#devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product

[hawkinsincorrect]

Jonathan, to Steve and Nancy: You devious clumps of overpriced fabric and hair product!

[totallycorrectrecessquotes]

Spinelli, to the Ashleys: You devious clumps of overpriced fabric and hair product!

[catty-words]

happy birthday, bethany °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

[notstilinski]

Community Starters !

Taken from season one of the sitcom, Community! Some of these have already been edited to fit more open scenarios! You can edit them however you see fit.

“I’m sorry I called you Michael Douglas, and I see your value now.”

“The funny thing about being smart is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work. So, I’m not really sure how to do that.”

“Will you guys have some self-respect? You are obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought.”

“This is my definition of you trying way too hard and me finding it harder and harder to stay polite.”

“And how about I pound you like a boy? That didn’t come out right.”

“Firstly, I would lose the jacket. You look like a high school bitch.”

“You owe me. That cannot be comfortable for you.”

“Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?”

“(Name), we’re not pandas in the zoo.”

“I would say anything to get what I want, and I want you to like me.”

“So, either I’m God or truth is relative. In either case, boo-yah.”

“You know, you have the savoir-faire of a hyena.”

“If you’re going to argue with me, at least put on a bathing suit.”

“Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?”

“I’m not having a conversation with someone who emerges from a bush.”

“Did you ever see that Katherine Heigel movie poster where Gerard Butler had that heart over his wiener? That resonated with me.”

“I have a confession to make. I think some of what I just said may have more to do with my situation.”

“You’re welcome! And I hate you. And I want to have your children.”

“Don’t you ever want anything more out of life than cereal?”

“Listen, jerkwad! I’m sorry that got really heated.”

“It’s called a stress headache. I had my first one when I was four.”

“You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product.”

“Go, (name), go! Before people sex one another!”

“As an agnostic, I’m going to bring my winning smile.”

“I am a man that can never die.”

“I just dragged a screaming, crying man out of the library with his pants down.”

“You know, when I was in my thirties, people used to wish that I was dead to my face. That’s called respect.”

“(Name) acts as the sort of dad of the group so, emotionally, this is kind of like being told that you’re our new mom.”

“Crash course in manipulation. You don’t actually tell the person what you want them to do. You help them realize that they want to do it, so it can’t be traced back to you.”

“So much subtext, so much intrigue. So much of what the kids are calling BCI. That’s, uh, Booty Call Implication.” 

“Shut up, (Name). I talked to your family on family day, I know all about your gambling problem.”

“So you’re familiar with two sins? How about a third?”

“Disappointing you is like choking the Little Mermaid with a bike chain.”

“If you have friends, you have a family.”

”Congratulations. You’ve failed a class so easy that people in the hallway get contact credit.”

“I can’t fully explain my behavior. I’d love to blame booze or demon possession-“

“How do you spell testicles?”

“If God was edible, he’d taste like chicken fingers.”

“Should we make special jackets for our crime family?”

“The wounded soldier fantasy means were moments from doing it, you know?”

“I know the family downstairs hates me. I don’t need to know why.”

“I haven’t said a word in this conversation which I find outrageous.”

“Oh, shoot. I forgot that saying that summons him.”

“How about I point out to you that we’ve never actually been friends, then laugh at your very well-deserved misfortune?”

“Do you try to evolve, or do you try to know what you are?”

[stringergames]

Magpie, to Jem: You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product.

[incorrectservamp]

You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Misono, angry at Lily

[incorrect-codegeass]

You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Kallen Kozuki, to Schneizel, probably

[incorrectevillious]

You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Kyle Marlon to his mother, probably.

[thecommunityzone]

reunion tour

Barry: Lucretia, you devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product! Magnus: Speaking as one of the meek, soon as I inherit the Earth, you’re dead. Taako: You got a weird forehead. Angus: We're all very disappointed. Merle: All right, dial it back a little, Angus.

[screenviolense]

@gwanzhu​ sent: “You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product.” amita 

          ‘ what? are you reading your comments on your tweeter? ‘ why a grown man, a king no less, needed to bother with so much nonsense on his phone, amita didn’t truly know. still, it was hard to feel like she was a captive audience, emphasis on captive.

[catty-words]

top 15 jeff/annie scenes (as voted by my followers):

13. ‘platonic’ shoulder holding [basic intergluteal numismatics]

[incorrectrhquotes]

Dias, you devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Eruca

[smoljamesmadison]

Hamilton: [to Jefferson] You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

[incorrectbungoustraydogs]

You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Steinbeck, to Fitzgerald

[mysticmessengerofficial]

"You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!”

- zen to jumin at some point

[incorrectdwpquotes]

You devious clump of overpriced fabric and hair product!

Andy to Miranda