#did i think about that while writing it? no. it was just convenient & fitting

[kianamaiart]

Growing an audience takes time and getting people to care about your characters can often take more time. I've done a bunch of OCs in the past but none of them really got traction until my IDWTBAMG OCs. I steadily grew my social media following for well over a decade. A lot of checking socialblade, looking at analytics and generally drawing/posting everyday. I have a whole doc available about this type of stuff.

There's no particular shortcut other than happening to go viral or getting really lucky. But I will say "branding" or carving out a niche for yourself over time helps. Although I've been in a number of different fandoms over the past 15 years I've been on the internet, the kind of art I do has been pretty consistent. Lots of shorter, light hearted comics or vignettes highlighting relationships (be them romantic, platonic or familial) and people started enjoying my work for my writing style more so than just what fandom I was creating for.

Finding your community, creating stuff that aligns with those communities and engaging with others is huge. A lot of my work prior to IDWTBAMG centered queer people (specifically sapphics), Black and Asian folks and stylistically is very anime/modern western cartoon inspired. It's what became known for in fandom spaces and what people were following me for. So when I finally did make IDWTBAMG, a concept with anime influences, in a western cartoon style, with two Black, sapphic leads, it just fit right into what I was already doing. Like if you grew your following from doing cute, slice of life stuff, then suddenly dropped a psychological horror comic, chances are it's not gonna grab a large part of your audience. Might bring some new folks in, but you're ultimately kinda starting over and pivoting (that's why rebrands are hard to pull off). This may not be the best example but hopefully you get what I mean. Appeal to the communities you've fostered!

I hate using corporate speak for art but if you ARE trying sell your ideas to people and get your work out there, you do kinda have to learn how to market yourself and your art to some extent. Get in the head of a marketing agent or a brand manager. What's popular right now? How can I use that to my advantage? What times should I be posting my artwork to get the most eyes on this? Who is my target audience and how do I effectively appeal to them while staying true to my own work? Stuff like that. Genuinely, studying how social media managers operate as well as just observing how businesses market their products helped me a lot. "Okay I'm making this animatic, but it won't come out for the next four months. How do I keep people interested and hyped for that amount of time leading up to the pilot's release? I'll keep doing comics here and there so people connect with the characters by the time the pilot comes out. Once I get he VAs recorded, I'll make posts to get people hyped for the casting. I'll upload snippets and behind the scenes stuff to give people a taste of what's to come. I'll release during Black History Month since this is a Black led project with Black characters. I'll have a specific upload time at peak hours to get a good amount of people watching for the premiere and to give the pilot a good running start." This was all stuff I was taking into consideration and planning for.

Then generally, I think people connect to characters more than anything. You can have a cool concept and fun world building ideas but if your execution is bad and your characters aren't compelling, what's the point, y'know? IDWTBAMG isn't a particularly novel concept imo, but I think its strengths lie in the characters and how they interact. The concept is just a tool to give the character dynamics and relationships legs to stand on. So few of the comics I've done with these guys have to do with their lore, it's just small interactions of the girls in class, at a convenience store or just talking to each other in a void. Even though it's simple, that's often the kind of thing people connect with.

Then there's just the technical aspect of having appealing drawing! Getting better at your craft, if nothing else, is good for catching eyes and helping with your execution of your project. While it's not always necessary, I think it helps a lot. I know there's a lot of people who follow me just because they personally like my art style and character design.

Not sure how helpful this actually is LOL. It really does just kinda take time. We all have to start somewhere. I was a "small artist" too at one point. It was years of trial and error, mental breakdowns, finding my own artistic voice and posting artwork almost daily for like 5 years straight. I do think that's why IDWTBAMG ended up being so special to me. It really does feel like a culmination of everything I've learned and all that hard work up to this point and people can kinda feel that.

[saintobio]

the perfect boyfriend, feat. l&ds xavier.

pairings. xavier, fem!reader genre. fluff, smut, established relationship, 18+ tags. petnames (bunny), jealousy, virginity loss, unprotected sex, cockwarming, slight dom/sub play, same timeline!xavier notes. he’s still my l&ds main until july 15th just kidding :’D i love xav sm he’s literally so bf material to me

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who had a hard time expressing his feelings the first time he met you. he used to be a man of a few words—or, as you liked to put it, a very nonchalant guy. it’s not that he’s disinterested. in fact, every small interaction he’d had with you lingered on his mind all night. you’re all he can think about until he finally had the courage to confess to you one day, after saving you from a bunch of wanderers, and thinking he’d almost lost you. again. he just couldn’t let that happen.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who always responds to your texts and calls right after you press send or hit the ring button. he values your time and doesn’t want you to feel ignored after that one particular incident… when he fell asleep the entire afternoon and his phone conveniently died, only to see a number of missed calls and text messages from you the moment he woke up. he felt really bad at how worried you got, so he made a promise to always keep himself available for you.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who enjoys hotpot, and has made it a habit to suggest dining at his favorite hotpot place after a successful mission. it’s not just the spicy broth that he loves about that place; it’s also your care in serving him and arranging ingredients in his bowl. you were such a dream girl to look at.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who gets very jealous whenever you’d talk about another male colleague of yours. he wouldn’t say it out loud, but the signs are there when he starts showing that cute, grumpy face. he becomes very competitive too, asking questions like, “so, did you enjoy your time with him?” or “do you usually talk to him a lot?” and you figured that the best way to cut him off during his fits of jealousy, is to squeeze his cheeks and give him a soft, tender kiss, swearing to him that you are his and his only.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who makes it a routine to take note of the way other couples interact. and he’s specifically observing the man more than the woman. he has a journal called, ‘how to make my girlfriend happy’ where he writes about what he would notice guys typically do to make their girlfriends smile and laugh. one time, while he was walking downtown, he passed by an arcade place that had a row of new claw machines. the guy managed to get his girlfriend a stuffed toy, and in seeing how much the girl liked it, xavier invites you the next day for a claw machine date, promising that he won’t stop until he gets you the bunny plushie you wanted.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who loves it when you call him ‘xavi’, both casually and… sensually. there’s something so sexy about hearing you say “xavi~” into his ear, especially when you’re leaning way too close to him that he can smell that sweet scent of yours.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier whose mind is as vast as the known universe. he enjoys talking about the cosmos, the galaxy, and the stars alike—sometimes, he’d even be poetic about it. and that’s why he got the nickname ‘galaxy kid’ from you. there are nights where you two would go to the rooftop, watching the stars while lying next to each other. for xavier, there’s nothing more peaceful than stargazing with the girl he adores.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who was extremely nervous on your first night, because you were his first the same way he was yours. he doesn’t want to seem inexperienced in the sex department, so he tried gathering learning resources prior to you spending the night over at his apartment. in his head, he had mental notes, a very explicit and detailed one, of the things he had to do to please you: 1) kiss you, stroke your hair, and lay you in bed 2) slowly undress you, continue kissing down your body, cup your breast, and trace your curves 3) spread your legs open, place his fingers on your clit, then play with your sensitive bud, gently insert a finger or two 4) deepen the kiss when you moan, guide your hand and make you stroke his length, while he pulls his fingers out and sucks his digits to taste you 5) make sure you’re all wet and aroused, place his swollen tip on your entrance carefully, bury his cock inch-by-inch and stop whenever it hurts you, then wait until you’ve adjusted before he starts rocking his hips back and forth. was it a success? of course! he had followed every step diligently.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who ended up asking for two more rounds after your first session. he thought he didn’t perform well the first time because he felt like you made him cum too fast. he just didn’t expect you to be that tight, like your pussy was swallowing his member, your velvet walls wrapping around his girth as if milking him of his cum. missionary was the perfect position to start, but for the second round, he insisted on letting you ride him so you’d find the rhythm you want. and boy, did he go crazy as he watched you move your hips so goddamn sensually. he couldn’t stop his hands from touching your body, kneading your tits, and squeezing your buttocks. “my beautiful girl,” he’d moan, half-lidded eyes staring straight into yours, “you’re so good at this, y/n.”

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who finally learned what fetish means after personally experiencing one of his own. it was waking up with his cock still buried deep inside your cunt, his arms protectively wrapped around your frame as you slept soundly. or were you already awake by then? he wasn’t sure, but he could feel your pussy clenching around his shaft and he couldn’t tell if you were doing it on purpose. but damn, isn’t that hot? he’d think to himself, with his member growing harder the more he thought about it. “my bunny’s so naughty.”

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who loves it when you pet his hair like a good boy. your hands are magical! he’d fall asleep in a blink of an eye when he’s laying on your lap and you’re running your fingers through his hair. during nighttime though, he’s an absolutely sucker for the more dominant version of you. the way you’d pull his hair, grab his chin, and even as far as playing with his aching member using the tip of your tongue. agh! you’re making him sin.

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who has a knack for giving you small gifts and trinkets, like that pretty little ribbon he saw at a store. or that moon-shaped desk lamp. or that pearl bracelet with a bunny charm. his girlfriend isn’t just sexy, she’s also cute. so she needs to have cute things!

⋆｡˚ ୨ৎ bf!xavier who treats you like a princess and makes sure you’re always warm and comfortable around him. too cold? he’d be sure to bring his hoodie for you. too hot? he’d buy you the best ice cream in town. whatever you wanted, he would get it. and he never, ever lets go of your hand whenever you two are walking around. he just can’t let you wander too far off, afraid that he won’t be able to protect you if he can’t see you. he adores you so much, and his heart swells at the mere thought of you. because there’s nothing more precious to him than the first and only girl he’ll ever love in this world. you.

[joshujin]

‘til god breaks this spell

joshua's devotion to you rivals his devotion to his god.

♫ spell by niki pairing: joshua x fem!reader word count: 4.6k cw: a lot of religious reflection (catholicism) tags: childhood best friends, angst, not the happy ending you probably want sorry, the one that got away, joshua is a good catholic boy, reader is atheist a/n: the very first fic i wrote was a bts jinkook fic that was inspired by la la lost you by niki. seems fitting that i start my svt writing journey with another niki inspired song hehe. other than that, idk what compelled me to torture myself (and now you) like this. also, this was written in one, flustered go so it's barely edited oops!

“mom, what would you do if i married someone who didn’t believe in god?”

joshua’s mother immediately set her novel down, glasses slipping down her nose as she frowned at her one and only son. he didn’t look up at her, choosing to stare down at his hands instead while he twirled the friendship ring he shared with you around his pinkie finger.

“married?” she repeated. “i wasn’t even aware you had someone in your life.”

he shook his head quickly, frowning down at his open palm as he began to massage it nervously. “i don’t. i’m just… curious, i guess.”

it might be silly to be as worried about this as he is, seeing as things haven’t progressed into a relationship yet, but he’d rather figure this out now and say nothing than risk it, go all in, and then cause unnecessary pain later on.

his mother stays silent long enough that he forces himself to look at her. her eyes are no longer on him, instead seemingly zoning out on the space straight ahead. he follows her gaze and grimaces when he realizes she’s staring at the wooden carving of the last supper hung on the wall.

“i wouldn’t do anything,” she begins carefully. “you’re a grown man, after all. but i would worry that marrying a partner who didn’t believe in god—any god at all—would make you stray from your own faith.”

it’s a diplomatic answer and he expected it; his mom has always been supportive of him, always allowing him the space and freedom to make his own mistakes and learn from them—or not.

“so you’d prefer i marry catholic?”

“i mean, of course, but that’s not what i said, was it?” his mom retorts, giving him a pointed look. she knew joshua had a way of misunderstanding a lot of the things she told him. “i would prefer you marry catholic the way i would prefer you marry at all—nice to have but if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world.”

joshua nods, feeling a little bit of the tightness in his chest dissipate.

“i would just hope you think about it long and hard enough to know that you won’t compromise any of your own beliefs for someone who lives without a god,” she emphasizes.

joshua mulls that idea over. is his faith strong enough to withstand a lifelong partner who didn’t share his belief and love for god?

he wants to say yes. it’s you—of course he wants to say yes. you’ve been friends your whole lives, and he’s been in love with you for most of that time. of course he wants his answer to be: yes, my faith will survive a relationship with an atheist.

but he thinks about the conversations you’ve already had years ago, and the tightness in his chest returns tenfold.

is there anything that could happen that would make you believe in god?

probably not. it just seems too convenient that there’s someone out there in charge of everyone’s lives.

would you marry someone religious?

i don’t know. i guess it depends on the person. i don’t think i’d participate or convert or anything if i did, though.

what about kids? would you baptize them if you did marry someone religious?

dude, what’s with the interrogation? i don’t know! if it’s important to my partner, maybe? but i’d be most comfortable just letting my kids figure it out themselves. can we watch a movie now?

and each time you answered his question, instead of accepting that maybe there was a major incompatibility between the two of you, joshua would find himself thinking of the things he could compromise on.

okay, sure, he doesn’t need you to convert or participate; he’s already been going to church his entire adult life so far without anyone accompanying him. and if you didn’t want children baptized, that’s fine too! adults go through catholic confirmation later in life all the time! so what if you thought that the idea of a “big guy” controlling everyone’s lives was weird? he could just refrain from talking about that around you… or correcting your line of thinking because it’s a bit of a gross oversimplification of catholicism.

and as he sits there, his mother already back to her novel, he realizes his faith isn’t strong enough to survive you. because his love for you has become somewhat of its own religion to him, and if it came down to a question of his faith to you or his faith to god, he has to be honest with himself and admit that his mother’s fears are valid. he would put it all on the line if it meant being with you.

and he can’t do that.

he’s committed all kinds of sins by now. he’s been flexible in his beliefs—supportive and progressive in areas where other catholics have been unforgiving and in his opinion, outdated and bigoted. he’s compromised a lot at no cost to him or his god. but he can’t completely lose everything he’s known and loved for you. he can’t lose himself to you.

he can't forget that it isn't fair to you either—to have to try and appease him and his religion. he'd be doing you both a mercy, letting this spark die before it ever really takes flame.

joshua leaves his mother’s house knowing one thing is for sure: it’s time to let this dream of having you go.

the end is short and uneventful.

you two had only kissed once, and things hadn’t gone far enough for either of you to confess your feelings—whatever they were. so when joshua told you he thought it was better to stay best friends, you took it like a champ and agreed, smiling and hugging him tightly, promising him that nothing would change.

the end was short and uneventful, yet somehow the most devastating thing joshua has experienced. he had you. you were right there. he had a whole life with you in his palm, and he let it go.

he hates himself for it, but he saw it all. the moment his lips met yours, he saw hands intertwined together, late nights, car rides with his hand on your thigh, hugs from behind while he cooked for you, a suit and a white dress, a small, innocent face that looked like the both of you—your smile, his eyes.

and he feels like maybe you saw it too.

because when you both pulled away, you looked up at him like this was it—like you had just run a marathon and you had reached the finish line. like you’d grabbed his hand and crossed it with him. you smiled widely, wrapped your hand around the back of his neck, and caressed the skin there as your foreheads met. and you fell asleep wrapped up in each other like it was where you were both meant to be.

maybe you saw it too. and now he’s the reason it’ll stay a dream.

you stay true to your promise. joshua is almost saddened by how easy it seems for you to revert back to being only friends. every time he sees you, hears you, brushes up against you, he feels like his heart is cracking wide open and the world might just end at that very moment. it’s dramatic but he can’t wrap his mind around any other way to exist.

it hurts for a while, but the years pass a little easier.

he watches you date, and even though he’s secretly and unfairly relieved every time you throw someone else to the curb, he takes it well. he meets some of them and welcomes them warmly, agreeing to hang out with you and whoever you’re dating any time you ask him to. he even thinks one or two of them could give you a good life; he can live thinking of you with these ones forever. but you inevitably leave them behind and he hates that it makes him happy to watch you shake off a good guy that isn’t him.

just as he planned, joshua’s faith remains strong. he goes to church. he volunteers with his mom and her bible study friends. he sings and plays guitar on the praise and worship team from time to time. he meets a a catholic woman he thinks could be a match for him. he never asks her out. he politely declines when she musters up the courage to do it herself.

he thinks this could be fine. maybe he’ll be single forever and maybe you’ll find some average guy he can stomach, and his love for his god and for your happiness will keep him warm enough at night.

but then, you meet kwon soonyoung.

you’ve never been one to fall and tell; most of the time, joshua doesn’t know you’re dating someone until you decide it’s time to get his stamp of approval. he knows soonyoung is different from the jump.

your time starts to get tied up. it starts with only seeing him sporadically throughout the month instead of almost every day. it becomes rescheduling all your hangouts until you’re only seeing each other briefly at mutual friends’ events. it ends with missed calls and ignored texts.

he’s driving himself crazy wondering what’s going on, and when you post a photo on your story of a dinner date with a faceless man, he understands what’s happening. you’re falling in love. and he knows it because you never have—not truly—and this is what it must look like.

you don’t fall and tell, but joshua knows you too well to pretend it’s anything but this. he doesn’t try to take up any more of your time out of respect, and you don’t reach out.

you prove him right when a few months later, you bring soonyoung to a friend’s dinner party, and you introduce him as your boyfriend. it hits joshua like a truck. you’ve never introduced someone to him as a boyfriend. he’s always met the people you’ve dated before it progressed that far. he also had the privilege of meeting them privately, not with the rest of the friend group, none of who are privy to the way his heart collapses in on itself when he watches the way you lean into soonyoung all night. the way you laugh with him. the way his eyes disappear from how fondly he smiles at you. the way he seems to fit right into your life so perfectly.

you hug joshua tightly that night before leaving, and you tell him you miss him so much and you two need to catch up soon. neither of you follow up, though, and a year later, you’re engaged.

the week before joshua is due at your wedding as a guest—not your “man-of-honor” the way you’ve always planned your entire life—he gets completely shit-faced drunk.

he’s sitting on the sidewalk in front of a puddle of his own vomit when you quietly sit beside him, slipping your arm around his shoulders. he doesn’t know why you’re there. he doesn’t know if he’s hallucinating. he smiles anyway.

“hey, you.”

“hey, shua,” you whisper, smiling at him sadly. “what are you doing?”

“oh, y’know,” he shrugs, grinning at himself pathetically. “just hanging out.”

you hum, nodding.

“what are you doing here?” he asks.

you look at him with an inscrutable expression. “i just wanted to see you,” you answer. “i wanted to see my best friend.”

“am i?” he asks, looking up at the sky. the moon is covered by clouds tonight. “your best friend?”

“of course. you always will be.”

he smiles at the thought. he’s too drunk to realize there’s no possible way that’s true, not since soonyoung came into your life. he’s too drunk to remember there’s no room in your life for another man who’s just as hopelessly in love with you as your fiance is.

“say, do you believe in god yet?” he asks suddenly.

you raise an eyebrow at the suddenness of the question. “um, i haven’t thought about it lately.”

he nods. “okay.”

“joshua, what are you doing here?” you ask again. “what are you really doing here?”

he doesn’t remember what he tells you. what he does remember is waking up in the room he grew up in instead of his apartment, with his mother at the foot of his childhood bed, tears welling in her eyes.

“was it y/n?” she asks.

he frowns. “what?”

“when you asked what i would do if you married someone who didn’t believe in god all those years ago,” she explains, sniffling a little as she does. “were you talking about y/n?”

he doesn’t answer.

the events of the previous night catch up to him, and he remembers where he is—where his life is. he’s a handful of days from watching you marry someone else. he’s a handful of days from losing the one person he’s ever fallen in love with to someone else.

and all joshua has to show for it is his goddamn faith, and suddenly, for the first time since he asked his mother that question, he’s not sure it was worth it. because either way, he knows he’ll be devoted to you until the day he dies; he might as well have had you by his side all this time.

he tries to swallow the lump in his throat. when he fails, he can’t help the sobs that begin to rack his body.

he buries the heel of his hands into his eyes until he sees stars.

“she’s marrying him,” he groans through his sobs. “she’s marrying him, mom.”

“oh, joshua. i know.” he feels his mom’s hand squeeze his leg. “oh, baby, i’m so sorry.”

“i can’t do this. i can’t do it,” he wheezes, feeling like his lungs are collapsing under the weight of his ribs. “why did i do this? i can’t do this.”

she doesn’t try to convince him he can do this. she doesn’t try to argue that he didn’t do anything wrong. she doesn’t tell him to calm down. she collects him in her arms and she holds him, comforting him the way only a mother knows how to.

when he starts to calm down, she kisses the crown of his head.

“the pain you must’ve endured all this time. i’m so sorry, joshua. if i had known who you were talking about, i would’ve said something entirely different.”

he untangles himself from her embrace to look at his mother. “what do you mean?”

she wipes at her own tear-stained cheeks before cupping her son’s face. “oh, sweetheart. it’s y/n. you grew up with her. i know her like i would my own daughter.”

his mother shakes her head and joshua feels like he sees all his regret mirrored in her face. she pulls him to sit against the wall his bed is pushed up against, joining him as they both stare out the opposite window.

“there are some people who lead godly lives without even knowing it,” she informs him. “you say she doesn’t believe in god, but i don’t believe you.” his stomach lurches. “that girl has lived as godly a life as you and i have. she doesn’t need to be catholic to do that, baby. you know her. there isn’t a single universe where that girl would’ve led you away from your faith.”

joshua stammers now. “but… i…”

“all the sundays she tagged along for mass with us because she just wanted to be with her best friend when she could’ve been out on the playgrounds,” his mother begins listing. “she always respectfully bowed her head when we prayed before meals even though we both knew she wasn’t praying.”

his head is reeling now. is it possible he rewrote his own memories? could he have created his own narrative of what life with you would look like?

“remember when you were both 14 and she learned what lent was? she tried giving up soda and ended up crying, begging me for forgiveness when she forgot and accidentally had coke with her school lunch.”

his mother’s shoulders shake with nostalgic laughter.

“you would’ve thought i was god the way that girl wailed,” she reminisces. she sighs in the silence that follows. “joshua, my son. some people… they show you they love god in a way different than we do, and it’s my fault i never properly taught you that.”

he turns his head to look at her but her gaze remains trained on the window. he sees now that it’s not his regret she mirrors but her own.

“i think i was too preoccupied with ensuring i raised you to be a good, catholic man—too preoccupied with making sure you didn’t become anything like your father.”

he breathes in deeply and returns his focus to the window.

“but i should’ve made it clear. i should’ve shown you that god exists in all the little acts of love we give and receive. i should’ve shown you that organized religion isn’t the only marker of faith.” she pauses, taking a shaky breath. “maybe then you would’ve recognized y/n as a woman of god. maybe then you wouldn’t be so hurt now.”

the words are enough to make joshua even more nauseous than his hangover is already making him.

“y/n… she shows godliness in the way she respects you and your beliefs. she shows it in the way she supports and loves you through every season of your life. it’s unfair to say she isn’t good enough for you because her faith lies in a different place.”

“i never thought she wasn’t good enough for me,” he interjects quickly. his mom doesn’t argue that, simply nodding. “she’s perfect. i just… i thought we were incompatible.”

“and maybe you are,” she agrees.

she doesn’t need to say it out loud; they both know what comes next. but now you’ll never know.

“i just wanted to apologize,” his mom tells him, taking his hand in hers and squeezing. “i feel like i’ve failed you.”

“you haven’t, mom,” he says quietly. “i failed me.”

“we’ll agree to disagree,” she announces, making him smile a little. “but i’m sorry anyway. there are a lot of things i’d change now if i could.”

he feels the familiar tightness in his chest. it’s his companion at this point, the heartbreak. “me too, mom. me too.”

joshua played with your hair from where he was laying on your couch. you were sitting criss-cross in front of him on the floor, clicking through netflix and trying to find a movie you both wanted to watch.

"is there anything that could happen that would make you believe in god?" he suddenly asked you. you frowned at the abrupt question, setting the remote down on the floor.

"that's random."

"just curious," he murmured softly, like he was so relaxed he was about to fall asleep.

"hmm," you hummed in thought, resting your head back so you could stare at the ceiling. he adjusted your hair so it fell over his lap. "like what, some kind of miracle that can only be explained by god?"

he shrugged. "sure. whatever."

"probably not..." you answered with hesitation. "i can't really think of a kind of miracle that would have me questioning god, though."

"like, if someone you loved were given a terminal diagnosis—three months to live. and suddenly, their illness clears up with no explanation. even doctors are astounded. what would you think?"

you shrugged. "i would be too happy they're not dying to question how it happened." he blew out a breath of exasperation. "okay, okay," you laughed, trying to figure out a more definite answer for him. "no, i don't think there's anything that could happen. it just seems too convenient that there's someone out there in charge of everyone's lives."

he nodded along but said nothing. you fidgeted in the silence. the quiet wasn't something the two of you ever shied from; it was always comfortable with joshua. for some reason, you felt awkward. so you kept talking to fill the silence.

"i think i could be open to believing something, though," you admitted honestly. "i just don't want to get to a place where i would blame this... thing or person for the things going wrong in my life. but that's just me. i still love that people believe so strongly in it. faith is a beautiful thing."

joshua taught you that. faith withstood a lot of things, and your best friend was the prime example. nothing was quite as beautiful as his love for his religion, his god, his spirituality. even if it scared you sometimes—even if it unintentionally made you feel too small to be someone lucky enough to have joshua's heart—you knew it was still precious.

"would you marry someone religious?"

you snorted. "where are these questions coming from?"

"indulge me."

you sighed, closing your eyes and enjoying the way his fingers carded through your hair. "that's so hard to answer without knowing who it is. it depends on the person. i can't make a decision based solely on how religious they are."

"okay, i guess that's fair." he paused. "would you ever convert for someone?"

"i don't think so?" you said, hating how unsure you sounded answering all of these questions. "but who knows? i really can't say for sure without knowing who it is, shua. how about you? would you marry someone who wasn't religious?"

your heart pounded at the silence that followed.

"it depends on the person," he finally said with a playful tone.

you rolled your eyes. "exactly."

"alright, what about kids?"

"shua, why are you interrogating me right now?"

he snickered. "i'm having a conversation with my best friend. is that not allowed?"

you lifted your head and turned to glare at him, your hair slipping between his fingers. he dropped his hand now that he had nothing to play with. he raised his eyebrows at you slightly.

"of course it's allowed," you scoffed. "it's just... so out of nowhere."

"well?" he prodded, ignoring your comments.

"okay, what about kids?" you relented.

"would you baptize them if you did marry someone religious?"

you laughed. "so much religion talk tonight."

he didn't dignify that with a response.

you groaned, again having no idea. if you took all these questions and made them about joshua, they would be a million times easier to answer. but he wasn't asking about himself, he was asking about some faceless, nameless nobody, and you weren't invested enough to answer accurately.

"i don't know... if it's important to my partner, then of course i would consider it," you finally said. "but i guess i'd be most comfortable just letting my kids figure it out themselves."

"that's wise," he remarked.

"mhm, sure" you hummed. "can we watch a movie now? i'll even let you choose an anime if you stop asking questions that make me sweaty."

he smirked and nodded. "okay, come up here, though."

you joined him on the couch and you spent the rest of the night binging anime episodes. you wouldn't be able to say what you watched, though, because the entire time, your mind was stuck on what the answers would've been if they were about joshua.

the end is long and beautiful.

you marry kwon soonyoung in front of all your loved ones, and you do it knowing full well this man will give you the happiest life. you spend the night eating the food you both painstakingly chose together, dancing to songs recommended by your guests on their RSVPs, and laughing so hard, tears stream down both of your faces.

and when you sidle up to your best friend as he leans on the bar, waiting for his drink, he has the strength to look happy for you. you’re sure he isn’t. at least not quite all the way.

“i’m happy you’re happy, y/n.”

you smile. “thank you, shua.” you pause, tilting your head a little in thought. you add: “for everything.”

“what’s everything?” he asks, smiling in confusion.

“for everything... for being my best friend all this time. loving me like you did. letting me love you," you list, ignoring the way his eyes widen at you. "most of all, i guess i just want to thank you for everything you gave up so we could be here,” you finish before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. you pull away, cupping his face, and smiling. “i’ll never forget it. thank you.”

you’re swept back onto the dance floor by your bridesmaids. it was a short exchange, but you know it was enough.

you’re not dumb. you knew what joshua had to give up so you could be here, happy, in love, and with the man perfect for you.

everything. he had to give up everything. he chose his devotion to god over his devotion to you, and you never faulted him for that because you knew it was a decision that would destroy him, and maybe it did at one point, having to bury his love as deep as he did.

you didn’t believe heaven was real, and still, he chose to love you until it hurt like hell and you knew it. there might have been a younger version of you that was heartbroken he couldn’t possibly imagine a life with you where you were capable of supporting his beliefs wholeheartedly regardless of yours. because you would have. you would have done everything in your power to make him feel loved while keeping his door to his god wide open.

there might have been a younger version of you that would’ve hated him for this.

but tonight, as you slow dance with your husband, feeling the safest you’ve felt in your entire life, all you can do is thank joshua hong for all the choices he made without asking you first.

ironically, because of him, you can see god now. you can see god in the way soonyoung holds you like you’re the most precious person in his life. you can see god in his patience and care. in his kindness. in his dedication to making you smile and laugh.

you’ve never seen god in a clearer light.

you think back to your last, honest night with joshua, on that deserted street, when he drunkenly called you.

“what are you really doing here?”

“i’m mourning,” he answered. “i’m mourning the life we could’ve had.” he frowned as tears began to fall down your face. “don’t cry. i don’t want to make you sad. i��m okay, i promise. i’ll be okay. i’m just letting you go now... for real this time.” he hiccuped. "for real, for real."

“you didn’t have to, you know,” you whispered.

“i think i did.”

you got him to his mother’s home that night, not wanting him to wake up alone with the weight of his sadness. you didn’t exchange many words, but you knew she knew. she hugged you, told you she was happy for you and soonyoung, and she looked at you for several, long seconds. you felt like she could see right through you because she probably could—she always did.

“you’ll always have him.”

“and he’ll always have me.”

“i know.”

the end is long and beautiful, and it’s simultaneously the best and the most devastating night of your life.

but your lives go on, and you and joshua both find what keeps you warm at night, and you hold onto it for as long as you can.

and you’re okay with that. you hope he is too.

[mint-in-the-moonlight]

putting the poly back in polytheism

something that I've noticed in neo-pagan/polytheist spaces is this focus on one or a few deities. while this is a valid approach and seems to be working amazingly for many people, i wanted to write a short defence of a different form of polytheism that, while maybe less visible on social media, is equally viable.

the poly in polytheism necessitates the belief in multiple gods however modern forms of worship take many different forms on top of that. from my years being in pagan spaces on social media I have noticed that to many, being a polytheist means worshipping one or a handful of gods and having very close relationships with them. which deities someone chooses to have this kind of relationship with stems from multiple possible sources, for example, personal interest, the deity's domain being somehow related to a person's life or an inexplicable draw to them.

to me, this seems to be the dominant view on social media of the form that neo-paganism takes, however, after years of exploring my spirituality and practice, I have come to the conclusion that this is not how I want to worship. I am writing this post for more people like me, who are interested in exploring this often less mainstream approach.

an ancient template

reading about Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations I was always struck by the number of minor deities with hyper-specific domains and associations. as a modern pagan, I could not understand the appeal of worshipping such a deity, ie. using so much time and resources to build a relationship for only a handful of niche issues that you could approach them with.

but as I kept reading and exploring, I realised that I was approaching polytheism completely differently than the ancients did. they truly did live in a world full of gods and they did not require a relationship built over days, if not weeks or more, to approach a deity and ask for their aid.

as long as you followed the rules of reciprocity, you could approach any deity that was relevant to your situation because they were the best equipped to help you with your problem. now this is not true for all of the population all the time, there were definitely also for example, people devoted to one deity, but from my understanding, this seemed to be the general form that polytheism took in those ancient civilisations.

the influence of monotheism

I think another feature of online neo-paganism is this expansion of the major deities' domains which then removes the need to worship the smaller deities. now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for expanding the domains of deities, especially if this is done from a revivalist perspective in order to modernise them for the contemporary worshipper. but sometimes I feel like completely unrelated domains are added for the sake of convenience more than anything else, ie. so that someone can keep worshipping the same deity(ies) without approaching others.

this, in my opinion, goes against one of the core aspects of polytheism which is the idea that different gods rule over different domains and have power over them. following this idea, it would make very little sense to pray to Neptune during air travel as he has no influence over the skies. yet, I sometimes see the deities be treated more like monotheistic gods which are all-powerful and can influence anything in the world.

if this is your view of how the gods work, that's fine, but I feel like sometimes people accept it without questioning it much or thinking about their view of theology at all. after mulling this idea over for some time, I realised it made much more sense to approach those specific deities, even if they are much less known or minor because this fits into my beliefs about polytheism much better.

a poly-practice

so, how would a poly-polytheistic practice look like in the modern day? well, there are many ways to go about it but I will just share bits from my own experience.

what I have ended up doing is focusing on different deities as they become relevant in my life - I focused on worshipping Janus at the beginning of the year while also taking the time to pray to Fortuna in moment when I needed her aid. I then did some extra reading on Jupiter, but didn't forget to thank Mars every time I went to the gym. I no longer felt the pressure to have some sort of special "connection" to every deity or "feel their presence", just trusting that they are there and then catching glimpses of divinity in my daily life.

looking into which Roman festivals I wanted to celebrate also opened my perspectives to more deities I would not have otherwise worshipped on my own. like this, I feel like I am building an arsenal of deities I can turn to when I need and of course, it is also vital to remember that I can call on multiple ones at the same time, just like the Romans saw the gods aiding one another in their tasks.

I only have one altar, which is practical and thus quite minimalistic, but there is space for my prayer notebook as well as other supplies that I need for my rituals.

conclusion

of course, this kind of practice results in a much more "impersonal" relationship with the gods, but I never really felt the need to communicate with them directly or things like that, so it fits me well. I find comfort in imagining a world full of gods, who may only know me in passing but who look out for me nevertheless.

in the end, the goal of this post is not to change anyone's mind about how they worship, but to present an alternate perspective which you can learn from but also completely disregard. in the end I am just happy that you were interested enough to reach until the end of this post. thank you for reading!!

[asce-of-hearts]

Could you please do prompt 🍓 for a yandere Doflamingo maybe a non con scenario with a female reader or whatever you wish…if not that’s okay and I hope you have a good day regardless 🤗

Misinterpreted

contents: Yandere!Doflamingo with prompt: 🍓 (fem!reader)

more Doffy content here

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WARNINGS: YANDERE, FEM!READER (NO ANATOMY SPECIFIED), NON-CON.

"This would've happened whether you agreed or not, my dove." He purrs, his deep voice echoing around the room.

His bedroom is luxurious, like everything in his life. The bed is a dark canopy, the mattress cushiony and soft. Half of his bed-sheets are either silk or sateen, littered with pillows in all shapes and sizes. The walls have an exotic themed wallpaper attached to them, it looks brand new, if the light hits certain spots you can see reflections of gold that twinkle ever so slightly. The curtains are black, preventing any curious eyes from prying inside his private little heaven.

The lingerie you're wearing is soft, frilly and flowy. With ribbons and lace and whatnot. He choose it based solely on the tastes he knows he has. It hugs at your skin, futilely trying to shield you from his touch or his eyes. His strings have you bound to the bed, nothing left for you to do. You could comply, or you could fight. The more you think about it the less you know which one of those would make your experience less miserable.

"I've done it all, really. I've given you time, you're luckier than my other partners. They had to suffer the consequences of my impatience. But not you, my dove. You've had plenty of time to get used to me before I did this." He says with a smile, his hands tracing your legs. "But you seem so deeply ungrateful to me at times. Screaming at crying, not talking to me entirely. And that makes me very, very mad, my darling girl."

Girl. How paternalistic. How fitting for a man at least 20 years older than you.

"But you see, even I have my limits. Much more of them than you would think," He grins, pressing a kiss to the side of your cheek, then licking. "And you reached those a long, long time ago. So, I, naturally, have to act accordingly to what you want."

"Then let me go, that's what I want." You don't know if you're begging or commanding, you seem in no place to do either.

"Let you go? Silly little girl, that's not what you want. You want something from my part." His fingers dig at the skin of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His free hand travels around your body, groping, pinching and taking all that he wants from your and more. It stops at the hem of the lace panties you're wearing, aching to tear them apart. "I’ll be the monster you want me to be, isn’t that what you want?"

"No! I don't!" You say in a whimper, screaming when he rips your panties apart. He flips you over, pressing your face against the mattress and lifting your hips so he can align his cock properly.

"Well, that's too bad I suppose. I guess I... misinterpreted your signs." He chuckles, sardonic and cruel. He licks his lips as he circles the entrance of your cunt with the tip of his cock, when you try to fight him he just pins you down harder. One hand at the back of your neck, threatening to cut out your air supply with a thread that is conveniently tied around your neck, barely circling it tight enough for you to feel it.

"Enjoy the ride, my dove. We'll be here for a long, long while."

hope you enjoyed this

have a great day/night

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[dinogoofymutated]

Hi! so far I've loved everything you've written about Kurt, Logan and Remy. 🧎🏻‍♀️

Could you write something about Kurt? where together with reader they are in the kitchen of the mansion because they can't sleep, and she finally tells him her concerns about the magnitude of her powers and Kurt with his heart of gold tells her beautiful things to calm her down and make her laugh, the rest to your imagination, I would appreciate it, you write great! Thanks 💙✨

SFW! Nightcrawler/Fem!Reader

Ok so I will admit that I made this a leeetle self indulgent. I was trying to think of a power someone could really struggle with and a fun one that I thought of was having necromancy, but having such respect for life and death that it feels wrong. I thought it would fit well with a Kurt fic because it's something that almost feels sacrilegious, and it's good to have a fuzzy blue elf assure you that you aren't a monster :) I know its def not power ambiguous, but I hope this is okay :)

Also, I know my writing style is a little different in this one, And thats because the first few paragraphs set the tone for my writing when I start and tbh I think this one just flowed from my soul to they keyboard.

TWs: nightmares, necromancy, gross descriptions of rotting flesh. Extreme self-doubt and self-consciousness. Basically angst with a happy ending.

You’ve been having nightmares again. They hardly seem to stop, but after a break in between the terror, you'd become too relaxed. Too comfortable. You felt defenseless when they started to begin again.

It’s always the same dream, different font. Bones cracking, flesh ripping as it’s forced into place, natural or not. Skin rotting off of once human bodies, sockets where eyes used to be. It was horrifying. You’d see your family, friends, acquaintances, everyone. Dead. Brought back to life by your power, the power you were still so afraid of. You were always afraid of zombie movies as a kid. Anything rising from the dead, anything breathed back to life in some sick and twisted fantasy. It was ironic that your very own strength was the thing you had always been the most afraid of.

Of course, as you aged and the professor took you in, the fear began to wear off. Mostly, it did. The professor not only taught you how to control your powers but also how to work around your fear. You can remember the confusion you felt when he had set a box of ancient bones in front of you. Fragments of titans, dinosaurs who had long since passed. Bones that would never be matched to an accurate set, parts of them being crushed to dust by the cruelty of time. Bones that only you could breathe to life, to bring them together as a whole again. It was convenient, the professor had told you, that you only needed a fragment to do so. He spoke as if it were a service to them. Most importantly, he brought you a box of bones that weren’t, and never had been, human.

He had taken the fear out of your power. Given you an option you had never considered before. Bones without flesh, without living family. Fossils that would serve you as you were serving them. You were… happy, with that. You were content. You could handle bones. You could revive these ancient skeletons without fear, and fight with them without worry. That didn’t change the horror of knowing the capacity your powers had.

    So the nightmares remained, and your sleep had become sparse.

    This particular night you were restless. Unable to sleep despite how tired you have been, but it’s hard to rest when there is only terror waiting behind your eyelids. After a while, you decide to give up trying.

The path to the kitchen is one you have memorized, even in the dark. You’ve always been told never to eat sugar before bed, but the only thing you want to comfort you at this moment is hot chocolate- so screw it.

    You try your best to be quiet while fishing out a pot out of the cabinets. The stove makes a click as you flick it on, filling the pot with milk before stirring it as it warms. The automatic task is comforting, falling into a routine you enjoy. You’ve just added the coco mix when the sound of a *Bamph* greets you.

    “Guten abend.” Kurt whispers, walking over to stand beside you. You give him a tired smile that he returns with a yawn.

    “I’m sorry if I woke you.” You say, face returning to a frown Kurt thinks you wear far too often. Maybe it’s good that he’s here because you realize you made far too much of the sweet drink than you had meant to. You get a mug for him, heart fluttering as his hand brushes your own when he takes it from you, thanking you quietly.

    “You did not wake me, Schatz. I promise.” Kurt says, pulling out a chair for you with his tail as he sits at the table. You nod silently, placing the pot in the sink and filling it with water before you join him, leaning against his shoulder.

    “Did you have another nightmare?” Kurt asks after a moment. His brows are furrowed in concern, and you fail to stop him before he takes a sip from the scalding coco, burning his tongue. He scrunches his nose as he sticks out his tongue, making you giggle for a moment. He thinks your laugh suits you much more than your frown, even if it happens to be at his expense. Your face falls slightly anyway, and he wonders if he could get you to laugh if he did it all over again.

    “...No. Not tonight.” The words come out as less than a whisper, and you doubt he might hear it if it weren’t the middle of the night. Little did you know he’d block the world out if he had to, just to hear you speak a little clearer. He hums in response, and you feel his tail slowly wrap snugly around your waist, the very tip idly stroking you in a comforting manner.

    “...Do you wish to speak about them?” Kurt asks after a moment. You huff slightly, feeling the hot steam from your mug warm your face as you do so. Still too hot, you think to yourself. Flashes of those horrid nightmares come to mind, and no matter how quickly you try to shake them off, they remain. You choose to think of Kurt instead. Sweet, kind, comforting Kurt. You want to bury yourself in his arms, sink into the feeling of his skin, and never let go, if only he would let you. He would without a second thought, if only you had known. You think carefully about your next words, and the visions of flesh and corpses hardly leave you.

    “Am I a monster, Kurt?” You hear a quiet, cut-off gasp from Kurt, and he turns to you. His face is pained, and he sets his mug down to place his hand around your own, still clasped around the hot cocoa. 

    “Of course not. Only a fool would think so.” His words, although comforting, only leave you with a worse sting in your heart. You can’t hold eye contact with him, staring at the reflection in your mug instead. Only a fool would think so. You halfway wonder if you count as a fool, then.

    “I, just… My powers, what I do. What I am capable of doing. It’s not right.” You take a shaky breath in, desperately trying not to break down here and now. “It’s disgusting. It’s horrible. Every time I find myself comfortable with myself I am reminded of what is possible and I spiral. I don’t want it. I don’t-”  

  “Liebling.” You let out a sob at the sound of his voice. Kurt is hunched over, pressing his forehead against your own as he desperately tries to catch your gaze- but you can’t. You can't bear it, and you close your eyes tightly. Kurt takes the mug from your hands. He cups your face as he wipes your tears, and you feel like even more of a monster as he does so. Sobbing as a man with a heart of gold wipes your tears away with love and care.

    “Please, look at me,” Kurt whispers. You try to stop the tears, embarrassed as you fall apart in front of the man you hold so dearly, but it’s hard. It’s so hard. Your chest stings, your throat is sore, you’re sure your nose is running, and yet he still holds you so gently. When your breathing evens out just a bit, you convince yourself to open your eyes again.

    Kurt’s gaze is simply concerned. There is no horror, no disgust, nothing but worry for you. Nothing but kindness. You wonder if you could be even half as good as he is. 

    “You are good. You are kind. You are strong enough to stand by your morals despite the nature of your powers telling you otherwise- and you have the strength to continue to use them and fight your fears anyway. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. Do not let your nightmares tell you otherwise.” Kurt’s hold is steady against your cheeks, and your own shaky hands reach up to hold onto his wrists. You sob again as he speaks. You know. You know this. Others have told you, but these words all felt like lies. All but the ones you’re hearing from his mouth. Your tears are slowing, and Kurt leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead, leaving the skin tingling. You whisper quiet apologies for crying, and he shushes each one, gently wiping your face with the soft sleeve of his pajama shirt.

  “I would not be here if I didn’t want to care for you, my love,” Kurt says softly. Your eyes widen, taken aback by his words. He called you many things. Liebling. Schatz. Love. But never my love. The words waken butterflies in your belly, and Kurt takes a moment to realize what he’s said. He swallows nervously, but he doesn’t pull away. You don’t either. The two of you are treading a line that you both desperately want to cross. 

    Kurt is the first to lean in. He does so slowly, toeing the line between you. His gaze remains on your own as he closes the space, nose nuzzling against your own as he gives you the time to back out if you wish. But you don’t. You want nothing more than to have what he is so freely giving. 

    Kurt kisses you softly, lovingly, and for once the horrors have quieted and are cleared from your mind. All there is now is Kurt, and his soft love. He kisses you a second time before he pulls away, still as close to you as he can be without falling out of his chair. You wonder how he can see beauty where all you see is terror. He wonders if you have any clue just how much of a good person you continue to be.

    He knows he would gladly spend the rest of his life showing you.

[red-garden]

So I love near everything u write about Yqy, like it’s perfect, so in character, it makes me want fling him around lol

But do u have any kinda silly svsss hc’s that u haven’t gotten to write about??

THANKYOUUUUU I TRY MY BEST

Silly Scumcannons (modern AU and canon setting is blended up like a milkshake in this one, just roll with it)

- Liu Qingge would have a low tech flip phone, mostly because he’s as tech savvy as a fossil, but also because he would break anything that’s not a Nokia

-when he was little, Shen Jiu saved up and bought one of those shitty quality magnetic friendship necklaces for him and Yue Qi, and was heartbroken when YQ wasn’t wearing it at the IAC (it got kinda fused into his body during the xuan su nonsense) (SJ still keeps his in a little bow in the bamboo house)

-Shen Yuan fucking loves Pokémon, and contrary to popular belief most of his apartment’s decor was Pokémon merch. He has enough shame to keep all the PIDW merch he buys in a little box in his closet

-SY and his sister were both art kids. SY is unfortunately one of those traditional art snobs that paints only, and renders in a traditional style. His sister is an exclusively digital yaoi illustrator.

-LBH has two mutual interests with LQG: Shizun, and fishing. SY tries to set up fish bonding between them, but the malevolent aura they create together scares the fish

-LBH prefers the classic Saturday set up a poll and get wasted. LQG prefers boating out with a harpoon.

-SY/SJ is actually pretty isolated from the other peak lords. Most of them are very close friends

-QQQ likes to drink with WQW and she once got him to agree to entrust his future children to her in the event of his death

-not just MBJ but the entire northern desert court think of SQH as a like a hot, domineering, James Bond type. Did you hear he was a spy?! Did you know how many people he killed?!? They’re all doing the demon equivalent of twirling their hair and making goo-goo eyes at him

-less well known than Resentment of Chushan is wildly popular stallion fiction Lord of the Clear Cold Lake, about a badass half demon spy who was playing both the human and demon realm to amass an empire, seducing an ice queen and amassing a harem of hundreds (it was written by TLJ. He wants airplane to fuck him so bad)

-MBJ would be an active enjoyer of fan fiction and has even written some (about the same literary level as My Immortal)

-YQY had to train in the four arts to be a cultivator obviously, and he can draw pretty decent landscapes, but his skill at drawing people never progressed much further than

(He makes do)

-SJ made it MF’s duty to keep disciples from fucking, and he has walked in on some truly awful things. Eventually he just stopped doing dorm walkthroughs.

-QQQ and MQF do sect-wide sex ed together, QQQ focusing on how to do sex and the etiquette therein, and MQF focusing on the health aspects, puberty, and what to do if you get pregnant/an STD/your period/figure out you’re trans. Every years they have a running bet on how many disciples will come in for related medical treatment in the following week.

-while Xian Shu is outwardly women only and Ku Xing is outwardly men only, both peaks allow disciples whose gender doesn’t fit clearly into one category or the other

-Ku Xing is dedicated to creating an environment for aesthetic cultivation, but that doesn’t mean disciples of other peaks can’t also practice it.

-the sect makes money from slaying beasts and protecting the cities in it’s territory, every peak also ha some product production sold to the wider world (other than Qiong Ding). Disciples are encouraged to build their skills to join production. Depending on the quality and quantity of their work, they will make money from sale- convenient for disciples not yet in a paid position within the sect.

-like 20% of the beasts are obvious Pokémon ripoffs

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I don't know if this has already been asked, but what did you think of the Halloween event? Is it too early to ask? How did it compare with the other events?

Aaaaah, thank you for asking!! I was actually in the middle of writing my own "these are my thoughts" post even if no one specifically asked 😂 but I'm glad I can just reply to this ask with what I was cooking up~

***Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD!!*** ***Please also note: these are just my OWN thoughts and opinions! In sharing them, I do not mean to disparage those who think differently than me; I only mean to contribute to the discussion.***

I'll be quick and rip off the band-aid now: I liked this event about as much as I did Stage in Playful Land, maybe a little better than Playful Land if I think about it. If you know anything about my thoughts on the previous Halloween event, well... Let's just say it's a mixed bag. Neither of them comes close to toppling the peak that was Glorious Masquerade. (Fandom consensus seems to be quite positive though, with many liking Nightmare more than, if not the same as, GloMasq while Playful Land is still considered the weakest of the bunch.) Playful Land and Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas both suffer from general pacing issues. The former had an intriguing premise and setting but also many plot holes, a lack of active involvement from the SSR squad, and a resolution that was way too convenient. The latter, Nightmare, was very boring throughout because the majority of the event was centered on party preparations. I enjoyed everyone's bickering and the SSR squad's role in the event, but I wanted more than just that. It's basically like Terror is Trending, but if it had the Nightmare Before Christmas characters also featured. However, Nightmare did have a really interesting ending that played with amnesia and time paradox tropes. It's just that the road to get there wasn't anything special. I'll now get into all of this in detail, but it's quite long. Ready for a read? Then let's go ^^

My Extended Ramblings:

The initial aesthetic is strong. VERY strong, especially to me, a girlie that loves Nightmare Before Christmas and formal wear😭 BY GOD DOES EVERYONE LOOK SHARP AND DRESSED TO KILL IN THOSE NIGHTMARE SUITS... The devs totally popped off with the fits. I also loved how all the characters' coloring shifted once they entered the book; there's notable hatch marks on their shadows and even their skin and hair adopt bleaker saturations. These are SO much better outfits than the GloMaq and Playful Land ones, I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S JUST THE TRUTH. The other events tended to have chunky silhouettes and/or overly embellished elements to their designs that didn't sit quite right with me. NIGHTMARE SUITS HOWEVER ARE PERFECT AS THEY ARE...

... That being said, I think this event's premise was not great. I know everyone's mileage with this will vary greatly, but personally I don't like Lost in the Book events. I don't enjoy having Disney properties so blatantly shoved at my face; I'd prefer it to just be a distant part of the lore and history of the Twst world. The other issue with the event being so closely tied to its Disney film is that the story becomes so predictable. You can't really explore beyond the bonds of what the film has already set up, so you're trapped with whatever status quo Disney has mandated is "okay". (For example, in Nightmare, it has to be set BEFORE the events of the actual film in order to keep things "the same" when the film events actually play out.) Lost in the Books rely on individual nostalgia to some extent to get you invested in what it's trying to sell. This was particularly evident in this event, which featured several characters from the film and made Jack a very big fixture in the story. I for one was not sold on it despite my own fond feelings for Nightmare Before Christmas. I needed it to prove its own merits to me, and I'm not entirely sure if it was successful on that front.

I have made it no secret that I don't like most Twst events in general. Too often does it feel like pointless meandering and sightseeing without anything of real substance happening (though I do enjoy meeting new characters and learning new lore). That's also the case with Nightmare; the scale of the conflict isn't anything spectacular--but that's fine, it can still work as is, even if I don't personally find it interesting. I was still plenty entertained by all the bickering between the boys and between them and the residents of Halloween Town. The highlights for me definitely have to be Jade being a little shit to everyone, Jamil being tormented with bugs, Sebek's big speech in the climax, and Leona just beefing with EVERYONE in sight (particularly Malleus). The comedy and character interactions helped the middle part of the event not feel dull. I do feel like them having to switch groups around halfway through was short of a shoehorned way to prolong the middle of the event though 💦

One thing I noticed like, right away as I was playing this event was how disjointed it felt. And for the life of me, I could not pinpoint why… until I went back and compared the number of chapters per part. This is how the parts break down:

Part 1 - 13 chapters

Part 2 - 22 chapters

Part 3 - 20 chapters

Part 4 - 13 chapters

Part 5 - 16 chapters

For comparison, Glomasq:

Part 1 - 15 chapters

Part 2 - 18 chapters

Part 3 - 17 chapters

Part 4 - 19 chapters

Part 5 - 18 chapters

And Playful Land:

Part 1 - 16 chapters

Part 2 - 21 chapters

Part 3 - 11 chapters

Part 4 - 16 chapters

Part 5 - 18 chapters

Generally, Part 1 is dedicated to setting up the scenario and reason for travel. Parts 2 and 3 are meant for exploring the new location, with a big reveal dropping towards the end of 3 that kicks the conflict into high-gear. Part 4 is for combat, and then Part 5 is the continuation of the combat (with a focus on confronting the Big Bad), climax, and resolution. … Did you notice it? GloMasq (the only event of the three I consider overall excellent) is pretty evenly spaced out. Playful Land meanwhile has a weirdly short 11 chapters in Part 3 but had the extremely long 21 chapters in Part 2 beforehand. The discrepancy is made even worse in Nightmare, with Parts 1 and 4 being woefully short and Parts 2 and 3 being 20+ chapters each. It has the (likely unintended) effect of making the conflict resolution feel really rushed.

Alright, I think I've held off for long enough. Let's talk about the elephant in the room, our new addition to the Halloweenies, Mister Skully J. Graves himself. Right from the get-go, he had a mysterious air about him, especially since he's the first ever character to meet his twisted inspiration. Like I said in my first impressions post, I'm really into his design, but his personality shocked me. I expect some whimsy, but not a guy that flat-out kisses everyone he meets and calls total strangers "lovely dears". At the same time, he has the spirit of "sad wet cat" energy, and his expressions can whiplash between that and being absolutely deranged, which I found kinda charming. I get the feeling that he charmed a LOT of fans, as I saw many gushing about his otome-esque behavior and loving how he always calls attention to Yuu and Yuu's opinions. Unfortunately, Skully has what I lovingly dub "Ashengrotto Syndrome" due to my own experiences with Azul. That is to say, I started off liking both Azul and Skully, but after a certain point (book 3 for Azul, part 2 for Skully) they both took a nosedive right into my dislike zone. This is something I vaguely alluded to in my halfway through the event impressions post. I'm under the impression that this is a surprising opinion, so I'll try to do my best to explain why Skully lost his appeal to me. So the initial deterrent was his defensive and controlling behavior surrounding Halloween. He also gets so nasty and speaks down to others who don't see his perspective, which I don't find cute at all. I've mentioned before that I hate it when characters act elitist/gate-keepy and refuse to accept other opinions or change, and Skully fits that bill to a T. Sure, he might have his reasons, but I still find the result of his reasons distasteful. It's fine if he wants to respect the past or celebrate Halloween the way he's been taught, but it's another thing entirely to force those views on others. I've been on the receiving end of this kind of attitude and it was very unpleasant; I would not wish that upon anyone. (To make a long story short, I had invited a friend from outside my culture for a holiday meal so neither of us would be alone that year. That friend then complained that I was eating "non-traditional" food for the holiday.) Really rubbed me the wrong way when Skully started to tell others about HIS Halloween while being totally against everyone else's suggestions. Some of the others (like Jamil) even made an effort to try and include him anyway after his outbursts, and Skully was still unable to accept this lying down.

The hand-kissing thing was... charming at first, because I thought it was just his way of greeting people. But the more Skully did it, the less charming it seemed to me because of how everyone reacts to it. The others are CLEARLY uncomfortable with it, but he disrespects their boundaries by continuing to do so. To me, that seems very invasive and rude. Skully especially kisses Yuu a lot, and whether or not you like it will be up to individual preference--but personally, as someone who doesn't like strangers touching me intimately, I'm not into it.

During the Halloween planning, I noticed Skully speaking to Yuu directly quite often, which is different than the previous Halloween events. I started to feel a little uneasy about this, and for the longest time I could not tell you why. Then I realized. I don't think I can explain it any better than how I did in a previous post, so I'll copy and paste from there:

Another thing that really bothered me was that Skully keeps asking Yuu for their opinion. It SEEMS polite to consider them, but his intentions are way less selfless than they appear. Skully is often asking Yuu for their thoughts AFTER some other character has disagreed with him. So he is literally only consulting Yuu because he wants someone on HIS side. If you ever pick the dialogue option where you disagree with him, Skully insists there must be a misunderstanding and he will explain it to you no matter how long it takes. Don’t you see??? He doesn’t want to know what Yuu truly thinks; he wants validation in his own way of thinking. That’s NOT actually being considerate. The same shit happens when Skully tries to kiss Grim again. Grim dodges but Skully sneaks behind him and kisses him anyway because I guess that’s what gentlemen do according to him. Bro has demonstrated time and time again he does not value consent nor what others’ thoughts are on anything that differs from his own thoughts.

Skully lets his true colors show around the end of the third part. There, he feeds Jack Skellington a sleeping poison, turns Grim into a pumpkin, then takes Jack, Grim, AND Yuu as his hostages while claiming he'll reign over Halloween. Okay, that sounds great on paper, right? But there's so many practical problems with this.

Firstly, HOW does Skully plan to achieve this??? He's not that powerful since he's a first year; how does he intend to stand up to the NRC students? We even know at this point that he can't use his UM that much. Skully has shown he is impulsive and doesn't think ahead too, because he just assumes that Grim figured him out after walking in on the scene of the crime instead of lying/deceiving him about who poisoned Jack. He could have easily blamed someone else or claimed he walked in and found Jack like this already, but he didn't. It comes off as very near-sighted and not well planned out on Skully's part (which may very well be intentional; I don't think he was written to be a large threat.) I know this event's plot isn't meant to be as serious as prior iterations of Halloween events, but it sure doesn't help build tension for the finale.

We find out later in the event that Skully isn't mistreating his captives; he's keeping them in the bathtub Lock, Shock, and Barrel ride around in, feeding Grim and Yuu snacks, and asking them to please keep quiet. He also rambles on a lot about how he admires Yuu and how he wants to grant them a perfect Halloween, etc. That's... wholesome for a kidnapper, I guess??? But what I don't appreciate is (again) how he keeps shoving his ideas onto me and acting like he knows what's best for everyone. He’s not respecting my autonomy or right to think how I want. Skully is literally made of the most negative traits of Idia and Malleus while having none of the danger level of either one/j 😭 This makes me continue to not take him seriously and think that Skully could easily be beaten up--which does, in fact, end up being the case.

The ones who truly shine in this event are Sebek, Jamil, and Leona. The implementation of the SSR squad in Nightmare is much better than Playful Land. In Playful, it felt like Kalim, Ace, and Ortho hardly did anything unique to save the day; instead, it was a convenient phone call that rescued them from demise. The most I can say is Kalim was open-minded and tried to welcome Fellow and hear him out. Most of the other things could have been fulfilled by any other character, which didn't make the SSRs feel as integral as they were in GloMasq (with Azul's UM being needed, Malleus being the one Rollo has beef with, and Idia understanding the feeling of losing a younger brother and mourning). In Nightmare, each of the SSRs is similarly given a chance to shine with their special skills and UMs.

Beginning with Sebek! He leads a lot of the planning and serves as the one to draw up plans, which earns him praise from everyone, including his seniors. It's excellent set-up for him to later confront Skully about the idea of being recognized and acknowledged by one's idols (which I will discuss later in this post). Sebek is also the first to confront Skully on Spiral Hill after Skully has kidnapped Grim, Yuu, and Jack. In an act of desperation, Skully starts firing off magic and making really deranged expressions; Sebek unleashes his own UM, Living Bolt. This results in a strong flash of light in their location. The impact destroys Skully's shades and causes him to break down--he wore them as part of his ensemble, trying so hard to emulate his Halloween idol, Jack. Skully manages to pumpkin Sebek in the midst of his fit, and Sebek insists that Malleus--his own idol--will surely rescue him. NEXT UP IS L*ONA OTL WHO HAS MADE ME SO ILL THE ENTIRE MONTH OF OCTOBER, HURK 🤢 who heard the shouting. He rescues Sebek (he’s de-pumpkin’d) and Skully isn’t able to touch him because King’s Roar is just too OP 😭 (I’m sort of confused about how tf Leona’s UM works though?????? He seems to be sanding Skully’s MAGIC, which shouldn’t even be tangible???) I’m confused. dbsvsjsnskwk And he tells Skully to get back up do he can keep beating him back down????? BRUTAL. Leona’s been pretty useful up until this point too, taking charge in leading the group, strategizing, sussing Skully out, and thinking long and hard about what his true identity is. Bro’s really working those fat brain cells of his, huh…

I think this is the first of the Halloween events (that introduce new characters) where the new guy’s explicitly said to be in danger of OB. Not sure why that is, it’s just interesting to note???

SkULLy RUNS FOR IT and bumps into Lock, Shock, and Barrel, who proceed to subdue him. Surprise, turns out that Jamil had gotten to them first and Snake Whispered the trio. The kids call Jamil MASTER and -SAMA… My guy, you are so repressed 💀 (I recall it being said in book 4 that using his UM on multiple people can result in rapid blog accumulation so UHHHH I guess I’ll overlook this for now or assume 3 people isn’t an issue????) Earlier in the event, Jamil was like the only person to approach Skully to try and include him in the planning. Must be used to this being a big brother + always dealing with his dorm.

I’m not sure if it’s just me but??? It feels like they overlooked how some of the SSR trio’s UMs worked just to have it fit in the context of the climax they wrote. For Jamil’s, maybe you can excuse the fact that he’s controlling 3 kids by saying it’s easier for him to manipulate young minds. BUT THERE’S NO EXCUSING HOW LEONA CAN SAND MAGIC 😭 At least say he has strong defensive magic that Skully cannot break through????

It’s times like these that make me really question whether or not Yuu is actually important for helping these people learn to get along, because they seemed to have resolved the issue just fine without any kind of intervention from Yuu. Yeah, they bickered and picked on each other too, but they still fixed things on their own (albeit on their own, but it comes together in the end anyway) while Yuu is kidnapped and completely out of the picture.

Vcdnsksksksn The moment that follows is kinda funny and wholesome… Well, for the SSR trio, not for Skully. They all sort of rub it in Skully’s face that he lost and then praise each other but in a back-handed way??? Like they call each other nasty and shit at planning, etc. Leona says Jamil bullied Skully so much that the poor thing started crying, then Jamil accuses Leona of threatening Skully a ton… then they gang up on Sebek (wow, they’re both awful and I love that for them).

Seeing this camaraderie makes Skully throw ANOTHER fit because he’s jealous that Sebek gets all this praise and attention. Meanwhile, Skully is all alone, always alone. Though it’s not explicitly stated, it’s implied Skully is deeply insecure about being by himself, as his classmates at school don’t understand him and rejected him + his interests. He extols a lonely and desolate version of Halloween too, something that reflects his own soul... clinging to the only solace he has in this world, the one constant. A holiday that he cherishes so very much--to the point where his own UM is linked back to it. The big dilemma he goes through this event seems to be a mix of having his own views being questioned as well as having his impression of his Halloween idol challenged. This makes Sebek a good foil character for him, similar to how Kalim was for Fellow and Idia for Rollo in the previous Halloween events. Skully even calls out Sebek explicitly, saying that he has all of the things he has never had. He'll never be disappointed by his idol Malleus (sadhbaslidbas this is ironic, considering the events of book 7), he has senpai who praise him, he has Zero for a friend, etc. Life’s soooo unfair, Skully claims. And like??? I was so shocked to see Sebek acting mature about the whole thing??????? He refutes Skully's claims and tells him straight up that to believe in someone isn't to force your own views onto them so your idol stays how you pictures them in your head. It's a mistake to think of one's idol as perfect--not even Malleus is perfect. Even so, Sebek explains that agreeing with someone and loving/respecting them are very different things... so he will accept Malleus's flaws and love him nevertheless. Even if he disagrees with Malleus, even if they have to part ways, Sebek will accept it. That's really surprising coming from him, seeing as how Sebek acts absolutely SURE of Malleus's absolute goodness in the main story... Now I'm wondering if this event must take place after book 7??? Because that's when Sebek has his own views on Malleus totally shaken. Still, I'm so proud of Sebek for dropping this hard truth on Skully--it's definitely something Skully needed to hear and be reminded of to be pulled back to reality. He also just outright calls Skully put for all his cowardly moves, including going after those who cannot fight back 💀 Very Ace of him to do…

Speaking of Skully, what really put the final nail in his coffin and sent him to the Shadow Realm (my dislike tier lol) was all the tantrums he threw this event. I understand being upset and frustrated. Really, I do. I understand being envious of others, of feeling like you've got no one by your side. But is it REALLY necessary to react like that…? And so frequently… He just shouts “shut up” over and over again… OTL I don't know, it feels like I could sympathize with him more if they properly explained why it is Skully is so into Halloween (besides his hometown being the same) and why he holds the past in such high regard. The most we get is it's just something his hometown is into and when he left for school, none of his peers really accepted that. Is the implication that Skully retreated further into his hyperfixation to cope with his loneliness????? If so, I'm not sure if this was properly conveyed so now Skully is left acting like a big baby and overreacting to everyone trying to get him to calm down. The worst of it is when he claims he’s the one who TRULY loves Halloween and everyone else is fake. That sounds like something straight out of an angry elitist otaku’s vent post. Other characters acted similar to this when on the brink of OB (which Skully was) but never so childishly. This might just be a me thing though, I don't really care for overly emotional characters; they're usually not my cup of tea.

I'm not sure how I feel about everyone forgiving Skully and partying with him at the end for the Halloween celebration. On one hand, yeah, forgiving him makes sense because it's not like he was plotting anything crazily world shattering like Rollo or a participating in a large-scale crime ring like Fellow. Skully didn't really harm anyone (though he did try to shatter someone he pumpkin’d), at least not on a large scale like Rollo and Fellow did. On the other hand, I think it was a little bit too overdone with how sappy it was??? Like why did Jack say he was PROUD of Skully for being so passionate that he went to these extremes for Halloween? Why did Jack give Skully a HEAD PAT after the shenanigans he pulled?? I felt that saying he's forgiven and inviting him to join the festivities anyway would be sufficient. And again, I detest how Skully disregarded everyone’s consent and kissed them (Yuu and the SSR trio) as an apology even when they (SSR trio) already made it clear they didn’t want to be kissed. That just felt super gross to me, not funny or cute 😔

One of the big highlights of this event was, of course, the Twst cover of This is Halloween. Everything about it is just so... *chef's kiss* from the strong vocal performance to the perfect selection of characters to recreate each scene. It's a shame that we can't access the song outside of this event, but I know that I'll be playing it on an endless loop off of Youtube 😂

For all of the issues I had with the story up until this point, I'll be the first to say that the ending was genuinely sweet. Skully actually expresses gratitude towards everyone (a first, lmao) and calls us his friends, the best thing that has ever happened to him, etc. He wants to meet with everyone and celebrate Halloween with them again. BUT. I don't like that he singled out Yuu specifically as someone he really likes. I get the same feelings from him as I do with Malleus... Like, there's a weird over-familiarity and attachment he has with Yuu despite Yuu not doing or saying much to bond with him. His reaction seems unwarranted to me, with a lot of the appeal of his friendship coming from how much the player projects onto him. (And to be clear, I say this ONLY for myself, as Yuu is meant to be a character for self-inserting; in the case where I put myself in Yuu's shoes, I would be uncomfortable with how Skully is acting toward me.)

Now we get to the ending that seems to have emotionally broken the fandom.

I said earlier in this post that I don't like Lost in the Book events, and another reason for that is because there's amnesia involved at the end. I feel like an event isn't worth it if the memories get wiped anyway because then it's like the events never happened at all. However, Nightmare actually played with this trope and did something really cool with it. Even though those who leave the book have their memories erased, they're still left with some residual feelings that can propel people to act. In the Stitch event, this resulted in the boys wanted to vacation to the beach. In Nightmare, Skully--who was transported within the book from his original time HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO--was so touched by the connections he made in the book that he essentially becomes a changed man. He graduates from NRC and travels the world to spread the joy of Halloween, thus being responsible for why it's such a big holiday in modern Twisted Wonderland, the era which our main cast is from.

No one remembers the book's events, but Skully is so thoroughly motivated by his lost memories... He somehow recreates the Nightmare Suit, BUT DROPS THE SHADES (a symbol of him trying to emulate Jack) BECAUSE HE HAS NOW BECOME HIS OWN PERSON. He shares a jubilant version of Halloween because that's the version he cherished celebrating with his idol and first real friends. History doesn't remember him, but his legacy is still going strong. LIKE THE GAO POSE... DID IT ORIGINATE FROM HIM???? ? ? ? ??????? ?? AND NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT ALL THE FUN THE GHOSTS AND STUDENTS HAD IN THE FIRST EVER HALLOWEEN EVENT... BECAUSE OF HIM SPREADING THE HOLIDAY AROUND

The NRC students don't remember him either, but they must somewhere in the deepest recesses of their hearts... CUZ THEY ALL STILL MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT HIM, LIKE LEONA SAYING BRO LOOKS LIKE A PATHETIC LITTLE MEOWMEOW (exaggeration). There's also the implication that Skully's spirit is still around, since the characters remark feeling a strange cooling sensation on the back of their hands. We never SEE him, but we sense that there's something there. In the end, they promise that they'll make the best Halloween ever in honor of his legacy and we get sequel bait.

Twst REALLY had to go and drop that ending on us and then peace out, huh 🤡 It's hard to put my feelings about this ending into words, but I think I would personally describe it as very bittersweet yet romantic. Not lovey-dovey romantic, but like... it portrays a hopeful future even though it's sad too. Like, it's tragic that the NRC students and Skully will never be able to celebrate together again. But isn't it cool that even though they were born in totally different eras, fate still allowed them to meet and completely change the course of history? And even if they forget about their encounter, that meeting still impacts them to this very day. It changed the world and their lives forever. Reaching for that thing you're missins and forgetting, without really know what it is... Something lingering there, without a form... There's something so dream-like about the concept, I have to commend the Twst devs for coming up with it. In that sense, I'm quite satisfied with the conclusion despite the bumps in the road I ran into on the way.

IN CONCLUSION. Yeah, I thought this event was another mixed bag. The pacing was bad and nothing that interesting happened since the story was mainly about preparing for Halloween. I'm not a fan of Skully. However, what I can say is that Nightmare had a good showcase of Sebek, Jamil, and Leona's strong suits and actually allowed them to resolve the crisis. The ending is also much stronger than Playful Land's and poses many interesting questions about Skully and his impact on history.

[hisnumber1]

Devil's Embrace

Paring: Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Summery: (Y/n) had found herself at the hazbin hotel. She never thought of redemption but she got a free room while she does her work. (Y/n) made outfits and tailored for people if they pay enough. She loves trying to make unique dresses for balls or for higher class. Keeping her name in the high class of hell, she tailored for the king of hell himself. Finding herself tailoring for him in the hotel of his daughter is an interesting situation.

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: fluff, slowburn, close proximity.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

I find myself leaning back in my seat, sighing. Watching AngleDust flirt with Husker and he growls in response. Charlie is putting more stuff on her board as she tries to figure out how to make the hotel work. I jump back on feet, strolling down the hallway ways to get to my room. I walk into my room filled with drawing and projects I've worked on. I fall flat on my face into my bed, I turn my head, looking at my recent project of a dress.

The dress was a long ballroom dress, with a long v going down the chest. The sleeves were mesh, and at the top it came off the shoulder. The skirt came out and poofed out, with the back covered in a long black mesh. The dress was white, with highlights of red, all of the mesh was black, giving it a dark energy.

Something just seems off, I don't know what it is but it just does. I hear a ping come from across the room. Lifting up my head and seeing my phone light up, I groan as I pull myself up. Walking to my table, I grab my phone and sit on the table. I read the notification, it was an email. I tapped on it, scanning over the text.

"Dear Ms. (L/n),

I hope this email finds you well. I recently purchased a suit, while I am pleased with the quality and style, I find that it is slightly larger than my measurements. Therefore, I am writing to inquire about the possibility of having it tailored to a smaller size.

The suit in question is a white Shawl Lapel with red highlights, the fabrics are jacquard and velvet, and I purchased it about a week ago. I have attached a copy of the receipt for your reference.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide me with information on the process and cost involved in resizing the suit. Additionally, if you require any further measurements or details, please do not hesitate to let me know.

I am eager to have the suit adjusted so that it fits perfectly, and I trust your expertise in handling this matter. I am available to schedule an appointment at your earliest convenience.

Thank you for your attention to this request. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Warm regards,

Lucifer Morningstar"

I sigh as I look at the photos he sent. It is a beautiful suit, but if I did it, the style would be better, but it is not mine. Thinking of what the price is, I need to get his exact measurements to tailor it correctly. Pressing the reply button, I started typing out my reply.

'Dear Mr. Morningstar,

Thank you for reaching out and for providing the details regarding your suit purchase. I appreciate your trust in our tailoring services.

I will be more than happy to assist you with resizing your suit to ensure a perfect fit. Before proceeding, could you please bring the suit to my studio for a fitting session? This will allow me to accurately assess the alterations needed and provide you with a precise cost estimate.

Once I have examined the suit, we will discuss the adjustments required and provide you with a timeline for completion.

Please let us know a convenient time for you to visit our store, and we will schedule an appointment accordingly. Feel free to contact us if you have any further questions or concerns.

Looking forward to seeing you soon and assisting you with your tailoring needs.

Best regards,

(Y/n) (L/n)'

I read over the email before hitting send. 'Wait, isn't Charlie his daughter?' I thought as I look back over his name. I press another reply button and put the the address, letting him know where he could meet me. Tossing my phone onto my bed, I walk out into the lobby again, sitting on the bar stool. "A shot of anything strong." I grumbled at Husk, he was cleaning a glass when he heard me. "What's the occasion?" He asked grabbing a shot glass before pouring some. "Work." I groan with my head on the bar, keeping my eyes shut, my headache gets worse with light.

"Ever thought of getting anything for those migraines?" Husk asked when he placed down the shot, I look up, grabbing the shot and downing it. "Another please. I've looked into it, but I don't need to, I'll just deal with it." Sighing as I push the shot towards Husk. He shakes his head as he pours another one, pushing it towards me. Taking the glass and downing it again.

I hear Charlie in the lobby talking to Vaggie about something, I turn to her. "Hey Charlie. Your dad is gonna come in a few days." I slur out, catching her attention she turned me wide eyed. "What?" She asked as she walked closer. "I'm tailoring a suit of his, I told him I need to take measurements cause he could have grown in the last year." I replied to her. "So he's coming to the hotel?" "Yeah, I think so." Replying to her she chuckled a but before pacing back and forth. "He's only gonna be in my room, just to get measured. He's one my highest paying customers." I chuckle, feeling the alcohol get to my system.

"He emailed me a few minutes ago about getting a suit tailored. I told him that I needed for take his measurements and then I would come up with the price." I explain to her. Charlie's pacing got faster, but she's stops when Vaggie puts her hand on her shoulder. "When would he be here?" Vaggie asked me and I shrugged.

"I can go see if he answered if you would like?" I got up from my seat, walking to my room. Opening my door, I walk to my bed, grabbing my phone. I look at the notifications, seeing a email. I walk out to the lobby, opening the email.

"Dear Ms. (L/n),

Thank you for your prompt response and for offering to assist with resizing my suit. I appreciate your attention to detail and professionalism in addressing my tailoring needs.

I will certainly bring the suit to your studio for a fitting session. I propose scheduling the appointment for this Friday afternoon around 2:00 PM. Please let me know if this time works for you, or if an alternative time would be more convenient.

I look forward to meeting with you and discussing the necessary alterations. Thank you once again for your assistance, and I am confident in your expertise to ensure a perfect fit for my suit.

Best regards,

Mr. Morningstar"

I read out loud. Charlie pauses and starts pacing again. "He can't come. We don't even know if this works. If he comes he'll know I failed." Charlie said lowly, Vaggie hugs her and kisses her cheek. "It'll be fine love." She said as she pulled away from the hug. Vaggie looked over at me and sighed. "He'll be here in two days, just make sure he is only here for that a not going anywhere else. Charlie isn't ready to face him at the moment." She said as she looked up at the clock to check the time.

I nod, I grab the shot glass and down the last one before walking to my room. Falling onto my bed, a breath left my lungs as I hit the bed. I turn over and pick up my phone, unlocking it and looking at the photo of the suit. Thinking for a second, it looks a lot like the dress. Looking between my phone and the dress on the lay figure, they would look together.

Standing up from my bed, I tiptoe to the sewing mannequin. I run my finger across it, looking back at the photo and then back at the dress. A light bulb lit up and I ran to my desk, grabbing safety pins. Taking out my sewing needles, turning on my machine, grabbing buttons. I pull the mannequin next to the desk, sketching out the idea in my head.

A bang woke me from my slumber, I jerk up and look around. Standing in my door way is AngleDust, he looks out of breath. "(Y/n)! My shirt is ruined!" He said as he walked closer with his torn shirt. I groan and put my head back on the desk. "You alright toots?" He asks as he puts his arm on my shoulder. "I'm fine, I finally figured out what was wrong with the dress, and I fixed it. There is a problem though, Lucifer is gonna be here tomorrow and he's kinda matching with his suit." A groan left my mouth, Angle walks over to dress. "It's gorgeous. I mean it's always been." He said as he looked over it.

Sighing as I felt my eyes closing. I stayed up all night working on it, adding new fabrics, adding the details. I felt myself falling asleep again as Angle looked over the dress.

My eyes slowly open, I groan as I sit up. "My back hurts like hell." Groaning as I stood up. It looked dark out, I must have slept all day. Walking out of my room into the lobby, the lights were still on so someone was awake. Yawning as I walk to the bar, my eyes saw Alastor, he was sitting on the couch as he read a newspaper. "Morning Al." I yawn as I pour myself something to drink.

His head perked up at my voice. "Morning, you know it's in the late afternoon right?" He asked as he placed his newspaper down.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep last night. So I slept all day." Yawning as I walk over to the couch, sitting next to Alastor. "Why didn't you sleep?" He asked as he sipped his drink. "Working on that dress." I groan. He hummed in response. I downed the rest of my drink before standing up. "Well Lucifer is coming over tomorrow, so I need to sleep. Night Al." "Oh goodnight (Y/n)." He grinned.

I step into my room, closing the door behind me. Sighing as I walk over to my bed, sitting on the edge before falling backwards. Grunting at the sudden stop, I throw my arm over my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Waking up to my alarm, I groan. I slowly sit up and turn off my phone. I whimper as the sun hits my eyes, I have to get ready and clean up for the appointment. I pick up my phone reading the time, but I saw that I had a email.

'Dear Ms. (Y/n),

Hello, I hope this email finds you in good health. I wanted to make an appointment to have a meeting. I want some new clothes by your hand. If you have the time for a meeting please contact me.

Love,

Valentino <3'

I read over the email before putting my phone down. I really don't want to deal with him right now, I sighed as I went to my drawers. Pulling out some presentable clothes, then walking to my restroom to take a shower. I turn the knob letting the water start, after I pull my clothes off of me, letting it hit the floor. Pulling my undergarments off before sliding into the shower. The hot water hitting my skin and wetting every inch of my body.

I put shampoo in my hair and scrub it in, soap going down my body as I rinse my hair out. Grabbing the bottle for conditioner, letting my hair run under water. Pouring some into my hand before scrubbing it into my scalp. I let the conditioner soak, I wash my body before rinsing off everything. Turning off the water, I grab a towel and put it around my body.

Walking into my room, striding to my bed, where I put my clothes. Taking the towel and drying off my hair before dressing myself. After wards I look at the time, it read 12:47 pm. I sigh, I still have almost two hours before he gets here. I look around the room, seeing my room is a mess, knowing us have to clean it sooner or later.

Cleaning up my room, putting everything in place before he gets here and picking up trash and dirty laundry. I organized everything and I looked at the time, it was 1:36 pm. My eyes widen as I look at the time. "Shit he'll be here soon!" I yelled at myself and I got a new mannequin out for the suit, making sure I knew where everything I needs was. Keeping track of time, I brushed my hair and put on light makeup, so I didn't look like I was dying.

Getting myself mentally prepared to see the sin of pride. He was cocky everytime you saw him, not a bad cocky but like 'he knows he's hot and he's not afraid to show it off' cocky. The man was hot, I can't denie that.

I walk to the lobby waiting for the knock, not a second later I hear it. Walking to the door, slowly opening it to reveal Lucifer. "(Y/n), it's been to long." He grinned as walked in to the hotel, his eyes shifted all over the lobby. "We will be working in a room back here, just follow me." I say as I lead the way to my room. He gladly follows along behind me, still looking everywhere. We make it to my room and I close the door after he walks in.

"Now if you would please stand here." I ask him to stand on a X mark on the floor. He looked down and nods with a smile. "So how have you been (Y/n)? I haven't seen you in about a year." He asked as he gave me the suit. "Eh, tired. I have been working on a new dress over that year, I finally finished it the day before yesterday." I reply, setting the suit on the mannequin.

"Yeah? May I see it?" He asked as he looked around my room. I nodded and I walked into my other room, I have to rooms attached to each other for my bed room and my studio. Rolling the mannequin out, the jewels sparkled in the sun light.

"That is gorgeous." Lucifer said as he walked over, feeling the fabric. "It looks a little familiar." He said as he put his hand on his chin. His eyes caught on the suit and he gasped. "It's like a set! The dress and my suit." Lucifer stated as his eyes light up. I chuckled and nodded. "I noticed that when you sent me the photos."

"I would love to buy it." He said as he looked at it. I stopped in my tracks. "What?" I asked with a chuckle. "How much, I could gift it to my daughter." He stated as he started pulling out his wallet. "I'm not selling it right now. I actually made it for myself, kinda a dream dress." I chuckled nervously.

You could practly hear his face light up. "I've never seen you wear a dress." He said surprised. "Well yeah, I don't like wearing them." "You should put it on." He said. "No." I said flatly.

"Oh come on (Y/n). You even match with the king if hell, why not put it on?" He asked. "Lucifer, I need to start measurements, please stand where you were." I said with no tone. He was a persistent man. "Come on, I would love to see you in it." He purred out. "Lucifer arms up." I said with a measuring tape in my hands. "Come on." He whined out.

As he is begging me to put on the dress, I just ignore him and measure his body. As I measuring his bust to his groan there was blast and the hotel shaked. Causing Lucifer to tumble over and fall on me.

I closed my eyes at feeling of the rumbling, so I didn't know how close he was to me. "Well hello gorgeous." I hear Lucifer say, I open my eyes to see his face a few inches away from mine. "Oh you're wearing makeup, it looks good on you." He complemented me. "Lucifer get up." I say as I start pushing him. "I am darling." He chuckled. Standing up, he offered me a hand, which I gladly took.

"Well that didn't sound good." He stated as he dusted himself off, I nodded in agreement. "I actually finished measuring you, I would probably charge you about $230." I said as I looked over my notebook, adding the measurements. "Always straight to business. That's what I liked about you." He chuckled. Taking money from his wallet, handing it over to me, before I pull away he takes my hand, bringing it to his lips. Kissing my knuckles for a moment before pulling away. "Well I'll see myself out, and you should probably check what that sound was." Lucifer said as he started walking out of my room.

Watching him walk off, I felt the heat leave my face. When did that happen? When did my face get so hot? I asked myself, but just blew it off as me just getting hot. Placing down my money on the table, and I hear another bang. Groaning as more rubble falls down in my room. "Ughhh! What is that!?" I yelled out.

A/n: My first story on here and I plan to write more. Sorry if I update slow but I'll get around to doing it!

[eightmakesonebraincell]

i have a little request! what happens with mafia mingi & yn? do they ever meet again? if so, how?

same with wooyoung! do they still meet at the convenience store every night? did he bring the others over to introduce reader to them?

oh im curious yeahhhhh

ateez as mafia members pt 2

original post here

pairing: mafia!mingi x reader, mafia!wooyoung x reader, mentions of ot8!mafia

genre: fluff, crack, a continuation of the mafia tropes brainrot-fest

length: 2.1k

c/w: explicit language, violence, weapons, mentions of alcohol, unedited

a/n: thank you anon for requesting (and special thanks @sorryimananti-romantic for validating my writing 🫶) this was only meant to be like a five dot-point thing explaining what happens, but obviously mafia!ateez has me in their chokehold. mafia!ateez in my brain: it's free real estate

mingi

it takes a few days for you to reopen your bar after your fateful meeting with ccg

ccg as in cute coat guy

because quite frankly, that night shook you up a little

mingi most definitely notices your absence

but it's not like he can just check up on how you're doing

not when your bar is closed and he has no real excuse to show up apart from "i was worried about you"

after he reports back to base and rejoins ateez, hongjoong's girlfriend offers to hack into the database and find out what your phone number is

("it'll literally take me like, two seconds")

mingi refuses though because he wants to do things the right way

at least...when it comes to things concerning you

after you reassure yourself that the thugs chasing after cute coat guy aren't going to kill you by association, you feel safe enough to open up the mist again

his leather coat usually sits draped over your chair behind the countertop

originally, you think about washing it before returning it to him

...whenever he shows up you suppose

but then you kind of like the smokey smell of gunpowder with an underlying hint of his cologne that is on the coat

so you leave it as it is

in fact, you might have actually worn it a couple of times

you like how the end of the coat brushes against your calves, how the sleeves fall past your fingertips, how it engulfs your entire frame like an embrace

but mostly, you like how it reminds you of the handsome stranger; who claims he is a good bad guy; who you still do not know the name of

you wonder if he made it back safely that night

you're wearing the coat as you're closing up for the night - it's already well past midnight

you're just about to reach for the last glass on one of the tables when you hear the door to your bar opening

"sorry, i’m closed for the nigh- oh," you pause

it’s ccg

who currently has one leg and arm halfway through the threshold of your door, now frozen mid-step at your words

“if now’s not a good time, i can come back another day?” he starts out hesitantly

“now’s great! good. yes,” you chuckle nervously and try not to be too enthusiastic at his appearance. “now’s good, come in”

you catch his eyes briefly flicker down for a moment before they return to your eyes

then he gives you a soft look and greets you gently, “hi”

“hi,” you return, brain shutting down on you

“you look cute in that,” he jerks his chin down slightly to motion at what he was looking at just moments ago

his leather coat

that you are currently wearing

you squeak in embarrassment, hands fumbling to take it off while you vomit out explanations as to why you’re wearing it

your fingers get caught up in the sleeves

but then he is stepping closer slowly so as not to alarm you, before he grasps the ends of the sleeves and helps tug them off your arms

mingi can’t help but use the opportunity to tenderly hold one of your hands

he’s missed the way your smaller hands fit snugly in his

“did you come back for your coat?” you try to break the silence, because otherwise you are afraid he will hear the heartbeats coming from inside your chest

he nods, “wanted to make sure you were okay, too”

there is a third reason that he does not say

that he just wanted to see you

“i’m okay now,” you reassure him

because he’s back now and he’s safe

he folds the leather coat and places it on the countertop before he says, “i don’t think i ever got your name?”

you tell him then ask him for his

“mingi”

“mingi,” you repeat

he repeats your name in return

“mingi,” you say yet again

“y/n”

you both laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole conversation

“mingi, want to help me close the bar?”

and so you find yourself in his company as you give him easy tasks to do

closing up has always been a tedious job, especially when your body and mind are groggy with fatigue

but with mingi around, an accidental brush whenever you shuffle past each other, a conversation easily flowing between you both, you are awake as ever

even long after all the tables and shot glasses have been cleaned and polished, floors swept, bottles of alcohol reorganised, mingi still has not left

and at some point during the night once you two sit at the countertop to rest your legs, both of you have subconsciously inched closer together in your seats, bodies seeking the warmth and proximity of the other

you are unsure how long you two talk for

but just like that first, fateful meeting with mingi, he stands up to take his leave all too soon

“goodnight, mingi”

mingi buffers for a minute before he decides to do it

he reaches out for your hand, clasping it gently to bring it up to his lips as he presses a light kiss against the back of your hand

and with a goodbye of his own, he turns for the door

except he lingers in the doorway, asking, “will i see you again?”

a smile graces your lips at the irony of the situation and you tell him it's not like you'll be going anywhere; he's free to come visit any time

but you also feel your stomach flutter

because last time, you were the one tugging on mingi’s vest, timidly wondering if that was going to be the last you saw of him

tonight, he is the one unwilling to part ways

not to say that you aren’t either

“i’ll see you around, then,” he says with finality, voice still soft-spoken

and then he leaves

but just mere seconds later you spot it

his leather coat

still folded on your counter where he had placed it earlier

"wait, your coat!" you rush outside with it

mingi is only a few feet away

he could very easily turn around and take it from you

but then he just winks, gives you a tip of his hat and says, "next time," before he's walking away again

you chew on the inside of your cheek to stop the silly grin from blooming across your face

because something tells you that you're going to be hanging on to mingi's coat for him for a while

even after next time

wooyoung

it feels like deja vu

a whole gang of mafia members sauntering into your convenience store like a scene straight out of a movie

admittedly, they are much more pleasing to the eye than the group that was chasing after wooyoung weeks ago

but still

these are several muscular men in tank tops, leather jackets and heavy chained necklaces

your hand itches for the comforting weight of the pepper spray in your purse that wooyoung had gotten you just last week

you haven't had a reason to need it since wooyoung basically lives in your store now

and he always walks you home after your shift

but now seems like a more than good enough time to use it

"you usually work the night shift here?"

a voice causes your eyes to snap up

the man at the head of the group addresses you with a quirk of his brow - it's pierced, you notice

"...yeah," you answer

you wonder if this is your last shift at work and at life

and then just like a repeat of last time, you spot wooyoung's frantic bounce of curls appear from across the street of your store

you pray to the heavens above that he isn't being chased by anyone else this time

because the thought of two gangs crossing paths inside your modest store?

you don't think it's going to look like a store after their fight is through

you see the way wooyoung's eyes widen when he spots the thugs just mere feet away from you and you see a curse form on his lips

you just need to hold out until he gets here

wooyoung will keep you safe

wooyoung will-

"then you must know," the man leans in a little closer to grab your attention, "where i can find-"

wooyoung bursts through the door

"-the super sour gummy worms?" the man finishes

you physically cannot help the words that blurt out of you in disbelief, "the fuck you just say?" 

"hongjoong!" wooyoung's piercing shout interrupts you both

wooyoung worms his way through the gang and you stare incredulously at him before you say, "the fuck did you just say?"

he ignores you in favour of pressing his hands against the chest of the man - hongjoong? - and trying to push him towards the doors of your store

quite unsuccessfully, you must add

"the fuck are you guys doing here?" wooyoung yells

"what the fuck is going on?" you demand

"holy fuck, not even hongjoong swears this much"

"fuck yeah, potty mouth!"

"stop swearing you fucktards!"

one of the men who has been lingering on the edge of the group sidles up to the counter, looking at you with an apologetic grimace

"sorry you have to deal with...this," he shakes his head just as another man comes to join you both, "i'm jongho, by the way"

"seonghwa," the other man introduces himself with a gentle voice

these mafia men are surprisingly kind

and normal

except, you suppose, anyone in comparison to wooyoung would be normal

"are you all wooyoung's, uhh, friends?" you don't know whether they know you know

they chuckle, "yeah, we're his friends. his brothers, too, you could say"

you realise the rest of the men have started to settle down and are standing in a rough semi-circle around your counter

wooyoung is currently grumbling and muttering indignantly under his breath with someone's arm thrown over his shoulders, though it looks more like he's a child being scolded by his father than it looks a friendly gesture

"so to what do i owe the pleasure of a visit from all of you?" you ask them, now that there is no swearing being thrown across the room and you realise they aren’t going to shoot you through the head

"had to see for ourselves who was making our wooyoung all smitten. always sneaking out at night like a tween"

"yunho!" wooyoung hisses and elbows said man in the ribs

except with the height difference, it's more like his hips

it's amusing to see how everyone has the upper hand over wooyoung's brattiness

"am i meeting the in-laws already?" you smirk at wooyoung, "you like me or something, jung wooyoung?"

he flushes bright red and you're quite positive that if you made him take his socks off, you would find him blushing straight down to his toes

"that's it!" he hollers, arms flailing and shooing everyone, "out! out! out!"

you know they can easily resist his pushy hands, but they simply snicker and let themselves be herded towards the doors

"bye, darling!" someone jumps up and down to catch your gaze over the heads of everyone else

"shut up, san!"

yunho, you think you recall his name being, flutters his fingers at you cheekily, "we'll be back soon!"

and then he lets out an indignant yelp when wooyoung slaps his back with a screech, "no, you guys won't!"

you're laughing heartily by this point, unrestrained and very much enjoying their antics

"bye, everyone," you wave them off and then blow wooyoung an exaggerated kiss, "see you later, wooyoungie!"

everyone cackles with glee at the sight of him trying to dig himself into the ground

the sound of their ruckus finally dies down as they exit and walk further away from your store

and then you hear a distant wail

"i didn't get my gummy worms!"

you shake your head with a fond smile and take a seat at the register, but not before setting aside a pack of those ‘super sour gummy worms’ for hongjoong

and then, like always, you look at the clock and count the seconds as they tick past

counting down the seconds until wooyoung comes back to see you

again

[bethebesttoyou]

Hii, so there's this song by Adele called All I Ask, it's so sad but so beautiful :(

If you like the song, could you maybe write something based off of it? Although the song is just sad, it would be amazing if you could make it into a fluff ending >.<

ALL I ASK - CHOI YEONJUN

synopsis: As the clock continues to tick, you realize that pretending won't stop the inevitable from happening. Yeonjun is leaving.

pairing: Idol!Yeonjun x afab!reader

song: All I Ask - Adele ( I love sad music so much frfr)

warning: angst with fluff ending!!! suggestive writing in the end ( at least it tries to be LMAO), ummmm that's it I think. lots of crying, reader is low-key dramatic (I would also crash out personally) OH ALMOST FORGOT UNEDITED.... currently being rushed out the door so if its bad.... im sorry LMAO

Wc: 1.9k :3

A/N: anon... first let me just say THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST!!!!!! I woke up to it and honestly, it made my day!!!! Thank you a bunches!!! also... are we all just blasting Adele lately?? Are we okay?? Ive been listening to her all week, her songs heal me, even if they're sad LMAO. Anyways, All I ask is one of my favorites, so I hope I did her justice :,3. Thank you again! and I hope you enjoy!! PS I took some liberties, including the member >.< wasn't sure if you wanted one specific but I went with the member that fit the scenario the best!! OKAY ENOUGH RAMBLING!!!! >3<.

The restaurant had been buzzing with laughter and glasses clinking together as you watched Yeonjun rave about the preparations for the upcoming tour with an enthusiastic yet stressed gleam in his eyes. While he seemed tired, you can tell he loved this, he loved what he did, even when it took everything out of him. It made the bitterness and agony you felt in your stomach contort to guilt. 

The dance practices, the lack of his things around your apartment, the change of hair color, everything reminded you more and more that he was leaving. Ofcourse, you were happy for him, how could you not be? Having to witness the years and years of sacrifices he put into the team, the training, the long nights he'd spend going over dance routines to the point of ultimate exhaustion… He was finally making it big, getting his well deserved flowers. But it didn't make the leaving any easier. The guilt for the borderline selfishness and bitterness for having to share him with others was tearing you apart. Having to feel his absence everyday was going to take its toll on you, as it did everytime he departed, something that you never wanted to admit in fear of ruining these experiences for him. But these feelings were there, and hard to ignore. 

And yet, you smile widely and laugh as he tells you about Taehyun and Kai fighting in the middle of practice. It's his last day in the country, before he flies out tomorrow, and while the other members are working on packing and last minute wardrobe changes, Yeonjun was able to do all of that in advance, securing a free day for you and only you. 

The day was filled with a drive, your favorite way to spend time together, with your hand in his, him kissing your knuckles every so often, before placing them back down on your lap, catching your gaze and smiling softly. Along the countryside, Yeonjun would stop at every scenery you gasp at, letting you take in the beautiful green landscapes, snapping a picture of you before heading your way to the next one. He always knew how to keep you out of your thoughts too, his presence itself was enough for you to feel at ease, allowing you for just a day, relishing in the idea that your relationship was convenient, normal…easy. For the day, it was just you and him. Kissing him, holding him, rarely leaving any space between you unless absolutely necessary, it felt like a dream, with him it always did. But, as the clock ticked, and the servers cleaned the now empty tables around you, time was starting to feel real and fast. 

You must've gone quiet, spacing out on the plate in front of you, when you feel a hand placed over yours. 

“Don't think about it too much, ” Yeonjun says softly, his thumb caressing your palm, he smiles sadly, “the day’s not over yet.” 

You smile, “I know…You're right…okay, did I ever tell you about Ryujin at work?” You say shaking the feeling, hoping the lump on your throat can disappear. He shakes his head, smiling before eating another piece off his plate. 

—

The car ride home had been mostly silent, the pressure of the next morning finally undermining the playful mood of the day. It wasn't like you wanted the mood to sour, but it was hard to ignore the inevitable. 

Hes going to be gone for months.

Even if this wasn't your first time, each time felt like you couldn't fathom it. It felt like a pit in your stomach, the sheer thought made you fidget and shudder, worrying that this time was going to be the breaking point, for either of you. What if he realizes the idol life was easier without a relationship? What if ghosting becomes easy? What if drifting apart becomes inevitable?These overwhelming thoughts had easily filled you with despair, you hadn't noticed you were already inside the house, changing into pajamas before sitting on the bed, ready to break. It wasn't until he came from behind you, kissing your shoulder, that you can't keep it in anymore. He feels your shoulders shake and instantly wraps his arms around you, his face resting at the crook of your neck. 

“I'm sorry…” You say hiding your face in your hands as you feel the sudden tears in your eyes. “I'm trying really hard not to do this right now,” you laugh, “I just…I don't know, I'm sorry.” 

“Its okay, baby… just let it out…” You feel splotches of water hit your collarbone, and you realize he's crying too. Something about him missing you made you feel less alone in this pain. He turns you around, and you both chuckle softly as you reflect each other in puffy red eyes. He grabs your hands and leads you to lay in bed, him going down first, before pulling you on top of him. 

“I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm really sorry.” His quavering voice breaks the silence, your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat slowly beat against your ear. You both had calmed down by now, waiting for the drowsiness to take effect. Even just moments like these, of pure comfortable silence, made you want to hold him tighter and not let go. 

“dont be…I get it…As much as I want you to stay, I would never forgive you or myself if you did.” You pick at the fabric of his shirt. 

It was true. He deserved to embark on the achievements he's made, and while you were heartbroken, there was no doubt in your mind that you would be his biggest supporter, no doubt that pride would fill your body, watching him succeed in real time. You would always cheer him on, even if he was a thousand, millions of miles away. 

“Dont get tired of waiting, please. If you start to, call me and I'll come back.” He whispers. 

“Never. That’ll never happen. I'm yours, always…” you say looking up at him, and smile, “you…dont forget about me, okay?” 

“Impossible…” he smiles back down at you and your eyes well up again. 

“Stop making me cry!” you laugh, wiping your face in his shirt. 

“You're making me cry!” 

After hours of refusing to fall asleep, you both eventually did, only to be woken up by the dreadful alarm. You watch as he grabs his bags, making him a small travel sized breakfast before leaving, moving in silence the entire time. The car ride was spent in pecks and silent knowing looks, before eventually just resting your head on his shoulder, waiting to arrive at your destination. It wasn't until getting to the airport and meeting with the rest of the guys, did you start engaging normally, trying to once again, save face and act normal. 

Once it was time to say goodbye, you gave each member a hug, giving them a list of demands: stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often. Yeonjun reserved himself for last, telling them to hurry up from the back, before eventually making it in front of you, clearing his throat. Taehyun ushers the rest a couple of steps away, giving you some space. 

“Junie,” you clear yours too before continuing, “Stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often…”

“And?” he whispers, water beginning to fill the lining of his brown soft eyes. 

“and…I love you.” You say before looking around, bringing his mask down and pecking him on the lips one last time, pulling it back up and smiling through a sniffle. 

“I love you” he whispers. His hug lasts longer than the rest, and the sniffles continue before you realize they're waiting for him. 

“You gotta go...” 

“Wait… just a bit longer.” he says from your neck. You don’t fight him, only holding him tighter. 

“Hey, last call…” his manager calls out, and you feel him hesitate before letting you go. 

“I love you, I'll call you once we land!” he smiles, kissing your hand one last time, before jogging turning back to only turn back and wave, the boys follow suit, and you wave back. 

It isn't when you no longer see them but a few minutes after, that you decide it's time to go home, already reminiscing on the ghosting feeling of his hands on yours. 

—--

Months later…

Youre pacing around the house, repositioning some items before returning them into their original positions. You honestly couldn't clean anymore, nor fix your dress or your hair, as you had done so already a billion times. Dinner was definitely done, as you kept thinking of sides to add to the table, you basically overdid it. Yeonjun was coming home, on his way from the airport to be exact, and you didn't know how to act. You felt the nerves all over your body, preventing you from just staying still. To say you were excited and scared was an understatement. Your job and school had stopped you from visiting him, resulting in you both relying on facetime and texting. Time and time again, you would grow wary when Yeonjun would leave, believing things would change, you would disappear, only for him to prove you entirely wrong. He had texted or called or updated almost every single day, sent gifts to the house regularly, left notes hidden around the house for you to find, anything that he could have possibly done to keep you from feeling lonely he did. You , ofcourse, met him halfway, leaving voicemails every morning before heading to work, reminding him to rest, sending him updates on loved ones, things you believed he might have missed from home. Your relationship only flourished, making you realize just how strong it actually was. It always was. 

But nothing can beat the feeling of love face to face. You realize that now, as you sit on the armrest of the couch in urgency, waiting for that doorknob to even remotely jiggle. 

When it does, you're already opening it, and he's standing there, key in his hand, in sunglasses and smiling widely. 

“Well, hello…” he laughs and stands in shock. 

“Oh my god…” You say, before practically jumping on him, and he drops his bags, catching you, his hands causing waves of shock from the back of your thighs to the rest of your body. 

“Oh, Baby…” he whispers into your ear, “I missed you so much.” He's walking in, not really caring about the bags he's left outside, nor the fact that the boys probably laughed when they saw you pounce on him. 

“I missed you…I missed you. I can't believe you’re back.” 

He sets you down on top of the couch's backrest, before grabbing either side of your head with his hands. 

“You look absolutely beautiful.” he says leaning in for a kiss, slightly chuckling at how needy you responded to it. His lips go from being softly placed on yours before he deepens the kiss, small gasps coming out of both of you. The kiss lasts for a while, his sunglasses now discarded on the couch, his hands running against your thighs, only getting higher. After breaking for air, his glazed eyes makes you aware exactly what hes thinking of. 

“I made dinner…” you say looking up at him, and as he pulls a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I think dinner can wait, yeah?” 

“Yeah…”

A/N: YOU MADE IT!!! pat yourself on the back!!!! SOOOOO.... what did we think??? My first request so it might be different from when I gain inspiration from a song that I drill into my head from obsession!!! As always let me know if you loved it, hate it, dreamed it before and you're experiencing some weird dejavu.... would love to hear about that... Thank you for reading!! and Ill see you guys later :3

ps. if you're still reading, doubt you are, but I will be starting classes soon so I might be a lil slow, but considering this has become my new hyperfixation, I don't think ill be gone for too long in between fics >.<

[the-lavender-clown]

MORE COWBOY AU STUFF BECAUSE I’M OBSESSED!!! The au I’ve made with some friends is called Fool’s Gold! I may or may not write some fics for it 👀

Here’s an infodump on it if anyone is interested!!

Raph is tired sheriff who sighs at every newspaper & new wanted poster showing off his blue and purple brothers as well as Donnie’s partner in crime but a he can’t help but be a little proud because he knows their doing good, just in their own special & questionable way.

Mikey is a nomad that travels around & sells self-woven clothes and blankets as well as hand carved & painted trinkets or whatever else he’s made. He treats weary travelers to home cooked meals & tales & legends of four brothers! He’s also the only brother not *constantly* making trouble for Raph.

Leo is a lone hero. Going town to town & over throwing whatever greedy mayor/banker/outlaw has that town in its clutches. He’s able to masterfully manipulate whoever he’s dealing with & using his many resources to gather important information. He ties them up to a post for the sheriff’s convenience when he comes by the town to pick them up.

Donnie & Cass are bounty hunters/mercenaries. They used to chase each other for their bounties & because Cass was a part of the Foot before the brothers took them down & Donnie just so happens to often be the closest to her trail once she popped up again. After awhile of constantly failing to catch each other they started thinking of each other as *their* targets & everyone knew better than to try and catch the other. A fun little song & dance/game of cat & mouse if you will. Eventually they ended up having to run from the same person together & realized that they honestly make a good team & have stuck together ever since!

Shelldon is adopted by Donnie before he & Cass teamed up. He was told by the Purple Dragons to get close to Donnie so they could catch him in exchange for enough money to set him for life, money they had no intention on giving him. He did get close to Donnie but in the end didn’t want to betray him but the Dragons had accounted for that & set off an explosion in a mining tunnel to get rid of them both. Donnie ended up being able to get Shelldon a little clear of the crumbling tunnel before he was trapped under the rumble. Shelldon doesn’t want to leave him but eventually does & immediately goes to try to find help, coming across Leo who had found Donnie’s spooked horse & was trying to find out what trouble Donnie had gotten himself into since his horse never leaves unless something really bad happened. Donnie ends up losing a leg cuz is it truly an F!Donnie if he doesn’t?

Casey is adopted after Donnie & Cass team up. They were in town for some groceries when Raph told them about this kid in some not so great circumstances & said it’d be a shame if someone were to beat up his guardians & kidn@p him while he was busy with all this paperwork. Donnie & Cass were gone before he finished. They weren’t gonna pass up an opportunity where they had permission to do a crime after all!

The main difference between Leo & Donnie’s work is that Donnie always cashes in the bad guys for money & can be hired for jobs as well as uses semi lethal methods while Leo mainly does it for fun & justice (& to mess with Raph) & takes like a free drink as payment before moving on. Leo will leave notes on the bad guys for Raph for when he comes to pick them up.

“The Bread Winners” is the name of Donnie, Casey, Shelldon, & Junior’s gang because Casey’s brownie scouts & my Donnie baker hc. It also shows that they’re in it for the money & fits with how the go undercover as a family often. Plus it sounds innocent enough to disguise how insane they really are.

That is it for now!! Hope some of y’all like it!!

Here’s the drawing without the text in the middle

[shadowsrulemymind]

Its been roughly two years since Trigun Stampede ended and I think I figured out the whole "Nai" vs "Kni" spelling thing;

Throughout all 12 eps his name is spelled "Nai" in the subtitles but "Kni" in the computer system and I don't think either spelling is a mistake.

TRIMAX SPOILERS!!

The main thing that confused me about the name thing was that the data entries existed AT ALL, Rem made it very clear that she wanted to hide the fact that Vash and Knives were plants so why on earth would she input them in the system LABELED as plants??

Because she didn't.

If Rem didn't make those data entries then who did? It sure would be really convenient if there was another person that we know ended up waking up and meeting the twins while they were still on the ships huh?

Oh WAIT!

While we haven't gotten the scene of Conrad meeting the twins in Stampede we know for a FACT he did because when Knives finds him after the fall he calls him by NAME and acts relieved to see him even going so far as to run to him like he was going to give Knives a hug;

I think Conrad was the one to input the twins into the Project Type-T data base and that Rem never even knew he did this.

'but why would Conrad do that?'

Because Conrad wanted to study them and never actually saw them as more then new test subjects.

The thing is that I don't think Conrad actually feels remorse for what he did to Tesla. He doesn't regret killing her because she was a child who was sentient and felt pain-

He regrets killing his most valuable science project.

Right now we only have one photo of Tesla when she was still alive and she was clearly around the same age of the twins when she finally died from the abuse she suffered.

Tesla looks so empty while Conrad looks content, happy and proud.

Conrad never felt an ounce of doubt about what he was doing to Tesla when she was alive, it was only after the abuse was too much and her body failed did he suddenly start feeling regret.

He killed his test subject before he was done with it and that's what he really regretted.

So when he met the twins he realized he had two more chances to get to study an independent and made their data entries;

The reason why it's spelled "Kni" is because Conrad was trying to spell a name he'd only ever heard, he couldn't just ask Rem how to spell it so he based the spelling on what he thought Rem named him after; his KNIVES. Conrad thought it was supposed to be a shortened version of knives and thus wrote is as Kni.

But it ISN'T.

His name actually IS spelled Nai.

If you look up the name Kni pretty much nothing comes up, Nai however-

The first culture I found Nai attached to was African; In Swahili it means 'purpose' or 'aim' while in Nigerian Igbo it means 'mother' or 'motherhood' which fits Knives perfectly.

But I wanted to check to see if Nai had a Japanese meaning and the closest I found was Chinese origins that's commonly used for girls with Japanese roots;

The name Nai is made up of two elements, Na and I. Na has multiple meanings such as green, vegetables, many, and APPLE TREE-

NAI BASICALLY MEANS APPLE TREE

HIS NAME MEANS APPLE TREE

Honestly I would have been content considering this a crack theory based on a spelling error but knowing that Nai is a name that actually has a meaning that can be considered FORESHADOWING???

There's literally no way this was an accident.

I also think the person who did the subtitles was told how to write their names because I can't find Elendira being a previously existing name outside of Trigun and I'd assume they'd need to be told how to spell the names but I can't find proof of that so-

If you got this far thank you so much for reading because I figured this out like a couple of months ago and have been freaking out over it ever since.

Sources:

https://www.momjunction.com/baby-names/nai/

https://namediscoveries.com/names/nai

[moonacrefarm]

anticipating love

summary: your parents marriage didn’t survive the test of time and neither did you first love. 

contains: childhood friends to lovers to strangers, second-chance romance, angst, hurt/comfort, slight miscommunication, fluff, 18+ series, mentions of stalking, mentions of cancer, no mention of y/n

authors note: woooohoooo! i didn't expect this chap to take so long. i ended up with a few health issues (all cleared now) which put a dent in my writing schedule as i rested up and got better. a little slow of a chap today but im excited as the foundation has been set for the next few chaps ◡̈

series masterlist

previous part | next part.

03. fated ones

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“No. Mom. You didn’t.”

“I did and you're going to set the table.”

“Why would you invite Bradley over?”

“Why?”

“Yes. Why?”

Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. You could tell her temper was on the rise, you’d been arguing about inviting Bradley over for all morning and she’d seemed to have had enough.

“I’m dying sweetheart. I’m not dying with regrets.” She hissed out the last part. “He’s coming over and you aren’t gonna say another word about it.”

“But—”

Her finger shot up, “If I hear one more word. One. I’m shipping you to base with your father. This has nothing to do with whatever you guys fell out over. I invited him over because I wanted to have dinner with the boy I so much as raised when Carole died. I do not care if you think I should be angry with him, I’m dying and I’m…” She pointed at herself, “Making amends. If you don’t want to be here, take a drive, sleep on base, and pull your teeth out. I’ve had you yammering in my ear all morning about canceling dinner. This is the one thing I’m asking you to do for me, and you’re throwing a fit. Zip it or ship it.”

Your lips pressed in a line thin. You **had been making this about you. The past few days have been difficult for you to process. The revelation that Bradley hadn’t just up and left you for no reason was heavy in your limbs. It didn’t align with what River had told you and with what you knew.

But, something was off.

It’s not that you didn’t believe what Bradley had told you. There were many ways to explain it all away but something kept gnawing you. River always talked about “divine timing.” What if it's all meant to be, “divine timing” will take care of it. Your guy's relationship had been built out of convenience. You both were young, in school together and looked good together. You both kind of… settled. He fit so well into your life that it had to be divine timing. How else could you explain it?

When your mother was diagnosed, River was good. He was so good to you and her, taking time off, driving her to appointments, and sure your mom was never his biggest fan but she respected him enough and his ability to make you comfortable. You can still pinpoint when he changed and became colder and distant. Every time he talked to you it was flitted with something aggressive.

Initially, you thought it had been neglect. You weren’t spending enough time with him, or maybe it was an effort. Either way, when the switch flipped it felt like whiplash. The night you called it off it was a blow-up fight. He threw vases, photos, plates, and whatever he could find. He kept murmuring about you not being in love with him and choosing your mother over him. Nothing could placate him and soon enough you tore the ring off your finger and hurled it at him, grabbed your keys, and ran to your car.

He tried to follow you but you lost him on the freeway and called your mother. It felt like all those years were a lie, he’d never lost his temper in that manner. Had never gotten aggressive or screamed at you. The whole argument unsettled you. It confirmed the gnawing feeling that ate away at you for years. Every once in a while his smile would become rigid, his grip on your wrist slightly tighter. Always small and light movements to command you to his well.

Once the phone call ended, you immediately went to pick her up, opting to stay at a hotel for a couple of days. He kept calling, texting, calling, and spamming through unknown numbers and accounts. All it did was confirm that… feeling that always sat at the back of your mind. The breakup wasn’t amicable in the slightest. You had police escort you to your shared apartment to pack your belongings and he, luckily, wasn’t there. Within hours, your life was packed up and you moved back in with your mother. However, you never shook the feeling that he was orbiting around you. Even if you never saw him, it followed you everywhere you went.

Silently, you grabbed plates and started to set the table.

“Thank you.” Your mother sighed. You mulled over anything and everything, still stuck on the photos. You and River didn’t even take engagement photos, just a small get-together with your mother and his family.

“Mom?” You called out gently, setting another placemat down.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Did you ever think something was wrong with River?”

She stood still for a few seconds.

“Like that something was off with him?”

“To be honest hon, I thought he was boring…”

The confession startled you, causing a giggle to bubble out of you.

“I did! Towards the end, I thought something was wrong with him. There were a few moments when he would seem…off. I never thought he was so off that he would've lost it like that when you two ended it.”

You nodded

“He was boring.”

When the knock on the door arrived, your mother shot off her chair. Your father stayed stiff and you followed suit.

“Oh, you've grown so tall.” She held his face between her hands for a moment, “Handsome, just like your father.” Bradley smiled wide, embracing her again, “It’s good to see you too.”

Bradley took in her scent as he hugged her, feeling how much more frail she had been than the last time he saw her. The guilt gripped his heart.

“Now come on, I made some of Carole's lasagna and set the table.”

Toeing off his shoes he made his way into the home, still familiar with the path to the dining table.

“Sir.” His back straightened, Beau sighed, “At ease Bradshaw, you're in my home not on base, formalities don’t exist here”

“Damn straight they don’t.” Your mother's cheerful voice cut in, earning a small smile from your father.

“Bradley.” You nodded.

He gave a small smile, one so tense you thought he might pull a cheek.

“Dear, could you go get the drinks? I left them in the kitchen.” Pulling yourself up, you heard your mother’s bombardment of questions. She didn’t hold back asking Bradley about the last decade of his life, they did have a lot to catch up after all.

By the time you made it back to the table, your mother was asking the hard-hitting questions,

“So, are you dating anyone? Engaged perhaps?” Bradley choked slightly on his drink.

“Uh.. no ma’am. No engagement and no girlfriend.”

Your mom frowned, “I was hoping for some grandbabies and now I'm hearing I probably won’t have any at all!” Her arms went up in the air. Your dad and you eyed each other, knowing she was putting on a show. Snuffing your snickers you silently chewed. Unfortunately for Bradley, your mom wasn’t quite done.

“Honey, you’re gonna be a spinster by the time your good years are up! You're young and healthy! This is the time to make a couple babies.”

Bradley burned red and none of you could hold back your laughter.

“Okay Mom, give Bradley a breather, anymore baby talk and I think he’ll start babbling like one…It did take him a while to grow out of baby talk.” You snickered and he softly glared at you, “Bringing up my dark past I see.”

Your mother and father gave each other a soft smile.

Dinner wore on and your mother's efforts had paid off, everyone had relaxed and spread out to the living room for some photo album viewing.

She was entrenched in showing the photos of you and Bradley on a family trip to the Sequoias. Climbing trees and chasing each other with fake snakes.

“Carole thought you two were the cutest thing, wherever you went, Bradley was sure to follow. He was terrified of the fake snakes and you grabbed four in the gift shop and started chasing him.”

“Okay, you’re making it sound like I was a little menace.”

“I’d have to agree that you were. I never quite got over my fear of snakes…” Bradley smirked, earning him a small shove from you.

Your mother yawned, flipping through a couple more photos before another yawn followed.

“I think it’s time someone got to bed.” Beau had wrapped around the couch and put a blanket on your mother's shoulders.

“It is a little late, I should be heading back to base.”

“That you should, we have early morning training tomorrow.”

“Honey, can you walk Bradley out to his car? I suddenly feel exhausted.” You nodded, standing and motioning for Bradley to follow.

He got his shoes on and embraced your mother once more before leaving, “Now you come back and visit me, you hear me? I want to see your face as much as possible little Goose.” All he could do was nod, “I will. So much that you’ll be sick of me.” He smiled at her once more, watching as your father walked her up the stairs.

The breeze was welcomed as you stepped out. It had been getting warm inside, your cheeks slightly flush from all the laughing.

“Quite a trip down memory lane huh?” He asked, giving you a small side glance.

“I completely forgot how scared of fake snakes you were.”

“I wonder why…” You shoved him again.

You both approached his car, standing awkwardly for a few moments.

“I didn’t realize how…” He cleared his throat. “How sick she was?”

He nodded grimly.

“Yeah.”

You swallowed hard.

“She’s been fighting really hard.”

You both went quiet again.

You started at the paint on the Bronco, a small dent at the base of the driver's side, from where you and Bradley had been playing a game of baseball gone wrong. A little smile grew on your face.

“You should come by more often.” You looked at him, “I know we don’t… don’t get along like we used to. But we aren’t sure how chemo is gonna treat her this time…She really missed you.”

Bradley’s eyes stung. He’d seen his mother go through this, and seeing your mother today had brought painful memories to the surface again. He let out a shaky breath, “I will. I’ll come by as often as I can. With training, I’m not sure…I can work something out.” You nodded once more, “Drive safe Bradley.”

“Goodnight Bugs.”

You watched him drive off. Standing outside for a minute, letting the air cool you before your father came to the door, “You coming in?”

“Yeah. I just needed some air.”

[miowyaa]

One chair a day, keeps the doctor away; Various BLLK x gn!reader

A/N: Thank you @gothforgod for this request, this had me giggling so hard while I was writing this that I genuinely mightve looked insane. I'm sorry if I made the reader a little too freaky. I had no idea what I was doing. Shidou 2.0 I fear. ALSO, THIS CAN BE READ AS PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC? Again, im so sorry but I find it hard to fit so many love interests into such a oneshot but I tried my best. A majority of it is just joking.. Anyways, I hope youll enjoy reading it!! :)

Cw: reader gets hit by a chair and is knocked out for a few minutes, they’re a little disoriented for a bit but that's the extent of any injuries (?)

It's times like this when you’re really contemplating your life decisions. Namely the one you’re facing right now, nutrients…or that shiny new skin that just released? You debate calling your parents for some extra allowance, but then the memory of you stating your independence so passionately sits you down, because as much as you want that cool skin, you decide that your dignity is worth more.

It was a few months ago when your father broke the news that he had gotten a better job opportunity in another city that would require you guys to move to what was basically the other side of the country. As ever the dramatic person, you fell to your knees and started begging them to let you stay here.

Not only were you dramatic, you were also incredibly annoying because your nagging eventually worked. So with the promise of you being the most responsible person ever and to keep the house as clean as possible, you were allowed to stay.

Well, as it turns out, you may not be the most dutiful person to have ever been born but surely it's okay. It's just time to get a job, like any other normal person would. With this new plan in mind, you are filled with a new determination and swing open your laptop and start looking for any job listings that you could apply for. Unfortunately, it seems that it was all for nothing as you either dont meet the requirements, or.. Well, that's honestly really the only reason. Your eyes nearly jump out of their sockets when you scroll through convenience job positions that require three million years of experience? No thanks.

It's been two hours of straight searching and you're nearly about to just suck it up and plead with your lovely parents for some extra money when a job listing pops out. It has no requirements that you can't fufill and the pay is not tht bad! Well, it does require you to be a pretty good cook but not to brag, youve cracked an egg or two into your instant noodles. You’re pretty sure you got this in the bag.

It was a little frightening how quickly they had accepted your application, were there no applications to be asked or did they need a new cook that bad? You couldnt complain and you were to start the following week, huzzah! There were some catches though, you were to live on site for some reason. You opened up the location the facility was at on maps and it was practically in the middle of nowhere. Simple problem with a simple solution, you dont have a car so you figured youd just call up a taxi- okay that's one down. What would you need to bring? Clothes maybe, would they allow you to return home every one and a while to do laundry or would you do it there? The contract they sent you was so vague..

You did what you could over the one week and once that was up, you called up a taxi and headed towards the facility. It was high in the mountains and honestly, you started thinking about the likelihood that you would get murdered. 

After paying the fare, you walked into the weirdly shaped facility with your luggage in tow, prepared to meet whatever freak was about to employ you. With no freak employer in sight to greet you, you let your curiosity get the best of you and let yourself start wandering. The whole building is built like some sort of maze, all its walls looking identical to each other. By this point, youre unable to piece together where you are anymore because youre convinced youve walked into a hundred different rooms with the same doors. That is, until you walk into what looks like a cafeteria! 

This is promising- you think. You're here as a cook so your job will probably be somewhere around here. You look around the huge room and note two things, one: it's very clean, every flat surface you can see is sparkling, and two: there's a chair flying towards you.

You wake up and the world around you is hazy, you can make out one figure in your peripheral vision and you grab onto it as hard as you can. It reacts with an ‘eek!” and you feel your upper body slumping to the ground. Apparently, they were trying to lift you up. Did they think you were dead? Maybe, and this was this horrible plan of trying to discard your body. You look infront of you to see another figure and with all the strength your disoriented state can muster, you slam your foot onto their face. 

It lets out a surprised yelp and backs away from you, now, you're laying on the ground trying to comprehend what has just happened. Is this the afterlife? No, because you just beat two people up and one of them is still in your grip. You notice that you're holding someone's hair, and immediately sober up. “Oh my-” you sit up, freeing the poor guy in the process.

“-Gosh.” the two look at you as if you’re some sort of animal, and you can't blame them. You dont doubt that the chair that hit you has left some sort of effect on your appearance. Just as you’re about to apologize, one of them has beat you too it. His highlights falling over his shoulder as he quickly bows, the other one follows suit.

“We’re so sorry!” One of them cries out, he has dark blue hair and you notice that his eyes are squeezed shut, too scared to meet your gaze. For lack of better words, you're speechless. Speechless that is until the greatest idea ever pops into that head of yours.

“Ladies, ladies. Calm down, there's enough of me to go around,” you pick yourself up looking all smug. You catch their faces of surprise as you dust yourself off and turn your heads towards the chair. “I guess the chair couldnt help it, all things naturally gravitate me because of my..beauty..” Well, you’re pretty sure that they just think they messed up your head, judging from their expressions. You shouldnt have said that, now it's just awkward. 

The blue-haired one tries to speak, but he's obviously hesitant to do so. A horrible silence engulfs the three of you as all just stare at each other, painfully waiting for the next interaction. “Do..do you play soccer?” He finally says.

How do you explain that you dont have an athletic bone in your body? Just the presence of any ball is guaranteed to make you sweat, but from what little research you did of the facility, you do not fit in at all. “No,” you state flatly, the room returns to a state of excruciating silence.

The one with what can only be described as a layered bob-cut with highlights claps his hands together, “then we’ll teach you!” You’re pretty sure you’re not supposed to be fraternizing with the players, but your employer still hasnt showed their face yet and you honestly couldnt give less than a fart. You shrug and he lights up, taking you by the arm and dragging you off to who knows where, the other one following close behind.

You’re zoned out for the most part, but you do catch the bob-cut guy saying some random things such as, “my monster this..my monster that..” It's a little concerning, should he be on some medications or did this place think that his ‘monster’ was beneficial to him? Well, you dont know and you really dont feel like finding out. Just as you’re going down the bob-cut monster rabbit hole, the three of you make it to a brightly lit room with artificial grass. It seems that you arent alone, as aside from the three of you, there's also some other people kicking around some balls. So athletic. You’re intimidated.

“Bachira, dont you think..” the quieter of the duo tries saying before ‘Bachira’ runs off to go grab a ball. It's now just the two of you, and impulsively, you say it outloud. “Heh..It's just you and me now..” you slowly turn to him, you're obviously trying to crack a joke but the guy's face heats up so quickly you’re afraid he's having a heat stroke or something.

Both of you have no idea what to say and it isnt until Bachira returns that there's finally a conversation. He brought along a few other people, three to be exact. What might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on, and this purple-haired guy who's so graciously carrying someone asleep. You’re unsure of how the purple-haired dude or the person hes carrying are going to help you play soccer, but you’ve been unsure about practically everything since you got here, so maybe you’ll just trust them on this.

It's not that you’re really that eager to learn, but apparently Bachira thinks so and you’re slightly afraid of what his ‘monster’ will do to you if you run away now. So for now, all you can do is smile and nod. The gorgeous man introduces himself as Chigiri, and the blue-haired one realizes he's yet to introduce himself and tells you that his name is Isagi. The purple-haired one introduces himself as Reo and the one asleep and Nagi. Wow, are you in middle school icebreakers again? You dont even realize for a few secondsd that everyone is waiting for you to introduce yourself.

“Oh, yeah. Hi, im [name].” You’re half expecting them to ask you to share a fact about yourself to the class but luckily it doesnt come to that. As if everyone forgot what they were there for, they slip into conversation instead of teaching you soccer and you’re relieved, you slickly open up your phone to do your daily logins when you notice a new voice talking to you.

Should you burst out into tears? Or challenge him to a 1v1 to reclaim your honor? You turn slowly to face the now awake Nagi whose still being carried and has noticeably left a small puddle of drool on Reos shoulder. “You suck at that game,” he repeats. Gasps heard around the room, not really, but basically.

“Excuse me?” You gasp, placing a hand over your heart to show that you took much offense to what he said. Hes so cool and nonchalant that he has the same expression as he did when he said such rude words to you: nothing. His face is literally devoid of any emotion except maybe for boredom and you feel the need to pummel him to the floor.

“Ill have you know, that I'm top 300 in arena, not only that-” he cuts you off. So rude. “Top 20.”

Oh, okay. So he's just a video game nerd, this isnt your fault you're just outmatched because he spends all his time on the game. You feel better now! Atleast you dont rot in this game all day like him. “We have a professional over here..” you lean towards the one closest to you, which so happens to be Chigiri. He looks at you weirdly and you can't tell if it's out of concern or if he's just judging you. Now with the judgement of your five minute crush, you now turn to one of Bachiras methods. You clap and you make sure its really loud. Then, out of embarrassment, you shout, “so, soccer!” 

Bachira lights up, did he seriously forget? You really dont know, but either way, you send another glare towards Nagi before turning towards the speaker. “Oh, yea! Totally slipped my mind. Okay..So this-” so he did forget, but no biggie because he gets cut off by a huge monitor hung up on the wall.

“There you are. Come to my office, now.” It's clear he's talking to you, and you take this chance to leave because, no, you really do not feel like learning how to play soccer, sorry Bachira. Despite the fact that you have no idea where the office is, you walk backwards out the door. What's that saying again? Saved by the bell, except you were saved by a huge TV by a man with a bowl-cut. Lots of peculiar hairstyles here.

You thank whatever force is out there for helping you avoid this predicament and then run off with crossed fingers that the next room you enter, will be the office.

© miowyaa | please do not steal, repost, or translate any of my work.

[ilminnestrone]

Dear person who is publicly depicting me as aggressive and vindictive,

I hadn’t planned to dignify lies with outrage, but given the rumors you’ve spread — and the damage they’ve caused — I think it’s necessary. I wrote this on my train ride after my 10.30-19.30 shift and I'm polishing it over breakfast. I'll schedule it to go up when you're awake in your timezone. I'll be at work —again.

A dear friend suggested that I rewrite this post to match more the stereotype of the perfect victim (which I am), in order not to allow you to twist my words and make me appear as an unreasonable monster. I love them so much. They're so smart and wise, and probably right: I know you might use the tone of this post against me. It’s the tone of someone angry, hurt, and exhausted — someone for whom English is a second language, and who prefers clear, assertive communication over sweet, palatable half-truths. I know I don’t have the soft and quirky flavour of autism that invites compassion or pity. But maybe that makes my honesty easier to see. If nothing else, I hope it proves I’ve always been straightforward.

In my day-to-day life, I’m often perceived as an asshole — but at least a rational, honest one. I won’t pretend to be anything else just to earn sympathy I haven’t faked. That’s not who I am, and I won’t start now.

You’ve told others that I’m the one holding a grudge. I find that ironic, considering you’ve publicly accused me, without evidence, of sending you anonymous messages — and then treated that assumption as fact. Because of you, people have blocked or unfollowed me, and a group chat I was part of was shut down with no explanation, I got anon hate myself. All this, while I was at work for nearly ten hours, juggling my full-time job, university studies, and family responsibilities.

Let’s talk plainly. You’ve accused me of harboring resentment, but I haven’t said a word to you since January — when others pointed out that your vague posts about “toxic behavior” in fandom events read like thinly veiled jabs at me. I knew who you were talking about (a well known bully we both have blocked months ago), you apologised, and I accepted it. You never apologised to the other person involved, but whatever: I didn’t push, didn’t gossip, didn’t retaliate. I told a person we both know what happened and how it hurt me, because I thought they were a friend and that I could speak without having my words reported and twisted to feed resentment — which they did. That is not what holding a grudge looks like.

What does look like a grudge to me is choosing to revive tension months later (during said event nonetheless) by blaming me for someone else’s anonymous criticisms. You’ve taken one harsh post I made — which wasn’t even about you, and about an opinion I always had and I always will — and used it to frame me as hostile (aggressive, even), conveniently ignoring the way you once defended and vouched for a known bully, misrepresented their intentions, and minimized the harm they caused others. I was generous with you then. I assumed you were misinformed. Now I see a pattern: one where you stir conflict, rewrite history and then claim to be the victim when people respond. And then, you point the finger towards the perfect culprit.

I’m not writing for reconciliation. I’m not asking you to fix what you’ve broken — frankly, I don’t believe you will. You and your followers decided to believe a version of reality that fits your online persona and I respect that. I’m writing to set the record straight, to affirm that I know exactly what you’ve done, and to make it clear I will not tolerate further slander or behind-the-scenes manipulation.

As you can see, I don't need to hide behind anon asks: I'm perfectly able to communicate openly and honestly without hiding behind smokescreens and whispers. I always texted you when your behaviour bothered me in any way and I'm doing it again. For the last time. I have screenshots of every conversation we had to prove how aggressive I am, where I even say sorry for sounding too harsh, where I reassure you I'm not angry at you, where I tell you I have issues in real life: you really don't know what real aggressiveness sounds like.

I'm perfectly fine with being the villain in your story, if you need one (we came close because we both love bad guys, didn't we?). But unlike my favourite bad boy, I don't have copies that can unfold my evil plans while I'm at work… honestly? I would send them to work instead and I would attend to the fun part myself.

P.S. If you’re really scared of me, relax. I don’t have minions, a secret agenda, or the time to orchestrate anonymous attacks — I barely have the time to pet my dog when I get home in the evening. Real villains operate in the dark. I’ve always been upfront with you. Maybe that’s why I’m such a lousy villain.

What could I do anyway? Spreading lies about you and telling people to unfollow and block you? Not really my style, sorry.

On a more personal note: having a special interest again, as an autistic person, has been a vital part of my recovery from a mental illness that nearly killed me. Final Fantasy VII was my first hyperfixation after years of bullying left me too afraid to love anything out loud. I won’t forgive anyone for trying to isolate me from something that, quite literally, saved my life. You don’t get to take that from me — not through whispers, not through guilt, and not through social games. This is real violence, not being able to communicate oneself boundaries in a clear and assertive way.