#did i proof read or edit this?

[sincerelybubbles]

it's a date || spencer reid x reader

part 2

warnings: cannon-typical violence/mentions of murder and kidnapping, slow burn, fluff!, early seasons spencer, not proof read

word count: 6.1k

You sigh and crack your knuckles, staring down at the pot simmering on the stove. You know that the sauce would be okay if you left it for a few minutes, did something else, but you remain standing, uselessly stirring it every few seconds. Truthfully, you’re bored. Your mind shifts from cooking to work tomorrow, itching to pull out your documents and scan through them one more time. But you know you shouldn’t, advise about work-life balance tugging at your attention. 

You’re debating if you should pick up a book and try to read, something light to take your mind off of the day, when a knock sounds from the front door. Your dog, Penny, a lovely golden retriever you rescued a few years ago, lets out a weak woof before slowly standing and trotting to the door. She’s old, more grey than golden, but she never fails to answer the door with you. 

You turn the stove off and move the pot off of the burner, wiping your hands as you walk, when another knock echoes through the hallway. It’s sharp, official, loud. The sound fills you with anxiety. You stand on your toes to look out of the peephole.

“Hello?” You ask through the door, not recognizing the men standing outside and seeing no package in sight. 

“Hello, Jason Gideon, FBI, could we have a word?” The older man says, voice stern but not unkind. 

You open the door without unlatching the chain, peering out through the crack. “FBI?”

Jason Gideon, the one who spoke, pulls out his badge first. The lankier man next to him follows in suit. Your eyes linger on him for a second longer than the other agent, taking in his toussled brown hair. You scan the badges for a second before shutting the door to undo the chain. 

“Sorry, you can’t be too careful, you know?”

“Oh, we know that all too well,” Gideon says good-naturedly, “it’s good to be cautious.”

He asks your name, you give it, and nods sharply, looking to his partner. “Well, like I said, I’m Jason Gideon with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, FBI, and this is my partner Doctor Spencer Reid.”

“Well, come on in, Agent Gideon and Dr. Reid,” you say, waving them both in and shutting the door. 

“Just Gideon is fine.”

Dr. Reid sends you a tight lipped smile as he walks in, adjusting his shirt and otherwise avoiding your gaze. He seems nervous. 

“Would you two like something to drink while you tell me why you’re here? Coffee, tea, water?” You ask, twisting the dishcloth between your hands as you lead them inside.

“I wouldn’t say no to some coffee,” Gideon says. You nod and turn to Dr. Reid, who is staring at you with his mouth slightly agape. 

“Oh, yeah, coffee for me too, please.”

“Of course, have a seat,” you say, waving them to the small table in your kitchen and moving to prepare their drinks. Neither of them sit.

“How well do you know your neighbors?” Gideon asks as you start the coffee. 

You shrug. “As well as anyone does these days, I guess. I wave when I drive past them, smile when they’re out front at the same time. Why, has something happened? I saw the police cars earlier, on my way home from work, but I haven’t heard anything else.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dr. Reid says, even though he looks your age, maybe even a few years older. “Your neighbor across the street was murdered last night, Mrs. Furgison, and her eight-year-old son is missing. Did you hear anything?”

You fall still, facing away from the two officers. Numb, you shake your head, “No, I didn’t. I wasn’t home last night. I was watching my niece for my sister.” You turn around to face them, leaning back against the counter. “But there are cameras outside, I’m assuming that’s why you’re here?” “Yes,” Gideon confirms with a nod. “Would you be okay if we took a look at the last few weeks of footage if you have it?”

“You want to see if he’s been visiting before last night,” you mumble, nodding. “Yes, of course.”

“Do you work in law enforcement?” Dr. Reid asks, the question erupting from him like he couldn’t hold it back. “You’re shockingly calm and seem to know what we’re going to ask before we get to it.”

“Oh, yeah,” you chuckle, waving a hand in the air and turning to pull the pot of coffee out. “BAU, of course, you’d see right through me. I’m a victim liaison. I read through this process hundreds of times a week. Sugar?”

“No, thanks,” Gideon answers as Dr. Reid blurts out, “Yes, please.”

You set the mugs on the kitchen counter along with a container of sugar.

“Help yourself, I’ll grab my laptop to get those files for you.”

When you come back, laptop in tow, Gideon and Dr. Reid are having a hushed conversation, both holding their mugs of coffee. You round the corner slowly but loudly, aware that sometimes agents can be jumpy. Gideon smiles at you while Dr. Reid looks over sharply. 

It fits, given their ages and presumably how long each have been in the field. You try to send him a reassuring smile. He reciprocates but still looks obviously awkward, fixing his hair and taking a sip of coffee.

“Would you like me to put the files on a USB? Email them somewhere? Or just,” you motion with the computer, offering it over. 

“I can take it,” Dr. Reid offers, “send the files to Garcia.”

You let him, passing him the computer easily. With your job, the government is already elbows deep in that laptop, anyway; you have nothing to hide. 

You watch as Dr. Reid begins typing away on your computer, leaning over the table and resting his forearms on the edge. 

Both of the agents are dressed professionally: button-down shirts, slacks, dress shoes. Guns ready at the hip.

“You like to cook?” Gideon asks, nodding toward your forgotten pasta on the stove. 

“Yes and no,” you admit, chuckling and turning your attention to him. “It always tastes better than takeout but it’s hard to get the motivation. Are you hungry? Can I offer you anything else?”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary, but thank you.”

“Of course. I know how overworked you lot can be.” You cross your arms and lean back against your counter. “What about you? Do you cook?”

“Not as often as I should,” he admits, smiling sadly. “Victim liaison, you said?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You seem a little young.” “Could say the same about him.” You nod at Dr. Reid who doesn’t hear you, too focused on his work. “But I guess drive and pretty much no social life can get you anywhere,” you admit with a laugh. 

“Garcia should have the files in a minute,” Dr. Reid interrupts, looking up from your laptop.

“I’ll give her a call.”

He steps out with a nod to you, walking back into the front hallway of your small home and leaving you alone with the doctor. 

He opens his mouth to say something before his eyes focus over your shoulder and his attention is stolen. “Sorry,” he says, moving past you and into your living room, toward your bookshelf. “Is that a Russian copy of Crime and Punishment?” He asks, brushing his finger over the spine of the book. 

“Oh, yeah, it is.” You follow him, staring up at your own bookshelf like you’ve never seen it before. It’s crammed full of books. There are more filling your bedroom down the hall as well. “It’s a slow read, I have to use a lexicon a lot of the time, but I sort of like the work. Translating’s a hobby of mine, I guess. When I have time. Sorry, that might be weird.”

“No, it’s not weird at all! Not to me, at least. Are you using a Dictionary-based lexicon? Can I see it? I have one that I love. I haven’t read much Russian but I have one for Greek. They’re rarely used anymore, falling out of popularity with the creation of the internet where everything is readily available to just search up, but I find them fascinating and I’ve never seen one for Russian before.”

He talks enthusiastically with his hands. His eyes shine, the interest lighting up his face. You think, before you remember the reason why he’s there, that he’s actually quite handsome. You become slightly breathless at the realization. You don’t really notice people like this often. But, towering above you, buttoned shirt pushed up to show his forearms and a self-concious smile stretching across his face, you’re a little flustered.

You take a breath, remembering that your neighbor is dead and a little boy is missing, sending Dr. Reid a small smile and motioning behind you.

“It’s in my office if you want to go look at it. I prefer it to just typing out the stuff I don’t know — mostly because I don’t have a Russian keyboard — and it’s easier to learn when you have to research it.”

“I would actually love –”

“Reid,” Gideon interrupts, ending his call, “Garcia got the files, we have to go.”

“Oh, yes, of course.”

“Thank you so much for your help,” Gideon says, walking toward you and offering his hand. “And for the coffee. So sorry to have interrupted your cooking.”

“Anytime detective,” you say, shaking his hand and smiling up at him, “always happy to help. I can give you my card if you need anything else?”

“That would be great, thank you.”

You rush to your bag to pull out one of your cards and hand it to Gideon before turning to offer Dr. Reid your hand. 

“It was nice to meet you, too, Dr. Reid.”

He takes your hand firmly. “Spencer’s fine,” he says, stumbling over his words slightly but still smiling. “Thank you for your help.”

“Anytime,” you repeat, letting them out and returning to your sad pasta. 

Your mind wonders, not to the murder or kidnapping, but to Spencer Reid. Wide brown eyes, tousled hair pushed out of his face, a sweet smile. Smart, too. Way too smart. 

You’re not exactly experienced when it comes to dating, you hadn’t lied to Gideon when you said you don’t make time for a social life, dating included, but you do know that an interest in a too-smart profiler might spell bad news. 

Still, as you portion out your meal, you can’t help but think that you’re feeling awfully motivated to return to working on Crime and Punishment. You don’t lie to yourself about the origins of this sudden spark of motivation, but you do rationalize it. What’s the harm in a fleeting crush, then? Especially if it gives you the push to finally finish one of the many projects hanging on your ever-growing list?

You suppose you might see them arround the office if they’re working in this jurisdiction, but then he’ll be gone and it’ll fade away. In the meantime, you make yourself a plate of food and settle down in your living room with the book and lexicon.

||||

“Well, that certainly poses an interesting problem,” you hear Cheif Saunders say as you walk into the police department the next morning, arms full of files ready for sorting. 

You round the corner to escape this attention but aren’t fast enough and he calls you over by name. Cringing, you turn on your heel and are faced, once again, with Gideon and Spencer. With them are two more men and two girls, all intimidating and confident. 

All FBI, if you had to wager a bet. 

“Morning,” you say, nodding to Gideon and Spencer respectively. “Nice to see you two again.”

“You’ve met?” The tall man next to Gideon asks, pointing the question to Spencer. He grins, white teeth overtaking his dark, handsome face. He reaches his hand out to shake yours, “Morgan, nice to meet you.”

You introduce yourself, explain your position, and receive introductions from JJ, Elle, and Hotchner as well. 

“Where did you meet our friends?” Chief Saunders asks, folding his hands in front of him and setting an accusatory glare on you. “Still preening for a new job?”

“No sir,” you say, uncomfortable. The chief is often cold with you, refusing to acknowledge your knowledge or work. When he found that you were looking to transfer stations to the one a district over, he’d still thrown a fit, though. You guess he can’t ignore how well your numbers reflect on him as easily as he deflects your accomplishments to your face. 

“We stopped by to get access to her cameras, she lives across the street from the Furgison’s,” Gideon explains, watchful eyes glancing between you and the chief. 

“They proved to be surprisingly useful,” Spencer interrupts. “We now know the make, model, and color of the unsubs car as well as his general height. Garcia is still trying to make out plates, but we are able to confirm at least pieces of our profile with the information.”

“You live across the street?” The chief asks, still staring at you. You shift your weight, holding the files closer to your chest. 

“Yes, sir. In a duplex.”

“Then, fellas, I’ve found the solution to our problem. You’ll set up with our little liaison, then.”

“Sorry?” You ask, startled. 

“We have reason to believe that the unsub is returning to the crime scenes after the police have left the area and allowed the family to return. But, if we know our guy, and we think we do,” Elle says, begrudingly, “he’s smart. He’s going to notice if we’re camped out in a car. And, in a residential street, it’s much harder to hide in a building.”

“So, you’ll have the opportunity to make yourself useful,” Chief Saunders chuckles, laying a heavy hand on your shoulder and shaking you.

“Only if you’re comfortable,” Gideon adds, glancing at you with a patient expression. 

“Yes, it would be a complete invasion of your privacy, agents would be there twenty-four-seven monitoring. We would only stay in the front areas of the house, of course, but you needn’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. There are always other ways.” Agent Hotchner fixes you with a level look, voice sincere. 

“Oh, she’s comfortable, aren’t ya?” The chief says, shaking you again with a wide smile. 

“Yes, of course,” you say, nodding at the others. You mean it, you’ll do whatever you can to help out, you just wish you could’ve made the choice yourself.

“This way, you don’t have to worry about confidentiality, either. Little Miss has full access to ongoing investigations, she’ll be there for all of the briefings and such.”

You nod, discretely moving a step back so his hand falls from your shoulder. 

“Yes, I’m meant to be kept up to date with all ongoing, violent investigations where and if possible to act as a bridge between law enforcement and victims and families of victims. Especially those with children involved — I should have mentioned we would cross paths again last night, I just wasn’t thinking.”

“Yes, we’ve worked with our fair share of liaisons,” Gideon chuckles, looking over his shoulder at JJ who gives him a small smile. 

“Then it’s all set. You boys let me know when you have your profile ready.” Elle watches him walk off with a hard stare, obviously just as rubbed wrong by him as you are. 

“Lovely man, isn’t he?” You joke, trying to make the situation lighthearted. 

“We’ve interacted before. Our headquarters isn’t actually far from here, just a twenty-minute drive, we’re up in Quantico. He doesn’t get any better with time, though.” Agent Hotchner shakes his head, turning to grab a file off of the desk behind him. 

“Well, he always forgets to offer his office space to visitors so I usually keep mine available. It’s quieter and there’s a whiteboard, follow me.”

||||

Since you started renting the small duplex by yourself, you’ve never felt awkward in your own home. Now, though, you feel odd taking up your own space. 

The majority of the Quantico team is set up in your front room with laptops, cameras, and microphones. 

“We don’t know exactly how long he usually takes to come back to scenes, only that it typically happens within the week,” Elle explains to you apologetically. 

“No problem — comes with the job, no?” You say, smiling and trying to brush it off. Elle laughs gently, nose wrinkling as she shakes her head. 

“No, not really. I wouldn’t be thrilled if these boys set up shop in my house, you’re taking this with much more grace than I would.”

You shrug, crossing your arms and tilting your head from side to side. “I won’t act like it’s normal, it is pretty weird having you guys here, but if it helps you catch this guy, why would I say no? Better me than some random civilian.” You hesitate, scrunching up your nose, “Better now than waiting for him to kill someone else.”

“Much more compassionate than I am,” Elle jokes, shaking her head and walking away as Gideon calls her name. 

The main problem, you think, is that the duplex isn’t very big. The part of the team that’ll be staying with you — Spencer, Gideon, Elle, and Morgan — have all settled in. They won’t come and go, their car is firmly parked in your garage, and they’ll keep a low profile to prevent the unsub from noticing their presence. You’re meant to come and go as normal to keep suspicion low in case he’s cased the entire neighborhood. But, with only two bedrooms, a baths, and a small office, you’re feeling slightly cramped. Whenever you turn, you feel like you’re coming toe-to-toe with someone. It’s awkward, considering you’re very used to living alone. 

Still, you’re determined to be a good host, so you set to preparing lunch for everyone. They’d insisted that you didn’t need to, but you really don’t know what else to do. You’d been given the day to help them all settle in and provide assistance wherever possible, but there isn’t much to do other than wait. 

You’re pulling out the things for sandwiches when Spencer walks in. 

“Hey, do you have an extra ethernet cable? Garcia thinks that a direct line would be better,” he asks. 

“Maybe, you’re free to check in the office if you want. If you need, you can always pull the one from my desktop,” you say, shutting the fridge and trying to balance everything in your arms in one trip.

“What’re you doing?” Spencer asks, reaching forward to grab the ham and mayo from the top of your stack. 

“Making sandwiches!”

“You really don’t have to. We can have food ordered, it’s okay.”

“I wanna make myself useful, I feel weird just standing around watching you guys work,” you say, dumping the materials on the counter. “I hope you guys like ham or turkey, it’s all I have.”

“You are being useful, though. You’ve let us set up in your home, how much more useful can you be?”

“I could provide food as well,” you say, sending him a smile. “Ham or turkey?”

Spencer looks exasperated, setting the ham and mayo down and shaking his head. Nervously, he uses both of his hands to push his hair back. “Either. Either is fine, thank you.”

You start to prepare the sandwiches, Spencer watching and still looking like he wants to say something. 

“Hey, Reid, I found one, we’re all set,” Morgan says, rounding the corner and waving the white chord in the air. “Oh, what’re you making?” He asks, stepping closer and leaning over your shoulder. 

“Sandwiches. I was asking Spence if you guys like ham and turkey but he wasn’t being helpful.”

“Well, Spence can be like that,” Morgan says, throwing Spencer a smirk over his shoulder. “But we’d appreciate anything.” “I was trying to tell her,” Spencer interrupts, “that it’s entirely unnecessary for her to make us lunch. She’s already done enough for us letting us set up here. The effort is appreciated, of course, obviously, you just shouldn’t have to. Because we’re already intruding.” He trails off as Morgan sends him a look, raising his eyebrow. 

“Well, I, for one, appreciate the offer,” Morgan says, leaning on the counter and smiling down at you. You laugh at him. 

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it! I do,” he says, turning to you and holding one of his hands up in a placating way, “I just don’t think, it’s very kind of course, I just –”

You cut him off, taking pity, “He’s fucking with you. Relax.”

||||

“I just can’t believe that you’re actually processing any of what you’re reading at that speed!” You say, throwing your arms up. 

“I actually am. Speed reading, when done right, doesn’t take away from comprehension at all. Plus, with my eidetic memory, I can always think back and process later if I need to,” Spencer explains. 

“Fine, you’re understanding what you’re reading in a general sense, but where’s the enjoyment in it? How can you possibly understand all the intricacies of the writing, what the author is doing, and appreciate the characters and their growth if you don’t take your time with it?” “I tend to focus my reading moreso on informational writing, so that’s not often a problem. And when I do read something fictional or with more nuance, I’m never lacking in any way when it comes to my understanding of the content, even when speed reading.”

“So you’re not actually taking the time to have fun reading is what I’m hearing.”

“Reading is inherently fun when you’re learning something, though,” he says, lips quirked in a slight smirk and a line forming between his eyebrows as he looks down at you. The look is so disarming that you find yourself deflating a little. 

You’re in your living room, a few books scattered on the coffee table between you two, debating the merits of each one. 

“I dunno,” you say, argument leaving you as you become distracted. 

“Just say I’m right! You know I am,” Spencer says with a chuckle, shaking his head and leaning toward you slightly, hands spread. 

You thought he was cute when he was shy, bumbling in your house yesterday, but after a few hours to warm up to each other, you can’t deny you really like him. 

The only thing that completely blocks the disappointment that they’ll all soon be leaving is that their UnSub will be caught when they have to leave. Your community and neighborhood will be better off for it. 

“No, I still think you’re wrong. Sure, you understand what you’re reading but I just don’t buy that you could possibly enjoy it in the same way that I am!” You’re trying your damndest to regain your confidence, shaking your head side-to-side with a wide smile to erase the vision of his own smirk, his hands, his rolled up sleeves from your mind. “I mean, nothing beats curling up with a book and taking your time with it.” “Well,” Spencer interrupts, lifting a finger, “how can you say if you’ve never tried my way?”

“Speed reading? I’ve done it, actually.” You shrug at his hesitating look, suddenly feeling vulnerable under the weight of his eyes. 

“Really? What method? What was your fastest time? What —” Morgan cuts off his questioning by walking in and calling for him. 

“Gideon wants you to take a look at something.” “Ah. Breaks over.” Spencer stands from where he was sitting on your armchair, brushing his hands off on his pants. He points at you while he walks away, “We’re not finished, though!”

“Oh?” Morgan asks when he’s gone, raising his eyebrows at you. “Unfinished business?” You scoff, moving to pick up the books you pulled out to talk to Spencer about. 

You like Morgan. He’s an easy one to like and he feels like the bigger brother you don’t have with his easy smiles. The chaos in your house hasn’t been easy, you appreciate his consistent presence to lighten the atmosphere. 

You’ve actually come to like all of them. Elle with her stories, Gideon with his dry smiles, and Spencer. Really, you just like Spencer. You’re an adult, you’re not ashamed to admit it. Just, only to yourself, lest you mess something up and make him uncomfortable. 

“You know, I can’t really say I haven’t seen him this excited before because the kid gets excited about everything but,” Morgan shrugs, pushing himself off of the wall he’s been leaning on and coming to sit next to you, “you do seem to get along well.”

“Oh, yeah, Spencer’s nice,” you say, standing to put the books away. 

“Nice,” Morgan muses, leaning back on the couch and crossing his arms. 

“He is! You all are.” You laugh when Morgan raises his eyebrows again. “I’m being serious, I would kill to work on a team like yours. You all actually work together.”

“We have to.”

“It certainly works out better when you do.”

“Yeah, your boss is a real dick. He usually walk all over you like that?” You wrinkle your nose at him as you sit down, pulling your legs under you. “More or less I guess. My personal opinion is that he’d like more men on the team and … no women,” you joke, giving him a what can you do? look, smiling sadly. 

“And you tried to transfer?”

“Stop profiling me,” you say, eyes narrowing. Morgan smiles, all teeth.

“Not profiling, just remembering him saying something like that when we talked at the station.”

“Oh,” you say, slouching back. “That’s considerably less impressive.” “Ouch.”

“Yeah, yeah, I wound you. But I did look into transferring a while back. I’ve been trying to move up for a while and keep getting blocked. But, no surprise, I got blocked again.” You raise an imaginary glass, cheers-ing with the air, “Go government!”

“That’s fucked,” Morgan says, letting out a low whistle. “So you don’t want to stay a victims liasion?”

“No, I do. But it’s not my only job right now. It’s a little complicated, but our office is too small to have a head liaison. So I really just run around filling gaps wherever I can until I’m needed to do my actual job. I’d love to do just liaison work, I really like working with the public. Feels like I’m actually helping people, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” “Hey,” you say suddenly, not wanting to keep the mood somber (or ignore the FBI agent in your house with your silly woes while a murder investigation is underway), “you want some tea? Coffee?”

“Sure doll, I’ll take some coffee,” Morgan says, a confused smile taking over his face, “if you’re offering.”

||||

“It’s actually pretty interesting,” Spencer is saying, flipping through files and leaning over to show Elle something. 

“Oh, I bet. Nothing better than vicious murder,” you say, dry, rolling a pen between your fingers. 

“I mean the process behind deciphering their reasoning,” Spencer says, shrugging. 

“I just don’t know how you look past it to see anything other than the violence,” you say, shuddering. 

He and Elle have taken the night shift and are giving you a rundown on profiling. You’ve worked with profilers before, but they’re small-town cops, more interested in closing cases than being scientific, or, at times, even correct. 

“How do you look past a crying mother after her daughter has been murdered to get the information you need?” Elle asks. “I’ve worked with hundreds of victims, I think I’m pretty good at it, but your records show that you’re one of the best.”

You heat at the praise, shrugging your shoulders. “I wouldn’t say I look past them. I actually try to get into their shoes to figure out what I can say to get through to them.”

“Often the victims families know more than they think. Every bit of information they can give us or the police about the victim only lead us closer to the unsub. We often rely on your job to get important information out of victims and families that we wouldn’t otherwise have. It requires tact, empathy, and extreme emotional control,” Spencer explains, setting the file down and brushing his hair back. 

“Well, thank you?”

“I think he’s trying to say what we do is similar,” Elle explains, “it’s just the opposite side of it.”

“I’m still not following — but I’m definitely not built to be a profiler, that’s for sure.”

“But you could be. You profile in your own way. We look at the bad guys, the killing patterns, stuff like that,” Spencer leans forward, enthusiastic. “You just profile less intense people. Gather information from them, figure out what they need. Get in their shoes, to use your words. You use their actions, small phrases, and what you can gather from their homes to approach them the best way, no?”

“Looking at their clothes and body language and stuff, sure.”

“We do exactly that with crime scenes. Recognize patterns. Just like you can’t imagine seeing past the violence, some of us can’t imaigne having to see past the emotion of someone dealing with fresh loss.” Elle smiles. “You’d probably make a really good profiler. You’re just a better victims advocate.”

You consider that, weighing their words. “Sure, maybe,” you admit. “I still think it’s kinda like magic, though. Your knowledge, your intuition, your teamwork. It’s cool.”

“Thank you,” Elle says kindly. 

Spencer jumps back into his explanation of the types of murder-kidnappers, musing with Elle again about their profile. Their ability to constantly return to the same evidence over and over without any hesitation is still amazing to you. Despite what Elle said, you’re sure you’d get bored. 

You’re even more sure that it would stick to you in a way that working with the victims never did. You visit crime scenes, sure, but you never do everything in your power to commit every bit of them to memory. 

As they talk, you move toward the window and move the curtains over slightly. It’s the middle of the night, the second the team has spent in your home, and you’re curious how much longer this unsub will take to be caught. 

You’ve done your best to keep to your usual schedule and luckily it’s not unusual for you to be up late. The movement behind the curtains won’t be suspicious, so you stand and peek out curiously at the home across the street. 

Penny sighs from her bed in the living room, snoring softly. She’s taken a liking to your guests who are always willing to give her attention and scraps of food. 

The Furgison house bigger than yours, a family home with a large backyard. It’s a faded blue, lightened by the sun, with a white door. Theres a dim porch light that’s been left on, throwing yellow shaddows across the street. 

You swear you see a curtain move in the window and your entire body freezes, breath stolen from your lungs. 

“Hey guys?” You say, dead quiet, as you see the curtains flutter again. Small, nearly inperceptable movement. Greys and blacks angainst more greys and blacks. 

“Yeah?” Elle asks, still reading over the file with Spencer. 

“You’re sure that nobodys gone in tonight?”

“Certain,” Elle says, moving quickly to stand next to you. “Why?”

“Curtains moved,” you say, nodding toward the house. 

“Maybe the AC was left on?” Elle suggests and you shake your head. 

“No, we would’ve noticed it before now. They have no animals, the house should be empty.”

Your heart is racing as Spencer joins you at the window. 

“You sure you saw it move?” He asks, moving to stand behind you, just out of sight at the window, a hand pressed to your back. Gentle pressure, just his fingertips, that makes you siffen even more. He moves his hand, whispering an apology. 

You wish he hadn’t. 

Your mind spins, distracted for a moment, shaking your head again. 

“Yes, I’m certain.”

“Go get Morgan and Gideon,” Spencer tells you, sharing a look with Elle. 

||||

You follow the team out, despite their insistence that you don’t have to, holding your own handgun out and following the light Morgan casts. 

You live in a relatively sleepy neighborhood. Shared duplexes and little houses line the streets, most with little flowerbeds out front. The Furgison house is no exception: it’s a little blue house with rose bushes out front. It backs the small patch of wood that runs along the length of the highway. 

Heart racing and head light from adrenaline, you stay out front to watch for any movement inside while Morgan and Hotch creep around one side of the house, Spencer and Elle take the other side. 

“Back here,” you faintly hear Morgan say through your earpiece. “The cellar door is open. It was deadlocked last time.”

You sitffen, readjusting your grip on your gun. 

“Wasn’t it cleared, though, when we were here last?” Elle asks. 

“Yeah, but he could’ve snuck in through the woods — there’s no telling.”

“Didn’t we position police cars on the highway?” Elle again. You can imagine them all standing behind the house, guns drawn. It’s intersting to hear them communicate so efficiently, voices low. 

“We’ll worry about it later. Morgan, you take the lead, I’ll take the rear, Elle stay out here.”

For a long few seconds, you hear Morgan, Spencer, and Hotch begin to clear the basement, until you’re jolted out of the repetitive “clear!”s by Hotch yelling, “FBI, put your hands up!”

The next few minutes turn into a whirlwind as police cars arrive and Morgan drags the UnSub out of the house by his handcuffed arms. 

The Furgison boy comes out next, disheveled and passed to the paramedics in the back of an ambulance. Once you see Hotch, Spencer, and Elle are okay as well, you jump into action, going to sit with the boy and comfort him. Morgan is there, too, crouched down to talk to the kid. 

“You’re all good now,” he’s saying, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. “And my friend here is going to make sure that you see your dad as soon as possible.” Morgan gestures to you and you nod at the little boy. 

The sight of him makes your chest ache: he’s scrawny with wide brown eyes and a mop of curls on the top of his head. 

“Agent Morgan is right, your dad is going to meet us at the hospital.”

The boy doesn’t say anything, shaking under his emergency blanket. 

“I’ll ride with you in the ambulance, too, and that’ll be fun, right?” You ask, jumping up to sit next to him. Slowly and sluggish the boy rests his head on your shoulder, still shivering. You wrap an arm around him before mouthing ‘I’ve got him’ to Morgan. He gives you a small sile, waves at the boy, and goes to join his team. 

After being checked over again by the paramedics, the boy falls asleep quickly in the hospital, holding his dads hand. You’re leaving the room, shutting the door with a soft click, when you see Spencer sitting in the hallway. 

“How is he?” Spencer asks, standing up at the sight of you. 

“He’s okay, some minor bruises and scrapes, dehydrated but on an IV. They’re just happy to be back together.”

“That’s good,” Spencer says, falling quiet and looking away. 

“And, hey, you guys caught the bad guy — now you all get to go home!”

“Yeah,” Spencer says, turning to look at you again, chuckling slightly without any heart behind it. 

“Are you not excited?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. 

“It’s always nice coming back home after a trip, even one as close to home as this one is. But it’s a little bittersweet.”

“How so?”

You practically see Spencer gathering his courage, straightening his shoulders and sending you a small but genuine smile. 

“Well, we have some unfinished business, remember? And you never showed me your lexicon.”

“Well,” you say, smiling, “you’ll just have to keep in touch, then. Maybe we can get dinner?”

“Yeah. Yes, of course. Dinner.” Spencer is fully grinning now, eyes squinting with the force of it. You can’t help but mirror him, laughing a little. “Well, I do have a car to catch. I just wanted to check on him and say goodbye.”

“Well, goodbye for now Dr. Reid.”

“Goodbye,” he says, smiling at you for a second longer before turning to walk to the exit. He makes it to the doors before he hesitates, one hand on the handle. He stands there, still, for a moment before turning around and asking, “Dinner, like a date, right?”

Giddy, your smile only widens as you nod. “I would really like that, if you’re asking, yeah.”

“I’m asking.”

“Okay, then it’s a date.”

i wanted more to happen here but then i got this far and still had so much more i could write about these two aahhh

lmk if u want a pt 2 bc i kind of have ideas :) tysm for reading!!

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 3

(Overview |Ep1+2 | Ep4 | Ep5)

I really wanted to drop this before Episode 4, but the thing is I really really really struggled with this episode. The first two episode were very clear to me, so clear even that I managed binge-write my first post within a single night after having spent the previous night rewatching the episodes and taking notes. I kept asking myself the question "Style does this and acts like this, but why?" and quickly found my answers. But looking at episode 3? I really struggled with the "but why".

But let's get into it anyway. Not that I finish this post only when the final episode drops lol.

~~~ Spoiler warning for episode 4 ~~~

To recap: when we last saw Fadel and Style together in episode 2 Fadel ambushed Style in the locker room and basically declared war on Style. Style launched counterattacks. They did not part on the best of terms.

Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. This time I won't do that, because they consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.

No. 1: RAWR

The very first sequence at the heavy metal bar is where my first problem already arises: I am undecided on whether Style went there on purpose to find Fadel or if he went there of his own accord to have fun and just happened to run into Fadel completely by chance. Because you could make arguments both FOR and AGAINST Style showing up specifically for Fadel.

AGAINST: Style does look kinda surprised when walks up to Fadel. When they're chatting by the counter Style says he's here all the time (which is something he doesn't say about the running track or the gym – two spots that we know he only went to for Fadel). We also don't get to see Style looking at the notebook like we do before he bugs Fadel at the running track for the first time or later in the episode when he shows up at the support group meeting. What's more, Style doesn't really attempt to stick to Fadel no matter what until Fadel either physically gets rid of him or just walks away. Instead Style leaves of his own accord to have fun with people who aren't Fadel and also seems perfectly content to do so.

FOR: When Kant looks through the notebook in ep2 after Bison hands it to him we can see that the bar is in there. So Style should know this bar is one of Fadel's go-to spots. Style could be feigning surprise when he walks up to Fadel to make it look like a chance meeting and he could also be lying about being there all the time.

Whether or not Style came to the bar in order to seek out Fadel specifically or not, when he walks up to Fadel and sits down next to him it's all in a friendly manner. His behavior has an air of Oh hey there person that I know, let me say hello! to it.

Style is once again trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation despite their confrontation last time they saw each other. Or maybe he's trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation because of the confrontation last time they saw each other. Style's friendly approach makes it clear that he's not holding any grudges about it. Fadel is not up for a friendly conversation, though. In the scene by the counter he says a total amount of two sentences to Style (or even just one, if you don't count the "no" as a single sentence). Style tries to get Fadel to socialize, to get Fadel to come out of his grumpy shell and go dance with him a little bit, to loosen up and scream a little bit. Fadel won't budge. So Style gives him his space and walks off, but not without inviting Fadel to follow him just in case Fadel miraculously changes his mind. After Style clinks bottles with his (new?) friends he looks back at Fadel and nods at him before getting busy with his friends.

I want to talk about that nod for a quick moment. Because as an introvert who tends to be quiet and shy in a crowd (especially a crowd of strangers or people I don't know well) I have my fair share of experience of being alone in a crowd. And I adore that Style is making contact with Fadel again, even though he already walked away and their conversation is actually over. As I've mentioned in some tags before, some of Style's core personality traits really remind me of a dear old friend of mine. We had a time in our late (ish) teens where we'd hang out at our youth leader's flat every day. My friend and my youth leader would often play Magic: The Gathering, which is something that's really not my thing and so I'd be "left out" that is I'd be chilling next to them doing my own thing or just watching them, not understanding shit. They'd be in the middle of a game and my friend would sometimes randomly look up and nod at me like that or he would pull faces at me or do some other random shit to communicate with me for a second before focusing back on the game. These small gestures were something I always really appreciated because they made me feel included, even though I had no interest in the game and couldn't really be part of it. The way Style nods at Fadel reminds me of that. He's making contact with Fadel across the room, involving him, including him. It's a nod kind of like Hey, I see you. And yeah, Fadel doesn't really want to be seen, except deep down maybe he does.

Which brings me to the choking scene. Style is having fun with his friends (or random people he just met??). He spots Fadel, excuses himself and walks over. Almost as if he saw Fadel standing there all on his own and decided to talk to him because "You're supposed to have fun with your friends at a place like this". As if he doesn't want Fadel be all alone. So he walks up to him and starts another conversation. We get another confirmation that Style isn't holding any grudges about their confrontation in the locker room, because he actively teases Fadel about it. I'm not even sure Style is purposefully being flirty here, I think he really is going more for a playful callback to the locker room confrontation, mixed with a challenge of "So? Are you gonna go rough on me again? I dare you to do it again!"

What's more, I think at this point his brain is set to I must hit on him, so I must drop flirty shit whenever possible. So when he says Fadel looks sexy, while there sure is some truth to it and he certainly finds Fadel sexy in general, I don't think he really 100% means it in that specific moment. It's almost more as if he's saying it out of habit, just for the sake of dropping flirty shit and compliments at any given opportunity.

All in all, that night at the bar Style isn't really being annoying or flirting with Fadel on purpose. He spends the night trying to make friends with Fadel again, trying to make amiable conversation, trying to involve him in friendly banter, trying to genuinely connect with him. As if to get Fadel to open up and come out of the shell that he has deeply buried himself in. And I think what this interaction also shows is that Style is starting to have positive feelings towards Fadel. It's the beginning of Style genuinely liking Fadel more than he dislikes him. Style is slowly starting to worry and to care about him.

No. 2: The Best Way to Burn Calories

Now for this scene we know for a fact Style is here for Fadel specifically. Once again, Style blurts out flirty shit and once again it doesn't sound entirely genuine as if he actually means what he says. Kant has sent him on a mission to hit on Fadel, but Style still hasn't quite figured out how to get through to him. Fadel continuously ignores or even blocks Style's attempts to make friends with him or to genuinely connect to him and the flirting also doesn't seem to be working. (Oh, Style. If only you knew just how well your genuine flirting at the gym worked on Fadel 🤭)

Style knows very well that Fadel is annoyed by him (Fadel even explicitly tells him that it's a bad morning if he sees Style). And I think at this point Style has decided that if he can't be a positive presence in Fadel's life he'll simply just be a negative presence then. Since that will still bring him closer to his goal than being no presence in Fadel's life at all would bring him. So he just shows up, bugs Fadel to remind him of Style's existence and also drops flirty shit at any given opportunity while he's at it regardless of whether he genuinely means what he says in that moment or not. And while I'm sure there is some truth behind Style's words, I think a lot of the flirting really is more of a routine now, a habit. Since that is what he was hired to do after all.

Side quest: Body and Heart

One thing this scene touches on is that Style definitely isn't in it just for sex alone but that he desires an emotional component as well: he explicitly says he wants Fadel's body AND his heart. As I said, I don't think Style really meant the flirting here, but I do think there is some truth to his words, namely his desire to not just have meaningless sex but to also be in love.

I think, unlike Kant, Style actually isn't too big on casual one-night stands. I think he enjoys flirting around, because Style is an attention hoe, but if I had to guess I would say most of the time he doesn't end up actually sleeping with anyone. Style is charming and I think he has a lot of fun with flirty banter. And he definitely loves the attention: in episode 1 he clearly enjoys it when the girls are admiring his waist that he proudly shows off at the bowling alley, in episode 2 he gives Fadel permission to look at his naked body, and then later in episode 3 he also looks very happy and satisfied after those girls call him "hot" when he's dropping of the car keys at the host club.

Style loves the attention, he enjoys the flirty banter, but I think sleeping around no strings attached isn't truly his kind of thing. We get another hint of this in episode 1 when Kant claims "[Y]ou’re in no position to call me out when you’ve been playing around just the same". Style replies "I don’t know what you’re talking about" in a disapproving tone and with a skeptical face.

In fact, in Thai he says:

อะไรของมึงว่ะ [àrai - kŏng - mueng - wâ] what - of - you - [rude particle]

I haven't checked this phrase back with a native speaker yet, but I've often heard it in the sense of Wtf is your problem? or Wtf is up with you? or Wtf are you talking about? To me, the English subs sound almost more like Style is deflecting Kant's statement while in Thai to me it feels like Style is actively disagreeing with Kant's words (feel free to correct me on this if I'm wrong @happypotato48 🙏).

Like, Style clearly doesn't approve of Kant's accusations and immediately goes attention seeking to highlight that that is what he's all about:

Going with the crop top shot specifically because I'm SURE some of you will really appreciate it lol

The literal translation of what he says here is actually more like "I'm just checking my rating":

กูก็แค่เช็คเรตติ้งกูเฉยๆว่ะวะ [guu - gôr kâe - chék - ret-dting - guu - chŏiie chŏiie - wâ wá] I - only - check - rating - I/my - just - [rude particle]

Style wants eyes on him, not hands, and he wants to be rated the hottest person in town by everyone who takes just one single look at him, thank you very much.

What's more, right before this exchange he also tells Kant to quit his one-night stands and get a real lover, so we know Style is very much team "having a boyfriend is a good thing". Style not being too big on meaningless one-night stands will also be reflected later in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel " What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I’m damn devoted to love. I want to date*" when he complains about Fadel ditching him right after their hook-up as well as in episode 4 when Style tells him "I'm not just anyone. I need clarity" when Fadel points out "Some people [have sex] countless times and never called it anything" after Style asks what their relationship is now that they've hooked up twice. We see it also in the way how enraged and genuinely hurt Style is in episode 4 after the stunt Fadel pulls in the kitchen. For Style, sex isn't just sex and I think as impulsive as he can be he still makes very deliberate decisions about who he actually sleeps with.

Kant may claim Style plays around just like Kant does, but the thing is that night at the bowling alley? It's Kant who finds himself someone to spend a fun night with while we see Style leaving the bowling alley all by himself without his own hook-up. You could even make arguments about how Style doesn't actually like doing the pursuing and much rather prefers to be pursued. But more on that later.

*(Actually, literally he doesn't say "I want to date" but "I want a faen" -> confirming once again Style is Team Steady Boyfriend)

No. 3: Sweet Meat

Just like in the scene at the sports field right beforehand, Style continues to be an annoying presence in Fadel's life, if he can't manage to be a positive presence. For this scene he even turns up his annoyingness level a little more than at the running track. What's very interesting here compared to the meat stall scene from episode 2 is that here in episode 3? Style doesn't give a shit that Fadel turns away and walks off without buying anything. In episode 2 he was very quick to yield in order to keep Fadel from running away, but this time Style doesn't care that Fadel just ditches him. When Fadel has gone, Style immediately hurries after him. He's already got his next move planned.

No. 4: Burger Burger Burger Burger

I think Style tries out a different strategy here: maybe if he helps Fadel, Fadel will finally soften up to him. What's also interesting is that every word out of Style's mouth suddenly sounds a lot more genuine now compared to what he was spouting at the running track or at the market earlier that day. And I think it's because he (thinks he) is helping Fadel.

Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.

And if we go back to the thought that maybe, just maybe, Style actually doesn't like to pursue others then it's no surprise that his words here suddenly sound a lot more genuine now that he (thinks he) is helping Fadel compared to his half-assed attempts at flirting earlier that day on the sports field and at the market. Helping people is Style's thing. He's back in his comfort zone which means now he can be much more sincere in his words and his actions again, because there is less of a need to pretend to be a type of person that he just simply is not.

Which also results in Style being much more playful again rather than annoying. For example, when he calls Fadel a "good-looking chef" and shoves him with his his gigantic burger bun. Or when he teases Fadel about being shy. Or when he asks Fadel "You hungry?" after they end up on the ground. This time I actually believe Style's words. Where the flirting at the running track and the teasing at the market felt more like a task where Style was mostly just saying words to get the job done, now that he's back in his comfort zone it sounds like he actually means everything he says again.

There is also some sort of sincerity to Style's desire to help. Fadel, however, does not want Style's help and tries to send him away. Style reminds him that Fadel should probably be making burgers instead of wasting time arguing with him and also points out that Fadel's own brother, who is supposed to be here helping him, is nowhere to be found and that he, Style, is in fact right here by Fadel's side helping him, supporting him. I think Style is being a little overly dramatic when he says "All I ask from you is a little decency" in order to get Fadel to soften up at least a little bit and to get him to accept Style's help, but I also think Style does genuinely desire at least some form of recognition for his support as well. But Fadel won't budge and once again just abandons him.

No. 5: This Is A... kitchen

Trouble arises at the diner and once again we see that Style likes being helpful, because he rushes into the kitchen, immediately ready to help serve the customers. And this time his desire to help is real. It might also stem a little from his desire to fix things, because it is his own fault that the restaurant is overrun and so part of him might want to make up for that, too. What matters, though, is that it's not just another attempt at getting close to Fadel like earlier when he was promoting the restaurant. Fadel blocks him once again, but Style insists. And I think he really hits the nail on the head with this:

I haven't yet looked at Fadel as closely as I have at Style (oh how I wish I had the time, though *cries in university student*) but I do think that this is ultimately something Fadel will be forced to learn over the course of the series.

Anyway, Fadel tries to send Style away again, but Style refuses to go and lists a number of arguments as to why he should in fact go serve tables instead of going home. He ends his arguments by telling Fadel to learn to accept help and then then determinedly tells him that he'll go wait the tables himself. Once those words are out of his mouth he looks at Fadel almost with a bit of a defiant expression on his face as if he's waiting for Fadel to object again.

But this time Fadel says "Fine, you can wait the tables" and Style nods and raises an eyebrow in surprise and happiness, like Wait?? I can?? For real?? You're actually letting me?? I don't have to fight you some more?? You're not throwing me out again??

When Style goes to change into the uniform right there in the kitchen, I don't think he's doing it to be flirty or anything like that at first. I think in the heat of the moment he genuinely forgot that changing rooms (or in this case, bathrooms) exist. I think he wanted to follow Fadel's order as quickly as possible so that he could start helping as quickly as possible. That is, until Fadel tells him off and sends him to the bathroom. Style responds by playfully teasing Fadel about being shy. Style is in an excellent mood now because it's one of those rare occasions where Fadel accepts Style's presence rather than trying to get rid of him. And while I do think Style changes in the kitchen anyway in order to tease Fadel, I don't think he's necessarily doing it to tease Fadel for sexy reasons but rather for playfully petty reasons. Because Fadel keeps scolding him and yelling at him and when Fadel tells him off for changing clothes in the kitchen, Style does it out of spite. Like Oh, you don't want me to change in the kitchen? Well, in this case i DEFINITELY have to change in the kitchen, then. I will say, though, that there is definitely a little bit of an Oh, you're NOT shy? Well, prove it, then! in there as well. But I don't think that this thought is Style's main focus here, because apart from this one look that Style throws Fadel right after he's pulled his shirt over his head...

...from what the camera shows us he seems more focused on the clothes and the action of changing them rather than on Fadel's reaction to him getting naked:

We, the audience, were shown Fadel's reactions to Style getting undressed and I think if Style had taken note of these reactions, the series would have made a point in showing us that Style notices Fadel's crisis. And our chatty cat here would have 100000% teased Fadel about it. What's more, Style has no idea just how much of an effect his naked body had on Fadel back at the sauna. Style has absolutely no idea that Fadel went and fantasized about him afterwards. So Style does not (yet) know that his naked body is one of the strongest weapons he currently has in the fight for Fadel. So Style does not (yet) realize that he could be using his body in a much more deliberate manner. And I don't think he realized it in this scene either, because as I said we would have been shown his discovery. So Style leaves the scene none the wiser, but eager to help and absolutely stoked that Fadel actually lets him for once.

No. 6: Death by Spatula?

Unexpectedly, Fadel drops lore of himself and I think that piques Style's interest because Fadel almost NEVER drops lore of himself. Pretty much all the things Style knows about Fadel are things he got from other people (like all the information in the notebook) or things he found out by himself (either because he's picked up on them in all their interactions so far or because he actively did some research like when he looked up Fadel's name). There are only two other instances where Fadel himself revealed something about himself to Style:

When Style finds him at the gym, Fadel drops that he doesn't like it when it's crowded and that this is why he likes going to the gym at night.

When Fadel tells Style that he runs a burger joint in the "sensitive nipples" scene and also mentions that he does everything by himself. Although this incident barely counts, because Fadel didn't really give this information voluntarily but was instead kind of forced to since Style had found the pin of his restaurant.

Usually, Fadel refuses to reveal anything about himself. But now Fadel is overwhelmed by the many customers and in his stress he lets slip that he doesn't need money and that he only runs the restaurant for fun. When Fadel then also claims not to be rich, Style immediately finds it sus. Lucky for him, though, he won't make the right guess until later in the episode and so he manages to escape being prematurely murdered with a spatula. But Style doesn't know that.

Instead, Style just got a lot more intrigued by Fadel. This is one of those incidents that make Style want to get to know Fadel out of his own curiosity and not because he wants to help his friend and is getting his dream car as a reward. Style is starting to take a genuine interest in Fadel as a person and his positive feelings towards Fadel grow.

No. 7: First Bites

When Fadel wordlessly hands Style the burger it's the first time that Fadel is actively reaching out to him. Reaching out to him in a friendly manner that is, not to ambush him in a dark locker room and start a fight. And Style is absolutely delighted that Fadel is finally taking a step towards him instead of walking away from him like he usually does. And Style being Style, he of course has to immediately make a big deal out of it: "Are you finally folding? Was it because of how hard working I am? You like me now, don’t you?"

Actually, I wanna take a little detour to the language side of things again. The English translation has a question tag only on the last sentence, but in Thai Style actually uses question words that give a sense of "right?" or "isn't that so?" at the end of every single one of these questions.

นี่มึงเปิดใจให้กูแล้วใช่ป่ะ [nêe - mueng - bpèrt - jai - hâi - guu - láew - châi bpà] [interjection] - you - open - heart, mind - to, for - I/me - already - right?

I actually really like the expression he uses in Thai: he says เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] which consists of the words "(to) open" (เปิด) and "heart, mind" (ใจ). To me, that gives me the feeling of Style not just asking Did I manage to win you over? but more of a feeling of You are finally opening (your heart) up to me, right? You are finally letting me in? which I think is a much nicer image in regard to Fadel's character and Fadel and Style's relationship.

มึงเห็นความขยันความตั้งใจกูแล้วใช่ไหมล่ะ [mueng - hĕn - kwaam kà-yăn - kwaam dtâng jai - guu - láew - châi măi - lâ] you - see - diligence - intention, determination - I/my - already - right? - [particle]

I don't know if others feel the same way, but in the English translation the "hard working" part mostly makes me think of Style working hard with helping at the restaurant before this conversation. A more literal translation of what he says in Thai would be "You've seen my diligence and determination, haven't you?" and I'm sure he's actually more referring to his determination and relentless efforts in getting close to Fadel.

I just really like the way Style phrases all his questions here in Thai. Fadel has enclosed his heart deep within him in very thick and high walls and no one gets access to it. And Style's task isn't that he has to get Fadel to simply just fold to him, surrender to him, but what he actually needs to do is to search for a way to reach Fadel's heart. His options are either to tear down Fadel's walls by sheer force or to somehow get Fadel to trust him so much that Fadel will willingly unlock and open up the doors leading to the depths of his heart. And it's like Style is asking You're finally letting me in, right? You're finally recognizing my diligent efforts to reach you, right? You no longer hate me, right? You like me now, don't you?

And I don't think Style is necessarily flirting here and means to ask if Fadel likes him romantically. On the surface, yes, he is definitely also asking if the flirting (attempts) have worked and if Fadel is starting to fall for him. But I think a lot of this is also about how he has on multiple occasion now tried to form a genuine connection with Fadel. Just in this episode alone we can see it in the way he asks Fadel if he likes heavy metal at the heavy metal bar and then tries to get him to socialize, tries to include him. We can see it the entire time at the restaurant just now where he's voluntarily helping because he genuinely cares. There are even more instances in the first two episodes, which I talk about in my first meta post of this meta series. Style has tried to bond with Fadel multiple times now but Fadel has always blocked his attempts and I think a big part of Style also wants to know if Fadel is finally starting to have at least friendly feelings towards Style. That Style is finally going from being an annoying presence in Fadel's life to being a pleasant presence in his life.

But Fadel shoots him down. "Don't get your hopes up. This is your wage." (Fun fact: in Thai Fadel actually tells Style not to เวอร์ [wer], which is a slang word coming from the English word "over" and, if I remember my Thai friend's explanation from a month ago correctly, is used to indicate that what someone is doing/saying is "too much", so what Fadel says here could be taken as "don't exaggerate" or "don't be so overly dramatic" or "don't be so hyped")

Style immediately complains that the burger is too little of a wage, but also won't let Fadel take it away from him again, insisting on eating it anyway. It might not be much of a wage, but that burger is important to Style. When Fadel sends him home, Style dramatically laments being exploited and thrown away. I think this is yet another one of Style's attempt to get some friendly banter out of Fadel. But Fadel isn't having it. Fadel makes it clear that he wants Style gone asap and Style is annoyed that Fadel keeps making him leave. I think Style is genuinely enjoying hanging out with Fadel at the burger joint and also genuinely wants to stay. His positive feelings continue to develop.

Special shout-out also to the way Style loudly goes "Mmh! Mmmh!!" while chomping down on the burger to make sure Fadel knows exactly how much he's enjoying Fadel's food. Which isn't just food in this instance, no, the burger also stands for an unspoken thank you for helping me and symbolizes the first time Fadel has actively reached out to Style on his own and done a nice thing for him. Style is making sure Fadel won't miss just how much he appreciates this gesture.

No. 8: A Fly on the Wall

Oh, how desperately I wish we knew at which point of the conversation between the brothers Style came in exactly! This is going to drive me insane, because I have no idea just how much of the conversation Style overheard, which unfortunately is important information for the interpretation of his interactions with Fadel from this point on. Most of all I really NEED to know if Style happened to hear this specific line:

Fun fact: in Thai he doesn't actually say "you wanted to rely on" but he says (ที่)มึงจะไปอยู่ด้วย [(thêe) - mueng - jà - bpai - yòo - dûuay] which should translate to something like "(that) you were gonna be with" or "were gonna live with" (disclaimer: I didn't double-check this with a native speaker) which sounds much more like a serious relationship to me rather than when phrased as "dude you wanted to rely on". And we'll get the confirmation of an ex-boyfriend later in the episode.

Now the question is: DOES STYLE KNOW ABOUT THE EX-BOYFRIEND NOW?? DOES HE KNOW FADEL WAS IN LOVE BEFORE?? PLEASEEE I NEED TO KNOW 😭😭😭

In my quest to find an answer to these questions I did come across a strange background noise that comes right after this line, though. A background noise that could very well be interpreted as Style sliding open the door. So for the sake of my own sanity I'll go with Style only having heard this part of the conversation for sure:

F: Why did you bring this up? K: I just want you to tell your brother how pipe dreams always end. In this line of profession, no one waits for you.

This is yet another incident that gets Style genuinely curious about Fadel, about who he is exactly. Style will certainly be wondering about what that profession is from now on. And he will certainly be wondering about what that profession could be after he watches Fadel beat up three grown men like it's nothing. And he won't know that he will have hit jackpot with his guess.

No. 9: Private Show

Where the masturbation scene from episode 2 confirms that Fadel feels genuine physical/sexual attraction to Style, this scene confirms that the feeling is mutual on Style's side of things as well. Style, too, finds Fadel's body hot. What's more, he never stops looking at Fadel. And not just at his body, but throughout his fantasy, Style is always searching for Fadel's eyes. In fact, he rarely takes his own eyes off of Fadel's face, and when Style does direct his eyes somewhere else it's always only for a very short moment. I think this once again shows that Style desires an emotional connection next to a physical one as well. Sex isn't just sex to Style, he wants more with it.

It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul, so another reason for the intense eye contact could be that Style also wants to stare deep into Fadel's soul to get to know him better in a quest to find answers to who this mysterious person really is. Because by now Style is genuinely curious. He has genuinely started to care.

Remember how I mentioned that arguments could be made for Style actually liking being pursued more than doing the pursuing and that I would get into this later? Later is now.

At this point I want to plug @clemelntine's extremely interesting perspective on the two sexual fantasies that we've gotten so far and what that means for the storage room hook-up. I'm not gonna reiterate everything, but I do want to pick up on what she says about Style specifically:

No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.

In Style's own fantasy, Style is sitting back, he's letting Fadel take the reins, do the work. This is also in line with @secriden's excellent meta on Style's true desire being to be pursued, which I also really encourage you to read. Again, I won't repeat the entire post, but she highlights how Style will downright create opportunities for Fadel to lay his hands on him and how "every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins" (quoted from @secriden). And we see this desire in the fantasy too. Style imagines Fadel being the active one while Style gets to sit there and enjoy. Our little attention hoe here likes it when people are actively after him.

I was struggling to really make sense of Style this episode. In the first two episodes, whenever Style was being annoying there would be some sort of trigger for it. I was confused especially in the beginning of this episode, because I didn't understand how and why Style would go from trying to genuinely bond with Fadel at the heavy metal bar to being annoying at the running track and at the market when nothing seemed to have triggered it. I could tell Style was being annoying on the sports field and at the market, but I really couldn't figure out the "but why?" of it all. But if we look at his behavior through the lens of "Style actually prefers being pursued over doing the pursuing", I think it makes more sense. Style prefers for others to put in the effort of pursuing and now that he's forced to do the pursuing himself he doesn't really know how to go about it, especially when the person he's trying to woo has walls high up to the sky and continuously shoots him down. Style shows up and drops flirty lines but he doesn't even really mean them because he doesn't actually want to do the pursuing. The inauthenticity in his insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).

No. 10: Mark Style Down As Scared AND Horny

We will later learn that Style doesn't believe Fadel about needing more money for the restaurant and was just acting stupid to gain Fadel's trust, but when I first sat down to take notes for my meta I wasn't sure if Style was being entirely accurate/truthful when he said this, since he witnessed Fadel taking on three grown men only after that whole conversation about the restaurant. So why would he feel a need to gain Fadel's trust before that? At first I thought that maybe Style did believe Fadel for a moment there, especially also because he presented Fadel with an excuse as to why he was working there right away and then also sounded a bit too sincere when he offered support to Fadel. However, on second thought I'm now thinking that maybe he really does distrust Fadel's claims from the start.

Outside the host club Style approaches Fadel and I don't think it's with the motivation to flirt with him but rather to find out why exactly Fadel would be here stripping for some ladies. It's a bit odd that he immediately offers Fadel an out of "You need the money for your restaurant, right?" when he's trying to get answers, but maybe this clumsy approach at digging for answer is already part of Style playing dumb on purpose to gain Fadel's trust. But why would he need to gain Fadel's trust when he hasn't even seen yet what Fadel is really capable of?

While it is true that up until the "why are you working as a stripper" conversation Style hasn't witnessed the real danger that Fadel poses, there've still been enough incidents to make him suspicious of Fadel. It already starts right during their first meeting when Fadel won't let Style get near his car. That's weird, Style finds it weird. Next thing Style knows is that Fadel also doesn't have any papers for said car which is very odd again. In episode 2 Style gets a little hint of Fadel's dangerous side when Fadel ambushes him in the locker room. In episode 3 he learns that Fadel opened the burger place just for fun rather than to earn money and that apparently Fadel isn't rich and yet somehow still has the resources and the time to run a whole restaurant for fun. Shortly after that he (likely) overhears something about a "profession" which clearly can't refer to the profession of being a burger joint owner. Style has enough reasons to be suspicious of Fadel, even before he witnesses Fadel's badass fighting skills. Style has reasons to gain Fadel's trust and to stay on his good side, especially since Style himself is hiding ulterior motives and can't risk Fadel getting suspicious of his own true intentions. So Style plays dumb, offers Fadel an out, and when Fadel takes that out Style raises his eyebrows and hesitates for a moment like Oh, okay. We're going with the lie, then, before he offers Fadel support.

The conversation gets interrupted by those three men looking for a fight and for the first time Style gets to see just how dangerous Fadel can get when he wants to. This is where Style truly realizes that something really is very, very OFF about Fadel. It's no longer a joke or a gut feeling, no, this is confirmation that something here is incredibly shady. And Style wants to get to the bottom of it.

No. 11: Hit by Apollo's Ball of Prophecy

There've been a few incidents that got Style curious about who Fadel really is behind his thick walls and his tough exterior, a few incidents that got Style curious about Fadel's lore. But watching Fadel take on three grown man without any major problems and having them run away in fear was the last straw. Style's motivations officially change. Getting Kant's car is less important now than finding out the truth about Fadel. Style definitely exaggerates a bit when he says that Fadel must be some kind of hitman, is being dramatic as usual. It won't be much longer until Style finds out that Apollo has actually hit him with the gift of prophecy.

No. 12: Rise Up

Style is determined to find out more about Fadel's life and promptly shows up at yet another location he knows Fadel will be at. I'm not sure Style was aware this meeting was gonna be about grief and loss before he arrived and saw the sign. At least from the notebook it's hard to tell because the drawing only shows a group of people sitting in a circle of chairs with the caption "rise up". That could really be about anything. For me personally, my first association (especially in combination with the words "rise up") would be a Christian bible study group, although I doubt that Style, having been raised in a predominantly Buddhist country, would necessarily have this specific association with that image and those words, too. Point still stands that nothing about this image strictly points to loss specifically. (Technically we could say that since there's no address in the notebook, Style might have googled "rise up" in order to figure out where to go and seen on the website that it was a meeting for grief and loss. However, as we didn't actually get to see Style do any research and find this information, I'm just gonna run on the assumption that he genuinely didn't know and that maybe he got the address via Bison or something. Or maybe he actively stalked and followed Fadel, idk.)

Style stops in front of the sign, double-checks that he's at the right place, and then nods in determination, kinda like alright, let's do this, then, before he enters.

Another reason why I don't think Style was aware what this group meeting was gonna be about before he arrived is the way he's kinda confused when the group leader asks him to tell his story. The group leader elaborates ("Something you’ve lost, or the changing point in your life.") and Style, who was looking at the group leader while listening to his explanation, turns his head to look at Fadel right after the group leader says the word จุดเปลี่ยน [jùt bplìian] (= changing point). He stares at Fadel as if he's wondering Did he lose something? Was there a changing point in his life?

Style can't dwell on it for too long, though, because he has just been asked a question and now needs to come up with a cover story.

And this is where Style really starts to get out of line. He dishes out a story about some dog, which I don't really want to get into right now since at the point of me writing this we're only 4 episodes into the series and who knows, something might as well happen later down the line that could recontextualize Style's story (looking at you, Boonterm mention! 👀), but I think it's safe to say that Style isn't too involved in his story emotionally. When he cries, the crying is cringe and it's NOT because Dunk is a bad actor (far from it!!) but rather it's because Style the character isn't taking himself seriously here. This is also highlighted in the smug look and nod he shoots Fadel in the middle of his crying performance:

His behavior is very disrespectful, but I don't think he's being disrespectful on purpose. I think this is another one of his idiot boy moments where he is just really fucking stupid. Style is impulsive and doesn't think things through a lot and I think in this scene he is also so absorbed in his goal of getting to the bottom of Fadel and his mysteries that his tunnel vision on his goal prevents him from realizing the effect his actions can have on those around him, the consequences his behavior could bring. We saw it before that Style sometimes doesn't see things as much of a big deal as they actually are when he doesn't think much of texting while driving (as elaborated in my ep1 meta). Besides, his behavior has worked out pretty well for him all episode, with the worst consequence being Fadel simply just walking away from him, and Style even got to celebrate small victories like when Fadel made him a burger. So why would Style be changing his behavior now? There is no reason for Style to act differently, and so he continues to bug Fadel as usual and it genuinely doesn't occur to him that his behavior could be disrespectful or out of line.

Maybe if Style had had more time to dwell on the thought of Is Fadel here because he's lost someone? he might have realized that the situation was a lot more serious than he had originally thought and that his words/actions were gonna be out of line and that he shouldn't have been doing this, but alas that is not what happened. He didn't have the time and so he immediately gets distracted fabricating an elaborate story to answer the group leader's question and doesn't spend a single one of his brain cells thinking about his behavior and its consequences. He will soon learn about the consequences, though, because Fadel is seriously pissed now.

No. 13: Giving You What You Want (But Is It?)

Fadel is pissed and goes to confront Style in the privacy of a random storage room. Style is obviously lying to Fadel through his teeth. I do think there's some truth to it when Style says "I have my own problems. You’re not the only one" but whatever problems in life Style currently has (especially if there's anything connected to loss and grief), these problem's really aren't at the forefront of his mind right now. We know for a fact that Style is lying when he explains that he found the support group via the internet, that meeting Fadel was a coincidence and Fadel doesn't buy it either. What we, the audience, also know but what Fadel doesn't necessarily guess is that Style is also lying about how he is hitting on Fadel because he likes him and because he wants him. "Nothing more than that" he says, but as the audience we know that this is also bullshit because we know he was specifically sent by Kant and that a car is waiting for Style when he succeeds. What we also know, though, is that Style is definitely physically/sexually attracted to Fadel, so when Fadel offers to hook up with him, who is Style to say no?

I think this nc scene surprised a lot of us because it didn't go the way most of us were expecting it to go. As has already been pointed out in various posts by various people, Style is surprisingly passive during the entire act (at least, that we get to see). They have next to no eye contact, Style doesn't initiate a single kiss and barely touches Fadel except to hold him and to run his hand through Fadel's hair. But why is that?

Many a thing has already been said about this scene and about the characters' motivations and I don't think there is one specific interpretation that is the One Truth. I think many truths exist in this scene at the same time and there are many factors as to why the characters were acting the way they were acting. Emotions are complicated and sometimes you can have many of them simultaneously.

An interpretation that I haven't seen floating around yet is that part of Style's passiveness could also stem from the fact that he was caught off-guard. I don't think he was expecting Fadel to go Alright fine, have me, then. In fact, I think when Style told Fadel "I like you" and "I want you" those were mainly empty words again. Because this time he didn't seek out one of Fadel's usual places in order to to hit on him, but because he wants to find out the truth about Fadel, wants to figure out the reason why Fadel is so shady. But then he ended up pissing Fadel off who then promptly started a fight with him and Style needed to cover up his own intentions when he threw those words into Fadel's face. Style says "I want you", but he doesn't actually mean it in that moment and his actions do not reflect the I want to bang you sentiment at all either. We've all seen the sauna scene, we know how Style behaves when he actually wants to get into Fadel's towel pants. And this isn't it. So when Fadel suddenly and uncharacteristically does let Style get into his pants gets into Style's pants, I think that throws Style off and he momentarily doesn't know how to respond to the situation.

Plus, as @nnnn99999 writes in her meta, there is also the emotional disconnect. At this point of the story, neither of them is in love with the other just yet. Yes, there is mutual physical attraction and yes, by now Style has taken an interest in Fadel beyond the car, has started to develop positive feelings for Fadel and has at times actively enjoyed interacting with Fadel, but they still have their own motives and intentions and emotionally they simply just aren't quite on the same page yet. Style desires both body and heart, but both of their hearts simply aren't properly in it just yet. I don't think Style minds hooking up, he's definitely consenting to it and also enjoying it, but it's just not quite what Style dreams of, not like this. In a way, yes, it actually is what Style has dreamed of because his fantasies of Fadel doing things to him rather than him doing things to Fadel are now becoming reality, as @clemelntine beautifully explained in her meta, but in the real situation there's one important detail missing from Style's fantasy: the intense eye contact. In addition to Fadel's body, Style also wants that emotional connection. We've seen this times and times again whenever Style has tried to make friends as well as to genuinely bond with Fadel, and this desire extends also to the sex.

And lastly I want to leave you with @braceletofteeth's excellent tags on this post, which is something that I think also factors into why Style goes from being proactive to being passive in the blink of an eye:

#Fadel said he would give himself to Style #and Style let him do that #he barely touched Fadel except to hold him and caress his hair #he reciprocated the kisses but did not initiate them #he didn't try to take any more of Fadel than what Fadel willingly gave him #[head in hands]

During the entire nc part I kind of get the sense like Style is waiting. Waiting to see with a certain curiosity what Fadel will be doing next, what Fadel wants to do next, ready to happily take up whatever Fadel offers. Style is letting Fadel control the situation completely and doesn't push him once.

No. 14: Kiss or Slap?

Once again we see that Style isn't too much of a fan of casual hook-ups. And while I do think part of his motivations for saying the things he says and for trying to stop Fadel from abandoning him again is because making Fadel his boyfriend specifically rather than just hooking up with him is his goal here after all, but I do think that Style isn't lying this time. He's just a bit too annoyed when he asks "What kind of man do you take me for?" for it to be an act. I think he is genuinely offended that Fadel would think of him this way. And I think he's genuinely a little upset and hurt that Fadel is perfectly happy to sleep with him and to ditch him immediately after. We get foreshadowing to Style being very much Team Anti Hit-and-Run in episode 1 when he tells Fadel "It ain’t like me to hit and run" in the context of an actual car crash and earlier this episode when he laments "Oh, the nature of man. He will exploit you and then throw you away". Style is very much not happy with this turn of events and it's not purely because he hasn't yet completed the mission Kant has sent him on. We also get another hint of Style looking for a connection in his hook-ups in the way Style is looking at Fadel when they're getting dressed while in contrast Fadel has turned his back to Style completely, avoiding eye contact and avoiding any interaction:

Another thing that I want to point out is that Fadel says "I gave you what you wanted" and "We agreed on it" when Style tries to stop him from leaving. However, they didn't exactly agree on anything? Fadel started kissing Style before they could even come up with any terms and conditions and the thing is when Style said he wanted Fadel, he never said he wanted Fadel only once. And he also never said he wanted Fadel to run away immediately afterwards.

So Style puts up a fight. He firmly stands between Fadel and the door, blocking Fadel's way. Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. I think Style takes Fadel's sudden willingness to sleep with him as a sign that Fadel has finally developed some sort of positive feelings towards Style after all, too. And Style is confident enough about it that he trusts that Fadel wouldn't hurt him. When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he's calling out Fadel's change of heart (that is negative feelings turning into positive feelings) and is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. I'm not scared of you. I've become a positive presence in your life now. You wouldn't dare to injure me. It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat. But Fadel's trauma runs deep. And so he punches Style because giving him a bit of a beating is still better than risking to face the consequences of what might happen if he lets anyone get behind those thick high walls. And he punches Style also a little bit to put him in line for his cockiness.

And also, I may be a Style apologist and a Style enabler, but after that shit Style pulled at the group meeting that punch was totally deserved.

Please don't expect me to write a proper conclusion bc my brain is absolutely fried now bye <3

[ltlemon]

thinking about how if tsubomi accepted mob’s confession for whatever reason, how utterly Shit it would go. the world’s most autistic aroace boy and the school popular girl are like so doomed to crash and burn and it would be Incredibly fun to watch.

first off, mob really doesn’t have a crush on her.

he knows her from kindergarten and they’ve rarely spoken since-they might’ve counted as friends before, but now they’re much closer to just acquaintances. fact is, he doesn’t know her. he’s interpreting these feelings of adoration, nostalgia, and a desire to reconnect, as what’s entailed for a romantic crush. he likes a girl, she’s pretty and popular, so this must mean he likes her.

tsubomi is the shape of a person. she’s an ideal to adore, a fantasy to think towards, but she’s not a part of a real grounded relationship, nor is he ever setting her up to be.

don’t get me wrong here! he definitely likes her well enough, and maybe thinks she’s beautiful, in an aesthetic sense, but he doesn’t really ever involve himself in those feelings. they’re very analytical, they’re treated not as reasons he loves her, but just as…things. when mezato asked him “what exactly do you like about her”, he seemed genuinely shocked, like he’d never really thought about it. he stood there and tried to think about something that he loved about specifically her, some reason or some sign that he was in love, and there was nothing. all he could say was that she respected him.

so anyways. what i’m getting to with this, is that i honestly don’t think mob planned any further ahead than just…”confess”.

she’s the ideal crush, this far away idea of the girl he should like, and she doesn’t exist outside of that. since there isn’t anything deeper, if she accepted him…??? GOD.

i actually don’t think he’d know where to go from there. he didn’t plan that far ahead, even though she was the goal, this carrot on a stick the whole time.

there’d be so many weird attempts at dates and outings, they’d do “couple things” but neither really knows the other enough to know what they like, or how to talk to each other, especially with the sudden change in relationship.

mob never thought to bring her flowers or a gift until teru told him that was a thing couples usually do. so following that, he’d probably mainly instigate things in that same sort of “well, this is what couples do” sort of way. adhering to the societal expectations of how you should act when you get the girl. their relationship would be empty and forced, dragging each other along… and i just think it’s interesting because. that would be the standard ending right? boy gets a crush, works really hard on himself, musters up the courage to confess, then they get together and it’s great and everyone’s happy forever!!!

but one of the main messages of the whole show is literally “we’re all living our own lives, and we have to be ourselves despite it all.”, and having the classic guy meets girl ending specifically and loudly not click with who mob is as a person is a Very Interesting Choice. dating tsubomi, while also obviously not what she would ever choose, would also crash and burn for mob. him ending up with her would mean not being himself, and that’s basically textual. mob’s happy ending is literally accepting his emotions and walking away smiling at rejection. if that’s not so incredibly aroace of him i don’t know what is. 🎉

[sidesteppostinghours]

1 for the fhr prompts? :3

prompts from here!

HI I STARTED WRITING THIS THE MINUTE I SAW THE PROMPT LIST SO. EXCELLENT TIMING HONESTLY. this was a fun little what-if scenario very much inspired by @firststrikerr nefferious incident fic, you all should go read it, it has incredibly fun argent and chen dynamics. BUT ANYWAY. herald and argent.. go!!!

(oh also, pspsps @dogueteeth-fhr since you requested it as well)

1. "Oh, the PR department isn't going to like this."

"Oh," Argent says, a slow grin creeping onto her face, teeth as sharp as her smile as she inspects the picture on the fridge. "Oh, the PR department is going to hate this."

Daniel wasn't listening to her, too busy being miserable with his face buried in his hands. He'd been stuck like this for ten minutes now, wordlessly coming to terms with the fact he was getting fired. By this point, he was beginning to make peace with the idea of retiring. He had a good career. Maybe he could come back as a vigilante some time in the future with a proper masked identity this time. It was a miracle he wasn't fired the minute he stepped foot inside Steel's office; then again, maybe it would've been a mercy. That was easily the single most awkward conversation of his life. There's not exactly a tactful way to tell your teammate to not kiss the villain that broke his leg.

"Where did he even find this? I haven't seen anything on the papers yet." Argent tugs it off the fridge, thank god, grabbing a donut before plopping herself on the table next to him.

"I don't know," he groans, the first words he's said since he found it hung up. "They were there when I got here. I haven't seen Ricardo at all today."

"I'm surprised he hasn't tore you a new one yet." She takes a bite of her snack, looking at the pictures like she was reading the morning newspaper. "Cyrus to Puppeteer is one hell of a rebound."

Daniel grimaces, which was an appropriate reaction, but not for the reasons she thinks. Right. He broke up with Cyrus. That was bad enough for Ortega, but now he's made out with Puppeteer. Who is also Cyrus. Except Ortega doesn't know that, because Daniel kept it a secret. For Cyrus. And Puppeteer.

Ricardo was going to kill him.

"How long do you think it'll take till the press gets a hold of this?"

"Maybe... maybe PR will catch it in time?" He pulls his head up, looking at her with impossible hope.

She pauses her eating, looking over the picture to him with a single raised eyebrow. He groans again, dropping his head on the table with a thunk. He can hear her resuming her chewing.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think this is the first time Puppeteer's ever run away from you."

"Please." His suffering is still audible despite his voice being muffled by the table. "Be quiet."

It wasn't fair– what was Daniel supposed to do? They were in an abandoned building, nowhere near to any place the press should've been. He drags a hand over his face. The answer was obviously fight, but Puppeteer was taunting him. Getting riled up would've played right into his hands. He had shambled towards Herald with a stutter in his step that's so easy to connect now that he knows who's behind the mask. He thought the suit was designed to move like that, to play up the inhumanity (a terrible word choice, and it makes Daniel's mouth taste bitter).

"What would it take," he'd hummed, the vocal distorters turning it into a dissonant tune, "to finally make you face the truth?" He took a step forward, and Herald had stared him down, feet steady on the ground. "It was so easy getting what I needed out of you," he whispered. "You were so willing to be fooled." They were close enough to touch, but Puppeteer still had his hands neatly behind his back, and Herald hadn't budged. He had wondered what Cyrus could see on his face, read in his mind.

"You're nothing, Herald– to me, and to the rest of the idiots calling you heroes. Do yourself a favour, and quit before you end up embarrassing yourself again."

He was provoking him. It was clear to anybody who had any idea of the way Puppeteer operates. Part of Herald was tempted to give in– to take the first punch, and finally air out the grief he's been hiding for weeks. Was that his own sense of betrayal, or mental manipulation to goad him into acting? There was no way to be sure. The rest of him had wanted to prove him wrong.

So he did.

He finally closed the gap, quickly enough that Puppeteer didn't have a chance to register what was happening, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him into a kiss. It wasn't good, his mask isn't exactly one inviting affection, but it wasn't for long. He'd pulled away, and he could imagine the emotions going through Cyrus' face even with the mask on, hands caught halfway between any sort of movement. It was the same look he had when Daniel said he liked hanging out with him the first time they had coffee together. The same look when he admitted he was attracted to him. The same one when Daniel said he loved him.

He hadn't realized his hand had migrated from over his face to settle onto his mouth, and when he finally looks up again, Argent is staring at him, brows furrowed together. Shit.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on between you two, but-"

"You don't need to say it." There's a slight squeak to his voice as he cuts her off. "Please. Whatever you need to say, Steel already told me. I promise."

She smiles again, amused, finishing the last of her snack.

"Whatever you say," she shrugs, swinging her legs off the table to stand back up. "Have fun with Ortega," she sing-songs, turning around before she could see his face.

She throws the picture in the trash as she leaves, leaving Daniel to wallow in peace.

[theflyingfeeling]

hiiiiiiii I just wrote this little Olli/Allu thingie for fun, I hope you'll have fun reading it 💖 it's soft with a pinch of pining (please act surprised), and somewhat based on a couple of conversations that have been had here in the Olli/Allu Delulu Land, some of which in my/other people's asks, others in DMs 💕

~

Olli and Aleksi had touched each other in many ways before they first kissed each other. Perhaps that was exactly what messed with Olli's head the most.

They had hugged and wrapped their arms around the other's shoulder, like any good friends did. They had exchanged a massage or two in the tour bus or backstage, and each time had left Olli a little dry-mouthed somehow, to hear Aleksi's satisfied moans or to have Aleksi's fingers graze over his shoulder blades all too gently for it to be called a massage. It's nothing, Olli would say to himself in those moments. I've got this under control.

(Already then he had known it wasn't quite how things were.)

There had been the subtle touches of hands during signing sessions and the light nudges of feet under the table at band dinners that had lived inside Olli's head for days after. When either of them was tired enough, they'd lie their head on the other's shoulder or lap and have their hair played with, absentmindedly, at least in Olli's case, until he'd notice Aleksi was staring up at him with what Olli identified as curiosity or questioning, as if Olli would somehow be able to explain how or why his fingers found it so easy to twirl Aleksi's locks around them. It just happened, every heart-shattering time, and Olli had no means to do anything about it.

Amazingly, some of the touches they had shared had been far too intimate for just two guys who enjoyed each other's company but had never even kissed each other before, like that time a hotel room play-wrestle had turned into grinding against each other until they had messed their pants, or when they had been bored out of their minds on a day off and helped each other release some built-up steam under their duvet (they hadn't been bothered to notify the hotel reception for having given them only one). Yet another time they had schemed against Niko in a game of hotel room roulette and celebrated their victory by sucking each other's brains off the following night, just for the heck of it, because it was fun and they both felt like it (And Other Lies Olli Told Himself at Night When He Couldn't Sleep).

They hadn't talked about it afterwards, because why would they have? Hey mate, 'twas fun having you in my mouth last night, I hope that didn't awaken anything in you, haha, anyway, whatcha wanna have for lunch today? In Olli's defence, it hadn't awaken anything in him, per se; that had happened a long time ago already, by touches that had been far more innocent and far more devastating.

Still, ever since that night, Olli had been wondering what it might feel like to have Aleksi's tongue elsewhere on him. The thought alone sent shivers through his entire body.

"You're not getting sick again, are you?" Niko asked him, and it was then Olli realised he had got too lost in his thoughts once again. "Better not make a habit out of it, catching something whenever we're touring the States."

"Nah, it's just..." Olli lost his line of thought when his eyes met Aleksi's across the lounge. The flash of his sympathetic smile before he turned back to his phone was enough to empty Olli's mind again. "I'm not getting sick. No need to worry. It's just... chilly here."

Also, I was imagining our DJ's tongue on my shoulder bone, on my navel, on my own tongue, but let's not get into too much detail about that.

"It's 27 fucking degrees outside..." Niko mumbled, but left it at that. Olli almost felt like kissing the man on the mouth for deciding not to bother him about it further; Niko, if anyone, would've fished the truth out of him eventually.

Olli resumed his useless daydreams about Aleksi's tongue, his eyes locked on Aleksi's brown flannel jacket thrown on the lounge sofa instead of the man himself, in fear of being too obvious, or maybe in fear of Aleksi looking back at him, whichever would be the worst option. At the same time, he craved for Aleksi's attention and for his gaze on him as much as he ached for Aleksi's touch, even though the last one had taken place just moments ago when Aleksi had lightly braced his hand on Olli's knee when he had passed him on his way to the back of the bus, where Olli had been losing himself in a variety of imaginary scenarios involving himself, Aleksi, and their hands all over each other's bodies. Yes, just a small touch from him, and Olli had been going dizzy with the need for more.

Maybe he was getting sick after all.

Olli closed his eyes and tried to think of something else for change, but Aleksi's mere presence was like a siren's song that kept calling him, and helplessly he dived into another reverie that would take him back to the night they had tested out a bath bomb a fan had given to Aleksi and ended up exchanging footjobs in the hotel room bath, or that morning after they had all spent the night in some Central European train station because their flight had been cancelled, and Olli had been so tired he hadn't noticed a pickpocket taking his phone out of his hand, but he had sensed Aleksi's calm breathing against his neck as they had leaned against each other on the dirty station floor. The combination of his favourite Aleksi memories and the gentle sway of the moving tour bus was like a rocking cradle lulling Olli until his muscles relaxed and his head felt heavy.

He felt a sudden warmth next to him, but by then he was too far gone to see what it was, and instead laid his head on something soft and familiar. If falling asleep came easy to him, so did clearing his mind off anything except for Aleksi and his soft fingers caressing his cheek, which was the last thought he had before he fell asleep.

~

When he next opened his eyes, he realised why Aleksi's touches had felt so real in his dream.

"Hey," Aleksi whispered at him, his face hovering above Olli's. "Slept well?"

Olli had, though his eyelids still weighed a ton each. He wondered how long he had been sleeping; the dim-lit lounge offered no clues of the passage of time.

"The others went to bed already."

"Ah."

"How's your neck? I... tried to make you more comfortable."

"Oh."

Olli hated how his sleepy brain only provided him with single-syllable answers.

"Yeah. 'Cause... that one time you got a killer headache from sleeping on the sofa without a pillow, remember?"

"Mmmh." Olli did, but he had not expected Aleksi to keep books about his physical troubles. "I mean. Thanks."

He sat up, his neck feeling no more stiff than it already had been from hours of sitting in a moving vehicle.

"Feeling alright?"

Physically, Olli may have been, but Aleksi's shoulder was pressed against his and his nose inches away from Olli's face and his poor heart skipping beats left and right at the sight of Aleksi's eyes up so close all of a sudden, so his honest answer to the question would be a matter of perspective entirely.

"Yeah, I'm good."

As good as I possibly could, after having dreamt about the warmth of your skin under my fingertips and lips, only to wake up to find your fingertips on me instead and your mouth but a spur of the moment away from mine.

"Wanna keep me company a little while? I'm not tired at all yet."

There's no force in the world that could rip me from next to you right now.

"I know I should try at least, so I'd maybe be a little less jetlagged tomorrow, but..."

And deprive me of the chance to see you adorably sleepy again, resting your chin on my shoulder and pulling me to your bunk for an early afternoon nap? No chance in hell.

"Sure," he heard himself say anyway, because of course he would.

"It's good to be back in the States again, isn't it?"

"It is," Olli just nodded, letting Aleksi do most of the speaking.

"Lots of great memories, eh?"

Tons, actually, most of them somehow related to you.

"Uh-huh."

"I mean, sometimes it's rough, of course, but it's all worth it, in the end?"

"Wouldn't change a day," Olli said, although it was only half the truth; he'd never give up the thrill of playing at new locations to rooms full of people who were about to have experience the best show of their lives, but he could've lived without the sleepless nights he had spent thinking back to Aleksi's smile over his Mountain Dew or how he could swear Aleksi had stopped to stare at Olli's mouth a little too many times to not make Olli think.

(Thinking was the worst.)

"Yeah, me neither," Aleksi agreed. His eyes did it again: glancing at Olli's lips once, twice, perhaps a third time if Olli hadn't averted his own gaze.

The silence that then followed had Olli both hoping and fearing Aleksi would mercilessly cut their late-night talk short and suggest they go to bed after all, but he was soon to find out it was in vain.

"Except for maybe that day Porko pissed himself. The bus reeked for days afterwards, eugh."

It was a small miracle no one in the bunk section began to grunt in displeasure when Olli snorted loudly at Aleksi's anecdote that hit Olli like a lightning out of the blue West Coast sky and bended him over in giggles, bonking his head on Aleksi's shoulder where it rested as his shoulders shook and his chest vibrated with laughter. He felt Aleksi's hand on his back, just staying there for some unknown purpose, but Olli was too tired and too giggly to preoccupy himself with it.

Perhaps he should have, because when he lifted his head, there was no escape: Aleksi's hand was now in the back of his neck, and Olli's nose touching the side of Aleksi's. His lungs forgot how to breathe, because his brain was no longer giving orders to the rest of his body, except for his eyes that kept travelling between Aleksi's eyes and his red, parted lips.

Their lips touched, but it wasn't quite a kiss yet; however, it was enough for Olli to understand having Aleksi's lips wrapped around his erection once upon a wild night was merely a foretaste, an omen of something that would turn his entire world upside down, or at least that's what happened to all his internal organs when their mouths finally melted against each other and Olli melted in Aleksi's gentle embrace. Their first kiss was a tender one, shy even, so light that it was barely even there, and Olli kept holding his breath in fear of scaring it away if he did something has reckless as using the bodily functions that kept him alive. The next one was a little more experimental, a shade more daring, with Aleksi's bottom lip captured by Olli. That was when Olli noticed Aleksi was probably as frightened as he was, sucking in a trembling breath when Olli let go of him.

Olli brought his hand to the side of Aleksi's neck. He felt the man's pulse under his palm, pounding as vigorously as Olli's own.

"Aleksi..." he begun, without the faintest idea of what he even wanted to say. That seemed to be just enough, however, to make Aleksi sigh before pulling Olli back in, bringing their mouth against one another, tasting him, taking him.

Olli had had Aleksi touching him in almost every way he could imagine, but he had a feeling this one might just become his favourite.

[knickknacksandallthat]

Chapter 12

“Hello, hon,” Abby smiles at him in the hallway when they arrive.  She tips her head toward the room and tells him, “He’s been waiting for you.” Kevin swallows.  “Go on,” Jeremy gently encourages him.  “We’ll join you in a few minutes.” Kevin nods.  Then he slowly walks down the hall and through the open doorway.  The moment he steps into the room, Wymack’s head turns toward him on the pillow.  “There he is.” The gruff sound of his voice instantly makes Kevin’s throat swell.  “Hey, Dad,” he chokes out, voice wobbling. 

...and that's a wrap.

[skelkankaos]

whether you wanna play myhouse.wad or just watch a video of it I do recommend going in as blindly as possible but that being said HUGE content warning for unreality. and if there's anything else that you're concerned might be in the mod that makes you uncomfortable you're welcome to ask me because I'm kind of obsessed with it right now and just want as many people as possible to enjoy it

[idontwantrobyntodie]

i will be running away to the woods now

[adel-memes]

Can I request number 6, ‘you’re making that face again…’ with Blue and/or Vio? I absolutely adore that duo, and feel they could use more bonding. I mean, if that’s alright with you, first and foremost!

The blorbos >:) ofc it's gonna be Blue AND Vio >:) though I forgot the prompt list so idk if line continued or it's hurt comfort or not but here's fluff and crack

If it is one thing to note about them is that Blue has a very specific relationship with each hero and friend.

Red and Blue are known to be glued together, wherever one goes the other is right behind him. Green and Blue are known to complete each other in a way that they are each other's strength. Even Blue and Shadow are known for something and it's their constant nagging and roughhousing.

Though Vio and Blue?

They're known for being odd. Their opinions and personalities clash in a way where neither was wrong for it. Which.. makes their agreements a horrifying experience. Blue is known to go and be around crowds, something about hating being alone despite how he barely ever talks in these gatherings. Vio could notice his awkwardness from a mile away and he scoffs every time.

If Blue was right beside the captain in a gathering with well-known nobles, Vio would be outside away from the noise. If Blue was up early in the morning doing the dishes for some damn reason, Vio would be just heading to bed after setting a mug in the sink. He enjoys cleaning, and Vio enjoys not taking responsibility- jokes. That was a joke. He is the most accountable person ever and owns up to it-

Anyway.

Point is.. they clash and balance depending on the time of day. It's either their greatest strength or worst weakness. That was their reputation and Blue liked it! He takes joy in knowing they oppose one another! It makes things interesting!

Which is why they must never ever EVER find out about this little hangout of theirs. They won't ever hear the end of it!

The hangout? Their little bookclub that consists of two individuals and an occasional cat?

Now look.. for Blue's sake, he does not want anyone outside these walls of the study room to hear about his ramblings about why these books about science and history are the best ever (except for Vio) because apparently he doesn't want to acknowledge he did a complete 180 as soon as he found a good book.

For Vio though? He doesn't really care, he would invite them but he knows Blue would die and never show up again and since he enjoys his reactions and debates, he just.. teases that he would invite someone. Just to scare him and watch him throw the book and try to scramble away. It's funny to him.

Which is what makes these hangout way way funnier to him.

"Ah.. Blue?" he starts, almost innocently except for the smug smile on his face.

Blue, who has a scowl on his face so stretched that it was almost uncanny, snaps a glare at him. Eyes blazing with fury along with his red face as he holds the book Vio chosen for him, one that is very on the nose on its genre based on the cover.

"What." he manages to get out through his clenched jaw that Vio just grins at.

Now look.. here is the issue.

Vio takes Blue to the library to return and buy books with, and on the way they agreed on the types. Blue will get one of those 'horrible annoying excuse of a romance story' that Vio recommends and Vio will pick up one of his 'oh so great scientific ground breaking discovery-' and long rambles of why his genre is better (it is not but whatever)

Except here is the thing. Vio didn't mention to him that he wants to read the book at the library until they found both books and he knows Blue won't back out at all due to his prideful front and refusal to get 'scared' of a 'stupid book with stupid people who don't even have good chemistry!' His excuse for their change of plans was that he missed the library and wanted to later wander but knew Blue was busy so it's best to have their mini meet up there.

His actual reason is because he got bored and wanted to mess with Blue's fear of being perceived but that's besides the case-

"You did not read a single page." he points out bluntly. To which Blue scoffs as he reveals the book and shows him the back cover that he was staring at. "There! That's one! I did!" he hisses in a hushed voice.

For his sake, Vio did take them to a corner spot that had few seats at. Away from the entry and people just so Blue doesn't actually run off.

Vio flips through his book, something he would be seen with and not questioned for. He had a reputation apparently that since he was 'quieter' he was one of the 'smarter' ones and while yes he won't deny it. People are mistaking his ability to adapt as being smart. The truth is that he is absolutely horrible at these things, it's his quick thinking that saves him.

But he won't let them know that. He won't mind fueling that deception and pretend. It's not really his fault if people assume things about him! He just.. doesn't confirm it! That's all!

Anyway, this makes his situation easier. Boring? Yes. But much easier since it fuels the lie that he is smart because who else would bother read about science and all?

But back to the main point! These books are boring! There's no drama! No horrible one-liners! Nothing entertaining!

Which was why he decided for a change and got Blue to stay at the library with him. If he's gonna die from boredom, might as well create some entertainment!

That's why he sits criss-crossed on the floor just in front of Blue, leaning against a shelf. Blue did almost go for the seat before seeing Vio choose the floor and joined, his excuse was that so Vio didn't feel alone though Vio noted the subtle ear twitch. Telltale signs of his attempts at lying.

Though when Blue shifted and sat with his knees to his chest and his body hunched in an uncomfortable reading position. Vio knew then that it is an attempt to hide as if he wasn't already off.

"Come on. It isn't that bad." he snickers and Blue rolls his eyes and read the synopsis in a horrified voice. His voice shaking as he gripped the book that he is almost worried he would rip it apart.

The story isn't horrible! It's a tale of a florist and a baker who had a meet-cute and filled to the brim cheesy flirts and many many puns that Vio rolled his eyes at.

He chose it for two reasons. He knows every cheesy scene will kill Blue and make him shrivel up and die right in front of him.

And the second reason is that he likes puns. His obnoxiously loud laugh at Green's puns had to be real. No one would fake laugh like that. Especially Blue.

"Vio I hate them."

"Come on it isn't that bad."

It was.

"Her name is Rosie. She's a florist. Are you kidding me."

"... Your point?" Vio asks innocently and Blue groans and tries to kick him. Vio snickers at the reaction.

Eventually, he does hear a page flip. He glances up from his book to see Blue's face, an expression so forced so strained it had to be painful as he read the chapter title.

His gaze narrows as he glances up with an unamused look.

"What?" he asks, trying to bite back his laugh.

"... the chapter title is a flower pun."

All of them were.

"I know. Funny right?" he asks on purpose, observing him.

"... No it isn't."

His ear twitchs, Vio noticed it twitch. He got what he wanted. Blue continued to read and every now and then, he would glance up to see an exaggerated look on the other. A reaction that had to be purposefully exaggerated.

Though he notices two things. One is where he does look in pain as if it pains him to read the fake dating trope with the baker and florist.

Though the other reaction.. he couldn't place his finger on it. There was a twitch on his lips, a scowl that was forced but not in a dramatic way. He pairs it with the skimming eyes and flipping of pages.

Then it slows and he would stare at it dumbfounded and reread it (he assumes?)

"Ah.. Blue?"

Blue, who seemed too focused, snaps back to reality with eyes wide like a deer in surprise. "Uh yeah? You found it interesting?" he asks instantly, referring to the science book. Ah. He forgot he had to read too... oops?

"Yes. I wanted to ask if you're alright?" he asks, this time genuinely curious over Blue's thoughts than to tease him.

"Yes I'm okay. I'm annoyed though."

His ear doesn't twitch. Hm.

"Why?"

".. I'll tell you about it later." Blue mutters before going back to reading. Vio assumes it was just to get it done.

A couple of glances again and the expression was back. This time Vio didn't wait as he points it out. "You're making that face again." he says, bluntly.

Blue jumped, closing the book though his finger was still in it as he snaps to look at him. "What face?!" he hisses.

Vio stares for a minute before spelling it out. "You're clearly having strong opinions. It isn't like you to stay quiet and not give me your thoughts on it." he says.

"Maybe cause I don't want to be heard?!"

"Unlikely. It never stopped your complaining." he retorts.

Then for a long staring match, Blue sighs in defeat as he shuffled to sit right next to him and whispers. "It's stupid. It's cute. I hate them. They're funny. Why are they taking so long to be together. Their pining is painful and I'm eating it up. Can you shut up and let me finish and pretend this never happened?!" he hisses into his ear before going back to reading.

Vio, smug as ever, grins and goes back to reading his book. "Glad you agree." he whispers back, "... But I won't let you pretend it never happened." he jokes, just to watch Blue react violently with the book getting thrown and him getting up with a 'IM LEAVING' followed by Vio running after him with a laugh, leaving the two books aside just to chase his friend.

Of course he would let him pretend this never happened.

Mostly.

Not really.

[autistic-autumn]

I began my tenure of Overseer of Gerbilgod in the year 155.

1st Granite, Early Spring, 155

I was immediately struck with the horrors! A vicious weretortoise bolting directly for the fortress entrance. My first order of business would be to take down this beast.

Just kidding! I have no clue what to do, nor do I care. Plenty of tasty dogs out there and a useless angry fisherdwarf.

As it turns out the weretortoise was almost completely useless in battle and was able to be taken out by a bunch of useless civilians with only one casualty. However it seems a bunch of dwarves were in combat and now may be infect with the curse.

Now of course I could simply expel these dwarves, but I have a more interesting idea in mind.

There was a few poets and others who I have no control over who seem to have got infected so just kind of hoping they leave.

While I prepare that there was a number of general fortress administrative businesses to attend to.

There was an unfortunate number of petitions to get through. All rejected because they sucked, except of the petition for a temple by the Order of Embracing.

With that all sorted I decided to unpause again (still 1st granite) and long behold!

Wonderful! the perfect time for a siege.

2nd Granite, Early Spring, 155

I don't know how burrows work in the new version. Those idiots better know how to move.

The goblins all seem well armored and skilled, although only totaling about 12 goblins.

3rd Granite, Early Spring, 155

Idiot fishdwarves server as good cannon fodder. We are creatures of earth and stone! Those who dare defile the good dwarven name with fishing get what they deserve.

Decided to just set the military out against them because it's a smaller siege than I anticipated and they probably will be fine.

the trap hall does seem to be doing a good job at trapping everyone but the goblins (heard rumors from a previous overseer that the hall is hostile to local dwarves).

I think it's caught a few dogs in the system.

4th Granite, Early Spring, 155

Siege seems to have been broken with only a few causalities. I think that's a success at least.

Back to the fortress business and there is a temple to build. This of course is The Order of Embracing who worship Ano, the god of fertility and love.

There is of course the rather aptly shape 'Giant Cock room', although that is currently filled with animals.

In the end I decided to go for a simply heart design on the floor below the star temple. While I'm sure there are many hilarious phallic objects I could have made for the temple of fertility and love I thought this was a better option.

There seem to be a few injured dwarves, worryingly some of the sacrifices dwarves who fought the weretortoise. Hopefully they recover before the next full moon.

26th Granite, Early Spring, 255

So it turns out there were two travellers that was infected with the weretortoise curse. Nothing I can really do at the point.

Also one of the dwarves from the hospital who was yet to leave to the sacrifice room ended up turning as well.

I'm going to remove all visitors from the fort in an attempt to remove anyone who may be infected.

Results: All the were-tortoises were quickly killed, although I am yet to check if there were any infections. I have carefully sifted through the combat logs to either expel any children bitten and get the remaining bitten dwarves into the sacrifice squad.

There is also now a tavern brawl occurring.

23rd Slate, Mid Spring, 155

Turns out there are 11 weretortoises in the fort. My best efforts to contain them all seem to have failed. The sacrafice chamber has four of them contained but preparations for the ritual are not going well.

A collection of the weretortoises. A lot seem to be in places that can be locked down and contained.

most seem to have been killed successfully however I am also too lazy to attempt to look through all the combat logs to find all instances of citizens being bitten, particularly given it proved to be unsuccessful with both one and four weretortoises.

I have simply decided to expel anyone in the vicinity of a weretortoise corpse that is also injured. I was hoping to do more interesting stuff involving sacraficing the were tortoises to forgotten beast although it seems futile. I would rather keep the fortress intact for now.

With everyone injured out of the fortress the current population is 107. Any visitors who were injured I was unable to do anything for. I was also unable to evict one of the monster hunters and the mayor. They shall be added to the sacrifice collection.

Currently anyone else injured has been locked in the hospital with the assumption that they are a weretortoise.

14th Felsite, Late Spring, 155

A new forgotten beast has appeared in the third cavern layer. I believe it is stuck in the caverns for now so hopefully it'll be fine to ignore.

There also seems to be a bit of a rotting corpse problem right now.

21st Felsite, Late Spring, 155

The weretortoise problem seems to be resolving itself, only two wild weretortoises and I have continues to expel all those that are injured. I shall continue to keep the hospital as a quarantine zone for the time being.

One of the sacrafices also went up against the burninator, although seems to have been quickly killed off.

One of the exiles seems to have returned as well. They were killed by a bunch of war dogs and attack no citizens.

Current population: 96

9th Hematite, Early Summer, 155

you know what I thought would be a great and awesome idea. Capturing the Burninator. Unfortunately all the dwarves are completely useless and didn't bother flicking the lever (probably all too busy being "upset") when needed. Anyways, this should all go well.

11th Hematite, Early Summer 155

Good news everybody!!

flying web beast!

It was even kind enough to let itself in on the first cavern layer (Right where it has access to the surface). However, if the dwarves can figure out how levers work we should be fine.

12th Hematite, Early Summer, 155

Praise be! A caravan of human traders have arrived!

also the minotaur was in a wooden cage and is running towards the tavern.

15th Hematite, Early Summer, 155

The beast has been successfully trapped, albeit in completely the wrong location. Don't know what happened to the minotaur but probably dead because people aren't complaining about it.

Unfortunately the caverns are now blocked off with an even more dangerous beast so can't even reclaim those. (There of course is a fun solution to his problem)

Current population: 51

16th Malachite, Mid Summer, 155

Metal deadly dust forgotten beast! This is the third forgotten beast this year, it seems perhaps the world doesn't want us in the caverns.

19th Malachite, Mid Summer, 155

It is too my horror to discover the third caverns were in fact, not sealed.

1st Galena, Late Summer, 155

I believe I have captured the beast in the room opposite the other beast. I have simply locked the doors, likely ineffective solution but no dwarves are available to place walls in.

Currently there are 11 dwarves remaining: 1 Weretortoise mayor, 9 badly wounded, unconscious, rotting dwarfs and a monster hunter who is convinced he is socializing in the oily chestnuts.

6th Galena, Late Summer, 155

I have moved all the dwarves to the old hospital, where the weretortoise mayor was residing. I have him recovering the patients and attempting to treat them. However with the curse I am going to have to prepare carefully and isolate him away during the full moon.

15th Limestone, Early Autumn, 155

The Dwarven merchants have arrived, although I have no plans to trade. The populations is down to seven citizens now, three of whom can't do labour as they aren't full citizens. The weretortoise mayor and another dwarf are currently attempting to keep the remaining hospitalized dwarves alive. Unfortunately a few have died of starvation or dehydration as there is enough dwarves to tend to everyones wounds.

20th Limestone, Early Autumn, 155

None of the remain dwarves in the hospital survived. The fortress currently contains two functional dwarves and three monster hunters.

21st Sandstone, Mid Autumn, 155

A new hope appears on the horizon. With that the population is up to 13. Hopefully the fort can begin to be tidied up.

28th Sandstone, Mid Autumn, 155

Fourth Forgotten Beast for the year. This one has direct access to the fortress through the third cavern layer, although there appears to be a door I might be able to seal to keep it out.

23rd Opal, Mid Winter, 155

Progress in the fortress has been much slower. The population is at 20, however many of these are poets, musicians and monster hunters who have requested residency. As such there is only a small number of dwarves able to do labour.

Saying that the temple from earlier in the year has been finished, and while anyone part of the Order of Embracing has since left the fortress, it still stands as a grand temple for all those that wish to worship Amo.

1st Obsidian, Late Winter, 155

Concerning news. One of the new migrants must have been a vampire and has killed the manager, one of the only two surviving dwarfs from from the earlier attacks. I has a strong suspicion on a dwarf named Domas given they have a vast amount of skills, including one or two legendary skills. They also happen to be almost 160 years old. Given there are many possible suspects I had decided to just simply evict this guy rather than try conduct and investigation.

11th Obsidian, Late Winter, 155

A final Forgotten Beast appears before the end of the year. Makes a total of five in one year. This one is stuck in the third cavern layer where it can fight it out with the eight-legged Dimetrodon.

28th Obsidian, Later Winter, 155

That concludes my time as overseer of Gerbilgod. Overall probably a general success with only minor grievances throughout. I am somewhat confused as to how powerful doors appear to be in the steam release. I recall a locked not being enough to stop a werecreature or forgotten beast but they seem to be enough in this version.

The fortress still needs tidying and the catacombs need to be expanded. The mayor is still the Werebeast and remains his office during the full moons to avoid him attacking anyone. There is still the webbed beast in the cavern layer that could theocratically be captured but I didn't dare attempt. The lever and bridge system is place from the attempts to capture the Burninator.

As for naming my dwarf I chose the new fortress manager. She also happens to be the bookkeeper, broker and chief medical dwarf as there weren't many with any skills in the fortress.

[sualne]

been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.

(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)

and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.

(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).

Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.

But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.

Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.

This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.

And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.

[harperaccount]

Headcanons people!

[mangoisms]

ok i did it 👍 proofed and ready for posting. now perhaps i can work on rof…

[drowsystarlight]

Greetings! i made something. Spoilers for ZR Season 2, mission 31: Hello. I felt a lot of things and decided to weaponize it for my own catharsis. Okay bye now

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[moongothic]

So I wrote this god forsaken post the other day because of the Crocodad brainworms, hoping doing so would clear my mind, but no, appearently I wasn't done, there's more shit I need to yell about, so here we go, Crocodile Specution Part 2

Not me coming back to this post a day later with an edit because I realized that not only is that SBS quote mistranslated, but it straight up debunks Crocodad from ever being plausible

I went and double checked how Oda had phrased his answer (in Japanese, SBS from Vol 78, page 86) to the SBS question and he explicitly stated that Crocodile became a Shichibukai in the first half of his 20s ("20代前半で", literally "first half of his 20s" and not mid-20s as the OPWikia fantranslation claims), and canonically, he would've been 27 when Luffy was born. (Crocodile's 46, Luffy 19)

So the canon timeline makes Crocodad just straight up impossible, unless he somehow still got pregnant after transitioning and managed to hide that while a Shichibukai, because the theory assumes that Crocodile's secret is that he's stealth trans. And I mean, I guess it's possible he could've transitioned years after becoming a Shichibukai, but there is no fucking way in a million years that he could've kept that a secret, and based on the interaction he has with Iva-chan in Impel Down, Iva-chan seems to know something about Crocodile that he doesn't want "revealed", so then that secret can't be him being trans since it wouldn't be a secret and wouldn't work as actual blackmail so like??? It just doesn't work???*

I dunno man, I'm emotionally devastated, I was straight up losing my fucking mind over this theory, trying to figure out if it was actually plausible or not, and. Well, I did. I managed to debunk it. But only after getting severely emotionally attached to the idea and the sheer storytelling potential it could've had

Like trans Croco is still plausible and I will never be normal about Crocodile ever again, but. God

RIP Crocodad, you will be fondly remembered in AU fanfics

*Edit again because I can't stop thinking about this stupid asshole god fucking damnit Considdering how Iva-chan talked to Kuma about him becoming a Shichibukai (at Marineford) I feel it'd be unlikely and would make little sense for Dragon want to be at all affiliated with a pirate "government dog", even in secret. But also. Hypothetically:

Crocodile could've moonlighted as a Revolutionary while a Shichibukai and like tried to leak info about the Government's plans etc to the Revolutionary Army

At one point or another he would've gone no contact with the Army though (because he had a weapon of mass destruction to find and a civil war he wanted to start and Dragon would not have been cool with that), which could've just added to why Iva-chan felt the way they did about Kuma joining the Shichibukai too

If Crocodile did transition years after becoming a Shichibukai, even if that was public knowledge it kinda would make sense nobody would bring that up because at this point, whatever scandal that might've caused would've happened almost 20 whole years ago. Also we don't know how often he would've been on the news back then, all we know is that he started appearing often on the news after doing his Heroics at Alabasta 16 years ago. Hell it's plausible Crocodile only ever got his one and only bounty before getting picked for a Shichibukai, and if he didn't really do much in public to get talked about and didn't settle down anywhere specific until like 18 years ago (after transitioning specifically)... There could be people who might not have noticed that one Shichibukai suddenly becoming a man. Hell if most people aren't aware of Ivankov's abilities, some people might've just been like "dude must've hit puberty late" / "he was a woman? That can't be possible, you must've imagined things"

Iva-chan's wording for blackmailing Crocodile might've been less about outting him and more of a vague way for them to threaten to detransition Crocodile (just written by Oda in a way that wasn't too obvious?) ((Tho Iva totally could've just said that, regardless of if Crocodile is trans or not, the average man does not want to become a woman so the threat would still be like REAL regardless of if it was involuntary transition or detransition))

Like.

I'm adding this to get this out of my system, like yes, there is still an argument and a theoretical, vaguely plausible scenario where Crocodad could still be real. I highly fucking doubt it. Like I feel desperate and delusional just writing that out (which I am, both, absolutely, 100%), but it's still theoretically plausible, I GUESS.

But whatever genuine faith I had in the theory is still gone.

(Below is the original post, now entirely moot) (At least as far as Crocodad goes, Crocodile's behaviour is still strange in Marineford so there could be something to it, just not Crocodad (at least the way I envisioned it). So please enjoy the general speculation anyways, just ignore the Crocodad parts)

Originally I thought it'd be good enough if I just rewatched some relevant parts of OP here and there, but in the end I just absolutely caved in, went and reread most of Marineford. Mainly because I knew I was forgetting scenes and stuff, and Toei adding/changing things can easily affect a character reading. Also it was just going to be easier to go through the manga and save all of Crocodile's scenes into an image folder for easier browsing, mainly because there's so much shit that happens between those scattered scenes it can be hard to like focus on one thing (especially if you're trying to specifically FIND those scattered scenes and appearances)

Anyway, because I had completely forgotten about this somehow (I'm such a fake fan smh)

We did learn that Whitebeard kicked Crocodile's ass at some point, to the point it left him Extremely Bitter About It, and him losing to Whitebeard is known to the Government at least

And very conventiently I came across this SBS Snippet about that

"D: I have a question for Odacchi. In "The White City", chapter 762 of volume 76, during the scene where Law stabs Cora-san, I found Crocodile printed on the paper Cora-san was reading. So what was that article about? P.N. Yamamoto・Sugiyama・Hori O: Yes. I'm quite impressed you found this one~. As you've pointed out, if you look really closely, you can find Crocodile there. This was from the time when Law was 10 and Doflamingo was 25; 16 years ago from now. Crocodile was 30 at the time. Similar to Luffy, back when he was young, Crocodile's name spread across the seas with incredible momentum, but soon after he was admitted into the Shichibukai in his mid-20's, he tried to fight Whitebeard and was completely and utterly crushed by him. Though he seemingly calmed down at this point, his eyes became set on the kingdom of Alabasta, and it happened to be precisely during this time period that he was being featured in the papers as a hero who hunted down pirates. In other words, that was an article reporting the acts of heroism by Crocodile at the time!"

So I think that pretty much confirms that it was Whitebeard who broke Crocodile's dreams, maybe even being the one who took his left arm.

It's still the sheer intensity of Crocodile's reaction though that's so interesting here. Like is it just him being bitter about "some weakling" landing a hit on Whitebeard but he couldn't, or is it even because that attack came from one of Whitebeard's followers, someone Whitebeard was supposed to be able to trust? Like why is Crocodile unable to trust anyone? What happened to give him his iconic trust issues? Did he get backstabbed too, and did that sight just trigger a horrible memory in him (a cherry on top of the pre-existing bitterness), thus his wild outburst? Who knows

This does also tell us a lot about the canon timeline actually, since we know Crocodile was at Roger's execution 24 years ago, where he like many others was inspired to go out to the sea and find One Piece, just a few years before the Ohara incident (only bringing that up because as much as I want Crocodad to be real, if it requires him being a former Revolutionary even for a few years, then we need to somehow believe he got inspired with a dream but didn't act on it for some reason for five whole years because the Army didn't exist for another two years and Luffy wouldn't be born for another 3 from there) (Of course, we do know that Dragon had been the captain of a group of Freedom Fighters (as we've learned from Vegapunk's flashback), so it's not like Crocodile couldn't have been a part of the forces even before they became the Revolutionary Army, it just feels odd if he had been as we've never heard as much as a suggestion that there could be another Founding Member of the Revolutionary Army beyond Dragon, Iva-chan and Kuma) (But again, there's many ways you could explain how Crocodad could still be real despite these things. Like I mentioned in my first post. There's many potential explanations. It's just the more you need to explain it, the less plausible it feels to me (which I only care about because I want to speculate about canon, like I love me a good headcanon but I want to speculate about canon here))

After Roger's death Crocodile did some pirating for about 8 years until he "retired as a Shichibukai" in Alabasta after his asskicking (can't tell if he decided to make his base in Alabasta immidiately after his asskicking or if he wandered around for a few more years before settling down there), and he proceeded to do his adorable Pirate Hunting Heroism Thing. Which we know was meant to be just a front he put on to gain the trust from Alabasta's people and the King so nooobody would ever suspect a thing. Like good god dude was playing The Long Game

(Sidenote, if Crocodile had been a part of the Freedom Fighters and/or the Revolutionary Army, it would make sense if deep inside he wanted to like, "maintain peace" even just a little, wouldn't it? Like of course the Army and Crocodile want to yeet the World Government into the bin first and foremost, but that doesn't mean either party nececarily want to allow random pirates to just run amock and ruin people's lives. So while defending the people of Alabasta definitely became a tactic for Crocodile to gain the people's trust, I do wonder if at he might've done it sincerely for a short while?)

Of course we now know that Pluton wasn't even in Alabasta, it's all the way back in Wano, so even if Crocodile had successfully usurped the country he still wouldn't have gotten the thing (poor dude just wasted like a decade of his life for nothing lmao) But I do have to ask; how, when and where did Crocodile learn about Ancient Weapons even existing, and where did he get the idea he might find Pluton in Alabasta? Like they aren't common knowledge at all, even Dragon had been shocked when Robin confirmed the existence of Ancient Weapons to him. So where did Crocodile find out about them? Did someone tell him about them, and if so, who? Did he learn about them soon after his asskicking and immidiately went after Alabasta because of it, or did he settle down in Alabasta first simply wanting to grab the throne for himself and later learned about how he could be sitting on top of a nuclear gold mine?

Mind you, Robin didn't join Baroque Works until 6 years ago, we don't know for sure if she joined when BW was being founded or if she joined a few years into the operation, so without her it's not like Crocodile would've been able to get what he wanted. So it does feel like between Robin being the only thing who could confirm existence of Poneglyphs (and read them), and the fact that Crocodile gave out orders etc exclusively through Miss All-Sunday, I feel like Robin joining should be what allowed Baroque Works to go into full operation at all

So to recap canon timeline

24 years ago Roger dies

22 years ago Ohara burns, the Revolutionary Army is founded

19 years ago Luffy is born

16 years ago Crocodile is making a name as a hero of a Shichibukai after having his ass kicked and dreams ruined, making base in Alabasta

6 years ago Robin joins Baroque Works

I dunno I just want to keep this mind for theorizing and for headcanons. Crocodile was a pirate for 3-8 years (depending on his involvement with the Revolutionary Army and if there was any at all), and then spent about 10 years in Alabasta having fun with his casino and protecting Alabasta for questionable reasons until Baroque Works went into full motion with Robin joining

Now, back to Marineford for a bit. There's something that's bothered me a lot about what we see of Crocodile in Marineford, and that's the timeskip between Crocodile attacking Whitebeard and when we next see him.

Crocodile makes his way onto Moby Dick to attack Whitebeard the second he spots him, Luffy deflects said attack and Whitebeard's underlings get between Crocodile and Whitebeard.

The next time we see Crocodile, he's off the ship. We never see how, when or why he got off the ship, but he did.

And this I find interesting for multiple reasons. Of course, most people tend to point out that during this time Sengoku announces to everyone that Dragon is Luffy's father, and we never see Crocodile's reaction to this. Even if you put Crocodad aside, knowing Crocodile may have known Dragon due to his past with Iva-chan, the ommission of Crocodile's reaction is very suspicious, considdering all the other reactions we end up seeing (including Kuma's non-reaction, which like, in theory makes sense since Kuma did know Dragon, but also, Kuma's dead, he had no reaction, and his involvement with the Revolutionaries wasn't known yet to the readers, so having his reaction was kind of pointless???)

But then when you add Crocodile getting off Whitebeard's ship, it just gets even more suspicious

Like. I think Oda wants us to just assume that someone off-screen managed to get Crocodile to back off the ship and he's trying to get back to Whitebeard, since he's fighting off Whitebeard's underlings in that next scene on top of getting sent flying Jozu, so it is certainly plausible. Someone pushed him off and he's annoyed he can't get back to Whitebeard now there's resistance. I think that's what Oda wants us to believe is happening.

But it's this line Crocodile says here that's messing with me

Now. Problem. Translation issues. Kinda. Fantranslation on the left, official translation on the right.

I'll get into it a moment but needless to say the implications of what Crocodile says on this panel is actually kind of important, but the thing is. Like, fantranslations aren't always correct, since they are questionable fantranslations from like 10+ years ago at this point. Of course, the same can be applied to the official translations, especially when the official translations go through actual localization while the fantranslations are often far too literal to be genuinely accurate. Translation is an artform, alright, it's not at all a straight forward thing, thus neither translation here is fully reliable

And try as I might, I was not able to find raw scans of this chapter (560) so I could check what Crocodile says in this panel myself. And annoyingly, I can't make out what he says in the anime either ("zuibun tou muita"???), at least not clearly enough to then try to figure out how to write it (like with what kanji) to try to retranslate it myself (plus I could be mishearing the line)

So this bit needs to be taken with a massive grain of salt, alright

But if Crocodile is actually saying they've "gotten far behind", doesn't it kind of sound like he's actively trying to chase someone?

Of course, that could be just him complaining the amount of distance that's been put between him and Whitebeard, but if so it'd be a strange way to complain considdering Whitebeard has not moved an inch-- Crocodile hasn't fallen behind chasing him, he's just been pushed away, right?

But then, he gets pushed even further away from Whitebeard by Jozu, he has his little chat with Doflamingo, yells at Whitebeard when the old man gets stabbed, then saves Ace from Execution Attempt One after having gotten close enough to do so (which is in the opposite direction of Whitebeard mind you) and finally saves Luffy

It's completely possible that Crocodile was trying to get back to Whitebeard to kill him, but between Jozu proving himself as a force to be reckoned with and Whitebeard showing himself "being weak" Crocodile gave just up, figuring getting to Whitebeard was too much effort at that moment, and that he'd get another chance later.

But he never does attempt to get closer to Whitebeard again, not that we see that at least

Instead he chases Luffy around the battlefield

So I can't help but to wonder if that line with questionable translation choises wasn't about Whitebeard but Luffy instead. Did Crocodile during that missing scene, where he hears about Luffy's father, decide to abandon Whitebeard, intentionally got off Moby Dick and backed away, only to have Whitebeard's crew chase him and Daz (since they didn't realize Crocodile was backing off)? Daz thus clearing a path for them to move towards Luffy while Crocodile was holding off the people chasing them? (We don't see when Crocodile gives Daz the orders to assist Luffy either, so he could've given those orders immidiately after he got off Moby Dick) Was Crocodile complaining not about getting further away from Whitebeard, but from falling behind on Luffy?

Moving on a little bit though, to some smaller things

It really is also strange how Crocodile spares Ace's life. Even the Government knew about his beef with Whitebeard, and considdering how Crocodile feels about both Luffy and Whitebeard, he should have no reason to try to spare Ace's life, even if he hates the Marines more.

And yeah, considdering how Luffy ruined not just his plans for usurping Alabasta but also stopped him from touching Whitebeard like less than 5 minutes ago...

...He shields Luffy from getting cut down by Mihawk. And aids Daz at the same time.

This is just absolute bizarro behaviour from Sir "I kill useless underlings for fun" Crocodile. Again, even if he doesn't want the Marines to "win", considdering how he should not be on good terms with the Revolutionary Army (regardless of if they were actually affiliated in the past or not), he should have no reason to give a flying fuck about Dragon's son, let alone the idiot who ruined his plans

Regardless of his reasoning, dude is not happy about any of this, not at all

The last thing Crocodile says at the end of this battle, was him telling Jinbei "if you want to protect something, do it right".

When Whitebeard finally dies, we do see Crocodile's reaction to it. Considdering his previous outburst, you'd think he'd have like, strong opinions about it. But doesn't he seem like he's... pre-occupied, thinking about something else???

Like, doesn't he seem kind of... distant? Detached?

Sure, maybe by this point he had kind of emotionally prepared and knew he wouldn't get his vengeance on Whitebeard and missed his opportunity. But if so, wouldn't he have a bit more of an, I dunno, an annoyed, pissed off expression?? Instead of that?? (Also minor addition, but it is kind of interesting that of all these reactions, Crocodile seems to be the only one facing to the right, Doflamingo facing kind of straight ahead at a slight angle aside. Because you could like, see it as a sign that while everyone else is focusing on Whitebeard (looking to the left), Crocodile has already "turned his back" on it and is focusing on something else. And soon enough after these panels Akainu continues his pursue of Luffy and Jinbei, a pursue which multiple people do step in to try to stop, but the last one? It's Crocodile, being the last person we see to step in to deal with Akainu ensuring Luffy and Jinbei's escape.)

Not really connected to anything but I just keep on thinking about this one panel. Mainly because when I see people bring up Crocodile reading the news about Luffy defeating Big Mom as confirmation that he's invested in Luffy, they tend to use the anime screenshot of the scene

Because yeah it does kinda look like a "proud dad reading about his son" etc. But what I'm really interested in is original the manga panel

'Cause boy howdy do they not look the same at all

Motherfucker looks like he's aged like 20 years

And I'm not sure what to make of that at all. Like. If I'm not misremembering I think this is actually the first time we saw Crocodile's face post-timeskip, so part of me wonders if Oda originally did intend to make Crocodile look considderably older from pre-timeskip and just went back on that decision later on

But, regardless of if that's the case... That's not the expression of a proud father at all, is it? Like??? I'm not even sure what to make of it, doesn't he look kind of... sad? Stressed out?? It's so strange????

Like, because don't know canonically yet what Crocodile currently thinks of Luffy, if we wanted to still believe he has a grudge against Luffy, even if he was displeased, annoyed and even jealous about Luffy pulling off a stunt he never could've, I still can't imagine THAT being his reaction to reading about it.

But if he does actually care about Luffy and is worried about what kind of trouble he's going to get into next... I dunno, would that explain that expression???

I dunno man, this panel just haunts me

And now, in the present.

Crocodile's back at it again, trying to create his Utopia, this time with Mihawk by his side (also Buggy, as their mascot). Which is an interesting choise- Crocodile justified his invitation to Mihawk based on how neither of them trusted anyone and how together they'd be less of an easy target to take down, but he did also mention that Mihawk is known as a Marine Hunter. Which. Y'know. Considdering how Crocodile feels about the Government, yeah, greatest swordsman aside it makes sense he'd want to team up with Mihawk.

But it also truly makes me wonder about where the Cross Guild plotline is supposed to go from here.

Buggy has his little moment of inspiration and realizes he wants to get One Piece and become Pirate King, but neither Mihawk nor Crocodile seem to be interested in that at all

If anything, Buggy blurting that out made poor Crocodile age like 10 years between panels from being so angy

(It's just funny because Crocodile is supposed to be 7 years older than Buggy but based on how they look in the average panel you'd think it was the reverse lmao)

Of course, his anger is understandable considdering 1) Buggy may have singlehandedly ruined Crocodile's Utopia Plans once again, this time taking even less effort than Luffy 2) That IS Crocodile's broken dream Buggy is talking about. Like, he's rubbing salt directly into Crocodile's wounds

But Crocodile still wanting to make that Utopia is so interesting, 'cause like.

He probably understands that as long as the Government exists, they will continue to try to hunt him down. Same for Mihawk, and every single pirate out there (including the Strawhats). They will never know peace until their bounties are nullified, which isn't great for Mihawk especially since he seems to yearn for a quiet life. But surely it's not the only reason Crocodile wants to destroy the Government, right

(Sidenote, did I misread or did the fucking Government just send the three remaining Seraphim to Empteebluffs to take down Cross Guild??? Like as if I wasn't curious enough about what kind of a fruit power Vegapunk gave to S-Croc considdering he can't replicate Logias, could we maybe see Crocodile fight his Seraphim? Oda please, I am dying, if that's gonna happen please I need to actually see it, don't have it happen off screen I will perish)

Like. We know Crocodile wants to destroy the Government, that's what the military force is for, that's kind of why Cross Guild came to exist and possibly part of his reasoning for inviting Mihawk

Where is this going, where are these plot threads leading? Like it would be so strange for Oda to introduce this plot thread if they're only going to get wiped the fuck out by the Seraphim, and I can't imagine Crocodile and Mihawk actually joining Buggy and trying to get One Piece first (especially if they don't have the Poneglyphs for it)(and again, that's Crocodile's broken dream, even if Buggy did somehow inspire him and reignite that flame there's no way Crocodile would do it under Buggy's name), neither should have any interest in that

Like??? Is Crocodile just going to take over the Cross Guild from Buggy and bringing them to war against the Government with the Revolutionary Army?????????????????? I mean Dragon seems to be on the move since he contacted Vegapunk??????????????

But also

Like, considdering all the shit Crocodile has done and/or attempted to do, even if they were exes (or hell, especially if they're exes), I find it hard to imagine Dragon would just welcome Crocodile and Cross Guild into the Army with open arms.

Or maybe they would because they'll need all the help they can get?? And having the greatest swordman in the world on their side against the Government would be extremely useful, would it not???

If Crocodad real, it would make for one hell of a reunion though and I'd be dying to know how Luffy would feel the stupid alligator meeting his dad. (Robin too, I'd love to see her reaction)

Although, considdering Luffy is going to be escorting Vegapunk to Elbaf (at least that's the plan rn), and if Dragon is on the move, and if Cross Guild has three Seraphim on their asses and one clownish ship ready for them... Might they all meet in Elbaf????????????? Thing is I don't think Luffy would want to pause his adventure to help his dad take down the government mind you, but also, Vivi is in trouble and he did want to go save her????????

I just

Where the fuck is any of this going Oda

Is Crocodad real

If so, what the fuck is going to happen next

(Just whatever the fuck it is, Oda, please don't make it stupid and transphobic, please, for the love of god)

(Also I literally just found out about this panel from a short Red promo Oda drew and I swear to god if that's supposed to be Luffy and his mom I will fucking cry)

(Like do not fucking tell me I have been loosing my god damn mind over Crocodad for the past two weeks only to find out I missed this page because I didn't give a shit about RED when it first came out)