#did you guys know I rendered this on ONE layer. ONE

[tv1xx]

*pops in awkwardly*

Oh hi! It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Here’s battle beast!

So a little more info on where i’ve been….Hi! I’m so sorry I haven’t been as active on Tumblr. I’ve been dealing with life and college :P and unfortunately life is kicking my butt right now. Along with art block. Art block has been HARD. But I’m slowly learning more rendering methods and drawing more stuff. I’m hopeful to start posting more! (no promises tho…) Anyways. Enough of me rambling haha….

[py-dreamer]

Macaque is big spoon

Lol the old men be snoozin and snugglin

(I was about to say sleeping but my mind is too dirty for that unfortunately-)

Y'wanna know why he big spoon?

The sun and moon thingy they have going on and...

Ehh, ehh? Y'see what I did there?

I hate fabric so god damn much.

WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE AND STAY STILL GODDAMN.

WHY MUST YOU CREASE AND HAVE LAYERS?!!? WHY CAN'T YOU BE SIMPLE AND FLAT

SAME WITH MACACA'S FUR.

WHY ARE YOU BLACK?!! HOW DO I RENDER YOU

TO QUOTE MY PAST SELF: "his true evil power is how hard he can be to draw"

LIKE MY DUDE. HOWWWWW.

Regardless, I'm still really happy with how the drawing came out like the lighting and stuff (just don't look at the fabric-)

Wukong couldn't give less than a flying f*ck if his pajamas matched. Like he's at home, let him be as much of a fashion disaster as he wants!

Heck, back in his day, he was prancing with a leaf skirt and that was acceptable, let the monkey be damnit.

But he would own something very funky like those peach shorts but specifically wear them on break days or in private

(Mac definitely made an inappropriate joke bout it; he has a mark you could read the king's fortune off of, on his right cheek-)

Mac loves his clouds cloudy king so sure, slap them on his pants I think he'd have those long fluffy or silky pajama pants and he like has a couple he switches out for every now and them.

Wukong struck me as a big shirt, short shorts guy

and Mac'doodles as a small shirt, big pants

On a more angsty note, after death I think he'd be a lot colder like its harder to generate body heat naturally so he'd be a lot more cuddly with his toasted marshmallow king cause he was literally toasty fried for 49 days in heaven (49 earth years if 1 year in heaven is a year belief is true)

I was really debating if they'd be in a tree like normal monkeys or in the stone palace cause like that's a whole thing.

Wukong is not only a king in name, he's got riches and a whole ass stone mansion, I want my boi to one day overcome his guilt and indesire for self care and move into the big boi house with his husbando...one day.

But until then, a girl can dream.

Cause come on, that'd be cool. I understand it'd feel real lonely without the stalwart generals and brotherhood but like he has new company and rekindling with his warrior might help with that.

I also think they'd rather sleep in a cozy lil alclove or like the beds in historical c-dramas that are kinda built in and they build a mini nest of sorts.

I was going to draw the monkeys but tbh, just wasn't feelin it...

Also wanted their tails to make a heart but the lil pointy bit always bugs me so I tried to make it into a more plausible scenario

And irl updates, I have been like formally rehearsing for a performance all week (as in a play) and practicing all day, just watched the 1st cast do it and its my turn tomorrow so wish me luck!

(btw I'm working with young kids, like 8-12 young and they all congregated around me when they saw me drawing like I was a glorified babysitter

And the amount of times I had to put the message on Mac's shirt on a different layer and hide it like bruh. The kids are lovely and all and I'd be happy to show my work but as you can see...not all of my works are...100% PG)

(pls reblog and feedback and stuff, I worked hard on this plss I beg...)

[vampiriccreature]

Dmc 3 Dantes design is AMAZING in a storytelling aspect but does NOT work outside of dmc3 AND I’M SICK OF SEEING IT USED IN CROSSOVER MEDIAS !!!!!!

Long ass yap under cut

Dante has always been one for over the top outfits and designs. In the dmc1 novel one of the first sentences is talking about how Dante is flamboyant. At the end of dmc3 we see he has his dmc1 outfit on with all the layers and vest and everything. NOT shirtless.

At the start of dmc3 bro was getting out of the shower, like you hear the water and the shower faucet. You see the water droplets and steam coming off of Dante. And when he answers the phone he says the shop isn’t open yet. Dude was having a lazy day.

Dante did not have time to put on a shirt, he wasn’t planning on going out anywhere or doing anything, he was just eating pizza and chilling. I see SO MANY people (including cannon media like the dmc3 manga) just assume he regularly does not wear a shirt…. like he does! he just didn’t have time to put one on before Arkhams bitchass showed up with his demons.

Don’t even get me started on those pants…. light brown has never been a part of Dante’s color scheme so light brown pants definitely seem weird right? Also he had no belt despite clearly needing one.

Like look at this render, you can see how far his hip is from his pants. He probably just threw on some old pair without thinking about it. And with no belt too, every other version of Dante has at LEAST one belt. So seeing Dante in light brown pants, alone with no belt is definitely strange.

Yet it WORKS SO WELL for the overall design in 3. Reducing the amount of black in his color scheme to better focus on the red and establish him as a much lighter character compared to Vergil ties in perfectly with the dark reflection trope Vergil and Dante play into.

The most iconic thing about Dantes design has always been that red coat. No argument there. So taking away the rest of Dantes more extravagant parts of his design to better focus on the coat is perfect especially for dmc3. Another thing that ties back into the dark reflection trope of Dantes and Vergil is that cutting down on Dantes design makes Vergil and Dantes personalities reflect in their designs so much more. Vergil is very well kept, with a much more complicated outfit and slicked back hair. So Dante being the opposite of that with a lack of shirt, pants that don’t match, no belt, etc. (while still being flamboyant with that red coat) shows their differences in maturity.

You look at this guy and you KNOW he put so much time and effort into his look. He exudes elegance and effort. Meanwhile Dante’s just thrown on a coat and called it a day.

My point is. This design is great for the storytelling aspect of dmc3 as well as the symbolism and metaphors in dmc3. However, we know Dante doesn’t usually dress like this. He wears shirts. So I get personally annoyed when I see Dante portrayed as that one dude who never wears a shirt. I head cannon that around the shop when he has nothing planned he won’t wear a shirt (saves money on the water bill cuz less laundry) but if he plans to go out or have the shop open or whatever, he’s putting on the full fit. Shirt, belt, coat, and plenty of other accessories.

Also here’s the second paragraph from the dmc1 novel cuz I just love how he’s described not only as flamboyant but also adorned with a lot of jewelry:

[bryce-bucher]

Basidia Post #4

Vintage CGI:

Modus Interactive and I have been spending the last week or so learning how to use Alias Power Animator 9 which is essentially an old version of maya. It was used on sgi workstations back in the day on games like ff7 and mario64 for all the pre-rendered stuff. For a long time Modus and I have been pretty invested in learning how to replicate the look of old pre-rendered stuff, and, as it turns out, the best way was just to do it how they did it. For so long I tried to wrap my head around how old cgi stuff was modeled because the sorts of shapes that were often created seemed like they'd be unnecessarily hard to create with polygons. The thing that specifically stumped me for a while was how they handled wrinkles in clothing and organic shapes. As it turns out, the answer was hidden right under my nose the whole time. They weren't using polygons at all! Instead they were modeling with NURBS! It seems very obvious in hindsight, but I feel like I deleted the memory of NURBS once I exited highschool, and nobody ever seems to talk about or use them these days. If you don't know what they are, it's basically a style of modeling that involves making a bunch of bezier curves and using them to define surfaces. It's a totally different style of modeling from polygons with a lot of pros and cons, but it achieves that smooth look we're after extremely well.

Scout Rifle Render:

As shown in the pics above, I decided to make a model of the scout rifle in Basidia so that we could use it for an item icon. The process was definitely a learning experience, and one of the things I learned is that modeling like this is super fun. It's like creating each shape is a puzzle where you need to theorize what is the best approach to take, and following through is always a multi-step process of defining a surface and slicing it up. I find it super satisfying to pull off, and making slapping materials on it is always fun as well. Moving forward we are probably gonna use this program and/or older versions of maya to create any pre-rendered item icons or backgrounds that we'll be needing. Modus actually made new versions of the vials in it as well which I will put right here \/

Wow there it is would u look at that. Power Animator just has an amazing way of outputting some unique, rich colors that are hard to get in modern software. I mean, just look at that cork. How do you make a cork have such interesting colors? Amazing. Fuck it, I'm gonna show off a little guy I made in power animator that has nothing to do with Basidia. I've been hyperfixating on this program since I downloaded it so I owe this to myself.

Here he is! Power animator has this amazing glow effect you can put on any shader that adds this bloom as a post processing layer. I used it on the head in this one, and I think it achieves a particular dreamlike effect really well. The sorts of shapes I can get for cloth out of NURBS is also super fun and rewarding, as shown with the cape here. Character modeling is something I'm always really excited about, and I'll definitely be modeling some Basidia characters in this thing.

Conclusion:

I am loving this program and I cannot stop thinking about it. Anyway, I have some commissions to take care of before switching back to midwest lost development, so I may or may not be posting about that game next week. I'm trying to buy an old sgi workstation with the commission money, and, if I can pull that off, then I will have access to all the old software they used back then (including the IRIX version of poweranimator). If you want to check out power animator yourself then here is a link to the program, and here is a helpful tutorial. Oke bye take care!

[enzenwriting]

the feeling when

03 for shits and giggles (0.6kwords)

You couldn't help but shake out the nerves once again. Steadying your own heartbeat, you release a long breath. You should have been used to it by now. Having met your group members months ago, TXT a day ago and NewJeans an hour ago. Nonetheless, here you are easing your stiff smile, preparing to meet another group. "Why do you look so nervous? These guys aren't scary trust me."

"Chaewon, I have to look friendly okay?" you replied quickly.

"You mean normal?" earning a side eye from you, her chuckle was short-lived. "Okay but what would looking friendly even do?" she raised her brow at your questionable logic.

"Make me seem likeable at least? " Chaewon's lips parted, about to comment at your words when you hear commotions outside the door. Your attention falls on the increasing sounds until the door is opening, revealing three males. You think you know which group they belong in, but you were never into boy groups to confidently name them.

"It's you guys huh" Chaewon's voice brings you back to earth

"You're not new!" The shorter male quickly snorts back

"It's not me, smart ass." Chaewon scoffs. She takes your hand and pulls you closer. "It's her. This is y/n"

"Well, nice to meet you y/n. I'm Jungwon. Enhypen's leader" Jungwon reach out his hands which you shook. "If you ever need a better leader for advice, always look for me"

"I'll spray you with water you cat boy" You hear Chaewon behind you, making you laugh

"I'm Sunoo!" the other boy beams. You already feel at ease with how friendly they were. With the weight slipping off your shoulder, you turn to the quiet blonde. Undifferenced by his silence, he's stood unmoving. Unsure of how you approach the blonde, you let yourself think about it while studying his face. He was good looking, really good looking. Your thinking must've been too long when you see the heat rising from his cheeks and a quick nibble on his bottom lip.

"Are you okay" Sunoo laughs, tapping the older boy’s arm

Jake was not okay.

The moment he stepped into the practice room and briefly met eye with you who was a few steps away from him, with a glint of sparkle in your eyes and a smile seemingly crafted yet effortlessly so captivating — he was breathless. Jake didn’t know your name or what you sounded like even but just staring at your pretty face was enough for him to be rendered speechless throughout your interaction with the younger boys.

“Hi?” You gently smiled, making his heart race

Jake tried his ultimate best to stare into your eyes even though it was incredibly intimidating to do so at that moment, “Hi.”

"I'm Y/N" You squeaked at the sight of him, his cute tinted cheeks and puffy lips looking so adorable.

"I'm uh- no my...Jake" Silence fills the room. Did he just forget his name?

One moment, he’s standing in front of you, next to Jungwon and Sunoo. Half a second later, he’s turning out of the door with great urgency.

Jungwon blinks, mouth parted in confusion but no sound leaves. It takes him a minute to absorb the situation at hand. Finally, mouthing, “What the fuck was that?”

The confusion one floor and two hallways away was no better. A hand over his pounding heart, Jake could feel the irregular heartbeat through the thick layer of his jumper. Jake is suddenly aware of his burning neck and ears from the encounter. There’s an exhilarating feeling in his guts, butterflies swarming in his stomach. He can vaguely hear Jungwon call his name in the background as he exits the room.

What was happening?!

03 for shits and giggles

Summary: Joining an already debuted group, you find yourself at the centre of attention, controversy and a series of unfortunate chaotic events every time a certain pup boy is in the sight. But Jake Sim can’t seem to stop following you?!

prev / mlist / next

an: sorry for long time no update!! I’m back to schedule now but I hope you all enjoy this chapter!!🤭 (not proof read)

Taglist! (Open! Please send ask to be join!🫶) @ineedaherosavemeenow @bubblytaetae @woneulz @kyuupidwrites @hoonvrs @nvmbheart @seungcheolswife @mika-t3t @theskzvibe @j-wyoung @haechansbbg @chaerybae @nujins @mimikittysblog @phenomenalgirl9 (unable to tag in bold! Please check your blog settings!💖)

[pawseds]

My writing project @sparrow-flight has finally taken off!!! I was meant to finish/post this and launch the project 2 days ago to celebrate Hrodwyn's birthday (they've existed for a year now!), but even if I didn't make that, it's still exactly a year since I first painted them. Expecting myself to finish a painting with 4 characters with a technique I've only used once in my life a year ago in 4 days was kinda uhhhhhhhh.......... clown. (It took 5 and a half days)

Some symbolism stuff:

I intentionally wanted a very blue and desaturated colour scheme because, despite the happy/wholesome family scene, I didn't want it to feel happy -- i wanted a layer of sadness to it. Cuz that's the birdfam in a nutshell, little everyday happiness strung together with an unspoken grief that runs deep

The sparrow Gavrill's looking at is/represents Leyna, his wife :) and the other 4 are the children the two have lost (Leyna has the adult white crowned sparrow plumage, but the rest have juvenille plumage since they all died as kids) (the gambelii subspecies btw!!)

Gavrill looks directly at a ghost sparrow/notices it because, unlike his kids who ignore it/can't see it, he's the only one left in the family who witnessed all 5 deaths and has intense trauma + grief directly from it

The kids (left to right Hrodwyn, Hygd, Merethel) keep looking forward and up because, unlike Gavrill, theyre capable and willing to grow from grief/trauma

Process shots are the rough sketch (drawn while zoomed out so it's tiny), the normal sketch (I didn't mean for it to be that neat lol) + underpainting, and everything else I painted on top of the underpainting on one layer. I did keep a duplicate of a sketch for reference + just in case, like when I did the clown thing of not painting the background first before merging the sketch layer.

You can see me strugging with Hrodwyn since they're the first guy I painted and, again, I'm very new to this painting style so I didn't even know how to execute it LOL they're rendered kinda differently from the rest but if you squint, it's close enough...

[ketthlith]

Ohh that Raph and Don post is so good!! How did you render it so well?

FIRST OF ALL! OMG THANK YOU SM! 💜

Second of all, I’m so sorry for the late answer I’ve been on finals these weeks and college takes all of my free time.

And third! I have like two answers for this, I’m not sure which one will help with your question the most but I’ll try! And if you want to know anything else, feel free to ask! I'll be happy to help 💜 (I will post another answer with what I can show you of my process of this specific drawing, I will say sorry in advance tho, since is a “here’s the sketch and then the details!” And you see the finished drawing kind of thing, but there’s no wrong in posting it anyways!)

Ok so, I usually follow the same thing with every drawing I make, and I don’t use a lot of layers either (like 3 or 4?) but I tried to like, separate my process the best I could.

With the grass I started with a base color , the lightest green I thought would work? Considering the darkest one I would use, since I didn’t want it to clash with Donnie's and Raph's green (I struggled with the greens a LOT)

And then I added the tiny details <33

Now, same goes with the turtles, I start with the base colour and then I shade, to then add the BRIGHTEST SHADE OF THE COLOR I CAN THINK OF (I also use the darkest shade of the color I can think of to make a really cool contrast)

I added a tiny Dee reference because is what has helped me to figure out how to render these silly guys, everything I do, revolves around the way the 2012 models do the highlights and shadows

And here’s a comparison of all the greens I used, yes I know Raph's look similar, I promise they are not!

And that’s kind of it really, hope this helps!

[bobbybutterfly]

About Vixen?

So you want Lieutenant Vixen? I’ve got Lieutenant Vixen. And not only one. But TWO!

Oh yeah! We got the show female fox and the manwa male fox!

I tried to render this piece more. I think the clouds turned out better than the characters. The hard round MAX OPACITY brush really did wonders for my art. But it’s time to introduce softer gradients. I got to constantly innovate after all. I first drew the characters with the hard round MAX OPACITY brush. I found their uniforms a bit too monotone. So I added some red to them with a very textured brush. Not the best idea. You can still see some of it on the female fox’s butt. I would have removed it but… I merged the layers and I couldn’t reverse it. Whoops.

Life goes on. So I used the airbrush to smooth out the texture. It preserves the original brush strokes while making everything more united. I learned that from working on a piece inspired by Leonardo Da Vinci. I think the best turned out the male fox. For the female fox I used a little too much airbrush. Soft brushes are really hard to master.

I could ramble more about the art process. I think it’s something really important to document and share. But now I want to get to what I think of Lt. Vixen.

At first I was kind of annoyed at her popularity. Men being unable to see a female character and not sexualize her challenge. But then I watched the episodes she was in and I was like OH. As a pansexual I was HOOKED! Special shout out to her voice actress Lim Um-Young. The whole show is bizarrely horny for puritanical North Korean standards. Looking at you mice maids. If you want to learn more watch Paper Will’s video on North Korean entertainment. It’s great.

She is also definitely one of the best characters. A true girl boss. So sad they didn’t make any more episodes. So much lost potential.

Her male counterpart… I haven’t read the manwa because I know like three words in Korean. So all I can say is that I like his character design. Both of their character designs are great. I imagine he’s probably your general evil angry guy. The stories are generally focused more on plot than character. And that’s alright. All the more room for head cannons!

I don’t include the wolf army in my AU because they’re a little too modern for my taste. I like to keep things early 20th century vibe you know. Also by the time I got around to season 2 the first time I was already kind of burned out. But here are my ideas.

At first I thought Lt. Vixen could be trans. But I didn’t have much ideas on what to do from there. So I thought why can’t there be more than one fox? Specifically the manwa fox could be her twin brother!

The two of them grew up in a shitty orphanage. They were their only family and they HATED each other. I got to give them names. Vixen is the female fox and…I dunno Bob is the male fox. It’s just so you don’t get confused while reading. The hard life in the orphanage made Bob more empathetic and inward focused (he writes sad gay poetry trademark). Meanwhile Vixen lost all her empathy and her range of emotions is very shallow. I like the creepy idea that she just doesn’t have a soul poetically speaking. She bullied Bob their whole childhood. Bob feels weak and like he can’t do anything without his sister. Even though he views her as the embodiment of evil.

The only way they would become anything more than poor factory workers was by joining the military. Both of them earn their ranks by seducing their hireups. Even though Bob hates being in the military and would love to just go be sad and gay somewhere else, for the first time he feels like he can be something without his sister. When he starts to earn his ranks faster than Vixen she does not like it. And she murders him!

Oh my goodness! This post been going on for ages. I haven’t even gotten into my ideas for Lt. Vixen X Geumseagi and how Bob plays into it all! Send me another ask if you want to see that.

[electricopolis-net]

S03E02: Sparker Reborn (Part 1)

1. A Brand New Bob

Six months into Bob Sparker's suspension...

"Mr. King!"

Percy looked up from where he was sitting at his desk, intently studying a report. It took him a moment to even recognize the voice--he hadn't heard the caw of his ex-number one primetime earner for at least six months.

"Bob?" He said, blinking. "What are you doing here?"

Bob Sparker looked just as taken aback as Percy was. "Well--I mean--" he sputtered. He was holding what looked like a large easel, with something wrapped in canvas tucked under one arm, and he began to busily set it up. "You said I could come to you if I needed anything, right?"

Percy searched his mind. Yes, he thought, I probably did say that at one point. "Of course," he replied. "But I'm actually rather busy at the--"

"This'll take two seconds, I promise!" Bob set up the easel and propped the cloth-wrapped object on it. "I have great news for you, boss. Just great."

With a flourish he drew the cloth off of the canvas. Upon it was a brilliantly rendered oil painting of a dark mountain, looking much like the kind found in the range that ringed Electric Valley. Behind the mountain was a halo of light in flourishing reds, yellows and pinks. It took a long moment for Percy to process that what he was seeing was a sunrise.

"And this is...?" he ventured.

"This," Bob proclaimed, patting the canvas affectionately, "is the future. My future." He drew in a breath. "Mr. King, I'm leaving the company."

Percy stopped, considered this, and laced his fingers together. "To become an artist?"

"Oh, no!" Bob laughed. "No, no, I got this from Alice Lang. She's doing great, by the way, thanks for helping her out. No, this is gonna be the guiding star for my new television network!"

The room was silent for a moment. "Your...excuse me?" Percy said, tilting his head. "Your what now?"

"My new television network," Bob repeated, puffing his chest out with pride. "It's gonna be something new, something completely different. One with humanity, where we bring people up instead of running 'em through a meat grinder. No offense," he added quickly. "I did like being the meat grinder guy."

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up a moment." Percy sat back, rubbing his temples with one hand and tapping his pen on the desk with the other. "So you're leaving the company...and founding a television network all by yourself?"

"Not by myself, no." Bob's smile grew wider. "Jam's coming with me. He's gonna be my talent scout. He knows everything about everything when it comes to up-and-coming artists and musicians! Margaret's helping, too, when she's able to, plus she's footing the bill. And Miss Lang is going to be our first profile. Best of all, it'll be free!"

"Free?" Percy repeated. "How on earth--"

Bob pulled out a small notebook and flipped through it. "Public television," he explained. "If we can get approval from the municipal government, the whole thing'll be funded by taxpayers. Television by the people, for the people," he announced, beaming with pride.

Percy sat back in his swivel chair, crossing one leg over the other. "Public television? Please," he scoffed. "Bob, you're far too good for that. Give it six more months and I'll have you back on the air. The producers at Zap! Entertainment actually sent me a pitch this morning," he remarked, turning his attention back to the layers of documents on his desk. "Something about 'a hundred contestants enter, one leaves...'"

"Mr. King."

Percy looked up. Bob stood in front of him, his hands clasped nervously together. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me," he said. "Really, I...I do. But this is something I have to do. For myself, and for Electricopolis."

"Then what do you need me for? It sounds as if you have everything all planned out."

"Well, to kick off our programming, we were thinking of throwing a festival," Bob ventured carefully. "A celebration of art and artisans from across the city, that kind of thing. We would provide space and lighting, of course. And we could have an Electric Park at the end of it all, a huge light show right in the middle of the top tier!" he explained, slowly becoming more and more animated. "I was hoping, you know, as a going-away present--that you might sign off on it, that's all. It might be kind of hefty on the power bill."

Percy considered this. "I suppose I'll...see what I can do."

"Thanks so much, Mr. King!" Bob grabbed Percy's hand in his own and pumped it gratefully. "You've always believed in me, even when nobody else did--and I hope to make you proud!"

Percy blinked again, stared at him, almost baffled--and then his face settled back into his trademark wan smile. "Of course," he said soothingly. "Of course."

Bob wrapped up his painting and practically skipped out the door, leaving Percy in his office, alone, with a throbbing headache. He turned away towards the window, leaving the half-read report on the town's energy crisis lying on top of his desk.

The city was far underneath him, the clouds not so high above. The Top Tier CEO's office was at the very summit of the town, just about--the only thing taller was the broadcast tower. This town was his, and for the longest time it had ticked along in perfect harmony with itself, every part an integral member of a well-oiled machine.

Every schoolchild knew the history of the town, though perhaps not all of it. Electricopolis was founded centuries ago after a colossal meteorite had landed in the middle of a mountain range. Though difficult to get to from the outside world, the area proved to now be full of precious hydrocarbons that could be extracted and processed into fuel. A mad rush for the territory began, during which various countries--and corporations--launched expedition after expedition to access the valley.

Many of the expeditions failed. But one particular company succeeded in seizing the territory, and began to construct a city for the purpose of exporting the hydrocarbon fuel. But when the colony proved to become rich enough to buy out its parent corporation, the city became truly self-sufficient: fresh water was created from the hydrogen molecules below and the oxygen in the air, and some of the simpler hydrocarbons turned into nitrate-rich fertilizers for the city's hydroponic farms. In short, everything they needed was here.

And so the outside world became nothing but a distraction. Centuries on, Electricopolis had cut off all ties with the outside and turned inward, focusing only on itself, concerned only with itself. But there were only so many resources left below the surface of the earth. And every day the fuel was running lower, and the brownouts became longer and longer...

Percy drummed his fingers against his desktop.

Surely there was a way to kill two birds with one stone.

[forjongseong]

ambulancia // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (Part 8 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; BTS (ot7) makes an appearance; making out; oral sex; unprotected sex; creampie. // wc: ~9.7k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 -la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: tension arises as you experience yet another encounter with your ex. Jay, your beloved boyfriend, reminds you who you belong to by treating you so well, in sickness and in health.

author’s notes: welcome to PART EIGHT! I would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who have come so far, and WELCOME to new readers!!

I know it's Jake's birthday but since I don't write for him, please settle for his screentime here (he appears twice! surprise) LOL

the song chosen for the title of this part is again by Camilo, who is my ult Colombian singer at this point. in this song he features the queen Camila Cabello too!

and now, for the lyrics:

You have me sick, I think I need a doctor My dependency on you is no longer comical I want to know what your genetics have My world spins around you, you're magnetic And how could it not?

I mean.... right????

oh by the way, the look I am referring to in the very last scene is this:

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @nyanggk @end-hyphen @jayked @yoursjaeyun @maggstar

(those who have not been interacting with the series have been removed from the taglist. send in an ask if you want to stay in it.)

You checked your reflection in the mirror of the elevator. Since it was casual Friday, you opted for a loose, long-sleeved button-down paired with a denim skirt, and a pair of knee-high boots to complete your look. When you were picking your outfit, Jay mentioned how you looked like a K-Pop idol, and to make sure you did not appear too young, you brushed up your hair to a high ponytail instead of letting your bangs and hair down as usual.

Jay opted for a preppy vest to layer over his shirt, but he stuck to his normal dress pants and shoes to keep it semiformal. When he noticed how you look standing next to each other, he thought it felt like it was bring your girlfriend to work day. The elevator dinged and Jay stepped out with you, his hand placed on the small of your back.

Your team scheduled a meeting with you since two days ago, claiming that they had an important presentation to show you regarding one of the projects. Your schedule for the morning was cleared except for this one meeting, so you expected them to be ready once you arrived. However, when you entered the meeting room, you saw only two people at the desk and they both apologized at you repeatedly, saying that the presentation was not ready because they were still editing or rendering the final cut of the video they were supposed to show you.

“Are you serious?” You responded after Theo explained everything to you.

Theo was looking at the floor, afraid of saying something stupid, so Jiung stepped up to answer you. “We just need another 20 minutes, Miss. We’re so sorry about this.”

You looked around and noticed that the snacks in the minibar and the packets of coffee and tea needed to be refilled. You then diverted your attention back to your two employees.

“I confirmed last night that I should be here at 11AM, and now you’re making me wait? Are you aware that I could be using this time to do something else?”

Jiung was now too scared to speak too, and Jay cleared his throat before stepping in between you and them.

“The boss will be waiting in her office,” Jay said, taking back the iPad you set on the table with his hands. “Twenty minutes, guys.”

You stormed off without hearing a reply, while Jay took his phone out and set a timer. Jiung and Theo apologized to him and thanked him before he left and headed to your office. You were already inside, and he gave Hwiyoung a quick nod before knocking once on your door and letting himself in. Jay typed something on his phone before he set it down on your coffee table along with the iPad he was carrying.

“Can you believe them?” You asked, not actually waiting for an answer. “I hate it when people make me wait.”

“I know,” Jay sat on the sofa and stretched his arm. “But it has never happened before, and I’m sure they already feel horrible.”

“What am I supposed to do for the next 18 minutes?” You glanced at the time on your computer screen. Your schedule was always planned down to the minute, so if one gets delayed you did not really have the option to move something else up. And right now, you did not have any work to catch up to, or anything else to do in advance.

“It’s Friday, Boss,” Jay smiled as he shifted his position to look at you. “Just relax a bit.”

You did notice you were feeling a little too tense, so when you walked over to his seat you softened your gaze. “You look relaxed,” you said to Jay as you stood in front of him.

He reached out for your hand and tugged you, making you sit on his lap sideways. You instinctively nuzzled into his neck as he chuckled, caressing your thigh with one hand and rubbing your back with the other.

“We have enough time, you know.” Jay’s voice was deep and low, and you could feel the vibration from how close you were leaning into him.

“Hmm,” you hummed, cupping his face in one hand but still burying your face in his neck. “For what?”

“Anything you want.” Jay tightened his grip around your thigh and your breath hitched.

You pulled away from his neck and made him look at you. “I want a kiss.”

Jay smiled, stretching his neck to peck your lips. You pouted, still caressing his face with your hand.

“Kiss me harder,” you said.

With his arm firm around your waist, he dipped you to the side and kissed you hard, as you requested. You chuckled and smiled into the kiss, letting his lips dance with yours as you latched both your arms around his neck. His hand on your thigh moved to stay between your legs, and as he deepened the kiss, his hand started to move dangerously closer to your core.

You moaned when his fingers grazed your clit through your underwear. “Hands off,” you whispered before you continued kissing him back.

“God,” Jay replied, breathless and into your mouth. “You feel so soft.”

You whined and let him nibble on your lips. The sloppy sounds you two were making sent you to overdrive. You pushed him back so he was leaning on the sofa and quickly straddled him, pulling your skirt up so you can spread your legs better.

“We should have stayed in bed longer,” you said softly, leaving his lips to trail kisses along his jawline. “I would have made you kiss me everywhere.”

Jay closed his eyes and rested his hands on your waist as he let you kiss his face. You did not even care about the lipstick marks that were already staining his cheeks and his chin. He smiled throughout the whole process, even chuckling when he felt like your lips were tickling him.

“We still have time,” Jay muttered. He glanced at his watch quickly before looking back at you.

You shook your head but at the same time grinded your hips against his. He stifled a groan, throwing his head back when he felt his erection brush against your core. In a rush, his hand made his way under your skirt. Within seconds, his fingers were tugging your panties to the side, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Please,” Jay breathed. “Let me touch you.”

You shook your head. “One taste and that’s all. That’s what you get for rushing me earlier, thinking that we’re gonna be late.”

You smirked and cupped his face, kissing him again. He moaned into your mouth and drew a line with his finger along your slit. You whimpered, trying not to collapse on him as he pulled his hand away from you. You stopped kissing him and sat back on his lap, only to see him put his finger in his mouth, the very finger that was already tainted with your arousal.

He sucked on his finger like it was a lollipop and closed his eyes, almost as if he was memorizing your taste. When he opened his eyes again, his pupils were dilated and his gaze on you was full of lust.

“Unbuckle my pants. Please,” Jay begged. You chuckled and brushed his hair back, touching your forehead to his. “Please, Boss, let me put it in.”

“Why would I do that?” You asked, challenging him.

“Because you smell so fucking good.” He jerked his hips and you opened your mouth to let out a gasp. He then shoved his tongue into you, kissing you again as he pulled you towards him by your neck. “You taste so fucking good,” he continued, speaking against your lips.

The vibrating sound on the coffee table made you flinch in surprise. Jay peered over you and noticed that the timer he had set up went off.

“Fuck,” Jay muttered.

“Oh, baby,” you cooed, cupping his face with both your hands. “We’ll play again later.”

You heard two knocks on your door and instantly got off of Jay’s lap. You saw that his hair was disheveled and there were lipstick marks all over his face. You sent him to your private bathroom and you checked your reflection quickly on your phone before inviting Hwiyoung inside.

“The team is ready for you,” Hwiyoung said, fixing his glasses on top of his nose and not bothering to look at you as he just stood there by the door.

You realized there was no need to pretend to be looking at something on your iPad. You slipped it between your arm like a handbag and headed straight to the door.

“Tell Park to follow me asap,” you said as you passed Hwiyoung.

Hwiyoung then looked up and around. “Where is he?”

“In the bathroom,” you claimed, smiling to yourself. “I think he ate something funny.”

---

It took a while to coax Jay into coming to Taehyung’s housewarming party with you. When you mentioned his name, Jay thought that it was a party exclusive for close friends only, and he figured that you would be fine attending it alone. Deep down inside, however, you were scared that Namjoon was going to be there, and if he was, you would feel much more comforted having Jay by your side.

There was a lot of pouting and whining and stomping your feet softly when it came to persuading your boyfriend, and he eventually gave in because he could not believe how cute you were acting, or how you probably would never let it go if he still refused to come with you.

When it came to picking an outfit, it took you three tries to find a dress that Jay approved of. You wanted to look good and you usually dress for yourself, but because you already asked Jay to come with you, you wanted him to choose what to wear. You settled with a backless black dress with long sleeves that hugged your upper body in all the right curves, with an a-line skirt that reached just above your knees. Jay matched you with a plain black t-shirt and black dress pants, throwing over a brown leather jacket as an outer.

Because Taehyung’s house was located just outside of the city, you opted to ride the subway there and just walk to the location since it wasn’t that far of a distance. The moment the two of you arrived, Taehyung greeted you personally by the door and invited you in. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people who were already gathered, and the sound of a jazz record playing through the built in speakers on each wall.

“Did you buy a house or a museum?” You said, half yelling to Taehyung as he led you to the center of his house.

“A little bit of both,” Taehyung replied, grinning at you with his signature boxy smile.

It turns out Taehyung was popular popular. You ended up seeing friends from back in college, and Jay even found people he knew. The two of you became caught up in different groups of conversations, and you slowly drifted away from him, opting to sit on the sofa where Taehyung and his inner circle were hanging out. You glanced over once in a while to look for Jay, and when you spotted him at the corner of a room talking to a bunch of guys, you resumed talking to your own group.

The room you were sitting in had one huge sofa in the middle, which you were currently sitting on, on the far left, and two smaller sofas on each side. Taehyung’s group of seven, minus Namjoon, were huddled around you. You were relaxed as you began to find similar interests and new topics to talk about with them, especially with Hoseok since he was sitting next to you. You were also secretly relieved that Namjoon wasn’t there, so there was no reason to feel tense or uncomfortable.

That is, until Taehyung stood up from his seat to greet the new guest approaching your circle.

You cussed in your head as you scan your eyes across the room, frantically searching for Jay before Taehyung pulls Namjoon into the circle. Hoseok noticed your behavior and was about to ask you about it, but Jay appeared behind you as if from thin air and gently touched your shoulder.

“Babe,” he said, almost bowing down to you to reach your ear. “Kinda thirsty but I don’t know where to get a drink.”

“I’ll go,” you replied, standing up in an instant. You almost hit your head against Jay’s chin during the process. “Stay here.”

Jay wanted to go with you initially, but he realized maybe you wanted him to save your seat. When he turned to face the sofa, he found Hoseok looking at him.

“You’re Heeseung’s friend, aren’t you?” He asked with a smile.

Jay immediately warmed up and sat next to Hoseok, listening to his explanation of how he and Heeseung used to go to the same dance academy. In the middle of the conversation, Taehyung arrived back at the circle with Namjoon, and Jay felt a pair of eyes just observing him from a distance.

Luckily, you arrived in time, carrying two cans of soda in your hands as you handed one over to Jay. “You don’t mind not consuming alcohol tonight, do you?”

Jay just smiled and nodded at you, receiving the drink. You then noticed how Hoseok was beaming at you both, and realizing that Jay probably had felt a little left out, you decided to introduce him to the group. They all gave an acknowledging nod, including Namjoon who was sitting on the far right. Jay then was about to stand up to give your seat back, but you placed your hand on his shoulder, telling him to remain seated.

You sat on the edge of the sofa, the armrest barely serving as a wide enough surface for you to sit on. Jay pulled your legs towards him, protectively placing his hands on your thighs so you did not reveal too much skin. The conversation continued and you gradually became more comfortable with your position, resting an arm around Jay’s shoulder and almost sitting on his lap entirely.

For some reason, Jin, who was the most talkative of the group, suggested that you play a beginner-version of Chinese poker. Since it was just a game meant for four people, you split into groups of two people, with the others just hovering around to watch. You already knew how to play since it was the only fun thing you did during high school, so you quickly gave Jay a tutorial and helped him play the first practice round.

“Okay,” Taehyung clapped his hand, requesting for attention. “Now the real game begins. Place your bets.”

“Bets? We’re betting?” You asked, shifting your position on Jay’s lap. You had been sitting on him for so long, you were worried that he might have felt tired.

“Noona, if I win, can you hire me to work at your company?” Jungkook looked at you with puppy eyes. He was sitting to your left and you had to twist your body to face him.

Chuckling, you merely shrugged and agreed to his request. “Why not? You’re gonna have to pass him though,” you answered, pointing to Jay. Jay raised both eyebrows to Jungkook and he just grinned as a response.

“If I win,” Namjoon stated, clearing his throat. “You’re featuring on my new song.”

It took you a while to realize Namjoon was talking to you, and when you felt all eyes on you, you could only scoff. “Me? I don’t even sing.”

“But you can,” Taehyung chimed in. “We’ve heard you.”

The other guys started to agree and you were flustered, thinking that the game somehow turned into a penalty for you no matter who wins. While the rest of the guys were busy arguing with each other, Jay squeezed your thigh to get your attention. You looked at him for a second and leaned in when you realized he wanted to whisper to you.

“If I win, we’re getting the fuck out of here so I can have some alone time with you,” he said, ever so gently and right into your ear. He then trailed his index finger down your spine, taking advantage of your exposed back, and you giggled because of how it tickled. From across the table, Namjoon was clenching his jaw.

You reluctantly agreed to Namjoon’s request and as everyone finished placing their non-material bets, the game started. You noticed Jay struggling to hold his 13-card hand, so you placed your hand on one side and let him hold the other. The game was over in an instant, since all of you played sets more than singles or pairs, and Jin ended up winning with Jimin groaning since he had to do a favor for his hyung.

At least two more games went by with the winners’ bets unrelated to you, and you could basically hear Jay sighing in relief even though technically he did not win any yet. This next round, however, became more intense since it highlighted the way Namjoon and Jay were going neck and neck. You eyed Jay’s cards and mentally calculated the remaining cards Namjoon might had, and as you were about to give him pointers, Namjoon cleared his throat.

“Yoongi hyung is not helping me this round, so I think it’s only fair if you let Jay play on his own,” he stated.

The circle fell silent as they all laid their eyes on you and Jay. You scoffed, raising both your hands up and slowly standing up to move away from Jay. You remained standing beside him, though, observing the game quietly until it was Jay’s final turn.

Jay was eyeing the pile of cards, and the cards on Namjoon’s hands, before focusing back on his own hand. You had lost track of the cards that were already played, so you really did not know who was going to win. Eventually, Jay played a full house, hoping that Namjoon did not have a set that could win against his.

The set Namjoon revealed was a flush, signifying that he lost.

Taehyung immediately clapped, followed by the other guys shouting ‘beginner’s luck’ to Jay. Jay smiled so wide that wrinkles formed in the corner of his eyes, and Hoseok nudged his side as he mouthed ‘good job.’ Jay looked up at you and found you smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but pull you into his lap again, ignoring the chatter around you two as he rested his arm around your waist.

You leaned into him and kissed his forehead. “Well done, my prince,” you whispered, earning a soft smile from him as he closed his eyes.

Keeping your promise, and since it was getting late anyway, you decided to excuse yourself to the bathroom before going home. You walked to Taehyung and made him explain the route to the guest bathroom, and before leaving you insisted that Jay just wait in his seat.

Jay was talking to both Jungkook and Hoseok for a while until he realized you had been gone for too long. During a pause in the conversation, he looked around the circle and noticed that Taehyung, Jin, and Namjoon were also gone. He then politely excused himself from the conversation, promising to text Hoseok later, before standing up to go look for you.

Already aware where the bathroom was, Jay strolled down the hallway confidently until he spotted you at the end of it, by the balcony that faced the pool downstairs. From a distance it looked like you were standing there by yourself, and he thought maybe you were waiting in line to use the bathroom. When he took more steps closer, though, he saw Namjoon right beside you.

Your eyes glinted when you saw Jay, and Namjoon immediately sensed that you were distracted. You smiled apologetically to him before turning to your boyfriend.

“Ready to go, babe?” Jay asked, eyes focused on you without bothering to acknowledge Namjoon’s presence.

You nodded as you reached for Jay’s arm, hugging it and half-heartedly saying goodbye to Namjoon. As the two of you walked away, you hugged Jay’s arm tighter and he leaned in to kiss the top of your head.

---

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at us.”

You looked over at Jay who was lying down on the sofa, hair still wet from the shower and mindlessly scrolling on his phone.

“Like what?” You said, carrying two mugs filled with hot water and setting it on the coffee table. An hour had passed since you both arrived from Taehyung’s party and none of you were feeling sleepy yet.

“Like it was a crime for me to touch you,” Jay muttered. He watched you plop down on the sofa with him, pulling up your legs to your chest. You looked cozy in your shorts and cropped t-shirt, which was always your go-to lounge fit.

You smiled and checked your own phone. “Sometimes you have a way with words. Like you paint with it.”

Jay groaned and stretched his arms out. He did not respond for a while, but then he scooted over and made himself comfortable by lying down on your lap. His damp hair tickled your thighs but you were more than happy to have him snuggle up to you. He observed your focused face on your phone and began stroking your arm. He then reached up to caress your cheek, and as a response you kissed his palm.

“Is it childish if I say I don’t want you seeing him again? I have no idea what his intentions are but I have a bad feeling,” Jay confessed with a pout on his lips.

“He was still making excuses and finding ways to see me,” you replied. “I understand where you’re coming from.”

“Is that why you were talking to him for so long? If I didn’t come to look for you, what do you think he would have said?”

You frowned and set your phone aside, resting your hand on Jay’s chest. “I don’t know but I’m glad you came to rescue me.”

Jay linked his hand with yours. “So what will you do?”

“I have a company. I can always use that as an excuse to turn down every single invitation from him. And the next time Taehyung invites me to an event, I’ll make sure he won’t be there before I say yes to going.”

Jay smiled and pulled your hands to kiss your knuckles. You brushed his hair back before kissing his forehead, and he closed his eyes as he melted into your touch. His next move almost startled you, though, since he propped himself up with his arms and turned sideways to kiss you properly.

“All I wanted to do all night,” Jay sighed, cupping your face with one hand, “was to shove my tongue in your mouth so everyone will know you’re mine.”

You chuckled softly, landing a kiss on his cheek. “That sounds very romantic.”

Jay grabbed you by your thighs and made you lie down on the sofa completely before joining you, lying sideways and lovingly stroking your hair as you looked up at him.

“What else did you want to do?” You asked playfully, putting your hand flat against his chest.

Preferring to just show instead of tell, Jay kissed your lips once before moving to your jawline and down to your neck, sucking your soft spot. His hand that was stroking your thigh moved to spread your legs open, and as he fingered you through your shorts you moaned right into his ear.

“I can’t believe he got to smell you like this,” he muttered. “You smell like love.”

“Baby,” you moaned, jerking your hips up. You did not care anymore that you were clearly blushing from the way Jay was talking to you. “Take my shorts off.”

Jay had no choice but to oblige, especially when you were moaning breathlessly in his ear. He tugged your shorts and panties off in one go, discarding them on the floor before he positioned himself between your legs. You sighed as he planted kisses on your inner thighs, and as he made his way up and closer to your core you began to close your eyes. You felt his hot breath against your cunt, and suddenly you felt so needy.

“Jay,” you whimpered, locking your fingers in his hair. “What are you waiting for?”

Just as you finished your sentence, Jay shoved his tongue inside you without a warning. You groaned and arched your back at the sudden contact, and as he continued to abuse your folds you were struggling to keep your legs open. He kept you down with the weight of his arms as he continued to suck your clit. You were already losing your mind from the way his tongue was working wonders, and as he kept alternating between sucking, kissing, and licking your cunt you made sure to let him know how good he was making you feel by letting out the loudest, most obnoxious moans.

He did not give you time to get used to the overwhelming feeling of your orgasm creeping up. Your shirt was riding up your chest at this point, and Jay conveniently placed one hand on your boob, squeezing it so you can reach your high faster. You had lost the ability to form complete sentences, or even utter actual words, so when the pitch of your voice hit a higher note, Jay went even harder, shoving his tongue as deep as he could and supporting you by grabbing your ass.

“Oh my God,” you cried, feeling actual tears forming in the corner of your eyes. “Baby…”

You opened your eyes to look at Jay, who had his eyes on you the whole time. His nose brushed against your pelvis as he lapped up your juices, licking you dry before finally detaching from your core. He was drenched around his mouth and in that moment, you thought it was the most handsome he has ever looked.

“Why did you make me cum so fast? I want you inside me,” you whined, pulling him by the collar of his shirt so his face was level with yours.

“Don’t worry,” he said, dipping his head to leave a peck on your lips. “I’m not done with you.”

He pulled you by your hands so you could sit up and take your shirt off while he undressed himself completely. He then rested on the sofa, his back pressed to the pillows while you were now lying facing him. He wrapped an arm around you, securing your place so you wouldn’t fall, and you brought your leg up and rested it on his waist.

You began kissing his lips, caressing his cheek and brushing his hair, basically showing him every loving gesture that you could name. His skin was warm against yours, and as you continued to kiss him you felt his tip grazing your folds. You whimpered into his mouth, wanting nothing else except feeling him full inside you.

Jay caressed your back and held you in place by your waist as he slowly eased himself into you. You let out a shaky breath before touching your lips with his again.

“Mine,” he whispered.

“Yours,” you breathed.

And with that, the two of you continued to make love through the night, without thinking about anything else, focusing on the way your bodies fit into each other perfectly.

---

It was the middle of the week, and it was usually the busiest day for you at the office despite it being hump day. You woke up with the sunrays blinding you since the curtains were already open. Blinking several times, you then heard the sound of water running in the bathroom. You looked at the clock and realize that you woke up on time, so you decided to join Jay in the shower.

However, the moment you tugged your blanket away, you felt the sharp, stinging pain similar to the one that caused you the black out a while ago. You placed a hand over your lower abdomen as you searched for your phone, checking the calendar for your cycle. You were sure your period ended more than a week ago, so it could not be PMS. Once you ruled that out, and after finding out that you were ovulating, you just sighed and placed your phone back on the night stand, tucking yourself back in bed.

You lied down with your eyes wide open and your head empty, just staring into the distant sky through the window. After a while, Jay came out of the bathroom with only a towel covering his waist.

“Baby, are you up?” He called out to you as he walked over to the wardrobe to grab the clothes he had planned since last night. “If we want to be early, you need to shower now.”

You shifted in bed, curling up into a fetal position. Jay noticed this once he was done putting on his pants, and he chucked his towel away before walking over to your side. “What’s wrong?” He questioned you softly, kneeling on the floor and trying to get a good look of your face.

You closed your eyes and shook your head, finding it hard to explain the pain with words. Your arms were tucked in front of your stomach when Jay carefully lifted the covers away. He stroked your hair and touched your forehead to check your temperature before he moved his hand to rub your back.

“Was I too rough last night?” He asked again, voice lowered to a whisper.

You realized there was no reason to make Jay feel bad so you looked up at him and smiled weakly. “It’s just cramps. It happens sometimes when I’m ovulating.”

“Oh, okay,” he said, still rubbing his hand on your back. “Do you want to stay home? I can cover for you and call Hwiyoung. Or do you want me to stay?”

You did not answer for quite a long time, weighing the options in your head as you blankly stare at Jay’s arms.

“Fuck it, I’m staying,” Jay stood up without waiting for your response. His head turned left and right as he looked for his phone.

You sat up and rubbed your face with both your hands, taking a deep breath. You were not sure yourself if you could even stand up and function like a normal person, but then you quickly calculated the moments you stayed at work late and thought that maybe you did deserve a day off.

Jay rushed back to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, typing something on his phone. You calmly took his phone away from his hands and the way the shock washed over his face almost made you laugh.

“Cover for me, and take care of that one meeting we have scheduled for the afternoon,” you said, locking his phone and placing it beside you. “I’ll be f…”

Your sentence hung in the air as you winced, feeling the sharp pain returning. Jay scooted closer but froze, worrying that if he’d touch you wrong it would bring you more discomfort. When you felt the pain subside, you reached out to touch his face.

“I’ll be fine. The pain comes and goes, I just need to find a way to ignore it,” you continued. Jay frowned and placed a palm over your hand on his face, kissing it.

“If that’s what you want,” Jay said, moving closer to hug you. You accepted his embrace and as you put your arms around his neck, you realized he was maneuvering you to lie back on the bed. You chuckled at his action and let him do so. “I’m gonna fix something for you to eat before I go, okay?”

“Okay,” you answered softly. He leaned in to kiss you softly and you smiled at him. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, baby,” Jay replied without missing a beat. He kissed the back of your hand before standing up and leaving the bedroom.

It took a while for him to get things ready before it was time for him to leave, and when he went back into the bedroom, he saw that you had fallen asleep again. Grabbing his phone and jacket, he observed your face for a couple of seconds before tiptoeing away, closing the door slowly behind him.

---

Jay let himself inside the front door and frowned as soon as he heard laughter coming from the living room. He took off his shoes and loosened his tie, walking over to the sofa to find you and Jake just uncontrollably giggling over a show you were watching on Netflix.

“Looks like you two are having fun,” Jay announced his arrival and spoke louder on purpose.

“Oh, shit. You’re back!” Jake almost flinched when he heard Jay’s voice.

Almost not acknowledging Jake’s remark, Jay walked over to where you were seated and leaned in as you stretched your arms to give him a hug. “How are you feeling?” He asked softly, not forgetting to rub your back for a second before pulling away.

“Fine, but I think you calling Jake to babysit me is overkill,” you eyed Jake, who was still laughing to himself as he paused the show on the screen. “And thank God you’re here because I need to use the bathroom and he won’t leave me alone.”

“Noona, I can’t leave you alone,” Jake emphasized before glancing at Jay. “He gave me very specific orders.”

To tell the truth, Jay was too scared to leave you alone, especially knowing that the last time you were sick he wasn’t there to take care of you. Heck, he even missed the first call you made. So after preparing breakfast for you earlier, he made the genius decision to call his friends, seeing who was available for the day so that they can take his place in supervising you. The poor man was just worried sick that something horrible might happen.

“How was she?” Jay asked as Jake followed him to the kitchen.

Jake took a seat by the counter and watched as Jay took out three mugs. “Almost gave her a heart attack when she walked out her bedroom and found me just lounging there on her sofa. Why didn’t you tell her again?”

Jay shrugged. “If I introduce the idea of having you over, she would have said no real quick,” Jay answered. He started boiling water and going through your drawer filled with boxes of tea. “Did you order in lunch for her? Did she ask for painkillers?”

“Yes, and no,” Jake scrunched his nose as he caught a whiff of the scent of herbal tea. “I offered her some but she settled with using a hot water bottle.”

Jay nodded and pouted as he leaned towards the counter, hands grabbing the edge of it. “Are you good? You didn’t skip meals, did you?”

The face Jake made was that of a boy who seemed horrified at what he had just heard. “Mate, are you good? You’re being so attentive to me and that’s creeping me out a bit.”

Jay rolled his eyes and turned his back to Jake, checking the water he was boiling. Jake chuckled softly and shook his head.

“I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. I’m glad I came to look out for her,” Jake continued. “From the looks of it, it seemed like she just needed to talk and have company.”

Jake said it in a good way, but it still made Jay feel horrible for leaving you at home while he attended to all your office work. He began wondering what the day would have turned out like if he was the one staying home instead.

“Thanks, man,” Jay said, pushing one of the mugs filled with hot tea towards Jake. “Drink this, it’s good for you.”

Jake merely chuckled and followed suit when Jay carefully sipped his own tea. You came out of your bedroom and immediately walked over towards the counter where Jay was standing, hugging him from the side as his hand was occupied with his hot drink.

The three of you continued to talk over tea, with Jay lightly cleaning up and listening to both you and Jake making comments about the show you were watching. After he was done with his drink, Jake figured it was time to go, and mentioned that his shift as a part-time waiter was about to start anyway. You thanked him and gave him a tight hug before he left.

The moment the front door closed, the smile on your face slowly started to fade. The pain started kicking in again and Jay immediately noticed the shift in your expressions.

“Oh, no. Again?”

You admitted you were holding it in most of the time because you didn’t want to make Jake worry. Jay swiftly lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom, making you rest on the bed while he preps dinner for you. He let you eat on your bed and accompanied you as he pulled a chair and ate with you, trying his best to distract you from the pain as he tells you what happened at the office.

Once you felt your pain subside again, you went straight to the bathroom for a quick shower. You cut your skincare steps short and made it to the bed as quick as you could, and the moment Jay finished washing up you were already half asleep.

“Do you want the hot water bottle refilled?” Jay asked, putting on a clean t-shirt and brushing his damp hair back.

You shook your head and extended your hand, signaling that you wanted him to join you in bed. He smiled at you and quickly climbed into the covers.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked as he gently rubbed your waist.

You pointed to the right part of your lower abdomen, and he tried to move as carefully as possible as he pushed your t-shirt upwards. You were in no position to protest, because as soon as you realized what he was doing, all you could do was sigh in relief.

Jay caressed your belly and stroked your sides, aware that his body temperature was still warm from the shower. He then kissed the part where you said hurt, and placed his cheek on it, using you as a pillow. You found the gesture oddly comforting, so as a thank you, you began stroking his hair until you both drifted off to sleep.

---

The sound of pitter-patter against the window woke you up along with the subtle shine of the sunrays hitting your eyes. When you opened your eyes completely, you were greeted with the peaceful image of Jay sleeping right next to you. His hair was tousled to the side, and he had a tiny bit of drool on the corner of his mouth. His tan skin appeared golden under the bits of sunshine, and for a second you thought he was glowing like an angel.

You scooted closer to him ever so gently, careful not to wake him up. Bringing one hand up to his face, you rested it on his cheek and started caressing him with your thumb. You did not know if it was the rain, or your hormones, or just the fact that the love of your life is in bed with you that morning, but you just felt an overwhelming amount of love in your chest that almost made you choke up.

Jay scrunched his nose in his sleep and you stopped caressing him. You pulled your hand back to yourself and rested both under your cheek, still facing him and adoring the view. You then moved to kiss him on his cheek before turning around to face the other side, knowing full well that the tears in your eyes were about to fall.

You lied sideways and let your warm tears stain your pillow. Sometimes this happens—instances where you feel a sudden fear, or a certain anxiousness about something you hold dear—and when it does, you really could not find any other solution than to just let it out. You did not expect, though, to feel Jay’s arms snaking around your body and pulling you close to his chest.

Wiping your tears away in a rush, you took several deep breaths before placing both your hands over Jay’s. His grip tightened and you could hear him yawn behind you.

“Are you awake?” He asked, voice croaky.

“Mmhm,” you hummed as you pulled his hand to your lips to kiss his knuckles.

He snuggled closer to you, making your back press against his chest. His other hand reached upwards, tugging your shirt and sliding under it to give your breasts a light massage. You chuckled as you place your fingers over his elbow, letting him do his thing. Eventually he stopped, breathing heavily over your ear before leaning in to kiss your cheek.

You decided to turn around to face him and caress him properly, and when you did so, you found that he was still closing his eyes the whole time. You cupped his face with both your hands and he nuzzled into your palms. It made you choke back a tear, but it sounded like a sob, and as a result Jay slowly opened his eyes.

“Are you crying?” He asked, sounding tired but also panicked. “Tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt?”

Jay’s show of concern only made you even more teary. You sniffled and blinked, and more tears streamed sideways down your face. Jay furrowed as he pulled you into him, making you bury your head in the crook of his neck.

“It’s okay, love,” he whispered as he rubbed your back. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry,” you said against his chest, your voice almost a squeak. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“That’s okay,” he replied. Squeezing your shoulder and kissing the top your head, his hand then moved to your waist. “But can you please tell me if you’re hurting anywhere?”

You made an effort to shake your head no, hoping that Jay would understand that the pain you felt was not physical. He then continued to rub your sides with one hand and stroking your arm with the other.

“Listen,” Jay spoke with the gentlest voice he could muster. “It’s Sunday and we don’t have anywhere to be at least until the evening. You don’t even have to leave the bed if you want to. Just tell me what you want and I will make it happen. Anything.”

You chuckled softly in between sobs. “You sound like a genie.”

Jay pulled his head back to look at you, to make sure it was safe enough to crack a joke. “I mean, I kinda already am. Your wish is literally my command.”

You took a deep breath before looking up at him, the view being oddly funny since all you could see was his chiseled jawline from this close. “How many wishes do I get?”

“Unlimited,” Jay answered, without missing a beat. “Although to grant a wish, I do need you to rub my magic lamp.”

You punched Jay in the chest lightly and he winced dramatically, earning a hearty laugh from you. “Can I really just stay in bed?”

“Yes. Tell me what you need.”

“You.”

Clearly Jay was taken aback by your quick answer because of the way his hands stopped caressing your body. “Are you saying you want me to keep doing this?” Jay began stroking your hair again.

You hummed in satisfaction, nudging your nose against his chin. If you were a cat, you would practically be purring.

“How about this?” Jay moved his hand downwards and started rubbing your shoulders. You nodded in approval and started hugging him tighter. “I’ll do you one better.”

Jay started groping your ass aggressively, pushing your hips into his and it made you cackle. His eyes were crinkled on the corners by the way he was laughing with you, looking at you through his eyelashes before he closed the gap by kissing your lips. You sighed into his mouth, letting the warmth of his body take over you as you desperately hold on to his biceps for support.

“Your lips are chapped,” you commented, still breathing into his lips.

He merely hummed, biting your lower lip playfully and making you smile. “That’s why I’m kissing you to make them wet.”

You threw one leg over his waist and let him pull you even closer, as if the two of you couldn’t be any closer. For a while your tongues were just dancing against each other’s, and the way his hands were roaming all over your body made your shirt ride up. You smiled again into his kiss and placed a palm on his chest, stopping him even though he was so ready to chase your lips.

“You’re blushing,” he whispered, after getting a good look of your face.

“You’re hard,” you giggled, clearly feeling him between your legs.

“Wanna do something about it?” He proposed, hooking a finger on the band of your shorts. He waited until you nodded at him before tugging them down to your feet, and you kicked them away in a rush as you moved back into Jay’s arms, palming his erection against his flannel pants.

Jay brought your hand up to his lips to kiss it, and then pushed himself up to get rid of his pants and his boxers. He rarely goes to bed with a top, so he was now naked in front of you, snaking his arm under your waist while his other hand caressed your thigh. You rested both your hands on his neck, and your leg over his waist, while you let him align himself with your entrance.

He entered you and completely bottomed out in one go. As he observed your face, eyes closed and brows knitted, he gently caressed your thigh again to let you adjust to his size. The moment he saw you begin to relax, he started rocking his hips into you ever so slowly.

You sighed and opened your eyes, searching for his. You then pulled him into a kiss and let him quicken the pace, gradually moaning louder into his mouth. You wanted to feel him deeper, so you hooked your leg around him and placed your hand on his ass, pushing him into you. Jay groaned, letting go of your lips as he breathed shakily over your mouth. You rocked your hips with him and matched his pace, and within minutes you both came one after the other.

You couldn’t remember when was the last time sex with Jay was this slow and sensual, yet completed in such a short time. The effect it had on you was just like any other session with him, though, and you took a second to appreciate how full you felt with him still inside you.

Jay, on the other hand, was staring at you as if honey was dripping from his eyes. His hands never stopped caressing you—your thighs, your back, and your shoulders—and it was like there wasn’t an inch of your body that was left untouched.

“Breakfast for the queen?” Jay asked, brushing your hair back to kiss your forehead.

You smiled. “I think I need a shower first.”

“With me?”

“Just me.”

Jay pouted at you and you could not believe how cute or how innocent he looked, all the while still having his cock between your walls. You scrunched your nose as you clenched down there, earning a soft grunt for him as you pulled away.

“I have zero energy right now,” you said, smiling apologetically.

“My bad,” Jay replied, smiling sheepishly. He landed one last kiss on your lips before you disappeared into the bathroom.

---

You stared at the four boys huddled in your living room, staring at the TV as they yelled at the screen and screamed into each other’s ears. Jay was sitting on a lounge chair, still dressed in his black undershirt tucked into his black dress pants because he went out to get groceries with you earlier. His denim jacket was randomly thrown on the chair by your desk. Heeseung and Sunghoon occupied the sofa, or your loveseat, as they gripped their consoles in their hands. Jake was on the other side, sitting on the floor and leaning comfortably on your coffee table, cheering on Heeseung’s character on the screen.

A loud groan came out of Sunghoon’s mouth as he saw his character fall down dramatically in slow motion with the words K.O. on the screen. Jay was laughing hysterically, while Jake immediately turned around to give Heeseung a high five. You shook your head and smiled to yourself, turning around to browse your cabinet to find hot drinks that you can serve to the boys.

“Noona, your TV is a 55-inch, right? Our TV broke and it’s game night, can we come over and use yours?”

When Jake called you on the phone and immediately popped the request, it made you realize how comfortable Jay’s friends were with you now, and how they basically were your friends too. It was a little complex when it came to Heeseung, though, since he was technically employed by you, but you were grateful that the boys welcomed you the second they saw you for the first time.

Or maybe they were just getting too comfortable with you now. Honestly, you couldn’t tell. Of course you said yes to Jake’s request, which was met with loud noises in the background of the call, and you could barely make out Sunghoon yelling thank you to you.

You decided to unbox the new hot chocolate packets that you got from the store. As you dig your nails into the box to rip it open, you heard the shuffling of slippers and noticed that Heeseung was now joining you by the kitchen counters.

“Need hot water with that?” He asked, smiling as he went to wash his hands in the sink.

You pointed out the location of the teapots and mugs, and as he boiled the water he stayed there to talk to you. You glanced over to the living room once in a while, noticing that Jay was now playing against Jake.

“So I heard about the L/N Tech Awards,” Heeseung cleared his throat. “That’s open for any of your employees, right?”

“Anyone who is not an executive, yes,” you answered without a thought. Then you blinked. “Wait, how do you know that?”

“Sometimes when I arrive early to your office, I chat with the guys there. Your other secretary, Hwiyoung, seems to be sharing a lot of information, you know,” Heeseung explained as he leaned on a counter.

You frowned. “So what now, you’re buddy-buddy with Hwiyoung too?” Heeseung shrugged and you moved to place five mugs on the counter. “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Heeseung stood up straight and fixed his posture. “I know I don’t work in the office, but if it’s allowed, I would like to apply.”

You turned to face Heeseung and smiled. “You want to study?”

Heeseung sucked the air between his teeth as he figured out a way to express his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Hanging out around your staff, and you, made me want to do more.”

You fell silent and just stared at Heeseung for a while. You were reminded of your teaching days and how every single positive comment from your student would stay on your mind for days. You always thought of yourself as someone who would rather move in silence—not wanting to be perceived and seen. So when you see your students, or anyone else for that matter, get inspired by your actions and go on to achieve more than you could ever think of, it always makes you feel immensely proud.

After what felt like a long period of silence, you smirked and nudged Heeseung’s arm with your elbow. “Yeah, you can apply. Why not?”

Heeseung whispered a dramatic ‘yes!’ and jumped in his place once, earning a soft laugh from you. You continued to talk to Heeseung, almost not noticing the way Jay was approaching the two of you since you were facing the stove and not the living room.

“Why are you flirting with my girlfriend?” Jay asked, obviously joking. You were about to say something but he playfully put you in a headlock, gently dragging you away from Heeseung. You chuckled and placed both your hands on his arm, hanging on to him for dear life.

“I’m talking to our boss,” Heeseung defended himself. He then glanced over at the sofa and saw Jake calling him over since it was his turn to play. He quickly left and you just stared at the other three boys for a while, still in a headlock.

Since Jay wasn’t letting you go, you experimentally licked his arm and he flinched from the sudden contact, instantly letting you go. You laughed because his face was in between shock and disgust, and you immediately placed a hand affectionately on his face to caress his cheek.

“Your friends are being too loud,” you said. “If my neighbors come up to me and complain, it’ll be on you.”

“Yeah?” Jay took your hand off his face and placed it on his shoulder, then he pulled you towards him and encased you in his arms. “They don’t seem to have a problem when you’re being loud.”

You knew exactly what Jay meant and you just scrunched your nose. “I’m never that loud. They are literally screaming like they’re being murdered.”

“So do you want me to make you scream that loud?” Jay leaned into you, nuzzling your neck and speaking right against your skin. “I can do it, you know. If you’d let me.”

Your eyelids fluttered shut as your hands moved down to stroke his arms. His delicious arms, you thought. You had seen Jay naked countless times, so why is the image of him wearing an undershirt turning you on more than usual?

“JAY!” Sunghoon’s loud scream almost slapped you back into reality. “It’s your turn again, buddy!”

At the same time, the water started boiling, so with a chuckle, you let go of Jay and sent him back to the living room. After pouring the packets of hot chocolate into each mug, you carefully poured the hot water into them. You then glanced over at the boys and noticed that Jake was not playing.

“Jake, can you give me a hand?” You asked, raising your voice.

Jake turned his head towards you so fast and immediately stood up and ran to you. You asked him to fetch a tray and he marveled at how luxurious it was and even commented how expensive it must have been. You just laughed at his random comments as you placed each mug onto the tray, and then made him bring it to the coffee table.

The round ended not long after you served the drinks to the boys, and as they placed their consoles aside for a second, you watched as they all took different mugs.

“Careful, it’s probably still piping hot,” you said, eyeing Sunghoon warily since he seemed to be the one who was the most eager.

Jay took a sip after blowing gently into his mug, and then his face froze. A frown then gradually formed on his face as he looked at you, eyes staring at you in protest.

“Oh no. Is that my mint choco?” You asked, holding back a laugh.

Jay groaned and the other boys just laughed at him, glad that they dodged the mint choco bomb.

“I’m sorry!” You said, taking Jay’s mug away and handing him yours, which you hadn’t sipped from yet.

“Kiss the taste away from me, please,” Jay demanded, setting his mug on the table.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, and Heeseung let out an airy chuckle as he grabbed the console on the table. Since you established that you were comfortable with the boys around you, you moved to sit on Jay’s lap and as he adorably pouted his lips towards you, you kissed him gently.

“Oh my God, PDA. Get a room!” Jake dramatically covered his eyes, blindly reaching for the other console.

“This is literally my house,” you said, snuggling comfortably into Jay’s lap and holding your mug close to your chest.

Jake blinked to himself like he just got a sudden revelation. Sunghoon then complained and asked Heeseung and Jake to start the next round. You stayed seated on Jay’s lap, handing him his mug and letting his arm rest around your waist.

“Thank you for doing this,” Jay spoke softly into your ear.

“Doing what?” You asked, not taking your eyes off the TV.

“Hosting game night for the guys,” Jay continued. “You really are a keeper.”

He planted a chaste kiss on your cheek and you smiled, putting your hand on his face to press his cheek onto yours. “You’re welcome, baby.”

“Baby? That’s something new,” Jake chimed in after having listened to your not-so-subtle conversation.

You eyed him fiercely before spitting a response. “Oh shut up, I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

And with that, you managed to earn a huge, hearty laugh from the boys. Heeseung found himself in tears as he seemed to be aware of Jake’s actual size, and Sunghoon was wheezing and absolutely speechless to have seen you snap. Jay, on the other hand, squeezed his arms around you tighter, happy to know that you will always have his back no matter what the context.

-END-

© forjongseong 2022, all rights reserved

read the next part: subtítulos

[knightsofsomethingorother]

What I like about the Knights: Bedwyr/Bedivere

I have had brainworms about this man since I first read the scene in good old Morte when I was 14 years old where he lied about throwing Excalibur into the lake. TWICE. And he only tosses it in after Arthur straight up threatens to kill him if he tries that shit again. Iconic. As such most of my love for him stems from Malory's interpretation specifically, which is funny because this motherfucker is only in the last few chapters.

To expand a bit on him lying at the end. We don't really know WHY he didn't chuck it. We know he thinks it'd cause problems, but no specifics. Did he want to use it himself? Did he think it'd help the kingdom to keep around? Was it ultimately sentimental? Selfish or selfless? Who knows!

In the older works he pops up in, he notably doesn't have any outstandingly special powers unless you count him being really good with thrusting weapons, which I don't because A) it can be read as him just being really quick and precise (which I personally find a more interesting interpretation, hard work and skill honed over a long time is way cooler than magic), and B) he gets power-creeped hard - and even then most writers either don't know or forget he's really good with swords and spears. My mans had his thunder stolen BAD.

In fact, he was the OG Prettiest Guy Who Isn't Arthur(tm), but then more Prettiest Guys Who Aren't Arthur(tm) kept getting added. So he's, unfortunately, usually shoved into the background unless someone else (usually Kay) drags a spotlight over to him.

Sidenote, I fully believe that Bedwyr and Kay are married. But really I'm just happy any time they appear together. A lot of the time the knights don't really feel like they're even friends in the 'normal human' way instead of the 'operating under 10 layers of chivalry and posturing' way, and at the very least Kay and Bedwyr actually enjoy being around each other.

Also, this motherfucker was there FROM THE BEGINNING (both in-universe and as like... a concept (he predates Jesus by a few hundred years)) and is usually the last guy left alive. But he's never a major player in anything except chucking the sword in a lake at the end. At most he's helping Kay with something or doing his job. A job he did presumably well because he held his position as Marshall for several decades and only lost it because everybody mcfucking bit it all at once.

If you want to look through a metanarrative lens, he's cursed to witness events and never influence them, but he gets one act of agency at the very end, which he gives up out of either fear or loyalty. And his reward is that he's left alone with a flippant order from his king to do whatever he wants. A lifetime of service rendered completely null and void by the complete loss of everything and everybody that he's ever known.. A lifetime of service to a system that was ultimately the root cause of the tragedy. And goddammit that's some spicy stuff to work with.

Anyway, my grand thesis statement is this: He exists in a sweet spot where he'd be an excellent POV and can be built on without in any way upsetting preestablished characterization. He's a relatively normal guy among complete and total freaks of nature (affectionate) who manages to outlive all of them. And the few things that are relatively set-in-stone about him (Close to Kay, only has one hand, there from the beginning, chucks sword into lake) are enough of a foundation to make him really interesting. To summarize:

[cinewhore]

One Way or Another

Pairing: Marcus Pike & Fem!Reader (Carmen Sandiego AU)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: angst!

Summary: You’ve been working your entire life to become an ACME agent. When things get too quiet, you grow comfortable with the silence. Too bad it doesn’t last for long. 

A/N: It’s been a while. Wanted to get something out. No beta. Credits to the gif maker. 

After three years of radio silence, a buzz was made. 

The agency has been nothing short of chaotic for a fucking week. 

You could already tell that late nights and early mornings were going to be a thing, so you set up shop in your office. You barely left, scanning over documents and photos, earning more headaches by the hour. 

You weren’t the only dedicated agent. 

Marcus Pike was sent in by the FBI, a stunt you didn’t understand nor did you agree with but you figured if they were going through the trouble of getting him to HQ then he must be the real deal. ACME was best of the best in terms of an international agency, it made all the other agencies look like babies. Out of your entire training class, you and two other people were the only ones left. 

You were sure Marcus was going to come in with his britches tight and ego inflated but he rendered you speechless as he stated that he was there to assist you the best he knew how. He was polite, diligent and ambitious. 

That made him dangerous. 

Currently in the state conference room, you sit in a chair with your feet propped up on the table, mouth working furiously at your lip. It was a terrible habit and you made up for the nagging voice of your mother in your head by constantly applying a new layer of chapstick on whenever you felt the tiniest hint of dryness. 

A large map of the world was displayed on the screen in front of you, police scans from all over steadily streaming in through the speakers. It had become white noise to you. Glancing up at your partner, you crease your eyebrows. 

Marcus looked different. 

He was no longer the shiny new toy being paraded around. Instead, he was sporting a patchy beard, unkempt hair, and wearing a ruffled suit you’re sure he’s been in for the past two days. 

He was murmuring to himself, eyes dancing across the screen like it was a lifeline. Posture no longer rigid, he sort of slumps over as he sits perched on the table. 

Your gaze lingers on his arms, muscles bulging through the white button down. He was a good looking toy but one that was off limits. The Chief made sure you knew that. 

“Hey,” you rasp your knuckles on the table, garnering Marcus’s attention. “We’re gonna get her.” 

His brown eyes blink a few times, the vacant glaze holding your own. Marcus nods and clears his throat. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

You poke a thumb at the takeout that had been picked through earlier. 

“Should I reheat this? Eggroll is gonna be a bit soggy but the cafeteria should still be open so-“

An alarm dings. 

A red dot appears on the map. 

Moscow, Russia. 

Marcus flies up to the screen, hands waving frantically at you. You jumped at the sound as well, tapping away on your laptop to alert the chief. 

“Gotcha,” Marcus whispers, facing braking out in a crazed smile. “Can you tran-“

“Already on it.” 

As soon as the alarm went off, the map picked up on the reports coming out of Russia and you were hard at working translating everything over to a staff memo. 

The ACME agency in Russia would be alerted immediately and agents would be dispersed. Everyone was waiting anxiously, ready to rush out at the drop of a pin. 

“What the hell is she doing in Moscow?” You whisper aloud. 

“There’s going to be transportation of a Faberge egg, it’s on loan currently.” Marcus replies without skipping a beat. 

The guy really knows his stuff. 

You shake your head. “Doesn’t make sense. Why take the egg? She’s too dumb to keep it and too smart to sell. Something like that pops on the market and we’ll know its her. There’s something else at play.” 

Marcus rubs a hand against his faint mustache. “Let’s hope you’re wrong.” 

“Moscow team is already in route plus we have escorts with the egg. She won’t be able to come close.” 

Another ding. 

Bogota, Columbia. 

And another. 

Paris, France. 

Xi’an, China.

Cairo, Egypt. 

Once it started, it didn’t stop. The police chatter now sounded like an angry swarm of bees. A mesh of languages, some of which you understand but others you didn’t. 

You did understand one thing in every language, though. 

Carmen Sandiego. 

You lean back in your chair, dumbfounded. More than fifty dots had shown up on the map in over a hundred countries. It was unlike anything you had ever seen. 

You look over to Marcus, the half smile now replaced with a scowl etched so deep into his face you swore he was a different person. 

“Marcus?” 

He whips out his phone, the screen illuminating him. He quickly shields it from view, gunning for the exit. 

“I need a second.” 

You stare at him as he leaves, slowly turning your head back to the map. Your own phone vibrates itself off the table, clattering onto the floor. 

Marcus heads outside, undoing another button on his shirt. How long had he had this on? There was definitely a mustard stain on it from a few days ago. 

His phone continues to ring, the unknown caller ID mocking him. Marcus answers the phone, not bothering to utter a greeting. 

“It’s unlike you to be up at this hour, Texas.” 

Marcus swallows thickly. 

“Where are you?” 

The voice on the lines laughs, the sound akin to slow dripping molasses. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Marcus wanders away from the building some more, obtaining a more firm and hushed tone. “We didn’t agree to this.” 

“You didn’t agree to this, all I said was that I was going to play nice.” 

“Nice? You think this is nice?! I’ve got warrants out for you on six out of the seven continents, not including your so-called friends. This is not a game.” 

“Oh, but it is, isn’t it?” The voice answers back gleefully. 

Marcus exhales deeply, rocking his jaw. 

“I’m trying to give you a win, here. Ivy is on the move in Berlin. She’s sloppy and careless. A walking liability.” 

Marcus didn’t like handouts. However, in this instance, he was in no shape to deny it. 

A brief silence lingers over the phone. 

“Marcus, please.”

He hated how much he loved her saying his name. He hated that it happened on numerous occasions. He hated that he wanted her to do it again. 

“Fine but I want three more lined up by sunset. No funny business.” 

A light chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’ll wrap them neatly for you.” 

Marcus scuffs at the ground with his shoe, feeling like a little boy with a school grade crush all over again. 

He looks back at the building. “I should get going.” 

“Yes, you should.” 

Another beat. Then, “I miss you.” 

The line clicks. 

Marcus doesn’t give himself time to process what was just said, hurrying back into the conference room where you were likely battling almost every agency in the world trying to ensure operations ran smoothly. 

A few more people has entered the room since but you’re the only one who offers him a smile and a cup of coffee as he returns. 

You look him over, taking note of his flushed cheeks. “Everything ok?”

He gives you a reassuring pat on the arm, taking a swig of his beverage. Just how he likes it. 

“Yeah, everything’s good. Cancel all units except Germany’s.” 

You scoff, pointing up at the map. Everyone in the room stills. “What are you talking about? We’ve got reports-“

“And I’ve got a gut feeling. Let’s close in on Berlin.” 

Marcus doesn’t stand down, looking rather confident in his decision. You glance towards the door and back at him. Reluctantly nodding an affirmative, you instruct the other agents to coordinate a sweep of the area. 

“One hell of a gut you got there, Pike.” 

Marcus squints his eyes, hands firming around his cup. 

“I’m aware.” 

[abra-ka-dammit]

re: the AI art debacle i kinda accidentally-on-purpose started with a customer at work (i was doing my normal printshop work of resizing shit to print on banners and when i sent the proofs to the customer to tell him it looks bad thanks to whoever generated the imagery for his book promo art doing it at such a low resolution, he replied it's not AI but hand painted and my Actual Artist instincts to defend my craft kicked in so i broke down the most egregious of the images for him and he was like. oh fuck. ur right.)

He had asked for a breakdown of why I thought the other images were AI so me and a couple other artists i sent the images along to analyzed and pointed out several things in every single one

he was. well. infuriated. not at me, but his liar-ass "artist". he sent our notes to the person in question and they sent back a retort where they essentially chalked up everything to "i forgot to fix that" (?), "that was just a mistake" (pretty wild mistakes for someone who supposedly paints so well), "that's actually correct/on purpose/an artistic decision" (my ass), and basically nuh-uh'd through only about. a third of my notes. also added a few teeny tiny screenshots of "drafts" that look like other iterations they got with the same prompt, claiming things were artifacts of the repainting (in ways that don't add up)

basically they offered no convincing explanations, did not provide any source files showing work layers of any sort, and whats more, they had never sent initial sketches/drafts/WIPs to him during the process for approval (just those fully rendered "drafts". you know. like any artist ever would do. fully paint an entire finished image then run it by the client. mhmm.)

told him what i thought abt the retort and he agreed with me that it was a lot of evasion and little to no actual answers

its a weird combo of a good and bad feeling. like on one hand i feel that smug satisfaction of outing a scam "artist" (who had even signed agreements saying they would NOT be using AI for the pieces). on the other hand now this dude knows he got conned and has to deal with not only trying to get compensation for breach of contract but replacing all of the artwork because HE signed things with venues and promoters that his imagery did not contain AI artwork too. so this otherwise seemingly nice guy whose other ventures are an escape room and a dog walking service ffs is in all this distress due to me sticking my nose into other peoples business uninvited

like sure, he thanked me a lot for this but its not like. great feeling to be the bearer of bad news.

[clowndotgay]

if you dont mind me asking, how do you do the card renders?

so i'm not 100% sure how to answer this because its kinda vague - i'm not sure if you're asking about the card (image editing) part or the rendering process! if you want to know about the process of getting the characters and areas into blender, i've written a few posts about that already - they're under the "toontown models" tag on my blog, so they shouldn't be too difficult to find. RAMBLING ABOUT IMAGE EDITING BELOW THE CUT EXCLAMATION MARK EMOJI! THIS ISN'T A TUTORIAL IT'S JUST ME TALKING!!!! (only slightly related, but i'm putting it above the cut so more people might see it - i wrote some mock pokemon cards for managers a bit ago but i don't want to make them full images, would anyone be interested in me just posting those as text?)

the actual image editing part i do in photoshop! it's kind of a bad program but my usual art program dies when i try to do what i do for cards because it kinda struggles with text. i've started doing the text in-render for the cards recently, though, because it's kind of a blast?

it's probably obvious to anyone who's looked at them hard before, but my mock cards use the Series 1 Cog cards as a base (the official Disney ones)

they've just got a sort of weirdly unhinged vibe to them, they're so far off of the cogs representation in-game and kinda gives a look at (imo) how the cogs were originally imagined, as I feel that some of the card art is closer to original concept art (or probably is concept art) than it is close to in-game character appearances. man, Cold Callers card doesn't even look like the same guy! he's lanky here!

and i mean, kinda obvious, but i can't get the same level of craziness these cards are on with renders, but i can try. so i do! it's fun!

i don't know if anyone has really noticed it, but for the last handful of cards i've been opting for colouring the border of the card dependent on the department of the cog. green for cashbot, pink for sellbot, etc. here's a test i did of it a couple weeks back when i was playing around with the idea in my head (the renders were randomly chosen):

(the boardbot colour is kinda subtle - but that's just how it is in-game, exe bd skelecogs are super close to exe lb skelecogs, but maybe that's just my eyes)

the actual "process" of putting the card together once i've done the render is kinda just plopping the render into the .psd and telling photoshop what department the cog is (for the border colour) & then i'm done. the file is super simple, it's just a series 1 card but i edited everything out other than the border, bunch of layers connected to the border that give it the department colours, layer of a kinda-crappy filter i slap on to try and give it the same "feel" the card scans have, layer for the text (optional now that i do it in-render), layer with the render.

there's some extra fun stuff i try and do with effects in the renders, but i'm kinda new to messing around with blender stuff like that, so i try and hold it to a minimum. as an example, the CFO render is kinda hue-shifted so i could get the colours closer to what i was basing the lighting of the render off of! to use a better example of silly effects i used for a card, i'm gonna talk about this high roller card:

dude this thing took forever because i wanted to do Everything in-render (would've taken way less time if i wasn't stubborn). it's a bunch of layers and gradients and shine. i'm kind of tipping my hand here, but there's straight up just a blindingly bright cube in their hands that's making the shine, and then i kinda just. told blender to add a lens flare. and it did. i had to simulate rain for that one misty render and that was a time. y'know. i actually have to finish up a commission where there's blinding light emitting from something and it's really really good and probably one of the best renders i have done and it is 99% thanks to the commissioner because the ask is So Good.

anyways that's kind of all i wanted to say. i hope this answered your question? maybe? was your question just "what do you make them in?" if so, it's blender and photoshop. sorry for making you read a text wall instead. at the risk of sounding too silly, i really like speaking about the things that i do, but i feel weird talking about them unprompted? so i took this as being prompted and talked.

[honey-snap]

ok so lik gabby is fun af to draw

we all know this hes pretty fuckung cool his design is fun af to draw and mess with

but ynow hats yummier?

THE WINGS

we wanted to get silly and try and find a look to render the wings for future artworks, so here's the collection of the wing render tests!!!

"oyster shell"

first one we did, we wanted to get a bit silly ya? we like the scanline look of it, and the way it looks sorta transparent, it reminds me of like idk. tail lights? we just think its really cool may use in a future drawing that asks for this kind of style. 8/10

2. blur and posterize + trimmed edges

ngl we fucking hate this. posterization sucks because like you cannot control the flow it seals in properly so it goes against the shape. air brush in general no fun. kinda cute trim tho!! 4/10

3. just low opacity layering

honestly looks the most like accurate in terms of the illustrations! it looks sleek and smooth, very nice to the eye and i could actually control the flow. simple, but effective. 9/10

4. halftone

ok this was more of a fuck around and find out but it was a fUN ONE AT THAT!! we have like 4 halftone brushes we never use, and it was nice to use after like a good minute. very stylish!! very yummy. 10/10

5. "aurora borealis"

had to screenie it transparent so you can see the yummy details- pretty close to in-game look minus some things, not a huge fan of the fades though, it feels like the wings are like jellyfish rather than wings. still pretty af. 5/10

6. you can barely see it but its like noisy

like the low opacity layering, simple yet effective. i like the grain a bit, might be good for poster look. not mych going for it beyond that though. 6/10

7. my silly personalized blend brush (its literally everything i ever needed)

it takes so many strokes and so much fucking storage but SHEEEEEESH does this look yummy!! very pyrogenic looking, its just yummy. would be great for a huge like epic painting. wish i had the will to do that. 10/10

8. moire

yet another fuck around and find out and SHEEEEEEEESH would be good for that silly gabriel hologram (fucking love that guy) or really stylized shit. yum :3 8/10

9. wispy thing idk

no idea how to feel about this one, but its yummy looking too! reminds me of one of those windows media player visualizers, you know the one. feels early 2000s, which i looove. 8/10

thats all lol

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Gentile. | Chapter 27

Quintus’ mood swings render him ever unpredictable. Gaius displays curiosity regarding your marriage. You set sail for Rome.

Chapter list

You manage to slip under the covers soundlessly and do thus not rouse Quintus. Sleep does not come easy, though, with a raging mind that settles on anything but rest, and your eyes feel heavy in the morning, whilst Quintus loudly makes his hangover known. You draw the sheets over your body to block out the cold whilst you watch your husband dress for the day, groaning about how his head feels like it’s being split open.

“What was in that wine?” he grunts, rubbing his temples and squeezing his eyes shut, and you roll onto your side to support your stomach a little better. 

“I told them to get the best they could find,” you say, “Apparently, it was heavier than expected.”

“You don’t need to tell me.” Quintus responds, adjusting his armour. He drapes an extra layer over his shoulders before turning to you, dark eyes flitting over your form.

“Don’t forget to pack your things. We’ll leave tomorrow before daybreak.”

You let out a noise. “For how long should I pack?”

“A week.”

He leans down and the brush of his mouth against yours is nothing compared to the way Atticus thoroughly loves you. Thinking back on last night, you try to not let your disgust regarding Quintus’ kiss get the better of you.

When he leaves, you lay for a while longer, caressing the itching skin of your stomach, attempting to muster the courage to pack your belongings. Had Quintus not revealed the true intentions of his trip to Rome yesterday, you would have been delighted to go. Now, you feared either you or Lucius slipping up, and you just hoped to get a word in before Quintus could speak to your brother. After all, you hope to convince him into fleeing or at least be mindful of what might come.

It feels wrong to ask such a thing of him for your own sake. 

But how will you live in eternal regret if you let Atticus go and remain in the life you have now?

You eventually manage to drag yourself out of bed and wash yourself before slipping into something comfortable. The skin around your lips is dry by the chafe of Atticus’ stubble, a pleasant memory dancing inside your mind as you start packing your belongings with mixed feelings surging through you. In light of his work, Atticus is around for a while, so the fact that you are the one to leave Capernaum by tomorrow pains you greatly. After all, you aren’t sure when you’ll run into him again.

After choosing a few garments as well as some accessories that go with them, you take it easy for the day. With grape juice and apricots at hand, you take a seat underneath the tree overlooking the Sea of Galilee. The copy of the verses taken from Song of Songs rests in your lap and you read them intently, wondering who wrote them and allowing your mind to go to the Preacher that has caused so much upheaval lately.

The image of his eyes floods your vision. The moment had been brief but long enough to know that Jesus was no ordinary Man, at least compared to all the other Jewish preachers you had seen in the streets. Jesus didn’t seem to boast loudly about His achievements, He didn’t pray loudly on the corner of the street, nor did He require any donations.

It was interesting to you. All your life, you had never really questioned the polytheism within Roman culture. When you were younger, you used to pray daily to whatever deity you needed assistance from. For every moment of the day, there was a different god you sought out. 

They had been silent despite your loyalty.

You had begged the gods to prevent your marriage, and they didn’t. You had pleaded that Quintus would start to really love you, and nothing came of it. In your desperation, you had even asked if you could fall for your husband in the hopes that being with him would be less taxing throughout life, but your aversion only grew.

Overtime, your faith dwindled, and it brings you here, feeling not an ounce of guilt for taking keen interest in Jewish Scriptures.

But what about this God is different from the ones within Roman culture? The few poems you’ve got on you are hardly enough to figure this out and visiting a synagogue was out of the question. No matter if and how you’d get that information, what you knew is that you simply had to know more. Jesus’ warm eyes had been too inviting to suppress that intrigue now.

You nearly spit your juice back into your cup as a sudden jolt goes through your belly. With widened eyes, you swallow quickly and look down at your stomach, the parchment stirring at the arch of your body as you move in discomfort.

Putting down the cup, you move aside the scroll and wonder what is going on, until that same feeling goes through you again. 

Your bladder suddenly feels tight and sudden pain surges through it before it shifts higher to your navel and– the baby, you suddenly realise, and you gasp as you lay your hand on your stomach – it takes a second to comprehend that you have just felt your child move for the first time.

Sitting as still as you can, you cradle your tummy and wait for another good minute to notice any movement, but the baby seems to have gone back to sleep. Joy shunts through you, causing the greatest of grins to spread over your face. It falls just as fast when you are briefly overcome with the urge to call Atticus’ name, for you know that he is not close to hear and seeking him out in the light of day to share the news would mean a death sentence if witnessed by the wrong people at the wrong time. 

Tears shiver inside your vision and you swallow the lump in your throat. 

With a defeated sigh, you rub your thumb over your stomach, drawing small circles as you celebrate the moment in silence, utterly alone.

_ 

Quintus returns home late, fuming. The vein on the side of his head throbs and his knuckles are white as he squeezes the cup of wine between his fingers. Even though the first words he had said when he had woken up had been that he’d never drink a single drop of alcohol again, something that had happened at work has put him in a foul mood.

“Just my luck,” Quintus grunts, nursing his drink as you enter the room. “Right when things are finally, finally starting to get sorted out, this happens. It must be a curse from the gods. Have you been praying lately?”

“Of course,” you lie, “What is going on, Quin? Has something happened–”

“Matthew quit.” Quintus hisses through gritted teeth, “He has the best job out of all the Jews in all of Capernaum. Has a mansion, more than enough money to eat like a king every night, and then Gaius comes to me telling me that he dropped everything to follow… Follow that Jewish Rabbi!”

“Jesus?”

Quintus gives you a sharp look. “Yes! Stop mentioning His name, I really don’t like that Man.” 

“Why did Matthew… Did he really just… Leave?”

“What a fool, right?” your husband huffs, seething behind his cup as he throws it back in one gulp. “Gaius is already going through the applications for a new publicanus. I trusted Matthew’s wit more than any of the lot combined. Now, we’re back at zero regarding the tax collection here. He’ll be difficult to replace.”

Chewing on his nail, Quintus puts down his cup before inhaling through his nose. “Have you packed your things, dear?”

“I have.” you respond, “Everything is in the chest in the bedroom–”

“Good, call over a servant to have it hauled into the cart. I’ll be packing my final necessities and then we’ll leave for Rome.”

Your heart drops. “Now?” Part of you had been daydreaming about Atticus climbing through your window and kissing you senseless in the midst of night. Now even the possibility thereof fades as Quintus gives a nod and heads over to the wardrobe to pull out robes and tunics to bring. 

“What about your work? You cannot leave now, whilst the town is on the verge of disarray!”

“Aren’t you just grateful , darling, that I’m bringing you with me to Rome? Where’s that whining little brat that begged to go and see her darling brother?”

Your hands clench into fists at the words. 

Quintus’ eyes meet yours. “Do what I say and get yourself ready to leave.”

“But Quintus, I’m five months pregnant, I cannot just—”

He lunges forward and stands so close that his nose brushes yours, his eyes filled with fury. “Don’t get on my nerves!” he spits, drops of saliva landing on your face, but you resist the urge to flinch. “We need to go there and be back as soon as possible! I don’t expect you to understand but I’ve got better things to do then go on a fun little family outing.”

“Then why are we going in the first place?”

He grits his teeth and blinks. “Because you keep pleading to go,” he says. “And I hope it will finally stop your annoying whimpering about it.”

Your eyes widen. He doesn’t remember telling you about his ulterior motives last night. Quintus turns away to continue packing. 

Before you can decide whether you’d do best to keep it hidden that you know about it, the words already leave your lips. “You’re going to interrogate my brother about the letter I sent him.”

He halts in his movements and slowly turns to you, something unreadable on his features. In moments like these, he scares you the most. You would have avoided his gaze if it weren’t for the wave of confidence suddenly washing over you, though it fades just as fast as soon as his eyes lock with yours. 

“Honestly, (Y/n), I don’t think I can trust you anymore. That letter was very concerning to me and apparently, you don’t want to tell me about it, so I need to investigate myself.”

“You’ll find nothing,” you whisper, “And then you’ll pout, as you always do when you don’t get your way, because then you realise that our trip would have been for nothing and you’ll make me feel guilty for not convincing you enough.”

A warning finger hovers in the air as it points at you. 

“I’m already in a foul mood, (Y/n), and you’re incredibly close to making it a hundred times worse. Shut your mouth, know your place and do as I say!”

You shrink, as you often do when your heart breaks inside your chest, for Quintus is a stark contrast of a man who you love so deeply, who you perhaps could have been with in another life. Stepping back, you cast down your gaze and exit the room to find a servant to assist you. 

Telling two men to head up the stairs, you head further into the estate as they go to do so. In the kitchen, you find Gaius, bent over a pile of applications to take Matthew’s place. You reckon Quintus must have invited him in after work so that the Praetor can keep an eye on the process even in his off-duty hours. 

“Hello, Primi.” you greet him. He looks up and gives you a tight-lipped smile and nods in response. Taking a look over his shoulder, you see a Jewish name on the scroll.

“Ma’am,” Gaius finally verbalises, “Would you believe it? Matthew was being shunned for his position yet a dozen others are more than happy to take his place when it comes to it.”

You hum. “Men are fools in the face of money no matter where they come from, Gaius.”

Gaius mutters an affirmative reply and scribbles something down. 

“How did it happen?” you wonder, “His departure, I mean.”

The Primi lifts his pen and rests it in the inkwell. “Matthew?” 

“Yes.”

“Well, that Preacher walked by. Thought nothing of it at first, until He halted and turned around, calling for Matthew to follow Him. The kid gave me the key to his house, his ledger, everything. Even got his dog.”

Your brow furrows. “Oh. Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Gaius affirms. 

You chew your bottom lip and let out a small noise. “How peculiar.”

“It is going to be difficult to find a replacement that somehow matches his competence.”

Nodding in agreement, you sigh. “He is indeed very bright. But I hope he’ll be happy wherever he goes.” At that, Gaius frowns, then opens his mouth to speak yet immediately closes it again, deciding against whatever he was going to comment. Instead, he turns to you fully, the volume of his voice decreasing. 

“Forgive me if I am talking out of turn here, ma’am, but… That sounded like quite the disagreement upstairs.”

Your face pales and you swallow hard, finding something akin to pity in his eyes. “Beg your pardon?” you mutter. Gaius shakes his head, stuttering for a moment as he attempts to find the right words, holding up his hands in defence. 

“A-As I said I mean no disrespect, I just…”

“You just what, Gaius?” The nasal drawl of Quintus tears through the room and you inhale sharply at the sudden sound. “Go on, finish that sentence. Don’t you have your own wife back home to worry about, huh?” Hurt flashes behind the Primi’s eyes but your husband does not pick up on it - you do - and an apologetic sound leaves Gaius’ throat. 

“I-I’m deeply sorry for even mentioning it, Dominus.”

“It’s none of your business, Gaius.” Quintus snaps. “I don’t think I brought you in here to talk to my wife about my marriage. Take your things and leave us alone. When we return from Rome I expect you to have found a decent replacement for Matthew, or else you and I are going to have a chat of which you will certainly not enjoy the outcome.”

Gulping, Gaius bows his head in shame and whispers: “Yes, Dominus,” before taking up the scrolls and scurrying out of the house. 

“Can you believe his nerve?” Quintus scoffs, “And that from one of the best men around Capernaum. I mean, his performance is far from perfect, but I had expected way better from him.”

You step forward and put your hand on Quintus’ arm in the hopes it will calm him down. He sharply pivots but softens as soon as he realises that it is you and you force a smile on your features, giving him a reassuring look. “Perhaps that Gaius is having a hard day, too. After all, he needs to quickly find someone of an unmatched calibre to take over the booth. It must be stressful for him.”

A scowl spreads over his face. “Are you pitying him, (Y/n)? Come on, now. Don’t be stupid. Anyways, I’ve finished packing as well. We’ll leave after dinner. That way, we’ll be in Rome within two days, stay for three and leave again. Be back before the start of next week, hm?”

You keep your head down for the rest of the evening, eating in silence and listening to him ramble on about whatever keeps him busy. The slander about Jews as well as about the Preacher with the kind eyes slips off of you like water off a duck’s back, for you’ve already had your fill of your husband’s whining. Every so often, your gaze would go to the door, hoping that Atticus has found an excuse to come by regardless.

He does not, much to your dismay.

Quintus helps you inside the carriage before climbing in himself. It’s another kind of wagon compared to the one you previously travelled with, one with curtains on each side that you can pull shut around the roofed carriage, and memories flood back on your previous trip outside Capernaum. This one, however, was of way less delight and showed no trace of your wonderful lover whom you yearned to catch but a glimpse of. 

You travel through the dark with a decent amount of security around you. With the baby moving inside of you every so often, you feel exhaustion creep up. Once your eyelids are heavy, Quintus pats his shoulder so that you can rest against him. It is the first truly genuine domestic thing he has done for you in a long time and you accept his offer, for there is no other way to sleep.

The ride to the harbour is long, with drivers taking turns so that they can rest next to one another every so often, and at the crack of dawn, you watch how your belongings are loaded into the ship that carries goods for trade on the other side of the water. Quintus has arranged a decent hut for the two of you as you travel overseas, and you first snooze there for a while before starting to explore the upper deck, a scroll of parchment under your arm. 

The vessel has already departed when you finally sit down with your back against a barrel overlooking the vast expanse of the Mare Magnum . With the wind positively in its sails, the ship tears across the water easily. Under its salty scent and the pad of sandals around you, you gaze out over the waves with narrowed eyes, an almost genuine smile tugging at your lip upon the sensation of warm sunlight stinging your face. If Atticus had been here, would he be sitting next to you, holding your hand as he’d tell you countless stories about his adventures at sea as a Cohortes Urbanae? You aren’t even sure if his work entails him partaking in such environments, but you like to think that he can tell you something interesting about everything .

Quintus appears in your field of vision and blocks the sunlight from you so that you are now cast within a shadow of his form, and you look up at him with an expression that shows indignance. “Darling,” he greets, way softer than the way he had regarded you earlier today, and he holds out his hand. “Walk with me.” It is not a request but rather an order, so you allow him to help you up, an involuntary grunt leaving you at the discomfort of your belly. 

The Praetor holds out his arm and casts an expectant glance your way, and you don’t have any choice but to cradle your fingers around the inside of his elbow. The pair of you head over to the bow of the ship in silence, patrolling and working guards stepping out of your way with cautious frowns on their brow, before halting at the railing to look out over the water. There is sea for as far as the eye reaches and you wonder how long it will take to reach the other side, even though you’ve gone on this same route months ago, albeit to Capernaum that time, and you realise that a whole year of living there is steadily closing in on you. 

You rest your hands on the wood and sigh, inhaling the fresh air that makes your mind feel at ease, as if the wind rips away the intrusive thoughts of what would happen if you were to push Quintus over the edge of the ship into the unforgiving waves below, or if you’d be strong enough to do so. It drifts away to Atticus instead so that you can block out your husband standing so close to you, watching you from the corner of his eye.

“You look very beautiful like that.” Quintus says. He’s worlds apart from where he was yesterday evening and it takes you aback every time just how fickle he is. “I… I apologise for yelling at you yesterday.” Warily, you look at him, awaiting the catch regarding his pardon. “I trust that there is no reason to address this to your siblings nor your father, hm?” There it is. He is attempting to convince you not to mention his abusive behaviour to your family. 

Although, you are certain that if your father knew, he wouldn’t even care to begin with. Even worse, you’re convinced he’d take Quintus’ side. In hindsight, he treated your mother in the exact same way, albeit with less bruises on her limbs and brow.

“Okay,” you reply after a long silence, not exactly promising him to keep your mouth shut yet enough for him to smile and put a hand on the small of your back. 

“I do not tell you often enough that I love you. You know that, right? That I love you. Sometimes you might think that I do not, but I say these things for your own good. You’re a woman. You don’t know how the world works.”

You force back the nausea that builds up inside your throat. Whereas you’re surprised that you’re not struggling with how much the ship is teetering across the sea, your husband’s words seem to evoke that same bodily aversion altogether. Thickly swallowing, you force a smile on your face. 

“I felt the baby move yesterday.” It is a successful attempt to divert his attention from the fact that you haven’t replied to his statement and his eyes widen. A rare, genuine smile spreads across his features and you are filled with immense grief at the notion that you’d much rather share this news with Atticus instead, and you wonder how his face would have lit up upon said news.

“Truly?” Quintus mutters with an ajar mouth, “That means my son is healthy. Praise Juno!” He laughs and a few soldiers cast curious glances your way at the sound. His hand settles on your tummy before you can shy away from it and you gulp at how tightly he grips you – how possessive he still is – and his other hand cradles your jaw. “Everything will be alright.” he tells you, “We are going to raise such a strong soldier together. He’ll be a Governor one day. I’ll be remembered as the father of a great asset to the Roman Empire.” 

It is always about himself. 

“Come, come darling.” Quintus says when you don’t reply, and he ushers you in front of him so that you can look out over the water. He wraps his arms around you from behind and his kiss that lands against the side of your neck makes you want to hunch over the railing to throw up, but you force it down. 

As he embraces you, your heart breaks inside your chest as Rome draws ever closer. 

Luckily, he doesn’t see the tears that leak across your cheeks, disturbed by the wind.

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