#did i watch all of it yesterday night?
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also i caught up with trigun stampede and i’m now officially in love with vash, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, we all saw this coming
#chatter spell#before watching it was only unofficial#sure i fell in love the second i laid eyes on him#he’s very much my type#but now that i know more about him#i’m just#*head in hands*#did i watch all of it yesterday night?#yes#yes i did
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good morning & happy friday friendz !! we have made it to the end of the week yipeee !! hoping today treats everyone kindly and that we can start off the weekend right !! 🤍 gentle reminder that you are loved, you are adored, you are appreciated. i’m happy you’re here !!
#ruh roh mushy yap alert 🚨#telling the moon + all of the stars to look out for you guys 🤍💫#yesterday was kinda wonky but i’m bouncing back up and ready to gooooo !!!#needed these reminders so i thought i’d share because it’s the truth !!!!#i’m so very eepy today and i have a feeling that my coworkers drank the last of my coffee while i was out yesterday ><#so i might have to buy an energy drink mweheheh … >:3#i was supposed to post the ace fic yesterday oop it’s almost done !! it’ll be probably queued up for tonight or tmro depending#i was writing it last night and did NOT want to go to sleep !! just wanna write sigh . 🤍#okay let me skedaddle !! i shall be popping in laterrr !! anytime my boss looks away mwehehe#bc i am constantly Watched at work and it bugs me so bad guys#limited silly time 😔🫶#OKAY I LOVE U TYYL !#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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me when the dissociation causes memory loss: *surprised Pikachu*
#blue chatter#listen. LISTEN. usually when I dissociate I remember a LITTLE bit#like. I am distant from my body and I feel fuzzy and lose time rly easily#but there’s lil hook events that will pull me a little closer and I’ll remember like. impressions of them. before I can move/react to them.#USUALLY this means I’ll remember receiving ice from my roommate as a grounding tool even if I don’t ’snap out of it’#but APPARENTLY yesterday my brain was on the dissociation train for TOO LONG#bc not only did I forget that one of my roommates went upstairs until well after he’d left#but apparently my roommate gave me ice. and I held it. and put it in my mouth. and I don’t remember that AT ALL.#like. not even a sense of when that happened or what else must have been going on that I forgot#I don’t know where that blank spot is in the timeline of ‘spaced the fuck out’#which. again. happened for OVER THREE HOURS off and on.#I know that we were watching Bob’s Burgers and that my roommate told me that I missed a full episode all in a row#but I don’t know which episode#because I don’t fully remember *any* of them#bc I was in and out all night#*screams*#why can’t my brain be normal!#I know what triggered this most likely. I had therapy yesterday and I have an exam today that I’m really nervous about#and I did homework for three hours yesterday after therapy so I didn’t have a long rest period afterwards like I usually do#*flops on the ground* when will my brain return from the war for good…#this better not fucking happen on Friday I have to drive places
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local woman gets two consecutive weeks off work, immediately starts experiencing some type of Ailment
#literally#yesterday all day at work i was busy but manageable. just started feeling the tiredness set in near the end of the work day tbh#biked home feeling perfectly fine. got in and pretty much instantly i got 1. the worst headache 2. blurry spots in my vision?#i was like lemme relax by watching a movie but then was like huh. entire spots are missing when i try to look.#popped a big painfkiller and drank some tea in case it was dehydration or smth and by the end of the night it had improved but i still#went to bed early just listening to a YT vid letting my eyes rest and falling asleep p quickly even if i did wake up a few times in between#this mornign i was fine. but after a few hrs it's starting to settle in again and idk what to do abt it. i was gonna catch up on bridgerton#then mb get some reading done but like i need my eyes fr that... why is my vision still fucky.does ayone know what to do about it?#mb it's a delayed stress response frm the week ive had? is it a nutritional thing? baby's first weirdass migraine but it comes and goes???#i would do further research trying to read up on whta the hell i got but 1. reading extremely difficult feat and 2. internet said eye tumor#so im like oh fuck OFF#any and aall advice welcome though rip thanks#*edt lying down wi one episode of iwtv later and vision has +- returned to normal. so additional screentime....good???? make it make sense
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why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡
#they said i could go back to work but i did that last time and it was a pain so i took the day off#and i did a bunch of errands and Accomplished Things instead of napping which is what i wanted to do#then finally sat down to watch a movie and eat and im like....feeling guilty for not being at work#insane#to be fair the hour before i left yesterday was crazyyyy bc we had a kind of crisis#ibstayed a half hour late bc there wasnt enough coverage due to the crisis and i did my coworker's clean up for her bc she literally left#without finishing it#bc she was freaking out#crisis is one of the kids had lice lol#anyway she left without finishing her cleanup even tho the owner of the school and our boss's boss dropped by#to let us know the health department was coming thennext day (today)#and she Went Home even tho there was literally cottage cheese all over the floor wtf#anyway i was watching the kids while my supervisor bagged up all the stuffed toys and sheets and blankets etc to wash#then i did my other co teachers cleanup while my supervisor tried to do afternoon diapers but she was so late starting only 4 kids were lef#out of like 8 or 10 that probably should have been changed#so half of them went home without a final diaper change lmao#anyway#bugs 😬#i got a lice treatment shampoo and leave in conditioner but yuck#anyway i just felt really bad bc im out and they always need people but also im out on the day we're getting a ladt minute health inspectio#and i know that classroom is gross bc the cleaning crew thats supposed to come in every night has definitely not been doing that#this has been a shitpost#anyway my eye surgery hurts so bad wah 😭#its not even supposed to hurt that much but im like wicked sensitive to the light or something that it hurts a lot even w eye shields#and nobody is babying meeee#my mom made me clean the kitchen and the barn when we got home :(#my brother is making gf cookies for me tho but not bc of the surgery he just wants to try baking gf for me in general bc he's nice#also he's making 61 cookies by accident instead of 18 bc he doubled the recipe and then realized it was a recipe forngiant cookies lmao
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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good morning team nina! i’m sorry for being a little here nor there, I WANT TO BE HERE REALLY BAD! but my laptop actually finally stopped turning on, which thanks a lot, rest in pieces ( oF SHIT, i Hated that thing! i will say its v hard to answer my asks without a laptop…smh)
but more importantly and the shit Cherry on top of Shit Mountain rn is, i’m currently pretty fkn sick bc one of the kids got me which already sucked…then halfway through yesterday i…completely??
Lost My Voice???
LIKE ITS GONE!!!???
tldr: i sound like an insane v foul demonic cross between roz from monsters inc and a cursed squeaky toy getting run over by a million cars on the highway and i can’t hit any notes higher than like a Bass in choir??? horrifying
but yeah my chest feels like a trash compactor or is that just my cold dead heart beatin idk what’s that like i'm evil n i made jk in my image
i lied im very rs-coded
#nina speaks#me: yapping and complaining#me: LITERALLY HAS NO VOICE???#yesterday while i waited to take my hoevid test#i covered Earth Wind and Fire for the rant girls IT WAS SO FUNNY#I LITERALLY LIKE CANT SPEAK ABOVE A HOARSE WHISPER#i didn’t even notice until my kinders were like#uh miss nina u sound weird#and i was im baby that’s a little mean#not all of us can be raven or crimson dawn#AND THEN I REALIZED ITS GONE ITS ACTUALLY GONE#HOLY FUCK#they are dunking on me LIKE YALL DID THIS#but yeah working on asks on my phone#i want to do the whump sick fic one while im ill#pls note i had a dream last night#and i know it was a dream bc ravenstan was doing toolshed boy stuff#hot boy shit#and fixing something in the cd house#and jerseys nose started bleeding like an anime character#blessed i love toolshed raven he’s so handy#have u seen jersey with a wrench? no? there’s a reason#he’s useless it’s a weapon it cannot be used to make ikea furniture he will start yelling and rage quit#and rs finish it in…five seconds and it’ll be light work#jersey fully willing to submit his work late to pull up a chair and watch#he is insane anyways it was a really good dream#please pray i get better lmaO i feel horrible
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ughhhh nobody let me on this website until i make the changes i need to make to my resume and apply to some jobs
#i was gonna buckle down and work on my resume all day yesterday#but i had insomnia tuesday night THENNNN was woken up at 8am sharp by construction. which went on ALL DAY btw!!!#and i was too tired to go anywhere else bc this was my second night in a row of getting < 6 hours of sleep#i spent a solid 8 hours or so playing sims while watching veep. i was completely useless all day and it was kinda awesome lol#my resume isn't *bad* obviously because i've gotten a few interviews but i think i can make it better#i think i need to change how i describe the stuff i did in grad school bc i think people don't see it as experience in data science#they see my resume and THINK i only have 1.5 years of experience but everything i did those 4 years of grad school was data science!!!#i came up with research questions and trained machine learning models and performed hypothesis testing etc.!!!#it was just in a different domain!!! so i need to reword that section of my resume and then i think i'll be good.#...... ok i'm gonna stop stalling and get to work now lmao#m.txt
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the ship disaster dreams are fine most of the time but you do NOTTTTT !!!! bring my best friend into this. don’t do that!!!!
#it was actually kind of horrifying last night 😟 DONT BRING MY BFF INTO ITTTTT PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEEE#so yesterday in EMT we did trauma assessments where we ran up to a victim and had to determine how they were badly injuried#and my best friend has the SAMEEE exact injuries as my victim last night :(#and most of the officers were incapacitated so we had to made the decisions and they were all wrong#it was dark and claustrophobic and we were stuck in the engine room and i was trying to get my friend out (broken leg)#then we got seperated and i was trying to climb to the bridge since we didn’t have anyone on helm and my officer w as alone up there#and i just get above decks and see us on course directlyto hit a tanker#all i remember is later from shore me and my friend watching the ship go down and knowing how many people are in there
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good morning!! <3
#yay more of the same#i did like the very beginning of penacony yesterday#so hopefully i'll do more today :3#beyond that i honestly dunno what my plans are for today#it's been a while since i've sat down and watched a movie so that'd be fun#that or i write something but i'm gonna try my hand at doing more letters for my mutuals which will take all my writing energy#it was fun doing it last year (and the valentines game gives me until the 16th-18th for it this time so might as well :3)#i just need to start early so i don't end up having to write a bunch all in one day#but that's enough rambling lol#i hope you'll have a good day/night!! <3#morning rambles
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#soooooo#after work yesterday my 9 yr old niece was here and she wants to watch another movie with me again#I told her why dont we watch some anime for a change? and ofc she was open about it lol#so I told her lets watch demon slayer#and so we did#we didnt get to finish the first season yesterday but today#she is here early lol and she started watching were we left of#I cant be with her watching rn though coz am doing prep for lunch but she keeps on reporting to me what's happening on what she was watching#she finds zenitsu funny and nezuko cute lol#anyways#its cute#thats all bahahaha#also I think this is her first anime to watch? am gonna ask later maybe#eh so#yeah have a nice day/night#tc always#drink water if ya ended up reading all of this crap hahaha
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The nice thing about bad days is that the next day, you have a brand new chance to make things better.
#personal#feeling better than I was last night :) even if it's only a little. that's something#the weekends alone kill me they really do#this upcoming weekend I'm gonna look for fun things to do#I did finish my puzzle AND started a drawing AND watched a movie with Static yesterday so it wasn't all bad!
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I have been up until 3 or 4am leading ghost hunts for the past two days after spending the whole day before the hunt doing a massive cleanup on the ghost hunt site to get ready for the paranormal convention next week where I'm going to be leading hour-long history tours nonstop all day and then doing more ghost hunts and night and I still am not sure I know the history well enough so now I need to spend today trying to put together an hour-long history tour and practicing it while also getting all my stuff ready for next weekend because I only have Monday afternoon off after work and I won't be free to do anything until after 8pm on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday because I'm teaching swimming lessons after regular work and on Friday I need to go to the haunt grounds immediately after work to lead a celebrity ghost hunt with a bunch of celebrities from ghost hunting shows and then on Saturday is when I do all the history tours so I need to have my history stuff down today because I won't have much chance all week to practice it let alone do stuff like cook and clean and laundry and I actually got super sick last week and am still recovering and the fatigue was already off the charts before the 4am ghost hunts this weekend and if one more thing happens I am going to become a DC Batman villain
#I am having fun but I'm so tired that I start falling alseep every time I sit down#legit did not sit down at all for almost 18 hours yesterday#during the last hour of the ghost hunt last night I caught myself thinking#that I should tie people in the group together 'to keep them safe' while I went to the bathroom#realized afterwards that wasn't a normal sort of thought. That was a 3am severely exhausted thought.#personal stuff#I have so much to do but I also want a nap rn so bad#I do not know any of the celebrities because I do not really watch ghost hunting shows but apparently they're big deals
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good news: the stray kitty i'm feeding got neutered
bad news: she's stuck inside for a recovery period and it's day 3 and i cannot get a wink of sleep
#turns out she is really hard to domesticate#and i mean#she had an hour of evening playtime yesterday plenty of bird watching too#i played her an hour of cat tv#she walked around and scratched and looked and basically i did all the enrichment i could in her circumstance#and yet today night she just wont let me sleep#she's constantly meowing and clawing at things and attempting to jump#i am at loss of how to manage with her and not lose my sanity over it#i'd get it if she didn't get playtime#but she absolutely did#she uses the litterbox too#and still wants out nonetheless#ehhhh#domi talks#i thought it'd be fine since she started spending more time in my room as of late#and sleeping whole nights here#but turns out nope#when she was right after the surgery she was obv just sleeping#but now that she's feeling better..... hhh
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i’m scFfredscsfed scatsdww scared
#i just wanna embrace my mania but i have work in 4hrs n i barely slept over the last 4 days n pulled an all-nighter last night#like ik it’s not smart to work a 12hr shift without sleep but Fuck i just wanna!! b awake!!#actually i’m lying down in the dark rn n it’s kinda making me sleepyish#but now i’m worried my body will want to catch up on +56hrs of zero sleep n i’ll sleep thru my alarm uvhhhh#i had work yesterday and did surprisingly well despite the all nighter i pulled ??#i got all my IV sticks!! n im getting better at burping the saline bags!!#my only issue is i’m kinda slow but idk i just get caught up talking w the patients or their families#like i like spending time w the kind ppl and joking with them and taking the time to help educate them abt their ailments#but i work i the ED so i gotta pick up the pace!! but also manic me loooooves chatting n that’s where i fell kinda short yesterday lol#but a pt’s grandma was so genuinely grateful for me taking the time to explain everything we were doing to help her grandson#she said ‘god bless you’ and her genuinity was real i felt she truly meant it#she even said ‘and god bless the woman who put you here on this earth’ n i was like#;-;tyvm i’m actually here doing this bc of my mom!! she passed away when i was 16 n the woman said a little prayer jsut basically telling#god to Reallh watch over me n im not religious at all and i hate god but my mom was v religious n i have no problem w others beliefs#but idk i was really touched i guess like wow maybe i’m not that annoying/horrible of a nurse bc i’m kinda unprofessional when i talk?#i just like to make light out of things to help pt’s feel heard and validity and i want them to know i care and want them to feel as safe#w me as possible during the#time they’re in my care#ik i probably just should’ve been a psych RN from the start but i rlly felt a calling to the ED??#also there’s a Lot of psych in our ED sooo 2 birds 1 stone !!#also the grandma told me she really appreciated how i spoke with them so openly and teach them things abt their loved ones condition#she said ‘never change that. your soul is beautiful and one of a kind’ or smthin like that n it was incredibly validating to me#cuz i felt like an idiot talking so much or maybe explaining things more than they wanted to know?? but the o grandma was soo appreciative??#i know i need to practice reigning myself in but with certain patients it’s just so easy to see them as another human being than a body#ok i’m kinda tired now but i’m fuxk dd bc if i fall asleep i’ll o my get 2.5hrs MAX n imsooo scared of not waking up on time!!#ok ok okimvinn finn big gonna go#ramblings
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