#did i make myself clear?
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hc livvy would kinda dress like a stereotypical "loser boy", meaning a not very mainstream fashion sense, like swim shorts and tank tops at the beach (although i think she may have canonically not done so?), and boxers, jorts, clothes that do not match at all, unevenly cut hair, chipped nail polish, etc. idk i always thought of her that way while reading tda, and also she grew up quite isolated and was is at the age where teens, specifically girls, try out makeup and outfits etc and didn't really have anyone to get inspired by. she'd have that style where she matches completely different clothes that either look amazing together or horrible (with a little bit of subtlety)
#did i make myself clear?#stream of consciousness#livvy blackthorn#livia blackthorn#the dark artifices#tda#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#didn't mean to offend anyone with the loser boy comment btw guys you dress however you feel most comfortable!!!have fun w your wardrobe bbg
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Mostly Hiring manager, but HR manager and PR manager too
#elden ring#elden ring varre#white mask varre#varre#white faced varre#tarnished#tarnished oc#varre x tarnished#tw; blood#suggestive#no jokes or humor this time sorry#just Varre being Varre#I know I usually stick to humor stuff but this clawed through my brain like an eldritch horror#I actually hate 5/11 Varre faces I drew here but I did my best#sometimes homeboy is gonna look like a lil gremlin and there’s nothing I can do about it#but also those other 6 /11 faces are the best I’ve ever done so I’ll take it#never been more clear to me how I unconsciously push myself to do harder things#like we got crazy hand angles with defined knuckles and fingernails#we got the upward angle face that doesn’t look like shit#we got form fitting lighting that is passable#semi accurate fabric physics#did I not give a fuck about the BG#yes#but I’m here for Varre sex appeal not rendering bricks#also misericorde magically changes scale throughout the whole comic#lmao oops#most detailed environmental lighting I’ve done too#Christ the lengths I go to for deranged fictional men#at the very least I feel like the dialogue isn’t ooc#me fighting for my life to make sure Varre looks like the same damn character between each panel
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you guys know in Megamind when Metroman dies and then Megamind is left feeling lost and confused without his nemesis ? That’s kind of what a home without Chester is like
#making myself laugh and also cry#just to be clear I loved chester despite all my jokes abt how terrible he was#I can’t say he loved me. but he did agree to not attempt to kill me 24/7 so long and I kept him fed and watered#Chester
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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I hear your “I’m so excited for tlovm season 2! It’s going to be so fun!” and I raise you “The central theme of this season is bone-deep crushing guilt and grief”
#to be clear this is NOT at all a complaint#im so ready for the emotional damage that's going to ensue aaaAAA#how will they adapt certain moments that completely altered my brian chemistry? will they make me cry just like they did in the campaign?#who fucking knows!! we’re living la vida loca in a world where nothing bad ever happens before season 2 drops#but i watched the cast interviews and everyone is like ‘haha yeah my character’s main conflict is the bone deep guilt they grapple with!’#and i’m just sitting here like 👁️👄👁️#for a moment i gaslit myself into thinking this season was just percahlia and grog and craven edge sitcom and zahra and kash smh#critical role#tlovm#the legend of vox machina#tlovm season 2#tlovm s2#lovm#legend of vox machina#vox machina#andis thought geyser
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˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ 𝓻𝔂𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶
there was an ache in my heart when i awoke in a strange, beautiful world that wasn’t my own. even as months turned to years, i still missed the familiar skies, the voice of loved ones and the home i had left behind. i wrote letters that went nowhere and whispered silent prayers that reached no one. it was like i was plucked from my own reality and placed in a world where i didn’t quite belong.
yet, as much as i longed for home, i was determined to learn in this new life. sumeru became my sanctuary and the akademiya, my solace. i learned their languages, customs, and secrets while sharing stories of the stars, landmarks, and beauty of my own world. the scholars listened, fascinated by the similarities and differences, but none more than al-haitham—a student assigned to guide me through this foreign land. he was a quiet presence. thoughtful and curious. he did not pity me.
and over time, he went from guide to peer to something more. over time, i wasn’t just seeking knowledge but also him. but what was the point? what was the point of falling for him if one day, i could just disappear—vanish back to my world, leaving him and teyvat behind? this could slip away at any moment. this might be as fleeting as a dream.
despite all reason, i still found myself loving him deeply. in a world that wasn’t my own, he had become my home.
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬: very slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers
𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒: 22.10.22 | playlist | genshinverse ryu
𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐒: modern au | season of love
#is this an intro… or a drabble…#i got carried away#did i really just isekai myself into the genshinverse?#yes#don’t laugh at me please !!!!#be kind please !!!#i loved the academic rivals to lovers thing i had going on but that backstory belongs to my oc nahla (who i had for haitham before#i decided to self ship with him)#for my s/i i found myself daydreaming about this scenario and it’s probably a bit too ambitious for genshinverse but hey#the power of fiction lets me do whatever i want!#and our dynamics still stays the same ^^ i just changed my lore. i rlly tried to keep this intro as short as possible#but i think there is something so deeply romantic about falling for someone despite there being so many barriers and crossroads#if i wasnt clear enough we meet as students! i can picture him watching me curiously from behind his book when i first enrol at the akademi#he could be pragmatic at first but over time he brings me things that remind me of my home. perhaps books that could comfort me or#asking questions to allow me to talk about it#not knowing whether or not i'll suddenly go *blip* makes every moment so precious#nothing better than finding your beacon of light in an unfamiliar place#*he* fell first *i* fell harder me thinks#because i was never going to open myself to love but did it anyway#anyway who’s even reading this far i should have like a certain emoji for people to comment if they’ve reach this point#maybe 🌎#selfships#selfship moodboard#my selfships#genshin self insert#self insert
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#elena of avalor#beauty and the beast#batbedit#disneyedit#eoa edit#belle x beast#estebalena#kinda but also not kinda#I think a lot about the fact that it's been confirmed that this is an intentional homage#like EoA series supervising director Elliot M. Bour was just like casually bringing BATB into things as an Easter egg#since it was his first job in animation#and like don't get me wrong; I LOVE that he did this. I just don't know how he expected anyone (i.e. me) to be normal about it afterwards#once you've introduced BATB; it ceases to be a fun and casual reference and just makes the literature major girlies go feral#i thought this was gonna be a quick and easy little project but it wasn't#the parallels are all there but they're in slightly different order in EoA than the original and the pacing for each reference is differen#so i had to determine which ones I needed to skip frames for and which ones to use all the frames#and then try to figure out the speed from there#the coronation day scenes were very hard to color because the grey skies and muted filter kind of whitewash the characters#like you don't even understand i added so MUCH vibrance and saturation to the 4th and 5th gifs but elena's skin still is just gray#and the coloring is still just a very very mixed bag#also i've realized that while I don't think it was an intentional reference in the same way BATB was#anna's sacrifice and resurrection from frozen is perhaps just as --if not more-- a clear parallel to the coronation day scene than BATB#so maybe I will do that one someday too?#once i psych myself up again to try coloring coronation day again#which i imagine will be awhile#these do not look like the same scene and pretty much the same scene at all even if i tried to use the same psd when i could#and edit them to make the coloring as close as i could
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So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.
That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.
See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.
Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.
Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.
Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.
However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.
Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.
But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.
That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.
And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.
And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:
- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.
- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.
- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.
(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)
- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.
- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.
- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.
- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.
- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.
- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.
... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.
How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.
Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.
Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.
So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.
... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.
#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#gale hawthorne#it took me over a decade but I finally bit the bullet and decided to talk about this series#I love it so much#there's so much more I could say I had to hold myself back#like how BOTH Gale and Peeta are never fully gone even tho most people only focus on Peeta#But Gale knew what he did was wrong#It's not as clear bc he's not a pov character and katniss is too tired to try and read him but#prim's death touched him#he didn't brush it off he didnt see it as justified bc at least now its over#regardless of his reasons he still has enough sense of self to realize this#unlike y'know. characters like coriolanus who makes up so many excuses for what he did#including indirectly killing the character who is the personification of innocence and hope#like prim was#(side note I dont think any of the tbosas characters are direct parallels to the thg ones)#(theres little bits of katniss peeta AND gale in characters like snow)#(bc they're all representative of indignation and anger / compassion / fear and the need to feel safe)#(which every human being in the world has - even that bastard)#(he just chooses a different path)#(tbosas is very good btw)#(y'all should read it before the movie makes it about romance like I'm terrified it will)#ps if anyone knows how to put a read more on mobile can you let me know thx ily
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(Part 1) maybe the two of them have something in common. i doubt it'd be easy to see, though
dialogue under the cut:
Ishmael: Great. Ok. Fine. As though we needed anything else to go wrong today. Caption: It's raining.
Quixote: Ah! Mine comrade! Allow me to shield thee from this most drenching of downpours! Hong Lu: How ingenious...! It won't drip too much on me, will it? Quixote: ..... Ishmael: Well, whatever. Rain won't affect our mission in any meaningful way. We should just continue onwards. Ishmael: Let's get—
(offscreen) Meursault: Peheh
(offscreen) Meursault: Ha ha ha.
Meursault: Hahahaha.
Hong Lu: ...Huh? Heheh.
Sinclair: Meursault... is everything alright?
Meursault: ...
Hong Lu: ... Ah~. Hong Lu: So that's what it is. I see now.
#limbus company#projmoon#comic#meursault lcb#hong lu lcb#don quixote#ishmael lcb#rodion lcb#sinclair lcb#not sure why i decided to have that assortment of characters for this but it simultaneously helped and complicated the framing#we don't get to see silly don quite yet but she's gonna be here .#there was a beginninger part too but i figured it'd be more expedient + easier on myself to start where i did#comics#my art#mango's art#trying very hard not to voice my thoughts partially because i can't & partially cuz i want the idea to stand on its own#this is hong lu x meursault. to make this clear#WOE! Wet Cats be upon ye!
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc
#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people#I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I#need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself#That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings#And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends#But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc#I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting#Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there#And I think that’s what I need#I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for#One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually.#Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule#I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week#And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much#But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now .#Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com
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The daycare kids have taught Sun about a certain Tumblr holiday and the attendant has made a plan to celebrate.
Bonus Doodles:
Process below cut (also check the image description for a transcript of the sticky notes and blueprint)
A photo of the actual blueprint and sticky notes made for this drawing, the concept for the cardboard dagger and the paper I used to brainstorm Sun and Moon's written conversation.
Random process tidbits:
The blueprint was drawn on actual construction paper leftover from when I was a little kid.
The dagger is based on the coins Brutus had minted to commemorate the event.
I made 5 oopsie sticky notes when writing out the back and forth notes between the duo, such as the very first one where I accidentally used blue to write out all of Sun's message.
Sun writes in cursive as a nod to the animatronic's theater days. I imagine this dramatic bot was either programmed with or developed fancy handwriting for signing autographs.
I originally wanted to draw parts of the digital drawing in different styles to make this even more collage-like.
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#fnaf moon#moondrop#dca fandom#ides of march#*dumps this here over a month late*#I lost motivation after missing the deadline but recently forced myself to finish this to help clear out part of my wip pile#continuing the trend of trying new techniques and styles this is a mixed media piece with colored pencils and digital art#even though I'm not 100% happy with how the final piece turned out I did enjoy making the irl blueprint & bonus doodles & table graffiti#shout-out to Snails for encouraging me and making sure I didn't outright give up on this piece during my many many attempts to finish it
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Claudia Appreciation Week Day 6: Womanhood & Coming of Age | @claudiadelionlac
#claudiaappreciationweek2023#iwtv 2022#interview with the vampire#ghostlygifs#this is kind of all over the place and at no point in making it did I have a super clear idea of what I was trying to do#im also not sure this actually communicates the idea of the prompt#but i made this instead of doing classwork so I can't justify to myself not posting it askdjks#rip claudia you would have loved marina and the diamonds#tw self-harm#tw blood#tw suicide
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bozo dubbed over dubbed over
#video#elevenlabs#i've been fucking obsessed with these stupid fucking elevenlabs dubbed videos#specifically a friend sent me a ytp sexer dub and i absolutely lost it (laughing)#so i wanted to try a few videos out myself to see what the site would do with them#for some reason my first thought was to use bozo dubbed over#''i... i...... i.... ah..... i hope nobody leaves'' fucking killed me#i only did like 5 videos to see what it'd end up generating but usually if the audios too clear it'll just repeat what was said#except in the ai voices that it uses#the second video i did was just bozo dubbed over again. but that version is like really evil for no reason#third video was hotel mario high quality. and it basically says what they already say but with weird annunciations and the likes#fourth video being meet the sniper. it wasnt exactly what i wanted but it did alter a few lines#the final one just being hotel mario again but lower quality. which did result in me laughing really hard#granted. all of them made me laugh really hard to some extent#for the record. i didnt do any alterations except just make it dub from english to english#i don't know if there's more you can do with it. i don't think i can make any more without making a new account#unless the limit resets every week or so
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making this post to hold myself accountable
tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments tommorow i will catch up with all my assignments
#not now bc its late and im tired#but tommorrow is a holiday (not in the sense like summer or chrismas but there arent classes even when its the middle of the school week)#so i have the time#and if it wasnt a commemorative day in my country i'd have classes anyways so its like#im not suspendint classes for myself#did i make myself clear? was that understandable?#im rambling#sorry#students#studyblr#study motivation#study#study aesthetic#study blog#studyspo#study-core-101#student#study community#studyinspo#studyblr community#school#assignments#academic assignments#academic weapon
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I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"
For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.
Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS
I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao
It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach
Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.
Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."
Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.
He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."
“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home, to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”
(Book 5, Johnston)
Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.
If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄
It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!
As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)
Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D
It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...
With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.
I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!
Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D
#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:)#I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed#by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this???#but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't#think others have considered.#And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with#that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know?#I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh”#I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the#PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice.#i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy#only to act out is...yeah.#save me morally gray circe#ask#anon#Mad rambles#tw sa#tw ptsd#tw sex assault#anti madeline miller#anti circe#essay
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