#did someone miss me?
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Been rewatching HB and I am haunted by the passing gag in episode 2 where it shows Blitzo working at Loo Loo Land at the same time that Octavia visited as a child.
#helluva boss#blitzo#helluva fanart#hellaverse#octavia goetia#like i need to know more#how long did blitz work there?? did he just have near misses with stolas the whole time he was visiting with Via?#someone give me loo loo land part 2 i need answers
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I think it’s kind of messed up how we only find out that Rook was stuck in the fade for weeks at the end of the game through Bellara’s romance path and it’s not mentioned anywhere else
#I just saw a post about it and what do you mean it was weeks????#Did I miss something? Someone please tell me I miss something#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#veilguard spoilers
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Carry me home
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#final fantasy 14#ff14#haurchefant greystone#haurchefant x wol#haurchewol#ffxiv wol#ffxiv spoilers#heavensward spoilers#final fantasy xiv spoilers#tinydraws#let me know if i’m missing any spoiler tags#tagging seems like it would be an easy and straightforward thing but also. i’m stupid.#anyway i choose to believe that Rowan carried him back to the manor#even if someone tells me otherwise i will not believe them#also i choose to believe that these two had it bad for each other#neither of them said anything but everyone could tell lol#haurche specifically was very Not Subtle in his displays of affection#and Rowan for the most part picked up on it#not everything cuz she's still in the midst of working on accepting any amount of companionship. but like. most.#and went ‘honestly.... if i told him i liked him it would probably go well. We just have so much stuff to deal with; now’s not a good time'#and then the time came and went :’)#and Rowan went ‘Did….. did he know? Did he Know how much I loved him? did he KNOW???????’#and then she grieved behind closed doors away from everyone#and also tried to replace said grief by focusing a lil too hard on her duties#idk i’m still working out WOL lore but this is what i got so far lol#or at least in regards to haurche
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i feel like many people use "straight"...wrong
it's used a lot to mean cis, het, allo, perisex, etc.
basically just not lgbtq+ at all
but that's not true
trans people can be straight and lgbtq+
intersex people can be straight and lgbtq+
neopronoun users can be straight and lgbtq+
arospec people can be straight and lgbtq+
acespec people can be straight and lgbtq+
polyamorous people can be straight and lgbtq+
genderfluid, bigender, and other gender non-conforming people can be straight and lgbtq+
people who are biromantic, panromantic, etc. and heterosexual or vice versa are still lgbtq+
and there are so many more identities that can absolutely be both
straight does not mean not lgbtq+
#queer#lgbtq+#queer pride#trans#neopronouns#aromantic#asexual#polyamorous#genderfluid#bigender#biromantic#not a rant#and please don't come at me if i missed something#or did something wrong#i really tried to include most people i could think of#if you have a suggestion lmk but pls don't attack me#:)#i think someone has said something like this before#and if anyone could find the og post that'd be cool#cuz i was thinking about that post a lot while doing this#lgbtq+ pride#babna 😨#intersex
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They are constantly on my mind 24/7. I literally can't get them OuT of my hEad-
...Yup... I'm screwed-
Triad Au belongs to @novelcain
Vault Hunters AU & Eternal Servants AU belongs to @emelinstriker
Twice As Bad AU & Monster Boyfriend belongs to @semisolidmind
Bone King Au belongs to @ninjasmudge
Cross belongs to @jakei95
#you did this to me#sometimes my friend is even concerned whenever I daydream (all the time) lol#I'm like utterly smitten ahgfhgfhfjfsf#lmk x reader#sun wukong x reader#macaque x reader#liu'er mihou x reader#sans x reader#murder drones x reader#Undertale#Lego monkie kid#rottmnt x reader#Rottmnt#bill cipher x reader#Gravity falls#Bone King Au#Twice As Bad AU#Triad AU#lego monkie kid x reader#cross x reader#leonardo x reader#donatello x reader#also like I literally have exam next week#it was suppose to be in mid August but the goverment for some reason rescheduled the date last minute so I'm frickin screwed-#...anyways time for me to crawl back into my hole again-#also lemme know if I miss something or someone in the credits#monster boyfriend
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Guys real question why noone talks about this picture
#like why tf did i need to find it myself#on f1 official acc on twt#absolutely randomly#how did everyone miss this when it happened#like#i was screaming for five minutes when i found it#loscar#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#please someone talk to me about this 🙏
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hey, remember being 18 years old and playing mass effect for the first time and it's got this like intense aura of being very small and very insignificant in a very big, very empty galaxy? remember playing mass effect for the first time and everything all of this is so new and mysterious, and it's 2am and you're sitting in a dark room in the light from your tv and you're playing through feros for the first time and you feel that this is someting very old and very ancient and you are somewhere you shouldn't be and you don't know what's going to happen or where you're going but you keep on. there's a tingling in your stomach and you're playing mass effect for the first time. the thorian is a milennia old sentient plant being. the rachni queen is old and telepathic and a hive mind and in pain. sovereign is an ancient machine that has not been built but is, and has always been, and this is something so alien and so unlike and beyond anything your human mind can comprehend, and this is something unexplainable and huge and as uncaring and indifferent as the empty galaxy around you. you're playing mass effect for the first time and you're walking on the surface of an almost completely empty planet with nothing but your two companions silently walking beside you and everything is so huge and empty and silent and you're so small and insignificant and it's so beautiful and so scary and you feel like you are on a rollercoaster about to drop down. you are playing mass effect for the first time and you're playing the mission on the moon and you stop and just look up at earth visible in the sky. you know this. this is home. you are playing mass effect for the first time, and the galaxy is so big, and you are so tiny, and everything is about to change for you.
#mass effect#wild rambles#i miss the feeling of playing that game for the first time#now i know everything and it isn't as mysterious and alluring anymore#getting lost in the tunnels on feros is one of my memories of all time. it just felt like... i was meant to get lost. there's Something her#i love the whole trilogy but man me1 really did have that sci-fi interstellar type of feeling the other two don't#also later they retconned the reapers as having actually been built by someone as opposed to ''this is so alien you can't understand it.#this is a machine without a creator. it has always existed. you are not meant to understand. this is so much bigger than you.''#which i really liked a lot more but like. whatever. im not in charge. they wanted to make things more palatable to the human mind when i#think the cosmic horror aspect of the reapers in me1 was one of the things that affected me the most#and made me stay with the series for as long as i did
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guilt.
for what? (you pray it wasn't something important)
#submas#is it better or worse to lose your memories i wonder?#on one hand. it's a fresh slate. you can mold yourself into someone New. someone free and kind and who you wish to be.#one the other. who were you? what did you do? who did you leave behind?#were you a good person? (would anyone miss you if you were gone?)#anywayss#the inspiration for this piece made me lose so much sleep but i finished it two days ahead of my own schedule so whatever 💃#ingo#emmet#warden ingo#submas emmet#submas ingo#my art
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I find it very realistic that Megumi wants to try to live for someone else again instead of for himself directly. I mean it. It will take him a long time to recover from what he has suffered, which was too much for a child (because he is still a child!!). At first I thought Megumi was going to pick himself up, but looking at it from another perspective and analyzing my own experience with mental health: it makes sense. Megumi needs help. And he will get it. Yuuji and his friends will teach him to live for himself. The ending of Megumi's character is a new beginning, unlike the others.
Btw, did y'all notice his scars are Sukuna's? The way i'd kms on the spot, poor boy :( he's going to live with the curse of remembering every time he looks on the mirror
#he's so precious#i missed him#so so much#he grew up in a negligent house just to be taken by a complete stranger who only cherised his powers#he lost yuuji which was the only thing he was probably egoistic about in his whole life and then when yuuji came back he was so relieved#he lost everyone again and was severely abused#how do ppl expect him to recover in five minutes?#seriously did ppl expect to get out of sukuna's body and see life is worth? of course not he needs help and he's getting it#:')#he will get better thanks to his friends and grow#to deal with someone like Megumi you need to be very understanding#like yuuji is#btw if you see someone struggling with mental health please be this patient#thanks to the people who picked me up and understood me when i was at my lowest#jujutsu kaisen#@meyers#megumi fushiguro#itadori yuuji#itafushi#jjk 268#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers
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may you find peace 🌾
#my art#it was so funny posting this on Twitter because not long after I posted it someone said ‘this is great#also I think you’re missing a child’#i just thought ‘wait…no….did I?’ and so i re-watched the part in episode 5 where you see finn and his kids#and then i saw them!!#the neptr looking child!#i had watched the episode two times but somehow my brain just…did not perceive the child#another comment jokingly said ‘’not the neptr looking kid getting neptr’d’ and it made me laugh#another person sweetly said ‘don’t worry#they’re taking the picture!’#i enjoyed those interactions#thank you everyone for liking and supporting my work#it’s a joy#adventure time#fionna and cake#finn mertens#finn the human#fanart
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Transcript:
EW.
Machine, what the fuck?
That’s so gross! That’s so disgusting!
What’s wrong with you machine?!
Why are you like that?
It’s- it’s kinda hot though. Do it- do it again.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#machine guts 😳#haha noo dont remove your plating and ask me to feel you from the inside haha omgg what if someone sees us#COUGHS. anyway............................................... im back from da jungle#what did i miss
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#critical role#cr lb#ygifs#imogen#and now I'm like did imogen have her own reason for not even going near the raven queen did she pray to her for her mother#thinking her mother was dead was gone and the goddess of death had her and it was just a little girl praying at her bedside#take care of her mother. tell her how much she misses her. she misses her so much. and the raven queen never answered#and she could find no comfort not even in a deity who brought eternal rest there was no solace. and there was no correction#did she pick a god and pray? for her mother to come back. for her father not to hate her. for someone to look at her like shes not a monste#that all this time this certified atheist to have zero interest in the gods or helping them not because she genuinely didn't care#but because once upon a time the little girl she used to be cared so much. and prayed so hard. never seeing the red veil around her#damning her from the grace of the gods#and isn't that just what a monster deserves#not even a gracious god will find you special enough you feel like nothing to them because you are nothing to them#and it's like is that true or is such an evil force preventing their light and it's like I'm chewing but I'm choking#I had to stop looking at laura's face because it was making me too craaazzzyy she'd just be like (bafta) and I'd be like (SCREAMING)#hey matt if this is a birdcall to make imogen a paladin tweet tweet beautiful man
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
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tell me where it hurts, i’ll lick it better
#fanart#bbc merlin#merlin#art#merlin art#procreate#artist#merlin fanart#arthur pendragon#merlin emrys#my art#lowkey did not like how arthur turned out so ur not getting him 😊 lol#i miss them#they pain me#mentally#me when merthur dog symbolism 👹🤧🤧😡😡🤬🤯🤯😳🤨🤨😓😓😓🤨#background#i miss them again.#i miss them forever#someone ask me for my merthur playlist i will share with the world
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