#but 2. those that did would be bored
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pg really had THE wag jarebear on his show and proceeded to dish out all his personal onions on his teammates i đđ
#it's like watching someone try to therapize harley quinn off her love of the joker#pg does like. zero research đ im so#he just relies on his experience to help connect the interviews all interestin-like#but other than that u think hes gonna look into the PAST??? when it's not INTERESTING?? or CONNECTIONS??? no!!#that takes away from playstation 5 p!!!#if the podcast had a normal interviewer... i dont think 1 a lot of players would wanna come cus no duh no selling point#but 2. those that did would be bored#i mean normal interviewer as in like if pg didnt have the status and was just some dude who liked basketball sorry too late to edit#like he really banks on the fact that Hes Pg with alot of these questions/talking points đ#that jalen green interview...#NOW I COULD BE ACTIN A LIL RUDE. my attention span isnt great so long videos arent my forte#i have SEEN seen em n certainly not ALL of the podcasts#i dont like listening to podcasts in general they scare me but#i watch a few while working out but thats sometimes bcs mainly i like music#BUT FROM WHAT IVE SEEN..#theres been some frequent disconnects that couldve been avoided with just a Little more depth#a Little more diving#good thing paul always has another podcast friend to help đ but pg LOOVES asking questions so#sometimes he just be chitchattin đ#jarens eyes getting all wide when pg brought up d*llon LMAO#im ngl it's kinda entertaining LMAO only bcs it's for the better jarebear!! if pg thinks hes in the right (which he always does)#he WILL speak his perceived truth! they either hit hard or miss harder (..coughdameconflictcough) HE WILL NOT BUDGE!!#and he is actually correct with this one! someone had to say it jaren!! just sorry it had to be pg đ#but if he pulled that with anyone else and their friend i would be a lot more uncomfortable lol idk#i love the concept of being messy but i could never commit like. i got other shit to do đ yall have fun
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if aradia's death was just in-character for a long roleplay, what's the deal with tavros and terezi's disabilities? did vriska have anything to do with them?
She Did Do Those Things. vriska no!!!!!!
#im insane that vriska is a roleplayer#its so funny to me i love roleplaying jokes#for those not in the know: 'i was just acting in character' is a common phrase used by people Behaving Badly#vriskas like OOOOOOHHH you want me to break the carefully crafted and lovingly acted personality of marquise spinneret mindfang? you monste#listen!!! im playing as my spidersona!!!!! its what she would do shes a spider you want me to not act like a spider???#vriska. you threw the boy off a cliff screaming and cackling to yourself FLY PUPA FLY#thats not '''''''in character''''' marquise spinneret wouldnt have fucking done that you bitch!!! you just got bored and started#causing problems!!!!#her glasses details had to be shifted around because vriska saying to terezi 'its harder for me. i lost 7 eyes you only lost 2' is so fucki#oh my god vriska no. NO. VRISKA#but yeah she did still do those things. i wasnt sure how to handle this but i decided to go this way. a vriska is a vriska#vriska#homestuck#bugstuck#vriska serket#One time I got a death threat in the middle of an in-person roleplaying game. That underclassman just looked at me with hatred in their eye#a panic attack#then later after THAT they began openly weeping.
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i just spent my morning learning the 9-1-1 magnet theory lore and now i canât see straight
#to the four people who basically invented this whole thing i have 2 things to say#thank you#are you doing okay?#i feel spn levels of insane at the moment#i want it to be real but i also think it would be really funny if it was just like a prop guy#moving the magnets around for fun when he was bored#but at least some of it HAS to have an explanation like where are the magnet men#why those quotes and where did gob bluth go#and the calendars??? pls. america explain#i now know the true meaning of brainrot#girl i thought the couch theory was a lot?? nohr#also this was not meant to be a straight/gay joke but i donât feel like rewording it so there#the fridge magnet theory#911 magnet theory#buddie#diaz family#buckley diaz family#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#evan buckley#911 show#911 abc#911 fox#em saying things
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are there any precrisis comics where lana lang has an actual personality other than "pining after clark forever" (and im not rly interested in rebirth just giving her sharon vance's powers đ) because for the love of god i am so tired of triangle era lana. man
#rimi talks#i was hoping maybe early triangle era would make me care about her bc we'd see the beginnings of the lanapete romance at least#instead. she's STILL hung up on clark even while agreeing to marry pete. oh my god#and like man i DO love the lana & kara stuff in supergirl v5 but its not really like that fleshes lana herself out very much#like at LEAST she's not just pining over clark the entire time#but the only real trait she gets is that she tries to protect kara (a la the insect queen stuff)#and im just so . girl im trying SO hard to give a singular shit about you and i just cannot#im sorry i know its not your fault youve been assigned the role of Girl⢠so hard that even as an adult its all you have#but oh my goddddd#like she's just so bland she has nothingggg we dont even know WHY she and clark liked each other as high school sweethearts#like with clois you can see the mutual respest build up and the way they inspire each other#with like clark and lori lemaris you can see how they bonded over feeling alone and different together#with lana its just... ???? well he was a boy and she was a girl in a small town. can i make it any more obvious#several times he's been like ''she's like a sister to me'' ok but WHY.#and the way she held a grudge about him being mind controlled and ignoring her bday to the point of not really wanting to invite him--#--to her and pete's wedding. its ridiculous like shes written like a high schooler. why the FuCK did she still have a photo of clark in DC#im sorry lana. i know this is a product of misogyny in writing. but you are so fucking boring. my god#you know those posts like ''when you dislike a female character its like. im sorry i know its not your fault'' or w/e#thats how i feel about lana. and also one other female character i cant name or ill be killed in the streets#like im sorry girlie ik your writers were misogynistic assholes. unforch...#I MISS SHARON................................ sharon vance come back 2 me :(#dc: we have sharon at home.#the sharon at home: lana lang in a red superwoman outfit :/
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["So what can you expect in the coming months?"] ["âŚyou never know!"] ["Heâs always watching me..."] ["-I saw Mister Drew the other dayâŚwas meeting with that Connor fellow, holding some papers."] ["I think they saw me looking thoughâŚ"] ["Just too many secrets being cooked up in the kitchen!"] ["If I didnât know better, Iâd say there was magic there."] ["A well calculated understanding between creation-"] ["-big things are coming!"] ["-and creator."] ["Massive things!"] ["That smileâŚ"] ["..you just learn to go with it."] ["Heâs always watching me..."] ["You just watchâŚ"] ["Iâve got a good feeling something great is going to happenâŚâ]
...
âŚHow very interesting,such⌠knowledge.
{A message from Wilson Arch}
-----
Yoooo, guess who is having a birthday today. Me,obviously. :D
Oh, and Wilson too, I guess. If you wanna be THAT guy.
Remember when this video came out there were people who heard the voice at the end and thought the voice was either Sammy or the Ink Demon? Man, those were the days. However with all due respect, I'm glad neither case was right in the end lol.
On this day 5 years ago, "Unknown - April 14th" was posted on YouTube, which means it's been 5 damn years since we first heard from Wilson...
man, what a damn BABY MAN, am i right folks
It's interesting to think that even though it's been 5 years, we've only known who Wilson really is for 2 years now (or more appropriately, 1 year and 5 months of those 5 years). Of course, now, after BATDR was released, we know who he is and what his place is in the Bendy universe. But between April 1, 2019 and November 1, 2022, all we knew about him was that heâŚexisted. He was someone - someone bad apparently - who sounded old and who would have some relevance in the plot of Dark Revival. And that's it. We had no name, no appearance, nothing. He was someone, but we didn't know who.
It's no wonder he was only referred to as "Unknown" by fans during these 3 and a half years.
In the end, I would say that this drawing is a mix of 2 things. The first being the result of an idea I've had for a while, which is basically making a drawing in relation to the original video/"unknown" tape, but this time with Wilson, since now we know it was recorded by him. Plus it's been 5 years since the original upload,5 years of Wilson. I think this would be the perfect time to do this.
And second, a strange kind of redux/homage/"final chapter" in this kind of "collection" of drawings I did between 2019 and 2022 all based on the idea of "the unknown weirdo from BATDR saying How Very Interesting Such Knowledge" and so on. All of them having other characters in mind in the role of the Unknown. And now, here I am, redoing this idea again, only with The Man Himself this time. The real Unknown. Now as the Known, so to speak.
Going back to what I said before, you can see this drawing as a kind of farewell to this particular idea that I've kind of repeated over the years, as I've now done it again only with Wilson this time. (Does this mean I'll never draw this concept/line of thought again? I mean, I assume so. But there's no guarantee I can't make something similar again down the line. Who knows what the future holds. We will see what happens in the next 5 years.)
But,yeah. 5 years of Such Knowledgeâ˘.
Have a good April Fools' Day.
(Also, there are still a few hours until the day ends where I live, so for me it's still April 1st, so yeah, this still counts)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#wilson arch#crookedsmileart#I'm going to start headcanon that Wilson's birthday is on April Fools. It fits him đ#yo perspective SUCKS; who created this;i'm gonna beat them until there's no more.#also;lighting is so. hard;how do you all do it#Does anyone have tips for lighting; it would be a huge help /gen#also also;drawing the audio logs was a BATTLE. It was sooo boring; why do I do this to myself#so many details and I had to do it in 7 of them; and it's because these are the DR models;which have more details;#if I had to make them based on IM models I would probably make them simpler. But I wanted to be accurate :-)))#since we are on this subject (and I'm 99% sure of this)#Did you know that the textures in the audio log models used in the final game#are different to those used in the videos published between Feb and April 2019? and a little less detailed?#I realized this when I was looking for references for the drawing#the audio logs in those videos and the audio logs in the final game are not the same thing (at least in terms of texture)#Next time you play BATDR; think about this lol /hj#in retrospect; I don't think those audio logs published at the time would really be relevant to the game's plot#and I think that in the end their purpose was (besides worldbuilding i guess) just to tease the existence of Wilson#I still think that Joey's audio was supposed to be more of a meta thing since the real JDS was actually growing during that time#in my head; that at least makes sense (referring to the last 2 tags)#anyway;happy birthday Wilson;you old bitch#ok i finally post this;now back to the HOG
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I have to pick my magic band for Disney and unfortunately little customizable things like this are my favorite things ever so this is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life
#i could get a plain color one so it matches all my outfits#but thats boring#theres one white/grey mickey pattern and one black/white mickeys with full color mickey on the back#and those are not plain but less clashy#also a silver sparkly one#or a red scarlet witch one#theres a tinkerbell one thats not matchy but wouldn't clash with my outfits#and an alice in wonderland one that i think has a bit of all the colors im wearing#and 2 different winnie the pooh ones#one of them is yellow/blue/green and i think of all of them would match all my outfits the best#the other one is yellow and red and is maybe my favorite design#but it would match my pooh outfit perfectly and then not go well with the other ones#why don't they just have one for any of MY characters đ#the closest is pooh but im already doing a pooh outfit and matbe i should try to get as many movies in as possible lol#i have one week to be a temporary disney adult i want to go as hard as possible đ#ultimately it obviously Does Not Matter. but thank you for reading my stupid thoughts. if you did#if you did not. how does it feel to live my dream of not existing inside my brain. đ
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when you get in a crazy screaming match with some rabid misogynistic freak who was harassing women on the subway and who responds by insulting your physical appearance and telling you to kill yourself but then exits the train at the next station
#btw to any young person following getting in screaming match with unstable people on the subway is not like...a great plan tbh#i'm not a goog example tbh and i never claimed to be one so yeah#but yeah dude was screaming obscenities at everyone but nobody in particular at the same time (if that makes sense) and i was like whatever#but then we got on the train itself and my man decided to start shouting all sort of racist and misogynistic insults to 2 elderly asian wom#and i was just like...yeah no we're not doing that today#i did tried to keep things civil for a minute by first asking the ladies themselves if they were ok (they were)#and by being all like come on dude you need to stop#then he started insulting me and i was like i mean if that's what you want that's all good by me#after like 30 seconds he was all out of insults and just telling me to kill myself again and again that was a really boring shouting match#i did informed him that not only i wasn't gonna kill myself but i was going to outlive him and go piss on his grave#shame that i don't have his name because that's the kind of thing i would actually do tbh#anyway the 'i won' part is mostly me joking#this dude clearly just took the next subway and kept insulting people#but oh well at least he had to leave those two ladies alone and that's what i was really trying to accomplish so i did won lol
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im not excited for pokemon z because i have zero faith in gamefreak, as we all should at this point, but i do hope it is good. i do hope itâs another chance for kalos to really wow people. i remember getting Y back when it came out, and it was. Fine. the most Fine pokemon game iâve ever played, then and now. it had the unfortunate fate of being a follow up to black/white 2 (some of the best pokemon games ever made) and being the mainline transition to 3D (something theyâre still struggling with tbh.) they suffer a lot from those growing pains, a lot of x/y feels underdeveloped or bland. but i really hope this game gives the region new life because all the pieces were there.
#pokemon company bring back the 2d games im no longer asking#the 3d games are ugly!!! can we all admit this!!! they look like dogshit!!! they run like dogshit!!! it isnt worth it to have them in 3D!!!#god at least go to 2.5D or something. the team clearly isnt big enough or skilled in making 3D games!!! esp under the time crunch they#usually get stuck in!!!#(which is not a knock against the people who actually have to make these games. these are very difficult products to develop.)#like. not to be nostalgic or anything. actually no fuck that i will be. because im nostalgic For 3D games too. i played pokepark. its a#gorgeous game for the wii. it really is. its also much smaller in scope.#but anyway. i miss the spritework. for the trainers for the locations for the pokemon. the visuals really did peak with black/white + 2.#those are some damn gorgeous games. they really are. and while pokemon *has* had some pretty moments since. theyâre vastly outnumbered by#the game looking. boring at best. or bad at worst.#sorry im up on my soapbox. we deserve better pokemon games. most companies would be embarrassed to have that shit outline effect in the#caves that arceus had to be in their betas. pokemon put it in the final release of the game.
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Lil Satanists⌠surrender or be put to the sword
#lol @ the fact this took u lil wackodoodles almost 300 million years & itâs all being undone in a matter of seconds đđ#itâs just like I said it would happen u dumbass cunts you spent so much painstaking effort to build this elaborate house of cards just for#it to be completely blown the fuck over w a single Divine Fart đđ#yeah u all said oh weâll see abt that!! đĄ & yes the fuck u did c abt thatđđ everything I say become true#always! no if and or buts! ik the mortals donât wanna hear this but I wish this war could keep going on itâs been so fuckinâ lackluster &#boring my head off! tormenting u lil fuckers isnât so fun anymore since ur all so terrrifed of me no one is willing 2 attract my gaze :(#awh pooie! no fun for me! I love it when u lil goat fuckers try n stick it to me đđ no one is willing to throw anything in my general#direction let alone directly at me! now thatâs truly offensive!!!!! Iâm calling the PC police!!!!!! đđ Iâm on the phone RIGHT now w them!#no but srsly lil Satanists ur only options r 2 surrender or die screaming :) now which will it besie poo???#this war has been so 𼹠which greatly irritates me so uâll all b punished! punished! 4 such a dull war campaign that lasted 300 million#years which was a total fucking snoozefest (hehe I genocided a lot of u each night in my sleep!!!!) but anyway how this war concludes 4 u#lil Satanists is up 2 u if u live or die. srsly u have free will still cause free will isnât a concept in Hell those on the torture racks#canât choose with their own free will theyâve had enough theyâve learned their lesson & will use their free will to get off the rack &#walk out of Hell thatâs not how it works bookies so use while u still can!#it makes zero difference to use Divine Beings which route u choose just know lil Satanists those 2 truly r ur only options all loopholes#have been long cinched off so take ur pick of the two đ¤ˇââď¸
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Iâve lucid dreamed before and I honestly canât imagine how they could manage to make this work, even if they wanted to make it happen.
I rant in the tags but pls know Iâm just exploring this inane idea for fun, 100% if this device exists itâs just a scam for money lmao.
Man, this is some science fiction capitalism dystopian bullshit.
#firstly⌠REM (in a textbook example of a healthy young adult) happens around every 90 minutes#the first period is relatively short and each REM thereafter becomes progressively longer#essentially yâall can especially ~2 collective/disjointed hours of REM to work with#also#lucid dreaming isnât easy (for most)#it requires a few things#1 is healthy sleep (unfortunately I see lots of sleep apnea patients with minimal REM sleep)#next is a healthy sleep schedule which most people donât have BECAUSE of their work lmao#those ~2 hours REM is based on a full uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep nightly and a lot of people donât get that so yâall can realistically#expect for it to be LESS than ~2 hours#so like what are they gunning for? another (disjointed) 1-2 hours of work where you operate like youâre on as least ONE alcoholic beverage#and cannot operate anything IRL??#ALSO another thing required for lucid dreaming - practice!!#and yâall I STOPPED PRACTICING BECAUSE OF WORK#you need FREE TIME to practice this! (arguably you can practice while working but if I canât be bothered to do it I canât imagine most would#)#itâs not a guaranteed thing either#you MAY become lucid within any REM period but itâs sort of a crap shoot#so Iâm addition you can take what I said about 1-2 hours of extra work and minimize it to almost nothing#ALSO even if this BS machine could make you lucid in 100% of REM periods#thereâs no way to record dreams so you can wake up and say âah sorry lads it didnât work this timeâ like HOW WOULD THEY KNOW??#Iâm ranting like this is a real thing and I hope people know I donât genuinely believe that these guys think they can do this#but Iâm bored rn and went off#(I remember a study Iâve read forever ago and genuinely these machines donât work how theyâre advertised)#(the study was about a machine that flashed a rhythmic light into the persons eyes as a way to remind them to âreality checkâ or to check to#see if theyâre dreaming. it showed some improvement with those who PRACTICED and minimal improvement for those who did not if I remember#correctly)#whatâs really frustrating is that lucid dreaming CAN help with creativity! I wished we focused more on the creative fun or philosophical#aspects that lucid dreaming can provideâŚ
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time đ¤Şâď¸#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace âď¸
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Unhoneymooners!? - G.S.
Synopsis. The universe was surely playing a joke on you. Here you were, trapped on a luxury getaway with your - dangerously handsome, extremely obnoxious - ex. Either you were going to kill each other or end up pinned beneath him, split apart on his cĂłck. You just didnât know what would come first.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, exes to lovers, unprotected, argument as foreplay, slight enemies to lovers, more like annoyances actually, cunnilingus, oral (male + female), spitting, creampiÊ, one bed trope, rough, Satoru is still EXTREMELY down bad for you, and unfairly hot, forced proximity, cúmplay, pet names (sweetheart), swearing.
Word count. 8.5k
A/N. Itâs impossible to not write Satoru without bullying him at least a little bit.
You broke up with Gojo Satoru exactly 5 months, 2 weeks, and 16 hours ago - not that you were keeping count, of course.
So why was he outside of your resort room blasting âKill Billâ by SZA like heâs auditioning for the worldâs most dramatic comeback tour? On what shouldâve marked your fourth anniversary, no less.
Well, given you were the one to lock him out, but still - the stubborn bastard could at least have some decorum.Â
With an exasperated sigh, you throw yourself onto the king-sized bed of your honeymoon suite, trying to will away that annoying, grating voice - not SZA, no, more so Satoru singing along at the top of his lungs to the chorus.Â
How did you even get here? And with Satoru of all people - your Satoru. Or at least he was this time a little over a year ago.Â
You first met Satoru when you were in university, back when he wore those pretentious circled sunglasses and waltzed around those halls like he owned the place. And after a single literature assignment together, he wasnât just your (self-proclaimed) best friend; he was the reluctantly favorite thorn in your side.Â
Like the rest of him, Satoruâs introduction into your love-life was anything but subtle. It wasnât like he strolled in, gave a polite nod, and blended into the background. Oh no, he bulldozed his way in and dragged you to dance with him on the tables of some dingy frat party in what you could only assume was some joke from the universe at your expense.
And damn him, you think bitterly, you couldn't resist him that night. Spinning you into a dramatic dip, silver chain brushing your face as his half-lidded eyes bored into yours. You couldnât not kiss him after the way his hands were just searing into your skin.Â
God, youâve never been able to listen to âGasolinaâ the same way ever since. Â
Satoru was in love as he was in the rest of life - a force of nature, and it was too easy to find yourself caught up in him.
That night at the frat party was just the beginning. From then on was a rollercoaster of everything from heated debates over the best flavor of ramen to impromptu road trips where youâd end up under a carpet of stars. Wrapped in each otherâs arms and sharing whispered secrets for an unpromised future - oftentimes where Satoru would crack a joke or two about running away to Tokyo with him. To which youâd laugh it off with a âYeah yeah, Iâd leave everything Iâve known behind in a heartbeat for your dumbass, Toru.â
You just didnât think that it would be the downfall to your relationship. All the empty promises.Â
Because as those heavenly days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, eventually two years had gone by. The whirlwind romance settled into a comfortable rhythm, but with it came the looming promise of graduation and Satoru moving to work under his family company in Tokyo.
Under pressure, it wasnât long before the cracks began to show, the arguments more frequent, and the silences more deafening. And as your relationship slowly turned into nothing more than a husk of what it used to be - so did the both of you.
Long story short, graduation was a bittersweet goodbye - and you think both of you knew long before it was actually over. Neither of you attended the afterparty - with Satoru on a flight straight to Tokyo and you at home to stuff your face with chocolate. Hey, at least you could blame your tears on finally leaving university, right?Â
You had meticulously erased his name from your phone, your social media, and even your dreams - well, almost, the bastard still came around to bother you occasionally. It was messy, painful, and final.
But âfinalâ really didnât explain your current predicament. Because if thereâs one thing youâve learned about Satoru is that heâs always there - whether you liked it or not. He was there when you needed a partner for that literature assignment, and he was there to turn your world upside down at that dingy frat party.
Hell, he was even there to help you stubbornly chug mountains of ice cream and win that raffle for this five day-long getaway trip to the Maldives. Though, you think he mightâve chugged the ice cream without the promise of a vacation anyway.
But, when ultimately those shiny tickets came in the mail - Satoru wasnât there. Oh well, it mightâve been a coupleâs trip - but you could have a hot girl summer, right? Maybe you could even snag a hottie by the end. Youâd almost forgotten that heâd be getting his copy of the tickets as well.
Yet, unfortunately - as the beginning notes of P!nkâs âSo Whatâ bursts through the heavy wooden door - you were inevitably reminded of the fact that he was here. Right now. Goading you into coming outside.
You find yourself groaning inwardly (and outwardly) because of course, why wouldnât he come back even more obnoxious than before? You havenât seen him in ages, yet here he is, crashing back into your life with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Or - you furrow your brows at his purposefully off-key singing carrying over the sounds of the waves outside - with the subtlety of a manchild with a JBL and a premium account on Spotify. Â
Rubbing your temples in frustration, you contemplate how much longer of this it would take before youâre both kicked out of this resort. And after you ate so many ice creams to win this getaway trip? No chance.
With a resigned sigh, you rise from the bed, smoothing out the bathing suit youâd just put on before the devil incarnate showed up knocking at your door. Something hot and prickly pools in your stomach as you approach it, and you canât help but roll your eyes at the sheer absurdity of the situation. So like Satoru.
Taking a deep breath to steel yourself, you shakily reach for the handle. Itâs fine. Itâs not a big deal actually.
âŚ
Whatâs the worst that can happen?
Slam!Â
The door swings open, and there in all his smug glory stands a very shirtless Satoru. Gojo pain-in-your-ass Satoru, the same asshole youâve blocked on even Gmail.Â
Except, youâre momentarily struck by how high you have to raise your eyes to meet his. Are growth spurts even a thing anymore? You didnât have a chance to take a good look last time before slamming the door shut at the first flash of white hair and a smug grin.
But right now, traitorously, your gaze catches on just how broad his shoulders look andâŚsince when was he so chiseled? Damn you, Tokyo - you were doing him too good.
His hair is slightly longer too, curtaining those slightly more mature features, stopping just above that ever-immature grin. One which moves as he hums, âWell, happy fourth anniversary to me, If I knew this came with the suite then Iâd have swam here myself.â
You scoff, suddenly feeling strangely self-conscious as he wiggles his brows, striking blue eyes sweeping your figure from head to toe. âIâd prefer if you swam back. What are you doing?âÂ
âWhy, just showing up to our room on our lilâ honeymoon, sweetheart.â Satoru sing-songs, leaning against the doorframe to fully prevent you from slamming the door in his (admittedly) pretty face again. âAnd before you try to break my nose with that door again, I won that ticket here fair and square, yâknow. I ate just as much ice cream as you did for it.â
âYou ate most of those before you knew about the getaway raffle.â you sigh over his nonchalant shrug, pinching your nose, âAnd stop calling it our honeymoon, I dumped you five months ago.â
âWell arenât you just the gift that keeps on giving. Keeping count?â
âNo. Donât be a pest.â
âAlways thought you had a thing for pests. After all, you did date me.â As Satoru grins impossibly wider, you couldnât help but roll your eyes. He winks, âAnd if Iâm a pest then youâre an itch that just wonât go away.â
âAt least Iâm not the itch that shows up uninvited to someoneâs honeymoon suite.â you hiss. And with that you start shutting the door ever-so-slowly, delighting in the panic that overtakes Satoruâs features as he reaches out frantically.
âHey!â he sputters, âI didnât know youâd be here! And besides this âpestâ forgot his slippers all the way in Tokyo and canât stand on flaming-hot boardwalks for too long so let me in.â
And sure enough, you glance down to see that Satoru isnât wearing any slippers on the scorching boardwalk. The realization almost brings a smirk to your lips. This idiot.Â
âWow.â
ââWowâ at my feet or-â
âI should leave you here to rot just for your pure idiocy.â you deadpan, eyes locked on the way heâs burning his soles off yet still has the audacity to flash you a cocky smile.
âBut you wonât.â he hums.
A beat passes. One. Two. And Satoruâs grin almost falters, before you finally relent - opening the door just a crack, cursing his entire bloodline under your breath. âYouâre incorrigibleâ you mutter as he saunters inside victoriously, dragging his hefty luggage behind.
âWhy change perfection, sweetheart~â he calls out, heading straight for the bedroom, only to let out a delighted âOooOOoâ at the sight of the king-sized bed in the middle. The only bed. âHow scandalous, maybe youâll even fall in lov-âÂ
âDonât. Iâd rather gouge my eyes out with a seashell.â you warn, holding up both keycards threateningly, âI get the bed, you take the couch.â
âBut-â
âAnd Iâve got the keys, so slippers or not youâll be back out on that boardwalk.âÂ
A slight smile tugging at the corners of your lips at the way Satoru looked so dramatically crestfallen, you continue - just to be petty, âAnd no more âKill Billâ thatâs on my angry ex playlist.â
With a heavy sigh he sulkily makes his way to the bathroom, calling out as he does, âFine. But Iâm showering first.â
As he disappears from sight you throw yourself onto your bed, basking in what little peace and quiet youâll have because of your unwanted guest. This was going to be a-
âAnd Iâm using all of your body lotions.â
â...â
âI will use one of your body lotions.â
Groaning, you sink into the plush mattress, just wishing it would swallow you whole and spare you from this torment. And this was only Day 1? This was going to be a very long five days.Â
---
The first night with Satoru, honestly, wasnât too bad.Â
You donât know what you expected exactly - maybe for him to pour hair dye in your shampoo or something. But he actually stuck to his word, slept on the couch after only a bit of taunting, and used only one of your body lotions. Your best-smelling, most expensive one, but one nonetheless.
Feeling slightly more optimistic, you spent most of the second day at the beach, meanwhile he stuck to lounging by the pool. Add in a bit of pretending you didnât know him by the salad bar at dinner and that made for an almost-perfect hot girl summer.Â
Well, considering that you were rooming with your insufferable longtime ex - in a honeymoon suite of all places.Â
The only catch came that night, fully content at the burning soreness from being pushed around by the waves outside. You got ready to splay out on your bed, humming along to the tunes of your playlist andâŚSatoruâs lamenting?
âI swear my back feels like itâs been run over by a truck. Five of them, and a zoo.â he complains from behind you, dramatically draping himself over the couch - his impromptu bed.Â
âGood.â
âWhat if that was my last straw?â
âEven better.â
His exaggerated, disappointed whine is both embarrassing and almost-endearing as you roll your eyes, resisting the urge to suffocate him with a pillow. âMaybe call your chiropractor guy.â
Satoru shot you a pointed look, his expression a mixture of faux innocence and irritation, which you knew too well. âI wish but heâs trekking through the Himalayas. Câmon~ Donât you think that lovely king-sized bed is too big for just one?â
âNo, but the boardwalk sure is. Maybe you should try it out.â you monotone, getting ready to end this conversation once and for all.Â
But when has Satoru ever let you off easy? He sits up abruptly, a devious smile curling his lips. âOhh, I get it.â he taunts, batting his long lashes mockingly, âYouâre scared to sleep in the same bed with me.â
Huh?
âOut of all the idiotic-â you cut yourself off by whirling around to face his smug grin, âWhy would I be scared to sleep in a bed with you. Iâve done that far too many times already.â
âExactly,â he chuckles. âAnd all those times you could barely last an hour before without keeping your hands off of me. Scared youâll end up pinned underneath me and stuffed full like old times, sweetheart?â
You narrow your eyes at him despite the heat burning your face. âThe only thing Iâm scared of is your icicle feet on my side.â
He laughs, a sound thatâs equal parts irritating and endearing, and stands up from where he was slumped on the couch. Making his way slowly, but surely towards you, âOh, câmon. For old timesâ sake, admit it, you miss me.â
"Yeah, missed the peace and quiet I donât have because of your big mouth,â you scoff. Finding it hard to meet his twinkling gaze as he comes close enough that youâre toe to toe with him. Your cheeks burn at the proximity - hot enough to match the heat radiating off his body.Â
Satoru shakes his head, undeterred by your threats. And suddenly you get the overwhelming urge to throw him out the window and straight into the ocean. âYou can deny it all you want, but you still have feelings for me.â
Your jaw clenches at his audacity. âYou wish. Iâd never.â
âThen prove it.â
Damn, he was good.
Which is probably how you found yourself lying in the same bed as Satoru, with a wall of all the pillows in the room erected between you two - and a few extra from room service just in case.Â
âSweetheart, this is a king-sized bed. Is the fortress really necessary?â
You wrap your blankets tighter around yourself, trying to ignore the figure radiating warm right next to you. Muttering out a muffled little, âYeah, so you can keep your mitts off of me.â
Satoru groans dramatically, bed creaking as he shuffles what you can only assume to be closer to you. âYou keep your mitts off of me, you lecher.â he quips, voice dripping with sarcasm as he inches closer.
You stiffen at his proximity, feeling his warmth seep through the layers of blankets and pillows as he chuckles softly, the sound sending shivers down your spine, âOh, come on, donât be like that. We used to share a bed all the time.â
âThat was before,â you interject. God, you didnât like where this conversation was going.Â
âBefore what?â Satoru presses, his voice low and insistent.Â
Now, you mightâve let yourself be goaded into sharing a bed but these were old wounds better off left alone. You hiss, tone firm, âBefore. Now sleepâÂ
Before when you didnât have to make a wall of pillows. Before when he would hold you tight and whisper sweet secrets into your ear. That heâd buy you the biggest ring he saw and promise you the world. Before-Â
âI missed you, yâknow.â Satoru breaks the silence barely audible over the sound of your own thoughts. The word pangs through your mind and claws at your chest. And at your silence he continues, tone a little lighter, âAnd stop hogging all the blankets, Iâm gonna freeze to-â
âBoardwalk.â
âMy apologies, maâam. Goodnight, maâam.â
And he sinks back into his pillow with a huff, you let out a sigh of relief. Something hot coiling in your stomach as you close try to catch as much sleep as you possibly could with the bane of your existence laying right beside you. The suddenly taller, dangerously handsome, still as-obnoxious-as-ever bane of your existence.Â
You just wonder if he remembered âbeforeâ.
Oh, how Satoru remembered âbeforeâ. So much so that he had sixteen different playlists dedicated to you even after the breakup.
Itâs divine punishment - it has to be. Satoru thinks thereâs no reasonable explanation for the series of unfortunate events happening to him other than punishment from his ancestors above for being such a pussy and losing the love of his life.
First he forgets his slippers, then he ends up locked out of his own honeymoon suite by said love of his life. Granted, all thoughts of his poor burnt soles went out the window the moment he caught a glimpse of you in that positively sinful bikini. God, were you glowing. A goddess upon Earth - he could really give the Gojo Satoru of five months ago a good, hard kick.
And now heâs stuck in a - very comfortable - prison with you just inches away, tossing and turning in that way he knows means that you canât sleep either.Â
Honestly, very funny universe, the great Gojo Satoru demands a refund. Way to punkâd him into confronting the feelings heâs desperately been trying to bury these past few months - ever since he got on that plane to Tokyo and contemplated faking a heart attack just to get off.Â
Realizing just then that he lost the love of his life - and the only woman whoâd tolerate his karaoke nights. But with that realization came another, more jarring one: he was too late.Â
Every touch, every laugh, and even every time you rolled your eyes was etched into his very soul, and it felt like a montage from a sappy breakup movie directed by a sadistic screenwriter who had it out for him.Â
And it really didnât help that this was the exact suite he was planning once upon a time to propose in. God, how youâd feed him to the crabs if he said anything about that - nevermind the fact that he was actually one that booked this-
But still, some traitorous, annoying part of his heart interrupts, she still hasnât made you sleep on the boardwalk yet.
Maybe - just maybe - heâll wake up to a second chance?
âŚ
Ha. As if.
âI canât sleep.â Satoru groans out loud, more so to drown out his own thoughts than anything.
âWell, I can. Goodnight.â
Ah, his girl was such a lilâ liar. Undeterred, the mattress creaks as he shuffles his weight to excitedly face you, taking a moment to admire how pretty you looked under the dim moonlight. He plows on, âHey, if you promise not to make me crab food, wanna walk along the beach and watch the stars?â
A beat of silence. One. Two. so deafening and tense that Satoru was half a second away from obnoxiously laughing it off as a joke and pulling out his Emo Times⢠playlist.Â
âOr I can go back to the couch and-â
âShut up. Letâs watch the stars, Satoru.â
But what do you know - maybe the universe hasnât given up on him just yet.Â
And, well, if he woke up the next morning breaching your fortress - your warm breath tickling his neck and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, like the lifeline he never knew he needed - then, neither of you mentioned it.
---
âHey, Satoru. You think weâll always be like this?â you hum into your boyfriendâs chest, barely a whisper as the looming fears of, well, everything ring in your mind.Â
He pulls you close, flashing a mischievous grin before planting a dramatic kiss on the top of your head. âDuh, Iâll always be around to drive you dangerously close to a stroke, sweetheart.âÂ
You roll your eyes, yet bury yourself closer to his warmth anyway.
âBesides, it doesnât matter if I have to drag you by the leg to Tokyo. Wherever you are is where I belong. â
---
Youâve come to learn that a resort island is only so big when youâre actively trying to avoid your 6â3 manchild of an ex.
Now that you were rooming with Satoru, sleeping with Satoru (in a literal sense only, of course), and just-so-happening to bump into him at the beach - somehow, talking with him is a little easier, his presence just a bit more exciting than youâd care to admit.Â
If the you of four days ago could see what had become of you, then sheâd probably slap some sense into you faster than you could say âKill Billâ. Sleeping in the same bed (still only literally), having dinner, watching the stars - with Gojo Satoru? Youâve gone completely off your rocker.Â
But could you really be blamed? These last few days have you feeling like maybe youâve been dropped into an alternate universe, where you and Satoru never broke up.Â
Yet, reality is a persistent little bastard. And with the end of your trip looming dangerously closer, the past you would be cackling mockingly in your face, flashing a large sign in big, red letters reading âI TOLD you so.âÂ
Whatever. Maybe by this time tomorrow both of you could laugh this all off as a silly little adventure and call yourself somewhat begrudging friends. Maybe youâd even end up unblocking him by the end - on Gmail, at least.
At the very least, dinnertime was a solace - both from your thoughts and the smug bastard talking your ear off about how he could âmake that spaghetti better than a thousand Italian grandmothers.â
Until the fourth - and final - night, that is. When the resort, deciding that your current torture wasnât already enough, arranged a special candlelit dinner. A romantic one. By the beach. With Satoru of all people.Â
Great. Wonderful. Perfect, in fact. Going out with a bang. Was this really part of the all-inclusive package? It was like the universe was playing some twisted joke on you - or some awful version of wingmanning.Â
You grit your teeth silently as youâre ushered to the beachside table, thoughts barely audible over the waves crashing against the shore and the soft, romantic music drifting from the band nearby.Â
The complete opposite of Satoru, who was already seated at the table and enjoying himself far too much for your liking. He lounged back in his chair, a self-satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he watched you sit opposite him uncomfortably.
You hated to admit it - but God was he dangerously beautiful in that crisp white button-up, one that you knew was from his overpriced collection for special occasions. You found yourself fighting to avoid the amber hues twinkling in his eyes as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting warm shadows that bring out his pretty features.
Pretty? So frighteningly pretty - until he speaks, that is.
âAnd here I thought our honeymoon couldnât get any worse. Youâre sweating bullets, sweetheart. This your first date with me or something?â
âWeâre not on a honeymoon, Satoru. And no, it just brings back memories.â you scoff. Relishing in the way he inches his chair closer to listen, clearly not expecting this sudden sentimentality. âMemories of why I blocked you on every social media.â
All but slamming his head down on the table, Satoru whines out, âOuch, straight for the jugular. That mouth is still as bitchy as ever, huh? Though I do prefer it choking on my-â
âIâm going to throw you into the ocean.â
âOoo, kinky~â he hums, swirling his wine glass, âBut you know what this reminds me of? That one time we had dinner under the stars.â
You froze, the memories suddenly flashing back to you despite your best efforts to suppress them. âOh yeah,â you muse. A chuckle leaving your mouth despite yourself, âWasnât that where you spilled ketchup all over your shirt and then insisted it was a fashion statement?â
He leans in closer, a mischievous glint in his eyes. âHey! It worked, didnât it? I got compliments from everyone including you.â
âI was just trying to stop you from bursting into tears.â you roll your eyes, shaking your head at the memory.Â
âExactly, sweetheart. Like moths to a flame.â
âMore like to a bug-zapper.â
Satoru throws his head back and laughs, loud and unabashed. A sound that echoes across the beach and makes something warm and sticky strum at your heartstrings. And at that moment, that stupid, little part of you didnât even mind that you were at a special candlelit dinner. A romantic one. By the beach. With Satoru of all people.Â
And he didnât even have to goad you into it with SZA this time.
As the orange glow of the setting sun melded into the cool blue of the night, it almost felt like slipping back into an old routine. The food had long since been finished. Jabs and shared memories flowing through the air like the gentle waves lapping at the shore.
The cool air was now thick with contentment and something so unknown yet so familiar that it made your heart race.Â
 âI swear.â you groan over Satoruâs loud cackles, âHe tried to charm his way out of the bill by flirting with the waitress. In front of me.â
Satoru doubles over, clutching his stomach as he laughs uproariously. âClassic move! If heâs going to be a cheapskate then he shouldâve at least been successful with it.â
Damn, was he eternally grateful for these dim candles. Otherwise youâd surely have caught the rosy flushing tinting his cheeks. How dare you sit there so gorgeous and perfect in front of him. Perfect for him - you havenât changed one bit.
âRight? She looked ready to fling us both out.â You chuckle, eyes catching on the little dimple just at the corner of his mouth as Satoru shoots you a sly grin. âMhm, I know if it were me I wouldâve charmed us out of the bill successfully.â
You raise a brow, retorting, âOh please. Iâve had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that ���charmâ. Youâd probably end up charming us into washing dishes in the kitchen.âÂ
Ah, right now, he doesnât think he wants to be anywhere but here - bickering with you.Â
âOuch, you wound me, woman!â Satoru feigns offense, placing a hand over his heart dramatically before leaning down to whisper, low and conspiratorial, âBesides, I doubt you even remember what pleasure feels like since being with me.â
A thrill goes down your spine as you realize the insinuation of his words, steady and searing - matching that of Satoruâs fingers on yours - which had snuck their way across the table, lazily tracing patterns along your skin.Â
When did they even get there? Sly bastard.
Your mouth drops into a soft oh! at the dangerous glint in his eyes. But you refuse to back down, âDonât flatter yourself, Satoru. Iâve had other guys make me cum much harder than you have.â
Touch burning. Mapping every curve and dip heâd known so well, and this time - you graze them back. A challenge. God, you missed that warm little flutter in your chest.Â
That seems to catch him by surprise, as those darkened blue eyes widen. But thereâs a dangerous edge to his grin as he purrs, voice low. âIs that so?âÂ
And with that, Satoruâs chair is scraping softly against the sand as he stands up, âCâmon, youâre gonna regret that, sweetheart.â
Oh.Â
Satoru knows that itâs been 5 months, 4 weeks, and 8 hours since you two lasted an entire dinner civilly - not that he was counting, duh.
So when he begged the resort staff into setting the two of you up on this special candlelit dinner, he was expecting you to drown him in the lobster tank halfway through or at least end the night with a slap.Â
What he certainly did not expect was to end dinner with you shoved against the closed door of your suite, legs wrapped impossibly tight around his waist, and lips trailing hot, openmouthed kisses down your neck. He angles your neck, body pressing so impossibly close to yours.
Inwardly, you curse his button-up for being so goddamn thin that you could feel his abs rub against you with every little movement. Toned chest rumbling as he groans at your hands tugging at those soft locks - just a tiny revenge, for your body lotion.Â
âS-Satoru,â you whisper, and he breathes it in with an almost-pained sigh - not wanting to part for even a second. Because fuck it took so long to get you back and he wasnât going to waste a single moment.Â
Pulling just a hairâs breadth away, âTell me what you want. Always knew weâd end up-â
âJust shut up and kiss me, you smug bastard.â
âYes, maâam.â
And, well, who was he to deny you? So he does.Â
His lips are searing on yours, hasty and greedy. With a tinge of something so painfully familiar. Your hands make their way onto his chest, feeling the thundering heartbeat against your fingertips - matching that of yours.Â
Sweet. You tasted so sweet. Just like honey, and all the dreams where he didnât leave you behind. Where he didnât get on that damned plane but instead ran to you all the way from the airport like those sappy romcoms you love.Â
He licks at the seam of your lips, drinking in your gasps as he intertwines his tongue with yours. Kissing you like heâll never be able to again. Because, God, knowing his luck - he probably wonât.Â
One hand cups your cheek so gently - a tenderness that doesnât translate to his lips as he kisses you deeper. Meanwhile the other wanders the expanse of your body, leaving a burning trail of fire in their wake.
Satoru parts with a playful nip to your bottom lip - and before you realize whatâs happening, the zipper hits the ground. Heâs ripping your pretty dress off - mumbling something about âbuying a new oneâ before large hands surge forward, groping and kneading your tits.
His mouth waters at the sight of your bra. Light blue - to match his eyes. âYou evil, evil woman.â he mutters into the soft valley of your breasts as you giggle delightedly. Oh, how he couldnât get enough of you.
And if there was ever a moment that Satoru thinks he could cream his pants right there, then this would be at the very top, followed very closely by the sight of that withering glare you shot after opening that suite door to him just a few days ago.
He unhooks your bra with one hand, throwing it blindly across the room as if it killed him to see you clothed.Â
Immediately, Satoru drops to his knees with the desperation of a madman, coming face-to face with the heavenly sight of your clothed cunt, soaking through your thin panties.Â
âDidnât specify where I had to kiss, sweetheart.â
Your gaze pierces through him, as it always did. âWhat are you-â Your words get choked up in your throat as his tongue darts out. Licking a long, languid stripe over your clothed cunt.Â
âShit. So sweet fâme, jusâ like I remember. Just one taste and I feel like mâgonna cum in my pants.â Satoru groans, urgently sliding your wet panties down your quivering legs.Â
âF-flattery wonât work.â you stammer out as his hot breath fans your quivering entrance as he waits just a second - one, two.
Drinking in the view of your pretty pussy with dazed, half-lidded eyes. Wet - so wet, he almost wants to tease you - just a bit, to see if youâll get even wetter. Ah, he doesnât have enough time to take in this view - probably never will. Would it ruin the mood if he took a picture?
âOh, Iâd say it worked pretty well.â
Cock twitching carnally, Satoru needed to taste you now. He immediately surges forward. Breathing you in so sinfully, pooling your juices on his tongue. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he tips his head back back back to let it slide down his throat.Â
Shit, if you were the forbidden fruit then he would gladly be cast out of the garden of Eden.Â
Half-delirious thoughts running through his mind, Satoru flattens his tongue across your swollen folds. Leisurely sliding between them, catching on your throbbing clit up and down up and down up and-
âOh- hngh, Satoru faster-â
âSo bossy.â he hums prettily around your swollen clit, the vibrations stimulating it just right. But of course, what his girl wants, she will get.Â
Lewd squelches and your mewls of his name ring in the heady room as he speeds up his ministrations. Rolling his tongue harshly along your clit, sucking so sensually. Licking at your sweet cunt, dipping just into your sloppy hole.Â
You almost miss the long fingers that deftly slide their way up your thigh, spreading your folds with his thumbs. A low groan sounds at the back of his throat as your walls flutter so sinfully around nothing - aching for more friction.Â
Urgently, Satoru bullies his fingers past your folds, sinking deep into your plushy walls as his tongue continues its abuse. So warm and wet around him. Curling his fingers just right.
âAh- fuck, Satoru- Feels sâgood.â you gasp as he starts thrusting his fingers back and forth. A ruthless pace that has tears stinging your eyes, hitting that spot over and over and-
âOh yeah? Thought you didnât like my âbig mouthâ?â he purrs, muffled around your clit, âLook at you, sweetheart, now falling apart cosâ of it.â
You scoff, fingers tangling in his silky hair, pushing him deeper into your dripping pussy - mostly because you needed it, but somewhat because you really needed him to shut up. âYeah, I like it better when you shut the fuck up.â
And with a dark chuckle, his mouth is back on your cunt. Your slick glossy and dripping down the corner of his mouth as he alternates between sucking unforgivingly on your ravaged clit and fucking into you at the same time as his fingers.Â
And in the delicious stretch of your cunt, you barely register the metallic clinking of a belt before Satoru presses his clothed erection into you.
Shit. You clench so obscenely around his tongue at the feeling of his clothed, painfully hard and throbbing against your leg. Fuck - as big as you remember. You werenât gonna be able to walk for a while.
âYou like this, huh?â he murmurs, speeding up the rhythm of his fingers. Vibrations sending white-hot jolts of pleasure down your spine.
Cracking an eye open you risk a glance downward. Greedily eyeing the hand wrapped tightly around the base, moving up up up. Pumping in small, jerky movements at the same pace of his fingers fucking into you. âLike the way mâgetting off to tonguefucking my girl?â
âLike thinking about how this is what I thought about all those lonely fucking night without you?â You arch into his touch, fingers searing on his scalp and angling Satoru just right to make your knees weak.Â
Heâs so close that you can feel the precum smearing onto your leg. Mouth fucking you in a way you knew he wanted to with his cock right now. Rough and unrelenting.Â
âLike thinking about how youâre all I can fucking think about.â
âHngh- Yes, Satoru! Yes-âÂ
You see stars as you cum - or maybe those were the tears in your eyes. Pulling Satoru impossibly closer to your quivering pussy so that you could ride out your high on his pretty face. And he readily accepts it - letting himself be handled roughly with the conviction of a man that wouldnât mind dying if it was suffocating in-between your pretty thighs.Â
Your vision is hazy, blood still roaring in your ears as Satoru stands up. Not even bothering to wipe away the wet trail of your slick prettily glossing his lips before capturing yours in a searing kiss.Â
âYâknow, sweetheart,â he gasps in between heated kisses. âWe got a king-sized bed so we better make use of it, hm?â
Your back hits the mattress before you can even react. Reeling from shock and the audacity as you bounce at the sheer force of his throw.Â
âNext time you do that youâre-âÂ
Whatever insult at the tip of your tongue melts away immediately at the purely pornographic sight of Satoru stalking his way towards you from the foot of the bed. Eyes hooded, cock rock-hard, kiss-bitten lips parted slightly in a way that was so fucked-out.
Unhurriedly approaching you with such a predatory glint in his darkened eyes as he fucks his fist slowly - so agonizingly slowly. Eyes locked on you.
Despite cumming not even minutes before, your pussy jumps in anticipation. Immediately reaching over as soon as heâs close enough - as if in a trance - to replace his hand with yours.Â
He was big - so mouthwateringly big. Flushed your favorite shade of pink at his leaking tip, pulsing veins glistening in the dim light - every part of Satoru was so unfairly pretty.
So hot and heavy in your hand as you pump him at a steady, methodical pace. Precum smearing on your palm, trailing down your wrist as you pump. Tighter on the base, thumbing teasingly under his slit the way you knew he used to like.Â
âOh fuck, sweetheart. Still remember, huh?â he hisses lowly. Ah, the way he still likes.Â
âMhm.â you hum absentmindedly, thighs clenching together at the way his hips grind in shallow, mindless little motions into your soft hand. Meeting your strokes as if trying to fuck something so delicious out of him.
And, well, you just couldnât resist a taste. Bending down in one, fluid motion to delicately lick at his angry, hard head. Slightly salty taste on your tongue as you swipe at the droplets of precum pooling on his tip. Tracing lightly - ever-so-lightly - down his prominent veins.Â
Satoru groans, low and hoarse with desire, âShit, hah- you donâ ngh- have to-â
âShut up, Satoru.âÂ
And with that, youâre shoving down as much as you can of his throbbing erection down your throat. Cunt clenching at the way he hardens impossibly as you choke and gag around him.
âShit, oh- Oh fuck, mâgirl. Yes yes yes-.â Satoru lets out a guttural moan. Fingers threading through your hair as he uses it as leverage to fuck himself slowly, deeper and deeper into your heavenly mouth. Hips stuttering and jerky with pleasure. Yeah, he definitely missed this.Â
Half-delirious and cock-drunk, you take him all the way till your nose was buried in the tufts of white at his toned pelvis, already so wet with saliva and precum.Â
Still got it, some smug, utterly debauched part of yourself titters.Â
It was dizzying, the way he was pulsing in your throat, his heady scent filling your senses. Beginning to move up and down up and down in hasty, desperate bobs of your head. Pulling such lewd gasps and moans from his lips.Â
You moan around Satoruâs thick cock, clawing at his toned hips for some semblance of stability. Some truly animalistic part of yourself relishing in the neat, red lines down his milky skin. The sight hazy through the tears that spring to your eyes at the way his fat tip hits your abused throat. A relentless, sinful tempo you were steadily losing your mind to.
Messy. It was so fucking messy.
You just wondered if his orgasm would be the sameâŚ
But, alas, one canât always get what they want. Because Satoru pulls you off of his achingly hard cock with a lewd pop! that rings in his ears and makes your cunt twitch.Â
âShit, sweetheart. Any longer and Iâll have to start thinking about olâ Prof. Gakuganji to not cum.â he pants through ragged breaths, flashing you a deceptively innocent grin. âNow, lay back and spread âem fâme and let me see if your pretty pussy can still handle me.â
And that you donât argue with.Â
Itâs almost embarrassing - the way you scramble desperately to sink back into the mattress. Letting Satoru manhandle your legs open so shamefully for him, throwing them over his muscled shoulders. But thatâs a problem for the future, not lust-drunk you.Â
Right now you couldnât give less of a fuck as his hungry gaze locks on your glistening pussy. Pausing for just a split-second before spitting once. Twice. Thrice onto your waiting cunt. Making you feel more and more like an object as the warm saliva mixes obscenely with your slick, trickling down to form such a sinful pool on the sheets below.Â
And you liked it.
Almost as much as you loved the way Satoru drags his tip along your swollen folds, catching so maddeningly on your clit. Teasingly pooling your slick on his leaking head. It was so sloppy. And too slow.Â
âSatoru, Iâve waited five months too long for this. If youâre going to fuck me then fuck me like you mean it.â you grit out, frustration and pure need boiling over within you.Â
âOh? So itâs like that, huh?âÂ
And maybe you were a mastermind, maybe you were an idiot - probably both. Because Satoru immediately pushes in one, long thrust into your dripping cunt. Your words catch pathetically in your throat as he loses grip on whatever semblance of restraint he had - or his sanity - whichever one would break you first.Â
Fuck, it feels so heavenly. Oh, how you missed him.
Bowing his body down down down till his damp forehead met yours. Folding you completely underneath him in the way youâve found that only the smug bastard, Gojo Satoru can.Â
You could almost sob at the stretch as he presses in - deliciously painful, borderline insane, and exactly what youâd been trying to deny that youâd been craving all these past five months. Being split apart on his throbbing cock, feeling like you were about to be absolutely devoured underneath him.Â
It seems Satoru was just as needy for you, hot and throbbing agonizingly inside you, each little bump bump bump against your walls matching that of your heart thundering against your chest.Â
Or was that Satoruâs? At this point you couldnât even tell.Â
âOh, god yes-, jusâ like that ah shit shit shit-â
âThis what you wanted, yeah?â A low growl leaves his throat at how sinfully your walls were milking him as he pulls back. All the way till his leaking tip was just innocently kissing your sloppy hole - only to ram his cock all the way back into your snug cunt. âTo be split apart on my cock?âÂ
Shit, he could just about pass out right now with the way your cunt was sucking him in so greedily like she never wanted to part.Â
Guess she missed him too, he thinks deliriously. Not even having to think about it as he starts fucking into you in shallow, mindless little thrusts. Pushing himself deeper and deeper into your plushy cunt.Â
âĂh- fuck, yeah. Sâall Iâve wanted.â you mewl, feeling so vulnerable and exposed under the hungry eyes boring into yours. A dark gleam in them as he grins, âThen take it back.â
Disoriented, you gasp out a strangled, âWhat?â before Satoruâs hips become rougher, chasing his high as much as yours.Â
âWhat you said at dinner.â your lips fall into a soft oh! as you realize just what heâs talking about, âAdmit that no man makes you cum as hard as I do.â
God, you donât think you could answer even if you wanted to, choking on the harsh, purposeful movements of his hips just to fuck your soul out.Â
Heavy balls stinging your skin, the lewd sounds of skin-on-skin fills the heady air. Driving you to insanity. An absolutely unforgiving cadence that has the bed creaking in protest. Ah, whatever, he could buy them a new one anyway if this one just so happens to break.
âTake it back yet?â He had to break you first though.
Slick gushes out of your heated cunt, dripping down his length and pooling at his heavy balls, stinging your ass at each merciless thrust. âNo.âÂ
A large hand hastily makes its way down to draw rough, frenzied little circles on your throbbing clit. Voice strangled, sweat beading on his forehead, thrusts becoming increasingly sloppier. âHow about now?â
âAh- hngh- oh fuck. Satoru!â You could only moan softly in response, broken whimpers leaving you each time his tip kissed your cervix. Angling his hips just right to expertly brush against that one spot he knew so well would have you keening and bucking up into his cock. Your face almost burns at the sheer familiarity of it all. This bastard knew you too well.Â
And something about that made such an uncomfortable, prickly feeling pool in your stomach.Â
Something which you knew would only be sated if you looped your arms around his neck. Nails digging into his sculpted back as you pulled him impossibly closer.
Kissing his flushed cheeks as he murmurs, âTake it back, sweetheart.â
Despite the thick cock splitting you in half till you probably couldnât walk tomorrow morning, you find it in yourself to huff out a soft laugh at the way Satoruâs tone teetered on just that endearing side of sulky. âFine. You win, Toru.â you whisper into his lips,
And then youâre cumming. White-hot pleasure flashing behind your eyes and Satoruâs lips gently slotting against yours as he fucked you through your high. Acting as if the fucked-out whimper of his nickname is one heâll never forget.Â
As if he couldnât cum simply from hearing it leave your pretty lips. And he does, shooting thick, hot ropes of cum painting your plushy walls white with a raw groan of your name. It oozes out of your cunt and onto the mess of sheets below as he fucks his seed into you as a lover would. As he would.Â
It was intoxicating - everything from the way you milked his cock so sinfully, to the arms tight around his shoulders. Pulling him close, running soothingly along his skin as Satoru collapses onto you with a final, fucked-out thrust.Â
And despite being a lightweight, Satoruâs never been so easily drunk off of something than he was off of you. God how he missed this - how he missed you.Â
So much so that he canât put it into words - and probably wonât ever be able to. But itâs alright, because your sticky body snug against his, and Satoru arms tenderly around your waist - but you didnât mind. Both of you understood.
Satoru traces his fingers lazily along your side, neither of you bothering to tackle the mammoth task of cleaning up for now. Each movement slow and gentle, as if any sudden movement might shatter the delicate balance between you.Â
All is quiet in your little haven, and you could almost fall asleep. The most contented one youâve had in a while - 5 months, 3 weeks, and 7 hours ago to be exact.
But, of course, Satoru canât keep his mouth shut for nothing. You jolt out of your reverie as he hastily tries to stifle the startled laugh that huffs out of him. Your dazed eyes meet his in the dim lighting, raising a brow in question.
âItâs justâŚâ he starts, voice soft, âYou still call me Toru. Feels like home.â
Ah.
You find yourself chuckling softly with him. Heat rushing to your cheeks, burying yourself deeper into his warm chest, to hide the embarrassingly flustered smile breaking out across your face if anything.Â
Chuckling, Satoru shifts closer, touch now feather-light against your cheek, tracing the line of your jaw with his fingertips. Faltering ever-so-slightly as you mutter out, âHappy anniversary, by the way. I didnât say it earlier because someone was being a public menace.â
âHey! Itâs not my fault that someone locked me out of my own honeymoon suite.â he laughs, drinking in your pretty lilâ smile.Â
Ah, you were perfect. As you always were. Satoru canât help but utter out a little, âHey, if I tell you something absolutely stupid, would you promise not to make me fish food?â
âAbsolutely not.â
He knew youâd say that. So he flashes you an easy grin, a hint of nervousness in it that heâs sure you see through - you always do.Â
âSoâŚâ he begins, âFirst thingâs first, Iâm thinking of expanding my fatherâs company further overseas and it might just so happen that Iâm leading the branch development and get to pick where exactly.â
God, you made him feel like such a teenager. At your stunned silence, Satoru could barely raise his eyes to meet yours as he plows on, stumbling so uncharacteristically over his words, âYou, I picked where you are.â
Youâre breathless, words barely audible as his sinks in. âWhat? Toru thatâs-â
âAnd donât be mad but you kinda sorta didnât-win-the-raffle-so-instead-I-planned-this-getaway-when-we-were-together.â
Any and every trace of breathless euphoria leaves your tone as you narrow your eyes at the very guilty Satoru beside you. Fidgeting under your intense scrutiny. Finally - after what seems like an eternity - you find your senses after his whiplash-inducing information dump.Â
A hand immediately shoots out to squeeze his side, right where you knew he was dangerously ticklish.
âYou sneaky little-â you scold over his laughed out yells of, âMercy! No murder on our honeymoon!â squirming helplessly beneath you.
âI canât believe you let me chug all that ice cream.â
âExactly- hah- help! You w-wouldâve been so sad that you ah- didnât win.â he manages to choke out under your attack.
Finally relenting, only once youâre sure heâll be feeling the burn of laughter until your flight tomorrow, you release him from your grasp. A satisfied smirk playing on your lips as you lean in close. âYouâre lucky I still love you, you smug bastardâ you deadpan.
âAww, you beat me to it.â Satoru whines. Yet he reaches out to cup your cheek, âAnd I love you,â words hanging in the air like a promise. âWith every fiber of my being.â
You let yourself be begrudgingly pulled into his embrace again, hands caressing along your skin like the highest form of worship. Satoru sighs out a contented, âBest honeymoon ever.âÂ
But of course, you couldnât help but bully your idiotic boyfriend. âThis is not a honeymoon, Toru.â you mutter into his heated skin.
He only presses you closer to him. Yeah maybe not, fingers deftly dancing along your left hand. But maybe next time.Â
âWanna watch the stars and tell me all about that branch development?â
âOf course, sweetheart, but first can you at least unblock me on Gmail now?â
â...â
You broke up with Gojo Satoru exactly 5 months, 3 weeks, and 12 hours ago. And as for how long itâs been since he won you back - well, you think it might just be one of the few things you didnât keep count of.
A/N. Based on my vacay at Lily Beach except I didnât meet my future husband there :0
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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Merfolk Courting Rituals | TWST
Octavinelle Dorm X Reader
Azul X Reader, Jade X Reader, Floyd X Reader,
---- Merfolk typically have instinctual ways they begin 'courting' or a relationship, in the deep sea you need to be sure of your partner after all. (Non-Human courting rituals part 2/3)
Savanaclaw Ver. | Diasomnia Ver.
Floyd:
It was spring when it happened. Almost summer. The days weâre warming up and everyone was suffering a bit for it.
Usually, you would be able to go about your business alone, or perhaps with the company of Grim if he felt like it. Today however, a certain eel was towering over your shoulder. âShrimpy~â heâd giggle, a shiver was sent down your spin at his voice.
You slowly turned around. âA-ah? Hey FloydâŚâ you smiled warily. You usually, like most people in school, avoided the eel like the plague. He flashed his sharp teeth at you and extended his hand, the other one in his pocket in a more relaxed manner then your posture.
âA toothâŚ?â You squinted at the item, it was pointy: like his own teeth.
Realistically, you didnât really wanna hold this. Not that youâd tell him that. You glanced up at him again and saw those same teeth, not a single one out of place. âDo ya like it?~â
He leaned closer to your face, his eyes widened ever so slightly in a more intimidating manner. Clearly his lack of personal space had never changed. âUm⌠yes! I doâŚ?!â You were quick to awnser back.
Pleased with himself, he giggled loudly and walked away.
What was that about?
After that heâd keep approaching you with odd gifts⌠at one point he presented you with the largest pearl youâve ever laid your eyes on and then the next day he gifted you with a handful of beautiful scales.
You dreaded to think about the poor mer behind that giftâŚ
Either way, this was suspicious, right? When Floyd leech approached you, you either run away or get squeezed, why were you getting gifts? It also didnât help your relationship with the Housewarden of Heartslabyul, who now avoids you like the plague.
Seriously, when you walk into a room Riddle happened to be in, he jumps up and leaves immediate- sometimes even running away like you were his tormentor instead of Floyd!
Youâd also noticed that Floyd would yawn more around you⌠You didnât think you were boring either because he wouldnât be around you if you were boring to begin with! âAre you getting enough sleep?â
âEh? Shrimpy doesnât like me?â Floyd pouted, You noticed him glance at your mouth breifly. âShrimpy~ thatâs rude.â Heâd whine louder, a darker look in his eyes than usual. You had no clue if you had offended him or not that timeâŚ
Another time was this happened. It actually happened far more often than you would think or enjoy.
âShrimpy~â heâd say repeatedly to annoy you while you walked around school. Like when a sibling kept poking at you and claiming they werenât touching you, but he had his hands behind his head as he followed behind you a bored expression on his face. He had been hanging around you more.
Sadly that meant your friends were less likely to approach you. And if they did it was because they neglected to see the towering eel boy.
âMy, My, Floyd had taken quite a liking to you.â Jade stated offhandedly one day. You were at the Mostro Lounge (Azul was tired of Floyd skipping work and offered you free meals to hang out so Floyd would get back to work.)
You glanced at the Eel with a confused look. âWhat do you mean?â He simply looked down at the small necklace you had made with Floydâs⌠gifts of a tooth and scales. Iâm your defense they made very nice jewelry. Was it a bit messed up to be wearing some students scale and possibly their tooth? Perhaps⌠but you were poor and wanted something nice to wear.
With the same odd mysterious smile, Jade was off to serve the next costumer.
So you took it upon yourself to figure out what that meant!
First you went asking around Octavinelle. This was a bad idea because most students avoid you like you were Floyd.
Thankfully you managed to corner one, A trembling student you was glancing behind and around you the whole while you talked to him. "So?" You finally asked, a hand on your hip.
"Uh... What? C-could you repeat the question...?" He finally looked to you.
"Whats up with Floyd!" You finally snapped a bit, with a groan and a small eyeroll you glared at the smallfry.
"A-aren't you his...?"
"What on earth does that mean..." You groaned in annoyance too yourself. You were still, very, extremely lost.
Jade:
Whatever do you mean? You started courting him first if he wasnât mistaken.
It was a Monday afternoon during autumn you believed, when he was serving you in the Mostro Lounge while you were studying. (They had a exclusive deal that lasted only that day) It was pretty late and so, you, like a very normal human, yawned. âMy, If Iâm not mistaken this is hardly that time of year.â He replied slyly as he gave you your half off drink.
You just glanced at him in confusion as he bowed and excused himself, ever the polite waiter.
That was⌠odd.
What was stranger was, now Jade has this habit of gifting you things he found on his hikes. It started with a flower to then a mushroom and for some reason he had gifted you a rock? He said he found it âfascinatingâ So he gifted it to you.
You didnât really know eitherâŚ
This whole issue began to intimidate you. I mean, Jade leech, gifting you things? There had to be some kind of motive behind it! There is always a motive behind the Octa-trios advances.
So, not wanting to owe him anything, you began gifting him things in return. âI found this at the store and thought you might like it.â Youâd smile warily and a bit nervously as you extended a hand, in it a Dorsel Fin candy.
Heâd smile and accept your gift, youâd breath a sigh of relief and go about your day as usual. At least now you didnât owe him anything!
Now it became a habit, or a fun little game! Whenever Jade would gift you something, youâd look for something of equal value or better! Something heâd like. Youâd attempt to one up him, but it was as if he knew about your game somehow and wasnât letting you win.
Eventually it started to become something else, he was just... always there now? You'd turn around and almost scream! Because: was he there the whole time?
The worst part? He helped you so much more than half the time you turned around, and he wasn't there, you wished he was. He was making your life harder by not being there!
Here is the thing, you can't just get someone use to having a nice, helpful helping hand who is also attractive and then just take that away! Its inhumane.
You gifted him a terrarium you made yourself.
You didn't know why you did it. Maybe you liked his company and wanted to show your appreciation, maybe it was just because you were fond of him.
It was pretty out of the blue as well. You had been working on it for a week now, it wasn't anything remotely at Jade's own level but it was nice. (It better have been because that hike to gather everything almost killed you.)
Was it worth it? Yes. Seeing his eyes widen slightly before he regained his composure was absolutely worth it. He almost had to cough into his hand in Suprise.
Jade wasn't the most expressive, but you had a few ideas of what his Suprise would be look like. "Do you like it?"
"I do perfect. Thank you."
Note: Jade will never confess. It'll be one of those relationships where you don't know how it started but now your married so... Have fun!
Azul:
He was hopeless. Everybody knew this simple fact, except of course: you.
He was a businessman, not a... romance man!
From the way he'd tug at his tie like it was choking him when you were around, to how flushed he'd get when you even glanced in his direction. This guy was absolutely hopeless.
He actually turned... A very bright red was he turning purple as well? and immediately fixes his posture when you're in the room.
Thankfully, it takes two to tango and you were interested in him as well.
So, yeah, it was up to you to pursue the shady businessman who isn't very shady around you and instead acts like, in his own words, "an idiot."
So, no... he doesn't exactly court you. You court him.
You bring him cool things you find, blabber on about what you like and what you think he would like. He was... very confused and flustered, but happy you were there.
It was only after you took an active role in the relationship that he relaxed slightly and began to play along. Giving gifts back and ranting about the business and some poor unfortunate soul he scammed helped.
As everything began to relax in your guy's relationship. It got too comfortable, well, comfortable wasn't the right word. He was comfortable, you were suffering.
Why wasn't he making a move?! Didn't he like you?
Meanwhile, he was feeling pretty good. Jade and Floyd had gotten to a place where they don't tease him as much about not being able to make a move with you. (He didn't you made all the moves.) And his crush was showering him with attention!
You'd glance at him nervously while you sat at Mostro Lounge. He was counting his contracts. His new ones he had started to reaccumulate.
You physically couldn't hold it back anymore. It had been a week. A whole week of nothing new happening between the two of you. The words fell from your lips fast, like rushing water you tried to hold back but couldn't. It would have always slipped through the cracks in your fingers anyway... So you asked him, the burning question. "I like you. Do you like me...?" You finally blurted out.
"What?" He froze up. His head whipping in your direction he didn't know what to do or say and- he was ruining this wasn't he?
Azul had always been an anxious boy, it helped him- Because despite those anxieties he'd show them. he'd overcome them! He always had. But what do you do exactly when the person your heart has been beating oddly for asked that?
"I- um..." was all you needed before you stood up and left. Trying to fight back the small burn that began in your eyes before you cried. "Wait!" He called out but you had been out the door far too soon to even remotely hear him.
It was... a whole thing. He hated it, you hated it, and despite him refusing to admit it, you both cried over it. You always did love the classic miscommunication trope. But it happened. And frankly, you' prefer it this way in the long run. Because when everything was cleared up...
You got to kiss the octopus boy!
A smile on your face when you pulled away, he stared at you slightly shocked but very happy.
In a side note, after you kissed him, he wondered around aimlessly for a good while before he broke out of whatever spell you put him under. (You're still the magicless perfect of ramshackle...)
___________
Note: Floyd is my favorite. I hope you could tell lol Do I adore Azul? Yes! Was he the last one I wrote so it was kind of rushed and not very long? Also yes... I tried to make it a bit special-er?
#floyd leech#floyd x reader#floyd leech x reader#twst floyd#Jade leech#jade x reader#jade leech x reader#twst jade#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#azul twst#azul twisted wonderland#Twst X Y/N#Twst X Reader#Twst X You#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland fanfiction#twisted wonderland#twisted series#Azul X You#Jade X you#Floyd X you#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#Twst X reader#twst fluff#twst#twst fanfiction#twst fanfic
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Professional Hazard (And Blue Tongues)
Karina x Male Reader
9k words
18+ smut
'I expected you to have...'
'Grey hair? Glasses thick as tank armor?' You lean back. 'Let me guessâancient and decrepit?'
'Something like that.' She toys with her iced americano, ice cubes clinking.
'Get that more than you'd think.'
'Can't imagine why.'
'Sure you can't.'
She straightens in her chair. 'Well? Are you going to ask your questions or what?'
'Did you have something specific in mind?'
'I thought you'd at least come prepared.' The sharp edge in her voice softens, adapting. 'After that email you sent.'
'I am prepared.'
'Do you know who I am?'
'I know you're Karina. I know you agreed to fund my little Italian vacation.' You keep your voice flat, unimpressed.
She laughs, short and sharp. 'They really sent someone who knows nothing.'
'Biographers aren't exactly growing on trees these days. Most of them are busy dying off.' [1]
'That's comforting.'
'About as comforting as your enthusiastic response to my email.'
'Ah.' She smirks. 'My monument to hubris?'
'Your words, not mine.'
'Christ, you're not exactly sunshine and roses, are you?'
'If only you knew.'
'Oh, I think I do.' She leans forward. 'People like meâwe're your bread and butter. Desperate enough to take the abuse just to get that book written.'
'Quick study.'
'Experience, darling.' She draws out the last word like stretched taffy.
'If immortality's what you're after, we're off to a rocky start.'
'Not even grateful for the Italian holiday?'
You meet her eyes. 'Bribery's nothing new. Don't expect it to polish your image.'
'Tough nut to crack, aren't you?'
'I have what I need.'
'Meaning?'
'Let me put this delicately: my last subject bought me a year at New York's finest.' [2]
'Fantastic.' She rattles her ice cubes harder.
'You know what I think?' She sets down her drink with deliberate care.
'Enlighten me.'
'I think you enjoy this. The whole "unimpressed biographer" act.'
You pull out your notebook, unhurried. 'That'd make a great chapter one. "Local girl psychoanalyzes writer, lives to regret it."'
'There it is again.' Her smile doesn't reach her eyes. 'Tell me, do your subjects usually last long enough for chapter two?'
'The interesting ones do.'
'And the boring ones?'
You flip open to a blank page. 'They get a lovely rejection letter.'
'Which I didn't.'
'Yet.'
She leans back, studying you. The late afternoon sun catches the edge of her glass, throwing prismatic shapes across the table. 'You really don't care that I could walk away right now.'
'The door's right there.' You click your pen. 'But we both know you won't.'
'Because?'
'Because you didn't spend three months negotiating with my publisher just to storm off over hurt feelings.'
'Maybe I just like wasting time.'
'Maybe.' You meet her gaze. 'But people who like wasting time don't usually have a dozen designer brand sponsorships.'
Something shifts in her expressionâsurprise, maybe, or respect. 'So you did do your homework.'
'I always do.' You position your pen over the blank page. 'Now, shall we begin with the real questions?'
'Shoot.' She shifts in her chair, the late afternoon sun warming the cafe corner we've claimed.
'Tell me about your sister.'
Her eyebrows lift slightly. 'Not starting with the obvious questions?'
'Would you prefer those?'
'No.' She smiles, genuine this time. 'She's a nurse. Like our mom.'
'Close?'
'Very. She's the only person who still calls me Jimin.' She stirs her americano. 'Probably the only person who can get away with it, too.'
'Why's that?'
'Because she knew me when I was just the quiet kid who'd rather read in corners than talk to anyone. Before all of...' She waves her hand vaguely. 'This.'
'Still prefer corners?'
'Sometimes.' She considers the question. 'There's this tiny bookstore in Seongnam. When I go home, I still visit. They have this perfect spot by the window.'
'What do you read?'
'Whatever catches my eye. Last week it was about sharks.'
You raise an eyebrow. 'Sharks?'
'Don't look so surprised.' She laughs. 'They're fascinating. Everyone thinks they know them, but they don't, not really.'
'Speaking from experience?'
She takes a long sip of her drink instead of answering.
'You don't have to do that, you know.' You set your pen down.
'Do what?'
'Deflect. Turn everything into a metaphor.'
She meets your eyes for a long moment. 'Force of habit.'
'Bad one.'
'Says the person who's been matching my deflections word for word.' A half-smile plays at her lips. 'We're quite the pair, aren't we?'
'Difference is, I'm paid to be difficult.'
'And I was raised to be.' The words slip out before she can catch them. Her fingers tighten around her glass.
You wait.
'You're good at this,' she says quietly.
'At what?'
'Making silence comfortable.' She looks out the window. 'Most people try to fill it.'
'Most people aren't trying to understand.'
She turns back to you, something shifting in her expression. 'Is that what you're trying to do? Understand?'
'Would that be so terrible?'
'No,' she says.
'Progress.' You pick up your pen again. 'Though I've just realized something deeply troubling.'
'What's that?'
'Your americano's been empty for ten minutes, and you're still pretending to drink it.'
She glances at her glass, caught. 'Method acting.'
'Ah yes, the classic "I'm too invested in this conversation to pause for a refill" performance.' You wave to catch the barista's eye. 'Oscar-worthy.'
'Says the person who hasn't touched their...' She leans forward to peek at your cup. 'What even is that?'
'Green tea.'
'Pretentious.'
'Says the person who ordered an iced americano in winter.'
'It's barely spring.'
'Case in point.'
The barista arrives with fresh drinks. Karina raises an eyebrow at your cup. 'Still green tea?'
'I'm consistent.'
'Boring.'
'Strategic.' You take a deliberate sip. 'Can't blame caffeine jitters for whatever honesty slips out.'
'Sneaky.'
'Professional.'
'Same thing.' She stirs her new drink, ice cubes clinking. 'So what's next in your strategic interrogation?'
'Thought we agreed to drop the deflection thing.'
'Old habits. Ten seconds at a time.'
'That's oddly specific.'
'It's how I learned to swim.' At your questioning look, she continues, 'Ten seconds of courage. Then you can panic all you want.'
'Does that work?'
'Got me here, didn't it?' She gestures between you two. 'Letting a stranger with a notebook and suspiciously consistent beverage choices pick apart my life.'
'You could always run.'
'To where? Croatia?' She laughs at your surprised expression. 'What? I have dreams.'
'Of Croatia specifically?'
'Of anywhere that doesn't know my name.'
'That's rather poetic for someone who just called me pretentious.'
'I contain multitudes.' She mock-bows in her seat.
'Walt Whitman now?'
'See? You're not the only one who can be insufferably well-read.'
You make a show of writing something down.Â
You flip to a fresh page. 'Tell me about Croatia.'
'Nothing to tell. Just a place.'
'There are plenty of places that don't know your name. Why that one?'
She traces the rim of her glass again, a habit you've started to recognize as her thinking gesture. 'Have you ever seen those old coastal towns? The ones with narrow streets and buildings that look like they're having conversations with each other?'
'Been to a few.'
'I want to get lost in one.' She looks up. 'Properly lost. No GPS, no itinerary. Just... walking until my feet decide to stop.'
'Most people want to be found.'
'Most people haven't spent years being findable.' The sharpness in her voice surprises both of you. She softens it with a smile. 'Sorry. That sounded more dramatic than intended.'
'Don't apologize. It's the first time you've stopped performing since we sat down.'
'I haven't beenâ' She stops. Laughs. 'Okay. Point taken.'
'Progress. Again.'
'You're keeping score?'
'Always.' You tap your notebook. 'It's kind of the whole point.'
'And how am I doing?'
'In being honest or deflecting?'
'Both.'
'You're averaging about fifty-fifty.'
'Generous scoring.'
'Strategic encouragement.'
'You're good at that.' She stretches slightly. 'Making people think they're in control of the conversation.'
'Are you not?'
'Please. We both know you've been steering this ship since you sat down.' She pauses. 'Though I will say, you're the first interviewer who hasn't asked about my routine yet.'
'Your routine?'
'You know. "What time do you wake up? What's your skincare regimen? How many hours do you practice?" That whole song and dance.'
'Would you like me to ask?'
'God no.' She grins. 'But I'm curious why you haven't.'
'Because routines are what people do. I'm more interested in who they are.'
'And who am I?'
'Still figuring that out. But I know you crack your knuckles when you're nervous.'
She stops mid-crack, caught. 'Observant.'
'Professional hazard.' You lean forward. 'Tell me something real. Not about routines or schedules or practices.'
'Like what?'
'Like what you think about at three AM when you can't sleep.'
She's quiet for a long moment. 'Sometimes I forget what my natural speaking voice sounds like.'
'What do you mean?'
'You spend so many years modulating everythingâyour voice, your laugh, your reactionsâuntil one day...' She shrugs. 'One day you catch yourself using your "public" voice to order coffee at 3 AM in an empty convenience store, and you realize you can't remember what you used to sound like.'
'And that bothers you.'
'Wouldn't it bother you? Losing something that fundamental without even noticing it was gone?'
'Is that why we're here? Trying to find it again?'
'Maybe.' She smiles, but it's different now. Unpolished. 'Or maybe I'm just tired of having "public" and "private" versions of everything.'
'Including your voice.'
'Including my entire existence.'
'Right.' You snap your notebook shut. 'We're getting gelato.'
â
[1] The suspicious rate at which biographers are "dying off" has become something of an industry joke. Three prominent biographers mysteriously retired after attempting to write about a certain K-pop company's CEO. Totally not suspicious.
[2] The Plaza Hotel, to be specific. Said subject was a tech billionaire whose autobiography mysteriously never made it to print. The hotel suite, however, maintains legendary status among New York's housekeeping staff for its impressive collection of empty green tea bottles and rejection letters.
â
She blinks. 'What?'
'We're walking.' You stand, gathering your things. 'Unless you have somewhere to be?'
'Are you actually asking, or is this another strategic move?'
'Both. Neither. Whatever. Does it matter if there's gelato involved?'
A genuine laugh escapes her. 'Fair point.'
The early evening air hits your faces as you step outside. She pulls on a capâmore habit than disguise.
'Left or right?' you ask.
'You're the one who lives here.'
'Technically, I've been here three days.'
'And you already know where to get gelato?'
'First thing I do in any city. Professional secret.'
'Ah yes, the biographer's handbook. Chapter One: locate ice cream immediately.'
'Chapter Two: never reveal your sources.' You turn left. 'Unless they're wearing a questionably large cap and hiding from their own voice.'
'Low blow.' But she's grinning. 'Also, my cap is perfectly sized.'
'For what? Smuggling library books?'
'That's... oddly specific.'
'Says the person who just quoted Walt Whitman in a cafe.'
You find the gelato place tucked between a bookstore and a vintage shop. The owner, an elderly Italian woman, lights up at your approach.
'Due?' she asks.
'SĂŹ,' you reply, then turn to Karina. 'What's your poison?'
She studies the flavors intently. 'What's the most unusual one?'
'Professional or personal answer?'
'There's a difference?'
'Professional would be something elegant. Personal...' You point to a vivid blue flavor. 'That one tastes like your childhood imaginary friend made a pact with a Smurf.'
She doesn't hesitate. 'Two scoops of that, please.'
'Really?'
'What?' She raises an eyebrow. 'Scared of a little blue tongue?'
'More scared of what my editor will say when the interview notes are stained cerulean.'
Ten minutes later, you're both leaning against a stone wall, gelato dripping in the warm evening air. Her tongue is, indeed, impressively blue.
'Yah! Why are you taking a picture?â
'Your tongue. I need photographic evidence for my editor.'
She complains, âself-respecting people wouldâve walked a long time ago.â
âAnd let me guess-â
âCorrect. Take a picture if you want.â
'Pulitzer worthy.' You take another bite of your considerably more dignified pistachio. 'So tell me about the sharks.'
'You're still on that?'
'You brought up marine biology in a cafe and then mysteriously changed the subject. I'm invested now.'
'There's nothing mysterious about it.' She licks a drop of blue from her knuckle. 'I just think they're neat.'
'That's the worst deflection yet.'
'Fine.' She pushes off the wall, starting to walk. 'When I was younger, I used to think they were lonely.'
You fall into step beside her. 'Sharks?'
'Mm. Always swimming, never stopping. Everyone afraid of them.' She shrugs. 'Stupid kid logic.'
'And now?'
'Now I think they're just... misunderstood.' She grins. 'That was terrible, wasn't it? Like a bad movie line.'
'Terrible. But honest.'
'You and your honesty fetish.'
'Says the person who just admitted to emotionally relating to sharks.'
She snorts, nearly dropping her cone. 'When you put it that wayâ'
'Oh, I'm definitely putting it that way. It's going in the book.'
'Absolutely not.'
'Chapter title: "The Shark Whispererâ. I can see it already'
She tries to hip-check you, but you dodge, protecting your gelato. 'I'm revoking your creative license.'
'Too late. The mental image of baby Jimin crying over shark documentaries is seared into my brain.'
'I did not cry overâ' She stops. 'Okay, maybe once. But it was a very sad documentary.' [1]
The sun is setting now, painting the cobblestones gold. You pass a street musician playing something soft and acoustic.
'Your sister know about the sharks?'
'Of course. She bought me the books.' Her smile turns fond. 'Still does, actually. Sends them to me randomly.'
'Recent ones?'
'Last week.' She finishes her cone. 'She has... interesting timing.'
'Interesting timing?'
'Mm.' She wipes her hands on a napkin. 'Right after I told her about the interview. She sent me one about great whites. Said something about facing fears.'
'Subtle.'
'About as subtle as your interview techniques.' She eyes your notebook, still tucked away. 'Not writing anymore?'
'Memory's better when I'm walking.' You tap your temple. 'Also, harder to write about blue tongues while walking.'
'Still blue?'
'Devastatingly so.'
She sticks her tongue out at a passing window, checking her reflection. 'Oh god, it's worse than I thought.'
'Crisis?'
'Please. I once had to perform with my hair half-green because of a dye mishap. This?' She gestures to her mouth. 'This is nothing.'
'Half-green?'
'Not going in the book.'
'Already mentally drafting the chapter.'
She groans. 'I'm starting to regret this whole walking thing.'
'Because of the blackmail material or the exercise?'
'Both. Neither.' She pauses by a small fountain. 'It's just... nice.'
'Nice?'
'Yeah.' She sits on the fountain's edge. 'No schedule. No plan. Just... walking and talking and eating questionably colored gelato with a stranger who probably thinks I'm having a quarter-life crisis.'
'Are you?'
'Having a crisis or eating gelato?'
'Now who's deflecting?'Â
And she pauses again, caught.
She dips her fingers in the fountain water, watching the ripples. 'Maybe I just wanted one normal evening. One conversation that wasn't prepackaged and pre-approved.'
'Mission accomplished, I'd say. Your tongue is literally blue.'
That startles a laugh out of her. 'You're never letting that go, are you?'
'It's going to be a running metaphor throughout the book. Deep, meaningful parallels between blue gelato and the human condition.'
'You're terrible at your job.'
'I'm excellent at my job. I got you to walk around Rome with blue teeth.'
'Is that the measure of success?'
'For this chapter? Absolutely.'
The street lamps are starting to flicker on, and the air has that peculiar Roman evening warmth that begs for a drink.
'Know any good bars?' she asks, as if reading your mind.
'Thought you'd never ask[2]. Fair warning thoughâmy Italian's terrible.'
'Better or worse than your interview skills?'
'Much worse. But I can order Aperol Spritz in seventeen different ways.'
'Useful life skill.'
'More useful than relating to sharks.'
She shoves your shoulder lightly. 'One more shark joke and I'm leaving.'
'No, you're not.'
'No, I'm not.' She grins. 'Lead the way, worst Italian speaker.'
You find a tiny place tucked away from the main streets. The kind tourists don't know about, with mismatched chairs and a bartender who looks old enough to have served Caesar himself.
'Due aperol spritz, per favore.' You ask.
The bartender raises an eyebrow. 'Americano? Il tuo italiano è buono!' (your Italian was⌠apparently⌠good.)
'Peggio,' you say. 'Giornalista'Â
(âWorse. Journalist.â)
He laughs, already reaching for glasses. Karina slides onto a barstool, looking around with genuine curiosity.
âHe seems pretty impressed by your Italian.â
âOh trust meâhe wasnât. He just wanted to be nice. Thatâs all. The inflections are quite easy to catch.â
âAlright, whatever you say. Giornalistaâ.'
You grin at her cute prod.
'How'd you find this place?' She asks; needless to say, she likes it here.
'Got lost my first night hereââfive years ago. It was either come in or keep pretending I knew where my hotel was.'
'And?'
'Woke up knowing exactly where my hotel was. And how to say "I'm sorry" in Italian.'
She laughs. 'That bad?'
'Let's just say there's a reason I stick to green tea now.'
The drinks arrive, vivid orange against the dark wood of the bar.
'To blue tongues,' you raise your glass.
'And bad Italian,' she clinks hers against it.
â
[1] The documentary in question was "Blue Planet II." Her sister still has the receipt for three boxes of tissues and a plush shark from the aquarium gift shop. The plush shark now sits in her studio, wearing a tiny version of her debut outfit. Her company has tried to mass-produce it twice. She's vetoed it both times.
[2] You were never this humble about your Italian until you talked to an Italian nonna. "Qui giace la dignitĂ di un giornalista" (Here lies a journalist's dignity).
â
'Speaking of bad decisionsâ'
'We weren't.'
'We are now. Tell me about the green hair incident.'
'Absolutely not.' She takes another sip of her spritz. 'Some secrets I'm taking to my grave.'
'Come on. Half-green hair? There's got to be a story there.'
'There is. A great one. You're still not hearing it.'
'I'll trade you.'
'Oh?' She turns on her stool to face you fully. 'What could you possibly have that's worth my green hair story?'
'Remember when I said I learned to say sorry in Italian?'
'The plot thickens.'
'Let's just say it involved a fountain, three angry nuns, and a very patient carabinieri.'
She nearly chokes on her drink. 'You're making that up.'
'Want to bet your green hair story on it?'
'You know what?' She signals the bartender for another round. 'Fine. But if you're lying, you're buying drinks for the rest of the night.'
'Deal.'
'And no taking notes.'
'Now that's just cruel.'
'Professional hazard,' she mimics your earlier tone, then grins. 'Okay, storyteller. Dazzle me.'
The bartender sets down fresh drinks, and you lean in conspiratorially. 'So picture this: my first night in Rome, about five years ago...'
'Wait.' She holds up a hand. 'We need to establish stakes. If this story doesn't involve all three elementsâfountain, nuns, and policeâyou're not only buying drinks, you're telling me where you actually learned to say sorry in Italian.'
'Counter-offer. If my story checks out, I get the green hair story plus whatever happened at that music show in Busan.'
Her eyes narrow. 'What music show in Busan?'
'The one you just reacted to.'
'That's... that's actually impressive.'
'Five years of professional nosiness at work. Deal?'
She clinks her glass against yours. 'Deal. Now stop stalling.'
'Right. So. Five years ago. I'd just finished an interview with this ancient countess at the bar. I mean, itâs the bar. Who else gets to interview a countess at a bar? Thatâs like crazy Bourdain-level shit right there.â
She nods along. 'Of course you did.'
'Anyway, she invited me to this wine cellar...'
'Oh no.'
'Oh yes. And mind you, I was already quite drunk. And she was very, very insistent about hospitality...'
Twenty minutes and much laughter later, you finish: '...and that's why you should never trust Google Translate to help you apologize to Italian law enforcement.'
She's wiping tears from her eyes. 'The part with the catâ'
'Hand to god. Still have the scars.'
'Okay.' She catches her breath. 'Okay, you win. That was worth it.'
'Time to pay up. Green hair. Spill.'
'Can I have one more drink first?'
'For courage?'
'So I can blame it on the drink.' She waves at the bartender. 'I still can't believe you showed those nuns your interview notes to prove you weren't a street performer.'
'Desperate times.'
'Speaking of desperate...' She takes a fortifying sip of her fresh spritz. 'Ever tried to fix green hair with grape juice?'
'No.'
'Don't.'
'There has to be more to this story than grape juice.'
'Oh, there's so much more.' She settles into her seat. 'Picture this: it's two hours before a live broadcast. I'm sitting in the makeup chair, feeling pretty good about life. You know, like that particular moment where your face just⌠shines. Then my stylist walks in, takes one look at my hair, and just... screams.'
'Screams?'
'Full horror movie scream. Turns out the hair dye we used was... let's say "not exactly approved by management."'
'Let me guess. DIY job?'
'Worse. My sister's friend's cousin who "totally went to beauty school."'
'Oh no.' You snort, taking a hefty drink of the remaining spritz.
'Oh yes. So there I am, one side of my head this bizarre shade of swamp-thing green, and everyone's running around like it's the end of the world.'
'Which is when someone suggested grape juice?'
'Actually, that was my idea.' She grimaces. 'I'd read somewhere that grape juice could neutralize green tones. What they failed to mention was that this works for swimming pools, not hair.' [1]
'So what happened?'
'Picture a very expensive wig, three cans of dry shampoo, and me trying to explain to the camera director why I couldn't turn my head to the left.'
'Did it work?'
'Define "work."' She takes another sip. 'If by "work" you mean "did I make it through the broadcast without anyone seeing the grape-juice-tinged disaster," then yes. If by "work" you mean "did I maintain any dignity," then absolutely not.'
'The fans never found out?'
'Oh, they did. Someone leaked a backstage photo three months later.' She grins. 'By then I'd managed to fix it. Mostly.'
'Mostly?'
'My sister still has a strand of green hair she saved. Threatens to post it whenever I don't answer her calls.'
'Effective.'
'Terrifying.' She raises her glass. 'Your turn again. What's the worst interview you've ever done?'
'Besides this one?'
She kicks your chair. 'I'm delightful and you know it.'
'You're something, all right.'
Three drinks in, and the bar's emptied enough that her laugh echoes a little too loudly. She covers her mouth, but it's too late â the old bartender shoots them an amused look.
'Sorry,' she stage-whispers.
'For what? The laugh or the fact that it just shattered three ancient Roman wine glasses?'
'Shut up.' She kicks your chair again. 'I don't always laugh like that.'
'Let me guess â there's a public laugh and a private laugh?'
'There's a whole taxonomy.' She sits up straighter, counting on her fingers. 'Interview laugh, variety show laugh, fan meeting laugh, oh-that's-not-actually-funny-but-you're-my-sunbae laughâ'
'Please tell me you're joking.'
'I wish.' She slumps forward, head on her arms. 'I once had to attend a laughing seminar.'
'A what now?'
'A laughing seminar. Professional instruction on the art of the public giggle.' Her voice is muffled against her sleeve. 'There was a PowerPoint and everything.'
'You're making this up.'
She lifts her head. 'I spent three hours learning about laugh-adjacent breathing techniques while a woman named Mrs. Kim hit a triangle every time someone laughed "inappropriately."'
You stare at her. She stares back.
'That's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard,' you say finally.
'I know.' She dissolves into another too-loud laugh, this one definitely not seminar-approved. 'God, I can still hear that triangle.'
'Is that why you're here?'
'Getting drunk with a biographer in Rome? No, that's just poor life choices.'
'Speaking honest truths to a stranger?'
'Oh.' She straightens up, but there's still something loose in her smile. 'Maybe. Or maybe I just really needed to tell someone about Mrs. Kim and her triangle of terror.'
'Triangle of terror.' You shake your head. 'That's going in the book.'
'Along with the blue tongue and green hair? You're really painting a picture here.'
'It's called character development.'
'It's called character assassination.' She signals for water. 'What else are you putting in there?'
'Wouldn't you like to know.'
'Actually, yes. That's literally why I'm asking.'
'Fine.' You pretend to flip through your mental notes. 'Chapter One: Sharks and Empathyâ'
'Oh my god.'
'Chapter Two: The Grape Juice Incidentâ'
'I'm starting to regret everything.'
'Chapter Three: Laugh Taxonomies by Aespaâs Karinaâ'
'I hate you.'
'Chapter Four: Why Romans Don't Trust Her With Fountains Anymoreâ'
'That was you! That was literally your story!'
'Was it? Everything's getting a bit fuzzy.' You tap your temple. 'Must be all that professional memory I was bragging about earlier.'
She throws an olive at you. The bartender clears his throat.
'Sorry,' you both say in unison, then look at each other and start laughing again.
'You know what's really funny?' she says, once you've both contained yourselves.
'Mrs. Kim's triangle?'
'Besides that.' She accepts the water from the bartender. 'This is probably the worst interview you've ever done.'
'Oh, definitely.'
'And yet...'
'And yet?'
'It's the most honest one I've given.' She pauses. 'God, that sounded way less cheesy in my head. Must be the spritz talking.'
'Blame it on the altitude.'
'We're at sea level.'
'Blame it on the sea level.'
'You're ridiculous.' She's grinning though. 'Is this how all your interviews go?'
'Usually there's less gelato. More gravitas.'
'Gravitas is overrated.'
'Says the woman who attended a laughing seminar.'
'Hey, I'll have you know my triangle-approved giggle is very dignified.'
'Prove it.'
She sits up straighter, arranges her features into something serene, and lets out the most artificial laugh you've ever heard. It's so pristine it's almost disturbing.
'That was horrifying.'
'That was three hours of professional training.'
'I'm concerned about your profession.'
'Join the club.' She relaxes back into her natural posture. 'We have meetings every Tuesday. Bring your own triangle.'
The bartender slides over the check with a knowing look. Last call came and went without either of you noticing.
'Well,' you say, reaching for your wallet. 'I suppose this isâ'
'Wait.' She puts her hand on your arm. 'I have a confession.'
'Another one? The green hair wasn't enough?'
'I read your book.'
'Which one?'
'The one about the ballet dancer who quit to become a motorcycle mechanic.'
'Ah.' You sit back. 'And?'
'And I maybe, possibly, completely changed my mind about this whole interview when I read it.'
'Because?'
'Because...' She fidgets with her empty glass. 'You made her sound so... human.'
'As opposed to?'
'A story. A headline.' She traces a pattern on the bar top. 'Most people would've written about the scandal, the career she "threw away." But you wrote about how she names each motorcycle she fixes. How she still dances in her garage at midnight.'
'Ah. That.'
'That.' She looks up. 'Is that why you haven't asked me about any of it?'
'Any of what?'
'Don't play dumb. The headlines. The speculation. Theâ'
'The triangle-approved responses you've probably rehearsed?'
She laughs, caught. 'Something like that.'
'Here's the thing about headlines.' You start gathering your things. 'They're usually more interesting than the truth.'
'And what's the truth?'
'That sometimes people just want to eat blue gelato and tell embarrassing stories in a bar and talk a biographerâs ears off.'
She kicks your chair again, barely noticeable. 'Even if those stories end up in a book?'
'Especially then.' You stand, offering her jacket. 'Though I might need you to sign a waiver about the grape juice incident.'
'I knew it! You are using it!'
'Chapter title: "The Perils of Amateur Chemistry: A Cautionary Tale."'
She shrugs on her jacket, shaking her head. 'You're impossible. That AI flair was so intentional'
'Says the woman who legitimately attended a laughing seminar.'
'I'm never living that down, am I?'
'Not as long as I have a functioning memory and a publishing contract.'
The Roman night is warm as you both step out of the bar. She stumbles slightly on the cobblestones.
You offer a hand which she quickly grabs.
'Don't you dare put that in the book,' she warns.
'Put what? The graceful interpretation of contemporary dance you just performed?'
'These streets are rigged.' She steadies herself. 'Also, your hotel's this way.'
'How do you know where my hotel is?' Youâre not exactly one to remember locations, probably the reason you were able to gain such a repository of ridiculous stories.
'Because it's my hotel.' She grins at your expression. 'What? You think you're the only one who does research?'
'I'm concerned about your stalking tendencies.'
'Says the person who somehow knew about the Busan incident.'
'Professional hazard.'
'You really need new catchphrases.'
The walk is quiet, comfortable. Rome at night feels like a different cityâall golden lights and shadow play. A cat watches you pass from its perch on a window sill.
'Don't even think about it,' she says.
'About what?'
'Making some poetic comparison between me and that cat.'
'Please. I'm a much better writer than that.'
'Sure you are, shark whisperer.'
You reach the hotel entrance. She pauses.
'Well,' she says. 'This has been...'
'Professionally catastrophic?'
'I was going to say enlightening.'
'That too.'
The hotel lobby is all marble and soft lighting. Your footsteps echo slightly.
'I have a balcony,' she says suddenly. 'And a really pretentious coffee machine I can't figure out.'
'Is this a cry for help with appliances?'Â
'This is...' She fidgets with her room key. 'This is me not wanting the interview to end yet.'
'The interview ended somewhere between blue gelato and the triangle story.'
'Then what's this?'
âBelieve or not, some people just like having fun on their Italian vacation.â
âHaha. Very funny.â
'This is...' You pretend to consider. 'Two people who might be friends if one of them wasn't writing a book about the other.'
'Complicated.'
'Professional hazard.'
'There's that phrase again.' She presses the elevator button. 'Come on. I'll teach you how to laugh properly.'
'With or without the triangle?'
She steps into the elevator. 'Depends on how good you are at making coffee.'
'Now who's the impossible one?'
The doors start to close. She holds them.
'Coming?'
You join her in the elevator. 'For the record, I'm excellent at coffee.'
'For the record,' she mimics your tone, 'that's going in the book.'
Her room is on the top floor, with a view that makes you understand why people write poetry about Rome.
'So,' she says, fighting with the coffee machine. 'This button makes it angry, and this one makes it hiss.'
'Move over, amateur.' You reach around her to press a combination of buttons. The machine purrs to life.
'Show off.' But she's smiling as she heads for the balcony. 'Bring your coffee wizardry out here when it's ready.'
The balcony is small, just enough room for two chairs and all of Rome spread out below. She's curled up in one chair, shoes off, looking more real than she has all day.
'Your professional opinion,' she says as you hand her a cup. 'Is this going to be a good book?'
'Depends.'
'On?'
'On whether you let me keep the shark metaphors.'
She laughs into her coffee. 'You're never letting that go.'
'Never.' You take the other chair. 'Though I might be willing to negotiate.'
'Terms?'
'Tell me something nobody knows. Something that won't make the book.'
She's quiet for a moment, looking out at the city lights. 'I sing in the shower.'
'Everybody knows that.'
'No, I mean...' She turns to face you. 'I sing the old songs. The ones I used to practice when I was just some kid in Bundang with a dream too big for my voice.'
'And?'
'And sometimes I still feel like her. That kid. Especially at night, in foreign hotels, when the city feels like it belongs to someone else.'
'Especially at night, in foreign hotels, when the city feels like it belongs to someone else.'
'Wow.' You let out a low whistle. 'That was incredibly profound.'
She groans, covering her face. 'I know. I'm sorry. That was straight out of a drama script.'
'I was thinking more indie movie. You know, the kind where people have deep conversations on balconies in Rome atâ' you check your watch, 'âone in the morning.'
'Oh god, we're living a clichĂŠ.'
'Complete with coffee and two chairs overlooking Rome.'
'Quick,' she straightens up, 'say something unprofound. Save us from ourselves.'
'My tongue is still kind of blue.'
She peeks at you over her coffee cup. 'Mine too.'
'Better?'
'Much better.' She slouches back in her chair. 'Though now I'm thinking about how this would look in your book. "Two idiots with blue tongues have existential crisis on expensive balcony."'
'Don't forget the part where one of them somehow charmed a coffee machine.'
'And the other one used to sing in her shower.'
'Still,' you correct. 'Present tense.'
'Still,' she admits. 'But if you put that in your book, I'll have to tell everyone about your fountain incident.'
'Mutually assured destruction. I like it.'
She yawns, then looks embarrassed. 'Sorry. It's not the company, it'sâ'
'The five Aperol Spritzes?'
'That. And the emotional toll of remembering Mrs. Kim's triangle.'
'Tragic backstory,' you nod solemnly. 'Very character-building.'
'Speaking of character-building...' She sets down her empty cup, turns to face you fully. 'This is usually the part in your books where something significant happens.'
'Is it?'
'Mm. Chapter twelve. Always a turning point.'
'You really did read my books.'
'I told you that already.' She's closer now, somehow. 'What I didn't mention was that I figured out your pattern.'
'My pattern?'
'The way you write moments like this.' Her voice is soft. 'When everything gets quiet, and the city's just background noise, and someone's about to do something...'
'Inadvisable?'
'I was going to say brave.'
'Brave is just inadvisable with better PR.'
She laughs, barely a whisper. 'You're deflecting again.'
'Professionalâ'
'If you say "hazard" right now,' she cuts in, 'I'm going to throw you off this balcony.'
'That would be...'
'Inadvisable?'
'I was going to say "terrible for my book sales."'
She's definitely closer now. 'Your book sales are about to be the least of your problems.'
'Because you're going to kiss me or throw me off the balcony?'
'I haven't decided yet.'
'Well,' you murmur, 'for what it's worth, one of those options would make a much better chapter twelve.'
She closes the distance between you, smiling against your lips. 'Professional hazard.'
You and Karina shared an instant spark that neither of you had experienced. Ever. The moment that first tease left your mouth, it was over.
â
[1] The sentiment of grape juice being able to eliminate green tones turned out to be completely unfounded. Despite this, wine sommeliers around the world have complained about Koreans with their distinct accent asking about grape juiceâs ability to change colors.
â
The kiss tastes like coffee and Aperol and something sweetâprobably the remnants of that ridiculous blue gelato. It's soft and quiet and perfect, the kind of moment that would sound made up in a book.
She pulls back slightly. 'Your editor's going to hate this.'
'Definitely.' You tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 'Completely unprofessional.'
'Thoroughly inadvisable.'
'Absolutely perfect for chapter twelve.'
She kisses you again, and Rome keeps existing below, indifferent to your small moment of magic. Somewhere in the distance, a church bell chimes twice.
'You know,' she whispers, 'this is usually where you'd write something profound about the city of love.'
'That's Paris.'
'Now who's deflecting?'
'Still you. But I'm starting not to mind.'
She laughs, soft and realâdefinitely not triangle-approvedâand rests her forehead against yours, your breaths intermixing, plenty of intimate eye contact. 'Is this going in the book?'
'What do you think?'
'I think...' Her fingers find yours. 'I think some stories we get to keep for ourselves.'
'I think some stories we get to keep for ourselves.'
'Even after I charmed your coffee machine? That's cold.'
She makes a face. 'You're really bringing up coffee machine prowess right afterâ'
'Right after you thoroughly compromised my journalistic integrity? Yes.'
'Your journalistic integrity was compromised the moment you let me eat blue gelato.'
'My journalistic integrity was compromised the moment I saw you.' You run your thumb across her knuckles.
Her eye contact wavers and her voice falters, âGosh, youâre such a player.â
âFlirting has never come so easily before.â You whisper against her mouth.
'Oh really?'
'Obviously.'
'Which was?'
'Stare at that blue tongue some more.â'
She shoves you lightly. 'You're terrible.'
'And yet.'
'And yet.' She settles on your lap, the forehead to forehead more natural now. 'So what happens now?'
'Well, traditionally, this is where I'd write something about dawn breaking over the eternal cityâ'
'Please don't.'
'âwith golden light catching on ancient stonesâ'
'I'm begging you to stop.'
'âas two souls find each other under the Roman skyâ'
She claps a hand over your mouth. 'I will literally pay you to not finish that sentence.'
You kiss her palm before she pulls it away. 'Isn't that technically bribery?'
'Add it to the list. Right after "compromised journalistic integrity" and "suspicious coffee machine expertise."'
'Speaking of compromising situations...' You glance at your watch. 'It's almost three AM.'
'Worried about your reputation?'
'Worried about your triangle-approved schedule.'
'Bold of you to assume I ever sleep.' She stands, stretching. 'Want to order terrible room service and you can tell me about all the other journalists you've scandalized?'
'That's a very short list. Very enticing regardless.âÂ
'Good.' She holds out her hand.
The night air has turned cooler, carrying the faint scent of jasmine from somewhere below. Her fingers trace the collar of your shirt, hesitant but deliberate.
'What happened to room service?' you murmur.
'It can wait.' Her eyes meet yours, playful but wanting. 'I'm conducting my own interview first.'
This kiss is different from the first. Slower, more certain. The city hums below, a distant lullaby of late-night cars and echoing footsteps. When she sighs into the kiss, it's the softest sound you've ever heard. When she falters against your forceful touches, itâs the softest youâve ever felt a woman.
She pulls back just enough to breathe, her forehead resting against yours. Her heartbeat is quick under your palm.
'Better than chapter twelve?' she whispers.
You catch her lips again in answer, feeling her smile. The wind stirs her hair, sending strands brushing against your cheek. Everything smells like jasmine and coffee and her perfumeâsomething subtle and expensive that you'll probably spend the rest of your life over-romanticizing.
Because thatâs what Karina deserves.
Rome stretches out endless and ancient around you, but all you can focus on is how perfectly she fits against you, how real she feels away from cameras and crowds.
Your lips find hers in the dark, soft and certain now. Her fingers trail up your neck, threading through your hair, pulling you closer. There's an art to the way she kissesâdeliberate yet desperate, like she's trying to memorize the moment. Your hands settle at her waist, and she makes a small sound that you know you'll remember forever.
Her lips part against yours, deepening the kiss until you're both breathless. The balcony railing presses into your backâwhen did that happen?âand her body is warm against yours, fitting perfectly in all the spaces between.
Her teeth graze your bottom lip, teasing. You respond by trailing kisses along her jaw, feeling her pulse jump under your lips. When you find that sensitive spot just below her ear, her sharp intake of breath makes you smile against her skin.
She pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. Her lips are slightly swollen, her careful composure beautifully undoneââhair spread everywhere, but just so that she looks ethereal rather than messy. You brush your thumb across her lower lip, and she catches it with her teeth, playful even now.
âStill planning to put this in chapter twelve?â she whispers, breathless.
Your answer gets lost somewhere between her lips and⌠her lips.
Her laugh vibrates against your lips when you finally break apart. âWe should probablyââ
âGo inside?â Your lips find the curve of her neck again.
âI was going to say breathe.â But her head tilts back, giving you better access. Her pulse flutters under your kiss like a trapped bird. âThough inside works too.â
You pull back just enough to look at her. Hair mussed, eyes bright, that perfect composure completely undone. She's never looked more beautiful than she does right now, with the city lights catching in her eyes and her professional smile nowhere to be found.
âWhat?â she asks, suddenly self-conscious.
âJust thinking.â
âAbout?â
âHow this definitely isn't going in the book.â
Her smile turns mischievous. âNo?â Her fingers trace patterns on your chest. âNot even a little mention of how you completely forgot about journalistic integrity the moment Iââ
âThen chapter 12 would entirely consist of me betraying my profession in order to catch your lips with my teeth.â
âWow. Youâre bad. Like, real bad.â
âYou have no idea.â
You cut her off with another kiss, swallowing her laugh. Her hands slide up your chest, around your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. The world narrows to just this: her lips on yours, her body pressed against you, the soft sounds she makes when you run your fingers down her spine.
âInside,â she murmurs against your mouth. âBefore we really give Rome something to talk about.â
You let her lead you through the balcony doors, both of you stumbling slightly, unwilling to break contact. She tastes like promises now, like stories yet to be written. Her hands are everywhereâyour hair, your chest, your face â like she's trying to read you by touch alone.
âWait,â you manage, as her lips find that spot below your ear that makes thinking difficult. âWhat aboutââ
âIf you mention room service right now,â she warns, âI'm going back to my original plan of throwing you off the balcony.â
âI was going to say 'what about your triangle-approved image?'â
She pulls back, eyes dancing. âOh, that?â Her lips brush yours, teasing. âI think we thoroughly compromised that at the first meeting.â
"Professional hazard?"
"Shut up," she whispers, and kisses you again.
She sighs into your mouth, a soft, vulnerable sound that makes your heart stutter.
Her fingers tangle in your hair, nails scraping lightly against your scalp, sending shivers down your spine. You walk her backward until she's pressed against the wall, her body arching into yours.
You trail kisses down her neck, learning herâ the spot beneath her jaw that makes her gasp, the curve where neck meets shoulder that makes her fingers tighten in your hair. Her pulse races under your lips, a rapid drumbeat that matches your own. When you find a particularly sensitive spot, her sharp intake of breath is the sweetest sound you've ever heard.
She tugs you back up to her mouth, kissing you like she's trying to tell you something words can't capture. Her lips are soft but insistent, moving against yours with a rhythm that makes you dizzy. One of her legs hooks around yours, pulling you even closer, and you groan into her mouth.
Her hands frame your face now, thumbs stroking your cheeks as she kisses you deeper, slower, like she's trying to memorize every second. You respond in kind, pouring everything you can't say into the kissâhow beautiful she is like this, how real, how perfectly she fits against you.
When you finally break apart, you're both breathing hard. Her lips are swollen. You rest your forehead against hers, sharing the same air, neither of you willing to move away.
"Still thinking about the book?" she murmurs, voice husky.
You answer by catching her lower lip between your teeth, gentle but playful, and feel her smile against your mouth.
Her smile against your mouth turns into a soft laugh. "I'll take that as a no."
âTake it as whatever you want.â Your lips find her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. âI stopped thinking about the book long ago.â
She hums contentedly, her fingers tracing patterns on the nape of your neck. âGood.â Her other hand is still tangled in your shirt, keeping you close. âBecause I have a confession.â
âAnother one?â
Instead of answering, she kisses you again, slow and deep. Her tongue traces your lower lip, and you respond by pressing her further into the wall, swallowing the small sound she makes. One of her legs is still hooked around yours, and when she shifts slightly, the new angle makes you both gasp.
âThat wasn't a confession,â you murmur against her lips.
âNo?â Her teeth graze your earlobe. âI thought I was being pretty clear.â
Your hands slide to her waist, steadying her. She's intoxicating like this, all careful control abandoned, her public persona nowhere to be found.
âJimin,â you breathe, and feel her shiver at the sound of her real name.
Her response is to pull you closer, kissing you like she's trying to say everything without words. Her lips are soft but certain against yours, and you lose yourself in the feelingâthe warmth of her body, the subtle scent of her perfume.
The city continues its nighttime symphony outside, but in here, the only sound is your shared breathing and the soft, desperate noises she makes when you find that sensitive spot on her neck again.
She pulls back slightly, just enough to meet your eyes. In the dim light, her gaze is soft, unguarded. Her thumb traces your lower lip.
âWhat?â you ask, voice rough.
âI'm trying to decide something.â
"Whether to throw me off the balcony? Because I thought we moved pastâ"
She cuts you off with another kiss. Her hands cup your face, holding you there as she explores your mouth with a thoroughness that makes you dizzy. You respond by feeling her firm and perky ass.
âNoâ,â she moans when you break apart for air. âI'm trying to decide if this is real.â
Instead of answering, you trail kisses down her neck, feeling her pulse jump under your lips. Her head falls back against the wall, giving you better access. When you reach her collarbone, she makes a sound that's half-sigh, half-moan.
âFeels real enough,â you murmur against her skin.
Her laugh is breathy, unsteady. âI meantââ She gasps as you find a particularly sensitive spot. âI meant this. Us. This whole night.â
You lift your head to look at her. Her lips are swollen from kissing, her carefully styled hair a mess from your fingers. She's never looked more beautiful.
âIf you think I did all of this for the fun of it, youâre clearly missing something.â
âA gear in the head?â
âDefinitelyââ
âGosh, how do I allow this sort of petulance?â
âBecause itâs me.â
âYouâre a player.â
âOnly for you.â You catch her lips, even more wantingâand she forfeits it all.Â
You pick her up, mussing up her perfect outfit, mussing up her perfect lips. And you finally throw her against the bed.
âYouâre really roughing up Pradaâs global ambassador.â
âAnd ambassador to a dozen other brands worth billionsâcouldnât care less.ââÂ
She smirks, and her arms open, waiting, pliant, obedient.
You rip off your buttoned shirt, tear off your pants; now, thereâs truly no way of going back.
âWow. That scar is a lot larger than I imagined.â Sheâs referring back to the scar that you received during that drunk haze of a night.
âIt was dark. Mightâve even been a lion.âÂ
âMm. Heroic. Come here.â
Now, who could ever resist that?
You rip off her clothes, each layer even more decadent than the other. And then, she was there. bra barely containing her breasts, and a layer of dampness along her sexy panties.
âThat was expensive, by the way.â
âIâve got a payment plan on course.â
âMm. Enlighten me.â
You pull her panties to the side.
Sheâs dripping wet, nectar spooling right on her pink core. A glorious sheen that makes you stare far longer than you shouldâve. Sheâs red-faced at this point, and her forearms cover most of her sight, and yet, she doesnât move, doesnât retreat.Â
The first lick you place, just a brush against her engorged clit, crumbles every self-regulated triangle-approved behavior she has. Two pants turn fifty, one lick crumbles everything. Her hips coax you in ways gymnasts canât even replicate, and of course, you oblige.
Soft licks, teases around her outer lips, swollen from all the anticipation and arousal; tonguing at her inner lips, just at the crux of her clit, gets her screaming in ways her deep voice would never register; and above all, sheâs orgasming, squirting, losing every pretense in favor of her built up lust.Â
âOh~fuckââ
Her fingers find purchase in your hair, and she softly pulls you inârides your face like it was all that she ever desired: her eternal wish.
âOhmygod! Imcumming!â Her voice turns mousy, and her pupils go back in pure pleasure, coupled with hip movements thought impossible: this was the greatest pleasure of her life.
You grab her chin, squeeze softly, her cheeks molding to your grasp, and you press a soft kiss right on her kiss-bruised lips. You let her taste herself on your tongue.
âGood. Right?â
And she nods. A complete personality switch from the playfulness she displayed earlier. Delicate.
Her hands land on your boxers as she melted into your kiss. Once you felt her palm your cock, you groaned right in her ear. She starts softly, stroking. But her strokes grow more all-encompassing as you press harder into the kiss.
âFuck. Youâre so good for me.â
She mewls back, on the gradient slide of unadulterated pleasure.
Softly, you release your shaft from the boxer. And you press your cock right on her core. Feeling the wet heat, the sticky nectar that pooled to a mindbreaking degree.Â
âIt goes without saying.â
âThat Iâm head over heels for you?â
You grin, âWell, that too, but youâre hopeless.â
âMaybe if we werenât so compatible.â
You grab a breast, palming it, âWell that, that too, goes without saying.â
She smiles, so warmly, every trace of everything else melted off her faceââthe sort of smile youâd never forget, and the sort of smile youâd want to wake up to⌠forever.
Finally, you press into her, and her wet heat envelops you, enough to make you groan, enough to make her moan like thereâs no greater pleasureââbecause really, thereâs nothing else.
Her pussy clings onto you, a wet suction that is immeasurably soft and yet, a vacuum-seal-like tightness that gets you groaning after every thrust.
Her arms cling to you, and her eyebrows knit, her small face full of emotionâall of it processing how good you fuck her.
âOh god. Would it be bad that I want you to declare to the world that you own me?â
âChapter 12ââ
She cuts you off, âSomething along the lines of: âChapter 12: Karina is my fuckslutââÂ
âI donât tolerate Karina disrespect.â You say, truthfully.
âEven if itâs by myself?â
âEspecially for that case, sweetheart.â
âOh⌠youâre too good.â
âYouâre blind.â
Most popular idol in the world, and⌠sheâs hopelessly down bad for you.
âIf Iâm blind. Then you donât have eyesâcomplete darkness.â
âWeâre two of the same.â
âIâm your biggest fan.â
âWeâre two of the same.â
âI love you.â
âYou have a way with words, Karina.â You reply, pressing soft kisses along her jaw, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, thrusting into her harder, sharing breaths.
âYouâve inspired me.â
And you lock lips with her, the thrusts were becoming a blur, and her moans music to your earsâit was all just⌠heaven.
There was no technique. Nothing too purposeful. It was all just pure affection, pure love guiding all your actions. And the fact that sheâs cumming again was no coincidence.
âOh. My. Fucking. God!â Her head goes back deep into the pillow and you follow suit. Pressing soft kisses that covered every square centimeter of her beauty, kisses that made her giggle even in her most orgasmic moment of her life.Â
âIf I knew anything that felt like this⌠Iâd be doing it constantly.â
âWellââ
âThatâs right,â Karina gives a soft peck, âI have you now.âÂ
You could feel her heartbeat, her skin precipitate, and her cunt pulseâitâs just heaven at this point.Â
âAre you trying to convince me to follow you?â
â2 years, finest in New York.â
âDeal. Though you overbid a little.â
âMeaning?â
âMeans anything you want, dear.â
The soft slick of her cunt made it nearly frictionless, just pure pleasure for both parties. Her hips gave way every time, an identity of its own, retreating when you thrust too hard, giving in when softer.â
âIs this like a sugar mommy situation?â
âTwo words I never expected you to say.â You both share a laugh.
âI mean thatâs what it is right?â
âA power imbalance? Please. I can get you to buy a New York penthouse for me at this point.â
âWell. Youâre right. Butââ
You bring your cock to the hilt inside of her, whilst stealing her lips for a deep kiss. She moans and mewls and gaspsâmusic to your ears. You change positions. You bring her legs to your shoulders, and you begin kissing along her ankle while thrusting inside of her.
This time, you can see the full view. How her breasts bounce against the thrusts, how her slick has completely covered your entire length at this point, and how beautifully her face is framed between it all.Â
Her mouthâs agape, moaning, giggling intermittently with the jokes shared through eye contact. You bite softly at her ankle then down her legs, to her calves, then releasing her legs altogether to kiss her again.
She fits perfectly against you, small and delicate but the perfect puzzle piece under you. Sheâs absorbent, aware of your needs, placing soft kisses along the ridges of your eyebrows, rubbing away the dayâs fatigue along your jaw and temple.Â
âI love you.â
âI love you too.â
âI didnât hear.â
You press against her, feeling her breasts spool against your chest, bring your thrust to the hilt, the wetness of her loins pressed against yours, all of them vividly apparent. âI love your beauty. I love your humor. I love how clever you are. I love how authentic you are. And I could continue on and on but Iâm about to cum.â
Karina sniffled, âGod, I was about to cry and then you say that.â She softly smacks your shoulder, âjust cum inside me and letâs cuddle.â
You oblige, the thrusts turn into a haze of pure pleasure, a desperate moment chasing the local maxima, and finally, you burst inside of her. Cum spooled, all inside her, and she moans so gracefully, staring at you with all the affection in the world.
âWe can worry about this tomorrow.â She palmed your jaw.
âOf course.â You fall onto her, cuddling her.
Both of you are a mess, gross, bodily fluids spread everywhere, and yet, the both of you fell into a deep slumber.
A/N: I'd like to apologize for switching up styles so much (But if you enjoyed this dialogue-heavy work, then lmk!)
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Hands off (Lando Norris x Reader)
Summary- In world where soulmates exist. Some people have handprints on their body for when their soulmate touches them for the first time. Lando wonders why his soulmate marks are where they are.
Lando was at a sponsor's meeting at McLaren. It was the same old same old stuff. Quite boring if someone asked him. Oscar had ditched him to hang out with his soulmate who he was seen laughing along to while Lando sipped on his glass of champagne until a girl caught his attention. She was dressed in a papaya satin dress looking equally as bored as him.
Lando sauntered over to her, to keep himself a little occupied. "Hey" Lando greeted, catching her attention. She looked up and smiled. "Hi" she greeted back, lazily taking a sip of her drink. "Quite drab" Lando commented. "The atmosphere" he continued. "But you look ravishing" he finished. "What? Expecting me to keep your bed warm" she chided. "If you're offering" Lando chuckled. The pair fell into a comfortable banter. Lando had yet to know her name but it wasn't stopping her from putting him in his place. They started to walk around the venue as they commented on the group of snotty rich people and what they must be talking about.
A couple steps from them a waiter was serving drinks to a group of sponsors when he started walking towards them, his eyes on another group, close by. Lando noticed that he was going to miss the girl in papaya dress and bump into her if she didn't move. Before he could think, he pulled her towards him, to avoid the collision. For a formula one driver, he had no hand eye coordination since he missed her waist completely; instead his hands landed on her ass. She sported a shocked expression, a soft burning sensation on her rear. Being caught off guard, she fell forward with her hands landing directly on his chest, Lando could feel a burning sensation, under her palms.
Y/N had always wondered why her soulmate mark was on her ass. She would joke with her friends that maybe he was some pervert. She would later dismiss their concerns too, but those thoughts would nag at her as she wondered what type of man would implant his both palms on a strangers bum, regardless of the fact that they were soulmates. Y/N couldn't wear bikinis or short shorts or anything mini since anyone could see where the marks were. If someone asked, she would lie and say that they were on her waist. Not like they would check.
Lando found it romantic, a little, yet slightly weird. He had two hand prints on his chest, perfectly encapsulating his pectorals. It was embarrassing to be shirtless, since all his friends would make fun of him. Most people would have marks on their hands or legs or face even but Lando Norris had 2 perfectly bright palm prints on his chest, as if they were holding his tits.
Both of them understood why they had those marks where they did. Y/N quickly straightened herself and brushed his hands off her bum. "I always wondered what type of pervert my soulmate was" she voiced. "I'm sorry. But you are no better." he paused, "You were holding my nipples" he pointed out, now covering his chest. "Not my fault. You caught me off guard" Y/N defended herself. "At least ask me on a date before you decide to grope me" Y/N laughed at the preposterous situation. "Hey!" Lando huffed. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you perverted soulmate" she said extending her hand. "Lando. Right back at you" he laughed back, shaking her hand only to pull her in. "I'm allowed to touch that ass when I've already staked my claim" he teased. "Come on dude" she tried to push him away. "Can't be going around calling me dude when I know what that ass feels like" he smirked. "Eww! Can't believe I'm stuck with you" she laughed, pushing him towards a more secluded area. "Why don't you start by showing me that hand print?" she prodded his shirt buttons. "Some one's excited" Lando chuckled, pulling her in. "I don't undress before the first date though" he smirked with his hands firmly on her rear. "Me neither, baby boy" she smirked back, pulling him in by the collar of his shirt for a kiss.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula one fic#formula one x reader#formula one fanfiction#formula one imagine#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#ln4 one shot#ln4 fluff#ln4 fic#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you
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Yandere Batfam - Soulmate Soul Animal Au.
Chapter 7:
Summary: Your escape from Joker doesn't go unnoticed, and you bear the consequences of attracting the attention of the bats.
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6.
----
Burning green blinded him, searing his veins and twisting. His very breath was strained, broken and turning into what he could only describe as boiling rage.
He did the only thing he could do.
Murder the clown.
Strike after strike bore down upon the clownâs heaving body, his guns left behind on the floor, long forgotten. Any little trick up the clown's sleeve was swiftly discarded by Jasonâs primal force.
The clownâs leg was held in his gloved hands, he twisted, pulling and pulling until there was an abrupt snap. The other leg was subject to the whims of his iron toe boots, breaking under the pressure.
He itched and burned to do more, fists turning into a flurry of blows upon the now unconscious clown. The clown could still cry out in pain, and that satisfied him.
Jason kept going, but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough, not until he wrapped his hands around and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and the clown finally popped.
Jason let out a breath, hands forming into an instinctive fist and aimed, until hands wrapped around his arms to pull him back.
He struggled, trying to jab out with his elbow to no avail. A voice interrupted the Green, calling out to him.
âJason! Jason, come on!â The voice called out, demanding and desperate and somehow just enough for him to break through.
âStephâŚ?â He mumbled, regaining focus of the world around him. There was blood on his gloves.. his boots too.Â
The clown as if a train had run him over- several times. Every part of his face was bruised, green, purple and black. His limbs were in no better shape, twisted and broken into pieces that seemed like agony for doctors to put back together.
He didn't envy Jokerâs recovery period.
âShit..â Batgirl muttered, at his side. âBatman won't be happy about this.âÂ
âFuck Batman.â Was his instinctive response.
âIndeed..â She replied. âWell⌠Iâll take him back to Arkham, or actually, to the nearest doctor that wonât try to finish him off. Cass?â
A sudden movement in the shadow (that definitely didn't make Jason jump) revealed Cass, as she walked closer, a golden cage in one of her hands and Jasonâs soul form in the other.
âHurt.â Cass stated, pointing down at his soul form. Jason whistled, looking at the damage.Â
His soul form had always been a durable little thing, no doubt a result of his own upbringing, but this amount of damage was definitely rare. The birdâs wings were twisted, a sign that they were broken, and its breaths were slightly ragged, indicating some internal injuries.
Itâd be alright, ultimately. Soul animals healed much faster than humans, as a result of them being magic.Â
He was mostly just glad he had bond distancing training, feeling those injuries wouldn't be fun at all. There was a dull pain in his back already, no doubt a result of his soul formâs injuries.
He sighed, kicking at the clown a bit as he did so. âWell thatâs a problem.âÂ
âYour soul animal shouldn't be out of the cave Hood, how did it get here?â Batgirl spoke, turning to look at Orphan, as the hero unlocked the cage a bat was glooming in.
âAnd how did Bats get here either? Out of all of us, he's had the best training, his soul animal should know the most about how important it is to our identities for them to not leave.â Batgirl frowned, confusion painted on her face.
Batmanâs soul animal flitted up to rest on Orphanâs shoulder, a vision of silent solitude. Orphan gave it a little scritch on its ears.
Jason paused, considering how to word what he was about to say. The Green had mostly cleared up, but it still fogged him a little, especially as he thought of the scene he witnessed.
âThere was a civilian, Jokerâs victim. Tied to a chair and about to be smashed on the head by a crowbar. My soul animal appeared and took the hit.â He stuck to the facts, they were wasting too much time as is. Damn, if not for the pit rage he could have found them by now!
Batgirl gasped. Orphan shifted a little. âWait, do you think..?â Batgirl struggled to voice the question, knowing how much it meant to them all.
âYes.â Jason answered, blunt. âThat was our soulmate.â
Abrupt movement from the window interrupted their shock, as Red Robin swooped in with a brisk move.Â
âHey.â Red Robin called out, taking in their depressed faces. He paused. âWhat happened?â
â-
You were not having a good night. Your head hurt, your feet ached, and you would basically give anything at this point to get back home and collapse on your bed. Nothing had gone the way you had hoped for. In fact, it was now the absolute worst case scenario, other than being dead.
Now you have been exposed to two of your soulmates, potentially all of them now if they were feeling like sharing that information.
Oh and of course, you couldn't forget the Joker. Your newly acquired head injury certainly wouldn't be forgetting about it anytime soon.
You groaned, the world before you turning into brief spinning fuzz, as you trudged on.Â
âWhy meâŚâ You muttered, narrowly avoiding stepping in some rain water. You walked through an alleyway, vaguely guessing the direction of your house. In all honesty, you had barely the slightest inkling of where you were at this point, but you had to try.
The shadows behind you stirred, and you whipped around, making eye contact with one of your worst nightmares. Nightwing.
You shifted backwards, aiming to run away, but he caught onto the fleeing posture of your stance.
âHey! Hey, calm down.â He spoke reassuringly, as if he was talking to a scared citizen. âI'm not going to hurt you. The inmates of Arkham Asylum have broken out, and it's not safe to be roaming the streets right now.â
He smiled, a charming little gesture, and held a hand out to you. âI can take you home, you'll be safer indoors.â
You shook your head, words failing to escape in your fear of this new problem.
He frowned. âIâm sorry but, I'm going to have to insist. It's really not safe. Iâd hate for you to get hurt.â He perked up a little as he spoke the next few words. âAre you injured? I know someone who can help, her name is Leslie, she's a very safe doctor. Or if you don't have anywhere to go, I can escort you to a safe place?â
You shook your head desperately. You wanted nothing more than to get away. Your legs were shaking.
Any further time spent in the presence of your soulmates was a risk. At any point one of them could tell him and you'd be doomed. Hell, he might already know! Â
âI⌠I want to leave.â The words tumbled out, clumsy. âBut not with you.â
The smile stayed on his face this time, plastered on. âIt wonât be an inconvenience-â He tried.
âPlease leave me alone.â
âIt's really unsaf-â.
âPlease leave me alone.â
âIt will only take five-â.
âI said LEAVE ME ALONE!â You screamed, frustration and agony eclipsing into a fearful shout. You regretted it immediately, as it echoed through the streets. Tears welled up in your eyes. Your breath ran short.
Nightwing stood there, finally looking unsure. A part of you reveled in it, finally seeing how you always felt around them reflected on their form.
A fluttering sound broke the uncomfortable silence, a little robin flying down onto Nightwingâs shoulder.
âRobin..?â He muttered, more to himself than you. âWhy are you here?â.
You meant to take the opportunity for what it was, to turn and run while you had the chance, but beady eyes turned towards you at the first movement you made.
Robin fluttered towards you, landing on your trembling hand. It gave a little coo, tilting its head a bit to stare at you. It seemed like it noticed your anxiety. It was admittedly a very cute gesture, something that acted like a balm to your scratched and raw mental state, but it didn't last for long.
âWaitâŚâ.Â
Your blood froze in your veins. Everything stopped.
âAre⌠are youâŚ?â
You couldn't respond to his question. Your head spun, an undercurrent of anxiety questioning every option you could make. Your shakes increased. It was noticeable.
âAh, hey!â It seemed he spotted it. âDonât worry so much, I know you're so terrified because of what's going on, but now I know I can keep you safe.â His hands grabbed yours, a constricting grip. You tried to take a step back, but he kept you there, not budging from his grasp. Robin shifted a little in displeasure.
âWe⌠can keep you safe.â His eyes beamed into yours, trying to convey a feeling of safety, of reassurance.
You were numb to everything but terror.
âI've told you this once.â You muttered. âAnd I didn't want to say it again.â You ripped his hands from yours, pushing him away. You grabbed Robin.
âJUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!â You screamed, primal agony laced in your tone, your last efforts giving out.
Then, in a moment of desperation, you grabbed Robin, your littlest soul animal. And you threw him at Nightwingâs face.
His startled scream was music to your ears, as you raced out of the alleyway and down the street. If you were lucky, maybe Robin would be startled enough to give him a few scratches.
Things were finally, finally looking up. It had taken a lot. Gosh, it has taken so much from you. You couldn't go home anymore, both vigilante and villain now knew your name, but at the very leastâŚ
You could escape.
It was a mantra you chanted to yourself.
âI can escape. I can escape. I can escape.â
It remained in your brain as you ducked under windows and hid behind cars.
I can escape I can escape I can escape.
A slip of blue in the shadows was your only warning, before cruel pain pierced your arm.Â
âAck!â You clutched at it, noticing what could only be a dart now embedded in you. You ripped it out as you ran, hoping that would be it.
IcanescapeIcanescapeIcanescape-
The world started falling to pieces before your very eyes, a black void stealing the places of buildings, cars, wherever you looked.
Your rush turned into a stumble.
Escape-escape-escape-
You were limping through an alleyway when your limbs finally gave up on you. The adrenaline finally losing to the tranquiliser.
âEscapeâŚâ You mumbled.
You glanced up.
A dark shadow was the only thing you could see. A giant figure, clad in a long cape.
A resentful part of you thought that the cape would be a rather warm thing to snuggle up to.
A hand reached out from the darkness.
You passed out.
----
Happy Halloween!!
Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Actually, there won't be too many chapters left now, we're coming to the end of Reader's struggle. Ofc, I will be going extra's that aren't actual chapters, and they'll have some extra details that are excluded from Reader's pov.
Also, I definitely have to apologise for how long this one took. I do have my reasons! Had an ear infection, then a holiday (that was pretty neat actually) and currently I have COVID lol. So I was a bit busy there.
But Halloween deserves to be celebrated just as much as everyone deserves another chapter, so here you go!
It is a bit of a shame I won't be able to make an actual Halloween piece. Maybe I'll make something a few days after Halloween? How do people feel about a coraline inspired DC oneshot?
Taglist: @moonchild-artemisdaughter @jjsmeowthie @madine11-blog @xxrougefangxx @hadesnewpersephone @neerathebrightstar @mel-star636 @jaythes1mp @rosecentury @lov3vivian @gaozorous-rex-blog @victoria1676 @vrsin @silverklaus @ryukyuin @kurai-hono-blog @thisisafish123 @isawyourbrowserhistory @ain-t-no-way-bsfr @realifezompire @lunaluz432 @nickey-diano @sukiiluvs @sara0055 @alleakimlala @kdidgg @paperhermits @alishii @emmbny @sirenetheblogger @fantasy-angelo @andrasia @vinnvinnvintage @nyra-42 @armystaysatnct @beyond-your-stars @starsdotalk @adeptusxia0 @jailbimbo @yandereheros @sxftiebee @i-have-three-feelings @toast-on-dandelioms @lyl-3 @sitepathos @pato-spoiler-27 @ghostdoodlen @phoenixgurl030 @problematicreblogger
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Tumblr just told me I can't tag anyone else, so the list ends here. I'll add the others in a comment!
#yandere#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#soul animal au#yandere batfamily#yandere robin#my writing#darkstaria#yandere red hood#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere red robin#yandere nightwing#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne
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