#did ALL of you think I was just trying to be quirky and different by spelling Christian with a K for funzies?

[hammerhead-jpg]

Was it ALL of you???? Did ALL of you think Kristian was pronounced the same as Christian????

[anthurak]

Something I’ve often found really compelling in Adventure Time is how The Grass Sword/Grass Demon/Fern found up becoming one of the most prominent and disturbing antagonists of the series pretty much by complete accident.

Like it’s easy to forget after Fern has become such a prominent character both in the show and fandom, but the ‘curse’ of the Grass Longsword started out and spent much of the show entirely benign. All it really did was cause the sword to stick to Finn. If anything, the sword/curse was quite beneficial to Finn, providing him with a prosthetic arm and activating on several instances to protect him. Really, the entire point of the original Blade of Grass episode was that the sword was actually pretty useful.

It was only AFTER stabbing and later merging with the Finn Sword to create Fern that the ‘curse’ started becoming actively malicious.

In hindsight, I think it’s pretty clear that while the Grass Spider/Octopus/Demon ‘curse’ entity within the Grass Sword may have been malicious, for the longest time it had no way of actually controlling or otherwise influencing Finn. The sword may have bonded to Finn’s body, but NOT to his mind, or more importantly his soul. This left Finn free to use the sword, and later even the grass-prosthetic freely without any danger or corruption from the curse.

But then Finn accidentally used it to stab the Finn Sword. As we see in Two Swords, this for the first time gave the Grass Demon/Curse direct access to a soul, the soul of the alternate Finn within the Finn Sword. A soul that it was able to corrupt and influence and ultimately merge with to create Fern.

This is one of those things that I think a lot of the fandom seems to miss: Fern isn’t some quirky doppelganger or a ‘brother’ to Finn. He is straight up a distorted, corrupted version OF Finn (the alternate iteration of him within the Finn Sword) manifested by the CURSE of the Grass Sword.

As in, basically EVERYTHING Fern does that deviates from the ‘norm’ that is Finn can be considered the work OF the curse. From more overt stuff like his tendency to ‘stab first, ask questions later’ or the times he ‘flips out’, to more subtle things like his brooding or just the fact that he has a noticeably different voice (the voice of the Grass Demon mind you), ALL of these are the product of the Curse.

And it’s this fact which makes Fern a truly tragic character. Because he was effectively doomed from the very start. Despite Fern’s attempts to do good and Finn’s and Jake’s attempts to accept him as his own person, Fern simply could not escape the curse’s influence. Because that curse was the very thing that created and maintained his physical body. It WAS his body. And this curse wanted nothing but to subvert, influence and ultimately CONTROL him for its own ends.

I think we can very easily assume that all of Fern’s failures, all his insecurities, everything that drove him to turning on Finn and trying to kill him and becoming the Green Knight in the final season, ALL of that was the result of the curse’s influence. Trying to whittle and break down Fern’s will so that it could mold him into whatever it wanted. And there was NOTHING Fern could do to stop this. Because the curse made itself a core part of what he was.

When Finn and Fern finally enter his mental world and destroy the Grass Demon in Come Along With Me, we see Fern as he truly is: simply another version of Finn who has been corrupted by the curse.

And with the Grass Demon dead, there is nothing to maintain Fern’s physical body, causing him to soon fade away. In order for this alternate Finn to be saved, he couldn’t exist as ‘Fern’.

Of course this also means that ‘Fern’ didn’t actually DIE at the end of the series. He simply reverted back to his true form: The Finn Sword.

And what I find so compelling and tragic about all this is that NONE of it had to actually happen. The Finn within the Finn Sword didn’t need to be put through all this suffering. Like it seems pretty clear that the Finn that become the Finn Sword was perfectly content being a sword. He didn’t need to be corrupted and spend the last two and half seasons being manipulated by a grass octopus demon.

Because when you think about it, ALL of this happened by accident. If Finn hadn’t lost the Finn Sword to Bandit Princess, or if he’d been able to simply avoid stabbing it with the Grass Sword during his fight with her, NONE of this would have happened. Finn would still have the Finn Sword and the Grass Sword would have likely remained benign and helpful to him. Heck, given how Finn seems to fully regain the use of the Grass Sword in his fight with Bandit Princess, he probably would have been able to duel-wield the Grass Sword and Finn Sword together.

This is really what I find to be the tragedy of Fern: That two of Finn’s greatest tools wound up becoming one of his most dangerous adversaries, and even worse that the Finn who became the Finn Sword was tortured and corrupted for no real reason, all essentially by accident.

[papillon-stories]

Go Eunhyuk x reader ꕥ General bf headcanons ꕥ

This wasn't a request, just an idea that crossed my mind. As I do it, I realize that we all need Eunhyuk. So if you're not Eunhyuk, there's no need to introduce yourself to me.

No warning, just a lot of fluff and broken English

Happy reading !

He was very confused when he realized his feelings for you. Despite his cold attitude, Eunhyuk is someone who thinks a lot.

He ended up confessing his feelings without really doing so. He showed clear signs that he had fallen in love - apparently obvious to everyone except you.

Eventually, he told you directly in an unexpected moment. You were studying, and he couldn't help but watch all the little quirky things you did without realizing it, which he loves, and then he blurted out "I love you".

It was spontaneous, and he didn't even realize it. He became a blushing mess, hiding his face with the back of his hand and looking away.

On your side, it wasn't any better. It took a few good seconds for you to realize what he had just said to you.

You were even more red than him, and you had been waiting for this moment for so long (you didn't think his feelings were mutual, so you at least wanted to stay friends).

After the confession, your relationship didn't change much because without realizing it, you were already in a pre-couple stage.

The only thing that was new for both of you was the more intimate part of your relationship.

In public, he's not a fan of PDA, but he will always touch you in one way or another, by brushing against you when you pass by, holding hands under the table, stealing a kiss when no one is looking - these are small gestures that mean a lot to him.

He loves to see you blush or be flustered when this happens and you try to act like you can handle it - he sees through you like an open book.

But in private, it's a different story. He always has his arms around you.

He's definitely he big spoon, even though he secretly loves it when his s/o takes care of him in their arms.

He loves to kiss you unexpectedly, even in private, but the difference is that he takes his time. He loves to feel close to you, and this poor boy is hungry for your love.

If you stroke his hair while his head rests on your lap, he'll melt on the spot and might even fall asleep.

Another thing he'll never admit is that he loves feeling intimate and connected with you. In those moments, he clears his mind, and nothing else matters.

One of his love languages, in addition to the small meaningful gestures and touches, is spending quality time together.

He'll always take you on spontaneous or planned dates, as long as you're together, he's winning.

He's not a big fan of pet names, but in private, he likes to call you "Babe". Overly sweet names are not really his thing.

However, he doesn't mind if you call him by cute nicknames in private. In fact, he loves it.

He's very protective of you, and he'll always keep an eye on you in situations where you're around a group of people.

He's a huge moral support and always on your side.

But if he thinks there's a situation where you acted wrongly, he'll tell you, but only in private. (capable man u.u)

He always makes you feel special and doesn't hesitate to show you that you're his priority.

Eunhyuk doesn't make a big deal out of his personal feelings, even though they are important to him, but with you, he lets his guard down.

He has told you about his childhood and stories about his father and mother.

He confides in you because he trusts you, and you should never break that trust because it's hard to earn.

He appreciates that you are a great support for him, even though he acts like everything is fine. But you know him as well as he knows you, and you know that he downplays his situation, so you'll be there for him no matter what he says because you can read it in his eyes.

You didn't really need words to understand each other.

Your ability to read each other's emotions and thoughts without having to express them explicitly is an indication of the deep bond and connection you share.

It's a testament to the trust and understanding you have built over time, and it's one of the things that makes your relationship special and strong

He always has small gestures for you, but he'll act like they're not a big deal.

For example, if you fell asleep in class due to lack of sleep, he'll go buy you an energy drink during the break and place it on your desk because "you look pitiful".

Or if they serve your favorite dessert in the cafeteria, he'll give you his portion because he "isn't hungry anymore".

Or if you forgot to do your homework, he'll never copy it as quickly as he does for you.

And if you mentioned a pair of shoes the other day, it'll be your next gift.

He'll always wait for you to finish what you're doing, and he'll never leave you alone or hanging.

These are all small things that he does for you, but they show how much he cares and how attentive he is to your needs.

He likes to walk you home after class or every date, you'll never have to walk alone.

He's very observant and listens to everything you say, but he acts like he's not really interested - you know he's actively listening.

HE'S JEALOUS! He has a hard time with his own character trait, he hates being jealous.

If he sees you talking to another guy, he won't make a big deal out of it and will let it go, even though he'll feel - against his will - a twinge of jealousy.

However, if he sees you uncomfortable or if the other guy is too insistent, he'll simply come from behind and wrap his arms around you as if nothing is wrong. "Everything okay here?" he won't wait for an answer, and he'll simply wait for the guy to get the message and leave - especially with the deadly glare he gives him.

He cherishes every little thing you give him, even if it's a ridiculous trinket or a simple lollipop.

You have matching keychains, and sometimes you like to match your shoes or clothes.

You have a piece of jewelry in common, a necklace with the first letter of each other's name.

He spoils you a lot, so if you want to invite him or pay for one of your dates, you'll have to be cunning because he's always the quickest to pay.

He loves to make his s/o happy.

He's grateful to be in a healthy relationship with you, and he hopes it will last a very long time (until death do you part...?).

In essence, Eunhyuk is a caring boyfriend who knows how to listen to you, protect you, and be a moral support.

He always encourages you in your projects (yes, he's perfect).

With time, you've learned to read between the lines in his seemingly cold attitude. He loves you, but sometimes he just doesn't know how to express it - but you know it.

You probably fell in love first, but he definitely fell harder.

Thank you for reading ღ Do you want more ?

[devildomsoup]

Would you please write the brothers reaction to mc suddenly reaching for their hand while they walk together? I think it'd be very cute ☺️

Your Hand in Mine

Genre: Fluff

Characters: The demon brothers

MC: gender neutral they/them

Type: Scenario

It was a nice Saturday morning.  Not too cold nor too warm, the perfect day for a stroll through the many Devildom streets. 

Walking side by side two figures left the House of Lamentation. The two of them were on their way to do some window shopping, sit at a cafe and what else might come to their mind. 

Today was going to be great.

𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫

Lazily strolling down the streets alongside MC was not that bad Belphegor had to admit. When Mc first suggested heading out, he was not exactly fond of the idea. Belphegor would much rather snuggle up against MC someplace quiet and just enjoy each other's embrace. But now that he was out walking with MC it turned out to be quite nice.

A small breeze ruffled Belphegor’s hair and he let out a huff of annoyance as his hair got in his eye. Removing the stray strands, he looked over at MC who had a slight skip in their step. A small smile spread across his face as he watched MC, they seemed to be in a very good mood today. 

“I was thinking we could maybe go look at the ducks if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, sure that sounds fine,” Belphegor responded.

Lately, MC had been obsessed with the Devildom equivalent of a duck. Belphegor could understand why the small creatures were truly adorable. It did not take long before MC and Belphegor arrived at a small lake filled with ducks. MC’s eyes were practically sparkling as they watched the tiny birds waddle around. A small gravel path twisted its way around the lake MC suggested following it and so they did. 

Belphegor was walking right beside MC as they made small comments about the ducks. 

Suddenly MC grabbed Belphegor by the hand with a gasp.

“Look Belphie, that one over there has ducklings,” MC said pointing at one of the ducks.

“Oh yeah, it does.”

Gently intertwining his fingers with MC, he gave their hand a tiny squeeze. It felt so nice to hold their hands and the smile on Belphegor’s face grew in size.

This walk was not bad at all. 

𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐳𝐞𝐛𝐮𝐛

Who would have thought MC would hear about a new restaurant opening before Beelzebub?

Beelzebub himself certainly had not expected it. He was quite surprised when MC said they should visit a restaurant he had never heard of. But he was not going to complain. It sounded really nice to go out and eat with MC.

The streets were not too crowded but even if they were it would be hard for MC to get lost when accompanying Beelzebub. His height and bright orange hair made him easy to spot in a crowd, so MC was not too worried about getting separated. 

The pair stopped for a moment so MC could check the map on their D.D.D. After a few moments, they were ready to walk again. Beelzebub had waited patiently every time MC had to stop and check direction. Normally it would be Beelzebub leading the way whenever it had something to do with food but today it was MC’s turn.

MC quirky pulled out their D.D.D. checking which turn they should take as they slowly reached for Beelzebub’s hand. For a moment Beelzebub was not sure if they were trying to reach for his hands because of how focused MC looked. But when their fingers greased his hand again and MC did a little grabbing motion it became clear that MC really was trying to hold Beelzebub’s hand. Stretching out his hand he let Mc garb it and slowly drag him around the corner.

“Okay we are almost there,” MC said with a smile as they continued to lead Beelzebub by the hand.

“That’s great,” Beelzebub responded.

He felt all warm inside as MC held his hand. The way they would gently tug at his hand, careful not to pull too hard, was so different. Normally people were not afraid to get a bit rough with Beelzebub because of his body build but MC held his hand with such care like he was priced glass figurine. 

MC cared about him, and it made Beelzebub extremely happy.

𝐀𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐬 

Window shopping with Asmodeus was always great. He had a keen eye for detail and was always willing to go to whatever shop Mc wanted to go to. Asmodeus is also a great companion when it comes to being nervous about trying outfits. He always knows just what to say to chase MC’s insecurities away and never pushes them to do something they do not like. Overall, Asmodeus is one of the best people to go shopping with.

MC and Asmodeus were currently sitting at a cafe taking a tiny break from walking. They had each ordered a drink and were now chit-chatting as they enjoyed it. 

“It’s so nice to spend the weekend like this from time to time,” Asmodeus hummed as he stirred his drink with his straw.

MC nodded in agreement as they sipped their drink of choice. Walking around had made the thirsty so when Asmodeus suggested taking a small break at a cadet MC had immediately agreed. 

“I’m glad that the weather is so nice today. It would have been a shame if we were stuck inside all week,” MC said, putting their now empty cup on the table.

“Me too, the rain seemed like it was never going to stop.”

Asmodeus finished his drink and got up from his chair ready to walk around again. MC copied his action and got out of their chair. As the two of them left the cafe MC grabbed Asmodeus by the hand and started to swing their intertwined hands back and forth. 

Asmodeus let out a small giggle at MC’s antics but did not pull his hand away. Normally Asmodeus tended to be the one to initiate any form of physical contact, so it almost felt special for MC to be the one to grab him by the hand.  

“Where do you want to go?” MC asked.

“Wherever you feel like going.”

As long as MC held his hand, he would be willing to go anywhere.

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐧

It was time for another cat expedition and MC would accompany Satan as he visited his fluffy little friends. 

“Let me get this right, the oldest is named Stardust and the youngest is named Missile Launcher?” MC asked.

“That’s right and the others are named Mimi, Lillia, Baby and Jet Ski.”

“You have quite a variety of names.”

As MC and Satan were walking the blond demon told MC all the names of the cats that liked to stay in the corner of the park they were going to. Satan’s naming skills were certainly something aside from the park corner cats that Satan had just named, there was also Juno, Oliver, Shark, Duck, Yume, Noodle, Mint, Rocket, Ankle Bitter, Soup, Tank, Goose, Overlord and many, many more.  

“How many cats have you named?” MC asked.

“At least a 100 and I remember all the names,” Satan answered.

MC was not even surprised that Satan would remember the names of all the cats. Hell, he could have told them that he knows the name of every single cat in the Devildom, and they would have believed it.

Going on Satan’s cat adventures was nice. He looked so happy every time he came near a cat and it warmed MC’s heart. A small smile spread across MC’s face as they thought about Satan's happy face MC could not stop themself from gently intertwining their fingers with the blond demon beside them.

Satan let out a small chuckle as he felt MC’s hand in his. He could definitely get used to it. Satan himself might not have noticed the skip he got in his step after MC took his hand, but MC did. Yet another wholesome moment to add to the list.

𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 

A pop-up cafe had opened close to R.A.D and it was a Tale of The Seven Lords pop-up cafe which of course meant Levithan had to go. But it proved to be a bit of a challenge.

Just as Leviathan was about to leave, he remembered that going to a cafe meant going to a place filled with people. The thought made him anxious. He really wanted to go but he was not sure he would be able to handle it. 

Lucky for him MC had seen his distress and offered to go with him. So now the two of them were on their jolly way to the cafe.

As they made their way to the cafe Leviathan filled MC in on all the details, he had obtained about the pop-up cafe. MC listened intently and asked questions wherever there was something they did not understand. It was such a nice feeling. Leviathan was so happy that MC not only wanted to go with him but was also willing to listen to him ramble about his interests.

The streets were getting more crowded as they got closer to their destination and Leviathan got quieter and quieter. Suddenly he did not feel like talking anymore he was beginning to regret going out. 

Leviathan’s anxious behavior did not go unnoticed.

“It’s going to be okay Levi. I’m right here with you,” MC said, taking hold of Levithan’s hand.

Leviathan gave MC’s hand a nervous squeeze as he moved closer to their side. His anxiety did not go away but having MC with him made him feel like he could make it.

MC had Levithan’s back and that made everything a bit easier.

𝐌𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧

“Crane machines are never fair. Don't beat yourself up over losing,” MC said, patting Mammon on the back.

Mammon was currently sulking over not winning the price he wanted from a crane machine. Looking over at the machine MC gave Mammon one last pat on the back before standing up. They stretched their hands over their head and walked over to the machine letting out a huff.

“Don’t worry Mammon, I will avenge you!”

Putting a Grimm in the coin slot MC was now focused on the crane swinging around inside the glass cage. They were going to get the price Mammon wanted.

“It was the little bear with the sunglasses you wanted, right?”

“Yup, the one with the sunglasses that match mine,” Mammon responded.  

“Just wait, I'll get it for you,” MC said with determination.

It took quite a few tries, but MC eventually managed to get the bear that Mammon wanted. MC walked over to Mammon with the bear held over their head in victory. Mammon gave them a big smile, standing up from where he had been sitting. 

“Here you go,” MC said happily, handing the bear to Mammon.

“You got some serious luck on your side, human,” Mammon said with a wry grin. 

Truth be told MC’s action hit Mammon right in the heart not that he was ever going to say that to MC of course. He would enjoy the moment quietly.

MC grabbed Mammon by the hand with a huge grin on their face.

“Let’s get going,” MC said.

Mammon responded with a nod. He was going to enjoy every small moment like this. MC’s hand in his made his heart beat fast and his face heat up. Hopefully, Mc did not notice. 

“Yup let’s go,” Mammon said with a small chuckle.

𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 

The streets were crowded and noisy. But MC and Lucifer were not going to let that stop them. They had something they needed to do.

It was one of those rare days where Lucifer was not buried in paperwork, and he had decided to invite MC to come along as he searched for a new cursed record. Do not tell MC that Lucifer pulled several all-nighters so he could spend the day with MC. 

“Be sure to stay close. being separated on a busy day like this will only lead to trouble,” Lucifer said firmly as he and Mc made their way through the crowded streets.

MC gave a determined nod in response, picking up their pace to match Lucifer. He had a point when he said that getting separated would be bad. It would be hard to find each other in the crowd even if they were on a phone call. Lucifer was walking with a clear destination in mind meanwhile all MC could do was follow. they honestly had no idea where the shop Lucifer was looking for was located.

The pair reached a partially crowded street. Never in their life had MC seen so many demons out and about at the same time. At least that was how it felt. It was getting harder to follow Lucifer due to how crowded it was and for a moment MC thought they had lost him. Luckily, they spotted his familiar black hair and coat.

MC grabbed Lucifer by the hand and tightly intertwined their fingers with his. Lucifer raised a brow at their action but did not say anything. But Mc could feel him give their hand a reassuring squeeze as if he was telling them not to worry.

Lucifer might have looked like his usual self but if you looked just a bit closer, you would be able to see a gentle but pleased smile.

[theplumsoldier]

feels like home

summary: you🥺love🥺each other🥺🥺😩

warnings: vulgar language, smut, breeding kink, angst, fluff (please let me know if im missing anything!!)

a/n: i love him omg hes so dad shaped

Starting out, it was a brewing crush, a sparkle between you and Joel on the job. Getting to know one another, it quickly became playful. Quirky remarks, cocky comments; that kind of thing. You began noticing your heart rate increase rapidly whenever he would speak, his voice suddenly sounding sweet and soothing, the playful shoves became lingering touches.

It was innocent, a subconscious pleasure that made the days do by. It was nice. Until it wasn't. When you realized the feelings they were way too strong for you to comprehend.

The fluttering butterflies no longer tickled, they scraped against your stomach, trying to claw their way out. Your heart rate felt alarmingly fast when in his company, which you quickly found was not good when working. It made you flinch, mistaking the faint clicks of an infected with that of your own pulse.

It resulted in a close call and a fitting rebuke from Joel, calling you out on your actions, or lack thereof.

Joel's harsh words got to you, never having heard him raise his tone at you unless it was call your name. His anger was evident but it was the disappointment seeping through his venom-laced tone that hit you like a brick wall.

Little did you know he did not react like that because of your rookie moves, nor was it because of the fact that you were putting everybody else's lives on the line while being so careless on the job.

No, it was a whole other thing, a feeling that wasn't too far from the one you were haunted by.

Nonetheless, Joel reprimanding you made you be more careful around him, the pining turning into something of a self-conscious degree.

Joel noticed your shy demeanor after that incident. He figured you would understand overtime, understand his harsh words came from a place of worry, of love. But as time passed, and you only talked to him when on the job, when necessary, there came a point where he found himself eager to confront you. He was having none of it.

It wasn't that he was going to tell you that he reacted the way he did because he was in love with you. He was simply going to check in on you, imply that there was something off with you. He substantiated his own idea by concluding it was best for the group to know whether this mien was going to keep up. That way he wouldn't have to reveal his feelings. Joel knew it was not going to be a pleasant conversation, but he just wanted your giddy self back.

He missed the funny comments, the playful touches. He missed making you smile, seeing you laugh. It was what got him through the day and lately he had found himself constantly thinking about you, dragging the days out to a point where he felt one exceeded the usual count of 24 hours.

It was an excruciating pain, feeling you were reluctant whenever he would enter the room, falling silently and making yourself small.

He looked for the right time, postponing the inevitable, to the point where another incident occurred, sending Joel over the edge.

"What the fuck, Y/N!?" barked he, following you into your room, slamming the door behind him.

"What, Joel!? What is it now?" yelled you in frustration, too beat to take anymore of his bullshit, his glares, any of it.

You justed wanted to clean up and go to sleep. It was all too much.

This time had not been much different from the last. Your train of thought had distracted you, leading to Joel saving you. Again.

It was honestly getting embarrassing at this point.

Joel's tongue wet his lips while he opgivende slumped down, taking a seat. He breathed out, calming himself and stretched his arm over the back of the couch.

"You need to get your head out of your ass before you--" said he as his eyes pierced through the back of your head, watching as you had turned your back to him, doing whatever.

"And you need to get off my back," retaliated you, swinging around and pointedly staring at him.

The way he kept his cool just sitting there on the couch while you were getting fed up struck a nerve.

His tone differed from his exterior, however, a judgemental feel to it.

"What's going on with you, huh? These past few weeks you've been reckless out there! Shit, I've already saved your ass twice this week--"

"Fuck you, Joel!" you interrupted, trying your best not to make it sound like a preschool shouting match. Well, you were the only one yelling, so perhaps that was the wrong parallel to draw. Regardless, you gave him a piece of your mind. "You know, I signed the same fucking waiver as you did! If anything happens to me, you take me out. That's the job. I never asked for you to save me so why you take that upon yourself--that's beyond me!"

Joel shook his head, biting back the grin he knew would bite him in the ass if you heard it. It was ridiculous to him, that you thought he would ever let anything happen to you.

Take you out.

He stood up, taking a step closer to you, his brows furrowed in disbelief. "Of course I'm gonna fuckin' jump in when I see ya danger! Jesus Christ, you don't even realize it's 'cause I love you, do ya?"

Oh.

That took you by surprise.

"Tell me you don't feel the same way," said he, watching as your eyes dropped, certainly thinking about what he had just said. Carefully inspecting every clue your features gave away, he stepped forward, closing the gap between you. He tipped your head, forcing your eyes to meet his. "Y/N?"

He felt himself getting nervous like a school boy revealing his crush, fearing he had fooled himself. He couldn't help but worry you hadn't put much thought into the flirting, that perhaps you were simply playing around.

He tried stepping away, to let himself think, but you quickly latched onto his arm, pulling him even closer than he was before.

"No, I..." hesitated you, trying to figure out the best way to put it. "I realized I do really like you. It's why I've been so... off, I guess. You've constantly been on my mind, and--I've been trying to figure out... what to do about it, I guess."

Your eyes were fixated on his chest, right where his shirt was unbuttoned. Your cheeks red, you felt too self-conscious to look him in the eye, fearing what you might find. It seemed no matter how many times you had fallen in love, it never got easier.

But to your surprise, you felt safe when Joel tilted your head and your eyes met. Reassured.

Shit.

The eyes really were the window to the soul, huh?

"And did you figure it out? What you wanna do about it?"

There was a certain glimpse in his eye as he asked. He had decided what he wanted to do.

Instead of replying, you pulled him into you, pressing your thirsty lips against his. It seemed the prior anger had fueled your hunger, suddenly very desperate to have him even closer.

Luckily, Joel did not mind one bit and immediately wrapped his arms around and cradled the back of your head, holding you like you might slip.

And shit the sweet, sweet taste of him made you think you just might.

His scent wrapped around you like a blanket, making you feel safe again, the feeling somehow always emitting from him, only this time tenfold. It reminded you of the sense one got when stepping into the comfort of their home after a long time away. He felt like home.

God, it felt good to be home.

While one hand rested on the back of your neck, the other began sliding down your side, feeling your curves beneath his rough fingertips.

When he steadied and squeezed your waist softly, you tugged lightly on the strands of his hair.

"Joel," whispered you breathlessly, pulling back but not enough to not still feel his breath on yours. You didn't dare let him move further away, fearing you might lose his warm touch and wake from this fever dream.

Joel hungrily bit for your lip, but you had to catch your breath. His lips were parted, tongue dancing just behind his teeth in anticipation as he muttered your name.

"Want you inside of me."

His eyes locked on yours for a second, like a predator picking out his prey, and a second later, he was all over you.

Crashing his lips against yours, he was suddenly both pulling and shoving you, a clumsy waltz in the ecstasy ballroom, determined to take you to bed and claim you as his.

Stumbling onto your bed, you were pinned to the mattress and the sheets delved around you, hugging your sides with Joel's body the perfect cover.

You wrapped your legs around him, urging him to rub his restrained cock against your clothed crotch, moaning at the feeling. Like a goddamn rock.

While making out, he continued the motion and when he finally let go of your wrists, you did not hesitate to slide your hands under his shirt, feeling his warm skin.

"Been thinking 'bout this. Can't ever stop myself from imagining how pretty you'd look, squirmin' on my fingers. Those sweet, sweet eyes begging me to tear into you, make you come around my cock."

You whined at his words.

You hadn't realized you hadn't given his pillow talk much thought. Prior expectations had only let you down, becoming disappointed in men when they didn't live of to the version of the person you had made them out to be in your head. You knew your kinks, and wanted them played out in reality and only then you realized what a match Joel evidently was.

Clawing at his shirt, he helped you pull it over his head as you began undoing his belt.

He stopped you, chuckling at your eagerness although he could barely hold himself together.

Instead he pulled up your shirt, kissing down your stomach and unbuttoned your pants.

"Easy, baby," muttered he. "Gonna make you feel real good."

Upon having removed your clothes, Joel continued his path down your stomach, kissing right under your bellybutton, building up a whole lot of tension inside your core as he continued down.

You felt his hot breath against your pussy, finally looking down and only then did he dive in and you gasped at his greedy tongue. He was hungry and he was not holding back.

His tongue licked a long wet stripe through your glistening folds, his nose and stubble tickling your clit. His hands held you down when you arched into his mouth and you cried his name, needy for his touch.

A chuckle vibrated from his mouth and he teased your entrance with a finger, taking you off guard when he suddenly shoved two in.

"Fff-uck!" You moaned and squirmed, completely spellbound as you felt your self tense up at the slow but consistent pace he had sat.

Considering you had indeed imagined having sex with Joel, you were surprised to find him so eager to take care of you. His now all around careful touch so contradicting to what characterized him on the job. Of course, he had never been rough with you and although you were getting more and more excited to have him fill you, you felt ecstatic experiencing him like this, treating you like delicate Chinese porcelain. You felt loved. An unusual feeling, but a welcome one.

While his fingers worked you up, he spared a look your way, finding you crushing your head into the mattress, eyes squeezed shut. The content look on his face was replaced with a focused one as he sucked your pulsating clit.

The pleads you emitted were far from coherent, only the choked cry giving you away.

"Shit, doll, don't think I'm gonna fit in this lil' pussy. Just two fingers making you all dumb for me," he chuckled, basking in the pleasure he gave you, each moan a stroke to his ego. He was set on ruining every single man for you.

Despite his taunt, he shoved a third finger inside your cunt, the only resistance being your tight walls.

Curling his fingers he stretched you to a point where he was comfortable enough with replacing them with his cock. His balls were beginning to get sore at the lack of breathing room.

The grip you had managed on his locks loosened when you felt him pull away, making you stutter as you opened your eyes again. It took some adjustment before the dots vanished and the figurative stars blinding you were replaced with the sight of his glory.

A broadshouldered, tanned naked hunk of glory. Sweat glistened on his chest, small beads decorated his hairline and his freed cock stood to attention. You hadn't noticed you were gaping at him until your mouth ran dry.

Gulping at his size, you gave him a dazed look that made his cock twitch against his stomach.

Before you had the chance to say anything - whether it be a horny comment or a total subjection to the God towering you - Joel grabbed you by your legs, pulling you down so that he was positioned directly above your entrance.

Although your juices provided more than enough lubrication, you noticed his cock had done the same, a small bead having escaped his slit. A sudden urge to taste him, you quickly reached down to swipe your thumb across his mushroom head, indulging in the salty taste.

The move made Joel groan although you could've sworn it was a whimper in disguise, a certain lovesick gleam in his brown eyes.

Crushing a kiss to your lips, he aligned himself at your entrance. As he inched in, Joel's forehead pressed against yours, his eyes focused on every change in your expression.

Your brows were knitted together in concentration, lips parted in a gasp and doe eyes glistened up at him through a watery lense.

Sliding in with easy, Joel stilled, quieting your moan with an open-mouthed kiss. He felt his cock stretch you, your walls hugging him tightly making him think you were made for him.

Your nails scratched against his back as he moved and you let out a cry, throwing your head back. It was both too much and not enough. Insatiable.

"Taking me so good, darlin'. Not gonna last long in your lil' cunt."

Joel slid a hand between your bodies, thumb suddenly drawing sloppy but aggressive circles on your clit. When he had first found a rhythm his hips did not stutter.

The mix of wet slapping sounds and chopped moans composing your lovestory. With his snapping hips and relentless work on your bundle of nerves, you felt yourself flutter against him, nails digging into his ass as he fucked you through orgasm.

Disjointed grunts echoed in his chest, revelling as your cunt squeezed his cock, pushing him out each time only to let him ram right back in.

Head nuzzled in your neck, kissing, nibbling and biting, he moved only to haul your legs over his shoulder. To enforce the deep feeling, he grasped your hand and put it just below your belly, pressing down.

"Ya feel that, doll? Rippin' you right open--fuck! Wan' me t'fill you up, uh?"

He tore you right apart, his cock ramming into you so hard you just knew you would be sore. But it didn't matter. He was worth it. This was worth it.

A slap to your cheek suddenly pulled you from cloud nine, his coarse hand roughly grasping you by the jaw.

"Tell me," murmured he, his jaw clenched, eyes locked on yours.

"Y-yes, Joel! Please, please!" Melting in his grip, you eagerly nodded, your words disjointed by your cries from feeling him so deep. "Need your cum, ba--"

Your plea was cut off by a muffled scream as all and any kindness left him, and he sped up for a brutal pace. Biting his shoulder, his hips snapped a few more times until he stilled deep inside you.

You tugged him close to you as pumps coated your walls, hot streams already oozing out. Panting, Joel sloppily fucked his come into you, wet kisses smudging across your collarbone. As you felt yourself come down, you reached for his face and kissed him breathless.

Finally he slumped off of you, falling into the place beside you, making you realize the brutal cramp in your legs from the position. Stretching your leg in the air, pulling your toes with your fingers you couldn't help but laugh when Joel noticed your situation.

"M'sorry," Joel chuckled awkwardly, the back of his hand running across his sweaty forehead.

You just shook your head, schooching closer to him to wrap your leg over his and you smiled lovingly up at him, adoring him.

"Don't worry, didn't even realize 'till you pulled out."

He wrapped his hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him, two sweaty bodies melting into one.

"Well shit, next time I ain't gon' be pullin' out then. Gonna fall asleep inside ya."

Nibbling his earlobe, you hummed and closed your eyes with giddy smile. "As long as you fuck me into the morning you can do whatever ya want."

[serpentarius]

been trying to wrap my head around the cancellation of "Our Flag Means Death" and why it hurts so fucking much. lots of folks who are much more eloquent than I have summed it up perfectly, but I still think it’s important I add my voice to the matter. 

It really, really sucks that the hurt is being compounded on us every time another queer/minority-led show gets prematurely cancelled. and for a long while, we also had to deal with the many shows that deliberately queerbaited us, which was a shitty and traumatic experience unto its own. And even though we’ve largely surpassed that early-‘00s-flavoured brand of queerbait now, mainstream queer media is still predominantly white-led. With the cancellation of OFMD, we've lost one of the very few intersectional queer shows in the mainstream. Shouldn’t we be beyond asking for crumbs at this point? Shouldn’t we get unabashedly intersectional shows helmed by and starring queer, BIPOC, and trans folks without them being axed for no rhyme or reason?

It’s exhausting at this point, honestly. OFMD has done so well in terms of viewership and engagement and fan response—almost entirely due to word of mouth and little thanks to the Max marketing team, mind you—and even still the show got cancelled? Can they make it make sense????

For me, the thing most akin to this OFMD situation was when Sense8 got cancelled. And yes, the fandom fought, and we eventually DID get a movie that wrapped things up years later! That gives me hope for OFMD, that maybe another network will pick it up, or maybe they’ll be able to make a movie someday. But what makes me sad about cases like Sense8 is knowing that the creators still had to force the narrative around the amount of time they were given. That the corporate overlords who only care about numbers and profit dictated how much time they had to wrap up their story.

And it fucking kills me that DJ only wanted one more season. One more season to complete the vision.

I'm just so mad that queer people are constantly being jerked around and used for profit and then left high and dry. And then we're given excuses like "oh there's no budget" or "oh there's not enough viewership, that's all it is". like, sure, maybe those are contributing factors, but then I look at all the useless garbage shows that have little viewership and high budgets that keep going forever and then I think "hmmmm, the math ain't mathing." It's fucking transparent; the corporations can spew all they want with their rainbow capitalism and talks about diversity, but the evidence is clear, and they can't convince me homophobia/racism/transphobia/etc. is not a factor in these decisions.

Anyways, back to OFMD. OFMD made me fall in love with fandom again. I drifted away from fandom for a while in my 20s, and while OFMD wasn't the first fandom that drew me back into the madness, it's certainly the largest. The sheer amount of creativity both within the show and outside of it has blown me away; I've read some of the best fics, seen some of the best art, and witnessed some of the most incredible creativity from people in this fandom.

And let's not forget the role of the show's creators and how they've interacted with us fans. They made us feel seen. And made us feel loved and valid, even when we were being weird and loud and horny. It's so fucking rare to see that. But they understood; understood that the show they made was for us, for any of us who've been marginalized or made to feel Othered or different or stuck in life or unsure of our identities. And they gave us so much love for it.

The story... man. The unique combination of quirky humour and bright visuals and dark, introspective moments, the gorgeous costumes and soft, lovely, unabashed queerness, and veteran actors and new actors all getting to shine, brilliant comedic actors getting to show off their dramatic chops and vice versa. For me, seeing Rhys Darby - an actor I've loved for a long time, but who I never thought I'd see in a leading role - getting to be the romantic lead in a queer role? And seeing acclaimed director/producer/screenwriter/actor Taika Waititi play opposite Rhys, as an indigenous Blackbeard? Fucking incredible. OFMD Edward Teach you will always be famous to me.

Anyways... despite my long ramblings here, I still don’t think I've been able to get to the root of WHY exactly this show has inched its way under my skin and stayed with me in the way it has. Maybe I'll spend years trying to understand it. But I DO know that it's in part to do with seeing both older queers AND a diverse range of queerness onscreen, in a way that I've never seen in media before. I DO know that OFMD has forced me to look inwardly, and allowed me to realize some important things about myself. About my own queerness, my own identity, things I'm still figuring out. I've cherished being able to see myself in Stede, in Ed, and each of the crew members. In Roach’s love for cooking, in Oluwande’s ability to mediate; in Jim’s quick temper, in the way Izzy builds walls to guard his heart. In Buttons’ quirkiness, in Wee John’s sass, in Frenchie’s ability to turn pain into humour; in The Swede’s silliness, in Lucius’ bluntness, in Pete’s soft heart beneath the skepticism. Lastly, OFMD has inspired me. To create, to write, to draw, to devour other peoples' works and worlds while I sit in sheer, overflowing joyousness at their talent.

so yeah. the news of this cancellation is upsetting and hurtful and disappointing. And it's making us cry, and it's making us grieve, and may make us hollow and numb at times because we've lost yet another thing we love so deeply before it was meant to go. It's so much more than "just a TV show". It means more to us than any passive mindless idiotic mind-numbing bullshit - because even though there's a time and a place and a purpose for that type of media, it's the thought-provoking work, the work that creators pour their entire hearts and souls into, that hit us deep in our own souls. The work that changes our lives. The work that has the ability to save lives, as I know OFMD has done for so many. 

please know I'm sending immense amounts of love and strength to those of you who are also hurting. we'll get through this, one way or another, and I'll keep up with the hope that we'll get more someday; but in the meantime, I'm holding you tight. ❤️️🫂

[zebulontheplanet]

A lot of people don’t know this because I don’t really talk about it, but I’m talking about it today!

I’ve been to three psychiatric hospitals in my life. Three. That’s quite a lot. I went from ages 12 to about 15 maybe younger, and was in for months at a time. People don’t realize how utterly terrifying and traumatizing psych wards are and it shows. If you even dare to say “psych wards aren’t that bad” then get the fuck out cause we had two different experiences.

It’s constant fighting, screaming, violence, sedation, med trials, seeing people getting restrained and getting restrained yourself. I’ve never personally been restrained or had more than a voluntary pill sedative, but still. Seeing those things, witnessing those things, is traumatizing. Seeing constant violence, being in constant fight or flight mode is not fun.

I would never go back, nor do I think I can ever go back due to my current support needs and the fact I need access to constant AAC which a lot of places deny.

I have severe psychiatric issues, and I think it was a good choice that I went when I did, however I will never be the same because of the experiences I went through while there. Yes, I had some good experiences, yes I had some bad experiences.

I’m tired of the constant romanization of psychiatric hospitals. I’m tired of the quirky “grippy sock vacation” shit because like, what the actual fuck? Do you know what psychiatric wards are like? Do you know how traumatizing they can be? Do you know that you can’t show an ounce of misbehavior or you will get in trouble. I couldn’t meltdown, I couldn’t shutdown, I couldn’t show anger, hurt, anything without getting in trouble! That sucks!

Please stop glamorizing it. Stop trying to make it silly and fun because it isn’t and you’re causing real harm. Instead, educate about psychiatric hospitals, tell the truth. Tell your experiences.

This post is not at all to deter people from getting help. If you need help then get help! If you think it’s the best option for you then go for it! Psych hospitals are great for getting stable on medication. That’s what they’re made for. To get you semi stable so they can do outpatient care or residential care.

I’ll speak more on this later but yeah. This was just my current thoughts.

[the-roo-too]

Hi!! Can I request fluffy alphabets for Yunjin? Thank you💗

candy -> huh yunjin ver

aka the fluff alphabet

admiration (what does she absolutely adore about you)- if you are at least the tiniest bit a musical person, she deffo loves to jam out with you. will force you to try and compose with her probably, even if you only know two chords on the guitar

body (what’s her favourite body part of yours)- yunjin is a hair girlie to me, she likes to play with it—give you cute hair styles if it’s long or just put pretty charms in it if it’s short!

cuddling (how she likes to cuddle)- big spoon ☝️🤓 might fight you for it (secretly loves being the little spoon tho)

dates (what’s her ideal date)- i’m thinking binging some movies late at night (like the greatest showman) and singing your hearts out 🏳️‍🌈

emotions (how does she express her emotions around you)- girlie is an open book around you. musically gifted people are usually very connected with their emotions (and yunjin did go to music school so..)

family (does she want one)- i kinda have mixed feeling about this one. maybe later in life when you’ve both settled down? she doesn’t really give me the kids vibe tho

gifts (what about gift giving)- would absolutely compose an either short ass piece or perform a long ass opera for you and would force you to listen to it 🎀🎀

holding hands (does she like to hold hands)- yes! absolutely! also smooches your hand. i feel like yunjin carries around three different hand creams. also the type to hand you a fruit scented cream in the middle of june and say “it’s fruity, like you.”

injuries (what would she do if you got hurt)- with all due respect, she wouldn’t know what to do 😭 call chaewon? tell manager? order take out?

jokes (does she like to joke around)- yes. as i said, fruity cream, fruity you.

kisses (how does she like to kiss you)- either smooches your face or full on make out session, i don’t make the rules ✊

love (what’s her love language)- passive aggressive affection. you’re grumpy in the morning? too bad, you’re still listening to taylor swift’s whole discography with her

memory (what’s her favourite memory together)- meeting you for the first time! say you two met in a coffee shop while yunjin had a break between rehearsals. the moment your eyes made contact she was doomed lol

nighttime (how does sleeping with her look like)- yunjin 100% steals the blankets. wraps herself in a burrito and you will NOT get them unless she cuddles you close and lets you inside the cocoon

oddity (what’s one quirky thing about her)- to be fair opera singing is kinda weird. like imagine you’re coming home late and night and you whisper shout a soft “yunjin! are you awake?” and she responds with a “HEREEE MY LOVEEEEE” sung loudly 🗣️

pet names (what does she like to call you)- baby girl, with a lip bite. but like “baby gowrlllllll 🫦🫦🫦🫦”

quality time (how does she like to spend time with you)- every time spent with you is quality time for her (and she will rizz you up while saying that)

rush (does she rush into things)- you’re living together by the second week of you dating

secrets (how open is she with you)- open book ‼️‼️ wanna know her father’s dead cat’s name? or what colour was chaewon face when she puked after drinking spilled milk thinking it was yoghurt?

time (how long did it take her to confess)- going with the idea that she saw you at a coffee shop, she would visit that exact place for a straight up week until she saw you again and then shoot her shot 💀

upset (what’s her reaction when you’re upset)- you’re probably upset after a fight, so then she’s upset too. if that’s not the case, if you yell at her because you’re upset, then yunjin will because upset too lol. she’s not the type to apologise first so buckle up!

visibility (is she afraid of the public opinion)- nah. you remember that one post she made for pride some time ago? public opinion’s got nothing on her

warrior (how often do you fight)- i actually thing you might fight quite a lot… 💀 because of the rushing thing. when you two hit like a two year mark or sum, it gets better. but the rushed relationship gets kinda bumpy at first.

x-ray (is she able to read you)- even if you’re not as much of an open book as yunjin is, i think she makes it her goal to know what you’re thinking at all times. like a little personal challenge

yes (how would she propose to you)- most sappy way possible, would take you to a beach and arrange for her members to blindfold you and shit. lead you down to the shore and when you feel the cold water wetting your shoes, that’s when she drops on one knee (yes, in the water) while eunchae takes off the blindfold lol

zen (what makes her feel calm)- cuddles! singing! movies! just casual romantic shit. i said she would say sorry first but she might force you to cuddle her in the middle of the night even if you two just had a massive fight

part of [the fluff series]

[syrupgirl]

Sully men and the language they love in

+incl Neteyam, Lo’ak and Jake <3

NETEYAM

Quality time & acts of service

๑༄ ‧₊˚ This guy just wants to be helpful and be able to be with you whenever he has spare the time. I think being so close to his siblings made him love spending quality time with people he loves so that definitely translates into his relationship with you

⤷“Neteyam, where are you going?” Neytiri questioned, placing down the basket she attempted to weave.

“yn is going to help me with my free diving, maybe even teach me how to hunt.” He sounded giddy and was clearly ready to go. His mother smiled and looked down at her lap.

“Alright, do not get into any trouble.” Neteyam nodded frantically and without another second he took off towards the shore.

-

“Surely it cannot be that different than what Tsireya has been teaching us.”

The two of you bobbed up and down in the water, letting the waves gently jostle you while you taught Neteyam.

“You are right, not too different. But hunting under the water asks you to be able to move your breath around your body in a different way that just free diving.” You explained.

The distance between you closed and you placed a hand on Neteyam’s chest.

“Imagine the breath you take flowing all throughout your body.” His chest slowly expanded and deflated under your palm. “Like…Rain trickling from leaf to leaf, like wind weaving itself through the trees.”

Neteyam’s snorted and you whined, “Come one, you almost had it!”

He continued to laugh and brought a hand up to his face.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. It’s just…The way you explained it. I could tell you were really trying to explain it in a way that you thought I would get.”

Heat crept up to your face and you looked away, a little embarrassed.

“I thought it might help you..,”

Neteyam’s laughing died down and he took your hand in his under the water, feeling a little bad.

“It did, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I think it is adorable you are trying to…customise your teachings for me.” He brought your hand up to his chest again and took a deep breath.

“Now, tell me what to do again.”

LO’AK

Gift giving & physical touch

๑༄ ‧₊˚ I don’t know about you, but I can totally imagine Lo’ak bringing you things he finds pretty or things he thinks you will find pretty. It might just be me over exaggerating that lone wolf, not-like-other-guys quality about him but in my head, he’s quirky like that

⤷”Lo’ak? Lo’ak!” You called. He was just next to you…Where could he have wondered off to? Leaping over a small creek, you continued to scan the foliage around you maybe to catch a glimpse of him.

The ground was moist beneath you noticed as you sat down, opting to wait for Lo’ak to turn up again like he always did. Your eyes drifted shut and you let yourself away with the gently breeze that combed and wove itself through the tall trees and colourful bushes. So caught up in the environment around you, you didn’t notice the sneaking footsteps behind you.

Lo’ak crept up behind you, a colourful flower in between his fingers. While sneaking through the thicket, he had noticed it and was immediately entranced by it’s delicate petals and long stamen. After sayings a quick prayer to Eywa in exchange for this beautiful gift, he plucked it and made his way back to you.

Now right behind you, he gently picked up the long braid that protected your tsaheylu and wove the stem through the intricately woven hair. You gasped and turned around suddenly, your hair slapping Lo’ak right across the face and he sputtered.

“Oh, Lo’ak! You scared me!” You gasped and punched him pathetically in the arm. He laughed and came to sit next to you.

“There was a flower, a pretty one. I thought you might like it.” He gently picked up the large plait and showed where he had woven the flower through. A smile settled across your lips.

“Thank you, Lo’ak, it’s beautiful.”

Lo’ak said nothing just smiled bashfully and shuffled a bit closer to you, threading his fingers through yours.

JAKE

Words of affirmation & physical touch

๑༄ ‧₊˚ Over the years, the world has worn on Jake. He’s a father and he will stop at nothing to protect his family. He worries, worries, worries CONSTANTLY, so the days where he can let the weight slip from his shoulders and just gather you in his embrace and shower you in gooey loving words feel all the more sweet to him.

⤷“Whose kids are those?” Jake sighed as he fell down next to you. “Not mine, that’s for sure. I was never that hyper as a kid.”

A laugh bubbles up from your stomach as you adjusted Tuk on your chest.

“Are you sure? Maybe they don’t mirror your childhood, but they do remind me of when you first arrived here. All clumsy and eager in your new body.” He laughed at that and wrapped his arm around you.

The sound of the boys in the river playing not far away washes over the two of you both. After a while, you remove Tuktirey from your breast and up to your shoulder to clear her airway of bubbles.

Jake’s eyes lingered on you and his youngest and smiled. He brought a hand up to gently pat her back and Tuk responded with a gurgle. He took her from your arms and lay the baby across his chest, then pulled you closer by the arm around your shoulders.

You nestled yourself into his side and lifted a finger up to stroke your baby’s cheek. She cooed and you both smiled.

“I don’t say it enough but,” you turned your head up to look at your mate, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For them-” he looked to the direction of his other children who were still occupied in the stream “-for her-” now looking at Tuk “-Everything. I don’t know where I would be today without you.”

No words were needed after that. As a tear rolled down your cheek, you closed your eyes and rest.

[diabolicalworldwriter]

Jesus, I just got to the point in Words of Radiance where Kal is in prison and Dalinar basically says "You're not going to end racism by being radical and acting upset about it. You can't just expect us to treat you like an equal because you're not one. Play nice and maybe the racists will grow to respect you"

I.

Buddy what the fuck

In general I think I've found that I'm... Not as fond of Dalinar as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, he does some great things and he's constantly trying to improve and I appreciate that. Flawed characters make stories interesting and I think Brandon does a fantastic job of writing him. However, he is overly strict and judgemental (Still not forgiving him for hating on Adolin for trying to express himself a bit more through style in ROW; let my boy dress up a bit if he wants), he struggles to accept other ways of doing things (we could look to Adolin again, being "too friendly" with those he commands and Dalinar going "noooo they might respect you less if they think you see them as an equal individual"), and while he talks about how he wants to change how everything works, if someone tries to defy convention in a way he doesn't approve of he shuts them down. (Kaladin pointing out very fair issues with how dark eyes are punished severely and light eyes get away with everything only to be talked down at until he shut up and fell in line, for example.) He wants change and has power to bring it about but won't do anything too radical for it, I guess, and that frustrates me. He tends to support systems as long as they work for his own goals, even if they're still exploitative and deeply unjust, while also complaining that everyone else is being exploitative and unjust. I dislike that he acts like he's doing Kaladin such a favor by treating him as almost an equal. "I'm sticking my neck out by treating you like a human, act civil and don't try to speak too loudly about the injustices yet, you might make the others uncomfortable." Dalinar isn't like other light eyes, he's so quirky and different and sometimes acts a bit less classist and racist!!! Aren't we lucky!! Idk maybe I'm stating my point a bit too strongly but damn. He's giving "yeah I'm a stubborn old man but really I'm quite progressive, I don't even go out of my way to hate crime people"

Words of Radiance, while I enjoy it, is rather difficult to get through because it's just so many main characters who I generally appreciate being awful to/supporting or ignoring awful behavior towards Kaladin and if he reacts they're like ":0000 how dare he attack first" (I appreciate Zahel chewing out Adolin for antagonizing and then fighting Kal in shardplate because goddamn Adolin I love you but that sucked.)

I'm finding Elhokar a lot more unlikeable on this reread as well. He's meant to be unlikeable of course, so good job on that, but Jesus he can be the worst. Honestly standing beside my past thoughts that what Moash did wrong was not in turning on the system that oppresses him and all the dark eyes, but just that he knowingly hurt Kaladin and other people who cared about him repeatedly and severely to do so.

I'm on board with killing horrible leaders (especially if it seems the only way to remove them and stop them from causing harm: people shouldn't have to suffer and die as part of a leader's learning curve and character growth, and going "they're working on it" when people are actively suffering is garbage. I'm still sad at Elhokar's death but I'm not sad that he's no longer king) but I draw the line at abusing and killing one's friends and I am just hoping he comes to terms with what he has done wrong and improves in book five.

Anyways that was long and scattered I'm sorry lmao you should have heard my rant to my poor cousin, I was rambling for like half an hour.

[lee-annwrites1]

for me? part two

quinn hughes x oc

notes-

none for now, enjoy!

warnings-

swearing, suggestive content

——————————————————————————

Quinn, June 22nd, 2018

“Viv?” The nickname falls from my mouth uncontrollably, something I haven’t said in a long time.

This is Jack’s childhood best friend? If Jack hadn’t warned me she was coming I wouldn’t have recognized her.

Her previously short brown hair was now a golden blonde, and long past her shoulders. Her eyes still a crystal blue but her face slimmer and cheekbones are higher and more visible.

The only thing that hasn’t changed is her smile. Big and quirky, with perfect and white teeth on display. That was her mother’s biggest flex, was having perfect teeth since birth.

“Quinn.” She says as a greeting, and that’s enough for me.

“Your brother here?” I ask, noticing his absence. Normally, where Jordan goes, Viv goes.

“He’s in Boston still, I think he’s gonna try to make it next week.” She explains, looking between Luke and Jack. She nods them a quick hello in acknowledgment, which they return. I know Jacks itching to drag her away someplace to catch up.

“Good, I haven’t seen him in a while.” I reply, unsure of what to say.

“Neither have I.” Her smile sort of fades, I clue in that there’s more to the story I don’t know about. I won’t press.

Jack clears his throat, “Well,” he claps his hands together, saving us all from an awkward conversation. “Vivienne, did you know we got a hot tub? It fits six people. Can you believe that?” He sells it quite well, making her smile appear again.

“No. But with that enthusiasm I want to.” She laughs quietly, following Jack out the back doors.

Luke and I turn to each other and shrug, then continue our game of pool. We’ll get our chance to catch up.

—

I don’t know what went on outside, but when dinner was ready they came in laughing like no time had passed. It’s good to see that side of Jack again.

“Look who it is.” My dad laughs from the couch, taking notice of Viv.

She beams at him, rushing to give him a hug. My dad’s always see her as one of his own, now’s no different.

I hear a mumbled ‘so good to see you’ from the kitchen where I grab plates to set the tables. “Thank you Quinn.” Mom pats my shoulder, I send her a small smile in return.

“-and he left everything with that chick from Jersey?! I can’t believe him.” Bethany rolls her eyes, before pulling her hands from the countertop to rub her temples.

She’s been complaining about Vivienne’s biological dad for the past half hour. I think I’ve heard enough for the next hundred.

“We can’t always control other people’s actions Beth, plus he was always a ‘you know what’.” Mom raises her brows in knowing toward Beth, who just sighs.

“I know, but it affects her.” Beth gestures to Viv who laughs along with my dad at something, clueless.

“It’s really a conversation for another time El.” Beth says, sending me a glance from the kitchen. She knows I’m listening in the dining room.

“I totally understand, we’ll talk later.”

—

“Quinn?” Luke nudges my shoulder to grab my attention, then points to a dish full of green beans that sits just out of his reach. I pass it to him.

Somehow the kids table still exists between us, and we sit outside on the deck whilst the ‘adults’ sit inside in the air conditioning.

“So you decided to stay another year?” Viv adds into the conversation, speaking up for the first time in a while.

“Yeah, I like it in Mich. I think Vancouver can wait a year.” I say, before forking a bite of salad to avoid details.

“I’ll just miss you in Michigan next year then.” She raises an eyebrow at me, without a further explanation.

“What do you mean?” I instantly regret talking, remembering the food still in my mouth. She doesn’t notice.

“I’m looking at going to Umich next year. ” She says casually, which takes me by surprise. I remember when I got accepted I was itching to tell everyone, it was the best thing that happened to me before the draft.

“Good for you.” I say genuinely, nodding to her. I mean it. “Anything else new with you?”

She thinks, “Not really. Still dating Nash on and off, still have the same friends.”

“Nash is a beast to play against.” I comment, reminiscing in past hockey games I’ve played against him.

“Yeah he’s definitely something.” She laughs weakly to herself. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing so many pieces to these stories.

“He treating you good?” Jack asks. He cares about her for sure, no one would question that. It’s not a crush of love or something. He just cares.

“For the most part yeah, it’s hard when he lives so far away now though.” She says, filling in more blanks for me. It’s like piecing together a puzzle with her.

“Have you been in touch with anyone from the lake?” I ask, pry more like.

“No. It’s been a long few years.” She says, confident in her answer without giving out too much.

“I think we should all get together, like old times. What do you say?” Jack wraps his arm around Vivienne’s shoulder and she shrugs.

“That sounds nice actually.” She smiles sweetly at us, like we made her day.

“I’ll set something up.” Jack smiles at her, she nods in response.

—

She’s never crossed my mind like this. Or ever for that matter. I mean, she’s my brothers best friend.

I find myself frustrated over the lack of service we have in the house. It’s eleven, and everyone’s already asleep. I’m searching for her instagram, just for a look.

Nothings loading.

I decided to take a walk down the property to the best spot at the edge of the beach. It’s cold, unlike the heat from earlier. Though I’m not sure what I was expecting.

I find a spot on a washed up log down by the water, and pull out my phone.

—

Instagram

Pittsburg, USA

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viviennemarshalls hbd blondie 🤍

lizzy_dalla back together I see…

-> viviennamarshalls maybe…

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—

So she’s still together with Nash. That post was two months ago, but if they’d broken up she would have deleted it.

I shove my phone back in my pocket. Why do I care?

“What are you doing out here?” The voice startled me, and I turn to face Viv.

She stands in her pjs and her hair in a messy bun, and glasses? Since when?

I’m suddenly self conscious of my outfit, a leafs t shirt and basketball shorts. Since our bedrooms don’t have ac we have to compensate.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” I say, recovering from the heart attack she nearly gave me.

“Can I sit?” She shifts her gaze to the empty space beside and I nod.

She mutters and thank you and sits down on my left, “Since when did you have glasses?” I ask, pointing to her clear frames.

“I always did, just never wore them. Contacts are the way to go.” She nods, looking out to the water. Her face is barely visible, just the faint shading from the dim house lights behind us.

“They suit you.” I compliment.

She smiles, though her lips stay shut. “I always thought Jack would’ve made fun of me because of them.” She says, tapping the rim of the frames.

I laugh quietly, “That sounds like something he’d do.”

It goes quiet for a moment, except it’s a comfortable silence. I don’t dare to break it.

“I think this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.” She states, breaking the silence.

“Probably.” I say dryly. I feel a loss of words with her. She feels like a stranger that I know so well, and all I want to do is make her a friend.

She sighs, “I missed the lake.”

I gather up the courage to ask her, “Why haven’t you came the past few years then?”

She glances at me, her eyes deep. She looks away. “I had no say in it. My dad was convinced it was an ‘unsafe environment to grow up in’.”

I’ve never met her dad, only a few boyfriends her mom has had over the years. They never stay long.

“Bring him here, he’ll change his mind.” I suggest, looking at our surroundings.

She swallows deeply, like she’s holding something back.

“He died.”

—

Vivienne, June 22nd, 2018

“Vivienne, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Quinn says frantically, torn over his choice of words.

“It’s okay.” I comfort him, “There’s no way you could have known.”

“That’s doesn’t mean I don’t feel like shit for it. Are you okay?” He asks, his eyes wide and glossy, and so very blue.

“I am now, that’s all that matters.” I smile, though I know it’s weak.

He ponders for a moment, “Do you need anything?”

“Just stay here with me for a little while longer.” Is all I can think of.

“Of course.” He says, looking at the water with me. The moons reflects and breaks off in the small waves.

“Does Jack know?” He asks, his eyes still set on the water.

“No. You’re the first one I’ve told.” I sniffle. I’m not sure when the tears started but I find myself struggling to hold them back.

He glances at me, noticing the tears welling on my waterline. He hesitates, a thousand things running through his mind.

He brings his left arm up hesitantly and lays it around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I lean my head against his shoulder and lower it. His right hand rests on my left cheek, pressing my face against his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles quietly.

—

I must’ve fell asleep, because when I woke up, Quinn was carrying me bridal style up the stairs from the beach to the house. He might not look like it, but that man is strong.

I don’t open my eyes, I could’ve, but my body and mind are too exhausted to even comprehend what’s going on.

He fumbled with the front door, before gently pressing it open. I feel his hands move beneath my spine as he closed it behind him.

He walks down the hall and into my room, familiar with the layout of the house.

He sets me gently onto the right side of my bed, then grabs a blanket off the chair in the corner and drapes it over top of me.

Leaning close, he gently pulls off my glasses and sets them on the night stand. With a soft tap on my shoulder he was gone, and I was left alone.

—

Vivienne, June 24th, 2018

Jack planned (surprisingly) a night at their house to get everyone back together. The day previous we drove the thirty minutes into town to pick up hotdogs and marshmallows. It was worth it.

The two of us set up the lights on the deck, stocked the coolers, and by the end, we were exhausted.

“It’s only three-thirty, I told everyone to come by at five-ish.” Jack says, dropping into a patio chair.

I wipe the line of sweat that gathered across my brows, “We could go for a swim?” I suggest.

His eyes light up, “Race?” He jumps up, giving me no warnings.

I chase him down the stairs and across the lawn to the dock, cursing him out for leaving me behind without warning.

We skid to a stop at the edge of the dock once we remember we’re still wearing clothes. I kick my sandals off as fast as I can, pull my shirt off and slip out of my shorts to reveal the lilac bikini I wore underneath.

“Wow.” Jack says, scanning over me.

I send him a glare, then remember the reason we’re here. I jump in at the end of the dock before he can.

He cannonballs beside me, splashing water up my nose. I rush to blow it out, “That was gross.” I complain, wiping my nose.

“That’s what you get for cheating me out of a win.” He states, pulling himself onto the dock and reaching his hand down to grab mine. “Don’t you dare pull me in.”

“I won’t.” I promise, grabbing his hand as he pulls me up.

“You do look good.” He winks, and I shove his shoulder in response.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” I squeeze the water out of my hair.

“It is one.” He says.

I laugh, and tie my hair into a low pony. “Dock wrestling?”

“Bet.”

—

From the hour of wrestling I have four new bruises forming on my legs, arms, and hip. He got me good. Considering he’s not a skinny twelve year old anymore, I don’t know why I thought I stood the chance.

He throws me a towel and I wrap it around my shoulders, shivering in the cool house.

“Cold?” He laughs, unfazed by the temps fire change. He stands with a glass of water on the opposite side of the counter.

“Very.” He pours his lip, before taking another sip of water. “If you don’t that again I’ll hit you with this.” I threaten, holding the towel up.

“Fine, I wont do it again.” He surrenders, placing the glass on the counter.

The front door knocks three times before opening, two boys enter with a holler. Matthew and Brady, the Tkachuk brothers. I wonder where Taryn is.

“Where’s Quinny boy at? I got him a present.” Matthew yells to no one in particular. He holds up a gift bag.

“Can you go check him and Luke’s rooms? Send them down here?” Jack asks me, giving me his best pleading eyes.

“Fine.” I say, wrapping my towel tightly around my chest before sprinting up the stairs to the boys rooms before Matthew or Brady takes notice of me.

I’m not up here often, so figuring out which door was who’s was very confusing.

I knock at the first one, the door closed fully. “Luke? Quinn?” I say, opening the door slightly.

Luke lays shirtless on the floor in front of a fan. “What?” He mumbles into the floor.

“Jack wants you downstairs.”

“I’ll be down in a bit.”

I close the door behind me and walk down the hall. I assume the wide open door and empty room beside Lukes is Jacks, so I turn to the other side of the hall where only one door stands, cracked open slightly.

I knock lightly, “Hello?” I push the door open when I don’t get a response.

The room is a dark navy blue, with various hockey posters and family photos scattered throughout. The floor has clothes littered throughout and the door beside the closet is closed. The bathroom.

“Quinn?” I say, before entering the room. I knock on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” Quinn shouts from the other side over top of the faint fan sound coming from inside.

“It’s Vivienne, Jack wants you downstairs.”

There’s a brief silence, “I can’t hear you. You can open the door.”

I hesitate at the handle before opening it. Quinn stands with in his boxers alone, leaning over the counter with a razor, his face a quarter covered with shaving cream.

He glances over at me, his face surprised. “I thought you were Luke.” He says, finishing a last stroke before rinsing the razor off.

I clear my throat, avoiding glancing anywhere where I shouldn’t. “No, uh, Jack asked me to come grab you.”

He turns back to the mirror, and picks the razor up again. “Why?”

I can’t help it, his arms are toned and slim, his abs the same. Is it hot in here or what? “The Tkachuks are here.”

“Everyone? Or just the boys.” He rinses his razor off a gain.

“Just the boys.” I say, leaning against the door frame.

“Could you grab my shorts from by my bed?” He asks, referencing his lack of clothing that thickens the tension.

I nod, not trusting myself with words. I grab the black shorts and bring them to him, I face my back to him for extra privacy.

“You don’t have to do that, you’ve already seen me in my underwear. It’s not like I’m stripping.” He reasons, and I listen to him tie the drawstrings. My cue to turn around.

“I’d want the privacy.” I explain and he nods in understanding.

“Yeah there’s no problem in that.” He says, then turns to me. “Did I miss a spot?” He asks, pointing to his for the most part, clean face.

I point to a section on hus jaw, “just missing a piece here.”

“Can you do it?”

“What?”

“Can you do it? The mirrors so fogged it’s worse for me to do it than you.” He asks, holding the razor out.

I reluctantly take it, “If I cut you, you can’t blame me.” I waiver.

“Go ahead.” He backs up to sit atop the counter, leaning forward to my height.

I gently place my left hand in his hair line and tilt his head to the left, the razor glides over his jaw smoothly. Tension fills the room, and I’m not sure if it’s the steamy air from a previous shower that makes it harder to breathe, or that Quinn Hughes is shirtless in front of me, alone.

He keeps his eyes steady on me, and I fight every living cell inside of me that wants to be nervous. Since when did he made me feel like that?

Maybe time did fill out its own complicated story.

I finish with the razor and place it on the counter to his left. His eyes follow my movements as I grab a cloth and wet it. I bring it to his face and wipe the faint remains of shaving cream as gently as possible.

I back away, admiring my work. “Done.” I state, throwing the cloth into a laundry basket placed outside the door.

“Thanks, I’ll meet you down stairs.” He smiles, jumping down from the counter to check himself in the mirror.

Leaving, I shake the butterflies in my chest. I shouldn’t be feeling that. Especially not with him.

—

Part 3 coming soon!

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[punkeropercyjackson]

We've lost the plot when it comes to Percy Jackson.He's the personification of abused neurodivergent kids who got to grow up to live happy adult lives and to defy stereotypes.There's no ambiguity or alternative interpretations because that's what his author has always said he intended him as.When i say 'defy stereotypes',i'm also not limiting it to mental disabilities but GENDER too seeing as his plot in The Titan's Curse was proving himself as different from traditional men to Zoe and is said to be unlike other male characters countless times even in looks by a significant amount of the rest of the cast.Not to mention he's accidentally written as way more afrolatino-coded,specifically monoracial and darkskin,than white-coded considering all the straightup profiling he gets in the mortal world as a child and how many of his habits and traits are black and latino norms and tastes,including being from El Barrio and for the canon purists,Riordan has stated verbal approval of moc Percy

He was NEVER meant to be a normie,he was ALWAYS meant to be a minority and relatable to US,not white boylosers that let people bully them because they're self-proclaimed 'cringe but free' and pick me girls who flirt by being mean and treat woc like an entirely different species.And NEITHER of who challenge societal expectations or help out oppressed groups or try to fix the system or break cycles of abuse because they're too pissy to in any way that's not as aesthetic instead of a personality and a lifestyle.Percy.Jackson.Was.Never.For.You.He's a misfit because he's a minority since he's neurodivergent,poor and an abuse victim and he loves other minorities enough to be a bully beater nonstop no matter how many schools he got expelled out of

Hmm,would any of y'all have done that?I mean i've never been expelled but i DID stand up for other kids in addition to myself without a second thought all the way back to elementary school and i've shared a personality with Percy my whole life even besides that,including being afrolatino,bpdtistic and a trans femme and BECAUSE i'm all those things since Percy is also them.But if the books were about me,y'all never would've gotten into the series because the only weirdos to you are nerds,not the oppressed and you think we spit in the name of 'real' outcasts because we're 'too much'.Percy literally hates rich white people in-text and is implied to listen to The Ramones but when we say he means that shit and ain't just being quirky or tryna look cool,y'all forget yourselves and what happened in the books because that neo-liberalism in all the other books you read gave you brainrot and convinced you bookworms and fandomers are persecuted.Get better taste and social awareness,i'm not embarrased to be into super into children's media cause i have a life but i AM embarrased to have to share it with y'all.Especially those of y'all who think Luke was a radicalist instead of a fascist and insult greek people by using the bad parts of their history for your ships but never employ their actual culture

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 33

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Reader finally moves to Detroit with Marshall and gets used to living with him and getting to know him even better. She is on cloud nine... Until she learns she's going to meet someone special.

Tags : Fluff - Smut - Bit of angst

Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️

Y/N’s POV 

After you finally landed in Detroit, you spent almost two days sleeping, trying to fight the jetlag. Marshall seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, probably because he was so used to traveling. You, on the other hand, were really suffering from it and it wasn’t only affecting your sleep schedule, on the rare occasions you were awake, you also had trouble focusing, which did not help you get reacquainted with the house. You didn’t think you would have much trouble settling in, since you had spent so much time there before moving back to Paris, but actually moving in with your boyfriend was a bit different : you had to learn where everything was located and you got familiar with Marshall’s quirky ways, like how he organized the pantry and his weird tidying up habits, that were really different from yours. Also, you hadn’t really thought about the fact that you might feel ill-at-ease in the house, but it was definitely the case. Your boyfriend was incredibly welcoming and made a point of saying that it was your house too, but it didn’t feel like it. Every piece of furniture reminded you of the fact that he had lived there for about twenty years and had lived a full life in it before you were in the picture. You weren’t jealous per se, but it felt weird, like you were starting from scratch and he was already on level 20. So far, the corner you managed to claim as yours was the bedroom, probably because you spent so much time sleeping and fighting off jet lag. On the third day, though, you managed to wake up at a decent time and found Marshall training in the home gym. The sight of him bare chested and all sweaty doing some push ups was definitely a nice way to start your day. 

Hey sleeping beauty, he said as he got up to kiss you. Didn’t expect to see you awake until a couple of hours at least. 

I think I’m starting to run on american time again, you giggled. You know, if I had known I’d see this in the morning, I would have fought the jet lag harder… 

Just got back to it today, he chuckled. Gotta start training back, after all that pasta in Italy. You don’t want me to get all chubby, now, do you ? 

I wouldn’t mind, you said as you ran your hand over his stomach. The more of you the better. 

How about you help me shower ? He asked with a smirk. You’ll get to see more of me. 

Are you really propositioning me this early in the morning, Marshall ? 

Haven’t seen much of you for three days, you know, he chuckled. 

Now I wonder how you managed for six months, you giggled. 

Not going to lie, it was hard. Pun intended. Are you coming or what ? 

Actually, your man having his way with you in every room and against every single piece of furniture did a great job helping you feel at home in the house. In the following days, you spent a lot of time doing each other but not getting much else done. After a while, though, you decided to finally unpack the few things you had taken with you. To be fair, it wouldn’t take too long and your things would not take much space either, seeing as you only had the bare essentials. You might as well start a blog on minimalism, at this rate. At least, you wouldn’t spend too much time choosing what to wear, your options being somewhat limited. 

Last chance to reconsider this whole me moving in thing, you said playfully as you opened your suitcase. 

Not a chance, he chuckled before kissing your cheek. 

Do you think you can spare a drawer in your closet for my stuff ? You asked. 

No need, he shrugged. You can have a whole closet. The house came with his and hers. 

Fancy, you giggled. Although, I would have thought your centipede ass would have taken over the second one for your sneakers… 

I did, he chuckled. But I freed up the space the day after we arrived, while you were sleeping like a baby. 

You’re the best. Although we can definitely share the space, I literally only need a drawer, you said as you pointed to your suitcase. 

I guess you’re going to have to shop, he said with a smile. 

I will, when I have a job, you said. 

Why wait ? He asked. 

Money, you shrugged. 

He rolled his eyes and handed you his credit card. You looked at him without taking it, waiting for him to put it back in his pocket. He stared back, not moving. It was like a silent argument. He had told you before that he was intent on taking care of you in every way possible, but you had your pride and there was no way in hell that you would shop with his hard earned money. You were already moving into his giant house, coming back from an expensive holiday in Europe that he had paid for, wearing a watch and a bracelet that, combined, probably cost more than what you had made in the past year. 

Just take it, he finally said. 

Put that back, you said. I can wait. 

You barely have enough clothes to go through a washing cycle, he pointed out. 

I’ll just borrow yours, then, you playfully retorted. Or walk around naked. But I am not taking advantage of your money. 

I kind of like the idea of having you walk around the house naked, he replied with a smirk. And you know I love it when you wear my stuff. But seriously, you don’t have to be so noble. It’s no big deal. 

I’m not a kept woman. And there is no way I will act like a trophy girlfriend and have you pay for my stuff. All of this is already too much, you said as you gestured around you. 

Technically, it would benefit me too, you know ? He pointed out. I like undressing you. Let’s not underestimate the importance of wrapping paper around the present… 

And what would the ideal wrapping paper look like ? You asked. 

Lingerie, obviously, he giggled. I like the lacy stuff. Can I confess something ? 

Go ahead, you chuckled. 

You know, the black lace bodysuit you wore in the picture that leaked last year ? He asked. It drove me absolutely crazy. I deleted the picture, out of respect for you, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been in a few dreams of mine. 

Oh really ? You asked playfully. Too bad I don’t have it anymore. 

You have no idea what I would do to you if I saw you wear this thing, he said. 

I’ll put it on my list, then, you said with a wink. 

Or you could buy it right now, he said as he waved his card in front of your face. As a congratulation present for the album’s success ? Or early Christmas ? And let’s not forget that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so, really… 

You couldn’t help but giggle. He reminded you of a kid asking their parents for a new video game. He was making puppy eyes at you, batting his eyelashes and whispering “please, please, please ?”. You rolled your eyes and ended up caving in. “Fine, you said. Only lingerie, though.”, you mumbled. Without a second of hesitation, he grabbed your iPad. For someone who often played dumb when it came to technology, he was incredibly proficient. In a couple of seconds, he had ten tabs open on various lingerie websites. He had a fancy taste in lingerie and definitely had a lot of ideas on what he would like you to wear, leading you to think he had given it some thought for a while. What initially started in a search for one lacy black bodysuit ended up in Marshall adding tons of things to the cart because “shipping is an ecological disaster so you might as well make the most of it”. At some point, you were sure that there were less items in a full Victoria’s Secret fashion show and you hoped for his sake that he had invested in Agent Provocateur, because the bill was going up insanely fast, with each click. He seemed like a kid in a candy store and was absolutely unstoppable. 

Babe, I don’t think I need a bodychain that looks like a butterfly, you pointed out with a giggle. 

I like accessories, he chuckled. 

They do have beautiful things, you admitted. Like, those rose gold rope handcuffs… 

You’re into that ? He asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

No, you said shyly. I mean, yes, but… well… 

No need to blush, he said. I’m adding these to the cart. Just in case… Oh, look, they have a matching choker. 

When you thought you were done, once the order was placed, he started arguing that you would need at least one pair of heels to go with it, just to complete the look and you didn’t even have time to answer before he started browsing Louboutin’s website. At that point, trying to reason with him was a lost cause. Plus, if you were honest, he did have good taste. 

You realize you just spent the equivalent of the gross domestic product of some countries, simply on stuff you want to ravish me in, right ? You pointed out. 

As a businessman, I’d say it’s an investment, he said with a smirk. 

As a rational person, I’m tempted to ask how this little investment would bring some actual profit, you giggled. 

That’s actually really simple, he said. That’s an investment in our relationship, which is important to my work-life balance, hence my creativity. 

Almost a fair point, you conceded. 

Plus, I think I could base a whole album on your body and all the things I’m doing to you once we receive that package, he chuckled. So if it goes well, it might pay for our next vacation… 

I swear to God, Marshall, if I hear one reference to our sex life in a song… 

One ? He said with a grin. Babe, it’ll be at least four or five… 

I’m serious, you said sternly. 

We’ll see, he replied with a wink. 

You thoroughly enjoyed having Marshall with you while you got used to the house. It was a far cry from your fancy holidays in Europe. Of course, discovering cities, eating at restaurants and staying at luxury hotels was nice, but this felt more real, more domestic. You also liked the fact that, in spite of his obvious wealth, the house had an actual family feel to it, far from what a lot of real people showcased on Instagram or Architectural Digest videos. The place was actually lived in, filled with memories and it had a nice vibe to it. Most people probably wouldn’t expect one of the world’s most famous rappers to live in a place like this, but once you got to know Marshall, it sort of made sense. The house was secluded and located in a gated community - for obvious reasons - and it was impressive in size, for sure, but it wasn’t flashy by any means. The furniture was all about quality but unassuming, with a nice cozy feel to it, with comfortable chairs and sofas, as well as spaces designed to have people over and entertain. The perfect nook for someone who actually spent a lot of time at home. You had never thought you’d live in such a place but you were happy you ended up here. Not that it mattered too much anyway, since you were sure you could be happy anywhere as long as you had Marshall by your side. After a few days, it was time for your boyfriend to go back to work and you’d be left alone in the house for the first time. The night before, as you were laying  in bed, the two of you were talking about his upcoming projects. Now that he was no longer in album recording mode, it would change a tad from what you had witnessed. He would spend as much time « in the lab », as he put it, but he would have more people over and prioritize his work as a producer for a bit. He seemed genuinely excited to go back to work, especially since he hadn’t indulged in such a long break in almost a decade. 

Three weeks off is rare for me, he chuckled. My team almost freaked out when I told them I needed this much time off, at first. 

Why did you, by the way ? You asked. 

I figured I would need a lot of rest after the tour, he explained. It was a short one but it was intense and, since I don’t perform as much as I used to, it’s harder on the body. Plus, I was still very much heartbroken over a certain someone… 

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 

Don’t be. All is well in the end, right ? I got my much-needed break, I have the most amazing woman back in my arms, we got to travel together and you even moved in ! I wouldn’t have it any other way, he said as he looked at you lovingly. 

They’re going to have you back in a good mood, you giggled. 

I’m pretty sure I’ll turn back into my usual bitchy self as soon as I get back, he chuckled. Doesn’t help that we’re starting with a full day of meetings, too… 

What meetings ? You asked, feeling curious. 

Bunch of them, he shrugged. One to plan the next months ahead, review the collaboration requests we’ve got, one about potential performance dates, a meeting with a journalist for an interview… oh and another one with Tracy. 

As soon as you heard her name leave his lips, you couldn’t help but grimace, which did not escape his notice. He chuckled and kissed your forehead. Since you had gone on vacation, you hadn’t mentioned her. To be fair, you were so busy that you had momentarily forgotten about her existence - which was not the worst thing. The mere mention of her was enough to make you groan and you had to put in a lot of effort not to have a mental image of her kissing your boyfriend the very day before you got back with him. Obviously, neither she nor Marshall had medium powers so they couldn’t have planned that you’d get back together but still… it irked you. You did not want that woman anywhere near Marshall. Especially since he had told you she had confessed to hoping they would get back together. He had given her a few weeks to sort her feelings out and decide on whether or not they would keep on working together, leaving the choice up to her. Your boyfriend was definitely a class act and a gentleman. Now, you secretly hoped she would quit. A shameful feeling you would never confess to having, of course. 

Stop clenching your jaw like that, it’s bad for you, Marshall chuckled as he traced your jaw with his fingers. 

I’m not clenching, you groaned. 

You totally are, he said with a smile. You still hate her don’t you ? 

Me ? Hate her ? You asked. I don’t hate her. Do I like her ? No. Do I hope she stubs her toe on some piece of furniture every morning for the rest of her life ? Maybe. But I don’t hate her. 

You’re so petty, he chortled. It’s hilarious. 

You mean pretty, right ? 

I said what I said, he chuckled as he kissed your temple. You know you don’t have anything to worry about, though, right ? 

I know, you said. I just have to shake the feeling. It’ll pass. 

I hope so, he replied. If she keeps on working as my personal assistant, you might run into her from time to time. I don’t want it to be weird. 

I can be civil, you assured him. As long as she keeps her hands off you. 

Territorial, much ? He teased you. 

You’re mine, you said. 

Yours, he said with a nod before kissing you tenderly. 

You settled in his arms as he turned off the lights and you put a hand over his perfect chest before drifting off to sleep. When you woke up the next day, he was already gone. You found a sweet note on your nightstand, telling you to enjoy having the house to yourself and that he would come home at 5:30PM. You missed him already but decided to make the most of your first day with some intensive self care. It was Monday so Talia was at work, otherwise you would have told her to come over for a girls day. Still, being on your own wasn’t going to prevent you from pampering yourself and trying to be pretty for your man when he would come back from work. You started with a bath, taking some time to do a full body scrub, some hair care and a face mask. One of the many perks of the house was the bathroom adjacent to the master bedroom, which was basically like a home spa. You could definitely get used to this life… you were getting dressed when the doorbell rang. It felt weird answering the door, but it was your new home after all. It was actually the delivery of your package from Agent Provocateur, and it was a huge one. As soon as you got it, you brought it to your closet and started unboxing. You had always liked lingerie but so far the most expensive stuff you had ever bought was probably from Victoria’s Secret or Princess Tam Tam, as well as a few Aubade pieces (on sale). This was different. It felt insanely sexy and luxurious and, to be honest, you weren’t too sure you deserved to be wearing such garments. Still, now that all this stuff was in your closet, you might as well wear it, so you decided to try it on. You were unsure whether it was the expensive fabrics and accessories adorning your body or your extensive pampering session from earlier, but you were absolutely feeling yourself. As you examined yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but think you looked great, which was quite a feat. Ever since you had lost weight, you had had trouble appreciating your body. You had always been on the curvier side and you had learned to love your body like this. So liking a skinnier version of your body was a bit hard. Still, the lingerie worked wonders. You tried on a few pieces and wished Marshall could be there to see it, sure that he would gladly enjoy the view, rather than being stuck in meetings with Paul, Tracy and God knows who else… That's when you had an idea : you might as well show him what was waiting for him at home when he would get back. Plus, it would also serve as a reminder that he might have a personal assistant, but you were the woman who was deserving of his attention. You didn’t actually worry about him being unfaithful, you fully trusted him, but you still had your doubts about whether or not Tracy would try and flirt with him. You barely knew the woman after all. As you tried on lingerie set after lingerie set, you snapped a few pictures and ended up having a little fun photo shoot. God bless good iPhone cameras, mirrors and timers. With a bit of color editing, the pictures looked even better. You sent one to Marshall, with the caption : « Good luck for your meetings. Miss you already. Can’t wait for you to be home ❤️ ».  Within a few minutes, he answered. 

From M❤️ : Can’t wait to be home either. Better not be wearing anything else when I get back. 

You chuckled and decided to tease him a little more, with pictures of other sets. You were curious to know what his favorite one was. There were so many options, from cute and simple bras with matching panties to more intricate things with corsets or garter belts…  

From M❤️ : Got told off by Paul for not paying attention. You’re getting me in trouble… 

To M❤️ : oops. Sorry for distracting you, my love. I’ll go and put some ugly sweats right away 👀 

From M❤️ : don’t you dare. 

You giggled and carried on with your little picture-taking, sending him the best ones. He didn’t reply much, but at least you knew he enjoyed it. It was the middle of the afternoon and you were casually chilling in the bedroom, in your finest lingerie with music playing loud on a portable speaker you had found in the living room. Not too bad for a Monday. You had just taken a cute selfie and we’re trying to edit it when you felt a presence. Before you could turn and check, you felt a hand firmly grasping your waist. You let out a scream of terror before another hand covered your mouth and you heard a giggle in your ear. It was Marshall. You immediately relaxed and turned to face him. 

You scared me ! You whined. 

I yelled at you but your music was too loud, he said with a grin before turning off the speaker. 

I thought I was being attacked, for a second ! 

Babe, it’s a gated community with security and cameras everywhere, you’re safe, he chuckled. Believe me, if my paranoid ass feels safe, it is safe. 

You giggled and kissed him before checking the time on your phone. It was 3:45PM. You looked at him in disbelief. You definitely didn’t expect him home this early, not that you were going to complain. 

Aren’t you supposed to be at work ? You asked. 

Called off the last two meetings, he said with a smile. If anyone asks, I’m feeling under the weather. Couldn’t focus anyway. I wonder why that is… 

Oops, you said as you blushed a bit. Am I in trouble ? 

Depends, he chuckled. Do I get to see more pictures ? 

You really suck at negotiating, you giggled. You could ask for a runway show and all you want are lousy pics ? 

He smiled and firmly grabbed your waist to pull you in for a deep kiss. His hands wandered around your body as your tongues found each other. 

You look incredible, he complimented. Your pictures drove me crazy. 

Glad to know there’s a way to get you to get back early, you said teasingly. I’ll remember that. 

I’ll be in trouble if that happens too much, he chuckled. But please feel free to send more of these pics… 

He pulled you closer and you could feel him being rock hard through his jeans. Knowing you were the cause gave you quite the ego boost and you felt quite proud. You kissed him and ran your hands on his chest. Even when he was wearing a tee-shirt, you could see the outline of his pecs and it was enough to drive you crazy. You gently squeezed one pec and he leaned into your touch while one of his hands cupped your butt cheek. 

So… do I get my runway show ? He asked with a smirk. 

Only because I’m a good girl and I don’t want to get in trouble, you said with a wink. 

You proceeded to try on a few of the items you hadn’t tried yet. The first was a black bodysuit with a lace up back, which wasn’t showing much but was giving glamorous vibes. The second was an opulent set with black lace and dainty chains, completed with a black waspie. As soon as he saw you, Marshall’s eyes widened. His mouth was slightly agape while he was staring. 

Do you like it ? You asked with a smile. 

You’re perfect, he said. These were fucking made for you. I think that’s my favorite set right here. 

Is it ? You asked teasingly. I should take a pic, so that I can send it to you next time you’re in a meeting… so you can remember me. 

I’ll take it for you, he said with a smirk as he grabbed your phone. 

You got on the bed and posed for him as he smiled and tried to take a decent shot, trying different angles. You teased him and bit your lip while you ran your hands over your breast, gently pinching your nipples through the fabric. 

You’re so hot, he groaned. I swear I could film you… 

You can do it, you said flirtingly. 

Are you serious ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Sure, why not, you nodded as you kept on stroking your breast and caressing the rest of your own body, teasing him with your eyes. 

His blue eyes were devouring you and you absolutely loved it. His look was one of pure adoration, mixed with desire. This prompted you to put on a little show for him. You sat at the edge of the bed and started touching yourself on top of the lacy underwear that was covering you. Your fingers circled your clit and you could feel just how wet you were, simply from knowing how aroused Marshall was. You kept on looking him in the eyes as you pleasured yourself. He was still holding the phone, staring at you, while his free hand was mindlessly palming his crotch. You looked at him with a devilish grin and walked to him before dropping on your knees. 

What are y-? He began asking. 

Shhhh. Just keep filming and enjoy, you said with a smirk. 

You unbuckled his belt and managed to get him out of his pants and boxers. You stroked his erection, your touch making him sigh in pleasure. Precum was already dripping from the tip and you couldn’t resist licking it, gently teasing the head of his cock with your tongue as you kept on stroking him. His hand that wasn’t holding the phone went to the back of your head, gently encouraging you to keep going and you took that as you cue to start sucking, which caused him to moan and slur a few obscenities. You weren’t sure if it was the camera pointed at you, his unusually vocal response or the lingerie that had you feeling so confident, but you loved it. You stared at him as you kept on sucking him, trying to take him in as much as you could. He started bucking his hips while praising you for taking him so well. You had a bit of a gag reflex but kept going until the tip of your nose was touching his pubes. Tears were welling in your eyes but you loved hearing him moan. It was music to your ears. His hips started thrusting faster as the hold he had on your head tightened. You weren’t sure you could keep going for long and, for the briefest of moments, you were almost scared that you were going to choke. He stopped and looked at you, phone still in hand. 

Bed. All fours. Now, he said. 

Yes sir, you giggled playfully before doing as he said. 

Hold this for me, he said as he handed you the phone so that he could shed the rest of his clothes. 

When he was completely naked, he grabbed a condom from the nightstand and put it on before taking the phone back as he pushed your thong aside and positioned himself at your entrance. You let out a gasp when he entered you and immediately started moving at a frantic pace. Unlike most of the time, he did not give you time to get used to his size but you did not really mind - you liked the roughness. His hand was firmly holding your hip, his fingers slightly digging in your skin. In this instant, you belonged to him and you were his to use as he pleased. He was pounding hard into you as you moaned his name, tears still rolling on your cheeks from trying to deepthroat a few minutes earlier. 

Fuck it, he groaned. 

You heard a “plop”, it was your phone being carelessly thrown onto the bed and bouncing God knows where. Marshall’s now free hand found your waist. He was now firmly holding you, thrusting like a piston. 

I-I’m coming, you warned. 

Yes baby, he groaned. Come for me. 

You both exploded in an orgasm at the same time and Marshall collapsed onto you, letting out a small grunt as his head hit your shoulder. You stayed in the unlikely position for a couple of minutes, taking the opportunity to catch your breath. You were panting and you could feel his strong heartbeat in your back. You buried your face in the sheets and enjoyed the warmth of his breath on your skin. 

You are fucking incredible, he said. 

You too, you said. God, that was so intense. 

Too much ? He asked. 

Just enough, you said with a smile. Perfect. You know I like it a little rough. 

You’re also a little kinky, he pointed out. 

Maybe, you admitted with a giggle. 

He placed a small kiss on your shoulder and changed position so that he could properly lay next to you. He looked at you with a soft smile and placed a strand of hair behind your ear. You couldn’t resist kissing him. 

You are so hot, he said. I swear to God, I have never, ever been more turned on by anyone. 

Really ? You grinned. 

God, the pics, actually seeing you wear this, and then filming you ?! Babe, you are… wow, he said. 

I guess I was feeling a little frisky today, you giggled. 

I’ve noticed, he said with a grin. What got into you ? 

I don’t know, you shrugged. I mean… the lingerie got me feeling all sexy and… I always wanted to try filming, so… 

Really ? He asked. 

I mean… yeah, I was curious, you admitted. What ? Do you think it’s weird ? 

No, he shrugged. Not at all. You’re just a little kinkier than I thought, I guess. Not that I’m complaining. 

I guess I am kinky, you said with a smile.

He let out a small laugh as he stretched and got rid of the condom before laying back on the bed. 

What ? You asked, worrying that he might be making fun of you. 

Nothing. It’s just kind of funny. I guess you don’t really come across as the kinky type, you know ? When I met you there was no way I would have thought you enjoyed being filmed and stuff. 

Do I look that vanilla ? 

Frankly ? Yes, he laughed. But hey, I love your kinky side too. It’s a pleasant surprise. Makes me wonder what else turns you on. I realize there’s a shit ton I don’t know about you. 

It’s true, I haven’t been too daring in bed, so far, you admitted. 

Why ? He asked. Didn’t you feel comfortable enough with me ? 

It’s not that. I guess I wasn’t in the mood for kinky stuff at that particular time ? You tried to explain. I mean, getting to sleep with you is enough for me. I enjoy vanilla sex just as much. 

He hummed in response, still staring at you. As if he was waiting for you to elaborate. 

It’s true - we’ve been pretty vanilla so far, he said. 

How about you ? You asked. Any kinks you want to tell me about ? 

Hey. We were talking about yours. Don’t change the subject, he said. 

Are you feeling uneasy ? You asked. 

Maybe a little, he admitted. 

We don’t have to have that conversation if you don’t want to, you said as you kissed his jaw. 

Oh but I do want to have it, he said. I want to know about you. Go first and maybe I’ll tell you about me, he added with a grin. 

Let’s see… I feel like that’s pretty basic you know ? I like it rough but I don’t know if it registers as a kink ? Maybe it does. I mean… I’ve never really got to take it as far as I want to, so, I don’t know, you said. I haven’t had too many partners, and I’ve never felt confident enough to try all the things I want to. 

Really ? 

Yeah. I mean, it takes a certain amount of comfort in a relationship, you said. 

I guess, he admitted. 

Plus, you know, I had my first boyfriend when I was 18, and he is the first person I ever slept with. It lasted about three years and we never tried anything crazy. Then there was Simon. We were together for a while but we didn’t explore much. It was mostly light spanking, hair-pulling, but that’s all. Then Josh, but we didn’t do much. And then… you. 

How far did you go with Josh ? 

Foreplay, you said. 

He hummed, his eyes darkening. 

What ? You asked, I answer, you said. 

That motherfucker, Marshall commented. 

You really hated him, didn’t you ? You asked. 

Hate is a strong word, he said. But yeah, I wasn’t his biggest fan. He didn’t deserve you. 

He was nice and caring, you pointed out. That’s more than a lot of dudes. 

He was kind of stupid and he put you in danger, Marshall said flatly as he referred to the salsa bar incident that had led you to the hospital. 

You know it wasn’t his fault, you said as you rolled your eyes. I think you’re being a bit jealous here. 

Maybe I am, he admitted. I must say it was not the most fun time for me, when you dated him. I was trying hard not to be all over you, and he was the one who got to kiss you, take you on dates and everything. 

You are the one who got the girl in the end, you reminded him, which caused him to smile. 

The kinky girl, he added. Let’s not get lost here… I want to know stuff. So… slept with three people and that’s it ? 

Well, no. I only dated three people before you. I did sleep with a couple more people though. Girls actually. 

Oh I didn't know you liked girls, he said surprised. 

Yeah, I’m bi. I never dated a girl though. They’re too impressive, you said with a laugh. Men are easier to get, I think. 

Have you ever had a threesome ? He asked. 

That’s on my « list » but no, never. I’d be into that, though, you admitted. Any type of threesome. Or more than that, who knows ? But yeah, I think it could be fun. And I wouldn’t want to die stupid and ignorant you know ? 

Right, he chuckled. Though I must admit that in my opinion, it’s a bit overhyped. 

You’ve had threesomes ? 

A bunch of times, yeah, he shrugged. I mean, I get a lot of opportunities on tour. I’ve had threesomes, foursomes, moresomes… 

You looked at him with curiosity. You figured that, given his age and occupation, he must have had a lot of experiences, but you didn’t really know how far he had taken it. You were kind of curious and there were a lot of questions you wanted to ask. 

Did you enjoy it ? You asked. 

I mean… Yeah, he said. That was a point in my life when I wanted to get all the pussy I could, so in that regard, that was fun. Though there’s something about the logistics. Threesomes are fine but when there’s more people or an actual orgy, there’s a lot going on at the same time so you can’t really focus, you know what I mean ? But yeah, that was exciting. I mean, I did get a lot of opportunities and propositions, a while ago. 

I bet you still do, you said. 

Not really, he chuckled. I mean, with the level of security that I have, it’s hard to get to me anyway so there’s not a lot of people who can actually proposition me, you know ? Back in the day, we were more lenient with security and letting people hang out with us after shows. But regardless, my interest in that is different. 

You’re still a regular horndog, you giggled. 

True, he said with a smile. But getting sober made a big difference when it comes to my approach to sex and intimacy in general. 

I have so many questions, you said. 

Me first, he reminded you. 

Fine, you said as you rolled your eyes. What do you want to know ? 

Mmmh… How rough do you mean, when you say you like it rough ? Marshall asked. 

I don’t know, you said. I haven’t tested a lot of things yet, so I think I’d like to push my limits and test stuff. I wouldn’t necessarily want to get punched in the face, but being shoved against a wall, the ground and roughhousing ? Yes, absolutely. 

Ok, he said with a nod as if he was making a mental note. What else ? 

Let’s see… Well I wanted to try being filmed and we did that, so I guess we can cross that off my list… 

You’d never done that before ? He asked. 

Never. 

He smiled at you with pride and his grin made you scoff. Male ego at its peak. 

I wouldn’t say I’m into exhibition, but I wouldn’t mind trying stuff in public either, you added. I think the fear of getting caught can be really exciting. Other than that there’s… uh… submission. 

Really ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Yeah, you confessed shyly. I think it’s really really hot when your partner takes control. Especially of you’re the partner. 

You could feel the heat in your cheeks and you were pretty sure your face was crimson red at this point, but there was something about Marshall, his aura, his natural charisma, his voice that called to your submissive nature. It had never been the case with anyone else, only him. 

Me ? He asked with a smirk. 

Oh yeah, you admitted. When you get that deep voice… ? God… 

You got lost in your thoughts for a second. The mere idea of Marshall domineering you was turning you on. 

Keep going, he said. I want to know more. 

I think that’s it, actually, you said with a smile. I mean, I haven’t done a lot of research either. I just want to explore stuff and have fun. 

I guess we might be able to try some stuff together, if you’re up for it, he said before kissing you. 

Really ? You asked in excitement. 

Sure, he chuckled. I mean, I wouldn’t consider myself like much of a dominant, but if you wanted me to try, I might give it a go. 

Ok, you said softly. 

The idea of being able to explore sexuality and furthering your intimacy made you really happy. You had never felt so safe with any of your partners before. You trusted this man with all of your heart and soul. 

What else would you be willing to try ? You asked giddily. 

What was on the list again ? He asked. 

Hum… Threesomes ? I mean, you’ve done it before so it wouldn’t be anything new to you, you said. 

I don’t know about this one, he admitted. 

Oh, ok, you said. 

I mean, I’m not sure how I feel about sharing you, he explained. Given the right opportunity and person, it’s not a firm and definitive no, but… Yeah, I don’t know. But threesomes can be fun, for sure. 

Ok, you agreed. That makes sense. But if it were to happen, like, hypothetically, you’d rather have it be with another woman, right ? 

Absolutely, he said. I’m definitely straight and I understand that a woman might want to have two men with her but… No way I’m sharing you with another dude. Not happening. Sorry babe. 

That’s fine, you giggled. Just testing the water here. So, when you had threesomes and all, it was just girls ? 

Yep, he chuckled. My ex is bi so she would have girls over and that’s how it would happen, most of the time. 

You were in an open marriage ? You asked. 

Not really, he chuckled. Though there was so much cheating that it might as well have been an open marriage, I guess. Let’s just say I was more lenient if she hooked up with girls and especially if it could benefit me as well… 

Ok, you said with a smile. My turn, now ? 

Fire away, he said. 

Are you sure you’re straight ? You asked cockily. Like, have you ever been with a man ? 

I have, he said casually. 

Really ?! 

You were in shock. You definitely weren’t expecting that and your question was actually a joke. You didn’t have a problem with it, obviously, but seeing as he had been portrayed as homophobic in the past, you didn’t think he would have given it a try. 

Can I ask questions about that ? You asked. 

I guess, he shrugged. I mean, I don’t think I have really talked about it but I trust you so, yeah, go ahead. But there’s nothing to say, really. 

When was it ? 

Uh… Twenty years ago, I’d say ? He replied after taking some time to think. So, yeah, it was a while ago. When I performed with Elton John at the Grammys… 

NOOOOOO ?! You almost yelled. 

Your mouth was wide open and you were almost in shock. Had your boyfriend really slept with Elton John ?!?! He immediately burst into a fit of laughter, so much so that he was actually crying. 

You should see your face, he said as he tried to catch his breath. Fuck, you’re so gullible, babe. 

You’ve been leading me on, haven’t you ? You asked with a grin. You’ve never tried guys. 

Oh no, that part was true, he chuckled. It happened after the Grammys but it wasn’t with Elton. He’s great, he’s a friend but it wasn’t him. I don’t think I remember the guy’s name though. In my defense, I was high. 

So, what happened ? You asked. Hooked up with a guy and didn’t like it ? 

Basically, yeah, he said. The guy looked good and I though “If I ever have to be attracted by a man, I think that would be someone like this”, so when he flirted and made a pass at me, I went for it. He was cool and an ok kisser, but the hookup was a disaster. If you can even call it that. I was fucking high but that sobered me up and I knew right then and there : straight. 1000%. 

At least you know for sure, you giggled. 

Exactly, he chuckled. Next question ? 

Do you have any kinks ? 

Not so many, he said. I’ve tried a lot of stuff, out of curiosity and for the sake of experience but I’m not into freaky, kinky stuff. I’m a simple man. But I suppose it depends on what you call a kink ? 

I don’t even know, you giggled. I should have done my research if I had known I’d get to quiz you. 

Find a list and I’ll tell you whether or not I’m into it, he shrugged. 

You grabbed your phone and took the first list you found - there went the purity of your web browser. 

Age play ? Like “daddy-dominant-little-girl” ? 

Absolutely not. Being called daddy in bed is a huge turn-off. Maybe it’s a Dad thing, I don’t know. Not to kink-shame but I think it’s sort of twisted you know ? He said. 

You have called me “babygirl” before though, you pointed out with a smile. 

Yeah but I don’t see it in the same way. Probably a double-standard he admitted. 

Let’s see… Bondage ? You asked. 

I don’t mind it. It can be fun but not a necessity. 

Blindfold sex ? 

Hate it, he said. I love being able to look at my partner. I think I’m pretty visual when it comes to sex. As for blindfolding people… maybe. Once again, it can be fun once in a while. 

So no blindfolding you, you noted. Cuckholding ? 

Is that shit alphabetised ? He asked with a laugh. Cuckholding is a no for me. First, because I don’t do humiliation, secondly because I’m not big on sharing. 

Yes it’s alphabetised, you smiled. 

I do enjoy that. I know it’s not a kink but I like things in order. 

Good to know, you chuckled. Claustrophilia ? 

It depends. I’ve had sex in elevators, closets and airplane bathrooms, so I think it counts. You ? 

Never thought of it but I’m not against it, you said with a wink. 

Good to know. Glad I can easily get a jet for us to try that, too…

You chuckled once again. You liked learning more about him. 

Dominance we have already talked about… how about DIY porn ? You asked. That’s the next item on the list. 

Didn’t we just do that ? He asked back. 

Yeah but how did you feel about it ? 

It was fun. I’m not even sure I did a great job with the filming though. But I guess it’ll be fun to have the video as a memory if i’m ever away from you and horny, he stated. 

Electrostimulation ? 

Nope.

Erotic Asphyxiation ? 

They could have put that in the B section under “Breathplay” he commented. I don’t really like being choked but if you want me to do it to you, sure. Safely, of course. 

Both his alphabetical comment and the statement made you smile. 

Foot fetish ? 

Nope. A girl asked me to try that once but I didn’t like it. 

Food play ? 

It can be fun but I’m not big on it. Next ? 

Gagging ? 

Not for me, no. You ? 

No thanks, you said. I don’t really mind if I gag a little during a blowjob, though. But not voluntarily. 

I do like the idea of making you gag with my cock, he confessed with a little grin. Next ? 

Gerontophilia ? 

Nothing against the elderly but that’s not a kink for me, he said. But I’m sure I’ll find you sexy as fuck when you’re an old lady though. 

Thanks, you laughed. We’ve covered humiliation already… how about impact play ? Like hitting ? 

I don’t really want to be hit or spanked, he said. You ? 

I think I’d like to try, you said. I’ve been spanked before but I’d gladly try more. 

As long as I’m not physically hurting you…, he said. 

You could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. 

Are you alright ? You asked immediately. 

Yeah, no, I’m good, he said dryly. I just… well we might as well talk about it… 

What’s wrong ? We can stop this conversation if you’re not ok, baby, you said. 

It’s fine, he said. It’s just… in the past, Kim and I got physical a couple of times. I mean, you probably know about that, because of the media and I’ve written songs about it. It’s never been to a point where I was actually beating her down, but we’ve definitely hit each other a number of times. But thinking about that… it’s hard because it’s one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made, you know ? That’s not the person I want to be. 

That’s not the person you are either, you said softly. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

I’d rather kill myself than hurt you, he stated in all seriousness.

You looked at him and his stern expression. You gently stroked his hand. 

I trust you and I know you’ll never hurt me, you said. 

You don’t think I’m an asshole who deserves hell for what I’ve done ? He asked pensively. 

I don’t. I mean, I’ll never condone domestic violence and if you ever lay a hand on me in circumstances that aren’t sexual, I’ll leave, that’s for sure. I’ll never say it’s ok that you hit your ex, but it’s also in the past and I know you have changed. So I trust you and I don’t think you deserve to suffer. I can see on your face that you suffer enough from the memories. 

I deserve to, he said sternly. 

Sorry, you said. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought up impact play. If it triggers you, we’ll never try it. 

If you want to try, maybe we can keep it on the soft side, he said. But yeah… I don’t think I’d be ready to really hit you too hard. Even if you begged for it. 

We can stop the list there, if you want, you said. I mean… I love talking about that with you but I’d be happy to just cuddle and go to bed, you know ? 

Nah, it’s good. Keep the list going. I like learning stuff about you, he said with a smile. 

Ok, so… interrogation play ? 

Not really. 

Japanese bondage like shibari ? 

Not my stuff either. I get the hype but it’s too intricate and I don’t have time for that shit, he said with a grin. It’s really sexy to see though. 

Klismaphilia ? You asked. 

What the fuck even is that ? He asked laughingly. 

It’s Greek and it means… oh… it’s enemas. 

Ah. Then no. Absolutely not, he said. 

Me neither. How about Katoptronophilia ? It’s masturbating in front of a mirror. 

Nope. 

How about masochism ? You asked. 

Down to M already ? No, I'm not a masochist. 

Reading the description I might be into that, you commented. It’s enjoying pain so… maybe I’m a bit of a masochist after all, you shrugged. 

Yeah ? Well as I said… as long as I don’t mistreat you… I guess I can pull your hair and spank you gently, he said with a smile. 

Sounds fine, you said with a smile. Next on the list is… Melolagnia, you added with a grin. I think I’ve just discovered a new kink of mine. 

What is that ? 

I’ll read it to you : “ Melolagnia is a fetish that involves being turned on by music. This doesn’t simply mean having a go-to Spotify playlist when you have sex, but rather experiencing strong sexual reactions in response to music and also fantasizing about certain songs or genres. The arousal can derive from a combination of the musical elements including the singer’s voice, beat, repetition, or even the quality of the composition, all of which can lead to physical sensations like goosebumps, a faster heartbeat, or even more natural sexual lubrication.” You quoted. 

Oh wow. Didn’t know that existed, he said. But yeah music turns me on. You ? 

Oh, definitely, you said blushing and attempting to hide your face. 

Why are you suddenly so red and looking away ? He asked with a grin. Any songs I should know about ? 

Shut up, you muttered. 

Come on, Y/N. Tell me. 

No. You’ll never let me live it down, you said. 

As long as it’s not MGK, that should be fine, he joked. 

Come on… 

Tell me ! What ? Is it an artist I’ve had beef with ? Mariah ? Christina Aguilera ? Ja Rule ? Please don’t say Ja Rule… 

I’m not having this conversation, you said, embarrassed. 

Now that I know you like domination, I can make you talk, woman, he said as he put a finger underneath your chin. 

You wouldn’t, you mumbled. 

Try me. 

Your eyes met his. He stared at you. 

Tell me, he said in his deep, authoritarian voice. 

“Not fair”, you thought, definitely turned on but unable to speak. 

Do I know them ?

You nodded. 

Is it a friend of mine ? Dre ? 50 ? He asked as you were unable to make a sound. Then who ? Tell. Me. 

There went the voice again. 

It’s… you. 

You spoke so softly, hoping he wouldn’t catch it. Unfortunately for you, he did. 

Ah, he said with a grin, trying not to laugh. 

Don’t judge me, you muttered. 

Well it depends… is there a song in particular ? He asked softly. 

Do we have to have this conversation ? You asked as you rolled your eyes. 

Come on babe, it’s fun. And it’s flattering. I’m glad you think my music can be sexy. 

Marshaaaaall…

Please ? 

He was looking at you with adorable puppy eyes. 

Fine, you grumbled. Superman. And Heat, too. You happy ? 

You hid your face in your hands in embarrassment. You heard him scoff and he gently kissed your shoulder. 

Come on, it’s fine. It’s not as if you had said FACK, you know ? Then I probably would have laughed in your face. But Superman… ? I sort of get it. I mean, it’s kind of the intention we had when we recorded. Heat too. I mean, it’s in the title. So it’s fine, babe. 

You don’t think I’m a weird groupie ? You asked. 

Of course not. I think you’re the cutest thing ever, right now. And I can definitely sing those for you sometime, he said with a grin. Let’s just not play one of my albums while we fuck, ok ? I’m not that much of an egomaniac. 

Mmmh. 

Let’s get back to the list, he said as he took the phone from your hand. So… Nylons ? No. Nebulophilia - steam and fog ? Neither. Oh… objectum sexuality. You like toys ? 

I have a couple, you admitted. You ? 

Yeah, a couple too. Though I don’t use them much. But we could definitely have fun with that, he said. 

Sure, why not.  What’s next ? 

Uh… pregnancy fetish. 

Well I’m attracted to women but not pregnant ones, you stated. I get that the creation of life can be beautiful and stuff, but they look like aliens to me. 

Yeah ? Well I have to admit… I don’t want anymore kids because I’m all done with that and too old for that shit anyway but… yeah, I think pregnancy is sexy, he admitted. I mean, I sort of have a breeding kink.

Really ? You asked in shock. 

Yep. Never been more attracted to my ex than when she was pregnant, he said. 

Was that because she was carrying your baby ? You asked. 

No, not even that. I mean, that plays a big part in the appreciation, but Stevie isn’t technically mine and still, when Kim was pregnant with her… I found her so hot. 

Ok, you said. 

You’d had the kids' conversation before and you were ready to give that up, but him saying that kind of made you regret the fact that you’d never be pregnant anymore. 

You ok baby ? He asked when you went silent. 

Sure, you said softly. I’m just thinking… I’ll never get pregnant again, so… I’ll never get to experience this kind of attraction from you to me, you know ? 

Doesn’t matter, baby. I’m always attracted to you. You’re my kink and fetish, you yourself, he said. 

Yeah ? You asked. 

Of course. Plus, I may have a pregnancy fetish but it’s not that much. Like, I’m not going to jump on every pregnant lady I see like some sort of creep. And I’m not crazy to the point of dealing with 20 years of consequences for 9 months of kink. 

Makes sense, you chuckled. So if my belly gets too round because of pizza, that’ll turn you on ? 

I don’t know, he said as he burst out in laughter. Probably not though. I like your belly just the way it is. 

Ok then. Next item ? 

Public sex, he said. That’s a no for me. Obviously. I can’t risk it. Then we have… Quirofilia, the fetish for hands. I don’t really have that either. 

Good. I’ll save on getting my nails done, you joked. 

No, you can still do that. I mean, I love seeing your pretty hands… especially on some places… but it’s just not really a kink. Also, nail biting turns me off. 

Really ? 

Yup. Next is… role play. What do you think about that ? He asked. 

Not really my thing, you said. But if it’s something you like, I’ll give it a try. 

It’s not really my thing either, he said with a smile. Robot fetish ? 

Nope, you replied. You ? 

Neither. I mean, I guess that if I was single and really in need, I’d love to get a sex robot, but the idea doesn’t really turn me on, he said. 

Yeah, you’re just a guy, you teased. 

Probably, he admitted with a laugh. Next is spectrochilia. Do you believe in ghosts ? 

Not really. But if they were to exist, they’d be more scary than sexy to me, you said. 

I agree. Then we have Stygiophilia. That’s a good one, he said. The pleasure of the idea of going to hell or facing eternal punishment. I guess I’d better get going on that one because there’s no way I’m going to heaven so… 

Don’t be silly. Of course you’ll go to heaven. You’re the best human I know, you said. 

Do you even believe in God he asked ? 

Depends. In times of despair, I hope he exists and hears my prayers. Plus, when I look at the marvel of the universe, I think it’s not something random… but I’ve never even read any sacred text or anything, so, not really. How about you ? 

I’d say I’m a Christian, he simply stated. Not churchy or anything, but yeah, I’ve read the Bible and I believe in God. 

I didn’t know that, you said. 

I don’t talk about it a lot. What’s the point ? Everyone has their beliefs. 

True. What’s next ? 

Tentacles. Nope. 

Me neither, you said.

Trichophilia - are you attracted to hair ? 

Are you kidding ? I’m a girl born in the 90s. If anything I’ve been taught to despise it, you said with a laugh. You ? 

Not attracted to it, nope. But I’m also not one of those guys who is disgusted by it. It’s just… hair. 

What’s next ? 

Urophilia. That’s a no for me. You ? 

Neither. 

Thank God. I mean… if you had been into it, I would have respected it, but there’s no way I could be involved in it. 

Yeah it’s gross. Let’s change the subject. What’s next ? You asked. 

Underwear. Well, you know I have a thing for lingerie, obviously, he chuckled. How about you ? 

I like lingerie too, you said with a smile. As for male underwear, I don’t really care, but I like your boxers. 

Then we have… Voyeurism, he said. 

Oh I’m not a voyeur, you said. If anything I am scared to catch anyone I know in the middle of sex. 

Same, he chuckled. But I have to admit that seeing you touch yourself is the hottest thing ever. That gets me really horny, really fast. 

Really ? You asked. 

Fuck yeah, he said. Remember the night I told you I loved you ? 

You blushed at the memory. The whole thing had been caused by his very own sex scene in 8 Mile, of all things. 

I like masturbating for you, you said softly. And I kind of like watching you masturbate too. 

So kind of a voyeur too I guess ? He said. 

I guess. Next ?

Vicarphilia - that’s the… oh, the arousal of hearing someone talk about their sec life. What do you think of that ? 

I guess that can be sexy. Never thought of it before. But talking about sex is sexy anyway. 

True, he said. Even casually like right now… it’s kind of cool and sexy, he admitted. Then we have whips. Once again, not too keen on those. 

Oh, ok, you said. 

You ?

I wouldn’t have minded trying but it’s not necessarily on my list either, you said earnestly. Next ? 

« Wet and messy », he said with a laugh. I do love when you’re all wet and messy.

Isn’t that one about wet food like jell-o though ? You asked. I always thought it’s kind of gross though. 

Oh yeah, he said upon reading the description. Then no, that’s not my thing. Wax play ? 

Maybe, you said. I like the idea of massage candles and stuff. 

Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, he agreed. Then we have yoni eggs. I don’t have a vagina so I don’t really have an opinion on that one, I have to say. 

Yeah… not my thing, you said with a grimace. 

Zappers ? He asked. Like electro-stimulation ? Yup, no thanks. 

It sounds scary, you said as he nodded. 

And there’s the last item on the list : Zentai. Like the latex body suits, he stated. 

Not sure I’d like it, you said. 

Same here. I mean, you’d look hot in one though, but I’ll survive if I never see it. 

That’s it ? We’re done ? 

We’re done, he said. Unless you have more questions for me ? To be fair I asked you a lot of them too. 

You took a second to think. Of course you had tons of questions you’d like to ask him. After all, he was a worldwide renown superstar, so you assumed he must have crazy stories to tell. 

Do you know exactly how many people you have had sex with ? You asked. 

I should have known this one was coming, he chuckled. No, I genuinely have no idea. Anything else ? 

Do you miss the era when you were… you know… getting a lot of action ? Instead of just having one partner ? 

No, he said with a smile. It was fun for a while but it wasn’t fulfilling. When you don’t have a lot of opportunities, you fantasize about it and you think it’s going to be the best thing ever, but you don’t actually get to build a connection with someone, you know ? And the sex is so much better when you have that. Especially with you. 

Do you really like our sex life ? You asked. 

Of course, he scoffed. What ? Do I look like I don’t ? 

No, you said with a smile. But sometimes I worry that I’m not… experienced enough for you. 

You don’t have to worry about that, baby, he said as he took you in his arms. I love fucking you, making love to you… It’s great. Are you happy with our sex life ? 

Of course, you replied. I mean… You already know you’re the best I have ever had. And I love that we’re able to talk about it, too. Thank you for opening up to me, my love. 

I like talking to you, he said. Now, how about a shower ? I’m all sweaty. 

You nodded and you went to the bathroom where you showered together, kissing and exchanging love words. After, you lounged in the living room, mindlessly watching TV as he told you about his day and his meetings. 

How did the meeting with Tracy go, by the way ? You asked. 

Went well, he said with a smile. We talked for a bit and she said she actually feels comfortable to keep working with me, so that’s one less thing to worry about. I would hate it if I had to hire someone else. Sorry, babe, I know you would have loved to see her go. 

I never said that, you defended yourself. 

I know you too well, he chuckled. You don’t have to worry, though. About how she feels about me, I mean. We cleared the air and she said she was just feeling super lonely. 

Do you believe her ? You asked as you squinted. 

I do, he replied. So you don’t have to worry about anything, ok ? 

Ok, you shrugged. I mean, I trust you. By the way, have you slept with anyone else from your team ? 

No, he chuckled. Just her. Why ? Are you jealous ? 

I’m not, you said. But I just want to know if I risk running into someone who’s slept with you, you know ? 

You should be fine, he chuckled. I mean, you don’t risk meeting any ex of mine besides Tracy. Oh, and Kim, obviously. But that’s it ? 

Why would I meet Kim ? You asked confused. 

Well, she’s going to be here at Thanksgiving, he shrugged - as if it were no big deal. 

You looked at him with a confused look. You had agreed to celebrate Thanksgiving together this year, with his family. It sort of made sense, since the two were living together anyway. However, you had absolutely no idea that it would imply meeting his ex - the infamous Kim Scott. The one that people considered as Marshall’s one true love. You were so taken aback that you had no control over your facial expression. 

Anything wrong ? He asked after a few seconds of silence. 

You didn’t tell me that when we talked about Thanksgiving, you pointed out. 

I thought I did, he shrugged. 

I think I would remember if my boyfriend told me his ex-wife would be here, you said sternly. 

Sorry, babe, he said casually. Is that an issue ? 

I mean… yeah, you said frankly. Why would you celebrate Thanksgiving with her anyway ? 

Because she is the mother of my children, he explained. It’s a family holiday.

But she is your ex. You’re divorced, you said. 

Yeah but we will always be family, you know ? He continued. It allows the girls to have both of their parents with them and not have to choose. Especially now that they all have boyfriends and spend holidays with their in-laws every other year. Plus, we’re good, you know ? We get along pretty well so it’s no big deal. 

Ok, you mumbled. I’ll just celebrate with Talia and Jamal, then. 

Not with me ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I was kind of looking forward to our first holiday together, babe. 

Me too, you admitted. But that was before I knew your ex would be here. 

Why would that change anything ? He asked. 

Because it changes everything, you said. How do you expect me to enjoy it if the woman you married - twice, mind you -, the mother of your children is here ? I’m going to be… intruding. 

No you wouldn’t, he said as he took your hand in his. You’re my girl, you’re the lady of this house. You can’t intrude in your own place. I want you here, with me. 

I don’t know, you said. I don’t feel comfortable. And I bet she wouldn’t either. 

She knows you’ll be here, he shrugged. And she doesn’t mind. I think she’s looking forward to meeting you actually. 

You stared at him in surprise. You definitely didn’t expect to spend your first holiday as Marshall’s girlfriend with his ex-wife being around. He didn’t seem phased by the situation, as if he didn’t see the problem. You, on the other hand, could smell the disaster from ten thousand miles away. Right when you thought you didn’t actually have to worry about another woman in Marshall’s life, you were about to meet his fucking ex-wife. What could go wrong ? Absolutely everything.

[shrimpalbuspotter]

What's the thing that stands out to you the most about albus and by extension his relationship with scorpius?

I'm gonna give 2 answers for this but they technically intermingle: One thing that stands out to me about Albus as a character, and one thing that stands out to me about his relationship with Scorpius.

Albus is a character who wears his emotions on his sleeve, even if he doesn't want to. This means we know alot about the motives behind his actions that run deeper than just "I want to save Cedric Diggory because my dad sucks." He's surly, self isolating, grumpy, and often seems rather anxious.

I think the thing that stands out the most to me is actually his relationships with others.

Albus has one friend, Scorpius. You can clearly see that Albus felt comfortable the moment he talked to him on the train, all awkward smiles and giggles. Then, when his cousin (who he grew up with), deemed he wasn't a good fit to be a friend and told Albus they were leaving, he outright denied her.

Cut to a while later, and Albus becomes a shut in. Its never explicitly shown but I take that when McGonagall called Albus "Isolated and surly" she was referencing to him refusing to make other friends. I don't doubt there were people who did try and befriend Albus despite him having a reputation, I just think Albus refused to give them the time of day. He had been laughed at and ridiculed by other students tons of times before, he learned to rely on gut feelings. If Albus doesn't immediately feel like he can trust you, he won't trust you, and it'll take a hell of a long time to change that due to his relentless stubborn. Plus his general opinion of the student body is already more terrible because he knows how everyone in Hogwarts feels about his bestfriend, who he deems more important than anyone else.

Cut yet again! Rose attempts to talk to Albus on the train to Hogwarts as they enter fourth year. Rose seems like she wants to make amends, trying to get Albus to talk to her and apologise, but Albus is still not having it. He sees through her, he knows his cousin. She'd never apologise herself, even if she knows she's wrong. Albus doesn't want to be pitied, and he also knows how rude Rose can be to Scorpius. So once again she's shut down.

Then we move on to him meeting Delphi, and there's something different. He seems slightly confused at first, but he relaxes as she talks. Albus sees this dorky, quirky lady, who talks about how people would make fun of her as a kid, and he automatically trusts her. It was definetly an odd feeling to have, because the only other person he'd felt that from was Scorpius, but Albus has an issue where he sets people he cares about on a pedestal and finds it almost impossible to imagine them doing any wrong, or expects them to always act a specific way. Delphi was in Albus' circle now, and he wanst planning to lose that.

But... then we notice something. Albus becomes slightly distant towards Scorpius whenever Delphi is around. He thinks he really likes her, and he knows she's practically a stranger but he swears there's this magnetic pull that just makes him want to be around her all the time. Scorpius is sort of jealous, but he's happy Albus has made a friend.

It's been pointed out before that majority of Delphis personality was took from Scorpius because she knew that would make Albus like her more. And it worked. She knows Albus find it difficult connecting with people he cant relate to, so she talked about her issues with expectations and not asking to be born into the family you were. (OK this is getting off topic let's go back on track).

In summary, how Albus finds it so incredibly difficult to connect with people then, when does, holds them so close to his heart, is what stands out most to me. Its crucial! Albus is not a person who trusts easily, but he takes great pride in those he can call his friend, even if it's few (cough ONE cough).

On that note... Answer 2. What stands out to me most about Scorpius and Albus's relationship? (Let's go the romantic route)

For me, its the way they are so different from every other ship. I don't think you can compare them to anything, because it won't be the same.

I see alot of people say its a parallel to Wolfstar but... it isn't. Alteast not how they'd be in canon. Because the Dynamics are completely different, and so are the characters personalities.

I think how unique their relationship is is what makes it so special. They were both misunderstood kids who realistically should've despised eachother just like their parents, but they didn't. They took comfort in eachothers presence and didn't care that everyone bullied them, because atleast they were together. Albus would end the world for Scorpius, and Scorpius would save the world for Albus. And it isn't even a Gryffindor/Slytherin relationship either! Which the fandom seems to like alot!

They are two bestfriends, from the same house, who would rather be with eachother than anyone else in the world. The closest thing to soulmates you're gonna get.

Anywhoooo that's my answerrr thank you for the ask anon I was in my feels beforehand and then I got to rant it all out on my favs

[24kmagiic]

I've been reading your fics for years and I gotta say I love how you write Bonnie. She's so fierce. How do you think Bonnie being with Klaus would influence her personality/character in canon?

First of all, thank you! I’m so happy you found joy in my fics and hope to continue them all. My musings for Bonnie have been so fickle recently.

So! To answer your question, I think being with Klaus would allow Bonnie to “unmask”. So much of her character has been suppressed so her true personality is sort of a mystery. We draw conclusions but what is actually canon? Bonnie went from being a quirky "mean/party girl" to being an uptight recluse in a span of five episodes so which one is the truth? In the first three episodes, she seemed fun, slightly immature, and dismissive of anything 'deep' and then she became a broody 'bitch' who's morally sound and incorruptible. I don't think that happens overnight with the discovery of the supernatural world but that's how they portrayed her because they didn't give a damn about her development. OR it could be that they changed the progression of her character at the last minute and didn't think anyone would notice. I did.

Klaus wouldn’t necessarily turn her into a “villain” as we love to fantasize, but by Bonnie suddenly creating and enforcing boundaries, along with an unwillingness to put on the brave front she usually does, it would feel (to them) like disrespect and they'd 1000% make her out to be villainous.

I think the box she’s been placed into would shatter and Bonnie would be faced with the fact that yes, she has simply been tolerated all these years by the only friends she’s ever known. I think this would cause her to lean on Klaus heavily and we may even see her codependency shift from Elena to him. Let’s face it, our girl is seriously co-dependent. Klaus would of course benefit from her codependency but it'd probably skeeve him out because as clingy a Klaus can be, I feel like he despises clinginess. He gives off Cancerian energy and, as a fellow cancer, I can attest to this. We can be clingy but you can't because, ew.

That said, Bonnie's codependency wouldn't look like what you'd normally expect when you think of your local co-dependent idiots. It's not following him around everywhere and doing everything he says.

It's harming herself for his benefit.

In the same way she was so eager to die for Elena, she'd try to do the same for Klaus except he would not allow it.

Bonnie sees NO value in her presence in other's lives. It's why she's so gungho to sign up for martyrdom. But not because she actually thinks that the world would be better with them in it. It's because she can't bear the thought of surviving without them.

Because in WHAT world do we benefit from Elena over Bonnie? Or Klaus over Bonnie? NONE. And if she digs deep, Bonnie knows that. But in HER world, they have to outlive her because she can't handle losing yet another person.

So on to the driving force behind her co-dependency. Abandonment and therefore, Abby and Rudy, and let's face it, Sheila. This girl has been abandoned three times in three different ways.

Before you hang me out to dry, forget I mentioned grams because I know you're chomping at the bits to correct me.

Abby represents physical abandonment and so does Rudy. The fact that you'd just up and leave your only child is beyond my comprehension but we've already beaten that dead horse so let's move straight into Rudy, the other dead horse.

While he was physically present some of the time, he was still gone a lot and did the bare minimum when it comes to children. Food, clothes, and shelter. Emotionally, he was completely gone. Showing up at the high school graduation after the hard work is over is such deadbeat behavior but again, the horse is dead, no need to whack it.

Now, take a deep breath and think about how I'm about to chop Sheila's ass up real quick.

This type of abandonment, I don't have a label for but it's so unique to Bonnie as a character that maybe by the end of it, I'll coin a catchy phrase.

Bonnie mentioned that Sheila was a drunk (even though the writers abandoned that idea) but let's go with it. As a product of TWO alcoholic parents, (who both came from alcoholic parents) I can attest that there is a unique form of abandonment that borders emotional, physical, and mental neglect.

Sheila had 16 years to help Bonnie wield her magic and defend herself against the great evils out there and instead, she chose to get drunk and 'ramble' about the occult. WHO is going to take a drunk person seriously about any of that? Family or not, ain't a soul out there that'll believe anything you say when you can't control your intake. It sounds like everything Bonnie knew, she had to piece together from the tidbits Sheila bothered to mention.

She left her granddaughter utterly defenseless and yeah, you can argue that she was following Rudy's wishes but guess what. RUDY WAS NEVER THERE! He left Bonnie in Sheila's care so if Sheila decided to teach her granddaughter magic, then what the hell was he going to do about it? Stay home?

I think Sheila used that as an excuse to shy away from the deeper issue which is her ultimately losing her own daughter to magic because Sheila never saw Abby again after she left Mystic Falls and I can imagine how painful that must have been but knowing the evils out there, it was completely neglectful to leave Bonnie defenseless.

Humans always operate in extremes. They go from one extreme to the next without ever addressing the root cause. Both Rudy and Sheila felt like they failed when it came to their relationship with Abby so they did the COMPLETE opposite with Bonnie and in turn, created a whole new network of problems. They are the root cause of our self-sacrificing, co-dependent queen because they were so focused on Abby that they never once considered Bonnie.

I tend to be long-winded as hell, my apologies. You're probably wondering, 'Well, what does all this have to do with Klonnie?' Well, I needed to explain my view of Bonnie before I could get into how I think her being with Klaus would affect her personality and character.

For the first time in her life, Bonnie would actually be considered. As boneheaded and selfish as Klaus is, when he's in love, he is surprisingly considerate and while all we truly got from him in canon was heavy admiration (cause he ain't love them hoes), it was a nice glimpse into what could have been for him.

Let's use his relationship with Hope when we reference Love.

First, let me say that the writers did a terrible disservice of having him abandon Hope for all them years but when he was there, he always looked out for her best interest. When Freya entertained the thought of Hope binding her wolf as Klaus's mother did to him, we got to see him fight for her even if Hope herself thought that's what she wanted. Klaus uniquely understood what that would do to Hope and did everything in his power to prevent it, including threatening to dispatch his own family.

As for Bonnie, no one understands abandonment on that show like Klaus Mikaelson and he would instantly catch on to Bonnie's toxic behavior pattern. He'd see right through the lies she'd weave and while it may have worked on Gilbert the Younger, it ain't fidna fly with Bad Ass Mikaelson, the man who carried his family around in coffins because they threatened to leave him or jeopardize their relationship.

The two of them are two sides of the same coin. Where Bonnie internalizes her abandonment issues, Klaus externalizes his. While Bonnie has an "I'd rather die young than live my life without you" approach to love; Klaus has an "I'll kill you and every mf in here before I let you go"' approach.

It'd be a very toxic paring at first but once they 'healed', they'd work so well because each of them has a love that the other has been looking for. Bonnie has been waiting for someone to fight for her whether she knows it or not. She wouldn't know how to handle it at first because it's too much and very dangerous but deep down, she'd feel relieved to finally know what it's like to be fought for. As for Klaus, he's been waiting for someone to give up everything to be devoted to him because in the past, people so easily discarded him to go after what they wanted and it was never him. He's always left behind in the grand scheme of others. Rebekah easily discards him for love. His mother bound him with a spell to hide her own transgressions, Elijah, though loyal, was always at risk of falling in love and detaching himself from Klaus and the threat alone was enough to drive Klaus to commit the most grisly murders.

So, again, to answer your question, simply put, I think they'd bring out the absolute worst in one another at first but not in the ways you'd expect. Like I said earlier, Klaus would force Bonnie to work on her boundaries in general because he's notorious for overstepping boundaries and he's the perfect punching bag to practice on. But once they got over the initial shock of one another and realized that they both (essentially) want the same things from one another, they'd mellow out.

I hope that somewhat answers your question. If you have any follow-up questions, please submit them because I definitely cut myself short for the sake of "brevity" lol.