#directly effect things. it's helpful but it's also a way to let people /feel/ like theyre helping‚ to feel less helpless abt it

[gibbearish]

ive always had issues with the term "terminally online" mostly because of how it swiftly devolved to just mean "anyone online i disagree with", however recently it did finally click for me when someone messaged me about my aaron bushnell posts and ended it with "yeah idk i just think it would've done more good for him to stay alive and donate to esims for gaza" bc i just. like. where do you even start with that. like that to me is an opinion that cannot come from anywhere other than having your entire frame of reference for activism and the united states military be gathered online. you really think someone who thought they had to /kill themselves/ to avoid /active contributions to genocide/ would've done more good just. keeping their head down and doing what they were told and throwing a spare couple dollars at the esims fund? do you think you know more about the harm he was helping do than he did, that you can speculate on how best to outweigh it? do you think if "donate to esims" was actually a more productive option he wouldnt have picked that before SELF IMMOLATION???? and like ive since blocked that person because of some other issues but. it took quite literally everything in me not to say anything about it in the moment

[bloop-bl00p]

“Fîls de joie” What Poison could have been.

TW: Mention of Sexual Assault, Sexual Abuse, Rape, Drugs, Addiction, Manipulation, Mention of Fetish and sex in general, mention of Sex works, Raphielle II don’t go harras him and respect his pronouns

I’m trying to be a writer and I understand writing about taboos and controversial things is difficult. I only write about what I know which is the effect of emotional and physical abuse and religious traumas. Notheless if I’m trying to do something out of my domain of expertise I’ll research it to respect the concerned part of the audience.

Vivienne Medrano said that people who’ve been sexually abused helped write episode 4. Part of me wants to believe it, it’s most likely true, it’s the best thing a writer can do, let knowledgeable people help and not just rely on sites about psychology. But, with how rape and assault are presented sometimes it really feels like she’s lying.

Angel Dust is the only character whose abuse is presented as serious.

Stolas kept belittling Bliztø and kept talking dirty even when the Man was in danger

You cannot tell me that he couldn't hear the gunshot through the phone, in this scene, he keeps making his disgusting speech. Blitzø was practically forced to make the deal as he wasn't in a situation where he could process his thoughts clearly since he was trying to survive

And it was a joke.

Angels Dusk kept harassing Husk throughout the series but he never once apologized. Yes, it stopped after Looser Baby but he should have a mindful conversation with Husk and genuinely say sorry about his behavior.

“It starts with sowwy🥺” What’s the point of having this song if the characters don’t follow through with the lesson?

Those scenes were mostly jokes.

And I haven’t mentioned Sir Pentious getting dragged while being drunk in a sex room, or Moxie being kissed by Succubus despite mentioning he didn't want any of that.

AAaaAaaaAh look at these men, being uncomfortable because they are touched and talked down despite verbally addressing their discomfort! That hilarious!

I want to believe she cares, I’m a fan of these shows, I know it doesn't look like it but I’ve been hooked since the Pilots. Not only was I disappointed at the final result but I was also shocked to learn Medrano is simply just an asshole with too much money in her bag.

Poison failed where Fîls de Joie succeeded:

Before reading any of what I wrote you should listen to it, there are English subtitles. And honestly, it's a good song on its own.

What’s the context of Fîls de Joie?

A sex worker died and her son is holding funerals for her. You can guess it with the wordplay in the title, Fille de Joie (Girl of Joy) is one of the many ways to say prostitute in French. Fîls (son) de Joie is a way to say that he’s the son of a sex worker.

While sung by the same man, you can notice that Stromae gives us four POVs in the song, the son in the chorus, a client, the pimp, and a policeman.

Everyone besides the son is a hypocrite and relatively an asshole. But even if those verses are self-centered and a pathetic attempt from these men to bring sympathy to themselves, despite never hearing the story directly from the Woman, you can guess exactly how her life was and you sympathize with her. It tells us a story, her story.

This woman was a good mother, and it shows how much the son insisted on leaving her alone, speaking proudly of her despite acknowledging her flaws, and even repeatedly calling her a hero.

But HEY! (But HEY!) Leave my mom alone Yes I know, she’s not perfect, it’s true She’s a hero (She’s a hero) And I will always speak of her with pride

The client is trying to be excused from his actions by stating he’s lonely and addicted to it.

Being alone is not easy And it’s been years since my last time

The hardest part, well, it’s the first time And now what’s hard is to decide when the last time will be

But he’s also verbally violent even stating that as long as he got the money he could pretty much do everything to her.

Maybe this time around we can do it with me insulting her. Yeah everything is negotiablе in life, if you got the money And after all, I’m probably her best customer

With that alone, you can probably guess that it’s not the only violent client she had but she has to endure it because she needs money. Considering that she has a son it’s probably to support his education or something related to her well-being and his.

Then comes the pimp, he brushed off all of his misdeeds by saying he gives them shelter and food and should be grateful for it.

Why does everyone hate me? I’m the one feeding them Their lives would be way more mediocre. Without me, their lives would be shitty

Not only that but his good actions are not for the sake of it, he should have his part of the deals. He doesn't want them to feel like princesses eventually calling them hookers in a very dehumanizing way.

That has a price, Missy. Well duh, in this life, everything comes at a price. Nobody ever told you? They say I’m guilty of human trafficking But 50, 40, 30 or 20% is not nothing

They better not delude themselves and think they’re models Ladies—or should I say: hookers!

Not only does this woman have to endure constant violent behavior from her clients she barely gets enough money despite being the one at work, receiving either 50% or even 20% of what she actually gained. The rest goes to an egocentric pimp that only sees her as merchandise.

While we can technically understand where the policeman is coming from, he’s just doing his job, he’s making a mistake apparent in the other’s verse but much more evident in his.

He doesn't see her as a human.

I know that it’s your job But I gotta do mine, don’t I?

Take back your ID and what’s left of your dignity You’re pathetic, pfft Find yourself a real job!

This song doesn't tell us the story of a prostitute but the story of a financially struggling Mother who juggles between abusing clients and a society that only focuses on the top of the iceberg, the fact that she’s selling her body.

Stromae tries to appeal to our compassion and teach us that it’s important to understand why someone will go their way to sell sex for a few pennies. And rather than rejecting them, we should help them.

Another thing I like about the clip as a whole is the Military. They don’t have a Belgian or French uniform but they wear multiple of them to show that this dehumanization isn’t linked to one country but it’s global, every countries and cultures take part in it, and it needs to be fixed.

What does Poison tell us?

Angel got stuck in an abusive situation and was forced to do sex work for his pimps, it focuses more on the sexual assault rather than his life.

He obliviously regrets his choice resulting in him blaming himself for getting into such a messy situation. A situation he’s seemingly addicted to despite himself, he knows it’s bad but he can’t help it.

What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself

You're feedin' me poison Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow. Up your poison

The poison can also be a metaphor for the drugs he seems to take directly from Valentino’s brand. A drug he either takes himself or is forced to inhale.

He uses the same substance to forget his situation and numbs the pain while also putting on a false Sex-addicted mask to convey that he’s fine and stay on Valentino’s good side. A direct consequence of his abuse is his addiction and his hypersexuality.

I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear

At the end of the song he’s waisted, traumatized, and finally breaks down as he finally has a short time to process everything that happened. Because here’s the thing, Poison is a fantasy, it’s a mask he puts in to forget the emotional and physical weight that was put on him, hence why it’s so flashy and pretty. The few glimpses of Angel being visibly distraught show that all the parts where he isn't are him disassociating.

See I can analyze stuff and I totally understand what they were trying to do with it but the difference with Fîls de Joie is, that we didn't know the life or personality of The Mother and we learn it through the song.

Angel Dust and Valentino’s relationship is highlighted throughout the shows and Poison doesn't add anything new to the table. The song is POINTLESS. Husk already looked at us and told us that Angel Dust being sexual was a whole persona he puts in.

You can say that the song humanized him since he was basically the “AaahaAH SEX” character but the locker scene already did and… I don’t like the story behind the making of it, why you ask?

Because Vivienne let Raphielle’s work affect her writing.

Visually speaking I believe you can present a disturbing concept with equally disturbing imagery, I understand that the point was to make you uncomfortable and the Dance sequence was Angel Dust disassociating while what was happening was displayed on the screen.

But… can someone explain why they let the work of someone blatantly fetishizing Angel and Valentino's relationship leak into the final product? I don’t even care that Raphielle or Vivienne have a nonconsensual fetish but we can all agree that his content depicting the two men will be inrentently for gooning purposes right? Or am I crazy for saying that?!

Okay, I wanna be clear, Raphielle can do everything he wants what I care about is that his fetishistic content was referenced in the shows.

→ Here’s one of his works. Go at 2:45 if you wanna skip the sexual stuff

→ Click here for more proof

The idea of Angels Dust being “sexy” while his image is projected on screens is from Raphielle II, his work is for sexual gratification but Medrano still referenced it despite Raph being pretty vocal about it.

And that’s not all.

Yes, Vivienne, it’s great marketing to make a cum joke about visuals displaying rape. Because in case y’all forgot all of the sex scenes in the clip are non-consensual from Angel Dust's perspective.

Am I supposed to believe that this woman cares when not only she has a double standard only showing rape and sexual assault as a whole in a bad way when it comes to her favorite character?

Am I supposed to believe that she cares when she associates herself with a fetishizer and references his work in her show?

Why did Stromae managed to make me care about an unnamed fictional dead woman in the spam of 3:57 when she just irked me in 20 minutes with her so-called “well done” representation of sex workers?

Is that really what people call a realistic presentation? How does someone manage to fumble so hard on every aspect of the series, I’m starting to believe that Hazbin Hotel is just rage-bait with the lack of respect she puts into it.

That’s all for me if anyone wants to add anything, the comments are there.

[alphajocklover]

I'm 23 and have been obsessed with body-building for years. I'm nowhere near big though. I'd love to be blown up into an absolutely massive freak. I wanna struggle to fit through door ways, I want furniture to bend under me. I want most guys I hit on to think I'm too big.

Please can you blow me up and grow me into the biggest bodybuilder possible.

It’s finally time for another one of my personal transformations. It’s been a little bit since I helped turn that guy into a bodybuilder jock with a supernova charged battery, but last time was so much fun I knew I had to do it again when the chance came up. I guess the only real question is what transformation method is right for you. I could always use the supernova battery again, or one of the other transformation methods I mentioned in my first personal transformation, but if I’m being honest part of the fun last time was sharing all the ways I could transform people. So how about we take a look at some of my newer transformation methods.

Your first choice is a CD. It’s a special video made for me by a local football coach who has recently introduced the Jock Studies program to his school. I reached out in the hope of getting an interview with him, and just got this in return. Not even a proper response. It’s… kind of an obvious trap too. I mean, I ask a bunch of people who are famous for turning people into submissive jocks to give me an interview, and they send me an unmarked CD? I mean, you can’t report on this kind of stuff like I do without someone trying to transform you eventually. I was actually kind of honored that they considered me enough trouble to target me… but not enough to actually watch the video. You can have the CD if you want. I’m absolutely certain you’d turn into a massive jock. Although you’d also be incredibly submissive to the coaches who made this, which might not be your jam. Let’s look at the others before you decide at least.

Your next option is a bit complicated. It’s a time machine, recently stolen from a group named the SAD (society against douchebags) by the Douchebag Revolution. I did a favor for them recently so they gave me this. Said they could trust me to use it responsibly. Well, sort of. The way they said it included a lot more ‘bros’ and ‘fuck yeahs’ but that was basically the gist. Anyways, we could use it to change you by changing your past. A little manipulation of your life and you could end up a bodybuilder. The thing is that time travel is… risky. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? That’s why I try to avoid time travel as much as possible. Too much can go wrong. Let’s move onto something else, since this one is so… unpredictable.

How about this one? It’s water from a familiar little town called Maxford, the one that turns anyone who enters it into a straight, conservative jock or bimbo. Turns out drinking water that’s bottled inside the town has similar effects. Turns you into your Maxford self for 24 hours. You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to get this. Entering Maxford was an… interesting experience. Um, anyways, it might not be the best choice for you. It’s temporary, and it will turn you straight the entire time you’re a hunk. That can be fun to try, but I get the feeling you want something more permanent. Let’s look at something else

Finally is a specially made necklace, a gold chain with a miniature dumbbell pendant. It’s made by a jewelry store chain that might sound familiar to you if you’ve read some of my earlier stories: EB Jewelry. Normally these are pretty expensive, and you’d have to buy them directly from EB Jewelry, but there was a mistake with manufacturing and they ended up with a surplus of these things. I bought a ton of them and wouldn’t mind parting with one. Put it on and you’ll transform into a total bodybuilder jock. More than that, I can give you more than one. You can share them with your friends, make an entire group of bodybuilder jocks that barely fit through doors. Yeah, that one is definitely the best choice. Go ahead, try it on.

Fuck you look good. You seem quite a bit dimmer now, which is to be expected, but god you look like walking sex. Make sure to share those necklaces with your friends. Using more than one might have… side effects. Plus, the more huge jocks, the better.

[shortkinglogan]

Comparing Wade and Logan's healing factors

I keep reading fics that seem unsure about how their individual healing factors work and differ so I'm making this post to help clear it up for anyone who cares (if you just wanna make stuff up for fun more power to ya)

Let's start with

Logan

As far as what he can heal from, it seems as long as there is a small amount of his genetic code, and as long as it gets enough energy, he can regenerated from just about anything.

He needs tons of calories to maintain the healing factor normally.

He can even regenerated from just a skeleton and it only takes a few minutes to happen.

He isn't seen reattaching limbs but I'd assume this is possible under the right conditions, for the same reasons Wade can do it.

There's also the rest of his abilities that are directly effected by his healing factor.

Without the admantium on his bones, his healing factor isn't constantly working, and his senses and instincts become more powerful, making him more likely to go feral. He also cannot regenerated the admantium because it wasn't a natural part of him to begin with.

Feral Logan is like a mental state he regresses into, he has been without the admantium and still not fully feral, seemingly because he has some people to anchor him, though he is still more animalistic like this. He can even be pulled back out of that mental state by just the scent of someone he cares about.

Wade

His healing is very similar to Logan's, yet also very different.

Wade also can regenerated from just a drop of blood if it can get energy to do so, for Wade, instead of an energy crystal thing, it's Logan's energy, growing off him like an ear on a mouse.

His healing factor works about as fast as Logan's as well able to regenerated quickly when needed. Unlike Logan though, Wade has been seen reattaching limbs instead of just growing them back, but it makes sense both could do it, Logan just keeps getting those dismembered limbs thrown miles away or destroyed so he didn't get a chance as far as I know to do the same as Wade.

Now this i see being weirdly interpreted and I feel like I know what's going on.

Its not a "dying factor" it's still a healing factor, it's just weird because of how CANCER works. Cancer is not dead cells, it's mutated constantly growing cells, so a healing factor would not pick that up as something to kill off or heal from, so wades cancer just spread until his entire body, skin bones and all, are nothing but cancerous cells, and stopping the cancer stops the healing because it stops the cells from regrowing, this, stopping his healing (of he wasn't made of cancer he may still be able to heal even if the cancer was stopped)

What his healing factor is constantly working on however is the effects of all this cancer on his body, he probably experiences a different organ failing on him and regrowing almost every day. So what would happen if he had no cancer to make his healing factor constantly work? Could he go feral too?

Short answer no, in fact, Logan's feral state is more because of his other abilities than the healing factor, I feel like a Wade without the cancer would be like Nicepool, not in constant pain and trying to cover it up, not mentally unstable due to many brain tumors, and doesn't really have a reality hole in his brain.

Also in the comics at least, not MCU Wade, he is cursed with immortality by Thanos cause he was jealous Wade was with death romantically, so he literally cannot die, and the healing factor is no longer even a real player in his inability to die.

So in conclusion

Their healing factors work basically in the exact same way, just has a different effect on each of them due to their respective personal traits (cancer brain vs animal brain)

Neither is better than the other, they are equals, at least until Wade starts mackin on death and becomes immortal.

You just can't kill them without starving them first, and even then we know Logan will eat himself (and feed his flesh to Wade) before allowing either to starve.

Side note, they definitely can age (or at least, Logan does, Wade being immortal and all can't now) even with the healing factor, it doesn't stop aging, but it does make him able to live WAY longer than any normal human. Gotta give some love to old man Logan.

If anyone thinks I've missed something or has theories for things that aren't solid confirmed that differ from my own please lmk! ���💛

[boy-cow000]

Nervous

Newt x gn!Reader

A/N: This is technically my first real fanfic so pretty exited to share! Too bad its kinda for a dead fandom. Inspired by that one audio

Word count: 692

———————————————————————————

“Do I make you nervous?"

He said. As if it were the easiest thing in the world to say. As if that sentence alone couldn’t just end you right where you stood. As if you weren’t already head over heels for him. So pliable, he could just look at you, and you would bend to his command.

Part of you thought that Newt must’ve known what he was doing to you. It almost felt a little planned on his part. The mellowness of the hastily put-up fairy lights, the bumbling atmosphere of people getting a little more than tipsy off of Gally’s special drink, and the way he was dressed—it must’ve been all just to poke fun at you, right? As he spoke, you couldn’t help but look him up and down. His white cotton shirt draped across his collarbones with a gap, giving you a slight view of his chest and stomach. Too close, you thought.

An awkward silence hit the both of you as you realized that you probably needed to answer. All you could muster was a curt no with a slightly offended intonation.

Newt laughed.

He shifted back into his previous position, a little further from you. You couldn’t really tell whether or not he was satisfied with your answer. His half-decent attempt at continuing the conversation only confused you further. What you hadn’t known was that that question hadn’t come out of nowhere. In reality, Newt was genuinely nervous about the way you acted around him. He hadn’t meant to sound like an overconfident douche, but he didn’t know how else to introduce it into the conversation. From the moment he met you, you had always been kind of avoidant of him. Always staying behind other people when talking to a large group or running off when you two were finally alone. You never really interacted with him directly, and when you did speak, he was usually the one talking.

Newt just wanted to know.

He often compared how you talked with others to the way you talked to him. You were strong, reliable, and kind. You were also relatively social, which is what baffled him the most. So then, why were you so uncomfortable around him? Was he that repulsive?

Tonight was probably the first time in a long time that you didn’t find a lame excuse to run away from him with. He was determined to get his answer. He couldn’t keep letting it eat him alive the way it did. He spent too much of his waking hours thinking about his effect on you.

"No, but really, I know I’m being a bit repetitive, but do I make you nervous?"

“No?! Why would you make me nervous?��

“Well… You keep running away every time I enter the same room as you. Not to mention how you can't seem to look me in the eyes when we are talking.” Newt reassured you that if you weren't comfortable with eye contact or just didn’t like him, then that was totally fine; he just needed to know.

Your heart tore at that. How could he ever assume that you didn’t like him? You knew that your actions had been less than pleasurable towards him, but that was in no way a means to make him feel bad. You couldn’t keep it in longer.

"You do make me nervous.”

Newt’s face tensed, his shoulders perked up, and he readjusted himself to be facing you. The more you explained yourself, however, the more his expression softened. You confessed as quickly as you could, words cascading out as if they were unwanted to begin with. By the time you finished, you were staring at the floor so intensely that you could burn a hole through it.

You didn’t see it, but Newt was beaming. He was more than happy to know that you didn’t have a real issue with him. And after all this time spent thinking nonstop about you, he wasn’t against keeping you in his mind a bit longer.

He had gotten his answer, and now there was nothing holding him back from developing feelings of his own.

[panxramic]

Was just talking about this with a friend but I adore Tallulah’s hat options and how she’s started using them to reflect her emotions/how she’s feeling. I think it’s such good story telling for her because she’s very much an egg that wears her emotions on her sleeve. Before she would just tell people how she’s feeling, communicate it fully with those around her to show that.

This is Minecraft roleplay thus we do not have facial expressions or complete body moments with the egg models so having the hats adds that layer. I’ve always seen Tallulah as the kid who you can read her face like a book. When she’s frustrated and angry she puffs out her cheeks and crosses her arms. When she’s happy she wears a smile so happy and wide and when she’s sad you can physically see it on her face. How her eyebrows down turn and her frown lays there like a permanent mark. Tallulah’s emotions pour out of her like a river into the sea. She feels everything and anything, it’s also how she’s able to somewhat communicate with her dead siblings.

I think the hat thing is good for Tallulah too in general, just so she doesn’t have to talk when she doesn’t feel like it. It helps q!Phil (and others) catch on to how she’s feeling quicker. She uses them for comedic effect as well, which exemplifies how her emotions on her face range so widely. She’ll over dramatize her sadness and anger to get a laugh out of q!Phil, and the hats add that extra layer of drama. It exemplifies who she is as a kid.

I’d also like to talk about Chayanne in this regard because same friend (hi Kash ily Kash) brought up that for him it would be SOO beneficial for him to have som sort of way to display how he is feeling as an aid sort of? With Tallulah I see it more as her physically features changing or her acting a certain way but with Chayanne it’s a physical object he has that tells others how he is feeling. Both of them having a similar gimmick but used/come off in different ways because they’re different kids.

Chayanne is a kid that always has trouble wording things and speaking his mind. He’s quiet and his emotions are locked away. Some things you can notice, like how he moves slower or zones out more when he’s sad. But he never speaks up about it until he can’t hold it in anymore. Not only would it benefit him but it would benefit q!Phil as well.

q!Phil CANNOT tell when Chayanne is sad unless there is a specific or drastic change in his character, and there usually isn’t. It’s easier for him to tell with Tallulah, he’s usually good at understanding when she’s sad or off but that’s also because Tallulah is much more expressive. So when she’s quiet even for 5 minutes, he knows something is off. You can’t follow that logic with Chayanne.

And it’s not that q!Phil doesn’t care, let’s make that clear. In fact, he’s beaten himself up over it, he’s felt horrible in the past for not being able to tell when his son was feeling bad. And it’s exemplified by how for the first time Tallulah hid her feelings from q!Phil too and that’s the only time he couldn’t tell something was wrong.

q!Phil’s emotional intelligence is not high, he struggles a lot with understanding how someone else might feel. He goes off of assumptions (which can be very dangerous) or what he’s told.

So, with Chayanne, having a little symbol or object that shows when he’s sad or angry or scared, it would benefit them both. Chayanne who doesn’t know how to say how he’s feeling and q!Phil who can’t grasp emotions that well unless told directly.

[adilynnyuri]

So - I am here again ;-) - first at all I want to thank you again and tell you how grateful I am to have you by my side on my journey - your advise and own experiences help me so much, they boost my mindset and help me to move on. Although I am so thankful that you talk about revision of death with me and the other two guys sharing my revision journey - it's so tremendously helpful for me and when I am doubting I often come back to all that stuff over and over again and it gives me hope and power to persist. Your words are so eye-opening for me and they really hit my crucial issues.

As you answered to the other person who shares my journey, incase of revising death the pivotal issue are our deep programmes (assumptions!) about death. So these programmes always popup as intrusive thoughts. You always highlight that it doesn't matter if we feel bad when affirming. So do you think that by moving on with robot affirming resistance decreases over time or is it possible to saturate your mind although sometimes there are these thoughts? I try to get better and better in robot affirming and I really see progress. I feel much less resistance and I noticed that I more often have reallly good feelings. But then sometimes it hits down in my stomach and these intrusive programmes pop up again...So I dont know if this will affect my manifestation.

It also hit me that you answered me that if I assume that "revising death is a piece of cake process - then it will be!" You have literallly scanned my mind! ;-) Yes - I assume that it's a BIG deal and so it will take a QUANTUM step. So you really unlocked one of my cornerstone assumtions and now I feel some first progess of letting go this belief!

One big issue I also deal with is that I lived together with my mum, so I miss her in my daily life and so much things remind me of the loss. Also other people remind me. I then actually try to say to myself that this isn't my reality and keep affirming then. But in these moments instrusive thoughts become stronger and I feel that this triggers my doubtring and wavering regarding the naturalness. Do you have some advise to manage this in a less wavering way? How did you do it with your uncle? And how your uncle first appeared in your 3D again or was this so fluent that you can't describe this?

When it comes to affirming and saturating: I affirm: "Mum is healthy, happy and right by my side." I will add the "Creator-Formula" ;-) you advised to use (I think it will be very helpful to build up a better self concept...). I visualize occasionally and during the day I sometimes shortly remind little splits of my visualizations: I then often say to myself: "I am looking forward when we can do X or Y. " or "I have to tell you so many things." Is this future relation in these statements ok in this case or should I adapt that to a more "present" tense wording?

And as a last question: If my biggest wish is the revision, but I would like to adapt some other circumstances around to create a more comfortable and relaxed life for us: Would it be more effective to first focus on the revison and then manifest these other things later on? Or doesnt it matter, so that I can add some other affiormations I want to become true? So the question is here, if it is more effective to first manifest the biggest wish or if it just doesnt matter and we can directly add some further affirmations for other things/circumstances? Does it matter how much time we affirm for a change?

Thanks again - my angel - you are so kind!

Hii love! 🤍

I am so so happy that you understood what I said and also implemented that into your reality!! PROUD OF YOU BABE! 💋

HOW DID MY MANIFEST MY COOL UNCLE BACK (ANOTHER VAUNT ABOUT MY UNCLE 🤭)

Ig the overall question of you is how to stop wavering. The answer is very simple - affirm

Everything is so simple babe!

As you already know,

Dominant thoughts = your actual reality

I understand that wavering comes up when you are "trying" To manifest something "bigger" But no shit is bigger for you to manifest.

The only thing bigger is the power you hold to manifest anything you want!

I suggested robotic affirmations because I manifested my uncle back with robotic affirmations.

"How your uncle first appeared in your 3d"

Well, simple. Everyone was grieving for his loss everyday and i was sitting and affirming that he ain't dead🤓☝🏻

Literally bruh, everyday some people will come to my home and will remind me about his loss!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK☝🏻

Kept affirming, affirming and affirming that i got my shit and all the negative shit goes to trash. No intrusive thoughts can affect me!

Even I was missing him alot coz he was my favorite uncle ever.... Used to buy me lot of kpop related stuffs + his character and personality is *chefs kiss*

As I was robotically affirming (i don't really remember how many days) and ig it took me about a week to saturate my mind. And boom! Within few days, he just walked into my home like nothing have never happened and bought me chocolates too! 💀

All of my family members were not surprised when he walked into my home and everyone was just casually inviting him.

*Meanwhile me 👁👄👁 knowing that manifested him back with just affirming*

But i was not shocked. (I was shocked) 😭

BUT IT LASTED ONLY FEW SECONDS THEN AGAIN I REMINDED MYSELF THAT I AM THE MASTER OF THIS REALITY.

And because of this "big manifestation" I became more STRONGER like SO MUCH STRONGER!

Me be like "nobody can stop me here afterwards"

🦹‍♀️🦸🏻‍♀️

[razzdazzledoo]

How do you feel about people roleplaying as MX?

Alright everyone, sit down. I've been waiting for this moment.

Welcome to

RAZZDAZZLEDOO'S QUICK GUIDE TO WRITING MX!!

For those who wanna be in-line with the character while still having the freedom of not being canon.

So first things first, let's get the ground basis with MX.

MX does what he does for the reactions it brings, that kinda stuff is his entertainment. So he plans ahead, hoping to find the best snowball effect for the strongest look of terror on people's faces.

Though he doesn't plan THAT much, he gets a ground base and then improvises the rest of it so it's hard to plan ahead against him.

He's also not meant to be intimidating all the time either, his playmates will get bored if it's the same song and dance so he plays into other personalities to throw them off.

When their guard's down? He strikes while the iron's hot. And that makes them terrified even more.

Second, how he interacts with other people.

It ultimately depends on what the other person's like. Are they exactly like him? Do they have the potential to be? Or are they like Lucas where they clearly fear him?

Those kinda aspects will play into the chemistry MX can have with a person. He's best friends with Executable M and Mr. Virtual for a reason, they're just like him in the sense of 'tormenting for their own entertainment' along with whatever goals they have.

If they show fear, he'll play into it. He'll show them reasons to fear him, and then the next moment deceive them into believing there's some good in his heart. Only to then tear down those chances, and watch them crumble.

"What if I wanna ship my MX roleplay with someone?"

You have the freedom to do that, don't let me restrict you from having fun. I'll provide how he would, in-character, respond to romance. But I wanna get some rules down first.

Do not be sexual with him. That kinda shit makes me incredibly uncomfortable, not to mention I don't see him ever showing interest to the thought.

Do not ship him in problematic scenarios. This can include: People in the victim role, like MX took their soul and put them in a vessel; Characters who are directly stated to be minors; And characters that use Luigi's likeness. I outright forbid this and will not hesitate to block you if I see it.

Build up to it. MX obviously isn't going to know what the hell a "relationship" is, he's never entertained the idea and so it's going to take some time for him to learn. He's gonna have to figure out why he feels the way he does around that specific person, whether with their guidance or not.

He knows that humans can feel love, and how they respond to it, since he's been around since the universe's creation; but he personally doesn't know much on the subject.

When he realizes he's actually capable of love, he's not gonna know how to respond to it. He might even outright avoid the person he feels those emotions to since he has not an iota of knowledge with relationships.

If your interpretation of MX has an actual friendship with other muses, and he gets along greatly, he might go to them about it as a show of trust and they can help him figure it out.

Otherwise, he'd try and leave "gifts" for his special someone. Like a cat bringing you a dead bird, for comparison. Most of his gifts are eldritch abominations though, like a smaller version of one of his clouds in his world as an example.

On the other hand, if his special someone went to him first about pursuing a relationship and he does feel love towards them as well; He'd go along with it, essentially being a big giant teddy bear for them if he thinks it'd be funny enough.

If someone tries to pursue a relationship with him and he feels no attraction, he just kinda messes with them about it. Poking fun that they'd fall in love with a monster like him, who'd never love them back.

There's no canon MX ship, I just personally lean more towards Powerforest since it's a comfort ship of mine.

"What are some other tips?"

If your interpretation of MX can frown, make it have impact. That brute smiles all the time, regardless of the situation; So if he frowns, that's gonna have to mean something.

Canonically if MX frowns, he's locked in. He's not gonna waste time playing around, he wants you DEAD.

Don't be afraid to be silly sometimes.

It'd get awful boring real quick if MX was one-dimensional in a roleplay scenario, having something like that can give him way more depth and I encourage it.

You don't need to follow this guide exactly, but please still be respectful of the boundaries I expressed in here.

This is not meant to be a rulebook on how to write MX, you still have the freedom to write him how you feel most comfortable with writing him. This is just how I go about writing the character in my own spaces.

[calware]

You might've answered something like this before but how do you pick colours for your art? Your choices are always so striking, visually interesting and delightful. I would love to learn your ways. (also hi)

WAAHHHH THANK YOU <3 <3 (also hi!!) first of all i do have a post from quite a while back with some general tips that you can check out, but my process has changed a bit since then so i can definitely elaborate a little bit more!

observation

this first tip is not very straightforward (sorry) but something i try to do is pay attention to the colors and lighting in the real world and try to remember what moments really stick with me. like when you're watching the sunset and the light from the sky washes everything in pink and tints the buildings orange, or when it's dusk and the light blue of the sky contrasts with the dark blues of everything that's in shadow, or looking in a lake and all the greens, browns, and blues mix together in rich jewel tones

i try to keep track of these things & the emotions they make me feel (almost like taking notes in a mental journal) so i can try referencing them when i want a certain drawing to feel a certain way. AGAIN this is really not straightforward and i don't really know how helpful it actually is...? but i find that observation can be a really helpful tool and i find myself doing it a lot

references

sort of the same as the last point BUT using preexisting photos and artwork instead! this one is more straightforward because you can actually reference them as you are drawing. i said this in the other post i made but i think that looking at other images and asking yourself "how is the artist/photographer using the colors to make it look this way? how do i recreate that?" and using that as a way to study their use of colors can be really helpful. if you find a drawing that has cool colors, try using those colors in your own drawings and see how they look!

that said, i would try to avoid color-picking things directly because i find that if you try choosing them on your own you 1) gain a better understanding of what you're doing 2) have more control over what you're doing and 3) you can "push" your colors in ways you might not if you color-pick directly

play with contrasting hues

i think this might just be a personal preference, but i find that i'm not as big of a fan of monochromatic images, and i prefer it when drawings utilize a wide variety of hues. this goes especially for ones that implement more contrast in the hues (not necessarily where the colors have more contrast in value, but rather contrast as in they're further apart on the color wheel)

for example, in this drawing, everything is washed in green light except for rose's skin, which is a very saturated reddish-brown. this is sort of what i mean by "pushing" the colors because, in a realistic setting, a person sitting in green lighting is going to have a more greenish-looking skin tone (like in this drawing). you can see this in how the whites of the drawing—her hair and eyes—are greenish, but i made the stylistic choice to not do the same with her skin to create contrast between the two hues

i edited the one on the bottom to match the green-ness of the rest of the image, and the effect is pretty noticeable! green light makes people look less lively, almost sickly (which is good to use if that's the feeling you want to show, of course)

another small example of this is in this drawing where i use a couple of different hues in davesprite's body. overall, it registers as orange, but i like to ever-so-slightly introduce a bit of green to contrast with the orange, letting the lightest values tip into the greens instead of stopping at yellow to contrast with the muted red in the wings. the darkest values are purple, which also contrasts with the yellow parts. the only hue missing from this image is blue! the colors are all still analogous, and the greens and purples are a lot less saturated than the oranges and yellows, so nothing clashes and overall leads to a more subtle contrast

the colors on the top are the ones from the image, while the ones on the bottom i see used a lot more commonly—which isn't a bad thing! i just think it looks nice to use a wide range of hues because of the way they complement each other :)

other than these strategies, my process varies greatly depending on what i'm working on, so it's difficult to get any more specific than this (unless you'd like to ask about the process of a specific drawing!) there isn't really any step-by-step method i use for every drawing i make, usually i am doing something different each time based on the goals i have for the project

[jae-bummer]

Irritably in Love

Request: hiiiihiiiii!!!!! would you write a story with seungmin from stray kids using the prompt where a non bias member confessed to you when your bias [aka seungmin] in also in the room?? the only additional thing i ask is no love triangle or poly situation. thankies🫰🏽

Prompt:

18) A member (who is not your bias) confesses to you while your bias is in the room.

Pairing: Stray Kids Seungmin x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

"Come on, scaredy cat," Seungmin grinned, poking you in the cheek. "It's just a movie."

"A movie that has no effect on you because your weird little mind has already been warped," you grumbled, settling deeper into the couch beside him.

"It's okay, Y/N," Hyunjin hummed, appearing with popcorn that smelled suspiciously burnt. "You can hide in my shoulder if things get too intense."

Seungmin rolled his eyes as he looked up at the older member. "Then what happens when you get scared?"

"I don't get scared," Hyunjin laughed as he sat on the opposite side of you.

"Bug!" Seungmin shouted, pointing to the cushion beside Hyunjin.

Letting out an impressively high-pitched screech, Hyunjin flung the bag of popcorn to the floor before scooting directly into your lap. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

You couldn't help but laugh at Hyunjin's dramatics. It was an undeniable fact that he was the king of being fooled, so you weren't surprised that he played right into Seungmin's hands.

"Stupid," Seungmin cackled, pushing at Hyunjin's back in what appeared to be an attempt to get the taller boy off of you.

Hyunjin's panicked expression fell into a sheepish smile. Covering his face in his hands, he wiggled from side to side. "Protect me, Y/N!"

"How the tables have turned!" you joked, wrapping your arms around the noodle of a boy.

Glancing to Seungmin, you noticed an annoyed expression had worked its way onto his features. Avoiding eye contact, he stood, and went to pick up the popcorn pieces that Hyunjin had dropped.

While Seungmin's default mode could often be set at generally annoyed, it was never directed at you. For the entirety of your friendship, he was pretty wonderful, albeit it merciless when it came to teasing. That was one of your favorite parts about him though. He had a certain way of telling you about yourself that made you feel like you were in on the joke. You never felt singled out or targeted by his words, but just a victim of his love language. He was almost always on the defensive, but it was cute in an abrasive way (which may have been the best way to describe him as a whole).

If you hadn't had the self-control you did, you would have fallen in love with him a long time ago. With his demanding schedule, and your general aversion to thinking people could possibly have a crush on you, it was relatively easy. While you loved nearly every part of that bony, bobblehead of a man, you could be realistic. He would never see you that way.

Chewing on your lip, you looked back to Hyunjin who had apparently settled in for a cuddle. He glanced at you carefully, his face much too close for your comfort.

Hyunjin had always been a bit of an enigma to you. It was as if he existed on a separate plane that you could never quite understand. He was easily charming and extremely open. The two of you could talk for hours about nothing at all. You couldn't quite pin down the otherworldly nature of him, but you weren't sure if you needed to.

"Hey, Y/N," he said quietly, looking directly into your eyes.

You could see Seungmin go still in your periphery as he caught the hint of Hyunjin's whisper.

"Hey, Hyunjinnie," you said carefully, trying to gauge when the vibe around you had shifted.

Hyunjin slid himself backwards off of your lap and into the spot where Seungmin was originally sitting. Gathering his long legs to his body, he wrapped his arms around his calves, and settled his attention back on you. "I've been thinking about this for awhile..."

"Maybe you should think about it a little longer," Seungmin muttered, moving to sit down next to you. "We have a movie to watch."

"Seungmin," Hyunjin groaned. "Just give me a second."

"A second has passed," Seungmin said in monotone, tapping at the remote for the television.

"Y/N," Hyunjin tried again.

This caused Seungmin to groan and slump his body against the back of the couch.

You shifted your eyes back over to Hyunjin, waiting.

"I've been thinking about this theory for a while," he nodded slowly. "You know, how all of us are made from the same material as stars...and... I've really decided that our two souls, you and I, were born from the same star."

"Oh," you croaked, unable to move your eyes from Hyunjin's hopeful expression. You weren't entirely sure what he was getting at, but you had an idea.

"We're all made of star stuff," Seungmin grumbled. "I could be part of the same star as you, Hyunjin."

"No," Hyunjin insisted, shaking his head. Reaching out, he set his hand lightly a top of yours. "There's this feeling I get when I'm around you, Y/N. This completeness. It's fate that we've found each other millions of years after our star died."

"I can't," Seungmin gasped, launching up from the couch. "Absolutely ridiculous."

You watched as he shuffled toward the balcony, cursing quietly along the way. Pulling the sliding door open with a bang, he glared over his shoulder at Hyunjin before stepping out into the chilly night air and slammed it shut again.

"Hyunin, what are you trying to say?" you said quietly, now only able to focus on his fingers covering yours.

"I'm not trying to say anything," he chuckled. "I'm saying it directly. This is my confession to you, Y/N. Do you accept me?"

The truth you were trying to avoid was now outlined so plainly. Never in all of the time you had known him had you guessed Hyunjin could have a crush on you. It was a shock in a way, but with how romantic he was, it seemed on brand. You weren't even entirely sure if he liked you, or just the idea of you. That was the issue with Hyunjin. He was easily wrapped up in his own poetic ideals so much so that you weren't sure that he recognized they didn't necessarily apply here.

"Hyunjin, I-" you began, but were immediately startled by the thud coming from the direction of the balcony. Looking up, you could see Seungmin had pressed his forehead against the glass and was now staring intently at the two of you.

Shaking your head in an attempt to get your thoughts together, you looked back toward Hyunjin. "Do you really like me?"

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brows. "I literally just launched into a speech-"

"Which was very nice," you continued. "But also, were you thinking up those words before you met me and just happened to find someone that they might apply to?"

"I, uh," Hyunjin stumbled, confusion painting his handsome face. "Well, I mean, I've had dreams about who I thought I'd be with."

"I very much appreciate what you said to me," you nodded. "But Hyunjin, we're just friends."

"Friends," he repeated dumbly. "Right."

"I'm sorry," you whispered. Glancing toward Seungmin again, you could hardly stand the moody look covering his face as well. "I just...if I'm being honest, I have feelings for someone else."

Hyunjin looked up with a cringe. Catching the direction your eyes were staring, he let out a hiss of understanding. "Seungmin."

"Seungmin," you nodded in agreement.

"Well," Hyunjin sighed. "I guess I can't be too torn up. I should have known better, really."

"Thank you for baring your heart to me," you smiled sadly. "But I think you still have some stardust to reunite with."

"Maybe," Hyunjin grumbled. You could tell he was trying to act unbothered. "Thanks for letting me down in a nice way. I think it helps the crushing weight of being alone."

You let out a laugh. "Did it?"

"Not really," Hyunjin smiled tentatively. Finally taking his hand from yours, he pulled you in for a one-armed hug instead. "Go talk to him."

"Thank you," you said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah," Hyunjin grumbled. "You'll make it up to me sometime."

You nodded before pulling yourself off the couch. Your heart was fluttering in your chest, and you weren't entirely sure if you could handle the other half of this conversation so soon.

Seeing your approach, Seungmin stepped back from the door, and yanked it open. Stepping gingerly out onto the balcony, you slid it behind you again.

"Are you two strolling happily into the sunset?" Seungmin chuckled bitterly. Spinning so he wouldn't have to look at you, he set his forearms on the balcony railing.

"Quite the opposite," you hummed, taking a spot beside him. "I'm pretty sure I yeeted all of his hopes directly into the sun instead."

Seungmin's head swiveled toward you and his brow furrowed. "You didn't return his feelings?"

"Nope," you sighed. "I have feelings for someone else."

"Great," Seungmin croaked, looking away again.

After a moment of silence, he straightened and faced you. "Look, I know you weren't really expecting to hear two guys make a fool of themselves tonight but let me get this out."

You tried not to appear amused as you gave him your full attention.

"Y/N," he said sternly. "I never thought I would care about someone like this. I get it. Love is this unpredictable, unexpected...thing that just forces itself upon you, but frankly, it's been miserable."

You lifted your brows in surprise but remained silent.

"This feeling," he continued, his eyes searching your face. "This feeling that I have...it's going to explode out of my chest. It's too big. These emotions...they aren't even mine anymore. There is so much of you rooted in me that I don't even belong to me anymore and it's really very irritating."

This time you couldn't hold the huffed laugh that escaped from your lips.

"If you could just...please," he finally said, defeated. "Please either give my heart back...or if I'm lucky, give me yours instead. I know I'm annoying, and I know I can be prickly, but-"

As soon as his confession turned into whatever flaws he assumed he had, you wouldn't let it go on any longer. Closing the space between you while he was still in mid-sentence, you leaned forward and placed the lightest kiss on his still moving lips.

Well, that shut him up.

Looking at you with wide eyes, he touched his fingertips gingerly to his mouth and remained very still.

"Here I am," you smiled slowly. "Giving myself to you, as requested."

"I'm sorry," Seungmin said, his voice much hoarser than it had been previously. "Is this real? I just need to confirm I am not hallucinating."

You laughed as you reached up and cradled his cheek. "You impossible boy."

"Not hallucinating," he confirmed, placing his fingers lightly atop of your hand holding his face. "Maybe you should kiss me again just so we can make sure."

You chuckled as he rested his forehead against yours. "If that will convince you."

"Great," Seungmin said quietly. "I'm going to need to be thoroughly convinced, just saying."

[zephyrstargame]

well here's something I can do!

this is a little spin on an idea i've been seeing around that i think is wonderful... I personally, am not in the best financial place to be donating, but i can use my platform as a game developer to help out and do something cool at the same time :3

In exchange for donating esims to gaza, I'm gonna populate the world of Zephyr Star with your characters as NPCs! currently: OPEN!!

Here's the deal-- scurry on over to gazaesims.com to figure out how to buy and donate an esim to the people who need em-- any plan works for me, as long as you're gettin something out there!

then slip into my DMs (or anywhere else you can contact me directly) and show me a screenshot of the email, preferably with timestamps for proof that it's from after this post was posted... or really, any proof that you did do the thing-- also show me:

a reference image for what character you want me put in the game

what this character should say as an NPC (just a few lines at most) (optional; if you'd like i can just write some general dialogue instead)

how you would like to be credited in the in-game credits (ie what name i should put)

below the cut are some submission guidelines and extra notes, please also read that if you're interested :>

here are some general submission guidelines:

nothing too lewd, please!

or racist

or otherwise offensive

fandom ocs MIGHT be fine if they're Legally Distinct enough from the source material, but try not to get me sued here

In general, this game's world has No Humans, but that's not a strict requirement-- just a general suggestion

and keep in mind that characters with super intricate details might have to be simplified in order to work as pixel art

otherwise, anything works! furries, robots, sentient objects, your cat, whatever

and here's some notes, so you know what to expect:

i'll take anywhere between a few hours to a few days to finish, depends on how i'm feeling... either way, i'll tag you in a new post when i'm done!

the character will be done in small pixel art, with maybe some additional effects if i feel it works for the design

i will adjust the sprite size depending on the character-- an average sized character is drawn on a 32x32 canvas but if it's like a giant or really tall or something, i'd make it bigger so that the scale is accurate

everyone also gets a zoomed in headshot for the dialogue portrait

no secret bosses, shopkeepers, or other special story purpose for now, sorry! these are just some guys that stand around and say 1 or 2 lines as you go about your adventure

im putting the characters in various places at random, but if you want your guy to be in a certain type of location in-game let me know

this game is STILL in relatively early development-- but i do promise that each and every submission will be in there by the end! it might take yeaaaars for the full game to finally be out, but i'll be posting screenshots as I put em in the game so you know im not slacking around :>

and alongside the screenshot, i'll also post the sprites on their own if you'd like to save them for yourself

legal stuff uhhhhh im not good at legal stuff-- by participating, you are giving me permission to use your submitted character in the final game-- credit will be given in-game where you would expect to see it (the credits) and i will not claim ownership of any of your guys

(cartoon mafia boss voice) if at any point you want your character scrubbed out of the game, or you want anything changed, let me know in my DMs or anywhere else you can contact me and *click* *sinister laugh* we'll make it happen

no money goes to me ever, im not even gonna be the middlesnake between you and the esims-- i just think its less of a hassle to work this way -w-

did i get everything? i think that's everything... if i forgot something important sorry i'm a scatterbrain failgirl who has never done anything like this before im trying my best okay

may the rift be filled with your cool little guys! but more importantly, let's keep gaza connected! free palestine! 🍉

[punkascas]

okay, so i don't want to, like, Start Something or whatever so we're doing a barely-tagged, separate post. i also realise this is mostly pointless because others have already said what i'm going to say, and did it better, with far more grace, and sound less like an asshole than i do.

but jesus louise helen christ, the weird fucked up ideas people have around abuse and personal responsibility and the effect of trauma. like as an abuse and csa survivor, it genuinely alarms me to read posts that use arguments i remember my dad making. like, i'm assuming most of this rhetoric comes from gen z — maybe that's inaccurate; maybe that's unfair. but right now i'm very much Having A Moment Here that the kids aren't alright.

no 22-year-old should be repeating the same awful, manipulative, logically and morally bankrupt justifications for violence and torture my dad says. like literally what's in the first two episodes of ofmd s2 is torture.

i love ed; he's an amazing character. taika is hella wowza top marks acting him. but like.

like.

torture, my dude. physical and psychological. trauma. harassment. that we see the lasting effects of through s2.

just. i. what??

so here we go, okay. have too many, zealously highlighted screenshots so i can dig into details.

cut to save your dashes. content warning for discussions of abuse and trauma (if that wasn't obvious), as well as spoilers for ofmd s2.

re: ed knew what he was doing was wrong and felt guilty about it at the time:

we have no on-screen, textual examples of this. not in the dialogue; not in the acting; not in the blocking; not in the cinematography or music. nothing.

knowing the crew are overworked and kind of traumatised by all the violence, ed bribes them with cake. because, as we know, cake like tea fixes everything. only ed wasn't even with them to share in the eating of the cake. he made izzy responsible for that. he doesn't give the crew a break; he doesn't choose less ethically-fraught prizes to hunt. there is not one scene of ed talking directly to the crew — until he points a gun at each of them.

we see ed crying (and drinking, and rhino horn-ing [way to help further extinction, man]) but it's always paired with shots or flashbacks that reference stede. ed is still all up in his feelings about stede, and ed confirms this when he tells frenchie the myth about albatrosses never needing to return to land. ed cannot go back, does not want to go back, because he was rejected. (like, stede is literally landed gentry, come on!) all he wants to do instead is stay at sea committing to this unhinged version of unstable, sadistic piracy.

but okay, okay. say we ignore all of that. let's say ed does feel sorry and guilty and ashamed of his actions. he knows what he's doing is wrong and unfair and cruel. that it's harming others. that it's particularly harming the dude that ed has, for better or worse, basically spent his life with (izzy; i mean izzy). ed… still continues to do the things! how far off are we at this point from the definition of malicious? you know action x hurts person b and then you do it anyway. is that honestly a better, happier, more ethically defensible reading of the character?

re: the crew didn't mutiny because they love ed despite his violent, sadistic actions.

mutinies were a thing, yes. but both historically and in the world rules established by the show, mutiny is disincentivised through threats, distraction via extra work, and corporeal punishment. we see both ed and izzy use all three of these to try to prevent the crew from disobeying orders. they didn't wait until the storm and izzy shooting ed to mutiny because they understood or sympathised with ed; they took the chance to kill him then because that was the first real opportunity they'd had. the reward finally out-weighed the risk given that ed was going to kill them all that night anyway.

again, we have no scenes, no dialogue, no visual or audio cues to tell us that the crew understands or loves ed — excluding izzy, obviously. fang could also be on that list, if you take into account his personality and his behaviour both in s1 and later in s2 in the fishing boat scene. but in the first two episodes, we only see the crew show trauma responses around ed. they talk about him but almost never to him. and when they do have a direct conversation with ed, it is either confrontation or head down, submissive, "of course, blackbeard; anything you say" placating. i'm so baffled where the show points to any sign of love from the crew towards ed before his "death".

re: ed can't be held responsible because he was suicidal.

uhm. no. hard no. a harder no than stede's brazilian cherry wood mast. fucked up people do fucked up things but part of being an adult is owning your fucked-upped-ness and not fucking up others while you work on unfucking yourself. children, children are not fully responsible for the impact of their actions on others when they're deep in their feelings, especially if they're feeling their feelings as a trauma response. this is because literally their brain cannot do that kind of control. it doesn't have that software pack installed yet. ed does have all the adult updates installed, even if he isn't running them at that moment. he has no right to take out his feelings on other people: to maim them, to psychologically torture them, to abuse them, to work them to exhaustion. to kill them. he does not get a free pass to do suicide by abused employees. (like suicide by cop but more indirect and passive and harmful.) talk about passive aggressive.

secondly, ed is not just passively suicidal and happy to find new risks that might end his life. he is very purposefully taking izzy with him (see: literally removing the bits of izzy that would help let him walk away from ed; the fact that ed becomes actively suicidal only once he thinks izzy is dead; the whole keeping izzy's corpse in front of his and stede's beach shack i mean inn — the codependence, she runs deep). ed is also putting the crew through the same risks, the same isolation, the same danger. both stede and izzy agreed that ed had gone full scorched earth policy. you don't get forgiven for the murder part of a murder-suicide pact just because of the suicide part. not to mention that no one (once again, you could potentially argue izzy as an exception) was good on a murder-suicide pact with blackbeard.

and then to say the crew felt guilty? i assume i'm misreading that. the crew. felt guilty. for ed's actions. that is, if not victim blaming and if not darvo, a very close inbred cousin of them. like hapsburg jaw inbred close.

re: ed healing and his view of himself as a monster.

to heal means, in part, to accept responsibility for the harm you've caused, whether it was intentional or not. it means making amends. it means building or rebuilding relationships where possible. it means putting the other person or persons' feelings and boundaries and need for safety above your desire for absolution or forgiveness. it means working through your own guilt and shame and anger (or whatever drove you to act the way you did) in a separate space, not with the people you hurt, but someone who can be a step removed, more impersonal and objective to help you reflect and face hard truths as needed. i say this as both someone involved in activism and community reparations and as an abuse survivor who has done nearly 30 years of therapy learning this in order to not hurt people. it's not ed's fault he's fucked up just like it isn't my fault i am. but it is on me, like it is on anyone, to make sure i limited as much as possible the harm i can cause to others because i learned some awful but very effective tricks at a young age to survive.

ed does not really do any of the above. he doesn't say "sorry". he speaks in generalised language. he complains about the cat bell (which he seems to wear only for one day, given the implied timeline with lucius and pete's engagement). i have a model ship on a stand that says "this is a safe space ship" as a joke because i work for the government and have written press releases that sound just like ed's "apology". where you take no responsibility and encourage "the culture" to move on.

so, really, my question becomes: ed sees himself as a monster. in s1, we had enough balance between ed's current actions and his referenced past actions to see this belief as likely untrue. in s2 though — i mean, is it? is that an unfair or inaccurate belief? i can understand how carrying that belief can get in the way of ed's growth and eventual healing but like. from an outside perspective of ed-the-fictional-character. he's not a "good" person. he's capable of and has done and continued to do horrible, cruel things. ethically, can you argue with that statement about him?

re: ed trying to destroy relationships because of his self-worth issues and instead the consequences of his actions proving that he's loved.

this is the point that made me go: right, no, i need to respond. i need to say my piece about this. izzy and the crew suffering ed's violent tyranny and then sticking around on the revenge anyway afterwards is not a sign of love. it is not showing love to bear pain for someone. it not showing love to let someone mistreat you, threaten you, hurt you, maim you. their actions are selfish and done to give them feelings of power and control over you. lying back and thinking of england to get through it is not love. it is absolutely a survival technique. but it is not love when you do it at the expense of yourself or others.

i also disagree that ed was trying to push people away or break his relationships with others. we know from s1 that ed is fairly blasé about whether crew members die. again, we don't see any friendly or intimate exchanges between ed and any of the crew to imply any kind of relationship there beyond "tools who accomplish ed's goals". the one exception, as always, is izzy. and as previously stated, ed seems bound and determined, in a very conscious way, to bring izzy into death with him. ed does everything in his power to make izzy want to kill ed, or at least agree that it's best if ed dies, and to want to kill himself so ed doesn't have to die alone. that isn't ed breaking that relationship; it's making it permanent in a really fucked up shakespearian way. the only relationship we see ed waffle between wanting to keep and wanting to push away is stede. after his corporate "apology" and the fishing trip with fang, all of ed's dialogue is with stede and a little bit with zheng until izzy's death scene. the crew loving ed just isn't a thing, at least not one we're shown. not from either side. ed's relationships are with stede and kind of, sort of with izzy (because he does manage to, if not fully break, do some major damage to that).

love did not save ed. ed wanting to live, because stede came back, because he didn't want to jump off hornigold's cliff in the first place, saved ed. izzy saved everyone else.

so yeah: that's it; that's the post. the rhetoric that abuse is love or that abuse can be "cured" with love or that trauma isn't lasting and serious and has impacts on people's daily lives is just. wild. wild.

and terrifying.

my dad was born in the 40s. why is anyone born in the 80s or later still defending this mindset? it honestly, truly freaks me out.

guess it's good i have a fucking therapy appointment on monday.

[super-paper]

How do you think AFO would be taken out?

Hard to say! All the heroes uniting against him as ~the ultimate evil~ might seem satisfying on some level, but it also plays directly into AFO's toxic comic book narrative and it doesn’t really "engage" with his character in a totally satisfying way, if that makes sense. I'm firmly on team "afo shouldn't get what he wants, Ever" so I'm not a fan of any ending that merrily sends him off into his next life as a "demon lord" instead of actively trying to rip that mask from him. Hori hasn't really let me down on this front, yet-- and as I suspected, it does seem as though chapter 419's AFO is more or less picking up where body!AFO's character arc left off. AFO's core desires as a human and the immensely fragile "heart" he's hidden away are both things that are being directly challenged in the most recent chapter, too:

Izuku, the hero, constantly inspires others to come to his aid because he doesn't hide his humanity, his identity, or his struggles from others-- people see him fighting for his life and realize that he is "just like them," and that motivates them to rush to his side and offer help. Meanwhile, AFO finds himself completely alone because he wont let go of the demon lord role and accept his own humanity. Something something We Still Need To Know His Name smthing sm.

With all of that in mind, I still think the most appropriate way of defeating him involves forcing him to confront his own humanity + weakness in all its ugliness (which Hori has already been doing at a pretty steady rate this arc!) and ultimately forcing him to take responsibility for Yoichi's death. This might seem like a massive leap from the person AFO is right now, but depending on how things go, I do think Hori could pull it off.

Anyway, as for what I would like to see:

Personally, I would like an end where he willingly lets Yoichi go (and by proxy, finally lets Tenko go). Not because I think this would redeem him (it wont) or because I want him redeemed (i don't), but because I do feel like something along these lines would be the natural conclusion to his character arc and the best way to symbolize him accepting death/his mistakes. He came into the world desperately gripping onto Yoichi, and was unable to ever truly live or truly die due to his obsession-- so it makes sense to me that AFO will only be able to leave this world when he finally lets Yoichi go. Like.... even now, we see him stubbornly persisting with the idea of conquering the world even though he feels it's totally pointless-- with the implication that he's doing this because the demon lord role and the captain hero comics are literally the only thing he has atp that still connect him to Yoichi in some capacity.

If I end up being right and the OFA embers now exist within Tenko's body, then ideally, I still want some sort of conversation + resolution between the brothers before Yoichi finally passes on with the rest of the OFA embers. I'll admit that I've never been 100% fond of the idea of reading Izuku & Tenko's story as Yoichi/AFO's "good ending", simply because so much of Tenko's story is about reclaiming his own identity (+ detangling himself from his abusers) and so much of Izuku's story is about finding his own identity-- which is why I feel the final resolution to the OFAFO plot needs to be between AFO and Yoichi, not Izuku and Tenko.

I actually don't want Tenko to kill him! I think I've said this before, but I feel this outcome would be only satisfying to folks who want Tenko to have very surface-level revenge on his abuser w/o thinking about the effect this act would have on Tenko himself. I personally feel it wouldn't do Tenko any favors, mentally, since the crux of AFO's abuse involved convincing Tenko that he only exists to destroy. And people really hate to admit it, but-- Tenko sincerely loved AFO and I don't want him to have to repeat the tragedy of being forced to kill someone he loved all over again (even if they don't deserve that love by any stretch of the word). Like, a lot of people want Tenko to take AFO out the same way he took Kotaro out, but I feel this would only emphasize how Tenko and AFO are trapped in an endlessly repeating cycle.

side note: Kotaro coming directly from AFO's stomach/womb during the 270's vestige realm sequence feels extremely intentional now, what with the constant cannibalism and pregnancy imagery surrounding AFO and Tenko. MHA continues to be a masterful example of visual storytelling and Horikoshi continues to be a straight up freak for no real reason /positive!

A big part of Tenko's healing was always going to involve him confronting his feelings for Kotaro, specifically-- all of his love and disappointment and wishes and anger. And with that in mind, it feels like Hori is setting AFO up to act as a sort of Kotaro proxy for this next stretch of Tenko's character arc (even TomurAFO's current hairstyle and facial structure reminds me of a mix of Kotaro x AFO x Toshi.... Hori really said "Tomura's final character design is gonna be a mish-mash of every potential father-figure who has ever let him down byeeeeee :)" and he was sooooo sick for doing that wtf). Anyway, I know people like to joke about AFOtaro, but honestly, the narrative itself really does justify the read of Tenko being AFO and Kotaro's traumababy lmfao...., 😭

Also worth mentioning is that this iteration of AFO/TomurAFO has pupils, despite there being no Tenko component to his personality at this time. AFO's lack of pupils are textually/canonically meant to convey his inability to "see" others as people, so I'm very interested to see where Hori intends to take things from here.

[shinesurge]

I think it's a side effect of having a slightly bigger audience than before, but this year I've been getting a LOT of questions about offering digital editions of the KC books so I wanted to talk about it out loud for a bit.

There are a bunch of complicated reasons I've never offered the volumes as digital downloads, and I think they mostly boil down to concerns about the pretty embarrassing lack of significant internet presence Kidd Commander has accumulated over the 11 years it's been running. The audience I DO have is very enthusiastic, and let me be clear that I appreciate how unique and cool that is, especially in the era we're in where I really have no business running things the way I do lmao

The problem is, in refusing to do any of the predatory social media bullshit that tricks people into doing advertising for my comic while pretending it's a fandom, and by taking initiative to build fandom spaces for people to hang out in myself, I've created an extremely insular community where folks don't really feel any need to help it grow. "If you build it they'll come" is true, but the other half of that is people going "hey neat this thing builds itself!" and you end up with dozens of fandom posts, hours of discussion, and even fanwork locked away in inaccessible spaces while the pages on the site consistently get no comments or interaction and the public tags are empty.

WHAT does this have to do with digital editions lol

The idea was, a thing that helps set KC apart is the webcomic thing where you're not only checking a site regularly as a routine, but you're building some impression of the author as well. My little news posts are bundled with the pages, the site gives a sense of Environment in way static editions don't. In return for offering nearly a thousand pages of completely free content the reader has to Encounter Me at some point, and be made aware that this is an operation being run by a single person, and that its survival is entirely dependent on other people reading it and supporting it. Going to the site ALSO at least lets people know a comment section /exists/, and there COULD be a community to participate in. You don't get that with the books as much, but the books are almost exclusively going to folks who already read the comic, I don't think they're floating around out there to many people who didn't buy them directly from me after reading it online.

It is objectively easier for people to binge an archive they can carry around offline with them, I completely get it. But I've watched SO many new readers fall in love with this thing in real time as they leave comments behind them through the archive, and even just forming the habit of checking the site regularly really goes a long way towards forming enough of a connection with a reader for them to stick around for the long haul. If you just read it all isolated on your phone, it stops there; it's easy to forget it's an independent operation that desperately needs your support, /I/ have no idea whether you liked it or if people are even reading, and when you're finished you'll move on to something else because there's no visible fandom to engage with.

I don't WANT to think this is what will happen, but it's already been happening here for years even without proper channels. I sort of feel like this would just be facilitating my own demise lmao. All the comics who run the way I do were ALREADY popular back before the landscape shifted to fast-fashion sensibilities, so Girl Genius offering digital editions doesn't really harm them, you know? By the time forums died their community was already so stable and self-sufficient they could quit updating the main story for a whole year and not even feel it. Gunnerkrigg is signed on with fuckin Dark Horse now. People doing the things KC does got in early and stabilized before I even got started, fandom is a different world now and I'm already barely keeping this train running on my own as it is.

But on the other hand: accessibility!! HOW many times have I wanted to engage with something but they WONT LET ME PAY THEM FOR THE THING I WANT so I just leave!! The alternative here isn't "oh if i FORCE THEM to read it online they'll stick around" it's "if i can't read it how i want then i'm skipping it". That makes total sense, /I/ do that! What about people who want the extra content in the books but can't pay international fucking shipping!! It's also an Archival issue, which absolutely kills me, but that's a whole other post lmao. There are extremely good reasons to offer another option for reading my work, but I am so anxious this would just be putting a nail in this stupid coffin I've been building already.

I've been having this conversation a lot, mostly with Lee, but it came up again this morning in an email and regardless of my own feelings: this is a thing people want, a very reasonable thing, and if I fail to provide it that's just bad business. Do y'all here have any thoughts about all this? I would like to give the people what they want and y'all are The People.

Anyway buried way down here so far I'll make another post about it: I /am/ going to offer the specials as digital downloads, permanently in the shop. They're old books by now, I'm having issues keeping them in stock anyway, and they DON'T exist online anywhere, so this isn't technically any skin off my back outside of piracy issues, which. would be a stupid thing to fret about lmao

thanks for reading all this! I'm gonna go sort through pdfs for a while

[darkcircles4lyfe]

The Missing Ingredient

Tonight I was casually rereading the chapters that are about to be adapted in the anime when something hit me, and now I have to talk about it ASAP even if it’s not fully fleshed out. You’re getting insomniac-Lin this time, folks.

So. Chapter 304, the one where Izuku finally gets to speak with the vestiges while he’s unconscious in the hospital, has bugged me since the day it came out. I couldn’t articulate it, but something about the way OFA was explained felt like conjecture, or like it was made up on the fly. Idk, it just seemed kinda weak. The detail that I think gets overlooked is that this “lore” is, in fact, conjecture. All Might’s, specifically. It’s his research and logical assumption that led to the conclusion that quirkless people are the only ones able to handle OFA. But we can and should consider the explanation given in 304, that whole business with the overflowing chalices, to be unreliable narration. It is simply a somewhat educated guess.

Like I said, I’ve thought this for a while, but I wasn’t able to get any further with it. Tonight, I went over it again, and I asked myself: other than the fact that All Might was quirkless, what else makes him different from his predecessors? All Might specifically compared himself to the 4th, the one who died of old age, so I did the same. Well… the only other thing about the 4th that stands out is that he spent his life totally alone. This fact is emphasized clearly, and yet, it’s significance is hiding in plain sight: what if the isolation is what killed him?

Thematically, this story has established the dangers and damaging effects of isolation many times, from All Might’s lonely career, to the Todoroki family’s dysfunction, to society’s abandonment of the villains, to Izuku’s misadventures as a solo act. I could go on, but the point is, we are led to see that people become their worst selves when they are alone. Horikoshi has drilled this idea so deeply into the way I analyze bnha that I now look at the 4th and see that he epitomizes the flaw of self-isolation. He kept well hidden and he devoted himself to training, but in the end it wasn’t enough. What is enough? Why is Yagi Toshinori still alive to this day despite the fate Night Eye saw for him? Unless you believe he’s still bound to die, which I don’t, then there’s one simple reason: Izuku. It wasn’t only All Might who changed Izuku’s life, but also the other way around. Because of Izuku, Toshinori gradually regained his sense of purpose and drive, his very will to keep living even when “All Might” was long gone. Because of their bond, he is given the gift of a life beyond passing the torch of OFA. That in itself is something no previous OFA user has ever had before. THAT, if you ask me, is what sets him apart. So what does that say about OFA?

Let’s backtrack for a second. Chapter 304 also directly states that OFA drastically changed about four months prior:

I think we can accept this as reality because it’s just an observation, BUT. What’s odd is it’s left without a “why.” As in, why did it change? Was it simply the “right time?” Was there a trigger? Was it a milestone of Izuku’s strength? No definitive explanation is offered. I decided to look back on “four months ago” and see if I could pick up on anything. Of course it’s referring to when Izuku first had a vision of his predecessors in a dream, and when he unlocked blackwhip—but again, no one knew “why now?” I found that the progress made in this arc is actually nicely summarized in chapter 257:

Here we see that Izuku finally feels like he has a place in the world and a true connection with people he cares about, specifically with Toshinori and Katsuki. Incidentally, this is also the chapter where we learn that the previous OFA users all died young, and it ends with Toshinori talking about what it means for him to keep living. It’s no longer about “helping” in the way he used to as a hero, but just being there for others as a person. So the growth of OFA coincides with Izuku’s developing relationships.

The logical assumption that I’m now going to make is that Toshi’s consciousness in the OFA realm exists because of the connection he forged with Izuku. His fire-y spectral presence is not a vestige at all, not even remotely the same thing as the other previous users, which are only there because of their quirk factors. They are more like memories of people, whereas Toshi’s is a manifestation of a living soul. Still, we would be led to assume it only forms within OFA because Toshinori himself once had the quirk. However…

Katsuki is involved now too. And I don’t think we can claim he is a previous OFA user since Heroes Rising is only loosely canon and the transfer was never completed anyway. Rather, like Toshinori, Katsuki is a deeply important person in Izuku’s life, and that apparently is enough. Since Toshinori normally has a slight psychic connection to his OFA manifestation, my guess is Katsuki also had this vague sort of sense, and maybe a ghostly manifestation of his own, but in his current near-death state, that signal is strengthened to the point where he is fully aware and present inside OFA. As for the reason he’s in a separate setting to the vestiges, and Toshinori’s manifestation is also there, it’s like a Venn diagram. The previous users are in one place, living people closest to Izuku are in another, and Ghost Toshi can go between them because he is both, the overlap of the Venn diagram. Regardless of these technical details though, I think the clues point to the idea that OFA grows from and is meant to be used by someone who is interdependent and has supportive relationships, while isolation causes it to behave like a parasite. The concept also lends itself well to OFA affecting/providing power to others, namely Katsuki, if one is so inclined to those theories. Where I’m at right now, I just think OFA and its wielder have finally gained something they’ve been missing all along. But Izuku still has to fully embrace that.

[pr0serpinas]

I don’t think Solomon actually hates Sebastian.

We know that Solomon got the “retire gracefully or get fired” option extended to him after using an Unforgivable Curse on a Dark Wizard. We also know that Solomon considered Sebastian stubborn, “like your father.” Sebastian’s utter refusal to focus on giving Anne comfort, combined with his willingness to go to any length to save her—whether she wanted it or not—quite possibly scared the shit out of Solomon because it looked like all the worst traits of their family combined. Solomon doesn’t strike me as the most regretful or reflective person, but the strong way he responds to Sebastian using Imperio seems to imply that he’s come to feel remorse at using an Unforgivable himself. To see someone so young use it in such a casual manner and immediately defend it was probably something that made him look at himself and his own (in loco) parenting practices.

No matter the nature of their estrangement, when Sebastian and Anne lost their parents, Solomon lost a brother. I have to believe that would have affected him, even if the effect was anger. We see Solomon living alone in a tiny, gritty cottage (I don’t personally think the size or decor of the cottage reflects much or should be taken seriously, but that’s for another time). He likely was pretty content like that. And now he’s forced in a position to take care of two children whom he may not have even ever met. Doubtless he would have been reminded of the relationship he once had with his brother. And raising children is hard. You can’t just tell them something once. They’re not intrinsically motivated at a young age. You have to teach them a dozen times, and sometimes they’ll still willfully disobey just because they can. I doubt this was something Solomon was prepared for or ever got used to.

In the Victorian era, Sebastian would’ve been expected to protect his sister, who would have been expected to be refined and delicate. (FWIW I don’t think Anne was delicate a day in her prematurely short life.) Anne’s compassion and desire to help led her to leave the cabin when Feldcroft was attacked, and Solomon—and probably most people in the village—absolutely would have blamed Sebastian for “letting” his sister get hurt. Solomon also strikes me entirely as the kind of person who would follow the twisted logic of, “You couldn’t keep your sister safe? Well, you don’t deserve to have a sister.” I don’t think Solomon is letting Anne die, to be fair. I think we should take the notion that he’s done everything he could with a grain of salt, but I think he’s probably done everything that he can afford.

To be clear, I’m not defending Solomon. I think he’s deliberately cruel, as seen by destroying the harmless Shrivelfig that Sebastian brought Anne. He’s also got some of the same impulse and anger issues that his nephew has, since he conjured what I’m fairly sure was Fiendfyre to fight two 15/16-year olds. He’s pretty terrible.

Tl;dr I think Solomon is a bitter, damaged man and an ill-equipped guardian. I think he’s probably a shit-ass person. I think all of those things led him to be emotionally neglectful at best and abusive at worst. But the image that I see a lot of Solomon as a larger-than-life bogeyman figure who is willfully rubbing his hands together like Burns and fantasizing about how to abuse Sebastian is not one that squares for me, especially because Anne had genuine love and affection for him. I think he didn’t meet Sebastian’s needs, and Sebastian took that personally. To say that Sebastian’s actions were directly a response to abuse does both characters a disservice.