#didnt mean for this to be this long d:
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reel-fear · 6 months ago
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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mochiiniko · 1 year ago
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READ CLIPBOARD NOTES GRAHHHHHHH
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skeletalheartattack · 5 months ago
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
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yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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thanatosaria · 25 days ago
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just come kiss me and bite me ✨
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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donaviolet · 4 months ago
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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thoughtpeek · 3 days ago
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I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!
#clai speaks#spoilers in the tags probably#ahhh first of all i am still astounded the game exists at all. we all thought m&l was done forever but here it is!!!#the timing of me playing superstar saga and getting really into mario last year couldnt have been better#i mean i probably would have played brothership still even if mario hadnt become a main interest of mine like that. but anyway#absolutely stellar re-entry into the series it did not disappoint in the SLIGHTEST#i think i 100%'d it? only thing i didnt do was finish that last dyode dance sequence but like its fiiiine#took about 50 hours i didnt get a chance to check my final time. really surprised that the game went that long!#i dont think it was a bad thing at all though. the game mostly didnt feel like it was overstaying its welcome#i did think lottacoins and the lower level solitree went a tad too long and i didnt like them but only a little. they're still fine sections#surprised that i didnt even feel like the sidequests were a drag they were all alright!#character interactions were so good ofc. love the new cast!! starlow felt a bit flat which is a shame but she also didnt appear much so#the sidequest where she visits bowser and he calls her chippy!!!! made me so happy!!!!!#all the callbacks were so good i'm glad they can still do that. yelled out loud after finding the peasley reef#docking points for no dreambert reef however. jail worthy offence#on reclusa specifically i dont have a lot to say about his character he's just your typical evil for the sake of evil villain#but i have to say i Love his design. the really exaggerated facial expressions and that clown neck frill. really fun character actually!!#ahhh call me childish but i'm never a fan of endings where friends separate but i like to think the second uni-tree--#--will allow them to link back up once its grown and can generate more connectar to do it#cant say if its my favorite yet bc recency bias is still too fresh but its absolutely my second favorite m&l game at least!!#i havent played paper jam yet i wanted to play the original paper mario and spm first. but i always hear its bad so??#brothership is at least on par with dream team for me rn. absolutely stellar game#i hope this means we'll get more m&l someday! i've already left a very positive response on the survey they put out#anyway. now to decide what to play next because i have a MASSIVE backlog of games and i didnt think this would take this long BJDHJFHF#10/10!!!! please play brothership immediately
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moonstandardtime · 2 years ago
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trucy from my breath of the wild au :)
#my art#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#trucy wright#her outfit is based off both the sheikah and yiga :D#in this au the gramaryes are like. a small group that used to be part of the yiga but split off#and now have a tentative truce between both the yiga and the sheikah#they split off bc they didnt like how like. pro-ganon? culty? it was. they r still Very morally gray tho#trucy and apollo r interesting in this au bc apollo is precalamity (as the rito champion)#and trucy is post calamity (as a kass-like figure. she does the shrine riddles and champions ballad. no instrument tho just magic)#and lamiroir is. both.#klavier is link and lamiroir gifts him a guitar pre-calamity as thalassa#and then post calamity shes like pikango. that sheikah guy who goes around painting and shows you where memories are#shes alive this long bc. some bs abt sheikah lifespans idk#i spent far too long trying to come up with something that made sense.#i mean a way for sheikah ages to make sense not just lamiroirs age. bc good lord#precalamity impa and robbie are abt the same age. or close enough at least#if anything robbie is older#and yet! impa looks like shes abt ready to topple over dead while robbie looks. literally fine#i would see him jogging down the street at a brisk pace and hardly even question it#not even gonna touch upon ss impa. thats some early old testament divine intervention shit. physicians hate her#kogha too. bro did not age a day during those hundred years. LORD#not that u can see him. but hes got the same physical ability. and hes definitely older than the sheikah old ppl#is it the bananas?? what#anyway.gh
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mundmutter · 12 days ago
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@guhamun encountered the alchemist for the cursebreaker | sc
         preparations  for  the  first  date  in  her  entire  life  were  going  a  little  too  perfectly  than  expected,  and  she  hated  it.  To  be  ‘perfect’  was  to  be  without  room  for  improvements.  When  there  was  nothing  to  improve,  there  was  nothing  to  be  focused  on.  Everything  was  already  prepared  for  their  evening  together  ;  kitchen  immaculate  as  always,  chaffee  brushed  and  nails  clipped,  a  tasteful  maxi-dress  in  a  dark  blue  floral  that  hugged  all  of  her  curves   (  the  saleswoman  that  had  nearly  shoved  it  into  her  bag  absolutely  insisted  -  ),  hair  straightened,  nails  shining  pale  pink  and  white  .  .  .  even  makeup  to  compliment  the  occasion.  She  looked.  Well.  Like  a  modern  woman,  rather  than  the  pale  and  paltry  child  once  cursed  to  loneliness  in  the  cages  of  her  fathers'  land.  She looked beautiful. She felt beautiful. 
It  hits  her  all  at  once  when  passing  by  the  hallway  mirror  to  answer  the  door,  just  how  different  her  life  has  ventured  from  what  it  was  before.  Seeking  love,  who  would  have  thought  it  possible?  Though  there  still  remains  the  chance  that  Kento  would  not  be  returning  her  love,  this  here  was  the  first  step  in  retaining  complete  control  of  her  life.  And  for  that,  she  was  happy.  Beaming  at  the  Woman  in  the  mirror.  Herself. 
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        “  Kento-san,  I'm  so  happy  to  see  you!  ”    pearly  white  teeth  shine  in  her  smile as she opens the door,  nearly  reaching  out  to  hug  him  -  when  Chaffee  had  come  walking  excitedly  to  the  new  guest,  tail  swishing  furiously  as  he  pressed  his  nose  against  Kento's  finely  pressed  clothes  and  hands,  sniffing  deeply,  groaning  and  whining  with  joy.        “  Ah,  Ah,  Chaffee,  come  on  now,  taht  boy!  ” 
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mangosteen · 1 month ago
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i dont ever post about my life here anymore but i am going to bafta soon. which i am looking forward to
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months ago
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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msftsn · 4 months ago
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and @maljefe wrote in the journal; staining paper with ink to bleed the words : ❛  the truth is, i don’t want just anyone. i want you.  ❜ love confessions . loni & kazimir .
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unnaturally blue eyes widen for a moment, surprise taking the cyborgs visage over like a thundering storm and for a moment it was as if kazimir brahms didn't exist. as if that cursed man from all those years ago was still alive, still human. as if that wretched man was standing here instead of him. as if there was still any humanity left in him. he stares at her, looking as though she'd just casually revealed the secrets of the world to him. she looks conflicted, as if she too can sense that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. the playful banter, the tension in the air ... it was supposed to be casual. sort of. they both knew better than to chase after something with someone who could ruin their life. & yet here they were. for a selfish moment he wants to smile.
because he never stopped loving her even after death.
his mouth opens, and perhaps for the first time since kazimir brahms first came to be his voice is more human than robotic; his throat constricts, hurts with the strain as it trembles in shock. even though he knows that he shouldn't be saying anything when he was the one who sought her out, who wouldn't let his past remain buried and followed her even though she didn't even recognize him. who selfishly pulled her in and pulled her close while donning and entirely new life and name. they both silently agreed that this was not going to be some cheesy story. that she'd do her thing just like he'd do his - that the closest to commitment they shared would be chris because whether he wanted to or not, that was her son. what foolish, emotional hypocrites they had been. his voice trembles, shivers. cracks and wavers.
❛  this isn't supposed to happen! you can't just fall in love with me!  ❜ - ❛  too late. ❜
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she looks at him as if she's not sure if she can truly reach him; as if she didn't know she already owned his heart before she even knew him. and she doesn't, he remembers. because he's cruel. unfair. because he never truly told her anything other than the scraps he was willing to throw over his wall. he wants to think that maybe he wasn't built for love, but even though he knows he wasn't ... he does. he loves. he loves her with all his heart, with every fiber of his being and every piece of his brain. with every last bit of his soul; he loved loni valadian. itohan eghide once said that the actuality that the heart does not want to feel doesn't negate the certitude that it once felt and will still feel. the second he read that quote he hated it for its truth.
now that he thinks about it, perhaps he's been too self-indulgent, too selfish in the entire ordeal of this; and now he alone carries the guilt of two heavy hearts bared to destinies cruel wits. mien relaxes, shock making way for a raw sort of sadness that he should not be able to convey. he is breaking his system; or rather, loni is. but it is not the kind of breaking that will cause him to short circuit, rather it is a sort of brokenness that will allow him a little more freedom in his humanity, maybe. if he is lucky. and if he isn't ... well, it was nice for a few seconds he'd say. he looks at loni, looks at the furrowed brows, the serious expression on her face; the faintest twitch of her mouth that betrays that she wants to grab him by the collar and shake him for not saying anything else and letting her words dangle in the air - for allowing himself to get hurt, badly, without giving her a chance to say these words to him.
she's yelled at him for that before, right when he woke up. he assumes it's because she knows that unlike normal people he does not need time to readjust after waking up when his wounds have been tended to, simply because his body cannot feel the exhaustion and fatigue humans or humanoid-aligning creatures can. he lets out a dry, low huff at that, gives a bitter smile at the ground. he's feared that, for a while. he'd hoped that loni would be like him; a coward in their own right. but she isn't, never has been and he regrets underestimating her like that. she shouldn't be so intimidating to him in this moment, she was the one with her heart on her sleeve, she was the one baring it to him not the other way around. and yet, he falls backwards, lands his ass on the couch and puts his head in his hands, body racking as if he's sobbing violently. and maybe, just maybe, if his body could it would be doing just that. but it can't.
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❛  don't do that. don't love me. don't give me your heart for me to waste it. ❜
his voice is breaking, cracking at the edges to reveal the sharp vulnerability that has cut him all these years. reveals the rawness that he's hid behind the lie of being incapable of processing such deep emotions. if he wasn't himself maybe he'd be happy. ecstatic even. he remembers a time where he would have jumped in joy to find out his emotions were reciprocated. but those times were over, at least in the outwardly joyousness. that person died when he thought of trying to help make the world safer against people like him. when he thought the one good deed he could do was destroy the very group that wanted to send him after the she-wolf.
he doesn't need to look up to know she probably feels just as helpless as him. it had to be said, had to be outed. if he stops denying it then he knows that much, but he would've hoped it never had to happen. emotions as soft as this deserved tenderness, to be treated like the fragile things they were; not to be thrown into two lives full of darkness and violence. he shakes his head, again, again and again before he gives up. looks up at loni with utter defeat in his eyes. his voice is hoarse, the faint traces of static buried underneath the pure agony in his voice. no, he's destroyed himself with this love. he refuses to pull her into the self - inflicted destruction too.
❛  don't love me. it will kill you the way it killed me to love you. ❜
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biby-24k · 2 years ago
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As you may have noticed I'm back to Black Butler's fandom, but i don't know if I should keep posting my drawings here or in a new side blog 🥺 I've always posted them here but I am such a fandom mess i don't wanna get main fandoms confused.
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jrueships · 1 year ago
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pg really had THE wag jarebear on his show and proceeded to dish out all his personal onions on his teammates i 😭😭
#it's like watching someone try to therapize harley quinn off her love of the joker#pg does like. zero research 😭 im so#he just relies on his experience to help connect the interviews all interestin-like#but other than that u think hes gonna look into the PAST??? when it's not INTERESTING?? or CONNECTIONS??? no!!#that takes away from playstation 5 p!!!#if the podcast had a normal interviewer... i dont think 1 a lot of players would wanna come cus no duh no selling point#but 2. those that did would be bored#i mean normal interviewer as in like if pg didnt have the status and was just some dude who liked basketball sorry too late to edit#like he really banks on the fact that Hes Pg with alot of these questions/talking points 😭#that jalen green interview...#NOW I COULD BE ACTIN A LIL RUDE. my attention span isnt great so long videos arent my forte#i have SEEN seen em n certainly not ALL of the podcasts#i dont like listening to podcasts in general they scare me but#i watch a few while working out but thats sometimes bcs mainly i like music#BUT FROM WHAT IVE SEEN..#theres been some frequent disconnects that couldve been avoided with just a Little more depth#a Little more diving#good thing paul always has another podcast friend to help 😭 but pg LOOVES asking questions so#sometimes he just be chitchattin 😭#jarens eyes getting all wide when pg brought up d*llon LMAO#im ngl it's kinda entertaining LMAO only bcs it's for the better jarebear!! if pg thinks hes in the right (which he always does)#he WILL speak his perceived truth! they either hit hard or miss harder (..coughdameconflictcough) HE WILL NOT BUDGE!!#and he is actually correct with this one! someone had to say it jaren!! just sorry it had to be pg 😭#but if he pulled that with anyone else and their friend i would be a lot more uncomfortable lol idk#i love the concept of being messy but i could never commit like. i got other shit to do 😭 yall have fun
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corals-corner · 2 years ago
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Draw King (VERY WHOLESOMELY) playing with Lancer w/ like. Blocks or smth (VERY WHOLESOMELY) please and thankies <3
Playtime :)
Your only getting a very small panal of wholesomeness.
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You can see the panel where I just gave up. Also, Angst :).
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