#die Insemination

[bonefall]

Is there beef with the Holstein cows and you or what was that joke lol

It's kind of wild It's just never come up on this blog before, but I HATE holsteins. Bottom 10 cow breeds for me. I hate how they're so common they account for the majority of milk produced. I hate that they're the "default" cow to the point where some don't even know cattle HAVE other colors. I hate their tiny horns (IF THEY EVEN HAVE THAT. LOSER ASS HORNLESS COW) and their painfully massive udders.

Legit I'm trying so hard to not launch into a No Mouth Must Scream style AM speech-- shoot my hand slipped.

(AM speech about why i dont like holsteins below the cut)

For starters, I have to give a brief lesson on what these terms mean; the "Holstein" is the American strain of the "Frisian" breed. Frisians are an ancient breed from Frisia, in the north of what we now consider the Netherlands. Crosses between the breeds are "Holstein-Frisians."

(There’s even more to this but im keeping it as simple as possible. Also one of my friends is Frisian and she is probably going to kill me for describing it like that.)

Historically, livestock was adapted to the environment they lived in. Frisians were bred by the Frisii people for hundreds of years in extremely grass-rich, lush, flat environments. The "polders" of the northern parts of the Netherlands. They're huge and eat a LOT of food.

Traditional Frisians were developed to produce as much meat and milk from a single individual as possible, without compromising the health of the cattle with constant inbreeding to get quick gains. We are talking about a breed that is over 2000 years old. They had the perfect environment to make The Ultimate Food Cow and by god they did it. I can respect that.

So, take that, drag it across an ocean to a place that does NOT have polders, and add the rapid enshittification of capitalism to it. BAM you've got a fucking holstein.

There is ONE goal for "improving" the holstein. Make More Milk. As long as the black and white milkbag leaks enough, nothing else matters. Health? Fertility? Feed ratio? Ability to not die of infection? WHO CARES. MILK LINE GO UP.

Over 90% of holsteins are inbred to start with, because Milk Line Go Up. To the tune of having an average COI of 8%-- where extreme negative effects (think Hapsburgs) start to crop up around 10%

Holstein bulls are aggressive bastards (many dairy bulls are), so no one wants to keep intact males in their herds, meaning most cows are artificially inseminated

Not being limited by the natural lifespan of a living bull means that the same stud can keep having direct offspring for decades after his death

Toystory the bull had 500,000 calves before he died, and hit over 1 million offspring in 2015. That's ONE animal and to put this in perspective, there are 9 million holsteins in the US.

DON'T WORRY IT GETS WORSE

Not only can 99% of holsteins be traced back to just two bulls-- 99% of male holsteins share one of two exact Y chromosomes with those two bulls.

The gene pool is so small that it's equivalent to about 60 individuals. Warrior Cat allegiances are larger than that. That's barely bigger than modern ThunderClan.

"Massive lack of genetic diversity" does not begin to capture the existential dread of this situation. Mark my words, WATCH, when the Bird Flu finally mutates a strain that rips through a mammalian population, it's gonna be in the USA and it's going to be through our dairy cattle.

This is not prophecy or me laying a curse on the land, this is the natural consequence of basing the stability of US milk production on the equivalent of 9 million clones of two classrooms worth of individuals, and then packing them in close quarters

And we don't have to wait for doomsday for the impacts to be apparent on the cattle themelves

Holstein fertility has also dropped by half since the 1960s when the intensive inbreeding really kicked into high gear

Because their whole body is dedicating all of their resources to milk production, they have a notoriously "bony" frame.

Show judges, however, like this because they think that's a very "feminine" look for a 1600 pound ruminant. Very normal thing to think.

Like. I don't know if i can communicate this to people who don't look at cows a lot (it's not quite as obviously dramatic as a pug skull) but here is a comparison of an "ideal" show holstein and an "unselected" holstein from a herd that's been established as a sort of "control group" for what they looked like back in the 1960s;

The way that the artery on the "modern" cow's belly runs to the udder like a big pink worm freaks me out the most ngl

The udder also bulges out from between the back legs

The show cow is so thin

And then compare these both to a Holstein-Frisian cross who leans more on the Frisian side;

Proper weight, developed legs. Its biggest "problem" is actually just the udder shape-- deep udders, which "hang" low like that, aren't optimal for milk-focused breeds because the higher away from the ground the less chance there is of infection. In that department, the "unselected" holstein clearly outclasses the holstein-frisian.

But it probably won't be surprising to hear that the "show holstein," with its massive, swollen udder, is SUPER prone to infections such as mastitis.

But it is also just more prone to getting sick generally

And, to keep up with these insane demands, holsteins need a TON of food. You aren't going to just turn these things out into a pasture and be done with it. Even its ancestor the Frisian needed premium Dutch polder grass to be such a good cow-- crank that up to 11 with these Monuments to Humanity's Hubrice

The Texas Longhorn developed in semi-feral conditions and can eat a bush to become the best thing in a 10 mile radius. The Scottish Highland was iron-forged in upland moors with a steady diet of turf and rain.

Meanwhile if a Holstein has less than 5 homemade meals a day without poland spring bottled water it will die to death.

And the WORST part? You have to use these if you want to make money in dairy farming. It's WAAY too expensive to just run a suboptimal farm. Their milk isn't great, but they sure do make a lot of it.

...so Holsteins and Holstein-Frisians (and other "super efficient" breeds) have absolutely decimated heritage cattle. The American Milking Devon is a deep reddish brown with gorgeous horns and low maintenance; rare. Randall Linebacks are painted with lines of white speckles down the back and can be used for any purpose; critically endangered. The Niata was a pug-faced cow who could fight jaguars; extinct.

And THAT'S what makes me hate them most of all. I LOVE cows, but whenever I see a reference to one, it's a holstein. It's always boring black and white splotches with big pink udders. They're practically synonymous with "cow" when their homogeniety is actually hiding much cooler breeds from you.

Did you know cows can be tiger-striped?

And that England has its own type of longhorn?

Or that cow horns can twist upwards like an antelope?

And that they can have REALLY LONG ears?

And that they can be blue?

And that's not even getting into some of the cows that have gotten a small crumb of attention lately, such as Highlands, Ankole-Watusi, and Texas Longhorns. There's so many cool cows out there! And they're all really different from holsteins! MOST of them are also a lot healthier and produce tastier milk and meat!

TL;DR yeah i don't like holsteins and I like sniping at them. For reasons both legit and petty.

[eddtherippr]

I'm thinking about being Natalie's mother:))

Imagine already being in a relationship with Natalie for a long time, you never really got married but you live together and that's enough<3 maybe after a lot of talking you decide to go for insemination and it works out, so now you're going to be mothers♡

I just thought it would be cute and thought of it with Sophie Thatcher's Natalie

She would be so sweet and understanding, but also so clumsy and protective like a puppy.

(gonna do a headcanon post for this one instead of a bot.. but still might make a bot too)

nat w/fem!pregnant!reader

💾 — ⁺ 　 . ✦

anon you're so right about the last part... in the beginning nat's downright terrified just at the idea of having a kid. she's scared of becoming like her mom (or god forbid her dad) and fucking up with her kid the way her parents fucked up with her.

over time she warms up to the idea, so then you talk about the IUI process. nat's never been one to have a medical phobia but you have to talk a LOT about it because she's freaked out by the thought of something going wrong.

jump-cut to the eventual agreement, and then your IUI is a few days away. nat insists on being there with you, calling out from work weeks in advance, encouraging you with little 'you've got this baby's and 'everything's gonna be fine's before the doctor gets in the room even though she's probably more nervous than you are. she's halfway soothing herself, too.

she doesn't really have her first real breakdown over it until you take the pregnancy test two weeks later and it reads positive. because oh my god, you're having a fucking baby. her girl's pregnant, she's going to be a mom. once again, she cries way more than you do.

💾 — ⁺ 　 . ✦

pregnancy is rough— especially with nat at your heels like an adoring puppy the entire time. you can't be mad at her, though— not when she's constantly doting on you, bringing you a heating pad and something warm to drink when you feel sick, holding your hair back while you throw up in the mornings, going out at ungodly hours to get whatever weird shit you're craving from the 7/11 down the street. she's utterly whipped.

and when you first start showing in the second trimester? she goes nuts. hanging off of you constantly, arms wrapped around your waist, hands under your shirt with her palms against your stomach so she can feel the bump. your baby, her baby. she's still not over it.

one night, she holds up her walkman and those little orange headphones with a sheepish smile, explaining that misty told her that babies can hear music in the womb. you listen to mazzy star with the headphones fit over your stomach and nat actually yells out loud when the baby kicks. fucking quigley was right about something for once.

after that, she plays all of her favorite songs for hours, going through a whole case of cassettes with her head on your shoulder and a hand lovingly on your baby bump, grinning a little wider every time she feels a kick.

💾 — ⁺ 　 . ✦

the real scare comes when your water breaks suddenly while you're in the kitchen.

one second she's making fun of you for your questionable meal choice of pickles with ketchup and frosted flakes, the next second there's a puddle on the floor and you're bent over the table. she panics— drops her cigarette in the sink, knocks over two fucking chairs, runs around like a fucking idiot— that kind of panic.

within 5 minutes, you're in the car and she's driving like bo duke. you actually have to grab her arm and get her to slow down so you don't both die in a car crash before you even give birth.

during labor, nat's fucking terrified, not leaving your side for a second. not to eat, piss, or anything, just watching you with clenched fists. Her hands shake when she holds yours at first, but the second she sees you in pain, she gets her shit together real fast. "hey, hey, babe— just breathe, okay? you got this. you’re a badass."

she takes it in stride when you yell at her mid-contraction, because she's not a fucking idiot. "nat, shut the fuck up!" "yep. sorry. my bad."

💾 — ⁺ 　 . ✦

the second she hears that first cry, her whole body just sags in relief. she's teary as fuck and not even trying to hide it. wiping her eyes like crazy. "holy shit, you fucking did it."

when she sees you hold the baby for the first time, she just stares at you like she's not entirely convinced this is fucking real. but when she gets the baby? oh, she breaks. teary smile, laughing and sobbing at the same time, the whole works. she's careful as hell, tracing one finger over a tiny fist.

when she thinks you're asleep, she starts talking. and she just cannot shut the fuck up, whispering to the baby for hours.

"guess you're stuck with me, huh, kid?" she says. "you got real lucky with your mom. she’s— you have no fucking idea how amazing she is yet. but you’ll get to see it."

even quieter, teary and sniffling, you hear her say: "i love you. i'm gonna try. i swear to god i am."

you know she's terrified of being a bad mom, but right now? you're not worried about a goddamn thing. she's gonna be just fine.

[leonie-ftmgirlslut]

I am a girl. I was born female and I will die female. I have XX chromosomes. I have two breasts, a clit and a vagina. I have a womb, fallopian tubes and ovaries.

My choice of words cannot and will not change the fact. My "chest" remains the same, my "T-dick" responds to the same stimuli as a woman. My "hole" gets slick and wet whenever I'm getting turned on.

I am meant for breeding. That's literally the only reason I exist. My ovaries produce eggs for Men to inseminate, to impregnate me so that my body swells with a baby.

How can I call myself a boy, knowing all the facts stated above? I do not have a penis, I cannot breed someone. I can only spread my legs for actual Men to cum inside me, to flood my womb with their semen.

And I will like it.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wish women did not feel so strongly about the fact men, on average, are physically stronger than them. I feel like women have such negative feelings about this that it drives them to ridiculousness. Listen, I get it. I get it, I get it, I get it. The fact men are stronger is frightening. It’s scary to know that if a man decided to physically attack you then you are probably fucked. The USWNT, women who have spent years honing their skills on the field, lost to teenage boys who—when compared to the women—were basically just beginning to develop their talents. I understand how demeaning that can feel to every woman who hears this fact. I can imagine how demeaning it was for the USWNT. I’m sure every woman has been in a situation, playful or threatening, where they have tested their strength against a man and lost miserably. I’ve seen videos where women hit and slapped men with genuine rage and fury and the man barely even flinched. I understand how embarrassing and scary it can be to come to terms with the strength disparity between men and women, but you simply must come to terms with it. Far too many women have taken to pretending that it's not there—this is not a good approach.

Women choose to pretend it's not there because acknowledging that it's there makes them feel inferior. I ask women to remember that this world was built with the ideals of men in mind and to cater to their specific strengths. Men value strength and violence so of course the world is going to seem like those two things are all that’s valued in it. It's no coincidence that many male heroes are physically strong/easily able to cause harm—such as Naruto or John Wick or the Avengers. Of course it feels shitty, as a woman who inhabits this world, to have to acknowledge that your biology generally prevents you from being able to have the ‘can beat anyone in a fight’ type of strength that gets constantly praised.

However, I implore women to consider that men being physically stronger than them is no more of a significant fact than women being able to give birth while men cannot. Women also have biological advantages over men but when was the last time you saw a man calling himself inferior because of them? Imagine if the world was built with female advantages in mind. Imagine a world where the ability to give birth was seen as some sort of pinnacle of human worth. I mean, the ability to give birth is crazy. You are literally creating a whole new life. The female body is capable of providing the necessary tools to bring about a whole new person. Every brain that has thought of something life changing and every hand that has built something new was brought into existence by a woman’s reproductive system. Every single person that has ever so much as breathed was brought to life by a woman, but men never think women are superior for this fact.

Oh, but women couldn’t get pregnant without men, right? No. IVF exists. But even without it, the correct thing to say would be that women cannot get pregnant without sperm. A woman can get artificially inseminated. She never has to go out and find a man to have sex with. Is that not an advantage? Because, I mean, what can a man do if he wants to have a child but no woman is willing to give him one? Hire a surrogate? That comes with a list of complications, is far more intimate than artificial insemination, and is incredibly expensive. How is that not a disadvantage of being male? You may be thinking that you, as a woman, never want to become pregnant, but that is not the point!  The point is that it's arbitrary to look at biological advantages as anything other than completely neutral.

Women also survive famine better and live longer than men. Imagine a world where women held this over men’s heads? But we don’t live in that world. In this world, I’m certain a man would say that they die sooner because of being braver, taking more risks, and doing dangerous jobs. However, if it were women putting themselves in danger and dying as a result, men would not be quick to call us brave; they'd call us the opposite. Idiotic. Foolhardy. Too stupid to take the necessary precautions to keep ourselves alive.

It is just so painful to see women lamenting over the physical disparity between men and women. Let it go. Consider being neutral on the subject of biological advantage. Consider that male strength isn't something to pretend doesn't exist and isn’t something that proves women are inferior.

I understand that acknowledging vulnerability is against the survival Instinct—I get it—but come on. How can we let this get to a point where we’re saying it’s okay for males to enter female sports and beat the absolute crap out of/wipe the floor with women? Them being stronger is neutral! It does not mean anything! But it’s fact. Pretending it’s not only serves to put women in a losing position. Pretending it’s not only serves to make women into a laughing stock. Men will gladly collect medals that belong to women—they’ve been doing that forever. If there was no reason for male and female leagues then there wouldn’t be any. You cannot deny your way into something being true. I also wish it were true that the average woman was evenly matched against the average man, but it’s simply not reality. In the same way that it’s not reality that the average woman is taller than the average man.

I am begging women to think neutrally about this topic instead of being in such deep turmoil over it that they open the door for men to walk all over us.

[lipglossanon]

Crossing the Frame

Infected!Leon S. Kennedy and fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, one shot, horror, body horror, unwanted insemination, OC, mentions of blood/death/bodily harm, vomiting, reader called chief

not proofread; inspired by the Alien series; something before October—might add more later idk

title from Crossing the Frame by Coheed and Cambria

It’s sudden. One moment you’re empty, a void unto yourself. The next, your eyes are open, unseeing as your brain begins to think again, thoughts filling the crevices of your mind. 

You cough violently, curling onto your side, an homage to your fetal beginnings. Pressing a hand to your abdomen, a skittering fear runs down your spine like spider legs. 

Something isn’t right. 

Closing your eyes, you struggle to remember why you’re here. You were to help an agent… one who had been infected by the Plagas strain. Kennedy, you think. The president’s lapdog. 

Pain radiates through your pelvis and you gasp wetly. It needs out, you think. Followed immediately by, what needs out? What’s inside you? Bile rises in your throat. 

Weak as a newborn kitten, you raise up onto your knees. Turning your face away, you gag and cough, a mix of stringy bile and saliva spilling from your mouth. 

A headache throbs behind your right eye; slipping your glasses off, you cup the socket and gently rub your eyelid. It doesn’t ease the pain—but it doesn’t make it worse—so you give up and put your glasses back on. 

Finally looking around, you take in the mess of what was once the lab. Beakers and burners are overturned, unknown liquid spilling off the surface and onto the floor; papers are scattered about like someone just tossed them before leaving. Another searing cramp makes you double over even further, breasts pressing against the tops of your thighs, hands hugging your stomach as you cry out painfully. 

Once you can breathe without wanting to die, you ease back up, slowly climbing to your feet so you can find help. There’s no one left in the lab and the door’s opened halfway, showcasing an empty hallway as far as you can see. 

Shuffling steps outside halt your own progress—hip digging into a counter as you freeze in place. 

“Hello?” Your voice cracks and you have to clear your throat—the dry heaving from earlier making it sting. “Hello?!”

A rattling breath makes you duck behind the counter—unable to see—only able to hear the door being pressed fully open while those same footsteps shuffle inside. 

“Hello,” a voice whispers, “are you in here, Chief?”

You slowly arch your neck up to peek over the counter. An intern, Andy you recall, looks around the room, hand cupping his side where blood has stained through his lab coat. Pushing yourself up, you use the counter as a crutch in order to stand in place. 

“Thank god! You’re alive!” He smiles, hazel eyes tired and strained. 

“What happened?” You rasp, swallowing to smooth your vocal cords. “I think I have a concussion.”

“The subject escaped. Leon Kennedy,” the intern steps closer, wincing with the movement. “He was infected with—“

“Plagas, I remember that,” you gesture to his side. “What about this? Or why’s the room trashed? I think I’m—“

Infected. The word curdles on your tongue like spoiled milk. 

“I woke up already bleeding,” he moves his coat and shirt aside, showing off the padded gauze and tape keeping it bandaged. “I think I got cut from the window overlooking the observation room. It shattered when he broke out.”

You nod, short flashes of memories coming back to you.  It was early morning when they brought Kennedy in for observation. Dressed in only a hospital gown, his skin looked sallow and washed out. The bags under his eyes made the blue that much darker. His hair seemed to be the only thing that defied his poor health, looking sleek and shiny under the fluorescent lights. 

The examiner had the agent remove the upper half of his gown, letting everyone see the raw and irritated scar from the machine that supposedly destroyed the embryo in his chest. X-rays proved there were remnants clinging to his chest wall—the reason why he had been called in to your lab. 

Being the chief medical officer in charge, you had sat quietly in the audience chamber above the room—watching as the scientists and doctors argued and questioned Kennedy, who only had the scattered notes from his mission to really backup any of his claims. 

They injected him, you remember suddenly. He had reacted negatively, body jerking and twitching before he began to scream incoherently, voice raising in pitch until your vision wavered. The glass splintered and rained down on the room, slicing anything in its path.

The alarm began to blare and you locked eyes with what used to be Agent Kennedy, black washing out his sclera and dark veins overtaking his skin like twisting vines. 

“Are you okay?”

Shoulders jerking upward, you shake your head before looking back up into Andy’s drawn face. 

“Yeah, just trying to make it all make sense.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, clenching his teeth suddenly. “Fuck, I fixed myself up as well as I could, but I definitely need to get help.”

“Of course. Are we still under lockdown?”

“Uh huh,” he sucks in his top lip. “It’s why I came this way. I was hoping to find your keycard.”

In case you were dead rings as loud in the room as if he had spoken it. Reaching down, you hold up your lanyard. 

“Lucky for you, I didn’t lose it.”

You both smile even if it’s an empty consolation. 

“Do you need help walking?” You point to his side. 

“I’ll be alright as long as we don’t have to run.”

Both of you know if it comes to that, neither of you would be making it out alive. 

Slowly making your way out of the specimen room—why were you even in this room?!—the intern follows behind you, quiet and careful. The two offices you pass by are empty, not a pencil out of place. The hallway itself doesn’t look like anything is off. A blaring light by the exit’s the only thing to signify anything is awry. 

Leaving the safety of the hallway, you hold the door open for Andy, letting it fall shut once he’s past the threshold. 

“Do you know why I was in this section?” You turn to him, keeping pace instead of walking out in front. 

He shrugs, “Everyone kinda went their own way once he got out. I think someone said you needed to grab the data on the latest test batch?”

You pat your pockets and find a small thumb drive in your overcoat. 

“Okay…” 

You frown down at it, mind still entirely blank. 

“He—“ Andy cut himself off. 

“He what?”

“The subject followed after you. I don’t know if they stopped him or anything like that. I kinda passed out,” he gave you a bitter smile. “I guess at least I wasn’t outright killed.”

“So he killed people?”

Andy nodded, “We’ll pass a few colleagues. Rose and Dr. Kline. Others are too bad to guess.”

You feel a pang of sadness, “That’s awful.”

The intern doesn’t say anything, eyes cast down to the floor. You let the conversation go, splitting your attention between your surroundings and the young man walking next to you. Surprisingly, it’s an uneventful walk out of the research and development area. But once you meet the intersection between it and medical, everything changes. 

The door slides open with a low hiss and you freeze, the salty tang of copper wafting out. The stench of blood and god knows what dogs your footsteps as you guide Andy through the carnage littering the floor. 

“It’s so much worse than before,” he whispers. “It’s like he came back.”

Fear makes your legs weak but you press on, eyes darting around for any movement, ears straining for any odd sounds. The alarm system wails in the distance, amber emergency lights pulsing in time with the sound. You eventually pass by Dr. Kline and his assistant Rose, mutilated in ways that turn your stomach. Andy touches your arm and you push past the bodies, eyes eagerly seeking out the red EXIT sign attached to the stairwell door. 

You touch the handle and a searing bolt of agony rips through your abdomen, like something with a mouthful of teeth is shredding your uterus. It hurts so much you can’t even make any noise, collapsing onto your knees, hands wrapped around your middle like it will stave off the pain. 

“Chief?!”

Andy tries to kneel but groans, legs shaking as he rights himself, hand grasping your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” his voice breaks, “I can’t lift you, Chief. Please, stand up. We’re almost out.”

You open your mouth to reply and puke, bile rushing up from your stomach to stain the floor. Eyes watering, you dry heave for far longer than last time until your body has nothing left to give. 

“Please,” the young man whimpers, “I don’t wanna be alone.”

A shaky hand reaches up to pat the one he has in your shoulder, “I-I’m okay. I think.. I think I’m sick. I don’t know if it’s safe to even be around me.”

Standing up, he doesn’t pull away. 

“We both probably are,” he mumbles, eyes drifting to the door. “But we gotta try.”

You press a hand to your abdomen, “No, Andy. I think I’m—“

“A host.”

A new voice cuts in—low, humorous. You both turn, the young man beside you grabbing your bicep with an iron grip. It takes a second to spot who spoke. Eyes partially concealed by blood soaked fringe peek from around the corner, an off shoot hallway in the opposite direction of the emergency exit.

One hand with abnormally long fingers, creeps over the edge like a deformed spider. The nails look like sharp little talons, and what skin you can see is dark, dry and scaly. 

“He’s, he’s not—oh god, what is he?” Andy whispers, and you shake your head. 

“I don’t know.”

Kennedy laughs and it floods your body with chills. 

“I’ve evolved,” he speaks, voice normal in complete opposition to his looks. “She will be, too.”

Andy subtly tugs your arm and you both take a step back, eyes never wavering from the eerie stare from the creature in front of you. A chittering noise comes from Kennedy and his other hand joins the first, splaying wide against the wall. 

“It was so easy to make you a host,” he laughs again, eyes glittering. “And you didn’t even lose any blood.”

The pair of you make another shuffling step back before those dark eyes narrow. You snap your CAC off of your lanyard clasp and press it against the hand Andy’s using to grip your arm. 

“Take it,” you hiss under your breath. “Go first, get to the containment ward. If everything’s gone to shit, activate the evacuation code and seal yourself off from here.”

“What about—“

Tears drip from your eyes, “I’m contaminated. Please, Andy, just get out of here. I’ll try my best to buy you time.”

“Okay,” he lets out a wet sounding breath. “Okay, Chief. I-I’ll do what I can. Thank you.”

You nod and he finally lets go of you, the heat at your side slipping away. Listening to his shuffling steps, you hear the security pad beep, followed by the stairwell door swinging open. It closes with a soft snick, but you don’t turn away from the pair of eyes in front of you.  

“You knooow you can’t stop me,” that chittering noise again making you realize that’s his laugh. “But it’s sweet of you to give him a head start.”

The cramping in your abdomen is beginning to flair up again but you grit your teeth and take a half step back. You continue walking backwards until your back bumps the door. Hating having to lose sight of him, you turn your sights on the security pad. You make quick work of it, you pull the lab ID card from your pocket, slide it into the slot, and snap off the bottom. The pad blares red—ERROR repeating itself across the small screen. 

“Do you think that’ll stop me?”

He murmurs directly behind you, raising the hairs on the back of your neck. 

You’re too scared to turn around. 

“Probably not, but it invokes a building wide security warning and shutdown,” voice trembling, you reply. “It also alerts the Agency that there’s been a breach.”

He hums, “Clever. Not that it matters.”

Those hands of his, basically scaly claws at this point, wrap their disjointed fingers across your waist and interlock—trapping you in place. The parasite in your body trashes wildly, cramps perforating your abdomen until you become only pain; your legs tremble, weight now held up by the monster’s hands—fear overriding the incessant will to live. 

“It needs out,” he croons, a strange clicking echoing behind you—like mandibles, you think almost deliriously. “Doesn’t it?”

Glancing down, you catch a segmented tail slipping away, tipped with a hardened exoskeleton that looks sharp enough to pierce. Gray begins to creep into your vision as your legs fully give out, Kennedy’s odd hands catching you underneath your breasts, pressing on your ribs so hard you feel the muscles shift.

You’re able to catch sight of his mutated face before passing out; too horrified to scream, you welcome the reprieve of inky darkness. 

[girlfishes]

I think that there is a compelling biological argument that men are naturally aggressive.

This will be me yapping for way too long, but hear me out.

In many sexually dimorphic species, the males live a very short life. Think of bugs, like spiders and wasps. When males are born, they inseminate eggs and then die, or eaten, or exiled. To keep them involved any longer is a waste of resources that could be used on the females to create more offspring. Male bugs live a harsh life, because they are barely necessary except in their limited reproductive role.

Bugs are r-selective species, which means that their reproductive cycles prioritize producing as many offspring as possible with the expectation that most will die before they reach maturity. And the limiting factor in that equation is the number of females, which means that more males are created than are necessary in a 50-50 split.

As life forms become more complex, species become k-selective. This means that the energy in reproduction is put into creating few good-quality offspring. The mothers spend more time with their children, gestate them inside their bodies in the case of mammals, and stay with them until they reach maturity. It takes much longer for a k-selective species to reach sexual maturity, and males in such species are no longer anatomically inferior like they are as bugs.

The primary interest of the individual male is to make sure that his genes are passed on. But this isn’t so easy. I’m going to speak in terms of bears from now on. One male bear can impregnate 50 female bears, and those female bears will no longer be fertile for some time. Bears won’t just pair off monogamously, so male bears face steep competition. They kill each other and they kill each other’s cubs in competition to the limited females who can pass on their genes.

Now what does this have to do with humans? Well, we’ve established that in order to survive and personally reproduce, a male of any species is fighting an uphill battle due to the limited number of females and the female need to not waste precious resources on them. Both of these stem from the different reproductive roles inherent in sexual dimorphism seen across species. The males who succeed in reproducing will have necessarily been stronger and more aggressive. Basic survival of the fittest method will tell you that whatever causes these traits will be passed down.

Humans are the same. The bodies of women are largely organized around the production of large gametes and the gestation and feeding of offspring. The male body is organized around the production of small gametes. Males have been selective bread over millions of years to compete with other men and ensure that women cannot siphon resources away from them. This manifest in higher muscle mass, larger stature, and yes, high testosterone.

For thousands of years human males have forced themselves to remain relevant by crippling the lives and freedoms of women by the disabling nature of pregnancy and their superior strength. They also wage this battle psychologically, which is unique to human beings.

It is important to note that I can argue these points and still acknowledge that men do have the ability to think, feel, and reflect on their actions. If they so chose, they could turn their backs on this troubled past and start a new way of society which values individuals for their minds instead of their bodies.

This is not a fatalist dooming of all future men to forever stick to this pattern. The aggressive actions of men are borne from a deep insecurity that women do not need them. Because we don’t. But the thing is, human beings are capable of valuing each other for more than our reproductive roles or capabilities. Men need to not let their maleness define how they relate to women and each other, but let their humanity guide how they treat other humans. Only then can we leave this all behind.

If you read all of this, thanks for bearing with me.

[raplinesmoon]

원샷! (One-Shot!): Series Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Yoongi x Doctor!Reader (feat. Seokjin)

Genres: drabble series, nsfw, crack, fluff, smut, tiny bit of angst, medical au, idiots-to-lovers

Tags/Warnings (to be updated as series moves along): cynical Yoongi, hospital talk, artificial insemination and pregnancy, sperm for insemnation switched without readers’ knowledge/consent, 20,000 different ways to say sperm, unhinged behaviour from OC and Yoongi, probably HIPAA non-compliance, intoxication, marijuana use, eventual smut

Summary: Yoongi escapes the friend zone in the most unexpected way ever conceived (based on the movie, The Switch).

a/n: Let me know if you’d like to be tagged when I update!

1. 원샷! (One-shot!)

Yoongi’s friendship with you is the one bright spot in his life. So when you tell him you’re ready to have a baby, he thinks this will finally be his shot to take your friendship to the next level. Cue a few shots of soju, and one insemination party, and Yoongi suddenly has a huge problem on his hands.

1.5. Half The Man

As your pregnancy progresses, Yoongi continues to wrestle with his long-standing feelings, culminating in an argument that has you making an unexpected move.

2. Take Two

Yoongi hasn't seen you for a long time, so when you invite him to dinner, he's surprised by the guest who tags along.

3. Three's A Crowd

After taking on an unexpected baby-sitting gig, Yoongi finds himself warming up to his new set of responsibilities.

4. How I Met Four Mother

A drunken night out has an unpredictable ending where Yoongi decides he can no longer hold back.

5. Five and Let Die

Months pass, and Yoongi finds himself contemplating if the consequences of the decision he made years ago were worth it.

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Trans Bruce Wayne who accidentally gets inseminated Jane the Virgin way but the supposed parents die due to an accident before Bruce realizes he's pregnant

Now the kids learn Bruce is pregnant, but know he hasn't been on dates and then they secretly worry if he's been harmed till the hospital contacts Bruce and now they're all trying to find a way to punish said doc other than suing the shit out of said doc.

Idk just an idea but I know the batkids ain't giving shit by saying Bruce was reckless when it was the hospital that fucked up

[getouyuri]

plsplspls more info on personal assistant gojo and milf reader cause I'm thinking thoughts

whatever my angel wants, my angel gets 🙂‍↕️

• our darling gojobear is interning at reader’s company :3 he’s supposed to take over as the CEO of Limitless, his family’s tech company, but his parents are apprehensive for a few reasons. so his parents are literally PAYING him to go to your company for extra experience 😭 so he’s not on your payroll and technically isn’t registered as an actual employee to your company. he started at the bottom rungs at your company but you were like ‘🥺 wait he’s a good worker (minus his many mishaps…) and cute. I’m making him my assistant’

• reader is the CEO of a company partnered with Limitless and is an itadori!! specifically yuuji’s older sister. all your employees are slightly afraid of you cos you can go from ‘☺️🌸🌤️🧚 lalalala’ to intimidating as hell in seconds

• you’re flying solo; you’re single and have no interest in marrying, HOWEVER, you’ve always wanted a kid of your own. adoption interested you but you wanted to go through pregnancy yourself, so you went the artificial insemination route

• following your brief break from the company and your pregnancy announcement, you had gojo’s desk moved into your office and he became more of an errand boy than anything 😭😭 every day on his way to work gojo buys a sweet treat for himself + coffee along with multiple pastries that you munch on throughout the day, runs papers for you up and down flights of stairs, swings by the convenience store across the street to buy you liquid prenatal and seat cushions for your changing body and tummy drops etc etc, makes you tea… the list goes on

• gojo is absolutely infatuated with you and it doesn’t help that you’re incredibly sweet on him. you give him special treatment, always compliment him for a job well done (complete with head pats, which he shouldn’t like so much but well…), and more.

• other stuff: sometimes you want air so you convince him to go to the park with you, where the both of you feed birds and chat about nothing; he always escorts you around with your hand on his elbow because it makes him feel all princely and gentlemanly. gojo most definitely does not jerk off to you in the staff bathroom from time to time 😇. you’re a few years older than him. he massages your shoulders whenever your back hurts (you complain very loudly until he offers) and tries not to die when you sink into him, purring. the two of you tend to ignore work and just yap in your office like two gossiping teenage girls. he thinks you’re soooo strong and amazing and he knows you’ll be a great mom; he greatly admires you for being able to seamlessly juggle your company and parenthood

[askviktor]

Hey did you know that octopuses can detach their penis? The reason why they have the ability to do this is so they can inseminate the female without getting cannibalised by their mating partner, so they basically detach their peen and it will swim towards the vagina of the female

Drone dick ;)

Also its usually better that the males get cannibalised since trying to find food in the deep is very hard and usually after the mating is done if the males arent eaten they become senescence and die and the females also die after their eggs hatch

Man i didn't mean to end this on such a bummer :(

...hmm. I think the comparison stands.

Thank you for the disconcerting lesson!

[eldritch-spouse]

If Breg and Bregina are sharing an S/O during heat could Bregina accidentally get pregnant from grinding on your creampied crotch?

Well... Possibly, yes.

Okay, ideally, Breg would clean you after the deed, or you push him away to try and get some sense in both their heads about needing to clean up. This isn't likely to work too well but it's worth the old college try. Alternatively, you can rapidly try to clean yourself up using whatever's around you, which is bound to be sloppy and get interrupted by an angry Breg. Distracting Gina with stimulation that doesn't involve your pussy is an idea, but only a temporary one.

In the event that Gina gets pregnant, both her and Breg would instantly feel it. Panic will unfold.

Let me explain why.

TW: Past sexual abuse; Meltdowns (happy ending though)

First, in Bregina's side. Considering she is essentially a genderbent Breg, this breeder was considered a top sow at the facility just as Breg was a top stud. This means that pregnancy was forced upon her several times, and forcibly attempted several other times. The concept of baring a child is now extremely stressful for her and it's something that she's constantly at war with due to her increased urge to reproduce. Breeders were made for repopulation purposes, so when a lived experience is constantly contradicting that urge, it generates a very mentally taxing dynamic.

Perhaps, if every aspect of the pregnancy was left in Gina's hands only, she would come to welcome the idea of being artificially inseminated so that she can bare a child and raise it with her angel, you.

But a surprise pregnancy achieved in the midst of blind lust, from someone she did not consent to getting impregnated by? Oh boy, meltdown time.

Breg is equally upset and confused. On the one hand, rut instincts tell him he now has to guard and provide for Gina as well. On the other, what's left of his logic reminds him that he does not want kids with Gina, that he doesn't love her, that this was a massive mistake and he can't fix it.

Two breeders are volatile and freaking the ever living fuck out around you. You might not even know the reason as to why yet!

Your best bet is to take over and provide them comfort in any way you can. Gina would rather die than abort, even if this was unplanned and unwanted. And Breg, for once, takes a more responsible stance by promising to help raise the hatchling. They will bicker for a long while about how to normalize things, but eventually reach an understanding.

The hatchling is both Breg's and Gina's biologically, and figuratively speaking, Bregina got pregnant because of you, because of sex with you, Breg only provided the material, so to say. So this is also your child, you helped in the making of it. They both settle on the fact that this breederling is yours too and it seems to calm them down.

You gave them the ability to have a family, and they are grateful to you, as it is part of their dream.

[olivexing]

Are there other merpeople/mythical creatures in Ben and Olympe’s world?

Yes; but there aren’t many like him- just Olympe and his hundred odd sisters. He keeps company with other real sea creatures - his friend is an octopus he couldn’t eat (he tried, but it wouldn’t let go of his hand!)

Olympe and his hundred odd sisters are the offspring of an eldritch fish monster from the deep- which one of the first deep sea missions in the Atlantic had the misfortune of encountering in the mid 1800s.

Their mother ate a deep sea explorer and, curious about humanity, inseminated herself with his seed. She then traveled to a cove to lay all her eggs; most of the eggs weren’t viable, but about a hundred or so yielded half-human, half eldritch fish monster children. They are all siblings, and they are all infertile. Olympe and his sisters are the only merpeople ever - and they will never reproduce. They will all die out by the 1970s.

[screeechingbat]

I was thinking about the time I saw someone comment on the morality behind the experiments on dinosaurs and was asking “how could someone do this?”, and it made me think about how I never questioned that. Like, I’ve been vegan for so long that seeing horrific acts of animal abuse like that is run of the mill behavior for me when it comes to animal centered industries.

Unethical breeding is rampant across every single domesticated species to the point where the villains in Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory aren’t actually that out there in their evilness. They’re literally just regular people who were given the chance to genetically modify animals and educated enough to do it.

Just look at…

- How flat muzzled dogs and cats struggle to breathe due to how they’re purposefully bred.

- How pure bred dogs are bred by people who know full well that they have hereditary health issues.

- How poultry raise for meat are purposely bred (and overfed) to the point of heart attacks and broken legs because they’re bodies can’t handle their weight and how egg-laying hens are generally malnourished due to the constant laying they’ve been purposefully bred to do.

- How dairy cows are purposefully bred to produce so much milk that once they’ve been forced to reproduce (the vast majority are bred through artificial insemination)(most domesticated animals are) milking is pretty much a necessity because otherwise their udders get swollen and cracked, which is painful.

- How sheep are purposefully bred to the point of needing to be sheared because otherwise they’ll overheat and die.

- How lop-earred rabbits are purposefully bred to have their ears that way, despite the fact that it affects their hearing and a lot of them end up becoming deaf from it.

People who choose to genetically modify animals, or even just continue to breed them once they’ve already been modified for specific looks and purposes, in the first place generally don’t view them as living, breathing animals with experiences or feelings, they look at them as products to shape and sell.

And they do it because they can, hardly anyone is actually trying to stop them and the majority of people straight up encourage the behavior by creating demand (knowingly or unknowingly).

[aziraphales-library]

Hello amazing librarians!

I remember vaguely reading a few different fics that included this subject but cannot for the life of me find them again. I figured I'd take a shot in the dark and reach out.

Specifically, they were alpha/beta/omega based, where there were established shelters that helped abused omegas while trying to change the system of oppression to how Omegas were treated. Alphas were the one's running the shelters (either Aziraphale or Crowley) and it was how they found one another, tentatively learning to trust again after traumatizing experiences.

Thank you so much for all that you do! It's absolutely incredible, and you deserve every kind of edible arrangement.

Hi! I can't find any exactly like that, but here are a couple where they meet through a/b/o organisational systems and one where shelters are mentioned but they do not meet at one. Mind the tags, folks!...

Therapy Alpha by Anonymous (E)

Crowley is a Therapy Alpha as well as a professional breeding stud. His duties include breeding in-heat omegas on their 1st, or ‘presentation’ heat, to keep them healthy. He also offers ongoing training to help them adapt to their new situation, before passing them on to be claimed by another Alpha permanently. He is only meant to breed them, but not claim them with a bite, until he meets someone who he simply can’t resist: a blond haired bookshop owner named Aziraphale Fell. Aziraphale transformed into an omega late in life due to an unknown medical complication, and it just so happened that the on-call attending Alpha at the hospital that day, was a rather handsome red-head named Crowley. This fic contains elements of dubcon, but no noncon. All parties want intimacy, but it is driven by hormonal drives. Yes there is a “fuck or die” trope in action here. TW for breeding, pregnancy, insemination, knotting, claiming bites, heats, ruts, and all those juicy things you come to expect from an A/B/O fic.

Untouchable by VeryWrongEverything (E)

Crowley ran from an unhappy relationship with an Alpha and ended up in another Alpha's house on the same day.

Duty and Desire by Purple_Rose_Writes (M)

A Regency-Era GO Omegaverse Human AU Aziraphale Heavens has resisted taking a mate, but when the family hits hard times, he has no choice. His fears about being mated to an alpha he's never met are only heightened when Alpha Anthony Crowley is rather non-traditional. Is he doomed to a life of abuse and mistreatment? Or is there more to Crowley than meets the eye?

- Mod D

[lixenn]

Absolutely unhinged scene idea:

Felicia sliding into Varia medical: LUSS-NEE!! *pants* LUSS-NEE! I need you to put a baby in me! Lussuria: ... Lussuria: What. Felicia grabbing his hands: Put. A baby. In. Me. Luss: Licia, darling, I'm incredibly flattered but sure you know that we are not exactly... Compatible. Felicia: What? Ewww! Not in that way! I meant... You know the science way! Luss, muttering: The science way? Oh you mean artificial insemination! Felicia: Yes! That! Luss: Alright darling I'm sure we can figure something out do you have a donor in mind already? Felicia: Well, he's gotta be handsome right? And smart! Also he can't be from a Mafia family because then there could be inheritance drama and I'm not messing with that. Luss: Well, seems like a good start, though Licia-love that's really not how genetics work. Felicia clearly not listening: !! I'm gonna ask Chief! Luss: What?! NO!! Felicia: Byebye Luss, gotta go! *runs away leaving a dust behind*

...

Yeah, so Chief is gonna file for a sexual harrasment charge lmao.

Also, why does Felicia want a kid? Well... tbh in my head I feel like @dreamieparadise's Momina just off handedly mentioned wanting children, so Felicia instantly went: I need a baby right now! <- you could read this as them already dating or not because I can promise you that Felicia is actually impulsive enough to plan a pregancy even though she isn't actually dating the person she fell in love with. Cause that girl is as crazy as the next Varia assassin and considering the fact that one of them actively wants to die in a firey glory she needs to make it up with other ways.

[atopvisenyashill]

fanfic recs part deux

i wanted to post this forever ago but i’ve been reading soooo slowly lol and i still have like 30 fics bookmarked that i want to read ntm trying to find old fics i liked but didn’t bookmark. i think most of these are one shots altho some of them are series or multi chapter. i put a lil star next to the ones that are multi chapter if you’re someone who wants something long to read. also, the ones that are pretty colors are the ones i’m very fond of.

ALSO, i am always trying to recreate the absolute high i get whenever the fire of our blood and the black widow update. i like to rec them bc i love them but also bc one is very pro greens and ones very pro blacks and i personally love how differently they approach the question “can the dance ever actually be avoided?” with their stories. Also best part (imo) is no one gets butterfly effected away!!!

but okay onto the fics i've read and enjoyed let's goooo-

AUs where someone is butterfly effected away

viable alternatives by madina -> ✨dance au where rhaenys decides to get involved in the life of her son a little bit earlier, and researches a way to artificially inseminate rhaenyra. it deals a lot with the childhoods of daemon, viserys, and rhaenys, and features a lot jacemond and jacegon. butterfly effects away the dragon twins. also, if you like the series, there's some cute art made for it.

wrestling with snakes by madgirlslovesong -> ✨imagine book canon but viserys has the personality of viserys ii instead of viserys i. it's interesting, and intricately plotted out, and i love fic where you can see the work the author put into detailing everything. butterfly effects away all the kids, also, there's art here.

from ashes to embers by ladyalianora -> ✨rhaenyra is reborn just before viserys takes a wife, told by the gods she must attempt to stop the war. plays kinda fast and loose with timelines and canon (it's a mix of show and books). i adore the characterization of rhaenyra in it. butterfly effects away all of the kids.

all you have is your fire (and the place you need to reach) by sunchaser -> ✨rec-ed by @camagueyys rhaenyra and qoren are engaged in order to bring dorne into the realm. as part of the agreement, qoren comes to foster at king's landing until rhaenyra is of age, where they will move to Summerhall, which will become rhaenyra’s seat to pass onto her children. except, of course, people die and the line of succession for dorne and the iron throne starts getting very complicated. i love the concept of rhaenyra marrying qoren and i like the way this fic explores that, and also i love how aemma and alicent are written in this.

longing comes running by theicedragon -> ✨wherein rhaenyra's first born is a daughter named velaena instead of a son named jacaerys. velaena becomes rhaenyra's heir and develops an interesting relationship with her uncle aemond. this is my new obsession. i love the way the fic really digs into how gender and legitimacy intersect and the ways that would impact valaena (and rhaenyra). i reblogged a graphic for it a while back too, show the author some love if you're interested!

An Excerpt From Chapter Two ("The Heiress and the Eldest Son”) of Maester Orwyle’s History of Rhaenyra I's Reign by lamelessnes -> incredibly short (like 350 words) but it’s written in the style of fire and blood and i think it’s fun. AU where Rhaenyra is forced to marry Aegon.

writ in blood by zzbkit4 -> ✨rhaegar wins on the trident but the war is a long way from over. i’ve mentioned this one before because it’s an au scenario a lot of people love to think about and it’s REALLY well done. mostly catelyn’s pov with a fair amount of dornish povs, as well as lyanna, benjen, and rhaella.

AUs where love saves the day and anyone who doesn’t like it gets stomped into paste

fear in his eyes by raybyanothername -> driftmark au. daemon notices aegon seems scared of otto, then catches otto smacking aegon around just before the fight. this one is all sweetness which is perfect if you're in the mood for that. i really loved the lucemond dynamic especially; i think it's a very realistic portrayal of the way two small kids would deal with the fallout of a violent incident like that.

when first we faced, and touching showed (how well we knew the early moves) by mrdcai -> rhaenyra pushes harder for jacaerys and helaena to marry, so alicent is forced to allow the two to spend time together to see if they suit. there's a heavy focus on romantic rhaenicent that i love in this one, and it’s also just (imo) well done in how the relationships all develop. i’m very fond of this one!

breakdowns by raybyanothername -> a bunch of aus where person a has a breakdown in front of person b and it avoids the dance. the pairings were really fun and interesting!!

a knight of the north by stevem1 -> au where the kingsguard do their goddamn duty and there’s midwives taking care of lyanna & baby jon. i love daynes, i love starks, this has daynes and starks. i wish it wasn’t just a one shot tho bc lyanna, ashara, and ned all in winterfell is so interesting to me.

main canon/canon compliant

even to the edge of doom by lilith_morgana -> rec-ed to me by @riana-one . joanna's life as she grows up, falls in love with tywin, has children, and then dies. i enjoyed it a lot, i thought it was a really great take on joanna as well as great way of depicting tywin.

before the day is done by crossingwinter -> ✨rec-ed to me by @allyriadayne . an overview of elaena targaryen’s life from her time in the maidenvault to her old age. i loved it a lot!!!! multi chapter AND focused on my girl, amazing ten stars out of five.

the queen of love and beauty by catelynstark956 -> ✨otherwise known as the harrenhal au where ned and catelyn meet at the harrenhal tourney and fall in love. i adore this fic sooooo much, so romantic, such a great read on the dynamics between everyone in the lead up to robert’s rebellion.

the dunk & egg universe by ariel2me -> ✨a bunch of ficlets set during the time where dunk & egg are traveling westeros together. i really liked it, got the more adventurous/humorous tone down very well.

post canon/twow speculation

in the midst of the ruins by iday -> jonsa fic, post war for the dawn. while living out his days out of sight and out of mind, jon gets a raven from winterfell with only two words: "come home." so he does. brienne and podrick are also there. very cute, contained little story, and an older jonsa fic.

varg-hamr/wolfskin by undercovercaptain -> a take on jon's ressurection and sansa as the girl in gray that i think is well done and also roughly what i predict will happen (leaving room for some crazy grrm-ness tho, obviously)

saw you in the snow by sleepingwithwolves -> another girl in gray esque take but with bran coming to sansa in a weirwood dream as well as jon. my soft spot is "bran helping his siblings through dreams" so!!