#did not mean for it to end sad
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Headcanon: Tim checks Bernard's pulse, a lot.
Bernard knows that he was not supposed to notice, but he can't help himself.
Tim checks his pulse. Like a worrying number of times.
Although the action in itself, Bernard shouldn't find it too alarming. It's Gotham for pete's sake, Bernard will proudly bark out laugh at you if you call yourself a Gotham native and NOT know how to CPR/check someone's pulse. It's just that Bernard feel like it's another small detail that cements the fact Tim is Red Robin. Tim's life was supposed to be a sunshine n' rainbows, dazzling, glamorous and fairly safe world of the rich or famous, but no one from that world should check a person's pulse with that much confidence and effectiveness. Tim checks Bernard's pulse like every fiber of his being was trained to.
Oh another thing that bothers Bernard is that Tim m typically checks Bernard's pulse when it's a quiet moment.
And those moments become the loudest that Bernard felt.
***
At the time, Bernard is too tired to move his study session back to his room. Add in the the combination of Tim's harsh lamp light glaring at him for the past 4 hours and lack of Monster drinks, his eyes deserves a much needed break. So, Bernard is just happy to accept his fate of laying down on Tim's very inviting soft couch.
Bernard soon loses himself to the fuzzy feeling of the boathouse that slightly rocks his body. His legs readjusts to the boats motion and Bernard hugs himself together to roll with the movement better. Bernard hummed at the moment he realizes that a storm must be coming and must be the one causing rocking.
Huh, Tim should really put some more rocker stoppers. Bernard curled farther into the couch at that thought.
Within a half of hour later, Bernard sleepily heard some commotion outside. Throughout the next hour, the boat slowly stopped rocking. Bernard curled towards the couch and it's pillows, silently mourning the lack of soothing rocking.
A window opens.
Rain comes in.
A couple of steps towards Bernard's self claimed study mess area.
A click of the lamp's switch being turned off.
A lot more steps.
A series of clicks and zips echos throughout the small boat.
A shower turns on.
After a good while, the shower turns off.
A wet towel has been dropped, rustle of clothing.
Steps going towards to the couch, to himself, Bernard.
Bernard is not delusional, he knew that there was a good chance that Tim would still be on that week long "business trip" a little bit longer than he did he would. That Bernard would have a lot better chance of seeing Tim in their favorite breakfast restaurant tomorrow than Tim surprising Bernard by crashing into study session in own boathouse at this afternoon.
But the buzzing feeling of Tim of brushing the back of his hair was so addictive that he couldn't help but thank his lucky stars that he was a bit impatient today.
As Tim sinks into the couch and curls into Bernard, the his brushing of Bernard's hair turns into his hand skimming to Bernard's neck.
Bernard had to stop himself to chuckling from the ticklish feeling, but he did let himself reply with a hum. Bernard reached and stuck the Tim's wandering hand on his neck and turned around.
"Hey"
"Hey, yourself."
And that's when Bernard felt it. Bernard knows that Tim's other hand was supposed to be comforting and distracting Bernard by brushing his hair, but the brush of his neck turned to a soft press. The distraction would have worked it if it weren't for the vulnerability of Tim's eyes, he would have missed it. The look in Tim's eyes, makes Bernard wrap his arms and legs around him.
"Are you okay?"
Bernard wants to laugh, of course Tim asks him as of he doesn't have the eyes of a veteran soldier that just relived through their personal hell.
"Yeah, are you okay?"
"Hmm, just stressing about the company."
Tim pulls away, as he does, his hand travels away from Bernard's neck and on to his face. He rubs little circles on Bernard's face. Tim smiles.
Bernard wants to cry.
#timbern#tim x bernard#bernard dowd#i am so tired#I just wanted to write like two or three sentences and then this happens#did not mean for it to end sad#dont worry they will have that happy breakfast date tomorrow
263 notes
·
View notes
Text
New blorbo :)
Also a silly interaction with this piece
#cardcaptor sakura#eriol hiiragizawa#I wish I had the big hat big robe flowy cape drip. I wish#spoilers so don’t read further if you haven’t reached the end of sakura (looking at you whery)#but I enjoy him immensely and it makes me so sad to see how much he’s shipped with tomoyo#in old fanfics and stuff I mean.#like I don’t agree sometimes with the show’s direction of romantic relationships (rika and terada sensei come to mind)#but to me tomoyo is a diehard lesbian and you cannot convince me she’d be happy with Eriol#that aside I do think eriol is the most fascinating character and also a dead ringer for most of the traits I like in characters lmao.#if I had a nickel for every time I enjoyed a character who is mature for his age and has more power than he knows what to do with#I think a character study on him would be cool#like when did he realize he wasn’t aging. was his aging restricted because of his magic or an intentional choice from the memories of clow.#where does clow end and eriol begin and how much does memory contribute to identity#I’d really like to see a fic just about his interactions with fujitaka and the kinomoto family as well
560 notes
·
View notes
Text
wolfwood redraws (ID in alt text)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#going to be talking vol 9 spoilers in here pls do not read if u have not read it!!#wolfwood my beloved. he's such a battle genius with such strong survival instincts and incentive to fight. it makes me so sad but also#it's just the way he's been able to live for as long as he has [explodes]#midvalley calling him a demon/devil (iforget which word) and livio being like “victory seems impossible” when faced against him aughhh AUGH#he's clearly not invincible - vol 8 proved that when he almost did get beat if not for vash swooping back in... but the way he carries#the battles really makes it feel like it. especially whenever he “revives” for the sake of protecting another person. i.e. him getting#back up to defeat livio - him battered and worn from the fight but then pushing his body to get up when chapel aimed at the orphanage#and then despite the blood gushing out of him he still regained cautiousness to defend razlo at the end.... ugh.... ugh.....#anyway... i love how nightow draws ww - these were fun to do. ive been meaning to do these redraws esp from vol 9/10#and maybe ill go back to do redraws from his previous fights. all and all i just need to get down how he uses the punisher properly#ruporas art
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Imo Tubbo and Fit are a very underrated dynamic (lore-wise atleast)
Every time they talked about lore stuff there was sm tension, i miss it so much. Fit wanting to help but not being able to tell the truth vs Tubbo knowing Fit is lying to him and being rightfully suspicious,, AARGH
They were so good at miscommunication… gone but not forgotten
I'm very sad they never got to make up in the end, Tubbo never knew the truth. ----- Fit: One day, you will understand everything. Tubbo: Do you mean that? Fit: Of course i do.
Fit: If he knew why I was really here, he'd fucking hate me. Everyone would.
#qsmp#tubbo#fitmc#tubbo's 'do you mean that?' sounds so sad im AAAGRGR#'too many questions' AARGHHH like tubbo always knows which questions to ask hes so good at getting info out of people#no one did miscommunication like these 2#thinking abt their conversation after Q kidnapped Fred#Tubbo explaining happy pills ending to Fit#EVERY LORE CONVO THESE 2 HAVE IS SOOO GOOD#qfit emotional walls vs qtubbo believing everyone is doomed to leave him#FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
238 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fit: Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!
Pac: I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...
Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–
Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...
Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.
Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.
Fit: You're good, you're good.
[Full Transcript ↓ ]
—
Tina: Wow, the radius for that is huge.
Pac: [Steps on a mine and gets blown up] Whoa!
Fit: Oh, those are all mines, arent' they? Those are all mines, you bastard.
Aypierre: Let- let- let me fix this road... [He starts placing blocks]
Foolish: See? This is why mines need to be allowed, they're too fun.
Fit: [Laughs]
Pac: Yeah, actually.
Aypierre: Look, look– it's perfect, it's perfect.
Pac: [Steps on one of the blocks Aypierre placed, which was a mine, and immediately blows up]
Fit: Pac! No, Pac–! NOOO!!!
Pac: [Laughs and then shouts at Aypierre]
Aypierre: Where are you, Pac?
[Time skip]
Foolish: Did you get your stuff, Tina?
Tina: I will... I'll find a way... [She steps on a mine and blows up] AAAAAAAAA–
[Fit and Pac laugh]
Tina: PLEASE!
Fit: Those are all mines!
Tina: No, please! My stuff! I gotta go– [She gets lit on fire and screams again] PLEASE!
Pac: God damnnit!
Tina: Please, I just want my stuff back!
[They all laugh]
Fit: Jesus.
Tina: I'm gonna go get it! I'm gonna get it! Aghhhh–
Foolish: [Jumping in after Tina] Wait, there could be another landmine!
Tina: I want my things, Foolish!!!
Pac: [Jumps in too and steps on a landmmine, which immediately downs him] AAAAA!!!
Fit: Sht– Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!
Pac: [Overlapping with Fit] I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...
Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–
Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...
Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.
Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.
Fit: You're good, you're good.
Tina: Oh god... I'm scared, I'm scared!
Foolish: You did it!
#Pactw#FitMC#Hideduo#FitPac#QSMP#Fit#Pac#Foolish Gamers#Tinakitten#Tina#Foolish#Aypierre#September 11 2023#One year ago today!#I've been meaning to edit this for ages but I was very *cat with shotgun* at anything even REMOTELY sad about Hideduo for a while#And I didn't want this clip to encourage anything#My heart is still very fragile glass about them but I'm better at muting stuff if it's too sad for me#That being said I don't understand why people STILL insist Pac is dead in canon???#Like bro I know we all hated the finale but he very much did not die. He and Mike both came back in their typical goofy ass cartoony way#Well. With a little bit of Federation science horror on Pac's end but you know#Anyways. ''You're not going to heaven!'' very funny line out of context#also it KILLS me that I don't have a higher quality clip of this stream from Pac's POV#hence the crunchy Pac cam
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
75 notes
·
View notes
Note
still cannot get over the fact that in game hank and connor know each other for 3 days, 3 and a half tops? like, how do you have such an effect on someone you've literally just met? they met evening of nov 5th and last chance connor is nov 9th, yet they have all those scenes that make it seem like they've been attached at the hip for the last five years, at the minimum? countless times where they have a chance to kill each other? in 3 days?? i want to leave such a bold impression on ppl i meet irl
i think about this all the time!! still recovering from the whiplash of it. And doesn't Partners through to The Bridge all happen in 24 hours??? that's bananas!
In the space of 24 hours Hank goes from "be a good little robot and get outta here before i crush you like an empty beer can", to bringing the robot to a sentimental spot possibly because he is aching to share his trauma with someone but this comfortably doesn't count because connor "isn't real" although he kind of wants him to be real, or at least show some sign that connor thinks the android and connor situation is messed up too, and so tries to force an existential crisis on him by pointing a gun at him and asking him if he's afraid to die and what he thinks will come after.
*big inhale*
AND THEN,, then after those 3 or so days, Amanda or Connor-60 or whichever cyberlife exec is pulling their strings recognise that Hank is Connor's Achille's Heel. After 3 days of bickering and throwing tantrums at each other and forcing each other to confront their respective crises and playing dress-up-lieutenant. and so they essentially use Hank as the kidnapped damsel in distress to sabotage Connor's involvement in the revolution.
OR they try to kill each other to death in the most This Is Personal fight i've ever seen.
they really did a number on each other in those few days, for better or worse. and the same thing is happening in Markus' and Kara's stories but the constant high stakes survival drama of theirs makes the bonds and conflicts seem more appropriate in terms of intensity. whereas hank and connor are kind of just hanging out for half of it.. but boy is it intense.
(agh I'm DYING to make a joke rn that pokes fun at the way they immediately stopped being Just Hank and Just Connor like 1 day in and became Hank & Connor instead... But that "joke" is also some fanart i started a while back and i still need to have that reason to finish it lol. but just know im currently the meme of that guy straining so hard the veins in his head are bulging)
#Sorry you caught me in yapper mode#also did not mean to leave out the sad Hank route but its like my brain just straight up didnt consider that an ending for them for a minut#lmao
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Spread across the comforter are their film strips from the photo corner at the dance... A full size picture of the four of them signing their team letter to the camera with huge smiles on their faces."
On the Run from Tomorrow, ch. 17
Last chap's up. I am getting so horribly emotional trying to write a note here, so just...
JNPR 💛🧡❤️💚 Forever
#rwby#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#team jnpr#rwby fanart#nora is on an apple crate and pyrrha and jaune are crouching by the way; ren's just standing#so i started drawing the whole shrine but i could simply not finish it; i realized i did need to draw this and while it is bitter sweet#it did not hit me as emotionally badly as the shrine did so i decided to make this the end illustration for now#i think i will finish the shrine later this year maybe#i was able to work on this for a few hours before getting too sad unlike the shrine#they are so happy. i drew their expressions on a separate layer so i could turn them off when i got too sad#they were so happy together. they mean everything to me. they don't deserve any of the bad things that have ever happened to them#this moment though. frozen in time. on top of the world. nothing bad has ever happened ever and they're happy#gods. they're happy. just for a moment in time.#fuck im crying again.#anyway enjoy im gonna go sob in a fucking corner#poa! jnpr#kina draws
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
145 notes
·
View notes
Text
The key to enjoying movies is to go into them with extremely low expectations
#I had a great time in the theater#quibbles and all#I did expect more affection from Eddie#but I'm not surprised they didn't want to alienate dudebros#if I'd gone into the tag before watching I'd be way more disappointed#I expected the plot holes and ridiculousness#all I wanted was a vorse and dancing Mrs. Chen and I got it!#everything else is gravy#though that end sequence was strange and Eddie should have freaked out more but hey#but I was more disappointed by the majority of the symbrock in Carnage but rationalized that away#of course the Carnage button helped#venom 3#venom the last dance spoilers#anyway i don't mean to be negative i had a great time but am sad
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
they were so funny for this
#bbc atlantis#ok but its so funny cause they made a huge thing about medusa being doomed because shes called medusa and we all know how that story ends#and it did it ended in tragedy she couldnt escape being a monster and it was so sad#and then theyre introducing a character called icarus and its like we all know how that story goes#and suddenly hes on top of a building wearing a pair of wings and your acutely aware of what that means and all the tension of is he#gonna die is that whats gonna happen#and then they take away all of that tension by being like its nighttime lol.#dont even worry about it#and then not 2 minutes later hes kissing a guy on the lips. amazing. no ones doing it like the atlantis writers
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shoutout to this draft I made a couple hours ago when I suddenly had an epiphany for how I could fix a part of my story and I was so excited that the only way I could express it is to write whatever this is but I couldn’t post it because I didn’t have internet
also it got marked as mature for some reason
#mood honestly#OHHH OHH. WA#there is pure happiness behind those words#I don’t know if I’ll keep the idea that I came up with but it’s so much better than what I had before#ties up loose ends while also keeping it vague like I wanted mmmm#and the ending isn’t super depressing now!!! sort of!!!#it is Not final so I won’t yap about it just yet but#I think I might be able to give gourdie a somewhat happy ending….that is all I wanted…..yes…..#cause like damn at first she was just miserable by the end with no happiness in sight. which didn’t really match the rest of the story#cause it’s more so lighthearted even when there’s like. death and stuff#like. bad shit happens but it’s not an emotionally charged angsty story#if people do find it sad despite the jokey tone then all the better because that means I can have my cake and eat it too#but my point is simply that Gourdie’s ending did NOT match up with anything else#she was just left completely depressed by the end#BUT I CAN FIX IT. I THINK. STILL WORKINH IT OUT IN MY MIND#TRYING TO MAKE SURE IT WOULDNT RETCON ANYTHING PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED#perhaps it makes the ending a bit less impactful but who tf thinks I’m going for impact!!!#gourdie gets to mysteriously disappear too. as a treat.#and it also plugs that plot hole…yes….good…..#I’m just rambling at this point hey guys how ya doin#pdbc#not a pikmin post#more pdbc posts are coming cause I spent like 4 hours today writing#by that I mean like. 4 hours of just trying to fix the ending. but I kinda did it soooo#point is I rarely have scripts for certain sections and I now have a script for a sliver of a section so that’s a win#this is a huge wall of text uhhhh#I’ve been yapping about pdbc an unhealthy amount lately and I’ll never stop#my friend wants to know the lore as well so I’ll have to find a way to explain it all to her#< it’ll be easier for her to understand actually cause of reasons#anyway I’ll shut up now bye bye
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
pretty bird, pretty bird, i know youre hurting but so am i
#betty grof#magic woman#adventure time#do you think betty took a moment to really take in the fact that magic EXISTS and its not just nebulous its a force of nature in the world#or#did she immediately leap into it as a means to an end#a tool to use for her goal#no time to process the beauty and strangeness of this new world gotta cure simon#or did she spend even a moment during that long year wondering what the future would b like if she accomplished her goal#did she give herself time to reckon with her newfound powers and madness/sadness?#did she see? did she explore? did she allow herself to get excited by this new interesting world?#or did betty just have tunnel vision?#i think about it.
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
S1 Keeley with a boyfriend she genuinely likes and has fun with (the first one in ages) and is maybe even starting to love, even though she hadn’t ever planned on falling in love with him, and this was only supposed to be PR, right (probably), and he isn’t even the right material for a longterm thing anyway (unless he could be?) only for him to go and break their carefully woven trust and demonstrate that he really is more the arsehole everyone else keeps telling her he is, rather than the person he's been to her (the one who, sure, has an ego through the roof, but who's also funny and kind and ambitious and brave) in one fell swoop. To have to wonder if she’s been blind this whole time to who he really is, and to be made to feel like a total idiot because of how he treated her, and then to decide firmly that no, he is good and he is trying, and then to make the choice to continue to be there for him and help him when he asks...
Late S1/S2 Keeley with a different boyfriend, and this one she's certain she loves, and he could most definitely be longterm material with only a little polishing, in fact she's pretty sure this is it, and she's going to see this man through to his shine, because he's worth it. Even as he spirals in retirement and even as they hurt each other in small ways that eventually start to add up into something bigger, she keeps believing things will get better and they both will do better, because the little life they've been building is worth it. Or it has been, up until he goes and breaks up with her and doesn't even give her the courtesy of presenting something passable as a reason, even as he's turned into a stranger before he's fully out the door. And then they're barely talking and she's heartbroken and she knows she probably went wrong somewhere in there, too, but he never told her how and she's too tired to pick apart all the whys, and she's mad at him but it's difficult to even hold space for that anger because she misses him....
S3 Keeley Jones who stumbles into another new thing, and it's not going to be anything serious (unless it could be), and she's still grieving the last one (maybe the last two?) (but this will be different, really) and Rebecca's telling her she isn't certain this is a good thing (but Rebecca never liked Jamie, either, and Jamie's turned out all right, hasn't he). Her new girlfriend flying her on extravagant dates and flooding her with extravagant gifts and making Keeley feel appreciated, like all the time she's put in is finally being recognized, makes her feel worthy of love (she only wants to be loved. she wants people to stop leaving.) Even as her new girlfriend announces their relationship to the entire office (and sure, it's a little sticky, being that her girlfriend is also her boss, and it makes Keeley feel a little uncomfortable, actually, having all those eyes on her, her employees, but she pushes it aside because Jack isn't afraid to acknowledge her, to make it known that she likes her, to stick with her, and that's something). It's something until it isn't, anyway. Until she only acknowledges Keeley where she wants to, to the people she wants to. Until she leaves, too, and takes Keeley's funding with her. And then Keeley is left to feel like the clueless one again, the idiot for not spotting it coming all along.
And she's making stupid decisions again (sleeping with exes just to get the chance to feel someone), and Jamie and Roy are weirdly close now, and isn't that just flipping great. somehow she missed that, too. And she's the one who made them both better!! they never would have turned out like this if she hadn't been pushing them towards it all along, and now they're there without her, which really doesn't seem fucking fair and definitely sucks. And she's maybe still a little (a lot) in love with both of them, but then they're demanding she choose between them like quarreling stupid schoolboys, and she doesn't even want to choose and she wants both of them at the same time she wants neither of them and then there's still the sticky business of rebuilding her firm with what Jack did still sitting so raw in her chest (and it was never that serious anyway, so why does it bother her so much? why does everything bother her so much?)
(im gnawing at my enclosure)
#anyway. JUSTICE FOR KEELEY JONES.#(which is not to say that she's this divine victim either. obviously she makes a ton of her own mistakes.)#but god did the writers do her dirty by failing to dive in to her messy headspace in any effective way#and by god does the fandom often do her dirty now by reducing her to 1) Favorite Male Characters Girlfriend#or 2) GirlBoss Slay Sunshine Never Sad Never Mean Never Unkind#or 3) Manipulative Hypocritical Ex Who Refuses All Accountability Whilst Getting in the Way of Popular M/M Ship#it's like the holy trilogy of dramatically different but equally horrible fanon characterizations#(also this is why her ending the series by choosing herself is deeply important to me. & I don't understand why#more people don't see it for the moment of emotional growth and deep personal breakthrough that it is)#holy shit#okay#/rant over#ted lasso#keeley jones
59 notes
·
View notes