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britcision · 8 months ago

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So this was one of my first ideas for the After Dinner Mints, although I wasn’t exactly sure how it was actually going to work… until about 2am yesterday, of course, when the whole thing came out at once

This is how things usually work for me. I regret nothing

Mithrun’s POV this time, and what might chronologically be the last of the mints… depends how many others I have that go past the resurrection 👀

Warnings! Mithrun’s a little maudlin, self deprecating, mildly contemplates death, and cranky for Very Good Reasons Definitely, but nothing serious

Definitely crack, a little self inflicted angst for flavour

AO3 link, which includes the full series you can subscribe to for updates:

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After Dinner Mints - Goodbyes

There was a bag that wasn’t his among the things ready for their ship. Well, that was obvious; Mithrun didn’t actually own enough of anything to fill even one bag, so almost everything ready to be loaded wasn’t his.

But there was also a new, large bag next to his tent, his bedroll, and Cithis’ things that she always put with his stuff so no one would inspect it.

He’d have thought the new bag might have been hers, except there was an entire tallman in it. Cithis wasn’t the type to kidnap anyone in a bag; she’d have them follow her on their own two feet (or sometimes crutches, wheels, or whatever else they used).

This was a mystery, and while Mithrun wasn’t particularly inclined to investigate, Cithis had asked him to stay out of the way while the ships loaded up. So he was out of the way, with the bags, and three suspiciously innocent looking convicts who were all grinning at him.

He didn’t have anything better to do.

How did he know there was a tallman in the bag? It was actually obvious enough that he was mildly surprised no one had mentioned it yet; if even Mithrun had noticed, someone else must have. The Canaries moved enough bodies.

It wasn’t long like a bodybag, of course. It was a standard adventurer’s pack, but larger than normal. There were straps on the back that Lycion had shouldered in his beastman shape, although Flamela had made him change back on her way past.

Lycion wasn’t even sulking about it, so he was probably planning to change again the second he was supposed to be moving anything.

The bag had protested when he’d first put it down, which was the biggest clue to its contents. The second biggest had been Fleki shoving it sharply and telling it to shut up, then stuffing an apple in the top.

Whoever was inside seemed to have eaten the apple, since a core came out not long after and Fleki threw it off the pier.

Mithrun knew it was a tallman for a few reasons; size precluded a halffoot or gnome, weight precluded an elf since Lycion wouldn’t have to change to lift a single elf on the island. Dimensions precluded most dwarves; the bag wasn’t tall enough for one to stand, or wide enough to allow the broader bones while sitting.

Elven hearing may not be as good as a halffoot’s, but he’d heard enough shifting to know whoever it was, was sitting down, probably uncomfortably given the way the bag moved with each shift. It wasn’t a loose fit. And there was something else in the bag, too, so not a large tallman.

Someone else was going to notice at some point that his squad had acquired… a prisoner? A stowaway? You probably had to be on the ship to be a stowaway.

If they actually got the bag on the ship, someone would have to deal with it. Probably Pattadol. It wasn’t going to be him, since he didn’t actually care who got on the ship and would just let anyone who wanted to actually walk on. Pattadol probably wouldn’t.

His gaze shifting from the lumpy bag back to the rest of the docks, a frown pulled at Mithrun’s face.

He hadn’t wanted anything, he still didn’t want much of anything, but… he had expected Kabru to come and see them off.

There was plenty of time yet, of course. The ships were still stocking provisions, the crew’s and the squad’s belongings all still waiting on the dock, so it wasn’t like it was urgent.

Everyone knew the Canaries were sailing today. They always seemed to know, gathered and whispering from the day the ships arrived to the day the ships left.

Mithrun used to care about things like that. He used to enjoy the attention, the mystique and maybe a little the fear that surrounded the squad. He’d liked being known, being acknowledged.

Now it was entirely irrelevant, except that everyone always knew. So Kabru knew. And Kabru hadn’t come to say goodbye.

Tallmen cared about things like that; so did elves, usually. Mithrun definitely didn’t. He never cared who he’d see on a given day (unless it was Senshi. Seeing Senshi was nice. Senshi had come to give him a basket of limes and warn him to eat well at sea. The limes were on top of his folded tent).

But Kabru had come to see him every single other day this week. With the dragon carved, it wasn’t like he actually needed to stay through the night and make sure Mithrun didn’t make himself mana sick finishing the job, but he had.

Until last night.

And now they were leaving.

And Kabru hadn’t come to say goodbye.

It was annoying, Mithrun decided. That was it. Annoying. Kabru had been so intent on Mithrun’s well-fare, insisting that he knew how to take care of him better than Mithrun could himself (accurately, but fuck him anyway). But he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye.

People got sick of taking care of Mithrun sooner or later, and always left to do something more useful or even just to find a more cooperative or grateful patient. Three weeks was a new record, though.

Except for some of the Canary wardens, but they had died before the end of the three weeks. Kabru… probably wasn’t dead.

He’d have heard. Someone would have mentioned it. It wasn’t like there was anything dangerous going on, or a fight was likely. The monsters wouldn’t even come near what had once been the island.

(That was part of why they had to leave today; the country rising from the sea had already cut off a lot of the shipping routes, and if they waited much longer the ships would have to leave for deeper waters and they’d have to travel over land to meet them. They would already be sailing down a valley.)

It wouldn’t be anything so dramatic as a death, Mithrun was sure. Kabru simply… hadn’t come yet. He would, probably. And fuss about having been late, as if Mithrun cared that he hadn’t been there, or would even have noticed.

He wouldn’t have noticed. Except. He’d been put here, out of the way, with nothing to do. And Kabru hadn’t come to say goodbye.

His gaze wandered back over to Fleki. She’d probably enjoy a chance to use her familiar again, to take a look around the island. He didn’t know if she’d already acquired her mushrooms, but she much preferred flying to standing around anyway.

He could ask her to look for Kabru. As an excuse, to let her take a last flight. She’d like not having to carrying anything heavy on board. She’d complain less, which would be good for everyone.

And if anything had happened to Kabru, like he was lost, or dead, or hurt… he could be hurt. Tallmen were resilient and tougher than elves, but much less so than dwarves.

Just days ago Kabru had woken complaining of a stiff back and arm that he hadn’t been able to move properly all day. That could happen to legs too, probably. He wouldn’t be able to walk across the hill to the docks. Mithrun didn’t actually know when tallmen bodies began failing them on a regular basis, but it took hardly any time at all. A matter of decades.

Kabru was… probably still young, but what did Mithrun know?

The tallman in the bag would probably know. If Mithrun had the faintest idea of how old Kabru even was.

Less than fifty, definitely. Old enough to have been at Utaya, so over fifteen. Maybe not much over? Although Milsiril wouldn’t have let him out of her nest until he was at least twenty, probably.

She did have some other short-lived children at the moment though. And Kabru was very persuasive.

Anywhere from fifteen to fifty, then. That was about long enough for an elf to reach puberty, but tallmen were fast that way. Kabru was definitely an adult for his own people, but that didn’t help at all. When were tallmen adults?

How long did it take for a body worn by adventuring and repeated deaths in the dungeon to begin to wear out? Canaries certainly didn’t make the full 500 years of an elven lifespan, not even those who retired in good health.

Mithrun personally doubted he’d see his second century, although now that the demon was gone and only natural dungeons remained technically his odds had gone up. His reason for living was gone though, and he’d yet to make a new one stick.

He didn’t particularly relish the idea of spending centuries being moved in and out of a bed at other peoples’ whims. Especially if those people were going to give up on him in just three weeks.

Maybe Kabru was upset that Mithrun didn’t have any desires yet. Maybe he was disappointed that despite all his hard work, Mithrun had nothing to offer him. Maybe he didn’t want to admit he’d been wrong.

Three weeks was too short to give up, surely. Mithrun hadn’t given up yet, although he hadn’t really found a change. But tallmen lived so little time, three weeks was a lot longer to them.

He probably should have tried harder. He had tried, had tried to mention it any time he felt anything stirring in the hollow well of his chest. Whenever there was anything even like a desire, Kabru had been so keen to encourage him.

And it wasn’t like nothing they’d done was enjoyable. He liked trying new foods with Senshi, and watching Fleki and Otta chase Lycion around with a collar and leash to be his temporary “dog”. Kabru had laughed so hard there had been tears, and Mithrun had been worried until he understood they were happy ones.

They’d had… fun. More fun than he’d had in forty years. More fun than the rush of a good fight, of watching idiots cower and baffle themselves trying to work out what he’d done to their friends.

The bag sneezed. Honestly, it was like whoever was in there wasn’t even trying to hide. But then why would they be in the bag at all?

Fleki swatted at it a couple of times, and Otta swatted at Fleki. They were bickering about nothing, but Mithrun didn’t bother to listen in.

The Canaries were disbanding now. He would lose his squad too. Fleki didn’t even want him to speak to the Queen anymore about keeping her out of prison, since he was coming back to Melini.

Maybe that was why Kabru hadn’t come. Maybe he thought that since Mithrun was coming right back, it wouldn’t be goodbye at all.

If Kabru stayed in Melini. He’d been busy talking to Laios a lot in the days since the dragon was carved, and Mithrun hadn’t listened to any of it. It hadn’t been relevant at the time. Technically it wasn’t relevant now, not to him.

If Kabru did stay in Melini, it would be at the capital. With Laios. Talking to people, which was what he did best.

Mithrun wouldn’t be able to return by this dock, that much was certain. Too much of the land would have risen before they even reached their homeland. He’d have to return by ship, and then overland, all the way back here to see him again.

He’d probably have to come to the capital just to tell Laios what he was going to be doing. Technically it would probably be phrased as a request; it’d be easier to operate with the king’s blessing if Mithrun was going to patrol his lands.

He was going to do it whether Laios gave him permission or not, obviously. The house of Kerensil could afford to buy most of the country, so even on his trust he could afford supplies for what he wanted to do. He didn’t need permission, or a salary. He could make himself useful.

But he would probably see Kabru if he came to the capital, and Kabru would have information on where the monsters had been sighted. Kabru was diligent like that.

Diligent about everything except goodbyes, apparently. That weren’t even goodbyes, really.

Mithrun would be back in a few years at most. That wasn’t long, even for tallmen. Probably. He’d ask the one in the bag, either when they were caught or once they were on the ship.

That would have to be soon. All of the crates and barrels and supplies seemed to have been loaded; the crew were now carrying smaller nets and bushels of things Mithrun did not care about aboard.

A few of the dock workers had clearly noticed something was up with the bag. They kept pausing on their way past, frowning at it and at his squad. None of them stopped to do anything though, so it didn’t matter.

He did another quick scan of the docks.

Still no Kabru. They were running out of time. The Canaries loaded last, once everyone else was settled down, but even so.

If he wanted…

Did he actually want to see Kabru?

The thought tightened his chest, an ache almost like longing at even the concept of having a true desire of his own. It was just the ache of the void, though.

He’d expected to see Kabru. Had prepared himself for it, although he still didn’t really know what was going to happen. What Kabru would say, or want to hear.

How to tell him that Mithrun still didn’t feel anything, but that he wasn’t giving up. That he’d be back soon. That Senshi had written him a guide for noodle making, and had promised to show him more if Mithrun found him when he got back.

That Marcille had offered to lend him some books when he did return, still shy and uncertain in his presence until he’d mentioned needing a purpose to occupy his time. She’d written him a list too, of books he should buy. And promised him the first when he got back, if he wanted to read it to be sure.

It was some elven romantic drama that the old Mithrun would probably have breezed through and chatted about with her as a wedge; using her obvious passion to endear himself to her for his own ends.

He didn’t read much these days. He didn’t worry about endearing himself to anyone.

And while he’d expected Kabru to come, and probably be complicated and have feelings about everything, and while it was definitely annoying that he hadn’t bothered, Mithrun couldn’t move himself to ask Fleki to look for him. Couldn’t stir the desire to go looking for himself.

Which wasn’t a surprise. It was just business as usual. It’d take more than three weeks to kindle a whole new desire.

He definitely wasn’t sulking in any way, shape, or form. He was as apathetic as ever, and his squad were smuggling some stupid tallman in a bag in the most obvious way possible, and he didn’t care about that either.

He didn’t care about anything, and somehow it felt much more hollow than it had just a month ago. Probably the lack of desire to find the demon.

Cithis finally rejoined them on the dock, elegant and regal and it really was nearly time for them to leave if she was back.

Still no Kabru.

Mithrun’s shoulders hunched. It didn’t matter. He didn’t care.

But it should have mattered, and he should care, and even if he still couldn’t Kabru could. Kabru had said he cared. And maybe Mithrun had convinced himself that if Kabru could keep caring about him, then he could find a way to care about Kabru in return.

Even just repaying a debt.

Which didn’t matter if Kabru didn’t care after all.

Cithis swept them all with an impatient look, then sighed and turned to her fellow convicts.

“If you’re all quite satisfied with yourselves?”

She was probably referring to their extremely poorly hidden tallman. Mithrun glanced at the bag, his eye narrowing.

Maybe he did mind if they brought them on board. Maybe he didn’t want any tallmen on the ship. Pattadol would mind anyway, and she’d be annoying about it if they were already at sea.

The other three were all still grinning, entirely unrepentant and probably very satisfied. After all, somehow they were getting away with it so far.

“Oh come on, he’s not worked it out yet,” Otta snickered. Mithrun didn’t bother looking at her to confirm she was talking about him.

He had worked it out. He’d worked it out right away. He just didn’t care.

Fleki was just as loud, all unearned and unnecessary enthusiasm.

“He’s been like this for about three hours now, it’s great.”

Mithrun’s scowl deepened. He didn’t usually care when she was laughing at him; he didn’t usually notice. This was just ridiculous though. He wasn’t “like” anything.

Cithis sighed even more heavily, then gave the bag a sharp kick.

“I assure you it’s far less entertaining than these fools seem to think, now put the captain out of his misery.” She sounded bored, which was far more appropriate for the absolute nothing that was going on.

Mithrun definitely wasn’t miserable though. He was fine. He was about to resolutely turn his eye away from their nonsense and ignore the lot of them when a head popped out of the top of the bag.

Kabru’s head.

Kabru was in the bag.

Mithrun. Had no idea what to think. He just stared, completely taken aback, and Fleki dissolved into cackles so hard she had to sit on the dock.

“It’s been how long? The ship’s going to be leaving soon, I thought there was a plan?” Kabru asked, frowning up at the other Canaries.

Lycion grinned back at him, entirely unapologetic.

“The plan was not to let you out until we were all on the ship,” he explained cheerfully.

“And cast off,” Otta put in helpfully.

Mithrun hadn’t worked out how to stop staring yet.

Kabru scowled up at the rest of the squad, awkwardly trying to disengage himself from the bag.

“Oh come on, I told you I couldn’t actually go! I have duties to fulfil here, and-“ he cut himself off abruptly when he caught sight of Mithrun, blue eyes blowing wide as a flush rose in his brown cheeks, dark and hot.

Mithrun did managed to close his mouth. The staring was not stopping. He didn’t think he could manage a single coherent thought.

Unbalanced and still half in the bag, Kabru grabbed at Otta for balance and hissed, “how long has the captain been there?!”

It was Lycion who answered though, Otta torn between disengaging herself from Kabru or just laughing at the pair of them.

“Oh, he’s been here the whole time.”

To be fair, Mithrun could definitely see the funny side. Kabru looked mortally offended, opening and closing his mouth a few times while he glowered at the other Canaries.

It wasn’t hard to guess what had happened, although that meant nothing.

Somehow, they had persuaded Kabru that he wouldn’t be welcome at the docks to say goodbye, so they hid him in the bag. Kabru, for whatever reason, had believed they would let him out when they found Mithrun.

And they had found Mithrun, put the bag down, and waited for one or both of them to work out what was going on.

And if Mithrun had spared about three seconds of thought to wonder who they might have put in the bag, it would probably have been just as obvious. Because who else would they stuff in a bag if not Kabru? What other tallman would they even talk to?

But Mithrun had spent the entire time ignoring them all, because he was thinking about why Kabru wasn’t here. While Kabru was at most ten feet away, in a bag.

Lips ticking up into a smile of their own accord, a soft chuckle escaped Mithrun.

He’d spent so long wondering where Kabru might be, and hadn’t even stopped to consider that the answer might be “right in front of me”.

Kabru had gotten well into scolding the squad, and most of the way free of the bag, although one foot was resolutely still tangled. None of them looked remotely contrite, not even Cithis.

They all looked over as Mithrun started to laugh. He didn’t care, hand reaching to his eye automatically to check for tears as he laughed and laughed.

If he’d only asked, it would all have come to a head in an instant. Either asking where Kabru was, or who was in their bag. But instead he’d sat brooding in silence, and Kabru hadn’t even known he was here.

If Cithis hadn’t called them on their bullshit, he’d likely not have said a word until they’d boarded. There was no doubt in his mind that Lycion would have happily carried Kabru aboard, and then they’d have kidnapped him.

And for what? Why? The passing entertainment as they travelled? Not having to deal with Mithrun themselves?

No, he knew that much. He might not value his life yet, but he could respect that they did, and they had never objected.

It was just… all so silly.

He couldn’t have remembered the last time he’d laughed, just a week and a half ago. There’d been nothing to laugh about, not that he’d noticed.

Given that he’d just proved he wouldn’t notice one directly in front of him, that wasn’t surprising either.

Kabru’s expression softened as he watched Mithrun laugh, light and carefree.

It had not been comfortable in the bag, stuffy and cramped and, frankly, boring. He’d had his misgivings when Otta had suggested it, but the convicts had all been so sure that someone would kick up a fuss if he just went down to the docks.

It all turning out to be a kidnapping attempt wasn’t actually hugely surprising, although he was sure Pattadol would have made them bring him back.

He just… couldn’t have let Captain Mithrun leave without saying goodbye. And now they had almost no time for that, thanks mostly to the rest of his squad.

But Mithrun was laughing. He sounded happy, and Kabru couldn’t help but smile in response.

It wasn’t like Kabru really knew what he could say. The Canaries would be leaving with the tide, and the captain might be back or might not.

Either way, it would be his decision, and nothing Kabru said was likely to factor into it. He’d already made plans to do something with the monsters stalking the kingdom, which sounded like he would come back. Kabru had to hope he would.

It would be nicer to just let it all go and let their last conversation be an enjoyable one. They’d already wasted three whole hours; he didn’t want to waste anything more being annoyed.

Otta had already mentioned that the squad already had a plan in place for as many of them to return with Captain Mithrun as possible. He’d just have however long that took to come up with a prank of his own, as a fitting revenge.

—————

So the key to this was just realising that actually, neither Kabru nor Mithrun had an actual reason or need for Kabru to be smuggled around in a bag. The convicts just needed to think it would be as funny as I did

Also, Mithrun is Thee unreliable narrator and a filthy liar and I love him he was definitely sulking for absolutely no reason

(No one has told him of the cunning plot for Otta, Lycion, Fleki, and Cithis to all get to come back with him to Melini, but you will all learn about it down the line when I get to decide who will present it

It’s a super cunning plot I’m very proud of it)

(Fleki was definitely on the shrooms when she came up with it but it’s dumb enough to be brilliant and they have til they get back to court to come up with a better one)

#delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi fanfic #after dinner mints: goodbyes #after dinner mints #bag that man up i will take him to go #captain mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #kabru of utaya #kabru dungeon meshi #kabumisu #they’re fuckwits yer honour #canaries dungeon meshi #crack

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