#diagnosised ADHD

[proteincreature]

You know when everything was going well, your like 99% recovered and have your mental illnesses under control. You even know what you'll do in the future and you're excited, ready to start working towards it. Then you just kinda crash very suddenly and violently, the urges come back and intensely.

You realise the signs were there, your mood tracker rating your stability lower, you find your logging more erratic emotions than previously, but you managed to over look these things.

Now you turn to Tumblr because even Reddit finds you too much at the moment. Nothing went wrong, the peace was broken anyway. It's a matter of seeing how long you survive.

[namesnamesandmorenames]

Look I'm not going to say getting a 153 on the RAADS R didn't make me think I had autism but the fact that I have multiple spreadsheets/databases that I updated for my special interest and refer back to multiple times a day should have been a major clue.

My most extensive ones are for my yearly reading goals (which I was super ahead in before my focus shifted like ahead enough that even though I haven't read a book in 3 months I'm still 10 books ahead of my goal) and fanfiction but specifically 9-1-1 fanfiction of which I've read 17 million words of in the last 3ish months alone and am apparently keeping up to date with 38 WIPs which I have literally never done so I think my database is working.

[lambcute]

lamby having so many things wrong with hyr but so little confirmation on any of it is so hard because what if shy is wrong and shy really is just lazy and manipulative

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

well SOMEONE has to headcanon all these characters as adhd

[water-pokemon-appreciator]

So when was your ADHD diagnosis?

wh.

[crowavius]

generally speaking knowing when to speak is a social cue that autistic people tend to miss, but there can be other reasons for not knowing when to speak if you’re not autistic

ah alright, that makes sense. thanks mate :D

[alpaca-clouds]

Schrödinger's Disability

"Stop using your autism/adhd as an excuse!" I cannot tell you how often I got to hear that. Because here is the thing: Most people do not perceive either of those two diagnosises as "real". Even if they know they are real. Even medical professionals do not quite... understand it. Even those working with neurodivergent people.

Of course, if someone is the kinda autistic person who has also some sort of mental impairment, people perceive it as a disability - but if it does not come along with that kinda stuff, a lot of people treat it, as if we make an active choice to do or not to do something.

I told this story yesterday: When I was a kid, the following thing would always happen. When we would have art class, some of my pencils would drop from the table. Most likely because of dyspraxia. Now, when that happened I was simply not able to stop what I was doing. Because my brain cannot handle "stopping one thing to do another thing even for just a moment" very well. And it could handle it even worse when I was a kid. But also, I do not have object permanence. So, if an object does not exist within my field of vision, I just... forget about it. So, I often would just forget to pick the pencil back up. And teachers would be: "Oh, this boy is too lazy to pick up his own things." Which was not at all what was happening.

Another thing that happened to me too often is a very typical autism thing: Someone tells me something. But they do not tell me this in plain words, but rather imply it. So... I very much just not understood it. So, for example, I got told on a Discord Server by one user: "I have muted this channel." Which I understood as: "They muted this channel (maybe because it is very active)". What they said was, though: "I do not wanna see this channel, stop tagging me in this."

And mind you, this happens at work and university, too. A good example is the good old question of: "When are you done with this?" Which I usually understand as: "When are you done with this?" But what they mean to say is: "Hurry up, I need this now."

Last semester I had this happen at university even. Basically I misunderstood the final assignment, because it was not spelled out. Thankfully the professor was less of an asshole about it, than most people. I explained it to him, he understood, still got a good grade. But that tends to be more the exception than the rule.

As I said, this is a thing that even medical professionals do not really get. Even therapists do again and again fail to just communicate with autistic people clearly. They do not think about us usually being unable to understand implied meanings. We only understand the literal meaning for a lot of stuff.

And again: This is especially harsh with people like me, who superficially seem to function well in society. Heck, I have been told by professionals that I could not have ADHD or autism, because I archived a master's degree at university. Because they cannot comprehend that both ADHD and autism are a spectrum. It is not something you "either have, or have not" but it is a wide spectrum of symptoms that are differently strong in different people.

In Germany this also shows harshly when it comes to disability benefits. Because autism on its own rarely ever qualifies for disability benefits at all. Mental disabilities that might be linked to autism do. But autism on its own? No. Same goes with ADHD. And this... is kinda silly, right? Because we have studies upon studies that people with autism and ADHD often cannot work fulltime - at least not permanently. And we also know that generally neurodivergent people are more likely to be fired for a plenthora of reasons. So, yeah, we should kinda be treated like disabled, right?

And the worst part? In the parts where you get legally discriminated because of disabilities? Yeah, we still get that. We cannot immigrate into all other contries. Like, I cannot immigrate into New Zealand, for example, even though I would like too, because New Zealand discriminates against people with autism when it comes to immigration.

So... yeah. No, this sucks.

Nobody would tell a blind person overlooking a visual sign: "Stop using your blindness as an excuse". But with autistic people? It is the norm.

[mixterglacia]

By the way, have any of you been diagnosed with things after you start to relate a liiiil too hard to something?

Because I got both my autism and later my asthma diagnosises because of RvB fanfics.

No I'm not joking.

The autism was after I read a small stream of consciousness style Wash character study called Tokenism and You: A Survival Guide.

I've never had someone bottle my mental experience quite like that. I knew I had more than my ADHD and this gave me the motivation to pursue further diagnosis. I had it within one visit to my new therapist. (And I quote "you didn't know that yet?")

Asthma happened after two things. One was me writing a frustration fic called Fighting The Wind that mirrored my experiences. Second was (i believe) a mainewash fic titled Wild Beast in which Wash had it. This one took much longer because I thought it was pure coincidence since I was a rare adult onset case.

Anyways, shout out to the RvB fandom, you're apparently all therapists and doctors in disguise. (I'M JOKING, DON'T MAKE SNAP JUDGEMENTS, PUT IN THE EFFORT TO ELIMINATE ALL REASONABLE DOUBT OR PURSUE DIAGNOSIS LIKE I DID.)

[nthspecialll]

Cracks open an oyster shell to reveal a slimy half baked fetus esque Dutch van def linde inside

Do you think this sick little freak of nature is neurodivergent… or has any other disorders.. npd… bpd… etc… (no pressure to like. Actually diagnose or anything I’m assuming you aren’t a licensed psychologist, more for character analysis. Thank you so much, love your work!)

Oh he definately has something but yes I am not a psychologist and my experience with ND is limited to autism, ADHD, OCD and dyslexia because those are my family heirlooms, thus I would not feel comfortable diagnosing him but what I can do is present what fits and what does not fit about the most common diagnosises that people put on him as well as pointing out things others with more experience with these diagnosises says.

NPD- Narcissism

Dutch believes himself to be superior to others, which is very visible in many different ways, like his tent being the most luxurious to not allowing Molly, his girl to work. Which is also a big part of his entitlement, he expects others to look up to him, he expects people to treat him well, to cater his every need, and he gets angry when people doesn't.

He lives on admiration, which can be why he leans so heavily over to Micah late game when everyone else pulls their attention away from him, causing him to get angry. This time he is also very unable to handle any critisism thrown his way, reacting aggressively to it rather than listening.

One of the most obvious signs that makes people think narcissism is his willingness to exploit other, from the gang memebers to the native americans, using everything to his own advandage. He even says it himself, he is helping the natives because it helps him.

He created that friendship with Eagle Flies beacuse it boosted his confidence and his image, he lived in Micah's friendship because it fed his confidence and his image.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy and he does state in a camp event with Susan and Arthur "did you hear that Arthur? I am meant to consider feelings now!" and he is also quite arrogant, talking down to Arthur when he tries to come up with a plan in chapter 6.

Now, that said, narcissists cannot form meaning bonds which Dutch has done several times, for example with Hosea and with The Count. They are actually known for being terrible animal owners and are known for being able to fake friendships for a short amount of time while using others, not for thirty years.

Narcissits are also prone to bragging, which we do not hear Dutch nor does he belittle other people's achievements, and while he can seem like he doesn't show feelings and empathy, he does. He is genuiently sorry when Arthur gets kidnapped by O'Driscolls, he is sad when Hosea dies, he listens to John when Jack is kidnapped.

I also would not say he is fishing for compliments, which they are known for, there are also requirements for narcisissm which we don't have enough information on, such as fragile ego and requent self-doubt.

Bipolar

Dutch in the beginning of rdr2 is a very regular dude, he has signs but he seems okay, but as time goes on, especially in chapter 4-6 we see him go up into something that can look like mania.

He does not sleep, he can work without rest. He is easily irritated, his self-esteem is through the roog and he is impulsive. He constantly obesses, he leans over to people who feeds his ego, he is paranoid and he has a lot of grandiosity.

In the first couple of chapters it does also seem like we have some episodes. After settling in Horseshoe Dutch says sorry to Hosea about Blackwater, that he made a fool of himself and doesn't know what happened, similarly with after Arthurs kidnapping.

But then we come to chapter 5-6. What does not fit here however is the fact we don't see a crash, mania cannot go on forever and yet through the months of chap 5-6 there is no crash, he does not return to his regular state. We also see the same things in rdr1, again, no crash and it has been years.

"That said, I've yet to see his crash. The mania, which separates bipolar from major depression, can't just go on forever." which was wisely said by a player diagnosed with bipolar.

Borderline personality disorder

Dutch has a very strong fear of being abanonded, he does not like others leaving him, thus he is willing to leave them first, such as leaving John in jail before allowing him to get out and leave him.

He has a lot of paranoia and looses touch with reality, such as the situation in which he is standing, but also randomly yelling out or talking to himself in chapter 6, similarly he is prone to impulsiveness, doing things that aren't exactly thought through which ends people being harmed.

While he doesn't make threats of self-harm, he did die by suicide, though I would say it was more a powerplay than a fear of abandonment.

He is quickly angered, especially in the later chapters and acts out violently throughout the story

Now we have some other "critiria" like wide moodwings and "Quick changes in how you see yourself," I saw a redditor say this: "Although Dutch sees himself as an anarchistic Robin Hood-type hero during RDR2, he's clearly conflicted by RDR1, presenting himself as both a freedom fighter and a savage who can't fight his own violent nature." And while that is true, it does not fit the critira. It is not a quick change going back and forth but rather a steady but stable decline to that. A lot of people forget that it isn't just a change, but a back and forth we need for this diagnosis, and to me it is more that he is, as said, steadily moving, when he has reached one level of "madness" he doesn't go back.

Then we have a few critera I don't think fits, like unstable relationships, he has a lot of longer, fairly stable relationships such as with Hosea and Arthur and John, those were stable for 30 years before falling apart at the end. Again we are missing the movement back and forth.

End Note

As said, I am not a psycologist and if anything is worded wrongly in a way that may seem offensive, I appologice and please let me know.

[friendly-neighborhood-arsonist]

"No self diagnosis!"

Ok! I'm from a middle class family so for me personally affording one isn't a massive issue but for people in poverty it can be! However my parents don't believe I'm autistic because I don't show the stereotypical 8 year old white boy autism. My general practitioner is ableist and doesn't know shit about mental illnesses she diagnosed me with add instead of adhd even though add hasn't been a thing for like 10 years. Both my parents and general practitioner only believe in stereotypical 8yo white boy autism. I don't have access to a psychiatrist or therapist. So who is going to find me a general prac or psychiatrist who isn't ableist and is actually knowledgeable and up to date, transport me to them (I'm a minor, can't drive and with how shit us healthcare is might even have to fly to get a decent doctor) and pay for it? (my parents sure as he'll won't even though they have the money)

My adhd, autism and various other physical and mental conditions prevent me from working 95% of jobs so "just get a job and pay for it yourself" isn't a feasible option. And I literally cannot wait for neurotypicals to deem me worthy to use the language and knowledge of autism via an official dx.

My autism doesn't magically start when I get diagnosed with it. It always has and always will affect me 365, 24/7. Diagnoses are not accessible for many many autistic and neurodivirgent people.

If you have issues with self diangosises why don't you work to make official diagnosises accessible for EVERYONE and then we can talk. Until that day self dx remains an essential tool for neurodivirgent people.

[proteincreature]

TW: mental illness

Spent the early hours of this morning is the icey Irish sea contemplating just drowning, went home just impulsively eat shampoo. The whole time I just wanted to feel anything from the numbness, it didn't work much and even now at half 5 in the afternoon I feel nausea from the shampoo and I have sand all over my body that the executive dysfunction won't let me wash off.

[qweei]

thinking about the time i asked my psychiatrist if i could be checked for adhd bcs i showed signs and she proceeded to get super offended, said that every teenager that comes wants to be tested for adhd bcs of the internet and that i can’t have more diagnosises bcs i already had 3

like damn i didn’t know there was a limit, should i like trade one of my diagnoses out for another one??? DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING SO MANY DIAGNOSISES WHAT??! LITERALLY TELL ME WHAT I WOULD GAIN BY THAT

[tommyssupercoolblog]

It's honestly so funny that a medical professional had to sit us down like

"Okay obviously you're a system and and your pre-existing diagnosises for ADHD and autism still stand, but Tommy? Tommy, you specifically, look at me- Tommy you have some sort of personality disorder. Tommy you as an alter specifically, like separate from everyone else, have some the symptoms and criteria for some sort of personality disorder. You are kind of extra fucked up. Which one? Listen we'd have to test you again just in different personality disorders to know so we'll find out later. For now just continue avoiding having meltdowns and take this special thing on your record that says "this motherfucker has some sort of personality disorder" on it in case you need that for medical reasons or something, but at some point we have to figure out what is going on with you Tommy. You are like. You need extra help dude. Tommy you're like double fucked up. What are you supposed to do about this information if we don't know which one you have yet or how to treat it? Nothing different from what you already do to relieve symptoms actually. But just be aware you're like, OFF off you know"

Like it is genuinely helpful to know why I struggle with the things I do and I'm sure as we learn more this will be great for my mental health but also they really said "oh YIKES get some help and new studies done on THIS FUCKER in particular, Jesus what is THAT THANG??!!!!" While I sat there and blinked at them autisticly with a ":p" ":3" type face an kicking my little leggies around.

Like "We need reinforcements, there's this fucked up little Twink in here and this little guy can fit so much disorder in him; he's physically vibrating from all the disorder stored up inside his tiny catboy body"

Anyways. Sippies my hot chocolate. Guess I'm some kind of symptom holder or something LMAO idk ✌🏻🌈✨ kicks my leggies I guess I'm just so special and the main character that I get an extra little disorder as a treat!! #maincharafterinnit LMAOOOOO

[queencolondarkwing]

AngelicaASMR’s current change

This post only about any info posted as of 7/25/2023 (will update in future if needed).

Ok so I’ve been following the Angelica Asmr shit pretty closely (don’t expect me to comment on gwen gwiz too because that girl is a grifter from the start). And as a mental health worker it REALLY freaks me out for her. I worked in a rehab for awhile. For people quitting drugs, but many of them also had bipolar, ptsd, schizophrenia, and similar diagnosises (some people also had the behavior due to being in crisis as well due to loss, recent homelessness, police brutality, etc.). So I know what psychotic breaks look like. I won’t armchair diagnose anything specific because I am not her medical provider, but while I can’t say she has anything for certain - she has a history of manic episodes in the past.

As someone with ADHD, a history of sexual and religious trauma, and c-ptsd like Angelica, I can honestly see how she fell into this. As someone who is also anti-capitalist, I can see why she thinks finding community would be beneficial (not sure why she would choose the Catholic Church instead of something from less individualistic, Eastern philosophy doesn’t make sense to me personally though...) to finding growth in an online era of isolation following a personal loss in her life. It seems weird how she went from talking about her Jehovahs Witness trauma from her youth...to going full on Orthodox, but I’ll get into details on why mentally this is actually super common in a minute.

I can also see how she would become a SWERF after having done OF, since as a former sex worker myself (camming, porn, fssw) who quit doing it after being raped - I can safely say that I myself am neither pro or anti sex work. I’m pro-decriminalization to keep workers safe, but also do feel a bit sick sometimes that MOST fssw on the streets are marginalized people. It is a complicated issue with nuance that non-sex workers have no business taking a side on. However, she is very hateful recently and anti-sex in general. Which is an issue.

She originally joined OnlyFans during a manic episode. So she HAS a history of mental illness and making major life decisions during mania. 

She went from pro-lgbtq to anti-lgbtq. Deleted her old progressive videos. Claimed to be a victim of MKUltra. Started making up delusions around the Catholic Church being anti-capitalist (Catholics individually can 100% be leftists, but the Church itself is VERY Capitalist). She posted homophobic and transphobic tiktoks where she would yell practically incoherently. Lots of staring. Inability to talk without looking away and laughing (she is normally a skilled actress).  Posting WAY more frequently than ever(she reposted 3 deleted videos last night and deleted them by this morning). She posted a video and lots of shorts and is way more active on Instagram. 

 The worst breakdowns I saw working rehab mostly always cycled through 4 topics: fame/self importance, inconsistent political and religious rambling, and sex. Always. Angelica has shown inconsistent spiritual beliefs (she has been mixing up Catholic, Orthodox, politics, and other religions). She has been focusing on sex in the context of trauma and posted a short of her in a bathtub on youtube again. She has been posting and immediately deleting content that has even positive comments on it.

Some medical signs of possible mania and/or psychosis that she is exhibiting:

Paranoia, trouble talking in a clear way/rambling, withdrawing socially (posting more often/online more but also alienating from her former fans), Confused speech, trailing off/lack of focus in videos, Generally disorganized way of thinking, no sign of restraint in expressing self, racing speech, goal-directed activity (seems to have a new anti-sex work goal), distractable/trails off topic, random giggling at nothing at camera like it is a person she is conversing with...etc. Tbh the amount of red flags I’ve seen are alarming.

I hope she gets support and help. And it is one reason I can’t blame her as hard as I would most, because she seems clearly unwell.  It isn’t an excuse. At all. And I don’t blame people for not supporting her going forward, but I plan to keep an eye on the situation for now and am hoping that somehow she can pull out of this shit, because I’ve seen this shit happen to a LOT of people with hard lives. Hell, I’ve even lashed out in smaller degrees and been delusional during my own ptsd breakdowns too, but when people are as far gone as Angelica is...I don’t usually see them come back again to the same state they were in previously. I’m hoping for the best, as a former fan and as a social worker, but Idk.

[rockypringlez]

Name: Apollo Aurelius Israel Sebastian

Intra Age: 8

Pronouns: he/him/they/it

Transids: Transraped/transrapevictim Transeverity

Xenogenders: theyre coming for me

Sexual identities: Hypersexual and Bisexual

Diagnosises: Bpd Adhd Anxiety and Depression

Paraphilia: Necrophilia, abuse, blood, rape, guns and wax

im fucking amazing

and im also a whore :3

flash me a titty bitch <3

[lex-the-mockingbird]

Hey everyone♡!!

My health is still pretty rocky, and I've been in and out of hospital quite a bit over the summer. I've received some new diagnosises of asthma, Fibromyalgia, C-PTSD, and Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (HEDS) to join my diagnoses of Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), seizure disorder, and ADHD and I have an upcoming emergency Rumoetology appointment because my extensive blood work after seeing this doctor showed signs of autoimmune disease. I've started getting 2X weekly IV infusions at the hospital to help with my cardiac problems, and I'm on seven new medications to help with my chronic pain and other health issues.

I'm still fighting to afford my health care, paying for public transportation to my daily appointments, needing medical equipment my insurance won't cover, like a new wheelchair, which I'm still fighting for.

I appreciate all of you so so much, and your contributions have gone towards my medications, and some bracing and light medical aids to help me! All of this has been pretty rough, and it feels like I'm getting worse instead of better a lot of the time. But I'm making it through, and I appreciate everyone in my life who's helped me in so many ways to get through all of this♡

Any continued donations or shares to this cause will be endlessly cherished. While Im in the process of saving for my new wheelchair, and I've been waitlisted on a service dog, I have a lot of other medical needs that I can't afford on my own🧡

And even if you can't donate, it's equally contributory to share the page, send a message, or even just send good thoughts♡♡