#die Insemination

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wish women did not feel so strongly about the fact men, on average, are physically stronger than them. I feel like women have such negative feelings about this that it drives them to ridiculousness. Listen, I get it. I get it, I get it, I get it. The fact men are stronger is frightening. It’s scary to know that if a man decided to physically attack you then you are probably fucked. The USWNT, women who have spent years honing their skills on the field, lost to teenage boys who—when compared to the women—were basically just beginning to develop their talents. I understand how demeaning that can feel to every woman who hears this fact. I can imagine how demeaning it was for the USWNT. I’m sure every woman has been in a situation, playful or threatening, where they have tested their strength against a man and lost miserably. I’ve seen videos where women hit and slapped men with genuine rage and fury and the man barely even flinched. I understand how embarrassing and scary it can be to come to terms with the strength disparity between men and women, but you simply must come to terms with it. Far too many women have taken to pretending that it's not there—this is not a good approach.

Women choose to pretend it's not there because acknowledging that it's there makes them feel inferior. I ask women to remember that this world was built with the ideals of men in mind and to cater to their specific strengths. Men value strength and violence so of course the world is going to seem like those two things are all that’s valued in it. It's no coincidence that many male heroes are physically strong/easily able to cause harm—such as Naruto or John Wick or the Avengers. Of course it feels shitty, as a woman who inhabits this world, to have to acknowledge that your biology generally prevents you from being able to have the ‘can beat anyone in a fight’ type of strength that gets constantly praised.

However, I implore women to consider that men being physically stronger than them is no more of a significant fact than women being able to give birth while men cannot. Women also have biological advantages over men but when was the last time you saw a man calling himself inferior because of them? Imagine if the world was built with female advantages in mind. Imagine a world where the ability to give birth was seen as some sort of pinnacle of human worth. I mean, the ability to give birth is crazy. You are literally creating a whole new life. The female body is capable of providing the necessary tools to bring about a whole new person. Every brain that has thought of something life changing and every hand that has built something new was brought into existence by a woman’s reproductive system. Every single person that has ever so much as breathed was brought to life by a woman, but men never think women are superior for this fact.

Oh, but women couldn’t get pregnant without men, right? No. IVF exists. But even without it, the correct thing to say would be that women cannot get pregnant without sperm. A woman can get artificially inseminated. She never has to go out and find a man to have sex with. Is that not an advantage? Because, I mean, what can a man do if he wants to have a child but no woman is willing to give him one? Hire a surrogate? That comes with a list of complications, is far more intimate than artificial insemination, and is incredibly expensive. How is that not a disadvantage of being male? You may be thinking that you, as a woman, never want to become pregnant, but that is not the point!  The point is that it's arbitrary to look at biological advantages as anything other than completely neutral.

Women also survive famine better and live longer than men. Imagine a world where women held this over men’s heads? But we don’t live in that world. In this world, I’m certain a man would say that they die sooner because of being braver, taking more risks, and doing dangerous jobs. However, if it were women putting themselves in danger and dying as a result, men would not be quick to call us brave; they'd call us the opposite. Idiotic. Foolhardy. Too stupid to take the necessary precautions to keep ourselves alive.

It is just so painful to see women lamenting over the physical disparity between men and women. Let it go. Consider being neutral on the subject of biological advantage. Consider that male strength isn't something to pretend doesn't exist and isn’t something that proves women are inferior.

I understand that acknowledging vulnerability is against the survival Instinct—I get it—but come on. How can we let this get to a point where we’re saying it’s okay for males to enter female sports and beat the absolute crap out of/wipe the floor with women? Them being stronger is neutral! It does not mean anything! But it’s fact. Pretending it’s not only serves to put women in a losing position. Pretending it’s not only serves to make women into a laughing stock. Men will gladly collect medals that belong to women—they’ve been doing that forever. If there was no reason for male and female leagues then there wouldn’t be any. You cannot deny your way into something being true. I also wish it were true that the average woman was evenly matched against the average man, but it’s simply not reality. In the same way that it’s not reality that the average woman is taller than the average man.

I am begging women to think neutrally about this topic instead of being in such deep turmoil over it that they open the door for men to walk all over us.

[poppy-metal]

sighhhhhh <3 patrick being you and tashi’s very willing and eager sperm donor. tashi gives him free reign, for the most part, to do whatever he wants, as long as he spills every drop of cum deep into your cunt where it belongs. and she’s not just going to leave you alone— she’s going to take care of her girl, fuck his cum back inside of you whenever it starts dripping out. it gives patrick time to get hard again before he pumps you full of his cum. tashi makes him keep going and going until he’s shooting blanks.

and really, what are the odds it takes that first time? she tells patrick to keep his phone nearby when you’re ovulating again, would probably even add it to a fucking google calendar. she tracks your fertile days, calls patrick to ‘come over and do his fucking job.’ he’s happy to help out, just being a good friend <3

stop because she's so professional about it - almost clinical. once it's decided she's tracking your periods, she already tracked them before - just to know when you'd need certain provisions. - but she's tracking when you're ovulating - has a calendar for it and everything with the date circled in red marker. the day where you'll be most fertile.

something about it shames and turns you on in the same breath - the brazen display of something so lewd in such a mundane fashion. when tashi's friend is over- and she sees the date circled she of course asks what it means and while your face flames furiously your wife just calmly sips her coffee. "we're trying for a baby."

and of course, of course her friend thinks it means a clinical insemination - tashi doesn't bother to correct her and you're glad, you think you'd die if she explained that no, they were doing a more hands on approach - per your want. its not that you'd asked to get knocked up, but tashi had such a way about her, a way of knowing you - it wasn't hard to figure out you didn't just want to carry a baby, you wanted to experience the act of lovemaking itself - babymaking - such a sweet traditional girl, you were. tashi didn't fault you for it. and you got whatever you wanted, if it was in her power to grant it to you.

you just hadn't expected - patrick. you trusted her - you loved her - but patrick was - he was so - intense. you had to admit he scared you a little, though you did you best to be outwardly polite to him, as one of tashi's closest friends. but tashi reassured you he was the best choice. he wouldn't want to be overly involved in the babies life like art would, who was the other option. he wouldn't fight them for custody or change his mind or anything like that.

and, tashi had added with a smirk, she thought he'd be more your type. you were attracted to tashi for her dominance and strong fiery personality after all. her and patrick shared that - in and out of the bedroom. she knew you'd have a good time. because it was important you have a good time on top of getting pregnant.

well, that was that.

except it wasn't just that. except it was alot more than that. because you came home one day and there patrick was - on your couch - the nice plush one - his legs spread - arms behind him on either side of the couch - the complete picture of male lackadaisical confidence. right at home.

tashi was on a chair across from him, and when she saw you she pointed to the empty spot next to patrick - though there wasn't alot of space.

"stop manspreading and move your ass." she told him when you approached hesitantly. patrick allowed his legs to close a little, making room for you, but he didn't take his arms from the back of the couch. and he looked at you as if to say 'well?' when you just stared at him.

"sit." tashi said and you sat.

immediately the warmth emanating from patrick washed over you. how did he run so hot? he was like a goddamn werewolf. you were hyperaware of his arm just behind you. knew that if you leaned back just a little your head would brush his forearm. you sat stiffly. hands in your lap.

"whats this about.....?" you asked tashi. the date wasn't until two weeks. you hadn't expected to see patrick until then. you wondered if he knew already, or if tashi was planning on telling him now, with you here.

you felt more than heard patrick shift next to you. his knees knocked against yours. he was wearing jeans - and you were in a dreas - the fabric was rough as it tapped your bare skin.

"i think you know." he sounded amused.

so he knew then.

"dont tease her." tashi said. she had a notebook open on her lap, loose papers already in it. she was holding a pen that she uncapped. "we spoke about it a few days ago over brunch. but this -" and she pointed at you with the pen. "- is why we're having this conversation now." she waved the pen between you and patrick.

you drew your knee back from patricks. swallowed.

"a- and the conversation is?"

patrick leaned forward, elbows on his knees. he was so tall and big he invaded your line of sight - "you want my dick inside you and you can't even look at me, doll."

the crude statement made heat shoot through your body. your lips parted and you just kinda blinked at him in shock. your palms started to sweat and at the work dick your cunt throbbed once, unbidden.

"that part." tashi confirmed.

"but i -" you started. "um. i didn't think - i mean. its just. its just to get me pregnant.... "

tashi hummed. "yes. but I don't think you're taking into account its not just about that." she wrote something down in her notebook. the sound of pen on paper was deliberate and sharp. "your pleasure, for one, is paramount. dont look at me like that - you're getting fucked, baby. you're going to enjoy it."

you realized she was making a list. she turned it around to face you and patrick after she finished with it.

"i figure we should talk about what each of us wants from the experience - kinks and stuff. we already know eachothers, but she doesn't know yours patrick - not that what you want matters - but he should know what you like."

your lips press together. she pushes the paper too you.

you feel tunnels vision - dragging the paper into your lap and hovering the pen over the page but unable to write anything down. you feel their eyes on you and feel dissected. you chew your bottom lip. tap the pen to the paper. dont write.

patrick leans back again - this time his arm settles right behind you on the couch cushion, brushing against your lower back.

tashi says your name. firmly.

you look at her a little helplessly, a fawn, "you know what I like - cant you tell him?"

"no."

you're startled to hear it come from patrick. you glance back at him, and he's looking at you like hes got you under a microscope. the shirt hes wearing hugs his chest a little too well. you can see the definition of his chest through it. you drag your gaze to his face, and he rubs at his jaw.

his other hand, you feel the tips of his fingers graze your waist. you squeeze your thighs together and his lips quirk, like hes figuring you out in little morsels and what hes finding he's liking.

"i need to hear it from you."

tashi rolls her eyes.

"he's right you know." she agrees with him anyway, deapite apparently finding his peacocking annoying. "this is for you. for us - but the burden is on your body - im gonna need you to be a big girl about this. I'm taking this seriously - are you?"

"of course!" you say, despondent.

she raises an eyebrow. "are you?"

you sit up straighter. shove your embarrassment down and make sure she can see the conviction in your eyes when you say, "i want a baby. i wanna have a baby with you tashi."

you stare at eachother. her brown eyes search your face, and she's so beautiful. the most beautiful woman you've ever known and you want to have her babies and be her housewife and raise your children and make her proud and -

"thats good." she nods. seems pleased. "now tell him that."

the thing is - this is most definitely mostly for patricks own ego. he'd been hard the moment tashi propositioned him, if he was honest. had spent the past few nights fucking his dick raw to the thought of it. you'd always been like a deer around him. freezing and frolicking away whenever he was around. tashi said it was because he stunk, probably, but patrick had a different theory.

still, he's treading water here. he doesn't know you that well, and your tashi's girl. she'd rip his fucking balls from his body if he made you uncomfortable, he knew. but patrick was pretty good at sussing out when women wanted to fuck him.

he knew you wanted him.

didn't make him want to take it easy on you.

"look at me." he takes a risk, commanding it without looking at tashi, but it pays off when your eyes swing to his like they were pulled there. fuck, if you aren't cute. patricks dick twitches. "tell me what you want from me."

you stare at him. run your hands up and down your dress, flattening it and he glances down at your thighs - has a thought about how they'd look spread around him, pressed up against your stomach - you try to look away again and he pinches your hip with the fingers that'd been lightly skating back and forth over your waist.

"come on." he coaxes you, and he lowers his tone. "look at me and tell me you want me to fuck you on my cock and give you a baby."

"i - i want.'" you look at tashi but patrick doesn't take his eyes off you. he knows tashi wont step in. fucking sadist. her pussy is probably sopping wet at watching him needle you, watching you squirm. she'll be a gushing mess when he makes you cry on his dick and call him daddy - "i want you to.... give me a baby."

fuck.

you say it so softly he thinks about making you say it again, just to be mean. "yeah?" he lets a grin split his face, yeah he's got you pinned. knows exactly the kind of girl you are. "want me to be gentle about it -" he doubts it but hes teasing you here. he already knows how he'll fuck you. decided it the moment you sat on the very edge of the couch - all polite and demure. "- or do you want me to lay you down and make you take the load that's gonna get you pregnant. make your wife watch me get you addicted to cock -"

"i already know that." tashi cuts in. "please - you think I'm not fucking her already with a dick bigger than yours?"

patrick looks at her now - glares. "no balls, though."

tashi trails her eyes down his body - deliberately resting them on his crotch where he's practically bursting through his jeans. he wants to reach down and squeeze himself, relieve some of the throbbing.

"well - that is what you're for, yes."

"and you're not bigger than me."

a perfectly raised eyebrow. "i guess we'll see."

you're still stuck on what patrick said before. about holding you down and making you take it. your clit has a heartbeat and you feel sticky between your legs.

"im gonna - i need to do something really quick -" you stand abruptly - interrupting their banter. you just need to get off. right now.

it doesn't even matter that they both obviously know what you're rushing off to do - that patricks laugh follows you all the way to the bathroom. you need to rub one out now. need something inside you - now -

you dont bother with the lock - just lean against the sink and yank up your dress around your waist with one hand and shove the other into your panties - feeling through the slick mess pooling there, through the folds of your pussy which you part to sink a finger inside yourself - you moan. rock down on it, think helplessly of patrick over you, pushing your legs apart and forcing his cock in - that big body pounding and pounding and pounding so deeply - god - balls slapping wetly against your asshole - full of the cum hes gonna pump so deep inside you - into your fucking womb - you'll just have to take it - you'll just have to -

the bathroom door open and you're half delirious you think you're hallucinating when its patrick. he shoulders his way in - doesn't bother closing the door behind him and you're so close to coming your fingers dont stop moving from their place in your drenched cunt - and you open your mouth to tell him to leave or to scream or to just moan as you cum - but he's moving in before you have a chance to do any of that, yanking you around with a hand on your hip and bending you over the sink -

you twitch in shock and your brain is so fucking frazzled you dont think to do anything about the situation other than moan and clench around your fingers as you cum - your eyes rolling back - you catch the briefest glance of tashi leaning against the doorframe - safe, you aren't being bad, thank god - before patrick is yanking your soiled fingers from your still coming cunt and replaces them with his own-

"oh god - '" you wail at the same time patrick grunts. "fuck - she's tight -"

you're already rolling into another orgasm. thighs shaking as patrick crowds behind you - leans over your body until his chest is at your back. fucks his sloppy fingers so deep inside you his wrist hits your clit - grinds his palm there -

"you have such a hot little body." patrick groans in your ear, hot and low and fuck - "can't wait to stretch it out -" you can feel him hard and fucking big, pressing into your ass. that wont fit - jesus - that will destroy you - ah - you're coming again - or you didn't stop coming, you're shaking and you feel tashi's hand in your hair, yanking your head up so you can see how wrecked you are in the mirror - a fucked out whore - debauched -

"i cant - " you gasp, standing on your tip toes like you mean to squirm away from the feeling but hands - tashi's hands patricks hands, yank you back into place and patricks grinding the heel of his palm into your fat sore clit and you feel tears leak from your eyes.

"you gotta take it, baby." patrick presses a sweet kiss to the side of your head - in contrast to the way hes absolutely pummeling your cunt with his fingers - wet and gushy and making a fucking mess - "how're you gonna take this fat fucking dick if you're already choking my fingers -"

"i will -" you sob. "I'll take it - i promise - hhh -"

"is that a promise?" he asks. pinches your clit. doesn't let you finish coming.

"y-yesss."

"gonna hold you to it."

your eyes roll back when he makes you cum again. you dont know how you'll survive coming on his cock.

[leonie-ftmgirlslut]

I am a girl. I was born female and I will die female. I have XX chromosomes. I have two breasts, a clit and a vagina. I have a womb, fallopian tubes and ovaries.

My choice of words cannot and will not change the fact. My "chest" remains the same, my "T-dick" responds to the same stimuli as a woman. My "hole" gets slick and wet whenever I'm getting turned on.

I am meant for breeding. That's literally the only reason I exist. My ovaries produce eggs for Men to inseminate, to impregnate me so that my body swells with a baby.

How can I call myself a boy, knowing all the facts stated above? I do not have a penis, I cannot breed someone. I can only spread my legs for actual Men to cum inside me, to flood my womb with their semen.

And I will like it.

[lipglossanon]

Crossing the Frame

Infected!Leon S. Kennedy and fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, one shot, horror, body horror, unwanted insemination, OC, mentions of blood/death/bodily harm, vomiting, reader called chief

not proofread; inspired by the Alien series; something before October—might add more later idk

title from Crossing the Frame by Coheed and Cambria

It’s sudden. One moment you’re empty, a void unto yourself. The next, your eyes are open, unseeing as your brain begins to think again, thoughts filling the crevices of your mind. 

You cough violently, curling onto your side, an homage to your fetal beginnings. Pressing a hand to your abdomen, a skittering fear runs down your spine like spider legs. 

Something isn’t right. 

Closing your eyes, you struggle to remember why you’re here. You were to help an agent… one who had been infected by the Plagas strain. Kennedy, you think. The president’s lapdog. 

Pain radiates through your pelvis and you gasp wetly. It needs out, you think. Followed immediately by, what needs out? What’s inside you? Bile rises in your throat. 

Weak as a newborn kitten, you raise up onto your knees. Turning your face away, you gag and cough, a mix of stringy bile and saliva spilling from your mouth. 

A headache throbs behind your right eye; slipping your glasses off, you cup the socket and gently rub your eyelid. It doesn’t ease the pain—but it doesn’t make it worse—so you give up and put your glasses back on. 

Finally looking around, you take in the mess of what was once the lab. Beakers and burners are overturned, unknown liquid spilling off the surface and onto the floor; papers are scattered about like someone just tossed them before leaving. Another searing cramp makes you double over even further, breasts pressing against the tops of your thighs, hands hugging your stomach as you cry out painfully. 

Once you can breathe without wanting to die, you ease back up, slowly climbing to your feet so you can find help. There’s no one left in the lab and the door’s opened halfway, showcasing an empty hallway as far as you can see. 

Shuffling steps outside halt your own progress—hip digging into a counter as you freeze in place. 

“Hello?” Your voice cracks and you have to clear your throat—the dry heaving from earlier making it sting. “Hello?!”

A rattling breath makes you duck behind the counter—unable to see—only able to hear the door being pressed fully open while those same footsteps shuffle inside. 

“Hello,” a voice whispers, “are you in here, Chief?”

You slowly arch your neck up to peek over the counter. An intern, Andy you recall, looks around the room, hand cupping his side where blood has stained through his lab coat. Pushing yourself up, you use the counter as a crutch in order to stand in place. 

“Thank god! You’re alive!” He smiles, hazel eyes tired and strained. 

“What happened?” You rasp, swallowing to smooth your vocal cords. “I think I have a concussion.”

“The subject escaped. Leon Kennedy,” the intern steps closer, wincing with the movement. “He was infected with—“

“Plagas, I remember that,” you gesture to his side. “What about this? Or why’s the room trashed? I think I’m—“

Infected. The word curdles on your tongue like spoiled milk. 

“I woke up already bleeding,” he moves his coat and shirt aside, showing off the padded gauze and tape keeping it bandaged. “I think I got cut from the window overlooking the observation room. It shattered when he broke out.”

You nod, short flashes of memories coming back to you.  It was early morning when they brought Kennedy in for observation. Dressed in only a hospital gown, his skin looked sallow and washed out. The bags under his eyes made the blue that much darker. His hair seemed to be the only thing that defied his poor health, looking sleek and shiny under the fluorescent lights. 

The examiner had the agent remove the upper half of his gown, letting everyone see the raw and irritated scar from the machine that supposedly destroyed the embryo in his chest. X-rays proved there were remnants clinging to his chest wall—the reason why he had been called in to your lab. 

Being the chief medical officer in charge, you had sat quietly in the audience chamber above the room—watching as the scientists and doctors argued and questioned Kennedy, who only had the scattered notes from his mission to really backup any of his claims. 

They injected him, you remember suddenly. He had reacted negatively, body jerking and twitching before he began to scream incoherently, voice raising in pitch until your vision wavered. The glass splintered and rained down on the room, slicing anything in its path.

The alarm began to blare and you locked eyes with what used to be Agent Kennedy, black washing out his sclera and dark veins overtaking his skin like twisting vines. 

“Are you okay?”

Shoulders jerking upward, you shake your head before looking back up into Andy’s drawn face. 

“Yeah, just trying to make it all make sense.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, clenching his teeth suddenly. “Fuck, I fixed myself up as well as I could, but I definitely need to get help.”

“Of course. Are we still under lockdown?”

“Uh huh,” he sucks in his top lip. “It’s why I came this way. I was hoping to find your keycard.”

In case you were dead rings as loud in the room as if he had spoken it. Reaching down, you hold up your lanyard. 

“Lucky for you, I didn’t lose it.”

You both smile even if it’s an empty consolation. 

“Do you need help walking?” You point to his side. 

“I’ll be alright as long as we don’t have to run.”

Both of you know if it comes to that, neither of you would be making it out alive. 

Slowly making your way out of the specimen room—why were you even in this room?!—the intern follows behind you, quiet and careful. The two offices you pass by are empty, not a pencil out of place. The hallway itself doesn’t look like anything is off. A blaring light by the exit’s the only thing to signify anything is awry. 

Leaving the safety of the hallway, you hold the door open for Andy, letting it fall shut once he’s past the threshold. 

“Do you know why I was in this section?” You turn to him, keeping pace instead of walking out in front. 

He shrugs, “Everyone kinda went their own way once he got out. I think someone said you needed to grab the data on the latest test batch?”

You pat your pockets and find a small thumb drive in your overcoat. 

“Okay…” 

You frown down at it, mind still entirely blank. 

“He—“ Andy cut himself off. 

“He what?”

“The subject followed after you. I don’t know if they stopped him or anything like that. I kinda passed out,” he gave you a bitter smile. “I guess at least I wasn’t outright killed.”

“So he killed people?”

Andy nodded, “We’ll pass a few colleagues. Rose and Dr. Kline. Others are too bad to guess.”

You feel a pang of sadness, “That’s awful.”

The intern doesn’t say anything, eyes cast down to the floor. You let the conversation go, splitting your attention between your surroundings and the young man walking next to you. Surprisingly, it’s an uneventful walk out of the research and development area. But once you meet the intersection between it and medical, everything changes. 

The door slides open with a low hiss and you freeze, the salty tang of copper wafting out. The stench of blood and god knows what dogs your footsteps as you guide Andy through the carnage littering the floor. 

“It’s so much worse than before,” he whispers. “It’s like he came back.”

Fear makes your legs weak but you press on, eyes darting around for any movement, ears straining for any odd sounds. The alarm system wails in the distance, amber emergency lights pulsing in time with the sound. You eventually pass by Dr. Kline and his assistant Rose, mutilated in ways that turn your stomach. Andy touches your arm and you push past the bodies, eyes eagerly seeking out the red EXIT sign attached to the stairwell door. 

You touch the handle and a searing bolt of agony rips through your abdomen, like something with a mouthful of teeth is shredding your uterus. It hurts so much you can’t even make any noise, collapsing onto your knees, hands wrapped around your middle like it will stave off the pain. 

“Chief?!”

Andy tries to kneel but groans, legs shaking as he rights himself, hand grasping your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” his voice breaks, “I can’t lift you, Chief. Please, stand up. We’re almost out.”

You open your mouth to reply and puke, bile rushing up from your stomach to stain the floor. Eyes watering, you dry heave for far longer than last time until your body has nothing left to give. 

“Please,” the young man whimpers, “I don’t wanna be alone.”

A shaky hand reaches up to pat the one he has in your shoulder, “I-I’m okay. I think.. I think I’m sick. I don’t know if it’s safe to even be around me.”

Standing up, he doesn’t pull away. 

“We both probably are,” he mumbles, eyes drifting to the door. “But we gotta try.”

You press a hand to your abdomen, “No, Andy. I think I’m—“

“A host.”

A new voice cuts in���low, humorous. You both turn, the young man beside you grabbing your bicep with an iron grip. It takes a second to spot who spoke. Eyes partially concealed by blood soaked fringe peek from around the corner, an off shoot hallway in the opposite direction of the emergency exit.

One hand with abnormally long fingers, creeps over the edge like a deformed spider. The nails look like sharp little talons, and what skin you can see is dark, dry and scaly. 

“He’s, he’s not—oh god, what is he?” Andy whispers, and you shake your head. 

“I don’t know.”

Kennedy laughs and it floods your body with chills. 

“I’ve evolved,” he speaks, voice normal in complete opposition to his looks. “She will be, too.”

Andy subtly tugs your arm and you both take a step back, eyes never wavering from the eerie stare from the creature in front of you. A chittering noise comes from Kennedy and his other hand joins the first, splaying wide against the wall. 

“It was so easy to make you a host,” he laughs again, eyes glittering. “And you didn’t even lose any blood.”

The pair of you make another shuffling step back before those dark eyes narrow. You snap your CAC off of your lanyard clasp and press it against the hand Andy’s using to grip your arm. 

“Take it,” you hiss under your breath. “Go first, get to the containment ward. If everything’s gone to shit, activate the evacuation code and seal yourself off from here.”

“What about—“

Tears drip from your eyes, “I’m contaminated. Please, Andy, just get out of here. I’ll try my best to buy you time.”

“Okay,” he lets out a wet sounding breath. “Okay, Chief. I-I’ll do what I can. Thank you.”

You nod and he finally lets go of you, the heat at your side slipping away. Listening to his shuffling steps, you hear the security pad beep, followed by the stairwell door swinging open. It closes with a soft snick, but you don’t turn away from the pair of eyes in front of you.  

“You knooow you can’t stop me,” that chittering noise again making you realize that’s his laugh. “But it’s sweet of you to give him a head start.”

The cramping in your abdomen is beginning to flair up again but you grit your teeth and take a half step back. You continue walking backwards until your back bumps the door. Hating having to lose sight of him, you turn your sights on the security pad. You make quick work of it, you pull the lab ID card from your pocket, slide it into the slot, and snap off the bottom. The pad blares red—ERROR repeating itself across the small screen. 

“Do you think that’ll stop me?”

He murmurs directly behind you, raising the hairs on the back of your neck. 

You’re too scared to turn around. 

“Probably not, but it invokes a building wide security warning and shutdown,” voice trembling, you reply. “It also alerts the Agency that there’s been a breach.”

He hums, “Clever. Not that it matters.”

Those hands of his, basically scaly claws at this point, wrap their disjointed fingers across your waist and interlock—trapping you in place. The parasite in your body trashes wildly, cramps perforating your abdomen until you become only pain; your legs tremble, weight now held up by the monster’s hands—fear overriding the incessant will to live. 

“It needs out,” he croons, a strange clicking echoing behind you—like mandibles, you think almost deliriously. “Doesn’t it?”

Glancing down, you catch a segmented tail slipping away, tipped with a hardened exoskeleton that looks sharp enough to pierce. Gray begins to creep into your vision as your legs fully give out, Kennedy’s odd hands catching you underneath your breasts, pressing on your ribs so hard you feel the muscles shift.

You’re able to catch sight of his mutated face before passing out; too horrified to scream, you welcome the reprieve of inky darkness. 

[girlfishes]

I think that there is a compelling biological argument that men are naturally aggressive.

This will be me yapping for way too long, but hear me out.

In many sexually dimorphic species, the males live a very short life. Think of bugs, like spiders and wasps. When males are born, they inseminate eggs and then die, or eaten, or exiled. To keep them involved any longer is a waste of resources that could be used on the females to create more offspring. Male bugs live a harsh life, because they are barely necessary except in their limited reproductive role.

Bugs are r-selective species, which means that their reproductive cycles prioritize producing as many offspring as possible with the expectation that most will die before they reach maturity. And the limiting factor in that equation is the number of females, which means that more males are created than are necessary in a 50-50 split.

As life forms become more complex, species become k-selective. This means that the energy in reproduction is put into creating few good-quality offspring. The mothers spend more time with their children, gestate them inside their bodies in the case of mammals, and stay with them until they reach maturity. It takes much longer for a k-selective species to reach sexual maturity, and males in such species are no longer anatomically inferior like they are as bugs.

The primary interest of the individual male is to make sure that his genes are passed on. But this isn’t so easy. I’m going to speak in terms of bears from now on. One male bear can impregnate 50 female bears, and those female bears will no longer be fertile for some time. Bears won’t just pair off monogamously, so male bears face steep competition. They kill each other and they kill each other’s cubs in competition to the limited females who can pass on their genes.

Now what does this have to do with humans? Well, we’ve established that in order to survive and personally reproduce, a male of any species is fighting an uphill battle due to the limited number of females and the female need to not waste precious resources on them. Both of these stem from the different reproductive roles inherent in sexual dimorphism seen across species. The males who succeed in reproducing will have necessarily been stronger and more aggressive. Basic survival of the fittest method will tell you that whatever causes these traits will be passed down.

Humans are the same. The bodies of women are largely organized around the production of large gametes and the gestation and feeding of offspring. The male body is organized around the production of small gametes. Males have been selective bread over millions of years to compete with other men and ensure that women cannot siphon resources away from them. This manifest in higher muscle mass, larger stature, and yes, high testosterone.

For thousands of years human males have forced themselves to remain relevant by crippling the lives and freedoms of women by the disabling nature of pregnancy and their superior strength. They also wage this battle psychologically, which is unique to human beings.

It is important to note that I can argue these points and still acknowledge that men do have the ability to think, feel, and reflect on their actions. If they so chose, they could turn their backs on this troubled past and start a new way of society which values individuals for their minds instead of their bodies.

This is not a fatalist dooming of all future men to forever stick to this pattern. The aggressive actions of men are borne from a deep insecurity that women do not need them. Because we don’t. But the thing is, human beings are capable of valuing each other for more than our reproductive roles or capabilities. Men need to not let their maleness define how they relate to women and each other, but let their humanity guide how they treat other humans. Only then can we leave this all behind.

If you read all of this, thanks for bearing with me.

[sequinsandfins]

Maxiel omegaverse sneak peek as promised based on the poll results! I’m still working on this but it will have to put on hold while I try and get my @thankyoudanielfest fic done!

Daniel mumbles, explaining how the doctor says that it would be best if he got inseminated during pre-heat. That way the likelihood of a successful pregnancy increased from 50% to 98%.

The clinic had offered Daniel the option to come in, “…or uh, they said I could do it at home, with some uh, assistance?”

“Assistance?”

“Yeah, um, apparently they get a lot of couples, who prefer to do it at home?”

Daniel is turning a delicate shade of pink and he smells, embarrassed? Aroused? Max isn’t sure what to make of Daniel’s reaction.

“Yeah, I don’t know, I guess doing it at home, they can make it sexy?” Daniel’s light blush is now turning a delightful crimson. “I’m not saying you have to do that for me!”

Max inhales sharply.

Daniel wants him to help him? In pre-heat?

Fuck.

Max is going to die by the end of this. He’s going to die and never get to see Daniel flush with pregnancy or the swell of his belly. He’s never going to see his tits, full and swollen with milk, and he’s never going to see him holding the pup Max wants to raise as his own.

No. He’s not going to see any of it because Daniel will have killed him.

Max exhales, a little shaken.

[raplinesmoon]

원샷! (One-Shot!): Series Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Yoongi x Doctor!Reader (feat. Seokjin)

Genres: drabble series, nsfw, crack, fluff, smut, tiny bit of angst, medical au, idiots-to-lovers

Tags/Warnings (to be updated as series moves along): cynical Yoongi, hospital talk, artificial insemination and pregnancy, sperm for insemnation switched without readers’ knowledge/consent, 20,000 different ways to say sperm, unhinged behaviour from OC and Yoongi, probably HIPAA non-compliance, intoxication, marijuana use, eventual smut

Summary: Yoongi escapes the friend zone in the most unexpected way ever conceived (based on the movie, The Switch).

a/n: Let me know if you’d like to be tagged when I update!

1. 원샷! (One-shot!)

Yoongi’s friendship with you is the one bright spot in his life. So when you tell him you’re ready to have a baby, he thinks this will finally be his shot to take your friendship to the next level. Cue a few shots of soju, and one insemination party, and Yoongi suddenly has a huge problem on his hands.

1.5. Half The Man

As your pregnancy progresses, Yoongi continues to wrestle with his long-standing feelings, culminating in an argument that has you making an unexpected move.

2. Take Two

Yoongi hasn't seen you for a long time, so when you invite him to dinner, he's surprised by the guest who tags along.

3. Three's A Crowd

After taking on an unexpected baby-sitting gig, Yoongi finds himself warming up to his new set of responsibilities.

4. How I Met Four Mother

A drunken night out has an unpredictable ending where Yoongi decides he can no longer hold back.

5. Five and Let Die

Months pass, and Yoongi finds himself contemplating if the consequences of the decision he made years ago were worth it.

[eldritch-spouse]

If Breg and Bregina are sharing an S/O during heat could Bregina accidentally get pregnant from grinding on your creampied crotch?

Well... Possibly, yes.

Okay, ideally, Breg would clean you after the deed, or you push him away to try and get some sense in both their heads about needing to clean up. This isn't likely to work too well but it's worth the old college try. Alternatively, you can rapidly try to clean yourself up using whatever's around you, which is bound to be sloppy and get interrupted by an angry Breg. Distracting Gina with stimulation that doesn't involve your pussy is an idea, but only a temporary one.

In the event that Gina gets pregnant, both her and Breg would instantly feel it. Panic will unfold.

Let me explain why.

TW: Past sexual abuse; Meltdowns (happy ending though)

First, in Bregina's side. Considering she is essentially a genderbent Breg, this breeder was considered a top sow at the facility just as Breg was a top stud. This means that pregnancy was forced upon her several times, and forcibly attempted several other times. The concept of baring a child is now extremely stressful for her and it's something that she's constantly at war with due to her increased urge to reproduce. Breeders were made for repopulation purposes, so when a lived experience is constantly contradicting that urge, it generates a very mentally taxing dynamic.

Perhaps, if every aspect of the pregnancy was left in Gina's hands only, she would come to welcome the idea of being artificially inseminated so that she can bare a child and raise it with her angel, you.

But a surprise pregnancy achieved in the midst of blind lust, from someone she did not consent to getting impregnated by? Oh boy, meltdown time.

Breg is equally upset and confused. On the one hand, rut instincts tell him he now has to guard and provide for Gina as well. On the other, what's left of his logic reminds him that he does not want kids with Gina, that he doesn't love her, that this was a massive mistake and he can't fix it.

Two breeders are volatile and freaking the ever living fuck out around you. You might not even know the reason as to why yet!

Your best bet is to take over and provide them comfort in any way you can. Gina would rather die than abort, even if this was unplanned and unwanted. And Breg, for once, takes a more responsible stance by promising to help raise the hatchling. They will bicker for a long while about how to normalize things, but eventually reach an understanding.

The hatchling is both Breg's and Gina's biologically, and figuratively speaking, Bregina got pregnant because of you, because of sex with you, Breg only provided the material, so to say. So this is also your child, you helped in the making of it. They both settle on the fact that this breederling is yours too and it seems to calm them down.

You gave them the ability to have a family, and they are grateful to you, as it is part of their dream.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello amazing librarians!

I remember vaguely reading a few different fics that included this subject but cannot for the life of me find them again. I figured I'd take a shot in the dark and reach out.

Specifically, they were alpha/beta/omega based, where there were established shelters that helped abused omegas while trying to change the system of oppression to how Omegas were treated. Alphas were the one's running the shelters (either Aziraphale or Crowley) and it was how they found one another, tentatively learning to trust again after traumatizing experiences.

Thank you so much for all that you do! It's absolutely incredible, and you deserve every kind of edible arrangement.

Hi! I can't find any exactly like that, but here are a couple where they meet through a/b/o organisational systems and one where shelters are mentioned but they do not meet at one. Mind the tags, folks!...

Therapy Alpha by Anonymous (E)

Crowley is a Therapy Alpha as well as a professional breeding stud. His duties include breeding in-heat omegas on their 1st, or ‘presentation’ heat, to keep them healthy. He also offers ongoing training to help them adapt to their new situation, before passing them on to be claimed by another Alpha permanently. He is only meant to breed them, but not claim them with a bite, until he meets someone who he simply can’t resist: a blond haired bookshop owner named Aziraphale Fell. Aziraphale transformed into an omega late in life due to an unknown medical complication, and it just so happened that the on-call attending Alpha at the hospital that day, was a rather handsome red-head named Crowley. This fic contains elements of dubcon, but no noncon. All parties want intimacy, but it is driven by hormonal drives. Yes there is a “fuck or die” trope in action here. TW for breeding, pregnancy, insemination, knotting, claiming bites, heats, ruts, and all those juicy things you come to expect from an A/B/O fic.

Untouchable by VeryWrongEverything (E)

Crowley ran from an unhappy relationship with an Alpha and ended up in another Alpha's house on the same day.

Duty and Desire by Purple_Rose_Writes (M)

A Regency-Era GO Omegaverse Human AU Aziraphale Heavens has resisted taking a mate, but when the family hits hard times, he has no choice. His fears about being mated to an alpha he's never met are only heightened when Alpha Anthony Crowley is rather non-traditional. Is he doomed to a life of abuse and mistreatment? Or is there more to Crowley than meets the eye?

- Mod D

[screeechingbat]

I was thinking about the time I saw someone comment on the morality behind the experiments on dinosaurs and was asking “how could someone do this?”, and it made me think about how I never questioned that. Like, I’ve been vegan for so long that seeing horrific acts of animal abuse like that is run of the mill behavior for me when it comes to animal centered industries.

Unethical breeding is rampant across every single domesticated species to the point where the villains in Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory aren’t actually that out there in their evilness. They’re literally just regular people who were given the chance to genetically modify animals and educated enough to do it.

Just look at…

- How flat muzzled dogs and cats struggle to breathe due to how they’re purposefully bred.

- How pure bred dogs are bred by people who know full well that they have hereditary health issues.

- How poultry raise for meat are bred (and overfed) to the point of heart attacks and broken legs because they’re bodies can’t handle their weight and how egg-laying hens are generally malnourished due to the constant laying they’ve been bred to do.

- How dairy cows are bred to produce so much milk that once they’ve been forced to reproduce (the vast majority are bred to artificial insemination) milking is pretty much a necessity because otherwise their udders get swollen and cracked, which is painful.

- How sheep are bred to the point of needing to be sheared because otherwise they’ll overheat and die.

- How lop-earred rabbits are bred to have their ears that way, despite the fact that it affects their hearing and a lot of them end up becoming deaf from it.

People who choose to genetically modify animals, or even just continue to breed them once they’ve already been modified for specific looks and purposes, in the first place generally don’t view them as living, breathing animals with experiences or feelings, they look at them as products to shape and sell.

And they do it because they can, hardly anyone is actually trying to stop them and the majority of people straight up encourage the behavior by creating demand (knowingly or unknowingly).

[theprissythumbelina]

So you want to write about horses.

(Part 3! Enjoy this post? Want to know more? Check out So You Want To Write About Horses Part 1 and So You Want To Write About Horses: Medieval Edition)

Maybe your character is a jockey, or a rancher, or a stablehand, or the ever popular cowboy in the wild west. Maybe they have a whole team and an Olympic dream. But what do people even do with horses? I can help.

First, some vital terms

The equipment that a horse wears is referred to as Tack. Tack can be minimal or incredibly complex. The part that goes on the horse's head when riding is the bridle, and the part that goes on the back for the person to sit on is the saddle.

^ Got that? Good, there will be a test at the end.

Now, What do people even do with horses?

To know the jobs around horses, you should know that the equestrian world is divided into very distinct and separate realms, and the further you delve into these realms, the more specific and specialized the horses, equipment, and terms become. Broadly, there is "pleasure" horses and "working" horses. Working horses are relied upon for physical labor to support their humans. Pleasure horses fall into more of a hobby for their humans.

There is also the Western riding style and the English riding style. The Western style descends from the Spanish saddle, and is used throughout the world, but most commonly in the Americas, where it is closely tied to herding cattle. The English style is a bit harder to clearly pin down the original influences, but has history in military uses throughout the European continent, and currently exists internationally. The English style is the style used at the Olympic games and in jumping competitions, whereas Western is not.

^ this is an example of a Western Style working horse. Western describes the style of equipment as well as the riding style. This horse is dressed for herding cattle, with a large comfortable saddle and simple rope bridle.

^ This is also a working horse, this time in the English riding style. Notice the saddle is much smaller, without a large 'horn' at the front of the saddle, and the bridle on the horse's head is much more complex. This horse is a Police horse.

^ and there are many combinations, variations, or lack ofs that exist. Some people have trained their horses to not need any tack, and need only the tiniest movements of their rider's body. Don't ask me how, I am not one of them.

Finally, Professions involving horses.

For ease of understanding, I will break this into segments that involve all horses, English horses, Western horses, and then the even more specific horses like racehorses, ect.

This edition will deal with professions involving All Horses.

Equine Veterinarians

Veterinarians that work with horses in rural areas are usually more generally large animal veterinarians, while equine vets, often attached to an equine hospital or clinic, have specific and in-depth knowledge of equine medicine, rather than equine and bovine medicine. Both large animal vets and equine vets administer vaccines, diagnostic tests, and certificates of health, as well as diagnosing and prescribing treatments of injuries and sicknesses. Vets also aid in breeding horses, caring for pregnant mares, birthing foals, and handling semen collection or injection for artificial insemination.

One of the most common reasons for a vet call is for the treatment of colic, any horse owner's nightmare. Horses have a massive system of intestines, and any change to a horse's diet, stress, or exercise, as well as many other causes, can lead to a backup of food or feces in the digestive system. Minor cases can resolve with pain treatment, but in severe cases surgery is required, and horses can die very quickly from what is essentially an extremely dangerous stomach ache. It is one of the most common causes of death for horses.

^ In very severe cases, parts of the intestine tie themselves into knots, lose blood flow, and die within the horse. I know many horses that have died from colic, and some that have survived.

Farriers

Farriers are pedicure specialists for horses. The hoof of a horse is simply a very large and thick fingernail, and a farrier is an expert in trimming, shaping, and even repairing that massive fingernail, as well as tacking on metal shoes to the bottom of a horse's foot. Farriers are also sometimes blacksmiths, and will create their own shoes, while others use premade shoes and nails.

^ (1)A farrier tacking on a shoe to a horse's hoof. (2) Shaping hooves with a rasp. Farrier treatments cause no pain to the horse when done correctly, and the specialized knowledge of which is why many farriers are expensive. Horses will need this redone every 4-8 weeks, depending on the horse and the environment. Even more than the vet, a good farrier is vital to the health and use of a horse, while a bad farrier can ruin a horse in less than the swing of a hammer.

(Side note: This is not a shoe, and no person putting that on a horse should be considered a farrier. I don't take many strong stances in informational posts, but this is one.)

Saddlers

These expert leather workers fit and shape the tack to the shape of the horse and the shape of the rider. Many serious riders have custom fitted tack, where a base saddle or bridle has been reworked after purchase to perfectly fit the riding pair in question. (I have one, it was expensive, and it continues to be worth it). Historically, tack has always been made with leather, which allows for stretch and molding of the tack, as well as decades of longevity, and still today, only the cheapest of tack is made with plastics. Saddlers often specialize in English or Western style tack, and many old brands are still known today for certain fits.

^ An expert Colorado saddler at work.

Trainers

Horses do not naturally trust humans, even after thousands of years of domestication, nor do they automatically know how to be ridden. Trainers are experts not only in their discipline, but also experts in horse behavior, communication (with humans and horses), basic first aid, common sense, and the rarest of all, the elusive 'horse sense'. Horse sense give a trainer the understanding of a horse's personality, and allows them to form a bond that not only teaches the horse to trust them, but to trust all humans. A trainer's job is to discover the horse's potential abilities, as well as the horse's fears, dislikes, and any pain or mis-training that could impede a horse's progress. Across the world, there are many style of training, many jobs that horses must be taught to preform, and a lot of misunderstandings. A good trainer can save the lives of horses and humans alike, a bad trainer can ruin both. The first steps of training a horse can be referred to as 'starting', 'breaking', 'training', 'backing', and many more.

Grooms

Grooms are the beauty professionals of the horse world, as well as the people getting everything done behind the scenes at high level barns or shows. In some places, grooms bring the horse in from the field or stall to be brushed, put the tack on the horse, warm the horse up, and then hand the horse over to the rider. In other places, grooms are a luxury as much as a butler for your horse. Grooms may also be responsible for managing the stables and tacking areas, keeping those areas clean through sweeping or removing mess, and potentially feeding, moving horses from pasture to stable, or whatever else needs to be done at a large stable. In other situations, the more grunt work will fall to part-time stablehands, while the grooms focus on working with the horses and riders.

^ Racehorse Groom Stephanie Searle grooms a racehorse.

Floaters/Equine Dentists

Horses are unique animals, with unique digestive systems, as has already been discussed, and with unique teeth. Due to horses' diets involving primarily hays, grasses, or grains, the teeth of a horse receive a great deal of wear from the tough nature of these foods. The wear patterns are so well documented that they have for thousands of years been used to tell the age of a horse with a great deal of accuracy.

Floaters are equine teeth experts, and receive their name from the practice of 'floating', or grinding sharp areas of horses' teeth down to prevent these sharp points from slicing into the horse's cheeks or stopping a horse from properly chewing.

^ Floating a horse's teeth. Also not painful, but like many people, horses tend to prefer being sedated for the dentist.

Professional Transport

In the modern age, as well as to a certain extent, the past, horses are constantly being moved, shown, sold, and shipped. Professional horse transport exists in the form of semi-trucks, ships, and planes, as well as trains. The transport of horses, usually very expensive and valuable horses, requires a team of professionals including veterinarians to ensure the horses' safety in transition.

^ Horses ready to go on a plane. Personally, a terrifying sight.

Alternative Treatments

Just like human medicine, horse medicine has a proliferation of supplements, alternative treatments, folk magic, and home treatments. Professional equine nutritionists work with feed companies as well as feed supplement companies (think herbal food additives as well as fish oil, ect.) to create supplement brands that claim to calm or energize horses, ease pain, prevent colic, or treat any number of issues. Horses may receive any number of visits from such varied services as equine massage therapists, equine physical therapists, equine chiropractors, equine spirit mediums, animal communicators, and so on. The scientific basis for these professionals ranges from well supported to lacking support, but such services remain popular regardless.

^ No matter what the profession with horses ends up being, just about everyone starts here: mucking out the stalls.

This post will end here, but keep an eye for the extended cut with the English and Western specific professions!

[lindamccartneysstrap]

paul was born to be inseminated, not to inseminate. it's the hill i will die on🫃🏻

live your truth bestie 😌

[vykker]

Oddworld Headcanon 6/?: Vykker Families

I was looking at concept art of the Vykkers, my beloved perfect science boys who have never done anything wrong, when I read this line:

"Headley, the Vykkers' auctioneer, is a rare case among the species. Most Vykkers are consumed by the surgical and pharmaceutical industry, but some, like Headley, work on the fringe of the family business." - The Art of Oddworld Inhabitants, Page 222.

Hearing it described as a "family business" was interesting, but I assumed it was more of a metaphor for their species in general. Not literal. But then, I saw this image:

"Humphrey and Irwin Vykkers knew that together they could bring experimentation to the forefront of modern science, as long as they stuck together."

Wait- is Vykkers a surname?

I think everyone and their dad headcanons Humprey and Irwin as being a vicious married couple. Even when I played MO for the first time as a little kid, I thought Irwin was Humphrey's comically shrill wife. They even flirt at the end of the first cutscene where we meet them, with Irwin calling Humphrey a genius and Humphrey rolling his eyes playfully like he's not loving it. So lets assume these twisted old fruits got Vykker-Married and started a thriving business empire. What does "family" look like to a vykker?

One piece of lore that I've always found hilariously fitting is that a vykker's greatest love is always for themselves. Vykkers are a unisex species and breed via self-insemination, which is often seen in snails, but even occurs in reptiles. I loved the idea of Vykkers being so self-absorbed, they don't even want to breed with other Vykkers. Now, some irl lizards perform what's called pseudocopulation, wherein the ritual of breeding triggers ovulation, but no actual breeding occurs. Not saying vykkers do this. Stop thinking about it. I said stop thinking about it! What I'm saying is, there are examples of animals not requiring another of their species to breed, but still mimicking the ritual of it, either as instincts left over from their non-hermaphroditic ancestors, or for other reasons we haven't confirmed yet.

What I'm saying is, vykkers could have the framework in place to experience romantic feelings even if it's not strictly necessary for their species' survival. Alternatively, two vykkers may pair off just for the societal benefits. I imagine two vykkers who are friends, have the same shitty values, and want to live the same lifestyles might choose to get hitched. Benefits would include a dual income lifestyle, having someone you can rely on to help you, certain legal protections and benefits, someone to manage your estate if you die, and not being lonely at home by yourself.

But also- they can raise their kids together. The vykker parenting style is something I've put a lot of thought into because there's so many interesting and funny possibilities.

First off though- how many kids do vykkers have? I always pictured them as laying a single egg once per lifetime or something. But then I noticed in this official, rendered art... Humphrey has NIPPLES!

He has FOUR nipples. At first, I thought only his bottom pecs had them, but then I saw this concept art, where its clear that vykkers are meant to have four:

Interns don't have nipples. Mudokons don't have nipples. Their chests are completely smooth. From what I can tell, the mudokon, slig, and glukkon queens- who are covered in boobs- are the only other individuals to have them. Maybe it was just added to be a creepy design element? But then again... vykkers ALSO have belly buttons. It does not appear that interns or mudokons have belly buttons, but it's a little hard to tell. Their skin is so texturized, it's possible they do have them and it's just not noticeable.

So why do vykkers have four nipples AND belly buttons?* I hate this line of questioning. I was a lot happier imaging them just laying an egg every once and a while. However, I'm not sure about that now. I think... vykkers might be livebearers. They might have 4 offspring at a time.

*Egg-laying reptiles actually DO have belly buttons but they don't look the same as mammalian belly buttons. It's more of a line. Google "corn snake bellybuttons". Theyre very cute!

Consider the following: imagine if Humphrey and Irwin had kids. Our inventions are doing well, lets get some inheritors going so they can hoard our family wealth and never share it. The two of them would have at LEAST 4 offspring but maybe 8. How do you do science and keep EIGHT babies alive? There's no way either half of this couple is going to stay home to care for them! So they invent Baby Chow. Baby Chow makes babies grow at an extreme rate- don't need to pay the babysitter as long- AND it frees up your arms so you don't have to breastfeed.

Remember when Vykkers Labs was described above as a "family business"? Imagine if Humphrey and Irwin had 4 kids each, then their 8 children got married and each of the 16 vykkers had 4 more baby vykkers.... I failed algebra in high school but:

16 x 4 = 64 vykkers!!! And that's just if three generations of vykkers had one litter each! There could be a LOT more, assuming they can be pregnant more than once, AND assuming we are looking at like, 4 or 5 generations of vykkers at this point, considering how they love to artificially extend their lifespans through surgery and treatments. And how they might just hand their kids off to the nearest intern to serve as a nanny while they immediately get back to work, thus minimizing any repercussions that might stop someone from having a ton of kids.

So when they say Vykkers Labs is a family... I think its literal. I think a lot of the vykkers we see in Munch's Oddysee are direct descendants of Humphrey and Irwin- their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and etcetera- or are outside hires hoping to marry in to their wealthy family business. I think our boys' genetics are alllll over Vykkers Labs, their laboratory that they own, and would never want to share with anyone BUT their clone-offspring.

On a related note: childrearing-wise, I picture vykkers as the worst kind of PTO moms. You know how vykkers can only truly love themselves? Well, since they reproduce asexually, that would mean that each child is a literal clone of their parent. It stands to reason that vykkers would be overly and obnoxiously consumed with making sure their clone-child has the best of everything. Not exactly love, more like control and possessiveness. More like wanting to give them everything you never had as a kid.

Can't you imagine a vykker parent, with that awful shrill voice, shrieking at some poor school counselor because their little Timmy would NEVER lobotomize the class pet, how dare you accuse him of such a thing? Or, how DARE you not let little Timmy join the Dissection Team- I have friends in the Magog Cartel, you know!!! The entitlement level would be off the charts. Every School Board Meeting would end with someone getting stabbed.

I could also see Humphrey and Irwin being like "we will raise our children communally so we never know who made who :)" then immediately getting paternity tests behind the others' back, lol

Anyway what are your thoughts? Writing this made me want to write some horrible vykker OC's who are Humphrey and Irwin's shitty entitled grandchildren.

[atopvisenyashill]

fanfic recs part deux

i wanted to post this forever ago but i’ve been reading soooo slowly lol and i still have like 30 fics bookmarked that i want to read ntm trying to find old fics i liked but didn’t bookmark. i think most of these are one shots altho some of them are series or multi chapter. i put a lil star next to the ones that are multi chapter if you’re someone who wants something long to read. also, the ones that are pretty colors are the ones i’m very fond of.

ALSO, i am always trying to recreate the absolute high i get whenever the fire of our blood and the black widow update. i like to rec them bc i love them but also bc one is very pro greens and ones very pro blacks and i personally love how differently they approach the question “can the dance ever actually be avoided?” with their stories. Also best part (imo) is no one gets butterfly effected away!!!

but okay onto the fics i've read and enjoyed let's goooo-

AUs where someone is butterfly effected away

viable alternatives by madina -> ✨dance au where rhaenys decides to get involved in the life of her son a little bit earlier, and researches a way to artificially inseminate rhaenyra. it deals a lot with the childhoods of daemon, viserys, and rhaenys, and features a lot jacemond and jacegon. butterfly effects away the dragon twins. also, if you like the series, there's some cute art made for it.

wrestling with snakes by madgirlslovesong -> ✨imagine book canon but viserys has the personality of viserys ii instead of viserys i. it's interesting, and intricately plotted out, and i love fic where you can see the work the author put into detailing everything. butterfly effects away all the kids, also, there's art here.

from ashes to embers by ladyalianora -> ✨rhaenyra is reborn just before viserys takes a wife, told by the gods she must attempt to stop the war. plays kinda fast and loose with timelines and canon (it's a mix of show and books). i adore the characterization of rhaenyra in it. butterfly effects away all of the kids.

all you have is your fire (and the place you need to reach) by sunchaser -> ✨rec-ed by @camagueyys rhaenyra and qoren are engaged in order to bring dorne into the realm. as part of the agreement, qoren comes to foster at king's landing until rhaenyra is of age, where they will move to Summerhall, which will become rhaenyra’s seat to pass onto her children. except, of course, people die and the line of succession for dorne and the iron throne starts getting very complicated. i love the concept of rhaenyra marrying qoren and i like the way this fic explores that, and also i love how aemma and alicent are written in this.

longing comes running by theicedragon -> ✨wherein rhaenyra's first born is a daughter named velaena instead of a son named jacaerys. velaena becomes rhaenyra's heir and develops an interesting relationship with her uncle aemond. this is my new obsession. i love the way the fic really digs into how gender and legitimacy intersect and the ways that would impact valaena (and rhaenyra). i reblogged a graphic for it a while back too, show the author some love if you're interested!

An Excerpt From Chapter Two ("The Heiress and the Eldest Son”) of Maester Orwyle’s History of Rhaenyra I's Reign by lamelessnes -> incredibly short (like 350 words) but it’s written in the style of fire and blood and i think it’s fun. AU where Rhaenyra is forced to marry Aegon.

writ in blood by zzbkit4 -> ✨rhaegar wins on the trident but the war is a long way from over. i’ve mentioned this one before because it’s an au scenario a lot of people love to think about and it’s REALLY well done. mostly catelyn’s pov with a fair amount of dornish povs, as well as lyanna, benjen, and rhaella.

AUs where love saves the day and anyone who doesn’t like it gets stomped into paste

fear in his eyes by raybyanothername -> driftmark au. daemon notices aegon seems scared of otto, then catches otto smacking aegon around just before the fight. this one is all sweetness which is perfect if you're in the mood for that. i really loved the lucemond dynamic especially; i think it's a very realistic portrayal of the way two small kids would deal with the fallout of a violent incident like that.

when first we faced, and touching showed (how well we knew the early moves) by mrdcai -> rhaenyra pushes harder for jacaerys and helaena to marry, so alicent is forced to allow the two to spend time together to see if they suit. there's a heavy focus on romantic rhaenicent that i love in this one, and it’s also just (imo) well done in how the relationships all develop. i’m very fond of this one!

breakdowns by raybyanothername -> a bunch of aus where person a has a breakdown in front of person b and it avoids the dance. the pairings were really fun and interesting!!

a knight of the north by stevem1 -> au where the kingsguard do their goddamn duty and there’s midwives taking care of lyanna & baby jon. i love daynes, i love starks, this has daynes and starks. i wish it wasn’t just a one shot tho bc lyanna, ashara, and ned all in winterfell is so interesting to me.

main canon/canon compliant

even to the edge of doom by lilith_morgana -> rec-ed to me by @riana-one . joanna's life as she grows up, falls in love with tywin, has children, and then dies. i enjoyed it a lot, i thought it was a really great take on joanna as well as great way of depicting tywin.

before the day is done by crossingwinter -> ✨rec-ed to me by @allyriadayne . an overview of elaena targaryen’s life from her time in the maidenvault to her old age. i loved it a lot!!!! multi chapter AND focused on my girl, amazing ten stars out of five.

the queen of love and beauty by catelynstark956 -> ✨otherwise known as the harrenhal au where ned and catelyn meet at the harrenhal tourney and fall in love. i adore this fic sooooo much, so romantic, such a great read on the dynamics between everyone in the lead up to robert’s rebellion.

the dunk & egg universe by ariel2me -> ✨a bunch of ficlets set during the time where dunk & egg are traveling westeros together. i really liked it, got the more adventurous/humorous tone down very well.

post canon/twow speculation

in the midst of the ruins by iday -> jonsa fic, post war for the dawn. while living out his days out of sight and out of mind, jon gets a raven from winterfell with only two words: "come home." so he does. brienne and podrick are also there. very cute, contained little story, and an older jonsa fic.

varg-hamr/wolfskin by undercovercaptain -> a take on jon's ressurection and sansa as the girl in gray that i think is well done and also roughly what i predict will happen (leaving room for some crazy grrm-ness tho, obviously)

saw you in the snow by sleepingwithwolves -> another girl in gray esque take but with bran coming to sansa in a weirwood dream as well as jon. my soft spot is "bran helping his siblings through dreams" so!!

[brandwhorestarscream]

alright let’s hear you horrendous D-16 torture idea

Oh I am SO GLAD YOU ASKED-

SO! This takes place within the idea of "D-16 and Orion never make it to the surface, and the quintessons eventually invade Iacon" idea. The two of them are separated during the invasion, Orion ending up on the run with a group of stragglers, and D-16 is taken back to the quintesson ship.

Aboard the ship, he and all of the other cybertronians they've caught are immediately sent in for processing: sanitized and vaccinated, branded and collared and chipped, those that still possess transformation cogs forced to undergo surgery to have them removed. Then, they're split into groups for conditioning, to have them broken in and gentled, preparing them to be molded into good little quintesson slaves.

I could wax poetic about the horrors of the conditioning + brainwashing, but that's more in line with worldbuilding (and also I don't have all the details ironed out yet. If you have any ideas about how the quints treat their trainees, hmu! I'd love to hear lol). We're not here for worldbuilding on this post, we're here for D-16 angst!

For awhile, Dee keeps his helm down. He's not yet had the spark of rebellion lit in him. He has no information to work with, no hope for escape, and no faith in his own abilities. Getting away from the quintessons is impossible: there's no way to defend themselves, they'll never be able to outrun them, and they're given the bare minimum of fuel to keep them from dropping into stasis lock, nothing more. With gauges constantly in the red and on the brink of starvation, he barely has enough energy to do the work they demand of him. For awhile, he's helpless, and it does a great job whittling away at his spirit.

He works hard to avoid punishment and hopefully to earn extra energon, and the overseers take notice. Its not long before Dee is dragged out of the physical labor stocks and instead thrown into the entertainment stock: bloodsport is a favorite of the quintessons. He has no formal training but has good reflexes and decently athletic body. Putting him up against some cosmic beast or other in the quintessons' gladiator arena is sure to be entertaining. Oh yeah, we're doing gladiator D-16 up in this bitch

Days turn to weeks turn to months, he has no idea how long he's in there or how many dead bodies he has to climb over, but he refuses to die and give them the satisfaction. It feels like an eternity, time passing in a blur, before he's officially named their unofficial champion. His matches are always extremely well attended and he's very popular. The quintessons love watching him disembowel their various beasts and even his fellow mecha.

Here's where we finally get to the fucked up angst. D-16 is considered a wild cybertronian, but wild bots suggest the existence of domesticated mecha. The cybertronians bred in captivity are considered much higher quality, living longer with more mellow temperaments and much easier to train. And as great as Dee is, he'll never be as good as a cybertronian bred in captivity

They drag him in to the reproductive facilities, and through a very robotic procedure, have him artificially inseminated. That's not the horrible part though

For the first several decacycles, Dee is left alone. They don't make him do any fights, they give him enough energon to keep his topped up and full. They actually let him recharge as much as he wants, even give him a comfy little room with a cushioned berth. They want this sparkling to be born healthy, after all, and a healthy carrier is tantamount to that end.

During his unexpected break, Dee tries so hard not to get attached. He knows he can't keep them. Knows that, once they're born and their wee little spark can stabilize, they'll be taken away. As soon as they can survive without him, he'll lose his newspark, and never be able to see them again. They'll be carted off to a designated wetnurse, then start their conditioning just as soon as they're weaned. He can't keep them, so he cannot get attached to them. Surely his spark couldn't bear the suffering

That all goes out the window the first time he feels their little spark fluttering against his, feels the very first blip of their consciousness. Nothing but a bare, ghostly imprint, the faintest hint of "warm-content-nice" nestled close against his soul. And the second that sensation leaks through, love swells in his spark, more intense than anything he's ever felt. He pushes back what he can through the fragile bond, trying to tell them that he's there and he loves them.

It happens after the bitty's spark descends. Once it separates from his spark chamber and transfers to the protoform growing in his belly. With their body and soul merged, the baby kicks for the first time, and Dee is once again overwhelmed. He loves them so much it hurts.

The day after the sparkling starts kicking, he's suddenly brought into the medical wing. The quintessons sedate him with no warning, and when he wakes up there's a fresh incision on his belly. Precisely done welds under his fingers, already cold to the touch as he sleeps his hands over the expanse of his abdomen.

He feels lighter. He's so sore and stuff but he feels lighter. The sparkling is frightfully still inside of him. He can still feel their carrier-creation sparkbond, distantly, and when he reaches out for them he gets a flicker of "cold-afraid-wrong".

He pats and rubs at his belly, trying to get them to respond. To kick back, to squirm around the way they always did when their sparks connected.

Unfortunately, he's never going to get to feel his sparkling kick again 😌 he's the quintessons champion pitfighter, after all. They can't have him out of commission just to bear a single sparkling to term. So they've taken measures to expedite his recovery, performing very premature cesarean and putting the sparkling protoform into an external incubator to continue it's growth. Dee can go back to work and they'll still reap all the benefits of his bloodline, and he's forever scarred, knowing that they knocked him unconscious, slit open his belly, and stole his precious sparkling before they could even be born >:)

...

Hi this is unbeta'd so please forgive my fuck ups lmao. Press F for poor Dee. You want more of this fucked up jaunt? Want this AU to ever see the light of day and not die as a half-baked brain baby? You know what to do aksjskaka-

[septemberlikeastorm]

Obviously, we all got a good laugh out of that "What If...?" Post where Anakin researched the Aniseya Twins in the Jedi Archives and deduced they were his much-older half-sisters. 😄 I don't know if Force-genetics are a thing or if what happened with Aniseya and Koril was the same as what happened with Shimi's pregnancy. Probably not, since Shimi wasn't Force-sensitive, and the other moms were both Force-Witches. But I do find it interesting there is a connection between the Skywalkers and the Aniseyas. Osha and Mae were identical twins; Anakin's children, Luke and Leia, were fraternal twins. Twins tend to run in families, usually skipping a generation. Does that mean there really is a family connection or it just more SW fandom hijinks?

helloooooo my friend i think there is certainly a connection, just not a FAMILY connection, unless you count the Force as a deadbeat dad? if you do take his ass to court, being the Force doesn't excuse you from paying child support

like anakin was basically immaculate conception, whereas osha & mae's mothers actively CHOSE to conceive, & seemingly did something horrific in order to pull it off? which honestly, good for them, that's metal as hell. maculate, murderous conception will forever be more interesting in a story than *waves hands* behold jesus christ superstar!!!!!

for the twins bit, i think perhaps the writers may be using as a touchstone the rate of twins being much higher for artificial insemination than for regular conception? & particularly in the case of osha & mae, it kind of seems they chose to have two in order to split that insane amount of power between them & thus be more stable

also, writers just are & forevermore will be fascinated by the idea of twins, love a good narrative foil

BUT i also love me some fandom shenanigans, maybe there IS a blood connection & osha & mae are so powerful in the Force that it artificially extends their lives & they live to be anakin's weird great aunts who give him bad advice a la:

why not!!!! we speculate like sickos & we die like men!!