in order)

thank you for your patience, I promise I’ll get around to each of them soon!

love and appreciate you all,

- daniella 🤍🌸

[imagine-nation20]

Easy Isn't Worth It

Summary: With the new case getting exceedingly more dangerous, Dirk tries harder and harder to keep the reader out of it.

Request: By an anon and @lulu-102

lulu-102: Can you do a Dirk Gently oneshot where Dirk and the reader are dating and hes scared because she got hurt because of the case he was working on? (season 2 is where i thought up this idea)

Anon: HEYO ITS THE EXCITED DIRK GENTLY ANON so I decided to request some stuff so so I’m watching ep 6 of s2 and wowie is Dirk stressed out so can you do a thing where reader pulls him away and just like. Calms him down. Like. He deserves a bit of calm. Thanks!!

A/N: I combined these two since I thought they would fit well together, hope you don’t mind! Also, I felt that I should warn of panic attacks and violent descriptions. I AM ALSO SO SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN AWAY SO LONG.

~~~

This case was a weird one to say the least. People in trees, people in cars in trees, and alternate dimensions. The guy with pink hair and the crazy woman with a magic wand were seeming less and less worrisome with all these new problems. 

You wondered, if this was all effecting you this badly, what was it doing to Dirk? Sure, he had dealt with the last case pretty well, but that was before Blackwing had locked him up. You couldn’t imagine how much it had messed with him, and this case was just adding to the already towering pile of stress.

It all finally came to a halt when you got hurt. To be honest, you had suspected this would happen. Dirk had been a bit unstable, and frankly terrified, recently. He had even previously blew up at Todd, stating that the case was over and that no magic dimension existed.

He had snapped at you, saying that you weren’t fit to solve the case, that you were simply in the way, and that you should go back home and let them solve it alone. You knew he didn’t really mean what he said, yet it still stung like lemon juice in a wound, and left you feeling a bit empty. You knew that if you stayed in a room with him, you would get just as angry and retaliate, so you walked out of the police station. Tina asked you what was wrong as you stormed past her, but you ignored her question and continued out of the building.

The air was hot, yet somehow refreshing. The sun beat down on your skin, warming you up. As you looked up to the bright blue sky, you hear the door to the station open.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Tina.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes. 

“I don’t think my name is Tina, but... if you would like to try and guess again...” Dirk spoke softly, his tone painfully light. You turned your head slightly to look at his tall figure, still simmering a bit from the argument that took place moments before.

“No, I think I’m good. Apparently, I am a crap detective.”

“I never said that, I simply stated that this case was no longer safe, and I didn’t want you to get hurt while trying to solve it so you should just go and stay at a nice hotel far, far, far away from here.” He stated, looking at you, but your focus was pinned to a tall evergreen on the other side of the road, not wanting to look him in the eye. If you did, you would no longer be able to be mad, and the anger you felt would melt away.

“But you managed to say it in the most dickish way possible. Your skills are really truly astounding Dirk Gently.” It was silent after that, and he seemed to soak in your words. You snuck a glance at him, risking meeting his gaze due to curiosity. Unfortunately, that is precisely what happened. The minute you locked gazes, you say the worry, the hurt, and all the misery. Dirk really was bad at hiding what he was feeling.

“Hey, look, I understand you were worried. I get that, I really do, Dirk. It’s just...I can handle it. I’m not just going to up and leave all of you because a case gets a bit dangerous. We were dealing with crossbow-wielding minions and time travel when we met. A little dimensional civil war isn’t going to stop me from helping you,” You placed a hand on his cheek, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “You matter to me just as much as I matter to you. I love you and if you want me to not help on this case, well then you’ll have to drag me away kicking and screaming.”

His mouth hung open, his eyes wide. It was silent for a moment, the air around you completely still. His hands suddenly cradled your face, his eyes shining and mouth curling into an elated smile.

“Have I ever mentioned how much a love you, because it is a pretty big amount. I’d say even more than Todd loves Farrah, and we all know that is a lot.” You smiled at his rambling, studying his face, because with Dirk was right, no matter how much you told him not to worry. This case was getting more and more dangerous, and this may very well be the last time you see him.

~~~

Sorry if Dirk is out of character. I haven’t watched the show since it ended, so I am a bit rusty on his character.

[lesbian-deadpool]

Tony: Do you know something?

Y/N: I don’t know anything, ever.

Y/N: It’s really quite relaxing.

[jonas-og-eyebrows-blog]

Dirk gently x reader where the reader gets pulled into one of their investigations by accident and is basically really confused and is super calm at first but after having her questions ignored a whole bunch she explodes and actually ends up solving the case in her ranting. Sorta like a side comment she makes about something she saw and it ends up being the one thing they needed to solve the case.

Dirk Gently x Gender Neutral! Reader

Sorry this is so late been super busy, also I sorry it’s a bit short

‘Guys…’ Y/N tried to interrupt Dirk rambling about another clue they had come across. As always however he never listened. As of that moment, he was staring at a coded word written on a scruffy napkin. ‘3 elt’ was all that was written, in pink gel pen funnily enough. It was the final clue, this would lead them to the trap door which, according to Dirk, would lead to the greatest treasure.

‘What does this mean?’ Dirk said putting emphasis on the ‘mean’ as Y/N rolled their eyes.

‘Look Dirk you’re-‘

‘Not now Y/N, thinking!’ At this Y/N stormed out of the cave they were in, giving Todd the torch they were holding.

‘Maybe Y/N had an idea Dirk.’

‘No ideas here Todd, just connections,’ Dirk continued to look around for any ‘connection’ to the napkin while Todd went to talk to Y/N.

Their eyes seemed slightly red, possibly from crying but they tried hard to cover that up.

‘Hug?’ Todd asked making Y/N chuckle, the light from the cave grew dimmer as Dirk went further in.

‘You know I don’t do hugs Todd.’

‘Worth a try though,’ he smiled. As they took in the fresh air, they heard a sudden crash come from the cave making them turn quickly.

‘I found the trap door!’ Dirk shouted, even though it sounded quiet from where Y/N and Todd stood. Both sighed at the same time as they began walking back.

‘He just thinks that it’s all connections, when I have a plausible idea he just shuts me down. I’m sick of it Todd.’ Y/N kicked a small stone in their way and smiled at the echo it made, though stuffy this cave was pretty. Todd just gives a sympathetic smile as they near Dirk, who is currently jumping wildly around the trap door. The door itself was a plain wooden door with simple lock, however they had no key, something Todd had to remind Dirk.

‘Well let’s just look for it, must be near. The napkin must be a clue to the whereabouts,’ Dirk gasped. After about five minutes of Dirk ignoring Y/N’s questions they sighed.

‘Oh give me strength, Dirk!’ He looked up giving Y/N an odd look. ‘That’s a B not a 3, it says ‘Belt’.’ Again Dirk gave a quizzical look making Y/N sigh for what must have been the tenth time that day. ‘The belt we found two days ago, it’s amongst the bag of collectables, it must be the key,’ they shrugged. Reluctantly Dirk took the buckle on the belt and slotted it into the keyhole, upon twisting a clicking sound was heard, making Y/N roll their eyes.

‘We did it!’ Dirk shouted whilst, again jumping around.

‘That’s it!’ Y/N cried, walking out of the cave.

‘What happened?’ Dirk asked looking at Todd, who glared back. Dirk decided to follow Y/N back outside sensing the tenseness in their footsteps. He found them sitting on a small rock outside staring at the view of the forest in the distance. The wind pushing their hair in all sorts of directions. He cautiously stepped forward, sitting next to them.

‘Lovely view,’ Dirk attempted to break the silence, only to receive silence. ‘Well done on the code figuring out,’ he awkwardly patted Y/N’s back and was met with silence again. ‘You’re a great assist-friend Y/N, I couldn’t have got to the end of this investigation without you. I don’t mean to ignore you, I just, I get excited you know about clues and stuff.’ Y/N fidgeted with a blade of grass while Dirk sighed before standing up. ‘Shall we go see what’s behind that trap door, I think Todd is getting impatient with us- er, me, impatient with me,’ correcting himself once seeing the glare from Y/N.

Y/N slowly got up and started walking back to the cave, chuckling when hearing Dirks little jog to catch up with them. ‘Do you think it’s money- ooh maybe some food I’m getting a bit peckish.’

[luna-helps-writing]

Elrond, talking about Thorin: Do you know him?

Y/N:

Thorin: >:(

Y/N: That homicidal dirt muppet and I have never crossed paths before

[incorrecsnkvscapcomxreader]

Athena: *when she first met Kensou* You're a person of interest, permanently, even though you're not necessarily an interesting person.

Y/N: That feels unnecessarily rude.

[twisted-broth]

So I recently watched dirk gently for the first time, and I really love the rowdy 3, Martin in particular. Can you maybe do a Martin x reader?

Aaaaahhh how did you find out about my undying love for Martin?? Tbh I wrote that one fic for myself I didn’t think anyone would ever read it. Okay I don’t ~technically~ write for Dirk Gently but I’ll write it anyway because I’ve sold my soul to the rowdy 3

Waking up in a beat up van, surrounded by four intimidating men? Yep, this was how you were going to die. 

“Ha! I told you they weren’t dead!” The smallest of the four grabbed $10, presumably bet money, off the dash. “What’s up, bro? I’m Vogel.”

“Hi…” You said hesitantly. 

Vogel introduced the rest of the men surrounding you as Gripps, Cross (the one who lost the bet) and Martin. Martin seemed to be the least personable of the group. As soon as he was sure you were awake and unhurt, he fixated himself in the driver's seat without saying a word.

“So, why am I in your sketchy van, Vogel?”

“You were in the road, boss. We almost ran you over! Martin’s the one who made us take you in. Make sure you were okay or whatever.” Vogel explained. 

“You got a nasty bump on your head, so you probably got a concussion. And your legs was all cut up from the gravel. We ain’t doctors, though, so we just slapped some band aids on there.” Gripps continued. 

You shakily managed to sit up against the side of the van, which you only just noticed was moving. It wasn’t a situation you were hoping to find yourself in today but, considering you could have been roadkill if it weren’t for these guys, you decided it was probably not the worst thing to happen. You groaned as you rubbed the bump on your head. You had no idea where you got it. Last thing you remember was walking to the library. 

“You want some advil, dog?” Cross asked. 

You gently nodded your head, careful not to disturb the aching that was already there. Cross handed you a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of water. You quickly downed them and then took a moment to look around the van. It was barren except for four metal bats rolling around in the back. You also saw a small bag that held first aid supplies. 

“Do you… have any food?” You asked cautiously. The baseball bats brought back your nerves a bit. Your head shot to Martin when you heard him let out a soft chuckle. Cross also looked like he was holding back a laugh. “Oh my god are you gonna eat me?!”

The three boys in the back burst out laughing. You caught a glimpse of Martin smirking in the mirror. 

“No!! Chill, boss, we’re not gonna eat you! We just don’t eat like you do. We’re kinda like vampires-” Vogel started.

“What??”

“Jesus christ, Vogel. Gripps, you take the wheel. The rest of you, go away I’ll explain to them.” Martin sighed as he pulled the van over. Gripps replaced him in the driver’s seat as Vogel and Cross squished together in the front seat. You pressed further into the wall as Martin crouched down in front of you. “Look, uh… What’s your name?”

“Y/n.”

“Y/n, we’re not like you. We’re part of a… project that brings together people who are different. And all these people have a part in the interconnectedness of all things. We are holistic vampires. We feed off of energy. It’s better for us to feed off of people who are in pain, or very stressed.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’re going to see Dirk!” Gripps cheered.

“Right. That little dude is just an anxiety generator. It's great. The reason you’re still in this van, Y/n, is because everything is connected. The person who hit you over the head? Her name is Bart. She’s a holistic assassin and for whatever reason, her senses told her to knock you out and leave you in the road for us to find. Which we did.” Martin finished explaining. 

“How did she know another car wouldn’t come run me over?” You questioned.

“She didn’t.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Listen, Y/n,” he warned, “You’re gonna have to start calming down. Otherwise…” Martin leaned in to you and gently bit the tip of your ear. “You’re starting to smell really good,” he whispered in your ear. 

He pulled away from you as the van screeched to a halt and Gripps announced that we were here. Martin stood up and looked down at your bright red face. He smiled and extended a hand for you to grab. You refused to make eye contact as you grabbed his hand and hauled yourself up. The other three hopped into the back of the van to grab their bats, splitting apart you and Martin. 

“Woah, what happened, boss? You’re all red! Do you have a fever?” Vogel innocently pressed his hand to your head. 

You gingerly removed his hand from your head. “I’m fine, Vogel. Thanks, though.”

Cross flung open the back doors of the van and jumped out, followed by Gripps and Vogel. Martin leaned into the front of the van and pulled a crowbar out from under the passenger seat. He weighed it in his hands before offering it to you. 

“What’s this for?” You asked as you grabbed it.

“We’re about to have some fun, baby.”

[multifandomwritings]

Hiii, I'd like to request a writing for how it would be to watch horror movies with dirk and todd ♡ Thankyouuu :D

I hope you like it! I included Bart lol :^)

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | Watching horror movies with them would include:

Dirk:

- Gets super excited when you suggest watching a movie together. He'll happily hop onto the couch (not until there are popcorn/snacks available, of course), excited to see what you've picked

-...So when he realizes you've chosen a horror movie, he'll be less than enthusiastic. Really, Y/N? (sassy glare)

- Not that he's really opposed. As the story continues he'll become invested in the mystery and ~horror~ of it all. He'll be going on and on about the characters/plot/his theories on what sort of twists will happen until he finally gets so invested you just look over and he's transfixed on the screen (but also will snap out of it here and there just to judge people's bad choices throughout the movie lol)

- He's pretty easily frightened and startled, and might very well close his eyes at the squeamish parts, but he doesn't hate it

Todd:

- From this group, he'd easily be the best movie-watching partner. Won't talk as much (besides the occasional comment here and there) and will actually enjoy it, depending on what type of horror movie it is

- Makes snacks in advance and will lay out a spread of both your favorite random things to snack on while you watch together

- You smile over at him every time he jumps and he's just like what??? (embarrassed) (but also does the same to you so)

- Jokingly judges your taste in movies if it's your pick. Genuinely doesn't mind though but probably gets squeamish/tenses up if it's something too intense. If he likes you though he'll try to not let it bother him because he'd be set on impressing you and going along with your tastes x_x

Bart:

- Bart would go along with whatever you liked, curious to learn about things and wouldn't be choosy about what you did together

- However, it's best to pick a movie you've seen before unless you don't mind not being able to actually pay attention to the movie. Because she'll ask questions and talk from start to finish :^)

- Will get genuinely frightened (and loud) if it's a supernatural/jumpscare-filled horror movie (grabs your arm so hard at tense scenes it will throb for hours) but if it's a slasher or something, she'll sort of begin to identify with the killer lol

- However, she may or may not be sleeping the following night if it's the former. Stuff like that isn't real, is it? 👀