#and like obv donating is helpful but like. idk it just struck me as immensely presumptuous and just. so far disconnected from the actual | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gibbearish · 9 months ago

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ive always had issues with the term "terminally online" mostly because of how it swiftly devolved to just mean "anyone online i disagree with", however recently it did finally click for me when someone messaged me about my aaron bushnell posts and ended it with "yeah idk i just think it would've done more good for him to stay alive and donate to esims for gaza" bc i just. like. where do you even start with that. like that to me is an opinion that cannot come from anywhere other than having your entire frame of reference for activism and the united states military be gathered online. you really think someone who thought they had to /kill themselves/ to avoid /active contributions to genocide/ would've done more good just. keeping their head down and doing what they were told and throwing a spare couple dollars at the esims fund? do you think you know more about the harm he was helping do than he did, that you can speculate on how best to outweigh it? do you think if "donate to esims" was actually a more productive option he wouldnt have picked that before SELF IMMOLATION???? and like ive since blocked that person because of some other issues but. it took quite literally everything in me not to say anything about it in the moment

#origibberish #and like obv donating is helpful but like. idk it just struck me as immensely presumptuous and just. so far disconnected from the actual #issue that i just sat there staring at the message box for like 30 seconds before i tried to start responding #also this absolutely isnt to say that suicide was the best option #its to say when you know nothing about a person except that they thought they were doing so much harm that #suicide was the only way to stop it. it strikes me as pretty fuckin weird to assume you know more about how he couldve done better #and like i can see how they got there‚ donating to esims is pretty much all /we/ can do to help so i can see that sinking in as like #a requirement? but idk #at a certain point you have to ackowledge that that kind of thing is like. the online help. thats the help you do if you have no way to #directly effect things. it's helpful but it's also a way to let people /feel/ like theyre helping‚ to feel less helpless abt it #it's the barest minimum assistance a completely uninvolved person can give. it is not a magical end genocide spell where #if enough people do it that WILL fix things #like. it's just the airbag. the crash is still happening. having more airbags won't stop the crash and you're yelling at the driver for #choosing to jump out of the flaming wreckage rather than buy more airbags #like. it's the barest minimum. therefore i really dont think it wouldve outweighed an active contributor continuing to contribute.#and like i know nothing about his position or what those contributions mightve been but thats my point is that #i know nothing except that /he/ thought it was bad enough that it was worth doing this #and then i ask myself how bad something i was being made to do would have to be for me to take that route out #and i go 'wow yeah it was probably pretty fuckin bad'#idk. idk what my point in posting this really is except that its been weighing on my mind since the convo #i feel like part of it too is like. a reaction to the weird glorification of him #like some peoples reaction has been 'wow what a hero' and so people are rushing to go 'no suicide is never heroic its always bad' and im #just like. hey. maybe we shouldnt assign a moral value in either direction to deciding not to be alive anymore.#maybe deciding not to live should be considered an entirely personal decision given that the person it effects #most is that fucking person. maybe we need a refresher course on how bodily autonomy also includes things #you personally disagree with and that self harm and suicide are not exempt from that.#because like saying 'suicide is Bad And Evil' doesnt make suicidal people Less Suicidal #it just makes them feel even worse about themselves for something they dont have control over #and conversely ive seen posts being like 'im suicidal and this glorification of him almost made me commit‚ you people #almost killed me' and im like. no u dont get to say that‚ if this is effecting ur mental health its ur responsibility to log off

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