#the more you think about it the queerer you can make it

[ltlemon]

thinking about how if tsubomi accepted mob’s confession for whatever reason, how utterly Shit it would go. the world’s most autistic aroace boy and the school popular girl are like so doomed to crash and burn and it would be Incredibly fun to watch.

first off, mob really doesn’t have a crush on her.

he knows her from kindergarten and they’ve rarely spoken since-they might’ve counted as friends before, but now they’re much closer to just acquaintances. fact is, he doesn’t know her. he’s interpreting these feelings of adoration, nostalgia, and a desire to reconnect, as what’s entailed for a romantic crush. he likes a girl, she’s pretty and popular, so this must mean he likes her.

tsubomi is the shape of a person. she’s an ideal to adore, a fantasy to think towards, but she’s not a part of a real grounded relationship, nor is he ever setting her up to be.

don’t get me wrong here! he definitely likes her well enough, and maybe thinks she’s beautiful, in an aesthetic sense, but he doesn’t really ever involve himself in those feelings. they’re very analytical, they’re treated not as reasons he loves her, but just as…things. when mezato asked him “what exactly do you like about her”, he seemed genuinely shocked, like he’d never really thought about it. he stood there and tried to think about something that he loved about specifically her, some reason or some sign that he was in love, and there was nothing. all he could say was that she respected him.

so anyways. what i’m getting to with this, is that i honestly don’t think mob planned any further ahead than just…”confess”.

she’s the ideal crush, this far away idea of the girl he should like, and she doesn’t exist outside of that. since there isn’t anything deeper, if she accepted him…??? GOD.

i actually don’t think he’d know where to go from there. he didn’t plan that far ahead, even though she was the goal, this carrot on a stick the whole time.

there’d be so many weird attempts at dates and outings, they’d do “couple things” but neither really knows the other enough to know what they like, or how to talk to each other, especially with the sudden change in relationship.

mob never thought to bring her flowers or a gift until teru told him that was a thing couples usually do. so following that, he’d probably mainly instigate things in that same sort of “well, this is what couples do” sort of way. adhering to the societal expectations of how you should act when you get the girl. their relationship would be empty and forced, dragging each other along… and i just think it’s interesting because. that would be the standard ending right? boy gets a crush, works really hard on himself, musters up the courage to confess, then they get together and it’s great and everyone’s happy forever!!!

but one of the main messages of the whole show is literally “we’re all living our own lives, and we have to be ourselves despite it all.”, and having the classic guy meets girl ending specifically and loudly not click with who mob is as a person is a Very Interesting Choice. dating tsubomi, while also obviously not what she would ever choose, would also crash and burn for mob. him ending up with her would mean not being himself, and that’s basically textual. mob’s happy ending is literally accepting his emotions and walking away smiling at rejection. if that’s not so incredibly aroace of him i don’t know what is. 🎉

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 2

I have no idea what I am doing with this space each week. Am I thinking thoughts? Am I recapping the episode? Am I getting anxiety that I'll have to be more selective with the images I use since I'm only allowed thirty yet every second of this show is color-coded? Am I lusting after Pin and my girl Prik? All of the above?! Once again, I have no idea, so let me just get this post started at the beginning with Pin being the saddest Pink Person and cutting all the mangoes within 50 miles because her girlfriend is leaving.

The Blue Beauty Anin sends her loyal and trusty sidekick Prik to keep her girlfriend company while she is busy preparing for her move.

Because she knows no mangoes are safe and apparently papayas too! And while we get a flashback, we see that Pin is wearing blue ribbons in her hair because even if she can't put words to it, she's been in love with her Blue Beauty for a long time.

Probably before she even knew the word "love"

So while Anin is busy making arrangements with her color-coded brother,

Pin is haunting the halls already grieving her loss

Refusing to acknowledge that Anin is leaving (same girl, same)

Losing her appetite (and will to live), which her color-coded mother picks up on

And crushing Prik's spirit with the realization that Anin will be abroad for SEVEN DAMN YEARS!

Basically, Pin is in her sad girl era as she holds Anin's handkerchief and cries into her pillow.

But thankfully Prik acts like a ghost and snitches to her Blue Beauty Boss that their Pink Person is turning into Britney Spear's 2000 classic "Lucky" since "she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking 'if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?'"

So Anin, in true Blue Beauty, fashion decides to make her girl happy by making food with her and eating it . . . alone since Pin still isn't eating.

And takes up every single waking moment of Pin's time.

They even celebrate Loy Krathong together, but the mood turns sad once Pin finally vocalizes that Anin is leaving FOR SEVEN DAMN YEARS!

So it's time for Anin to leave, and she says goodbye to her color-coded girlfriend and her color-coded aunt.

Oh, and her color-coded brothers!

But she immediately gets to writing her girl because if a letter is late, according to Prik, Pin is painting her nails black and listening to My Chemical Romance's "Ghost of You" on repeat until the letter arrives. Same girl, same.

However, Pin can read between the lines, and even though Anin is saying she is happy and writing about other friends (Anin knows other women?! Not in this sapphic love story she don't!),

Pin knows Anin is not happy and can see the teardrops on the letter as clear as day because they are the same album, but different songs. Alexa, play My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay"!

Fuck it! Just play all of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge! I'M in my emo feels!

But their SEVEN DAMN YEAR separation is coming to in end which we can tell because their hairstyles have changed, and our Blue Beauty has a plan up her sleeve!

Sidenote: The snow globe on her desk has one character in green and blue and the other is in red and pink. It's them!

But back to the plan! Now that Anin is graduating, she triple-checks with her color-coded family that the highly esteemed prince who just happens to be her dad is going to keep his promise of giving her anything she wants.

Because this bad (blue) bitch is getting the custom-made house she promised her girl! Sis secured the bag!

And Pin is proud as hell of her smarty-pants skirt (since the clothing is historical accurate?).

But as proud as she is of her, in the middle of a room filled with pink, blue, and purple (!!!!) flowers, she looks shocked to see her Blue Beauty right in front of her when the episode ends.

Anin is just full of surprises like appearing out of nowhere and coming back queerer than when she left. Good for her!

Bonus: Anin's mom is a Yellow/Orange Oddity, and I think as the girls continue to age, they will inherit more of their moms' colors into their wardrobes because of generational trauma, gender norms, and whatnot until they break against tradition and be gay do crime each other.

But either way, me and my huge emo album collection will be here doing whatever this is all season!

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info and lyrics for the songs under the cut!!

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

🫶🫶🫶

The Way I Loved You lyrics

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says, "You look beautiful tonight."

And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space

And never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother

Talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing

And I'm comfortable

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

You're so in love that you acted insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating

Intoxicating, complicated

Got away by some mistake and now

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

Whoa, whoa, oh-oh, oh

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, whoa

Never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

🫶🫶🫶

Breathe lyrics

[Taylor Swift:]

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm-mm

Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm-mm

[Taylor Swift with Colbie Caillat:]

The music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt

Every little bump in the road, I tried to swerve

But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

And nothin' we say is gonna save us from the fallout

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you but I have to

It's 2 A.M., feeling like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's 2 A.M., feeling like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry (Mmm)

I'm sorry, (Yeah, yeah) I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry (Ooh, ooh)

I'm sorry

[starly-amazing]

Well hello there, Stardust! I feel like I'm in a bit of a predicament and something tells me it's your fault｡:✧˚*:･｡

-Releases another dragon(adjacent) Loop into the wild-

I commissioned the lovely @nycroshears to draw Loop as a Rukemi; one of my OC species that I'm shoving in an AU I've been working on! An AU that started out as a scene that popped in my head when I was falling asleep of a rukemi grabbing Siffrin by the scruff and making them confess to their family...which turned into a massive AU I've been outlining for weeks now.

Rukemis as a species idea are nearing 20 years old at this point! I think it's past time I debut them in more than a few commissions thrown into the uncaring void of tumblr every few years. I'm not going to talk too much about them now; that'll be revealed in the AU itself!

Some more info about Rukemis + closeups below. (ISAT SPOILERS)

Fun facts about rukemis!

They're from a parallel Earth where the meteor that killed the dinosaurs glided past harmlessly.

They're descended from troodonts about 67-68mya who had a whack mutation that caused their front limbs to duplicate. They were very useless at first but others of the species found them SO ATTRACTIVE they ended up thriving and the wings over time evolved to be functional. So they are theropod dinosaurs, like t-rexes, velociraptors, and modern birds.

They evolved sapience not long before humans did after a smaller extinction event wiped out biodiversity in habitats adjacent to their native range.

Before they were relatively unassuming small tree-dwelling creatures similar to primates but with the bonus ability to fly. But with the new free real estate some of them branched out and rapidly evolved much larger sizes and intelligence comparable to our own. Now, they're roughly the size of small horses and stand about as tall as us when they're standing on all fours.

Now, parallel to our Earths, they exist a few hundred years more technologically "advanced" than us.

Their societal development was similar to ours at the start, including the destruction of their Earth's ecosystem, wars, oppression, and other fun things. But after ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ and ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ they managed to rise from the ashes and build a ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮.

It was after they got their collective ▮▮▮▮ together that they gained the power to travel to other parallel Earths, manipulate elements, heal wounds, and ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ their ▮▮▮▮▮ into ▮▮▮▮▮ sophonts upon ▮▮▮▮▮.

Now, many rukemis spend their lives trying to ▮▮▮▮ other ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ not ▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮ up like ▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮.

Their designs were based on ▮▮▮▮ from ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮ and originally looked like your standard middle-schooler's white wolf rainbow wings + horns OC that you can see (here), but after 20ish years of workshopping they're now their own dragon dinosaur species (and are much, much gayer). This design is the most accurate and all others in the link are older versions.

They have three main sexes that are impossible to tell apart at a glance and have a much looser and queerer relationship to "gender" and family.

They generally live in family units of 3-8 adults + their children (now, often including humans and other sophonts) and have a much more relaxed & shifting hierarchy than humans generally do.

They are nice, and soft and warm.

Enter Loop, just a normal rukemi who just wanted to live a normal life as an astronomer working to discover extraterrestrial life on other planets (because finding life on parallel Earths just wasn't cool enough for them). After an ▮▮▮▮▮▮ by a ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮, they were thrown into the world of SASASAAP and eventually runs into Loop Siffrin struggling through their time loops all alone.

Originally, I created a random rukemi to aid ISAT Siffrin through the loops and join the family after they broke free of them. But after developing it for a while I realized I had no idea what to do with Loop so I just fused the two into one and tossed them into the Start Again world to help OG Siffrin instead.

(Sorry yall, this Loop doesn't sparkle as they are made up of flesh and blood and not pure craft energy. They did get some cool "tattoos" some time before coming to SASASAAP world looking like a celestial being, though! They look like the 2nd image to Siffrin. If they had more time they might found some glitter to make a more theatrical entrance.)

Check em out @eggr0ast @starlitmeadows @chipper-smol @dasnercaret @iknowicanbutwhy @morva-doodles @malwarechips @skibblesnek

-Adds another "dragon" Loop to the pile-

[firstkanaphans]

Hii! I love your whole blog so much!

I just want to say about the recent asks and the discussions about actors not/being in closets and the reasons...I very much appreciate the insights!

It's nice if someone comes out publicly but it's such a private matter that I nobody should be coming out if they don't feel like it.

It baffles me that there are bl fans who push hetero views on real life people.

For me it's always kind of like a shimmering in the back of my head when I feel like someone might be queer.

What I wanted to say I guess is, that we communicate in hints when we're not out. It's nice to have kinda "official representation" but closeted people still find a way how to be privately proud. And I love that <3

(ps: for me first and khao are the definition of queerplatonic if you get me and even if I know literally nothing about them they still make me feel so happy about me being ace)

(pps: btw care to share what you ment by inn sarin has probably a whole ass husband? what did I miss? xD)

I really like that read on FK’s relationship! They’ve got something special for sure. And I also like your discussion about “hints.” It’s obviously more difficult with actors because we’re only seeing the parts of themselves they curate for public consumption, but queer people are generally good at finding each other. Like you said, it’s a vibe more than anything.

I know it’s a social faux pas in fandom to speculate about actors’ sexualities, but I’m not going to ignore signs when the actors are willingly giving them. And I’m certainly not going to pretend everyone is straight until proven otherwise because being straight is not the default and most of these boys don’t bother to act straight anyway.

As for Inn Sarin specifically, I’m so glad you asked because his life gives me so much queer envy. Rumors started to come out about him having a male partner during Miracle of Teddy Bear in 2022. It was a big deal at the time and most of the accounts I’ve read talk about how poorly Inn was treated by both fellow cast members and his previous management. He ended up dropping his management because of it and that’s how he came to be at GMMTV.

His partner’s name is Tie (here’s his Instagram) and although they keep their relationship very private (they hardly even take pictures alone together), it’s a good example of someone being open about their sexuality without saying it outright. He and Tie own Holiday Pastry together. They wear matching rings.

(If you start looking for Inn’s ring, you’ll notice it. He hardly ever takes it off except to film.)

Oh, and they have two children.

Despite my fears that GMMTV may be suppressing their actors’ ability to come out publicly, I do think they foster a very queer-friendly environment internally. A large portion of their staff is queer and their actors seem to be getting queerer as well, although I think that is largely due to the fact that they’re funneling their new recruits in from Project Alpha. But I feel confident that Inn wouldn’t have signed with a company that was going to kick him to the curb at the first sign of a boyfriend/fiance/husband since that’s literally why he left his previous management. We can only hope that now that same-sex marriage has been legalized, the environment will begin to change and make actors feel more comfortable sharing that part of themself if they wish to.

[tossawary]

Regarding "The Hobbit" film trilogy, even if I ended up personally disliking and resenting how much time and focus the elf characters (and others) ended up taking away from the dwarves whom I think deserved more focus as rich internal characters (I know that studio pressures are a factor in that terrible love triangle and so on), I still... vaguely appreciate the effort to create and include named female characters like Tauriel, when the book is sadly lacking in them. I think she's fine, actually. Comparatively, there are many other elements in these adaptations that I think are much, MUCH worse.

But still, if you want to add female characters to this story, the obvious answer to me seems to be to just make half the Company into dwarf women? (With similarly fancy beards and other facial hair! Because I think that's fun.) It's just... so much easier?

Do NOT come at me with that "dwarf women are rare" bullshit. Unreliable narration. Logistically unlikely. Also, if you believe that "men are the warriors and craftsmen, the women stay at home" is how dwarf society strictly functions (boring, honestly, on top of being incredibly sexist), I could argue that the Battle of Azanulbizar and other struggles probably left a significant dent in this dwarf group's male population, leaving behind many widows and mothers without children to pick up the work. The battlefields have come to and TAKEN both Erebor and Moria from the dwarves. I see no good reason why dwarf women would not have equal investment in reclaiming their home and the gold. Many of the Company are not presented to be formally trained warriors, anyway.

Now, ideally, we could do way queerer stuff in terms of both romance and gender here, but we know cowards with veto powers would not let this happen. Still, I feel like basic genderbending would have been a very doable move and is, actually, a very reasonable ask of an adaptation that would have added some depth to the story even if you didn't acknowledge the change at all.

Like, preferably, this would be an adaptational change that would be directly addressed. Maybe all of the Company appear male at first due to traveling that way (and assumptions made by humans and hobbits), then Bilbo might learn that some of the Company are dwarf women when he becomes closer to all of them. We could have a brief scene acknowledging that dwarf women are fighting these battles for their pasts and their futures too. It doesn't have to be a big thing! They can just be there. Existing. Participating.

I even think it would be fun if two of the dwarves were actually an older married couple traveling together, instead of brothers or cousins, because loving married bickering and battle couples are fun. You can have running jokes in the background about how Smaug's invasion ruined their wedding day, and going back and forth with "you never take me anywhere nice" @ each other whenever they're stuck in Goblintown or the Mirkwood dungeons. (I like seeing good marriages & partnerships in fiction and established couples going on fantasy quests together. I just think it's neat.)

But another (sillier) direction is that you could just cast some actresses in beards to play some of the dwarves, then leave the fact that some of these characters are probably dwarf women (traveling as men) as a fun detail for the audience. Bilbo is either too oblivious to notice or much too polite to bring it up at all. It's canonically compliant to the text this way!

Now, obviously some few people would have complained that Tolkien's work was being ruined by "political correctness", but they complained anyway about Tauriel (when there are MANY other bad choices in these movies), and what worthwhile arguments could they have possibly made against genderbending some of the THIRTEEN dwarves? Like, most casual fans I know cannot NAME the entire Company, who get so little character development in the book that the films had to come up with unique designs and backgrounds for most of them anyway. Bro (directed towards someone objecting to the idea of including female dwarves), be real, there's no way that you honestly cared this much about "Nori the Dwarf" before right now.

[absolutebl]

so.. my love mix up thailand fall kind of flat for me and my question is: what would you like to see gemfourth tackle next? any specific genre/existing ip? and maybe to add some spice to the question: i think fourth is a more well-rounded/evolved actor than his partner atp. if you could pair him up w any other gmmtv boy, who'd it be?

Ooo, fun question.

What G4 should do next?

They did such a great job in Moonlight Chicken I'd like it if GMMTV went a bit gritty with them next.

Here's what I really want?

That angsty actual rich boy / poor boy dynamic @heretherebedork and I have been asking for.

I'm thinking what Dangerous Romance should have been meets what My Ride was (but for younger characters). Take us back a bit, let's revisit the messy that was Make it Right and Love Sick.

I want the dynamic shifted too. By which I mean: Gemini needs to play the poor kid with a huge chip on his shoulder but a big soft heart and a great family but super stressful home life, just scraping by. You can make him brilliant or good at sports or whatever, but probably contemplating dropping out because life is hard.

Fourth can be the spoiled af sad little rich kid with horrible neglectful parents and major coming out drama. Like I mean push it. Kick him out onto the street, really fuck with us and the characters.

Could even dabble in ITSAY territory if they wanted to get queerer.

There.

That's what I want.

Fourth with a new pair

I actually kinda agree with you that he's starting to outpace Gemini, and that might be because he's been handed the more complex roll each time, or he might actually be a better actor.

Within GMMTV's stable?

Mix

No seriously, think about it. They have a great working relationship already, I would love to see Mix with a different partner too. I think they're both great versitile actors.

But can I go crazy out of the box just for fun?

What about Nanon?

Dynamic?

My best friend's older brother?

Again something more angsty?

I'm not as formed on this one. I'd have to think about it a bit more. No existing IP springs instantly to mind.

GMMTV seems to be adapting from Japan these days, what about Korea. So maybe pull one of those?

[heavensickness]

Completely random things about Disco Elysium characters that I think about

Klaasje isn't Garte's type and he is probably the only one immune to her charm (she even manages to fool Kim)

Garte never takes a step back and even yells at the Hardie Boys and mercenaries. He doesn't give a shit if he dies.

Cunoesse sleeps outside at night

Cuno used to do his homework so he is not 100% illiterate

Cuno is locked out of his house by his father (his father keeps his key) so Harry breaking into their apartment might be the only way he could get in again

Smoker in the balcony says that Harry looks like he does belong in the Homosexual Underground. He even flirts a little

Egghead dresses like a boideiro

Measurehead can't get hard for his babe which he uses some of his racist bullshit to explain

You can touch the hanged man's penis for some reason and electrochemistry even urges you to

Kim intervenes when Harry is talking to Paledriver or Joyce only out of concern for him

When Harry sees Judit he immediately remembers her as the horse faced woman because that was probably what he used to call her before his amnesia, at least in his head

Similarly, Jean uses the words middle-class, bangable and fuckable while describing Dora in a deadpan tone even though he never met her because that was probably what Harry exactly said about Dora while he was drunk. The drunks in the fishing village also confirm that Harry said a "whore" fucked him over.

Endurance and physical instrument holds Harry's repressed toxic masculinity and possible misogyny, although you can become a feminist or grow out of those thoughts throughout the game. If you don't, they will repeat thoughts about how women are whores and they are all crazy.

Both in Harry's first dream and last dream, his subconscious focuses on Dora's sexual aspects: Warmth of her mouth, between her thighs, wearing a white gown that shows her figure etc.

Kim will still like your karaoke performance even if it was a disaster and he will even defend your performance against Jean

Jules Pideu will try to encourage you if you tell him you can't do this anymore

What Judit feels for Harry is just pity

If you make a "joke" to Cuno about Kim dressing in drag Kim will think something like "YOU are the one who looks like a hooker in those promiscuous clothes"

Jean will also tell you that you look like you have 20 STDs if you are wearing something "promiscuous"

Trant used to be a drug addict and so he understands why Harry can't just quit drinking

Ruby does not actually want to hurt Harry and Kim. She even decreases the intensity of pale emitter because she feels bad for them

Evrart will say "you are NOT an ultraliberal Harry, get the fuck out of here" if Harry says that he is an ultraliberal

Kim will yell "are you stupid??" so loud that Harry will lose a health point if he says that he is a fascist

Andre is "not twenty" and he is already balding

"Pigs" lady used to take care of the Hardie boys when they were kids

Titus says "some Hardie boys are queerer than others and that's okay", looking at Glen

Glen is probably gay but he is the one who reacts the most when Harry says that Ruby likes girls

You can give the working class woman a hug

Harry can ask Joyce if she wants to fuck but she will evade it immediately, saving both of them from embarrasment

If Harry goes on a date with Lilienne, one of his skills will say that this is as far as he could go in his current state & he should be sober for more than a year for something more. Which indicates that if Harry did not keep drinking/he has recovered, he could actually pursue Lilienne and they could be something more

Kim knows that wearing anal beads in public would not make a sound

[joe-spookyy]

What is the Gay subtext between David Kissler and Jack Goodman ?

so the subtext in this one is not super overt like it is in like. reanimator. but it’s definitely there. first i’ll start with the basics. full essay under the cut.

now, the werewolf is one of the easiest classic monsters to read as queer. i mean, it’s right there. someone who walks among “normal” people, who are completely unaware that this person carries a “dark secret” that sets them apart from everyone else. i could be talking about this person’s status as a werewolf. i could also be talking about their queer identity that they choose not to disclose. the idea of living a sort of double life and hiding part of yourself is prominent in werewolf media and also in depictions and the real lives of queer people. additionally, the transformation aspect is something many trans people find easy to connect to. the point is, it’s pretty damn easy to read lycanthropy as a metaphor for queerness of any kind.

and 80s werewolves have it even queerer. just like 80s vampires, they’re a monster that spreads their disease through physical contact. a bite. a scratch. and of course. usually a lot of blood. what else was big in terms of blood in the 80s? yeah. you probably guessed it. the aids crisis! i could write a whole different essay on this but the fears that came with the aids crisis are, just like most other societal fears, reflected in the horror films of their time. here’s a snippet from the AAWIL essay book that comes with the arrow dvd release.

so, even though the aids crisis wasn’t quite around when the film was released, it still had a connection to the culture, which adds to the potential for a queer reading. and it’s quite interesting that director john landis chooses specifically to compare david’s affliction to aids. also if you want proof on this point just check out how many werewolf and vampire movies came out during the 80s and the aids crisis. it really makes you think.

okay. now we’ve covered the basics. but what is it exactly about an american werewolf in london, and more specifically, jack goodman and david kessler, that reads as queer? well. let me tell you.

first of all a little more on the aids point. david’s condition is, like aids, infectious. and it affects almost exclusively men - david only has one female victim from his first night of “carnivorous lunar activities.” and you know what else disproportionately affects men? aids. and it’s also quite interesting that his victims are predominantly men with the idea of lycanthropy as a representation of his queerness - his preference for men in his nighttime activities can certainly be read as representative of something other than being a werewolf.

now, my favorite point and the one that i find most compelling. as we know, david and jack are on a little trip when jack is killed in front of david, and jack then returns to haunt david throughout the movie to encourage him to. yknow. kill himself. so what about that is queer? i’m so glad you asked! if you pay a little extra attention, you’ll notice that every time jack shows up, it’s after david’s just had a heterosexual experience. when he appears the first time, david’s just been flirting with his nurse, alex. when he comes back, it’s right after david and alex have just had sex. in fact, jack and david have a conversation here while david is fully naked. neither of them even bat an eye about this. and finally, jack and david have their last big talk while inside a very loud and very heterosexual pornography theater. kind of odd, right? it’s almost as if something other than jack’s ghost is haunting david. he can’t shake off visions of another man while he’s with his woman? here, jack could easily serve as a reminder of david’s sexuality, and he acts to rip david from his attempts at returning to normalcy after the attack. he just keeps coming back to tell david he’s a werewolf, and if we, as above, read lycanthropy as a metaphor for queerness, it easily reads as a blatant reminder for david that he is out of the societal norm (either in his existence as a werewolf or his queerness) and can’t go back now that he knows it. so, he’s reminded of this fact every time he tries to push himself to move on and be with alex. the final scene with the two of them in the porn theater is an even bigger nod to this idea. he’s literally in a pornography theater with a naked woman massive and on the big screen and all he can focus on is the fact that jack’s there, and of course, the fact that he is indeed a werewolf - permanently different from everyone around him, and, as far as he’s been told, dangerous and not deserving of life, which is a sentiment i’m sure many queer people can say they’re familiar with.

there are a few other nods to the idea of queerness in the film. of course, they’re not taken terribly seriously or presented as anything but jokes, given that it’s an 80s horror movie made by a straight man, but they do sort of add fuel to the fire of a queer reading of this movie. most notably, when david wakes up naked in the zoo after a night of werewolfing, he just kind of runs off with the nearest unattended clothing item. this piece of clothing happens to be a long women’s coat. bright red, with fur trim. wearing nothing but that, david almost looks like he’s wearing a dress, and it certainly doesn’t make him look more masculine. as he’s waiting in line for the train to return to alex’s, we’re shown all the men staring at him with disdain, as he whistles and makes small talk like nothing at all is off. david appears perfectly comfortable in the situation - it is just the judgement of others that makes him seem out of place. the coat emasculates him, and now the people around him are reading him as queer, whereas in his typical clothes, no one would look twice. later on, in an attempt to get himself arrested, david hurls obscenities in a public park, most notably (imo), “queen elizabeth is a man! prince charles is a faggot!” queerness is the butt of the joke here, of course. but if you squint real hard you can read david as queer and just decide he’s allowed to say the f slur. cause he can reclaim.

also, the film takes an interesting route - rather than “defeating” david’s otherness, by somehow returning him to a human state and saving his life, and thus allowing him live out his days with alex, they let the werewolfism win. david ends up tragically dead, despite alex’s please and love confession. in this film, heterosexuality Doesn’t win. now, i’m not necessarily saying queerness wins. it’s not like david gets to live happily ever after with jack. however, we as the audience are fully aware this is the only way things could have gone. david’s condition was permanent (as is queerness), and there was no way to change him. no way to make him fit that societal norm. instead he goes down, just like jack did. in a way, i guess they are presumably together in the end. i don’t really know the afterlife logistics in this universe, but they’re both dead and presumably at peace and not walking the earth, since david’s death broke the curse.

so! there’s a little rundown of most of the queercoding in an american werewolf in london. it’s a bit late so forgive me if anything doesn’t make sense. i’ll take follow up questions. peace and love.

[aflo]

Not me being fandom hatecrimed and passive aggressively dog piled on THE fandumb website tumblr dot com by a dumb bitch with a cowboy url and an even dumber bitchass OP with Gigi Studio Ghibli Icon and even stupider tacky shitass tungle.hel pride badge that this self proclaimed "cunt" OP of a shitty tumblruniversitycore shit post willingly put on her blog to match and you two wanna act like you're the ones who better than me for daring to vague about Hazbin Hotel on tumblr dot com on a post that was already about some dumb fandumb discourse about a tungle.hell demon show and feeling safe enough to just tag what I was talking about because I thought that I could trust an even more basic bitch than anyone, not to try to be a fucked up little snobby bitch acting like they hold some kind of higher fandumb ground than anyone else on a post where that bitch OP with a fuckass anime icon is whining about apparently dragging her musty, crusty, ugly, greasy, McMemeShitPoster skinny Leah Michelle Gleeky (since you fave poor taste enough to actually like Supernatural That Much) Funny Tumblr Girly ass to a musty crusty Supernatural Convention that was probs just dashcon (because you know you be suckin' tumblrs whole blue veiny dick when you willingly put a tumblr badge on your blog cause you're that basic), to get willingly hatecrimed by your favorite Live Action Tumblr Blorbo TM, Mr. Jensen Fucking Under House Arrest Stubbed His Toe on Rusty Nail and Died Trying to Remove His Ankle Bracelets or Whatever...

Gurl I could never have taste that mediocre I'm sorry you ether don't eat, or don't eat anything but McDonald's cause you thought that meme was so funny.

And to think I wasn't gonna put this shit on my blog or try to add anything I just knew I was gonna get some nasty, hypocritical, passive aggressive tag typing, shitty memed up response to my addition because originally my only knee jerk response in my head when I saw this was "... Not the #Supernatural Discourse, though...Be kind to yourself.... Don't even lower yourself Sweetie ... Don't look, don't even look at them ... You know Hazbin already has a much sweeter, saner, queerer, kinder, safer fandom environment than the Death by Rusty Nail CW Show.... Just don't!"

But I did... And now I guess I can say for certain that Supernatural Fans TM are just as Mean Spirited and Crusty as their Infamous Shows ending! But It was probably like your entire personality for a while there so what more could I expect? :D

Like I'm sorry your own fandumb etiquette needs an oil can and you're obvi limegreen jelly because vivziepop fans have the power of Mara Wilson, Jinkxx Monsoon, Kesha Rose, John Waters, and probz soon Lady Gaga on our side and all you have is your anime cat icon from an overrated studio and that tacky ass tumblr badge while you forgot what it was like to have your fandom be everyone else's punching bag for a hot minute and you're feeling insecure and treating me like you must've been treated, just for adding to your post about an obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom, sharing my own obnoxious experience with an actor in a tumblr fandom. which ultimately was a harmless thing for me to share on a post on the fandumb website that means nothing ...

But it turns out having a much happier fandom experience than yours is what I get when my shows have an actually queer show runner and a bunch of queer icons doing actual queer representation, and admittedly annoying and well meaning alleys that show actual passion about their projects like I'm sorry that your taste is so poor you actually wanted to fuck Dean Wince Emotionless or were queer baited by him or whatever but I'm different, and apparently, the only Actual Cunt on this post right now is me, being brave enough to have The Nerve.

So OP, the next time you feel so holier than thou to make fun of a person on tumblr dot com talking about their experience with a show about demons, while you're also talking about your experience with a show about demons, please consider closing out the Cringe Fandumb Website we're both using right now, touch your feet to the grass, and while you're on that grass, please touch your feet to the same exact rusty nail your Precious Ankle Fuckboy did and die. :D

And if you're too lazy to do that much, at least get your little cowgirl over yonder in the tags who mumbled at me for demon fandom discoursing on your post about demon fandom discourse, to have her little Striker Helluva Boss Moment and try and track me down and assassinate me for you by feeding me cookies with rusty nails in them. Since you'd apparently like me to disappear so badly. ;)

Because I think that's the only way to get me Shut The Fuck Up Hazbin Hotel Fan TM. Us Hazbin Hotel Fans aren't gonna be shutting fuck the up anytime soon. Not sorry. ;)

Also not sorry to break it to you OP, honey.... But you know being a Supernatural fan making fun of a Hazbin Hotel fan is like you're Toby McGuire Spider-Man and I'm Tom Hardy Venom over here, right?

Same Thing. Same Concept. Almost cut from the same cloth. Only my cloth is a little bit more high quality, a little more flashy, a little more fashionable, certainly more explicitly queer fashion, and again, just a little more comfortable to be in because it's made by people who actually have a heart, soul and passion to put into their work. Too bad the people cutting your cloth didn't have a heart and neither do you or your friends now . ;) ♥ X.O

😨

[bloody-wonder]

making progress on old series

let it not be said that i can only start new series🧐

new releases:

empire of the damned by jay kristoff (book two in: empire of the vampire). i might have mentioned this one once or twice already so let's keep it brief. i loved it! even more than book one, i think. love liathe joining the main cast, love jean françois' everything, love how everyone got queerer, love the reveals at the end. very excited for the last book in this series, altho i'm a bit disappointed that it's now three books instead of five - since there are five vampire houses i wanted them to keep taking on a house in each book, with blood chastain being the final boss. very rude of kristoff to betray my vision.

the sunshine court by nora sakavic (book four in: all for the game). i don't think this spin off continuation was necessary and i didn't particularly enjoy it but i'm glad jean stans now have their own sacred text. my biggest fear was that nora would retcon something about the og trilogy and that didn't happen so i can just keep living in peace while mostly ignoring tsc fan content. more thoughts on why i didn't vibe with tsc in these posts.

mislaid in parts half-known by seanan mcguire (book nine in: wayward children). so this series consists of books focused on individual wayward children as well as of ensemble books which are usually weaker and this particular novella unfortunately belongs to the latter category. i still liked it fine and it was a quick read but tbh i'm ready for this series to wrap up so i hope goodreads isn't lying about the next book being the final installment.

fence vol. 6: redemption by cs pacat & johanna the mad. i rated it five stars but ngl i have no memory of what happened in this volume altho i read it in february😅 i like this series overall but i feel like the first few volumes were more exciting. weirdly now that the slow burn is finally starting to pay off i suddenly lose interest😕

heartstopper: volume five by alice oseman. i'm not a big fan of heartstopper in general, i think it's overhyped, but i did like this volume more than the previous ones. maybe i'm biased bc it features tori coming out as ace which prompted me to pick up solitaire which i loved and so it retroactively cast a more favorable light on the graphic novel. looking forward to reading the last volume bc i like finishing things and then i might as well read the nick and charlie novellas - at which point i will have become a person who doesn't like oseman's books all that much and yet has somehow read all but one of them🫤

mammoths at the gates and the brides of high hill by nghi vo (books four and five in: the singing hills cycle). i have only really liked the second singing hills novella so at this point it would be smart to admit that this series is simply not for me and stop reading it but. these books are so short and perfect for when you want to get through something quickly even if you know you're not likely to enjoy it. and if indeed eight stories are planned then it means i have now read more than half so i might as well complete the series🤷‍♀️ *gets shot by sunk cost fallacy police*

series i completed:

regency faerie tales by olivia atwater (read books two and three: ten thousand stitches and longshadow). love love LOVE these books!! i read half a soul last october and ten thousand stitches this january - both times when i was sick in bed and i couldn't have wished for better books to help me recover from a cold. the first one is pride & prejudice meets jonathan strange & mr norrell, the second one is a cinderella retelling, both have lovely romances and can be read as standalones. i think half a soul is fairly popular (and constantly compared to the book that shall not be named😒) but ten thousand stitches is very underappreciated. i for one think it's at least as good, if not better, than half a soul - apparently people just can't appreciate a love interest who isn't angsty and brooding😒 longshadow is a companion novel too but imo it features too many characters and concepts from the previous books so it should definitely be read last. i didn't like it as much bc i think it relies too much on the stuff we already know and love instead of giving its protagonists enough time to shine but it is queer which made me realize we don't have nearly enough queer fae books. what a disgrace🧐

noumena by lindsay ellis (read book three: apostles of mercy). so this was unfortunately mind-bogglingly boring. this type of sci fi is usually not my cup of tea and so i stay away from it but i decided to give this series a try bc it was written by lindsay ellis. the first book was entertaining enough but both sequels bored me to tears. it seems i was under a misconception that the story was gonna be about a sad girl trying to navigate a third thing type of relationship with a freaky alien but it was instead about her navigating instalovey relationships with random humans and the alien was also there sometimes. big disappointment👎

series i'm slowly working my way through:

the memoirs of lady trent by marie brennan (read books two, three and four: the tropic of serpents, the voyage of the basilisk and in the labyrinth of drakes). i read book one last december and liked it just enough to continue the series but every next book after that turned out to be amazing. follow lady trent, a 19th century dragon naturalist and adventurer, legendary as she is scandalous, as she travels through fantasy africa, oceania and arabia in search of dragons living and extinct, starts various political upheavals, makes breathtaking discoveries and finds love - a life journey she recounts as an old woman in a delightfully snarky narrative voice.

book two is my favorite so far bc it found a perfect balance of fast-paced adventurous plot on the one hand and character and relationship development on the other. i'm a bit sad that natalie left the main cast after this book - one of the only two criticisms i have of this series is that the titular lady trent remains the only important woman character. i think it wouldn't be too far-fetched to have one more woman on the team and natalie was a perfect protegée who, might i add, is also canonically ace. hate to see her leave😒

book three introduces a love interest who i at first found kinda bland but he grew on me in book four. my favorite relationship in the series however remains the one between lady trent and her trusted colleague tom wilker with whom they used to butt heads when they first met but who is now her dearest friend and longtime companion on her journeys. there are many books about romance and friendship but not so many about the utter satisfaction of having a coworker you can absolutely rely on. my prediction/wish for the last book is for wilker to turn out to be gay and find love too🤞

the other criticism i have has to do with the worldbuilding and i'll elaborate on it when i complete the series later this year.

the witcher by andrzej sapkowski (read books two and three: the time of contempt and baptism of fire). i'm enjoying this series much more than i thought i would. the key to success here is to leave behind all expectations you have from reading western epic fantasy or indeed from the witcher adaptations. this saga started as short stories and sapkowski remains a short story author first and foremost which might irritate a reader expecting a novel with a neat three act structure but which i personally found fascinating. the opening chapter of book two told from the pov of a messenger who encounters all major characters on the road, gets a death prophecy from a girl he doesn't know to be ciri and indeed dies as the chapter ends - i think that was a very creative way to reintroduce the reader to the main cast and plot essentially through the format of a short story.

another thing sapkowski does a lot is conveying everything through dialogue which, as you might know, is like bookish catnip to me lol. some dialogues are there just for the sake of dialogue, only bc the author wanted some side characters he made up to have a funny conversation. to be fair, at worst this structure becomes too meandering but i gotta say i find that chapters that are focused on mundane scenes seemingly going nowhere are more fun than plot focused chapters about sorceresses and wizards fighting or whatever. the witch trial chapter in baptism of fire - that's where it's at for me.

the thing i'm still not so sure about is the way women and women's issues are represented. very mixed feelings on what happens to milva in book three, tho i think i wouldn't be so skeptical had she not been the only woman on the main cast in that book. (cahir and regis are such fun characters with interesting motivations and stuff so ig i'm pissed that the only female character's deal has to be about that). ciri on the other hand is written very well imo and i totally did not expect her to be in a sapphic relationship. sure hope nothing bad happens to her gf🥲

vorkosigan saga by lois mcmaster bujold (read books one, two and four (??): shards of honor, barrayar and the vor game). so after reading the warrior's apprentice and the mountains of mourning last year i took a step back and read cordelia's books which i unfortunately didn't like. cordelia is a type of female character i don't vibe with and the gender themes in her books, while likely very progressive for their time, often made me roll my eyes, grind my teeth etc. in my goodreads reviews i explain my issues in more detail. the ethical implications of uterine replicators haunt me still😕

returning to miles in the vor game was both welcome and disappointing bc i keep expecting more from this man and he keeps falling short of my grand lymondesque expectations. in this book in particular i was immediately hooked on the arctic base plot only for it to be cut short bc this is a space opera and miles needs to go do pew pew pew in space, just like in book one. boo. now that i know weatherman was formerly a short story bujold later incorporated into the vor game i think it's curious that i seem to like miles a lot in short stories and novellas (the mountains of mourning remains my favorite) but am underwhelmed by the full length novel miles.

i will say however that now i have sufficiently adjusted my expectations and am very motivated to find out if there is a vorkosigan book out there that i will absolutely love. so i'll keep reading a few books per year - there's something soothing about slowly working one's way through a very long series😌

the realm of the elderlings by robin hobb (read books two and three: royal assassin and assassin's quest). the farseer books are the longest and (for the most part) the most boring books i have read this year. normally i don't torture myself like this but i wanted to do it for the fool and see how his relationship with fitz develops. was it worth it? i would say yes but only bc i let myself curate my own perfect reading experience and skimmed aggressively, sometimes skipping entire chapters. and i will do it again!👿 bc i will keep reading the elderlings books to see how the one million page yaoi plays out.

the only part of the farseer trilogy i really enjoyed was the second half of assassin's quest - not just bc fitz and the fool were cute and heart-wrenching together but bc of the entire unlikely fellowship on this quest. nighteyes is my favorite which is a feat on hobb's part bc normally i don't care about animal companions or am annoyed by them. kettle is iconic, always remember to take an auld woman on a quest (or she will chase you down and join despite your protests and prevarications). i hated starling but in a series where most characters provoke zero emotions that was a welcome change. kettricken was also there. their group dynamic was delightful and i wish the entirety of this series (or at least of this last book) was this slow burn psychological character study in close proximity group dynamics. but you can't always have what you want ig🤷‍♀️

what's next:

finishing the memoirs of lady trent - only one book in the main series is left and then there's also a spin off about her granddaughter, i think

rereading swordspoint which i first read back in 2020 and found underwhelming but it may just have been bc captive prince was such a hard act to follow for many gay books i tried back then. i hope i will like it more now that i can meet it halfway and if it goes well i want to complete the riverside trilogy right away

sometime this fall i'm gonna read pandora and vittorio the vampire. finishing the vampire chronicles is on my bookish bucket list and now, two whole years after i reread three of them to refresh my memory, i finally feel sane and brave enough to keep working towards that goal. so wish me luck🥲

finishing joanne harris' st oswald's series which started with one of my favorite dark academia novels gentlemen and players. i read the sequel last year and liked it a lot so now i want to read the final book a narrow door which also seems like a perfect autumnal read

the new evander mills mystery comes out in october and i'd like to read it before the year ends

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[another-punk-trans-woman]

I was scrolling in notes on this post about t girls deserving better, and saw ur tags saying u were worried about giving up something of urself if u tried to be "normal". I think u deserve whatever it is that would make you the most happy. You can become normal (whatever that is to u) if u want to, or u can be gnc if u prefer that. You don't owe anyone anything, especially not tokenism or that second hand pride people feel when there is someone queerer than them in the room. We all came out of the closet to pursue our own happiness. Don't hold anything back or compromise on urself because u already left that closet, the hard part is over, now all there is to do is become You. And I think you is a pretty cool thing to be

-some trans guy

Oh, yeah that post about voice training. It's not quite that I feel I'd be betraying anything by being 'normal' (having a traditionally fem voice) it's more that I really, truly love the sound of trans womens voices, no matter what. To me, hearing that out in the wild is like a sense of kinship with a stranger, and I don't want someone else to lose that.

But in general I absolutely agree, thank anon 💜

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info and lyrics for the songs under the cut!!!

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

🫶🫶🫶

Wonderland lyrics

Flashing lights and we

Took a wrong turn, and we

Fell down a rabbit hole

You held on tight to me

'Cause nothing's as it seems

And spinning out of control

Didn't they tell us "Don't rush into things"?

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?

I felt your arms twisting around me

I should've slept with one eye open at night

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

So we went on our way

Too in love to think straight

All alone, or so it seemed

But there were strangers watching

And whispers turned to talking

And talking turned to screams, oh

Didn't they tell us "Don't rush into things"?

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire Cat smile?

Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?

I felt your arms twisting around me

It's all fun and games till somebody loses their mind

Oh, darling

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

I reached for you, but you were gone

I knew I had to go back home

You searched the world for something else

To make you feel like what we had

And in the end, in Wonderland we both went mad, oh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh (Could last forever)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (Got lost in it)

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh (Never better)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (In Wonderland)

And we pretended it could last forever (In Wonderland)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (In Wonderland)

And life was never worse but never better (In Wonderland)

🫶🫶🫶

I Know Places lyrics

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

You stand with your hand on my waistline

It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight

I can hear them whisper as we pass by

It's a bad sign, bad sign

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns

They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run

Baby, I know places we won't be found

And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places, I know places

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love

They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run

Baby, I know places we won't be found

And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places

They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run

Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love

Baby, I know places we won't be found

And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places

They take their shots, but we're bulletproof (I, I know places)

And you know for me, it's always you (Hide, I know places)

In the dead of night, your eyes so green (I, I know places)

And I know for you, it's always me (Hide, I know places)

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

[bubblekidaesthetics]

Baby gays be gayin 💚💫💖

When we first got introduced to Valentine in the Monster High universe he was just another villain. His whole spill was kinda cool tho.

Collecting the hearts of girls in love as trophies, thus making it impossible for them to ever love anyone again??? I was immediately hooked. And it was a Draculaura-centric movie too, so there was a bonus.

However it wasn't till many years later that I discovered Valentine's diary and boy did it deliver.

If that sounds kinda like the gay archetype, well, put on ur listening ears for a sec, 'cause we've got a story for you. Apparently, according to the creator of Monster High, his diary was supposed to have him come out as gay. It was a collector's item anyway. Kids wouldn't have had a chance to buy it as it was a convention-exclusive doll, but Mattel said and I quote "It is not the right time"

An extract from the original post of the creator which just goes to show how little influence they truly have over their own creations.

Well, the gay route was a no-go, so instead they had to be sneaky about it. If you read the diary, the core, the framework of the original idea is still there. Evident especially in the May 3rd entry:

"I now know that what I did - stealing love - was because I thought that's what emotional vampires were supposed to do. But it never felt quite right. I thought if I kept doing it, it would eventually feel right. Then when Draculaura called me - well, Toralei really - I thought that if I could get the heart that got away, it would change me, and everything would be fine. But I was just a real pain in the fang to everyone and made a fool of myself. So I've come to the conclusion being myself has to be easier than not being myself, right? Back then, I hated the thought of who I really was, and that conflict made me become someone who wasn't me. It's time to be true to myself, but it's scary."

Like come on!!!! How can it get queerer than that?!? He is one foot away from coming out of his coffin with glitter make up and rainbow hair!

But then the diary had to go the sneaky route. They knew they couldn't make him gay... At least directly. They had to be increeibly sneaky about that. Just then Spelldon Cauldronello steps onto the scene.

Written into the diary as a blink you'll miss it moment, Spelldon is Casta Fierce's younger brother. Up to that point there was no mention of the character in Monster High cannon. but his interaction with Valentine, well... It was short for one. But a lot was packed into that very short meeting. Keiran Valentine upon first meeting him spaces out, after which they spend some time together gettin to know each other better, ultimately ending with Valentine asking Spelldon for his number.

You'd think there'd be more, yet sadly that is where Spelldon's part in Valentines story arch stops. There was clear intent there to create a more inclusive Monster High, for which I am grateful. Despite not giving us a look at Spelldon's design, the fandom took it upon themselves to create designs and fanart, thus keeping his character alive.

The design I used in this piece actually belongs to my incredibly talented friend @i-have-serious-brainfreeze . He created this design of the nerdy Spelldon on a whim, and since then I have been utterly obsessed with it. So much so that I choose to create a fanart piece of the two bby gays.

As of now, Gen 3 made no current mention of either Valentine or Spelldon, so it's safe to say their story has been shelved for the time being. However, things are moving on the Monster High representation front. Twyla has been cannonicaly made autistic, Frankie nonbinary, and Clankie steered slowly towards a canonical romantic relationship.

If there ever is a better time to bring back Keiran Valentine, it certainly is now.

I'll be here waitin Mattel. I'll be here💖

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

61

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

[sayokou]

men cannot be lesbians. (no im not talking about GNC lesbians) no real lesbian, elder or young, is saying men can be lesbians. gender non conformity has always been apart of lesbian history, and always will be, but not men.

and here are some arguments yall lesbian "men" love:

- "read Stone Butch Blues" Stone Butch Blues was actually NOT about being a man, you read the book instead of repeating misinformation spread by others who also haven't read the book

- "leslie feinberg was a man" so close! ze wasn't a man at all. "I am female-bodied, I am a butch lesbian, a transgender lesbian-referring to me as "she/her" is appropriate, particularly in a non-trans setting in which referring to me as "he" would appear to resolve the social contradiction between my birth sex and gender expression and render my transgender expression invisible." this in no way is saying leslie identified as a man. to finish off this quote: " I like the gender neutral pronoun "ze/hir" because it makes it impossible to hold on to gender/sex/sexuality assumptions about a person you're about to meet or you've just met. And in an all trans setting, referring to me as "he/him" honors my gender expression in the same way that referring to my sister drag queens as "she/her" does." [forgive me if i used 'ze' incorrectly]

- "trans men feel safe in this space, away from xyz" and what about the lesbians who use the lesbian community as a safe space away from men? why do they have to compromise their safe space for the sake of a man?

- "trans men feel an attachment" and that's totally fine! it's okay to feel an attachment to a community you've been apart of for a long time. but there is a difference between attachment and identification. wanting to aide the lesbian community is totally fine, welcomed even! but this does not equate to identification.

- "gender is complex" as someone with a complex gender identity, i agree! but again, i am talking about men 'being' lesbians. not about gnc/gender complex lesbians.

- "it's not your business what a trans person identifies as" when it gets to said person invading my community, they make it my business. the same way it would be if a cis person claimed to be t4t

- https://africasacountry.com/2014/03/africa-has-always-been-more-queer-than-generally-acknowledged "see! it exists outside of america!"

wrong again! "Whereas the term ‘male lesbians’ is an attempt at translating the Hausa (e.g. Northern Nigerian) for ‘passive’ male partners or ‘yan kifi, who have sex with each other, ‘lesbian men’ in Namibia designate women who play the dominant ‘butch’ role in a same-sex relationship. Even though the terms ‘butch’ and ‘femme’ are not known in (Namibian) Damara culture, the various sexual practices and dress codes find some resonance in the admittedly Western butch-femme dyad." as you can see, the term 'lesbian man' is a place holder for the term 'butch' seeing as that term does not exist in those cultures, aka, lesbian 'men' are not a thing and this debate is solely american

I am in no way belittling trans people or the things the trans community has done for the LGBTQ+ community. This post is strictly saying men cannot be lesbians, again, men not gnc lesbians.