#dick would definitely jump off a cliff

[yeagerbitchh]

[Barry coming into the room where Batman is lecturing Dick and Wally about being reckless and getting very little context clues about why] Bruce: It's always you two Barry, trying to support whatever Batman's saying: Yeah, seriously Wally, if Dick jumped off a cliff, would you jump too? Wally, that just jumped off a cliff because Dick did:... Wally: I have a feeling you're forgetting who you're asking this

[arachine]

૮(ˊ ᵔ ˋ)ა ... i'd follow you anywhere .ᐟ

ᥫ᭡ pairing :: neteyam sully x avatar! reader

ᥫ᭡ genre :: mature

ᥫ᭡ synopsis :: in which reader uses her new avatar body to finally show neteyam just how much she loves him… + based off of this thirst!

ᥫ᭡ general tags :: 18+ (explicit sexual content, explicit language), minimal angst (?), lots of fluff and banter lol

ᥫ᭡ content warnings :: characters aged up to 20, oral (m receiving), cum swallowing, dacryphilia (v tame), corruption

ᥫ᭡ word count :: 2.5k

ᥫ᭡ note :: guys this is what happens when i ask for thirsts!!! i get carried away and never know when to stop ;(( anyway, here, have this while i work on my annual dick analysis for jake & quaritch.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Shh, you’ll see, kitty boy,” you giggled, tightening your grip on his wrist.

Neteyam shakes his head, tongue in cheek. He could never say no to you—not that he wanted to…he always wanted to play with you. He’d follow you into the depths of hell, or whatever the na’vi equivalent of hell was. Yeah, he’d follow you there, he thinks—definitely.  

The boy relinquishes all of his motor skills to you, allowing you to drag his body further into the forest. He mirrors all of your agile movements, jumping when you jump, running when you run—and then you come to a halt, turning around quickly to face him. You’re so close—too close, the sudden proximity disrupting his equilibrium.

“Don’t go falling for me now,” you grab his forearm before he can fall, pulling him back up with a wink. He scoffs at this, mumbling something sly under his breath. You were always so quick-witted, with quick reflexes to match, too. To anyone else, this would be annoying, but to him, they were your most admirable traits. It’s what made him fall for you.

“Ha, ha, can you tell me what we are doing all the way out here now?” he raises his hands, gesturing to the clearing that you were now standing in. You smile wildly, pursing your lips together in avoidance. The boy reaches behind you to pull your tail, tickling your sides until you surrender.

“Okay, okay, just s-stop it already,” you belt out, “I wanna show you somethin’…gotta be nice to get it, though.” He retracts his hands, letting them fall slowly to his sides. Just what were you planning?

Grabbing his hand this time, you usher him to follow you with a tilt of your head. You lead him to a tree surrounded by shrubbery, a spot that, up until now, only you were privy to its whereabouts. The perfect place for privacy.

Letting go of his hand, you push him down to sit on the forest floor, with his back resting against the bark of the tree and you nestled between his legs. His pulse quickens. What was so important that you needed to drag him so deep into the forest? In such a secluded place, nonetheless. 

“I’ve been wanting to try this with you for a while,” you start, voice so low, just barely above a whisper. His eyes squint in confusion, but he remains silent—listening, as to not scare you from continuing. 

“You know, growing up in a shack with grown men…you hear a lot of things,” a silence, “things only men talk about.” Your eyes flitter to his, unmoving. 

“like, the things they missed doing on Earth, the girls they miss fucking—and what they’d do to have a woman’s lips wrapped their cocks…” The last bit comes out more hushed, gently kissing the shell of his ears. His tail reacts to you before he can, swishing in jagged movements, exposing his excitement. 

“Has anyone ever kissed you down there?” your eyes flit to his groin. 

He shakes his head eagerly, “No, I have n-never heard of this…nobody has ever…”

“Can I?” you tilt your head, flashing him your best doe-eyes. It was fun teasing him, a feeling that you’d never grow tired of. From first glance, to first introduction, you’d been bound at the hip since you could talk. Everything he did, you did, and vice versa. If you were feeling sick one day and couldn’t play, then shit, he was too. If you wanted to jump off a cliff one day, he’s jumping with you!

His loyalty to you was unyielding, grounding. And as the years passed, and the two of you transitioned from bright-eyed little kids to gangly, awkward teens on the cusp of adulthood, you started to realize something. That you wanted to be all of his firsts. 

Determinedly, you set out to do just that. On his thirteenth birthday, you kissed his cheek. A scintilla of your love, stained onto the expanse of his face that served as a mental reminder that this boy was yours—promised to you, and only you. 

Then, three more years passed. The boy with the rounded cheeks and toothy smile, had begun to change. It started out slow, though, then the differences became more gradual. 

The first to change was his face. What was once round and doughy, had now become slim and sharp. And then it was his physique. No longer was he the awkward child with gangly limbs, and a head too big for his body (as you liked to put it). No, he was much more…different. And each and every one of these changes, a testament to his inevitable journey into adulthood. 

On his sixteenth birthday, you kissed him. Once. But in that one kiss, you poured every ounce of love that you’d collected over the years. Every thought, every wish, every yearn, went right into that kiss—another piece of your heart that you carved just for him.  For him to have and hold, to keep safe. 

And when it was over, you pulled away with a smile, and a dagger of a tongue dipped in poison, ready to deliver heartbreak. 

You’re a man now, you uttered. I wanted to give my best friend his first kiss. And that was it, that was all it was ever going to be—because you were human, then. Still a weak, measly, little human who spent all her time living in a false reality, chasing something (someone) that could never really truly be promised to you. Not until you made the change.  

So, you waited. And…waited, and waited, and waited until one day you could meet his eye without having to look up, or for him to drop down. You waited until the day when you’d be recognized as his equal. 

Today was that day, on his twentieth birthday. And so you ask again. 

“Can I kiss you down here?” 

He nods. Once, twice, then stutters out an eager yes. Gently you smooth your palm up and over his knee, the skin of his thighs, and then stop beneath the fabric of his loin cloth. Your fingers trace the area teasingly, and you giggle when his hip juts up from the sensation. So sensitive. 

Slowly, you remove the cloth from his body, and take him into your hand. He’s semi-hard and leaking pre—and warm. So, so warm. You bring it up to your cheek, rubbing it against the area before turning your head to leave a zephyr-light kiss on his shaft. You kiss it once, then twice, then kiss it again for every year you spent not kissing him. 

“What are you doing?” he laughs, “Come on, it tick—hahhh.” A whine vacates from his throat upon you licking a long stripe from the base of his shaft, to the tip of his head. Naturally, his hands find solace atop of your head. 

“So dramatic, I didn’t even do anything yet.” This time, you take him into your mouth, forcing him to watch you as more and more of his length disappears into the cavern of your mouth. 

Technically, you’d never done this before (save for the few times you practiced on fruit) so it was your first time, just as much as it was his. But he didn’t have to know that. You wanted to appear like you knew what you were doing, or at the very least, like you’d done this before. You try to remember all the things you’ve heard over the years.

1) Girls who used teeth were bad, but girls who flattened their tongues and relaxed their throats were good. 

2) Girls who didn’t use spit sucked, but girls who got really messy were good fucks. 

3) Girls who didn’t play with balls were lazy, but girls who did knew how to have fun.

So, you use an amalgamation of all of the tips that you garnered. You flatten your tongue, ease your throat so that you can take him farther, until the head of his cock hits your uvula. 

“Shhit, mmf,” he breathes, attempting to stifle a moan by digging a hand into the forest soil. Immediately, you grab his hand and place it back onto your head, pulling off of him with a wet pop.

“Keep ‘em here,” your hand fists his length, “want you to use me. Wanna make you feel good, ‘kay?” His dick twitches in your hold, because fuck, the sight before him is almost too much for him to handle. 

You, before him on your knees, with your dainty hand wrapped around him, and your face wet with drool. And you want him to what? Use you? To make him feel…good? God, if he didn’t know any better, he’d think this was Eywa playing tricks on his mind. Giving him a taste of euphoria before yanking him back to reality. 

He has half a mind to pinch himself, and half mind to poke you, because there’s just no way this is real. Bullshit. But then you’re sinking back down onto him, and swirling your tongue around his head, and using your hands to massage his balls, and—

“Fuck,” his hands reflexively push you down onto his length. His body shivers when the tip of your nose makes contact with his pelvis. You’re so warm, and wet, so inviting, he can’t seem to let go. He keeps you there until you physically can’t fathom it, and pull off of him in search of air. 

“That felt…nice,” he says bashfully, “can you do that again?” You nod eagerly, accumulating a generous amount of spit in your mouth to use as a salve, lathering it up and down the length of him before he guides you back to his awaiting cock. 

He watches intently as your lips stretch to accommodate him again. Now his hands, which are tangled in your tresses, are moving more confidently. They push and pull you, maneuvering your head gently and at a steady pace, then gradually, they increase their speed. 

Neteyam does this a few times and then allows you to take the reins. When you’re ready, you take a deep inhale through your nose, and push yourself down until you feel the weight of him hit the back of your throat. The first time was a bit easier, mostly because your jaw wasn’t as fatigued as it was now, but you persevere anyway. 

Inhale, exhale. A mantra that you have to repeat to yourself to distract you from the urge to gag. You try your best to keep your jaw relaxed and your throat open by digging your nails into the fat of his thighs. 

When you look up at him, there’s an elated expression molded onto his face. His head is thrown back against the tree, hair strewn about with tendrils sticking to his forehead, and his eyes are shut closed. 

He looks…so beautiful. That’s when you feel a tear ribbon down your face and onto his thigh. You’re unsure if it’s because of the air steadily leaving your brain, or if it’s because of how pretty he looks right now—all sweaty, slick with your drool.

You settle on the former. It had to be the air. Eventually, your lungs give out and you have to take a breather. The sudden loss of warmth forces his eyes open, and then they fall on your face. Your eyes. Doe-eyed and clouded. Cheeks stained with tears. 

“Pretty.” Is all he says, bringing up a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You work him the rest of the way with the iota of energy you have left, concentrating on the head of his cock while your hand fists him to climax. 

His abs begin to tremble and flex when you switch between hollowing your cheeks and massaging his balls. A visual indication that he was close to coming. 

“Waitwaitwait, it feels like,” he’s panicked, trying to push you away. You dodge his attempts to remove you and continue your assault, only this time, you gently apply pressure to his perineum. Unceremoniously, he pushes your head down to the hilt and you moan around him from the force. 

The vibrations from your throat makes his head feel all fuzzy. He’s so close, on the precipice of euphoria. And your hands—that are still situated on his thighs—rub the expanse of them reassuringly, coaxing him to finish right on your tongue. 

With a final lazy piston, he comes into your mouth, and the warm, salty seed that you’d been anticipating leaks down the column on your throat. Moans tumble from his lips, along with hushed expletives, and he’s shaking. The cords of muscle beneath your palm tense and flex before regressing to their natural, relaxed state. 

You remove your mouth promptly and rise to your haunches, making sure that his eyes are locked onto yours as you stick out your tongue to show him his seed. 

“No, do not swallow that, I didn’t mea—“ Disobeying his wishes, you do it anyway. Swallowing it all all down and making it a point that you did so by sticking your tongue out again. His tail flicks in response, eyes wide in disbelief. 

“Why did you do that? It’s dirty,” he caresses your cheek, wiping away the leftover spent from your mouth. 

“‘Cause I wanted to…” You counter. “And it’s not dirty, you tasted good.” 

Neteyam rolls his eyes at this, like him tasting good is too hard for him to believe. 

“Don’t believe me? Here, try it.” And then you give him the gift that you had gifted to him all those years ago. A kiss. It’s equal parts sweet and needy, different from the first time it happened, but that’s because it was supposed to be. You wanted him to know exactly what you meant. No more waiting. No more pining. 

When you draw back, breathless and dizzy, he’s still stuck in a stupor. Lips jutted out and waiting for you to kiss him again. Again, again, again. He opens his eyes, and sees you staring back at him. 

“See, I told yo—“ He takes a fist full of your hair and connects his lips to yours. This is him returning the gift. Letting you know that he got the message, loud and clear, and that it was reciprocated. Every ounce of love that flows through his heart is poured into your own; he hopes you can feel it. 

“I told you not to fall for me,” you whisper, looking up at him with an avian flutter of your lashes. Neteyam’s hands find solace on the sides of your cheeks, and then he speaks.

“I think I fell for you a long time ago.” Warmth washes over you, his sweet words and strong hands overriding all of your cognitive functions. Specifically, the one in charge of keeping you calm and collected. 

“Good, ‘cause I think you’re gonna fall for me a lot harder when you see what I have planned for you later.”

“What’s later?”

“Shh, what fun would it be if I told the birthday boy the surprise?” You grin cheekily, unaware of the way your tail swishes from side to side as you say it. Neteyam knows you’re up to no good, but he doesn’t care. He’d follow you anywhere, after all. 

© arachine 2023

[theanimeroom]

DREAMING ABOUT…

SFW

💎 bf!baji who wakes you up with a rough “g’mornin princess” right before placing the softest kiss on your forehead

💎 bf!baji who initially tried to kiss you on the lips and only rolled his eyes when you complained about “morning breath”, whatever that is

💎 bf!baji who takes twice as long as you in the shower, yet is still somehow ready before you are.

💎 bf!baji who to your surprise, actually knows his way around a kitchen. the first time he ever made you breakfast your eyes followed him in amazement as he made the best omelette you’ve ever tasted

💎 bf!baji who definitely got into a fight trying to protect you. he couldn’t stand watching you shift in place uncomfortably because the dude in front of you couldn’t take a fucking hint, so he did what he had to do

💎 bf!baji who also apologized to you when you were finally alone, because he would never want to scare you :(

💎 bf!baji who despite his serious and gruff demeanor, is actually quite clumsy and just a little bit dumb 👌🏽

💎 bf!baji who will also ask you “hey babe, have you seen my glasses?” while staring at you through the prescribed lenses 👓

💎 bf!baji who nearly suffocates you at the front door while leaving for work because although he does love his animals at the store, he’d much rather stay home and hover behind you all day 🫶🏽

💎 bf!baji who sends you cute texts at work when there’s no customers because he’s bored :(

come visit me i miss you >:(

bby i’m in class

…and?

💎 bf!baji who adores you in his clothes. when you first started dating, he found it a bit annoying that his favorite shirts and hoodies would go missing, but when he finally saw you wearing one of his old band t-shirts while cleaning? he was putty in your hands

💎 bf!baji who comes home to find you in a pair of shorts and one of his shirts on the couch, and immediately crushed you with his body while smothering you with kisses

💎 bf!baji who pouts when you get out of bed at anytime because he’s tired but can’t seem to go to sleep unless his nose is buried in your hair and his arms have you trapped against him 🥺

💎 bf!baji who will do absolutely anything for you. it doesn’t matter the request, just tell him what to do and he’s got it. order out for dinner tonight? sure thing. you want to watch movies and lay on his chest? he’s at your beck and call. want him to jump off a cliff? just let him know how high bby 😌

NSFW BELOW THE CUT…

NSFW

💎 bf!baji who thinks you’re the prettiest when his cock is shoved down your throat, eyes wide and glassy as you struggle to take all of him. you gag reflexively when your nose bumps his pubic bone, and the sight only makes his jaw clench and dick throb

💎 bf!baji who actually laughs when you beg for him to slow down his thrusts, your words only inspiring him to move faster because why would he stop when you make such pretty noises?

💎 bf!baji who groans low and deep in your ear, sending shivers straight down your spine and between your legs. he’ll never tell you that he does it on purpose, just to feel the way your thighs tighten around him and pull him in closer

💎 bf!baji who definitely didn’t get a mirror installed above his bed so he could get a good view of you from all angles :)

💎 bf!baji who eats you out like a mad man. if your hands weren’t tied to the headboard then they were laced in his hair, yanking on bundle after bundle as you tried to simultaneously push him away and bring him closer

💎 bf!baji who openly admits to loving getting his hair pulled, and sends a shockwave of vibrations against your clit every time you tug a little harder than necessary

💎 bf!baji who partakes in the nastiest make out sessions. wherever you are, if he manages to get his lips on yours, expect his tongue to be exploring your mouth while you attempt to keep his straying hands at bay

💎 bf!baji who will spit in your mouth before pressing his tongue against yours again. you haven’t gotten the chance to breath in a while and once you finally manage to pull away, there’s a trail of saliva connecting your lips. like i said, n a s t y.

💎 bf!baji who is very much banned from PDA because you’re tired of scarring the old ladies that are shopping in the clothing aisle at walmart

💎 bf!baji who can say the most vile shit in bed. you knew the man wasn’t one for niceties, but you couldn’t stop your cunt from clenching around him, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the filth he spewed your way

“aww, what’s wrong baby? i thought you said you could take it?” “uh uh, don’t run from me. you asked for this, now take my cock like a good little cocksleeve.” “oh? did you like that baby? your cunt just squeezed around me so tight- fuck.”

💎 bf!baji who isn’t super vocal in bed, unless he’s close to coming. the most you could usually get out of him was a slightly strained grunt, which he did on purpose, but when you caught him on the right day, he would slur profanities into your ear, much to your happiness

“please baby, fuck.” “keep fucking me like that,” “you feel so fucking good wrapped around me…” “shit, just like that princess” “you’re gonna make me come.”

💎 bf!baji who wasn’t too keen on using toys in the bedroom, until he watched your legs shake for the umpteenth time as he held your vibrator against your overly sensitive clit. he wasn’t sure what exactly enthralled him the way it did, but he was willing to continue experimenting until he figured it out

💎 bf!baji who definitely fucked you in the back of his store while chifuyuu helped out a customer. the boy knew exactly what was happening the moment you two snuck into the storage area, his face turning beet red as he rung up a 10lb bag of dog food

💎bf!baji who is a bit of an exhibitionist, but let someone try and take a peek at you without his permission and watch how fast you lose the ability to use your eyes

💎 bf!baji who will choke you until you’re blue during one round, then hold your hand while moaning about how good you feel the next. there’s never a dull moment with this one

💎 bf!baji who makes you worried that the next time you look in the mirror after having sex, there will be a bald spot waiting to surprise you with how rough he pulls on the locks when giving you back shots

💎bf!baji who’s favorite position is doggy. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

💎 bf!baji who doesn’t stop until you’re sweaty, weak and begging for a few minutes to rest. luckily enough for you, those few minutes were all baji needed to slip into a deep slumber until the next morning when he’ll just wake up and start again :)

[yourlocalbigtittyedbitch]

Hc's of some characters and the crap they deal with when they're with you

synopsis: just your daily life with the ones you care about (reader is not specified as male or female, but dose have a child written in some of these parts)

Parings: Jake, Lyle, Tonowari, Z-Dog

Warnings: reader sniping Lyle in the back of the head with a shoe, messing with Quaritch. You in Z-Dog being besties.(maybe somethin' more) Yeeting a child, just your normal day with someone you care about <3

Jake

You two where known for doing stupid shit, and Jake's mate, Neytiri.. would beat both of your guy's asses because of it, but you didn't regret it.

Totally bitch slapped Jake with a fish when he said something stupid about you.

Would be your go too buddy when you wanna get high as balls with someone. (Neytiri in the background watching over two adult toddlers being stupid again-)

Totally didn't make Jake try to catch a fish with his bare hands just so you could kick him into the water

When you two where absolutely fucking wasted. You stared at him, and he stared at you. Suddenly both of you started laughing like two school girls, covering your face with your hands as you hunched over.

When he fell asleep, you surprisingly had a marker on your person, so you took an advantage over this opportunity. (You totally scribbled a dick on his forehead,)

Also, if you got annoyed with one of his kids. You'd just throw them into the nearest lake. All he'd hear was "YAH YEET-" then a splash and laughter.

Lyle

You two had so much fun picking on each other,

You randomly slapped cheese onto his bald head, before running off and him chasing after your ass

You yanked on his tail, to grab his attention usually. But if he annoys you, you pull his ear sometimes, either that. Or he would wake up with dildos attached to his ceiling. (Don't ask where y/n got them)

That one time he ducktaped your kid to the wall.. his ass was sniped with a fucking boot, you had hit him so hard in the back of the head, that he actually fell. And you didn't feel sorry.

You two are the type of freinds to sound like they're gonna fuck, or sound like they're gonna kill each other.

Totally to just randomly slap his ass and say something stupid like "yee haw!" Or "getty up horsey"

Both of you would definitely do loud ass fake moans, especially when you two are high as fuck

Z-Dog

Gurl- you two would make stupid bets sometimes

"Bet you won't slap Quaritches ass"

"How much?"

"20."

"25 and we have a deal"

"Bet"

And so you slapped Quaritches ass and pinned the blame on Mansk. And he got such a severe ass beating, and oh my God you almost felt sorry.

One time you stole her bubblegum by distracting her with a kiss. Definitely got smacked, but it was worth it.

Definitely would have stupid arguments, like who has cooler tattoos or scars.

Man its so funny messing with her, she always gets so mad its funny. Just wait til your in your human body again, you're so fucked.

"I wonder what female tittys feel like"

"Touch mine"

"Okay-" when you just straight up grabbed her tit. She bitch slapped you

"OW-"

"DONT TOUCH MY TITTY!"

"BITCH YOU GAVE ME PERMISSION!!"

"I was joking you dumbass"

"Ass" was all you said as you rubbed the sore spot

You two would probably cuddle in her or your bed. Arms wrapped around her waist, with your head against her chest.

Tonowari

Pray to Eywa that this man doesn't get a heart attack from you doing stupid shit.

"Wanna see me jump off a cliff?"

"No. Please my love-"

As you turned around, you fucking sprinted like there was no tomorrow to the edge of the cliff. Before jumping "Fuck gravity!!" Was all you said as you fell down, and yeah. There was water at the bottom, poor boys heart almost fell out of place

You had an Ikran, and swore this bitch hated you sometimes.

As you where talking to Tonowari, you ignored the fact that your Ikran was nudging its head into your back, asking for attention. Once it got so annoyed, it stopped, before turning around and fucking whip lashed you with its tail.

Let's say you had a bruise and a worried Tonowari on your hands now.

There was a time where you'd get annoyed with your own kid. And sometimes would just throw them, into water or onto a bed. Never actually hurting them. All Tonowari saw was that small sweet lil thing pushing you arm and saying something, and you had this annoyed expression on your face, standing up you stared down at them and then yelled "Thats it!! Into the water you go!!" Before lifting your kid up and chucking them into the water "Yeetus da fetus!!"

(If Jake was there, you'd turn to him with a smile and just say "abortion!", and he would try his hardest not to luagh)

If you where to get drunk or high as balls, he would probably have to keep you at arms reach at all times. Or you'd just go do something stupid again,

He loves you dearly, but your gonna be the end of him, he saw you hanging upside-down on your Ikran in mid air, you where just chillin' meanwhile he was absolutely losing his shit.

You'd totally be the type to stare at his ass or tittys. And probably say something in English so he wouldn't understand what you had just said, "damn those are some big ol' tittys"

"What?"

"Nothing-"

[joenotexotic99]

Hi honey, I have to say I love your stuff. You write absolutely great. Could you do a headcannon on BoB and what type of love would you give them? I mean love at first sight, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, etc. I'd be happiest with Winters and Nixon and Speirs, but do what you will. Thank you.

A/n: here you go my love. When I finally re read the request I realized you might have wanted the pov's reversed but it was too late. Hopefully it's not too bad. I will happily switch it to reader pov if you wish.

Warnings:fluff

Masterlist

Richard winters

-friends to lovers. I don't think that this man thought of romance when he first met you. Attractive? Most definitely. However he had bigger things preoccupying his mind. Yet somehow at some point, you wiggled your way to being one of his best friends. Don't tell nix. Something about you practically scrambled his brain. He doesn't know when in the friendship he fell or if he fell in the very beginning. But when he realized just how much he loved you it was like he jumped off a cliff without a parachute. He knew right then and there you were it for him. He probably felt nervous telling you due to the fact that he never gave off the impression that he likes you. But let's just say the feelings were reciprocated.

"Dick, I have been flirting with you this whole time."

"Really??"

Lewis nixon

- love at first sight. This man took one look at you and said yes. He may not immediately start flirting with you out of respect, but he will damn well be tied to your finger. Will always open doors for you, and give you his coat when you're cold. So many acts of services. At one point you two were at a bar and some private made his way to your side to start a flirty conversation where he swears he got to hands'y. He knew that you were single but he was extremely jealous nonetheless. Eventually he had to leave to get some air. You followed shortly to catch up with him. You confronted him asking what has gotten into him as of late. He never wanted it to come out like this but it sort of just spilled out of him. He rambled on about his feelings before you cut him off with a kiss and a huge grin on your face.

"Shut up nix and take me on a date"

Ronald speirs

-Distance attraction, I don't know what to call it, this is the closest I can get. It just feels right. Basically, Speirs isn't quite love at first sight, he's the guy who needs to really get to know you to start building a relationship like that. However this man has a MASSIVE crush on you. But he's too prideful to say anything seeing how simping for someone isn't exactly in Ron's profile. He just admires you from a distance while simultaneously stuffing his emotions deep down. Much better in his book. Yet he still does his very best to be by your side at every moment possible even though he spends a lot of time trying not to think about how perfect you are. It's you who makes the first move. You obviously like him and you know he does too. It's obvious to everyone but no-one says a single word. And before you can finish telling him if he wants to go out some time, he's already agreeing.

"Yes"

"What?"

"You free Friday?"

Carwood lipton

-childhood friends to lovers. He was the boy next door. You two were friends from first grade through college. Sharing secrets, sleepovers, getting into mischief. Car started crushing on you when you two were teenagers. Said crush continued all the way until you two volunteer to join the paratroopers. War was hell but you seemed to make it just a little bit more manageable. His life in the war picked up significantly and he had a freight train worth of responsibility placed on his shoulders. Yet you never left his side. It wasn't until Austria that he confessed his feelings. He almost felt sick when he told you in fear of losing his best friend. It was short sweet at straight to the point. You were silent for what felt like an eternity. Lip almost took off in fear of rejection. He was stopped in his tracks by the sound of your laughter. He turned to hear you laughing with the biggest smile on your face.

"Clifford carwood Lipton, do you know how long I've been waiting for those words"

Joseph Leibgott

-Enemies to lovers. Your relationship started off Rocky. Your personality clashed and having a civilized conversation was seemingly impossible. Every time your paths crossed it was filled with banter, insults and tension. Sometimes it got to the point where someone needed to intervene. When you would walk into the same room that Joe would be in it's like the air seemed to thicken. The cold stares and passive aggressive comments. As the war progressed your comments never faulted but the tension you ask? It could be felt by an entire room. And all that hate seemed to not leave as bad as a taste in your mouth. Joe knew from the start that he hated and loved you. You know the type of enemies to lovers where it's like 'she's mine' and 'who did this to you?' It's giving that. He got so fed up with replacements trying to whisk you away so he simply grabbed you by the waist and kissed you.

"Don't lever leave with one of them alright sweetheart?"

"Wasn't planning on it"

[tequila-solar-storm]

Mean anons know where the door is :/

So excited to know there'll be more kinich coming from you! As I'm —way rapidly thought I will— descending into a kinich obsession, It's clear that yours truly is my favorite characterization of him. I don't know how you manage to capture his cold attitude and the way he's at the same time so incredibly caring. He just hits all the right spots. I've reread your fic a second time and is just, perfection. I think I can ramble about it all day lmao

Do you have any Kinich HC you're willing to share?

—🌻

Awwww anon you’re going to inflate my ego way too much!! 😆 I’m incredibly happy to know that you enjoy my depiction of Kinich! Receiving kind comments from people like you just makes me so ridiculously happy!!

Regarding headcanons, I honestly have too many to count! So here are some listed under the cut! NSFT + Spoilers for Kinich’s character stories!

For general headcanons, I think it’s funny if Kinich genuinely didn’t like Grainfruit. He can eat it if needed, as he’s not one to waste food, but he prefers not to. So whenever he goes out with Mualani and Kachina he’s pawning off his Grainfruit to Kachina, since it seems Mualani doesn’t like vegetables.

Imagine being like, twelve, and your two adult friends are just dumping their not-corn on you HAHAHAHA Mualani’s going to make a bunch of excuses like “It’ll help you grow up Kachina!!!” While Kinich just flatly says “I don’t want it.”

While Kinich is not one for initiating affection, I do think Elder Leik is an exception to that rule! Kinich is surprisingly affectionate with the elder and would crash at said elder’s house whenever he’s in the area!

Before he leaves, he’ll make sure to give Leik a hug and kiss first! He does it all with his trademark poker face, but the love is evident!! On a side note, Genshin Wiki please make a page for the dad that stepped up already! (Yes, Elder Leik is his dad now. No I do not accept criticism. His birth dad can rot at the bottom of the cliff he died in)

Wholesomeness aside, onto the raunchier stuff!

Did Kinich fuck half the male population in the tribe? At this point, probably yes. Leik’s fully aware of his son’s habits and is just shaking his head. But oh well, as long as Kinich is happy and safe! (The former? Definitely. The latter? Eeeeh…)

The tribe’s general relationship with him is so complicated it’s hilarious. When it comes to wanting to fuck Kinich’s brains out, there’s three camps.

Camp One is where our dear nameless warriors from ‘More’ falls in. They’re the ones who find Kinich’s frigidity endearing. They love his cool demeanour and want nothing more than to watch it fall apart! They’re the rare Kinich fans who love him for who he is!

Kinich’s probably conflicted about Group One. They’re acquaintances at best, since he wouldn’t consider any of them to be his friends despite sleeping with them, and he finds their enthusiasm for him pretty surprising. He’s super flattered though! So he’s not sure whether he should accept their love or not…

Meanwhile, Camp Two is the biggest and also the funniest. It’s the ‘I hate him so much I want to absolutely humiliate him with my dick’ gang. It contains all those who guiltily/angrily masturbate to the thought of ruining him every night. They’re the ones who scoff and criticise Kinich yet immediately jump at the opportunity to fuck his brains out.

Sex is more of a power thing with them. Kinich finds these guys the most fun, since they’re usually the roughest and are out to brutalise him. Except he hasn’t found anyone who was actually successful in ruining him yet HAHAHA

Camp Three is the most mature in which they acknowledge both his shortcomings and strengths. Sex happens to fall in the latter category, so why not indulge in it? It’s the group that even if they don’t like him, they’ll leave their gripes out of bed. Kinich finds them the most boring, but also the most respectable!

I don’t think Kinich would have any particular kinks aside from ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH. If anything, he enjoys them all! So long as his partner(s) can leave him feeling like he got run over by a Long-Necked Rhino, he’s fine with anything. Rope? Sure! Whips? Sure! Group stuff? Sure! All in all, Kinich’s just a delight to be with. Poker faced slut who’s also super wholesome at the same time!!

How long he stays after the deed itself depends on his partner(s) performance(s). If the man sucks, he has no qualms running off immediately after he blows his load. If Kinich happens to encounter some sex guru, however, he’s staying and cuddling him till morning! That’s an easy way to gauge how one performed, I guess?

Anyways, thank you so much for the ask! I had a blast writing these!!

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 10, Episode 4

It's Cop Night tonight!

I don't say this nearly enough, but I really love Ethan lol this is one of the funniest things he's ever said, no more fear of the Ghouls with this guy

Not Matty of all people coming in with the 'okay enough of that please don't start things'

He is thinking :] he just stares for so long trying to think of anything to say that wouldn't also start something and I love him for that

I was just gunna add this cause cute Matty and hot Johnson but as I was rendering this I saw Ethan's face for the first time fuckin lmao I have seen this scene SO many times and never once have I looked at Ethan

I really love soft, apologetic Matty, need more of this guy

I love how you can actually see the switch between Well Mannered Matty and his usual self when being polite doesn't work lmao no one else could've played him for REAL /)w(\ also the smug laugh he does afterwards will be the death of me

In case it wasn't obvious already I have a thing with being intimidated and this is the hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life no one else could've played him

This exchange makes me insane. Matty is so hot here I can hardly stand it. This would've been such a good fucking fight, Matty just staring him down not scared at all, the implication of everyone else he isn't afraid of coming after him and he doesn't even care, his hand is shaking he's so strong and brave and I would fight Gary for him even though he could kick my 5'5 ass

Fucking. Same. Ethan.

I just really wanted to say this outfit fuckin eats, he makes me wanna buy him a very expensive beverage and sit with him while he drinks slow and talks about his day /)//w//(\ okay I'm normal again sorry about that back to the post

Hi Angel~ Been watching a few of Rhys' movies for editing and he does this little wave in like all of them and this is just him continuing the trend lol so cute, I might make a lil gifset about it at some point 🥰

Johnson standing there like 'Matty. Pinup. Matty.' like what is that look I'm going insane, he's surrounded by beautiful dancing ladies and he's always looking at Matty or Ethan

Like. Fucking same, Johnson. I am also looking at Johnson like that as well just so you know

lmao at Ethan but I love the amount of detail they put into all these sets like this bathroom is seen only once and they decked it out so damn cool

Whoa I was just gunna screencap this bit and say I could never use a urinal cause guys are just... dicks out next to each other and that's so awkward oh my god so I'm always like looking at the wall during this whole scene cause I'm shy /)~(\ but Matty actually has another moment of misdirection when Ethan gets all still, doesn't change the subject this time, just hammers it home, but he does it in a way that still gets him away from Ethan it looks like so he knows he doesn't have to freak out over being recognized

Serious conversation, dicks just out, all three of them, pissin' away, can't be me. Also love how Johnson isn't allowed in the scene cause there's only three urinals lmao he's saving their table for them it's all good

He's also watching Ethan and seeing how calm he is this time ;w;

Gross. Disgusting. Don't bring your open drinks into the bathroom you heathen Matty did too but at least he like leaves it there cause I saw it in his hand when he walked in and placed it on the top and then he never picked it back up, he's just littering

I think him looking at me like that might fix me 😌 also cop didn't wash his hands yucko everybody shame him aaaaaaaaand I just now realized I giffed Ethan fuckin shakin' it and Matty's just staring at him with that expression as he's doing it I'm going to jump off a CLIFF MEN'S BATHROOMS ARE SO AWKWARD

'Why?' Cutting Matty out of this part in the fic nearly killed me cause I couldn't do this exchange but I'm so happy with him realizing it himself ;w;

Him saying this to me would definitely fix me. Love how he gets one second to be so genuine, his voice is so soft, and then he just laughs cause Ethan has the best reactions and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen after Johnson

Nearly hit my limit again surprisingly so yayyy I get to talk about my favourite scene with Ethan and Meredith tomorrow, gimme all the friendships with her to talk about! 💙💛

[i-darling-amaflower]

I've tried thinking about which characters in DFF are my favorite and which ones are my least favorite, but that becomes exceedingly difficult as the show progresses. The reason for this is, as many posts have pointed out, the way the show reflects reality and therefore has no "Good and Bad" no "Black and White," but instead simply has many different hues of grey. So, at the end of the day, it all comes down to one's opinion or the way one perceives a character. I will do my best to express my thoughts on each of the 9 main characters.

1. Por

The leader of the pack. He is one of the one's we're obviously not supposed to like as much; he bullied Non, he stole his work, he was two-faced, he almost killed Non. But he still has a bit of complexity added to his character what with his family situation. Ultimately, in my opinion, that does not excuse any of his actions. He is pretty low on my list.

2. Top

This is gonna be a short paragraph. I hate him. The things he did weren't as extreme as some of the things Por did, but he literally has no excuse whatsoever. He's just plain annoying, a bully with a backstory as long as his dick, which is to say nonexistent.

3. Fluke

I think he has morals? If he does he fully does not listen to them. His biggest flaw is his selfishness. I believe he would've ratted Top and Tee out when Top broke the camera if it wouldn't have caused a crack in the friendship of the group, and therefore his spot in the popular group in school. Because let's be honest, he doesn't give a rat's ass about his "friends," he doesn't wanna be a part of whatever they're doing 3/4 of the time. But his selfishness ruins what potential he might've had, to the point of him being downright creepy.

4. Tee

Now this is a character. I think his shade of grey is the perfect blend of both white and black. Yes, I obviously hate what he did, but at the same time I understand. I would rather jump off of a cliff than give someone other than myself problems, but if I was a little less like that and a little more cowardly, I think I could relate to him a lot. He wasn't as warm to Non as Jin was, but he definitely wasn't as cold as Por and Top were. And boy, does he have a past. It looks to me like he's been a part of his uncle's gang for quite a bit, which would obviously quiet the kindness in anyone's voice, if not in there whole being. He has a sick father he genuinley cares about and no other way to make money. He's in a corner. And while I believe there's always a choice, I understand why he saw the one he picked the clearest. The thing, though, is that he didn't want to hurt Non, he didn't want to bring Non to his uncle, it just wasn't as strong as his want for himself and his father to be fine. But this is what makes him stand out more than the other members of the original friend group. He regreted it. He feels guilty. It's quite literally haunting him. He never could and never will be able to escape that part of his life. He even brought Non 2.0 (aka White) right up close to himself, and he would do anything to keep White there, safe where he can see him. So while I don't like him, and he is easily one of the more everything-i-do-damages-Non characters, he is still a very interesting one.

5. Jin

I can't explain how much I hate him. When I was in elementary school there was an anti-bullying poster that said something like "a bystander that does not help is just as guilty as the bully." And although both Fluke and Jin acted as bystanders, I hate Jin more because he is under the impression that he is kind and innocent, and he is branded this way to all the other characters. Even Non believed it. He takes no responsibility for what he did, or rather, what he didn't do. I don't even think he feels guilty about what happened to Non, he so easily forgot about it. He moved on so fast for someone he saw as a "friend" or, going even further, a "crush." The most evil thing is that the change in the way he acted between the past (smiley, warm, there) and the present (frowny, cold, closed-off) was not due to the fact that he absolutely ruined this kid--someone he considered a friend--'s chance at a future by leaking a video of said kid being groomed, and then proceed to nearly (if not actually) kill this kid with the help of his friends. No, it was do to the fact that his new crush said they were just friends. That's so incredibly pathetic. I'm obviosuly not saying that crushes can't literally crush your soul, but I think he had other issues he could've been worrying about.

6. Phee

Up until episode 9 I absolutely loved him. But then he dissapointed me a bit (which he is aloud to do, he's literally still a kid; for that reason I haven't kicked him off of my list of characters I like just yet). He has a big heart, which was used to cause a lot of good, but unfortunately became his flaw. It started to grow until it out-weighed his sense of justice. I think he still loves Non and wants to know what happened to him, but not as much as he wants to forget and move on with Jin. He came to the house partly to get answers but mostly to fix his relationship with Jin. He started to like the friend group, so he wants to live in ignorance, and that I do not agree with.

7. Tan

Him and Non had a pretty weak relationship, but despite that, he still loves him (he loves his whole family, actually, even if their parents don't deserve it) deeply; deeply enough for them to be the only thing he's living for. In my--who am I kidding, the fandom's opinion, he is currently doing nothing wrong, killing people or not. He lost literally everything, and frankly, it shows. But instead of giving up, he perserved, which is more than Phee can say.

8. Non

Jesus Christ, this poor kid. A family that forgot about him while he was there, and loved him after he was gone, and a boyfriend that loved him while he was there, then quickly forgot him after he was gone. He'd never had it easy in his life and still didn't have it easy (possibly) after his life. If you think what happened with Keng was Non cheating on Phee, fuck you. Fuck you. That was grooming, Non was being taken advantage of. Although I don't really think of Phee sleeping with Jin as cheating, it was more cheating than Non and Keng. Yes, he pulled the rest of the friend group into the illegal money thing, but that was not his fault, it was Por, Top, and Tee's fault. So much shit happened to him, and none of it was deserved; I really hope he's alive and killing them.

9. White

I don't dare to have opinions on him yet because I'm really expecting a deeper backstory. I don't think he's as naive as he's letting on.

If you want to add any of your opinions, feel free to!

[bangtanmix73]

Being best friends with Paul Lahote

Warnings: Gn!human!reader, platonic, swearing, dog jokes, slight mention of sex (not with reader), Rachel (Paul’s actual imprint), might make one for each of the pack members, I have more for a whole part 2

Chaos duo.

He’d take you cliff diving, even if you’re scared of heights. If you refuse to, he pick you up and jump with you.

You poke fun at other pack members together.

You jokingly insult each other, none being taken to heart. Of course, if you have boundaries, he wouldn’t cross them. He can be a dick, but he’s respectful <3.

Just randomly texts you “you wanna go raid Jacob’s kitchen?”

You’re friends with Rachel. She was iffy about you at first, but once she realized you and Paul have the ‘everyone thinks you’re a couple, but you’re not’ friendship with no romantic feelings on either sides, she warmed up to you.

Dog jokes.

“You should phase so I can play tug of war with you” “ok, first of all, fuck you..” “or maybe fetch”

Rachel definitely calls you when she doesn’t know what to do with him

He’d talk about his ‘fun nights’ with Rachel and you’d just sit there like “this is the same guy I made slime with 15 minutes ago.”

Coming up with weird nicknames for each other, mainly insulting.

“Wolf boy”, “ratatouille built bitch”, “dense prick”, “bland pork chops”, “godless thot”.

Absolutely goes to a random fast food restaurant at 2am with you.

Can be protective of you if you’re into guys, only because he knows how they think and how the world is :/.

He’s fine with you dating, he’s not your dad, but if they’re toxic? Hell no, he ain’t tolerating it. Break up now.

Don’t even think about going near the Cullens. He doesn’t 1. Want you to get hurt, turned, or killed. 2. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend to one of them.

If you ever go missing, it’s probably his fault. He drags you out of bed at 8am, into the woods, just for his entertainment.

“If I got a cat, would it piss you off?”

When it snows, he drags you out early in the morning with the pack. You go on a drive, not just any drive…someone drives, someone holds the rope, at the end of rope is a sled, and someone’s on that sled.

One word: wrestling.

Now he’s not very rough with you like he is with the others, but that’s only because of his super strength.

Having deep conversation late at night then laughing at whatever was said and making jokes.

If you’re upset, he’s not very good at comfort, but he’s good at listening. Sometimes you’d have to remind him to listen and not go beat someone’s ass.

If you have your period, again he’s not good at comfort, but he’ll buy sweets and drinks at the first sign. He’d throw them like grenades then duck and hide. It’s entertaining to watch really.

Since he imprinted on Rachel, the three of you have spent a lot of time together. Which means, (if you have your period), yours and hers are in sync.

You and Rachel are the only people he’s actually scared of. 

One time you fell while climbing a tree, he won’t admit it, but he was worried about you.

You were doing something you parents told you not to do once and he threatened to snitch on you. It didn’t work well for him, you took off your shoe, throw it at him, he fell and you dragged him outside and left him there.

You get along well with the pack. You’re not fond of Bella because she hit Paul. You can’t lie, you probably would’ve punched her if you were there.

You think Jacob’s fun when he doesn’t go on and on about Bella.

When Paul has time off from patrol, he’d take Rachel and you on dinner dates.

Always together. People ask where’s the other when they’re not there.

“The coffee shop guy asked me where the ‘ripped gang dude’ was because ‘I’m always with you.”

Rachel’s Halloween idea was her as Lilo, you as stitch, and, for her entertainment, Paul as the big sister, Nani.

If you’re shorter than him, he makes fun of you for it all the time.

“Aww does Y/n need help down?” “Hey Rachel, I hope you didn’t want Paul alive.”

Probably has copies of your baby photos for blackmail.

In marko polo, you yell “Paulo” instead of polo.

Two hot best friends

[judasrpc]

US PRESIDENTS PLAY POPPY PLAYTIME (YOUTUBE 2023) STARTERS

add context & change gendered language to your needs !! containts references to violence and horror.

if multi, please specify which muse(s) !! credit goes to the channel presidentsplayhorrorgames

" What the hell is it with you and creepy old places, [name]? "

" Let me guess, this is the neighborhood you grew up in? "

" That's like the fucking stone ages, [name], die already! "

" Is that a Pokémon or whatever it's called? "

" What the hell is that supposed to mean, [name]? "

" It's a very self-explanatory sentence. "

" I have a lot of confidence moving forward now. "

" Why are you so fucking negative all the time? "

" 'Cause I'm around you. "

" I told you assholes that we were caught in a paradox, but none of you guys wanted to believe me! "

" These are dangerous toes I'm stepping on. "

" Either he's French, or his parents did not like him as a child. "

" I mean, if your child was French, wouldn't you be disappointed? "

" Never mind, I see what you're laying down. "

" While you two nincompoops are over collecting the scraps of your brain cells, I already know the objective. "

" Good job, guys. Teamwork makes the dream work! "

" Ah, my favorite music from the menu. It's like I'm in a retirement home. "

" Did he just rip his fucking head off? "

" And what not to do! Like rip somebody's head off. "

" Just the casual things! I can reach items on the top shelf, airbend some electric waves, and land in prison for a double homicide. "

" Now you can only commit singular homicide. "

" You're vandalizing an already vandalized building. And it's not even vandalism, you're just moving some boxes around. "

" Funny, the second you mention work, he stops. "

" You know damn well that's too much like common sense. "

" Tall?? He's like the Jolly Green Giant! "

" Alright, listen here beanstalk- "

" I am not enjoying this music at all. This does not give me very friendly vibes. "

" Doesn't matter where it came from, we know where we have to go now. "

" Ah, you really just put anything in someone's mouth and roll with it, huh? "

" I don't even believe I said that yet in your imaginary little world. "

" The hell do you mean I can't misuse company time? I get paid three cents to move around boxes, I'll do whatever the hell I want. "

" Well, it looks like I'll take over for the time being! "

" I could say a lot right now, but I'll keep my mouth shut. "

" Welp, I see no problem moving forward here. Clearly no present danger that is alarming us to what's ahead. "

" I think Hell would be a better place to go than through that door. "

" A long and dark hallway never killed anybody. "

" Is it leaking carbon monoxide to kill us, hopefully? "

" Set the bar low? Got it- "

" It's not practical, but I can see why they implemented these things. "

" That's Business Failure 101! "

" Like I would waste the budget flopping around my Disneyland dick on the table because I wanted the under operations to feel magical. "

" If [name]'s hiding it, that doesn't promise anything good. "

" [Name] was definitely the kid to put the square blocks in the circle hole. "

" [Name], you probably sucked on a wooden spoon as entertainment. Hell, you'd probably do that now! "

" Damn, we're old! "

" You are old and I am not. "

" Are you smarter than a fifth grader? You can put the pieces together. "

" And with that note, I think it's about time we high-tail it out of here. "

" Have you seen how long that motherfucker's arm is? He could probably wear me like a sock puppet! "

" That's an image in my head I wish I could unsee. "

" First, jump off a cliff. Second- "

" Yeah, that really fucking helps, [name]. Just sit there and focus on commentary while you leave the puzzles to me! "

" I thought you said you were done questioning the logic? "

" And that's after five bankruptcies, two divorces, and a criminal record. "

" Another classic [name] joke. A couple more, and they might let you back on the late show. "

" He would know about shady business practices. "

" Yeah! A one percent increase in performance- Let's burst open the champagne bottles! "

" [Name], you would be the type of person to be concerned about international cybersecurity, but will watch online porn sites with so many viruses you'd think it came from a lab. "

" You old bastard, I genuinely wish you'd have a stroke. "

" You're just being an asshole, [name], but what else is new? "

" Those eyes look like they've been around since the Civil War. "

" What do you think I'm trying to do? So shut the hell up! "

" What can you say? I had to bring it home for the boys. "

" It's like the Victorian era vomited all over here. "

" This was not what I meant, but to each their own. "

[bardic-inspo]

2 4 17 and 28? Hier sind Bredeles.

Thank you! <3

[Fanfic Writer Ask Game]

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

Yes! Not super often. I revisit the same few Deacon x MacCready x Natasha oneshots a lot, but have made a few rounds through my whole post-Institute OT3 series for them. I've only re-read BtG a few times. Part of that, too, is, I read the chapters so many times already before posting them. It's different to read for editing, but, still.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Two major ones! Which is more than enough for me.

Midnight Chimes is my Astarion x Cursed!Tav long-ish fic I recently started (but really it feels more like it sprang out of me of its own accord). I had intended to maybe write them a oneshot series. Or to maybe write a shorter multi-chapter set only in Act III. Naomi and Astarion took the wheel and told me otherwise. It's been fun so far, having the broad strokes in mind, but really letting the characters drive the adventure. And I get to write in a more traditional fantasy setting, which I haven't done in ages, and feels super refreshing.

The other is my moby dick-sized and counting Fallout 4 longfic for SoSu x MacCready, Bring the Gasoline. She's sitting at 29/43 chapters posted, and I am still chipping away at her. It's been a while since I plugged this one, so here's the summary:

“Six months, huh? How much fast talking did you do to get here?”   “Enough to keep me alive.” “Really? Cause you don’t act like that’s your goal half the time. Hell, you throw yourself at everything like you’re jumping off a cliff.” Sole survivor Natasha Sokolova is burning through friends faster than she can make them. Robert Joseph MacCready needs all the caps he can get. Problem is, the smooth-talking woman with a pistol and a job offer turns out to be more trouble than he’s counting on. They’re a match made in hell, but their little partnership might be the only thing that can see them through it.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Hmm, well, my partner has far more gun knowledge than I do, so I've consulted him a lot in the past regarding Fallout fic. One thing that springs to mind that he taught me is that a revolver will nearly never jam. The design of the gun itself makes it nearly impossible, because it's rotating each individual bullet into place one at a time, and you can easily/quickly remove the cylinder they're loaded into without digging deeper into the whole gun. I'm obviously very fuzzy on the technical specifics, but I understood enough to change the type of gun for a plot point where I needed it to jame (incidentally, I think I ended up scrapping that entirely and just going for 'the bullets ran out and they didn't have time to reload' instead).

28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?

I haven't! And idk that I've really had any potential fic ideas that would earn the tag. Definitely some ideas that would earn a lot of specific tags, but I don't think the doves are dead enough for that label.

[https-florals]

kitchen counter - s.h.

summary: if you move in with your best friends, there is only one rule. do not fall in love with one of them. you and steve have never been good rule-followers.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: cursing, not proofread at all, steve’s horny constantly

author’s note: kind of new girl au!!! they’re all living in an apartment together because i’m a slut for the roommates to lovers trope. tbh i don’t like this a lot, i have some other wips that i like a lot better but cannot focus on for some reason. gotta lot going on (college apps, show choir, work, blah blah blah) but am doing my best to do what i love best and write for y’all! ❤️❤️❤️

“Holy shit, you are totally in love with him!” Robin’s eyes are wide, and her hand flies out to grab your arm.

Your cheeks go red, and suddenly you want to run out the door. You are painfully aware of the other presence in the little Hawkins apartment, and although Robin’s door is shut, you have a ridiculous dread that said presence is eavesdropping outside. Words stick in your throat, and you’re internally cursing her for reading you so well. “You’re crazy.”

“And you’re a horrible liar.”

Groaning, you cover your face with your hands. “I don’t know,” you whisper, muffled against your palms.

“I think you definitely know,” Robin whispers, and you don’t have to look at her to know that she is grinning like a little kid.

You want to scream, but settle for letting all the thoughts you’ve been bottling up out. “Fine,” you grumble. “I like Steve. Have for a while. It’s just- it’s weird, Rob. I love what we have, and if I screw that up, I think I’ll go insane.” You flop onto your back, and Robin does the same. You’re lying together like two little girls at a slumber party, knees knocking and hair tangled together on pillows as you giggle about boys. The scene is so familiar and comforting that your eyes well a bit. Why? You have no clue.

“Don’t cry!” she exclaims. “We don’t have to talk about it!”

Trying to suck your tears back in, you wave your hands in defense. “No, I need to just get it out.” Just one more deep breath, and you’ll talk. Just one more. Maybe three. “We act like little girls,” you laughs wryly. “We’re nearly grown women, and we’re cuddled up gossiping like middle schoolers.”

“And who cares?,” Robin answers. “The best thing about being grown women is that we can do whatever the hell we want!”

“Damn straight,” you agree. “Have you talked to Vickie recently?”

“Quit changing the subject.” She smacks your arm.

The two of you stare at the ceiling, and you bite the bullet and decide to explain yourself. “I do like him. And I really do feel so stupid and inexperienced, which is so crazy. We’re not in high school anymore. I should have better control or some shit, but I am giggling like a damn fool when he makes stupid jokes, and I’m acting so obviously weird. I can feel it.” You cover your face with your hands again and take another deep breath. “But I can’t do anything about it. Because we fucking live together, and I’d sooner jump off a cliff than ruin this.”

“It would probably ruin the vibe. You might break up, and then Eddie and I will have to vote on who to kick out of the apartment.” She’s joking, but she’s not wrong.

“Exactly,” you whine. “He’s my best friend, and I can’t, absolutely cannot, lose him. If we dated or even hooked up it would make everything so endlessly complicated and I can’t lose what I have with him. Or what I have with you, and Ed. We worked too hard to get this apartment for me to throw it away because I want some dick,” you scowl. “So I have to pretend that nothing is going on. If he found out, things would get weird, then it would get complicated. And I hate when stuff gets complicated.”

“You do love the word complicated,” Robin quips, flipping onto her stomach and sighing. “Listen, I know that you’re scared, and it’s totally understandable. As much as I really, really, really want to help, I’m not going to get involved. Unless you tell me I can.”

“Absolutely not.”

She sighs again, overdramatic as hell. “Okay. Well, just know that I will support you no matter what. If you decide to do it and it gets messy, I will be here. If it goes awesome, I will be here. If you don’t ever tell him your feelings and become sad and lonely, I’ll be extremely disappointed in you, but I won’t tell you.”

“You’re a saint, Robin. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Steve, why are you standing by Robin’s room like that? Are you high?” Eddie is stirring sugar into his mug of tea as he watched the brunet boy hover in the hallway. “You didn’t smoke without me, did you?”

Steve freezes. He doesn’t know what to say to him, all he knows is that he stopped by Robin’s door because he heard you say his name. He’s scared to make even a noise in case the girls hear him.

“Steven,” Eddie says all singsongy, walking towards him, and Steve panics. Before he knows it, he’s shuffling backwards into his room and slamming the door. Thoughts are running rampant through his mind, and the mere shut of his door feels like an explosion in his mind. Another bomb explodes when Eddie opens the door and it swings right into Steve’s face.

“What the fuck, Eddie! Ouch!”

“I didn’t know you were gonna be standing right there, man!”

Steve shushes him, and pushes the door shut with his leg as he hold his nose. “What is wrong with you?”

Eddie’s eyebrow quirks up, lips creasing into a frown. “What is wrong with you?”

Steve lays back onto his bed, sighing. “Other than you nearly breaking my nose? A lot.” He can feel the mattress dip as Eddie sits beside him, and all he can think of is how funny it is that since they first rented the apartment, his breakdowns always result in him lying on his back and Eddie impatiently waiting to give him a piece of his mind. Well, it’s not all he can think about, but he’d much rather think about his best friend than freak out about the girl sitting on the other side of the hall.

When he sits up, Eddie is still there, staring him down with an expression that he can’t quite place.

“She likes me,” Steve blurts. It seems almost like a fever dream, something he had wished for but never truly expected to happen.

“And you like her too. Duh.” Eddie says this like it’s a known fact (it most certainly is, to everyone except you). “What are you going to do?”

Shrugging, Steve puts his hands up and smiles. “What happens will happen, y’know? I’m not gonna freak out about it.”

“Steve, you’re doing that thing where your eyes start to bug out a little. You are absolutely freaking out.”

“I know!” he whisper-shouts, his hands in fists. The room is spinning, and he wants to just crawl in his closet and stay there. There’s too many feelings swirling in his head and he hates it, just about as much as he hates the way you always seem to be in the shower when he has to pee. Just about as much as he hates when you come out in that stupid little red towel, and talk to him so casually, while he’s doing everything he can to not focus on anything about you, and especially not the way your hair is falling over your bare shoulders. Probably would have been a good idea not to move in with his best friend who he’s had a crush on for years. “I don’t know what to do, Eddie.” His voice is strained.

“Pull yourself together,” Eddie answers, his tone surprisingly gentle. “I’ve listened to you talk about her for months, dude. I’m surprised I haven’t caught the two of you fucking on the couch yet. You need to go for it.”

“I overheard her telling Robin that she could never do anything with me because it would get complicated. She doesn’t want me, Eddie, and it’s okay. I’ll just… ” Steve trails off, and Eddie shrugs.

“Your loss, man.”

It’s late when Steve finally comes out of his room. It has to be past midnight, because no one else is in the living room and everyone else’s room lights are off. He’s pulling beer out of the fridge when a door shuts, and you tiptoe out of your room. All you have on is a old, baggy Hawkins High Swim Team shirt. It used to belong to someone else, and you freeze when you see him.

“Want a drink?” He pulls out another bottle.

You give him that awkward close-lipped smile and nod, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

Steve is so glad that the island separates the two of you, cause he just knows that that stupid shirt (his stupid shirt) is riding up as you sit. He opens the beer and slides it to you, acting as nonchalant as he can manage.

Your head is pounding from going over any and all scenarios with Robin, and you know that the alcohol isn’t gonna help your decision-making. You still take a sip, though.

The silence is tense and thick as you sip beer and look at anything but each other.

When the bottle is empty, you decide it’s as good a time as any to face the music. When you get up to throw away your bottle, you lean against the counter. Watch him for a second. Steve’s hair is really messed up, and his eyes are kind of red. “Uh, Steve?”

He has to look at you now. Your hair is in a bun that’s slowly falling, so he decides to watch that instead of the way your eyes are boring through him. “Yeah?”

You blow out a breath, looking at the hardwood. “Listen, Steve, I just- what are you doing?”

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He wishes he could blame this on being drunk, but he hasn’t even finished his beer. Steve pushes a strand from your bun out of your face, and leans closer, your faces barely a hands-breadth apart. “Don’t make it complicated,” he whispers, and you can feel his breath on your cheek.

Suddenly his lips are on yours, and his hands are wrapping around your waist, and your world narrows to the warmth that radiates from every place he is touching you. You can already feel him pressing into you- he got hard the moment you walked out in his shirt. Thinking about anything else other than his hips moving flush against yours seems like a crime, but you can’t ignore the counter digging against her back. You inhale sharply as he presses you against it, a soft “ow” escaping your lips.

“Sorry,” he mumbles against you, shifting you up onto the counter. Steve is painfully aware of his pants and your lack thereof, and his fingers toy with the hem of your (his) shirt.

Your head tilts back as his mouth ghosts over your jawline. “Steve, Steve, please,”

He’s obsessed with the way his name sounds in your mouth, especially with his lips on your neck. Steve lets his fingers drift to her panties, and smiles at your sharp gasp. He’s thinking about pushing the fabric aside and dropping to his knees, but a light flicks on in one of the bedrooms.

There’s a tiny chorus of “Shit!” as you jump off the counter, and Steve leans onto the island attempting to look nonchalant. You lean against the fridge, and he gives you the courtesy of pretending not to notice the way you are crossing and uncrossing your legs as you stand. The movement of Steve readjusting himself catches your eye, and you feel a little bad for not giving him the same courtesy. Just a little, though.

Eddie comes strolling out of his bedroom, seeming not a care in the world. “You gotta start wearing pants,” he addresses you.

You rolls her eyes, rubbing your neck. It’s like Steve’s lips are still there, and you can’t get the feeling out of your head. “You’re literally in your boxers.”

“Well, my buttcheeks don’t hang out of my boxers.” Eddie pulls a waterbottle out of the fridge.

“This shirt literally covers my ass,” you mumble.

He just shrugs. “What are you doing up? It’s like three.”

“Wanted a snack,” You and Steve both say in unison.

“Looks like the snack would be each other,” Eddie says casually, not even looking at you as he raps on Robin’s door. “You owe me 20$!”

Some incoherent grumble comes from the room, followed by a very understandable “About damn time!”

Steve’s head turns quick to look at him, mouth slightly open. “She owes you twenty? Were you- what, betting on us?”

“Kind of,” Eddie calls back, turning to you right before he shuts his door. “Robin thought the two of you’d hook up on the couch first. I bet on the kitchen counter.”

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! i love you all ❤️

[stardustedknuckles]

“Not to be drastic, but I would jump off of a cliff for you”

My tummy hurts, and for some reason I can still put words down? Hurt/comfort, post-canon domestic bliss in the few weeks or months before everyone figures out they weren't actually done yet. During their break, their breather. Few hundred words. Cramps suck. Healing hands are here to help. If Beau will allow it.

"Baby, will you please just let me help?"

Beau's only reply was to curl up a little tighter, a move that might have suggested more of an emotional struggle than Yasha could handle in any other context. In this one, though, it just meant pain - pain Yasha could fix and which her beautiful girlfriend was being extremely stubborn about.

"S'my own fault," she mumbled after a breath. "Felt it coming and didn't put the hot water on in time."

She sounded miserable, an edge to her voice that Yasha hadn't heard for a while and which hurt to hear now. "It's not your fault, and I don't want you to sit here hurting the whole time the water's boiling when I can help you now. It takes forever to get it going in the morning."

"It's not that bad," Beau grunted. "Just a dull ache. It's definitely not bad enough for god magic."

She must have been in some terrible pain - arguing, from Beau, was usually just a front for talking herself into something. If she really didn't want to feel better, she would stick to one word answers and come talk to Yasha later, once it was over and she could think clearly again. She also wouldn't bother to mention the level of pain if it wasn't already very high.

"My god magic, my rules," Yasha said gently, and when she reached for Beau's shoulder there was no mistaking the way she leaned in, not away. Yasha edged carefully forward over their pile of furs until she was again curled around Beau's back with her knees tucked behind - a mirror to the way they had fallen asleep - and propped her head on arm to wait until Beau reluctantly met her gaze. "My rule is that you don't hurt if I'm here to fix it," she told her. So maybe she'd never said it out loud before, but it was still true.

Beau glanced away. "My rule is 'don't waste magic on bullshit I should've seen coming'," she said, which felt less true and yet not entirely wrong. Just wrong for here and now. Those words belonged to an earlier Beau, a Beau who hadn't yet learned what it felt like to be safe. That was alright. Yasha liked reminding her nearly as much as she liked being reminded herself. Beau tensed when she draped her arm over the place where her girlfriend's pressed into her lower stomach, but Yasha only pulled her closer and nosed her ear.

"You're only this mean to yourself when you're already hurt, you know."

She heard Beau's breath stop, though whether it was from sudden realization or pain it was hard to tell. Yasha stroked her thumb over Beau's tense wrist and waited, watching the shadows of the trees outside dance against the wall where they had been splashed by the dawn light creeping through their window and turning slowly from red-orange to soft peach.

Beau took a short, sharp hiss of air that might have gone unnoticed if not for the complete lack of any other sound in the room around them and the way she was already the center of Yasha's attention even more than usual. Her voice, somehow, was almost even quieter than that when she said, "Okay."

"Okay?"

Beau's tense throat moved when she swallowed. "Yeah. Feels like maybe I'm being a dick to you and that sucks."

"I just hate seeing you hurt," Yasha murmured. Gently, she nudged her hand between the arms that reluctantly loosened to allow her access to the hot, dam skin of her stomach beneath. "I don't care what caused it. I can fix it, and I want to." She usually sent up a mental prayer to the Stormlord for this - it seemed right, since all the glowier parts of her power tended to come from him - but she leaned into her last sentence with the simple truth of it and immediately felt the warm current of magic begin to spread from her fingertips. That made some sort of sense, she supposed. Fixing, protecting - it was all bound up in her same sense of purpose. It was what she was for.

Beau made a strangled sound of relief and shuddered, fingers closing around Yasha's forearm even as the stiff curve of her spine melted against her chest. "Fuck," she rasped, and Yasha could see unshed tears in her eyes. "You're incredible."

Thank-yous were very often apologies in disguise from Beau, and Yasha was relieved to hear neither in her girlfriend's voice, stronger now. She hummed and dropped her arm to scoop Beau from under as well as over and pull her as flush as was possible, dropping a kiss on the crown of her head and nosing lightly at her hair. "It's true. I'm definitely the best and warmest waterskin in the whole world."

It was a testament to how quickly and thoroughly the magic had taken effect that Beau chuckled outright at that, even through the embarrassment Yasha could feel radiating from all of her body language. "And I'm the idiot who can't think straight with a shark in my guts."

"Well," Yasha offered slowly. "I happen to be very glad you don't think straight. Usually."

"Oh shit." Beau wiggled in her arms to look up at her. "That was smooth as fuck, babe. You're getting good."

Yasha preened. "I am learning from the best."

The smile Beau offered was tight with residual pain but sincere, and she squirmed again so that they were facing each other before laying a hand on Yasha's cheek. "Yash," she said seriously. "I don't mean to be dramatic, but I would jump off a cliff for you."

There was another joke here; Yasha could feel it. It was true that she'd been getting better at making them, if only from watching Beau crack them so easily, but despite knowing there was one in front of them the only thing she could think to reply was, stupidly, "I would catch you again."

She was utterly confused by the way Beau's face cracked into a wide grin, but then her knee was pushing between Yasha's as she burrowed close and let out a long exhale and Yasha had nothing in her to protest. She was used to being confused when it came to things like this, social stuff, and if that confusion somehow earned her early-morning snuggles during the time Beau would usually be up and out for a morning run, well. Even better.

"Thank you," Beau said after a few minutes of contented breathing. Yasha, who assumed she'd gone back to sleep and was halfway to doing the same, only just managed to keep from jumping out of her skin. "You were right," Beau continued, steady and with no trace of guilt. "I do get extra shitty about myself when stuff hurts. Thanks for waiting for me to quit being a stubborn idiot when we both know you could've just..." She wiggled a hand between them in a gesture that probably meant magic.

"I wouldn't do that, no. I wouldn't do anything if you really didn't want me to."

"I know." Beau yawned, long and sweet. "That's kinda why it's easier to let you, even when I'm convinced I gotta just tough it out. It is a little ridiculous that you used god magic for period bullshit though, like objectively."

Yasha considered that for a moment. "I don't think I can be objective with you. I hope that's alright."

A beat. "You know, that's a really good point. I'm just still getting used to it, I think. Having someone in my corner all the time. Like in a different way from the Mighty Nein, you know. Deeper."

"Yeah," Yasha said softly. She touched her nose again to Beau's hair and breathed her in gently, holding her close and soaking in the feel and the smell and the life of her. "I know what you mean."

"Guess we'll get there together, huh?"

"Oh, I'm counting on it."

"Count later," Beau yawned. "Sleep now."

Yasha caught her yawn and put it back into the world twice as strong. "Way ahead of you."

Beau didn't reply, so probably that wasn't true. But then, in all the right ways, it often wasn't. And that was perfect.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Oh good someone found the 'metrosexual' Eddie! I tried finding it but there's so many comics to look through... anyways though the one where Poison Ivy grabs him by the balls and tells him he doesn't have any is from Detective Comics 797-799. Ed also spends the whole time lamenting that he "doesn't understand women" while being led through Ivy's jungle by a hulking handsome man and wondering why that guy's here to lead him around when Ivy hates men. He's really just like that post that goes "a character so misogynistic he circles back around to being gay"

alright well. I auditioned a couple quick jokey responses to this that would let me just get on with my night but. nope. simply wouldn't suffice. since you went to all the trouble of telling me EXACTLY which issues to dig this up in, might as well have a gander.

first off I'd just like to say from the bottom of my heart

outta my way gay boy I'm boutta get it

anyway this whole plot is apparently kicked off because everyone's pissed off at Eddie because of the Hush thing and trying to kick his ass and for some reason he decides the solution to this is to hide out in a park that Poison Ivy has taken over and turned into an impenetrable super-jungle. I personally love when the Riddler is being hunted for sport, so this is great for me.

already lost and sweaty he encounters the hulking handsome man anon warned us about, who looks like this if anyone's curious

not really my cup of tea but he looks like he takes great care of that hair and I respect that he's dressed for comfort

should be mentioned that this bullshit takes place as an entirely separate story smack at the end of issues that are actually mostly about Bruce, Barbara, and Cass trying to stop some kind of turbo gang war. may or may not be related to whatever's going on over in Poison Ivy's helljungle; I'd like to thing the editors threw it in as a little treat for the readers. alright gang, we've slogged through an awful lot of violence and Bat-angst - now put on Yakety Sax and watch the Riddler have an absolutely terrible time!

anyway, onwards to #798. the Eddie and Pam segment begins with what I can only describe as an incel collage

in light of that last one I do feel the need to bring back this bad image I made recently as part of my awful ongoing quest to watch Gotham

Pam tells Eddie that he's not a real supervillain because, and I am paraphrasing slightly here, he's a little bitch and absolutely no one wants to work for him because there's 0 prestige involved. she announces that she's going to kill him (fair) and he decides to just take his chances jumping off a cliff instead. godspeed, you little freak.

the Pam & Eddie portion of #799 opens with Eddie once again sweaty and hauling ass through the jungle while Pam dicks around with him, getting increasingly aggravated. she steals his tie to be petty and also says this, which

idk there's some kind of metaphor for queer discourse in there somewhere, right?

anyway Pam gets his ass so good Eddie just begs her to get it over with and kill him, at which point Pam pulls the ol' switcheroo and decides to just let him leave as an even bigger emotional wreck than he was to begin with.

anyway in conclusion he's pathetic and definitely riding the self-pitying incel train hard but there's not actually any instance of Poison Ivy referring to, targeting, or otherwise involving his balls in any way. her MO here seems to lean much more towards vine-based bondage and asphyxiation than CBT.

and that's probably for the best.

anyway for those curious this mini-story, titled "Low," was published in 2004, written by Shane McCarthy with art by Tommy Castillo, Rodney Ramos, Tony Avina, and Nick Napolitano.

[halfeviltotty]

Osomatsu X Erina/OC/Self Insert

Disclaimer: These are personalized fics for @girlymatsu and use some of his personal details such as parts of his background. So this isn’t one size fit all and isn’t intended to be.

There is sexual content or suggestive themes but no other triggers that I can think of.

“Say, doctor.” Osomatsu announces into the room to Choromatsu’s turnt back. “Put your dick away, I need advice.” Osomatsu rolls his eyes and digs the wax out of his ear while Choromatsu gets all of his shrieking insults out of his system. “I mean it, I need advice!” Choromatsu’s cursing his name and bloodline and all of that bullshit but Osomatsu doesn’t care because he’s in a serious dilemma!

“You’re disgusting, Osomatsu! Did you know that?! You’re the worst – we all hope you die.” Osomatsu waves his little brother off. “That’s the thing I wanted to talk to you about!” Osomatsu drags his body past Choromatsu who’s just beginning to put up those magazines and pull his pants up. “What? That we all want you dead? It’s true, we’re all counting the days down until you slip on a banana peel off a cliff. Hurry up, bastard.”

That makes sense. Osomatsu knows that’s probably the truth so he’s not even going to dispute it or think about the implications on how that’s going to affect his fragile psyche. At the moment only one thing is on his mind and it’s your smile as he lies down on his back. The cushions don’t feel as soft without Osomatsu’s head on your lap and it doesn’t feel as nice when he stares up to the ceiling without making eye contact. You wouldn’t have said something like that to Osomatsu, in fact in the back of his head Osomatsu can hear your voice, “I’m not.” And Osomatsu would ask you to clarify what you mean. To repeat those words because in his mind they’d be a confession. “I’m not waiting for you to die, I want live with you as long as possible.”

Osomatsu sighs heavily as the blood rushes to his cheeks and the world goes pastel. Everything about you is cute, you’re smart, your comedic timing is one of the best Osomatsu’s ever seen before and he works with some real professionals, and…Osomatsu lets his mind drift just for a moment about your body but his mind immediately jumps back to the memory of your laughter. “Choromatsu-sensei I have a problem.” Osomatsu announces once more with both of his hands gripping the pine symbol on this red hoodie. Right where his heart is. “What’s wrong?” Choromatsu’s heaving a sigh, “I think I might be broken.” Osomatsu begins.

“Yes, you definitely are a broken person but we’ve been over that. What’s wrong?” Osomatsu wishes his brother would be kinder but he swallows down the comment. “Well I’ve been hanging out with Erina-chan a lot lately.” Choromatsu groans and nods, “Yeah?”

“Well…” Osomatsu fidgets more with his hoodie because it’s hard to put these emotions into words. His heart is beating so rapidly as he imagines what kind of things you’d say right now. What are you doing? Where are you? Can Osomatsu join you when he’s finished getting advice? Would you smile and accept him? Will you eventually leave? What is he going to do if you go? These are things that worry him a lot, in fact more than they probably should but aren’t you so cute? Is he being selfish because Osomatsu wants to keep you all to himself forever? That he wants to be the only one you think about? When you hear a funny joke could it be Osomatsu you think to repeat it to first? When you hear good news or bad news can Osomatsu be the one you turn to first? The one you wake up next to in the morning, the one you show your tamagotchi grin to, the one who holds your hand, who kisses you?

“When I’m with Erina I feel really different – sometimes in a good way. It’s like a crush but kind of painful? With Totoko-chan I always knew none of us had a real shot but this is different.” Osomatsu begins after a long period of thought. “It’s easier to deal with fake rejection than real rejection…and that scares me? But I don’t know, I get so happy when I see her so I kind of want to ask her out even though I’m afraid?”

Choromatsu glares at his brother and plops onto the floor loudly. “And you’re looking for advice, right?” Osomatsu turns over to Choromatsu and nods with puppy dog eyes. “I like her.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that Osomatsu-niisan?” Choromatsu says with pseudo aggression. “Everyone can see you love her, so why not go confess?” Osomatsu’s surprised just how adorable his little brother can be, wow that guy really does have some redeemable qualities to him. “Should I?” Choromatsu nods excitedly, “Yeah! You definitely should!”

“Do you mean it?!” Choromatsu continues nodding.

“For real?!” Osomatsu sits up and Choromatsu keeps bobbing his head in agreement.

“Like, right now?!”

“Yes!” Choromatsu’s patience is waning but Osomatsu’s too excited and too much of a bully to let up.

“Seriously?!”

“Get the fuck outta here!”  Choromatsu uppercuts Osomatsu and storms out of the room. “Thanks Chorofappsky-sensei!”

“Die!”

[internalsealpanic]

Sealing the Deal part 2

Summary:  Dick has a perfectly reasonable idea.

a/n: There will probably be more parts to this since you people gave me so many ideas but for now here is some soft smut. Did I finish this just in time for the end of mermay? Yes.

warning: Attempt at soft smut

Main Masterlist

Part 1

"Let's get married."

 It takes around a minute for you to even register the fact that Dick had even said anything at all and another to parse out the meaning behind his words. You look up from the piece you've been slaving over for hours while Dick dozed on your lap. 

 "Let's get married." He repeats earnestly. 

 You narrow your eyes at him. You... clearly missed at least 2 diatribes and 40% of this conversation. "Uh Dickie, my love, did I miss the part where you divorced me or did I sleep through it like I did when Wally was preaching about raw fish?" You set your tools down and pull his pelt more tightly around you, feeling oddly protective of it. 

 Seeing you wrapped up in his pelt never failed to make Dick's chest flutter; unfortunately, he had to focus on the matter at hand. "As I was saying, we're married but not in the human way. "

 "Ah- Yeah, I see that but.. that seems entirely unnecessary." 

 "There's no harm in it." Dick says, looking at you with big hopeful eyes. No matter whether it’s his liquid seal eyes or his bright baby blues, you’re still a sucker. 

 He is definitely up to something. Dick always uses that look when he really wants something and you can already feel yourself falling for it. Who thought giving this man the cutest face in the world was a good idea? Who?! You sigh. Spousal homicide is a bad idea, you tell yourself. 

 "You're so lucky you're terribly cute," you huff, "you're also lucky that there's a ferry coming tomorrow."

 You mentally calculate how much time the whole trip would take but you know all that arithmetic is useless when you hazard a look at your husband.  Dick beams, dimples appear at the corners of his mouth, and makes the happiest little noises.

  You lean over the railing, watching the sea and feeling the wind comb through your hair. A pair of arms wraps around you making you squeak. 

 Dick buries his face in your hair and he sweeps you into his arms. "How's the most beautiful creature in the world?"

 "Dunno Dick, how are you?" You smile.

 Dick sniffles. "You're not allowed to be this cute."

 "Hypocrite." You laugh wrapping your arms around him. 

 He nudges his face against yours. 

 "Are you liking your first boat ride?"

 "I could still swim faster." Dick hums.

 You roll your eyes. "Sadly for us, I can't."

 "It's ok," he says, brushing his lips against the shell of your ear," it just means you can't escape me on this boat."

 "Pfffft!"

 "You're saying that now but look who I have in my hold." He chuckles, lips brushing against your neck.

 "We're in public you dork!" You squeal.

 "And?"

 You sigh."You just like embarrassing me."

 "Yup. Just ask Jaso- What's that?!" Dick says pointing to a statue on the shore. It was tall and proud with hair cascading down like a waterfall with a visage as hard as the rock it's carved on. You narrow your eyes trying to recall what the local told your father when you were younger.

 "Oh, it's... It's a sea goddess I believe or maybe a selkie." You shrug at Dick who looks at it in awe. You supposed this is the first time he's seen a statue that big.

 "I thought you said the people on the mainland didn't believe in selkies?"

 "Er... ok, so there are mainlanders who are more inland where I come from and there's people near the sea. No, there are more divisions than that but- Ok, so the place where I came from the sea wasn't as important but here it is so they probably have more folk tales."

 "I guess that makes sense," Dick says burying his face in your hair. "Did you have any folk tales?"

 "Some but it was mostly cautionary about maidens being stolen away."

 "Guess you didn't listen to them, huh?" he says, "did they say anything about stealing hearts?" Dick winks one of those winks that only he could make cute. 

 You huff into your scarf.  "More about eating them, I think."

 "I can do that if you want." He smirks cheekily.

You pat his cheek, trying to be as irritatingly condescending as possible.  "You're still not scary."

 Dick takes your hand in his and brings it closer to his lips. He pretends to bite at your fingers, his sharp canines dragging along the skin and nipping at the joints.  "It’s because I love you so much."

 Dick alternates between gawking at perfectly common sights like large cargo ships and flocks of sheep on the cliff and teasing the life out of you for the rest of the ferry ride. 

 You are the tiniest bit mortified that several passengers have seen your husband drag his teeth over your skin and toss you in the air for the fun of it. Dick was horrible at keeping a low profile. Not that acting reserved would have mattered anyway given how everyone's eyes were always drawn to him. 

 You can't blame them, his laughter is infectious and his smile was enough to make the gloomy morning look like a bright summer afternoon.  You really really don't blame them for gawking but you just wish they wouldn't.

Not even fifteen minutes onshore and you're reminded why you only ever went into town with your father. Being meek by nature, you're often the target for unruly sailors. It never got too bad, not enough for you to call the cops at least. You would be lying if you wish it wasn't such a common occurrence to have some random guy shove his hand down your back pocket and squeezes your ass. 

 You jump, nearly dropping the little map of shops your father had drawn for you a while ago. A man passes behind you snickering quietly and yeah, knocking his teeth in would be amazing.

 "Hey buddy, do you mind apologizing?" Dick asks, his voice dangerously pleasant. 

 There's a gnawing sense of foreboding forming in your stomach. It squirms in your gut until you grab Dick's sleeve. "Dick," you hiss, "it's not worth it."

 You'd looked at the man and sadly, it really wasn't worth getting Dick's face punched in on his first visit to the mainland. You don't think anything worth getting Dick hurt.

 The men turn back to your and the dread in your stomach solidifies. Even your dad was never dumb enough to piss off sailors especially ones built like I train would be dented when hitting them. 

 "I don't see the problem, pretty boy," the man spits like he'd said the word fungus, "The lass doesn't have a problem with it, do you?" He leers at you. It makes your skin crawl.  He steps closer, invading your space, and places a hand on your shoulder. "This lassy here and I go waaaay back." He says, sliding his hand down your arm. You have absolutely no doubt that this man is sloshed because you have never seen him before in your life. You are pretty plain, so that makes sense but yeah, this is the first time you've seen his mug.

 "A lass like you shouldn't be dressing like that if you know what's good for you."You open your mouth to protest but only manage to tighten your grip on Dick's sleeve.

 There's a split second between Dick flickering his eyes to you and the satisfying sound of a fist making contact with a jaw. The man falls to the ground narrowly avoiding smashing his head into the cobblestones.

 "Get up and apologize to her." Dick growls, teeth bared.  He pushes forward. You're about as stunned as the man on the ground. Dick's poised for a fight and you have no doubt he'll have no problem getting into a row. You need to stop Dick from doing anything stupid. You wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing your eyes shut.  You bury your face into his coat.  You want to tell him that it's fine, that you're used to things like this, that you don't want him to get hurt. This whole thing isn't worth him getting hurt. You're not worth him getting hurt.  But the only thing you can manage is a weak "It's not worth it."

 Dick squeezes your hand. You're trembling and Dick feels awful for scaring you but he doesn't stop glaring at the man. He guesses he's made his point loud and clear. He softens a fraction, maneuvering you to his side and wrapping an arm around you. There's still a snarl caught in the back of his throat but contrary to popular belief, Dick isn't hot-headed enough to ignore you. All he wants to do now is get you to safety. 

 You squeeze him with your arms, your face still scrunched as if bracing for impact. "Let's go shopping for those rings, yeah?"

 Dick sighs with an indulgent smile. "Ok, honey."  He kisses the crown of your head. "I love you, I’m sorry."

 "Don’t be sorry," you say, snuggling tighter into him. "You know I only want you and--” That wasn’t even the point. You are really bad at this. “--and you really should be more careful. What if you got hurt?"

 "Did you miss that killer right hook? He sure didn't."

 A small smile shapes your lips. "Moron."

 "Still love me though." He says, bringing your knuckle to his lips.

 You shake your head. "It's unfortunate really."

 "You know the more time I spend here the less I believe the fact that you didn't know what selkies were," Dick says holding up another seal necklace.

 You look at him, wince at the bruise blooming on his knuckle but continue. "My dad and I went into town twice a year and they were only ever day trips." You say, setting down a cheap shot glass with a blubbering seal. It wasn't strictly a lie. It was more of a guesstimate. You look away from him and mumble a "I thought they were called Setties."

 Dick snorts loudly and you have a heart attack thinking he reverted back to his seal form. "Setties?" He snorts again and you think he's gonna suck in all the dust from the store. 

 "Yes, Setties." You repeat grumpily, "I was 7. Cut me some slack!"

 "When have I ever cut you some slack?"

 "Never."

 "Mhm, exactly."

 "Why do I love you again?" 

 "Because I'm the cutest person, you know?" 

 "I dunno, Dickie." You drawl, picking up a couple of little seal stuffed toys. They were cute with their round faces and distended bodies. Their black eyes didn't quite do justice to your favorite trouble maker but they're close enough in huggableness."These little guys could give you a run for your money."

 Dick makes an affronted squawk. You hold them to Dick's face for inspection and ask: "Should we buy the black one or the white one?" Truly, a matter of life and death. 

 Dick scrunches his face in thought. "The black one obviously."

 "But the white one looks cute too." You whine. 

 Dick gives you a grumpy pout. You ignore him.  "Why don’t we get both?"

 Dick crosses his arms. "Why-"

 "Yanno... A pair like us..." You say, pulling them closer to your chest and looking up at him hopefully. 

 Dick looks at you wearily. "How could I argue against such a solid argument?"  Dick says, tousling your already windswept locks.

 "What do you think I’d look like as a seal?" You ask absently as you exit the store. You'd managed to drive the price down with a little haggling and a bit of distraction from Dick.

 "Beautiful."

 You grin at him.  "Again buttering me up won't make me buy you more sweets."

 "I can think of other things to eat." Dick says, his pink tongue darting over his lips as he looks at you. 

 You swallow, mouth feeling dry. Dick is horrible to you today.

The old antique shop was dustier than you remembered. Part of you suspects that the particles sprinkled on all the shelves is in fact just the old owner's cremated remains but you don't really wanna find out if it's true.

 You comb through the shelves, feeling like a pirate in search of treasure. The expensive rings with their big rind stones were stowed away on a shelf behind the shopkeeper but everyone one knows that if you want the good stuff you have to search for it yourself. 

 Dick seems to be happy looking through all the strange knickknacks, so you carry on. 

 You nearly squeal with glee when you find a ring. It was a band of silver carved into the shape of a seal curling in on itself as it slumbers. You smile holding it close to your chest.  "Give me your finger." 

 "That... is a very strange way to put it."

 "Just give me your hand." You say holding out your own.  Dick, still incredulous, puts his hand in yours. You bite back a smile as you put the ring on his ring finger. Your lips stretch even as you dig your teeth in. It was a good fit. You're embarrassed to say you were bouncing on your heel with excitement.The silver looks lovely against his tanned skin. 

 Dick inspects it.  "And you said subtlety wasn't my element."

 "It really isn't," you say, smiling down at his hand. "But I never did say it was mine either." You could easily find another ring if he doesn't like it but you're quietly hoping he does. You try not to watch his face, not read too deeply into his expressions. 

 "I like it. Let's try to find a matching one."

Much to your amusement, you did find something but it's.... You snort as you put it on. 

 "It kind of matches." Dick says wearily. 

 "It's a fish." You laugh.

 "Um... it's a pretty silver fish."

 "Absolutely ravishing, huh?"

 "Exactly like my wife." Dick says, nipping at your ear. 

 Your ear burns and you cover it hastily.  

 "Let's just go pay for them." You say, shoving at him lightly.

 "So you do like it?" He asks, peaking through your fingers. 

 "Yes, you dork. Now, stop being cute." You say, shoving him again. 

 "Never." He chuckles.

"Is this the statue from the harbor?" Dick asks, poking at the little replica on the shopkeep's counter. 

 "Aye lad, the natives worshiped the sea before we came along. Kooky fellows but they knew a thing or two about the sea. They even talked about the selkie. Those blood-thirsty women folk of the sea. "

 Dick scrunches his nose. You press the heel of your palm to your lips holding back a laugh.

 "Well, I’ve heard some different of stories." Dick says, leaning into the counter, his eyes shining mischievously. 

 The old shopkeep leans in, looking around. "Like what?"

 Dick leans in a bit more, his voice hushed and conspiratorial.  "I hear they try to trap fair maidens into marriage to bear children for them."

 Dick winks unabashedly. You flush. "What?!"

 "C'mon lad," the shopkeeper snorted like a walrus, "we all know that all selkies are women folk."

 "That’s the thing," Dick says, resting his hands on his intertwined fingers. He grins. "I’ve been out at sea a while, my whole family has aaaaand," he drawls in his other voice. The shopkeep looks entranced.  "We've heard of different tales." 

 "Do tell."

 "My family have heard tales of male selkies, those who seek women to carry on the selkie way." Dick pushes off the counter, spinning around on his heel theatrically. "We heard of old lore when they used to kidnap unsuspecting women by the sea shore." You vaguely recall this version but it seemed like ages ago.  "But now," he says, stepping closer to you. "Now, they are much more persuasive." Dick winks at you and you resist the urge to elbow him.

 "I also heard they're quite persistent." You say, leaning against him. 

 "Quite." Dick says a little too fondly. 

 "Hnnn, never heard that one." The shopkeep says tilting his head. "Do you have anymore?"

 "Oh, I have a ton of seafaring stories if you'd like. I’ve heard stories about the Cthulhu."

 "Cthulhu?"

 "The great horror of the deep."

 "The only horror here is the lack of treasure chests." The shopkeep huffs. You would be inclined to agree if Tim and Damian weren't so good at finding them.

 "Oh this is no tall-tale my friend," Dick says, wrapping an arm around the man's shoulders, "we heard that he awakes once every 10 years to roam the deep seas. Why do you think boats go missing with no trace?"

 Monsoons, you think.

 "Like that submarine last summer!" 

 Dick nods sagely "Exactly."

 You want to slap your palm against your forehead. There is no way he can believe that hokey, right? ... You are literally married to a selkie. Do you really have any room for skepticism? You sigh. You suppose not. 

"The sea is a mysterious maiden just like those sires. A tricky bunch, slippery and smart not like mermaids."

 "Have you ever heard one?!" The shopkeep nearly folds over the counter.

 "Once when I’d been at sea for 4 months, I heard the most beautiful song in my life, kind of like a mirage but it was a misty night at sea."

 The shopkeeper gasps. 

 You blink. This is news to you.

 "Luckily, my father pulled me from the towboat before I set off towards it."  You try to imagine it and somehow it's funnier than the idea of Dick being bloodthirsty.

 Dick regails Bruce's spat with a sea witch and Alfred's horrifying tale with a kraken. Even you were enthralled by all his tales. Having the shopkeep thoroughly wrapped around his finger. He leans in close again. "Sorry, I got so lost. How much were these rings again?"

 The man blinks as if resurfacing from a trance. "A sea-loving man like you? You can keep it for five coffers."

 You gape at him, eyes blown wide.  That’s less than what you pay for bread. 

 The man turns to you. "Lass, you better keep an eye on him. This one belongs to the sea."

 He's... not wrong. 

 "You really are too kind," Dick says handing the money over. 

 "Anytime lad. Feel free to come back with more of your stories!" He calls out as you two walk out the door.

“Since when were you a sailor?” You ask, nudging your shoulder against his.

 “Since Jay told me stories.” He answers, nudging back. 

 “So they were all made up?” You ask, shaking his arm.

 Dick hums noncommittally.

  You frown at him. “C’mon fess up, pup.” 

 “Not *all* of them. I just spiced up the truth, that’s all.”

 “The sirens?”

Dick freezes. 

“Wait, are sirens real?” You gape, pounding your hand on his chest. 

 “Well, kinda.”

 “Kinda?!”

 Dick walks ahead of you trying to avoid your question. He does the mature thing and plugs his ears with his fingers. You continue to pester him all the way down the street. 

 The scent from the bakery wafted in the air calling to both of you as you two continue to bicker. Your stomachs cry out in a chorus. You look at your watch. You knew you'd forgotten something. 

 "I'll get us something to eat," Dick says, clearly staring at the cupcakes. Getting cupcakes wouldn't hurt. It would be better than getting an actual wedding cake. 

 You shake your head. "I might sit for a bit." You say handing him your purse and wrenching the bags from his grip. He huffs but doesn't complain. 

 You park yourself on a bench just outside the bakery. Going to town is just as exhausting as you remember it being. You lull your head back, looking to the sky. What are the odds that it's safe to just doze off here on the bench? Probably pretty low.

 Dick watches you from a window, snickering. You were so cute when you're nodding off.  He should probably ask if they sell coffee too because you look like you're going to need the entire pot.

 He lets a woman go in front of him because Alfred taught him manners and not because he was delighted to see you nearly fold into your shopping bags. You startle and yelp then straighten up. Great seas, you're so cute.

 "Hey handsome, can I get a name?"

 Dick turns to the woman with an amicable smile. "Oh, the name's Dick."

"I'm ..." Dick is barely paying attention when he sees you take out one of the rings you'd bought with a stupidly happy smile on your face as you try it on. You look up at your hand and Dick can't help the twitch of his mouth. 

 You wave to him, feeling his eyes on you. He waves back with a thousand-watt smile. 

 There's a hand sprawled on his chest. "I've never seen you here before." The woman purrs. Dick steps back, feeling a bit uncomfortable. 

 "I'm from out of town-"

 "That explains it." She says, batting her eyes. 

 Dick's not too concerned, not when you've just disappeared from his sight. Dick's about to run outside when he feels a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist. 

 "My husband and I are just here for a day trip to run some errands." You huff glaring at the woman.

 Dick wraps an arm around you, chuckling at the priceless expression on your face. 

 "Dickie, did you want to introduce me?" You ask sweetly.

 "Sorry, I didn't quite catch your name." Dick says, feeling genuinely bad because he really wasn't paying attention.  In his defense, you were distracting him. 

 "I'm Mia."

 "I'm (Y/n)." You say trying not to puff your cheeks. You clearly just want the woman to go away.

 Dick wants to pinch you for being so cute. The disgustingly sweet aura you two radiate was enough to make the woman go away. Much to your relief and Dick's amusement.  Dick lets himself sink into your embrace.

 Dick pinches your cheek as you get the bread from the counter. You swat his hand away with a loaf of slightly stale bread you were gonna rework later. "What?!"

 "Nothing, you're just so damn cute, honey." Dick laughs, pinching your cheek again.

 "Says the dork who punched someone." You say, pecking him on the lips. 

 Dick rolls his eyes. "He totally deserved it." 

 "Sure, sure."

 Ok, he did.

 Dick pecks your lips. "Let's go find you a bouquet and a minister so you can keep that ring on."

 You flush not noticing that you haven't taken the ring off. Dick looks down at you like he's the luckiest man in the world.

“Will it still make you happy?” Dick asks, fidgeting in front of the courthouse. 

 You raise a brow at him prompting him to elaborate. 

 “Getting married without a proper ceremony, I mean.”

 Ah. You clutch the bouquet of cornflowers to your chest, twining your finger with his. “As long as I have you it’ll be perfect.”

 Dick sniffles. “Stop saying things like that.”

 “You started~”

 Dick presses his forehead against your, letting out a low trill. “I can’t wait to sign on the paper and make you my wife. Officially.”

 You nudge your nose against his. “I can’t wait either.”

The minister looks between the two of you suspiciously, probably looking for signs of which one of you suggested eloping. “You may now say your vows.” 

 Dick takes out a crumpled sheet of paper with yellowing edges. In a cool crisp voice, he begins to speak:

 “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

 The wind rises in your chest, tears welling up in your eyes. You try to keep yourself together.

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.”

 You cup your hand over your mouth, your father’s words coming to life through Dick’s voice.  

 “Love never fails.”

 Dick reaches out to you, wiping the tears running down your face. You don’t know if Dick knows how much that meant to you but you’re endlessly thankful. 

 You feel flush. You’re not really sure you could follow that up. God, you really should have prepared more. You take a deep breath and will yourself not to turn tail and run. 

 Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm;

for love is strong as death,

passion fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

a raging flame.

Many waters cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

If one offered for love

all the wealth of one’s house,

it would be utterly scorned.

 Dick looks at you, fondness curving his lips. You smile back at him sheepishly. 

The minister clears his throat. “You may now kiss the bride.”

 Dick picks you up and spins you around then brings you close to kiss you. You giggle at his theatrics. In the corner of your vision, you could see the minister just looking extremely tired. 

 “Give me the bouquet.”

 You don’t mainly because you have a policy of making people explain things before you do anything and also because you were hoping to throw the bouquet yourself. 

 Dick tilts his head. “Uh, give me two.” He pauses. “Please?” “Will you promise me this won’t curse anyone?”

 “Just because my dad’s girlfriend is a sea witch does not mean I curse people.”

 “And you feel absolutely no need to unpack that, huh?”

 “Sweetie, pleeeeeease.” He gives you the big eyes and you silently wonder how selkie divorce works. 

 You hand him two flowers. He pinches off the stems and says: “Hold out your hands.”

 “Can I at least know what kind of ungodly ritual my husband is suckering me into?” You huff as he puts one of the cornflowers in your palms. 

 “It’s more superstition really. My mom used to say that if you tell a flower about your love for someone and let the sea carry it away, then your love will be able to weather storms.”

 You want to tell him that based on the stories the sea had nothing to do with the ferocity of his parent’s love  but when you look back into the glitter of nostalgia in his eyes you know that there is nothing for it. 

 You hold the cornflower close, whispering promises to it, an endless litany of devotions that you hope only the sea will hear. Dick beside you does much the same with regular pauses and additions to his. When you’re both finished, you let the flowers fall harmlessly into the water and watch them, despite all odds, drift together in the ocean.  

  Dick nuzzles you into the floor. You lay flat on his pelt as Dick hovers over you. He kisses you, nipping at your bottom lip. You hum and slide your hands up his back and part your lips to give him access. Dick pulls away, dragging his lips down your face. His teeth graze on the skin of your neck. Feeling ticklish, you giggle. He smiles pressing another wet kiss to your skin before pulling back. You whine already missing the close contact. 

 "I think we forgot something." Dick says, gently grasping your wrist and kissing it. 

 You furrow your brow. You play with his hair as you try to think. "Pretty sure we did everything," you mumble. You shiver when you feel Dick's teeth catch on your pulse, his luminescent eyes staring at you intently. "I'm telling you, sweetheart, you're forgetting something."

 You groan. It would be easier to think if Dick's lips weren't on your skin. "We've gotten the rings, thrown the rice, and hit Wally in the head with the bouquet..." You bite back a squeak when Dick sucks a hickey onto your wrist. 

 "Getting warmer, darling."

 You flush. You try to control your breathing but your skin feels so hot against his. You and Dick have met with a minister and he's also carried you over the threshold... All that's left is...

 You can feel Dick's hand slide up your shirt, his hand warm against your chilly skin. "Consummation." You whisper, swallowing thickly. 

 Dick's eyes are bright and mischievous in the firelight.  "Bingo." He lets go of your wrist and lowers himself to press a hungry kiss on your lips; it was all tongue and teeth as his hips move against yours. He pinches your nipples between his fingers drawing out a gasp from you. Dick takes this chance to deepen the kiss. He groans into the kiss when you tug at his hair.You moan against him, wrapping your legs around his waist trying to pull him closer.  Your movements are clumsy, speaking to your inexperience. Dick is going to take his time with you. 

 Dick kisses your nose and pulls away. He can’t resist. Dick drags the shirt slowly over his body. He hears your breath hitch and a vain sort of pride fuels Dick’s ego. It was one thing for other people to tell him he was pretty. It was an entirely different thing to have you look at him with so much awe and reverence. That look in your eyes always makes his skin prickle with delight. 

 You trace the shape of his muscles with your fingers, your mouth parted slightly as you drink in the sight of him. Dick is no less awe-inspiring than the first time you saw him. You marvel over the scars crisscrossing his chest and arms. None of the imperfections on his skin ever managed to dull his beauty. Unfairly, they only enhanced it and took your breath away every time you noticed a new detail about him. Your hand drifts down to the V of his abs; the tough makes him tremble as it dips closer to the hem of his pants. Dick takes in a sharp breath before kissing you again. It was partly because he could never get enough of your lips and partially to get your attention.  

 “Honey, I want to see you too.” He whispers into your lips. 

 Your body locks up at his words and a heat spreads across your chest, your neck, and up to your ears. Your mouth feels so dry all of a sudden and your feet turn into blocks of ice. What if Dick finds you repulsive? What if he sees you naked and he can’t stand what he sees? Will he leave or will he smile through it all the while gritting his teeth through it? You’re not pretty, not the way Dick is and you certainly can’t measure up to the other Selkies you’ve met. How the flying fuck were you supposed to compte with Babs or Kori? You seriously consider running away and hiding in your room until you feel Dick’s teeth graze against the column of your neck. 

 “Please.” He breathes and his voice is so thick with want that it’s enough for you to forget the desire to melt into the baseboards even for just a moment. You don’t want him to be disappointed, to know that he’s traded down. You’re scared. You don’t want to be but you’re fucking terrified.

 “It’s ok,” he whispers. “I know you’re nervous.” He kisses your forehead. Dick knows he needs to be patient. He’s waited to feel all of you for this long. He’s willing just to wait a bit more if it means you’re comfortable. 

 You close your eyes, grabbing the hem of your shirt. Dick kisses your eyelid. He bites his lip, resisting the urge to sink his teeth into your flesh. It’s so supple and hot against his. Instead, he busies himself by helping you out of your bra but his fingers are clumsy with his brain too full of your skin. You giggle as you both fumble for the clasps. 

     Dick wastes no time peppering your chest with kisses once you’re completely bare. “So pretty.” Dick purrs against your chest. He nuzzles into the valley of your breasts as he feels your breaths even out. Sliding his hands up and down your sides reverently, he makes certain that you know just how beautiful you are with every bite, every kiss, and every touch.

 His attention goes to your breasts. You arch your back as Dick begins rolling your nipples between his teeth. He savors all the little gasps and mewls you make. "Dick." You sigh out his name happily. Dick groans, hips gyrating against yours. "Dick." You repeat, tugging at his hair. You rock your hips in time with his.

 Your voice is driving him insane. The way his name rolls off your tongue like silk fries his nerves. All he wants to do is make you scream it over and over while he takes care of you and lets you know just how good you feel against him. 

 "That's it baby, let me make you feel good."Dick says, giving your nipple one last lick before taking care of the other. "I wanna make you feel so good, sweetheart."

 The husky quality of his voice makes you shiver. Your fingers travel down his back, fingernails lightly scraping against his skin. He trembles against your as you slide your hand down his chest and down his pants. Your fingertips brush against the head of his member. You wrap your hand around his cock, teasing his head with your thumb. Your thumb is wet with his precum as Dick pants softly into your skin. Dick can't help but move against your hand.

 "Sweetheart," he grunts, " I can't... I-"

 Dick grasps your wrist, pressing a kiss to it before pulling it over your head. You whine. Dick's breaths tickle your ear as he tries to steady them. He kisses your cheek and nibbles on your ear. Dick grabs your other arm and pins it down next to the other, pinning both hands with one hand.  You squirm underneath him, trying to break his hold.

 "Let me take care of you." He says, trying to level his voice but you're making it so hard. 

 You drag your leg up his calf. Dick brushes his lips down your neck, sucking a hickey into every available surface of your skin on the way down your hips and murmuring ‘I love you’ as he does.  

 "Dick, please." You moan.

 "Sweetheart," Dick says, biting the soft flesh of your hip.

 You wriggle in his grip causing the hand wound around them to tighten. Dick watches you intently as he bites another hickey into the flesh or your hip. You gasp out his name and Dick can feel his cock twitch. He needs more. 

 “Shhhh, I know, Honey. Shhhhhh.” Dick says, kissing along the hem of your pants before his teeth catch on the fabric. Dick tugs the button free and pulls the zipper down with his teeth. You think your heart stops.  Every little thing he does drives you up the wall.  He hooks his fingers to the top of your pants and pulls them down slowly. You can feel the fabric drag against your skin as Dick presses I love yous up your leg. 

 Dick bites lightly at your ankle as he tosses your pants over his shoulder. Dick licks his lips, they’re plush and glossy from the saliva. He’s looking at you with so much love and adoration that you feel yourself melt. You’re suddenly painfully aware of your nakedness. You snap your legs shut shyly, withdrawing your ankle from his hold.  You curl in on yourself, muttering an apology.

 He shakes his head, chuckling softly. Dick pushes the hair out of your face. He presses his forehead against yours, kissing you softly and running his hands up and down your sides. Your legs slowly open to let his body closer to yours. You just want to feel his skin against yours. 

 "I love how your body reacts to me, honey." Dick winks. 

 You wrap your arms around him, your muscles relaxing a fraction. He can feel the ring on your finger dig into the back of his neck. You are his and he is yours. Dick trills at the thought. You laugh, the vibrations from his lips tickling you. 

 "I love you. You know that, don't you?" Dick asks, nibbling your lip.

 "The whole world knows," you snort, "especially after that fiasco at the town square."

 "I had to protect my wifey's honor." He says with a cheeky smile that takes over his face.

 "Somehow, I feel like knocking his teeth in was a bit much." You say, pulling him into another kiss because... well, your husband is awfully adorable even if he is a disaster.

 "Only seems fair," he says, his hand travelling down your body, kissing your clavicle, "he was being rude to my wife." Dick's fingers dip between your soaking folds. You were dripping just for him. Dick would be lying if he said that didn't inflate his ego. With his fingers curled inside you as he drags them in and out, you arch into him. You thread your finger through his hair and pull. 

 "Dickie, I want you," you whisper, rubbing your knee against his crotch. "I want you so much."

 Dick ruts against your leg, breath ragged and desperate. Dick's body is so sensitive to your touch; it's ridiculous.

 "I want you too." He manages barely above a whisper. 

 "Then fuck me, " you look away from his, biting your lip, "please?"

 "Honey," he groans. God, why did you have to say it like that? "You're going to make me cum." 

 "Isn't that the point?" You ask, your nails dragging on his back as you try and fuck yourself on his fingers. 

 What did Dick do to deserve you?

 "It is," he says, taking his hand out of your folds. "But not before I can make you cum first." He licks his fingers in front of you never breaking eye contact as he does. 

 You cover your face and squeak because damn it Dick you can't just- Who does that?!

 Dick hastily shimmies out of his pants, his cock springing free. You hear a pap as his cock slap against the toned muscles of his stomach. You squeak, peaking through your fingers, the slap ringing sinfully in your mind. Dick lets out an amused breath as he hovers over you. Stroking his length, he smears the precum along your inner thigh, whispering how much you turn him on and how he can't get enough of you. 

 "Sweetheart, I want you to look at me while I fuck you." He grunts and the air in your lungs evaporate. You think you'll follow suit in a few seconds. "Sweetheart, don't make me beg you."He says into your neck.

 Dick, you're not helping, you think to yourself but the saccharine way he always says your pet names has you giving into the request. Dick is smiling down at you and your heart melts. He kisses you deeply. You wrap your limbs around him, your heels digging into the small of his back and your fingers tangled in his locks as he slowly enters you. 

 He moans into your lips and you moan into his. There's a burning stretch inside you that has you begging for more. He bottoms out and your walls flutter around his cock trying to accommodate his girth.  A shiver travels up his spine feeling your velvet walls trying to milk his cock. Dick pulls away from the kiss to whisper: "I love you." 

 "I love you too, hubby. Please move."

 "Aye aye, wifey." He says slowly, pulling his length out. You can feel the long drag of his cock against your walls. You mewl for a lack of anything intelligent to say.

 The sound is enough to egg him on. He pushes in and out of you in long strokes, enjoying how your body rocks against his chasing your own pleasure. You pepper kisses to his chest and leave your own marks. Dick would be embarrassed by the lewd noises he makes as you do so but he's too caught up in you to really care. He doesn't even care if the whole world can hear him right now, all he cares about is that you're his and that you're loving this as much as he is. 

 "Baby, you feel so good. Your pussy was made for me. Ah!" Dick says, his hips stuttering when he feels you clench at those words. He kisses your shoulder. He loves the way his name falls from your lips as if it's the only thing you know how to say. "That's it baby. You're so pretty moaning and gasping and begging for my cock."

 All Dick can focus on is the sound of your skin slapping against his. You kiss up his neck, nibbling at his Adam's apple as he swallows. "Dickie, I want more."

  Dick's mind comes crashing to a halt. 

 "Dick, please. I want to feel you more. Please, go faster." You say, voice husky with want. It makes Dick feel like his body has turned to gelatin. 

 He kisses your forehead, a blush spreading across his skin. "Sweetheart, I can't."

 "Please Dick." You breathe, pouting at him. 

 Fuck, you can't look this cute while begging him to fuck you... twice. That's just not fair. 

 "Sweetheart, if I go any faster, I'm going to cum." The embarrassment is hard to hide.

 You drag your nails across his back and lick a stripe up his neck." Dick, I want you to fill me up. Dick, please, I'm so close." You beg, teeth catching on his collarbone, looking at him with watery eyes. 

 Dick is a sucker and he can never say no to a pretty face. He kisses one of your eyelids before slamming his hips into yours. His balls slap against your skin as he thrusts in and out with wild abandon. He thrusts deeper at an angle that was sure to hit your g spot every time. 

 You sing his name sweetly as you pull him closer. Your nipples rub against his chest as you bounce on his cock. Your walls constrict around him making it harder to pull out every time. All he wants to do is to stay inside you and revel in your warmth but he wants to bring you over the edge and fuck you stupid. He rolls your clit between his fingers as you whimper into his neck. 

 You both cum crying each other's name. Dick kisses you as he fucks you through your orgasm, painting your walls with his hot seed. 

 Dick rests his weight on top of you as he pulls out with some of his seed painting your inner thigh. "I love you." He pants. 

 "I love you too, you heavy lug." You grouse, trying to push him off of you.

 Dick has mercy on you and rolls you two over with you resting on top of him, perfect for cuddling you.

 Dick whispers "I love you" and other praises every time he opens his mouth and you return the sentiment by kissing a different part of his face.

 After a few moments of basking in the afterglow, Dick flushes seeing just how many hickeys he's left you and he flushes even harder seeing his own chest marked up. 

 "Sorry about that," He says kissing one of the marks. "I just can't help myself-" Kiss "-You look so pretty covered in love bites-" Kiss "-Sweetheart, you gotta stop sounding cute. I'll get hard again- Fuck." 

 Your hand wraps around his shaft, fingers brushing against his skin experimentally. "But I want you." You say bluntly. 

 Dick is going to combust. "I want you to. I've wanted you like this for so long."

 You stop. Your thumb brushes against the tip of his already leaking cock.  Your lips curl into a smile. "Is that why you were so adamant on getting married?" You snicker, booping his nose with yours. 

 "No, yes, maybe... partially." He stammers out. 

 You snort. "You know that wasn't necessary for us to..." The flush creeps back on your lips. You somehow have the audacity to look shy while still stroking his shaft. Dick is going to burst. 

 "I didn't want you to miss out on it," Dick says steadying his breath, feeling himself get harder as he talks or attempts to, "I wanted you to experience it since you told me you dreamt about it as a kid."

 You stop and Dick bucks to urge you to keep going.

 "You remembered that?" You ask, the expression on your face is complicated. 

 Dick sits up, brushing a finger against your cheek. "Of course, I did."

 "Dork." You sniffle, kissing his cheek. 

 "Only for you," He laughs but it's cut off by the movement of your hand. "Sweetheart, are you trying to kill me?" He gasps, biting into his knuckle. 

 "I'm only thanking you for being so sweet." You tease, spreading your mixed juices all over his cock. "and I just love my hubby that's all."

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