#developed a reading list for my ''reading books from every country'' project
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waterloggedtomorrow · 11 months ago
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It is Staggering how quickly I have gone from always being mildly paralyzed by fatigue + overwhelm to always being mildly paralyzed from listlessness + lack of sun.
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samwisethewitch · 8 months ago
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Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group
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It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.
Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.
In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.
Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:
Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)
Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)
How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)
Gardening
Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)
Country/Rural Living:
Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)
"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)
Sewing/Mending:
Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)
Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)
Sustainability/Land Stewardship
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)
Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)
Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"
Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.
"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)
Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)
These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!
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bunnliix · 9 months ago
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Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter One
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First chapter woot woot! This is by far, the longest chapter I've ever written, at over 7k words, and honestly, I hope this is good? It's my first time writing a/b/o, and I'm a little unsure of where this is going exactly, but I hope everyone will have fun on the rollercoaster that this fic is bound to be!
masterlist
word count: 7k
warnings: defintely some angst in here, but lighter angst?, reader is anxious at parts, but like for the most part, there's really not much to warn about I think? Please let me know if I'm wrong or if I need to add anything!
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Y/n wasn’t expecting any emails, but when she heard the ding that let her know she had received one, she immediately looked. She never knew when she’d get another freelance job, so whenever an email came in, she developed the habit of checking it. This wasn’t a work email, no, but it was from one of the stores she had recently bought a couple of Stray Kids albums from. From the subject line, it was about the albums she had bought, and a fansign? She doesn’t remember signing up for one, but she also has been so busy, she probably forgot about it.
Opening up the email, she found that she had won a place at an in person fansign in Seoul, in two days. She was so shocked by this news that she held her breath, not thinking this was real for a moment. She read through the email fully, memorizing every word, she really had won, holy shit. She thanked the gods that she didn’t work a physical job, because it meant she could work from anywhere, and she started figuring out her trip to Seoul. There was no way she was missing out on a chance to meet Stray Kids.
She quickly found a plane ticket, even if it was insanely expensive, and she thanked herself for her savings, having to dip into that a bit for this trip. She then moved on to finding a place to stay, and found a nice hotel that wasn’t outrageously expensive, and immediately booked it. She’d be flying out in about seven hours, leaving her to scramble to pack and leave for the airport. Quickly packing her luggage, having a packing list made up from previous trips, she packed clothes for a week, deciding to explore a bit since she was going there. 
Y/n’s travelled enough to have mastered the skill of packing efficiently, gathering everything she needed into 3 pieces of luggage. She double-checked her travel list, making sure she had packed enough for her trip. Before she shoved her laptop and cords into her bag, she sent out an email to her current clients stating that she had an emergency occur, and that her work may be delayed by a day. At this point, it was almost time for her to head to the airport. So, she finished packing the last of her things into her carry-on. Remembering to grab her coat before putting her shoes on, she grabbed her bags and left the apartment. 
She took a taxi to the airport, and on the way there, texted her best friend Emily that she was heading out of the country and asking her to watch over her apartment while she was gone. Emily agreed right away, and told her not to worry about anything. She smiled down at her phone, her bestie was her ride or die, and she was so grateful to have her in her life. 
When she arrived at the airport, she thanked the driver, pulling her luggage out of the trunk and heading straight to the check in counter. The process was smooth and she was quickly on her way to security, which while terribly busy, went by quickly and soon she was sitting at her gate, having grabbed a couple snacks for the plane and filled up her water bottle on the way over there. She had about an hour before boarding, so she pulled out her laptop, deciding to get some work done while she waited. She finished off the last edits to one project, sending that off to one of her clients, before starting on one of her other projects.
Halfway through her second project, the call for boarding went out over the P.A. system, and so she saved her work, slipping her laptop back into her bag before lining up with everyone else. She was lucky enough to get a last minute window seat on the plane, putting her carry-on in the overhead bin, before settling in her seat as she pushed her smaller bag under the seat in front of her. She looked out the window as the plane took off, the start of her journey to Seoul, and meeting Stray Kids, was starting now. Since it was a relatively long flight, she pulled out her laptop once she was able to do so, starting back on the project she worked on earlier. She spent the majority of the flight working on her current workload, which was about four projects at the moment. 
They were all fairly simple projects, they just took time to perfect them, but it was a great way to pass the time. By the time she finished her last project, there was only a couple hours left of the flight, and so she rested and watched the clouds roll by. Y/n admired the view as they landed in Seoul, excited to explore the city. 
Patiently waiting to disembark the plane, she waited until she was able to leave her row, grabbing her bag from the overhead bin and then bringing it down, pulling it behind her as she left the plane. She pulled it along, heading towards the luggage carousel, before she went through customs and immigration, quickly clearing them and heading out into Seoul. She took the metro to head towards her hotel, unpacking her headphones and listening to music to pass the time on the train. Once off the train, she pulled out her phone to find her hotel location, quickly finding her way to the hotel. Thankfully, it was late enough that she could check in right away and head to her room. She took the elevator up, finding her room midway down the hallway, and upon opening the door, found that she had a beautiful view of the city around her. 
She dropped her luggage by the bed, and walked towards the window, admiring her view of the city. She may not be a heights kind of person, but this was still beautiful, and she would be looking out a lot during her week here. She hauled her suitcase up onto the bed, pulling out a fresh outfit, before heading to the bathroom to shower. Once she had, she changed into her fresh outfit, pleased to get the smell of the airplane and airports off of her. Since it was still light out for a while, she decided to get out into the city and explore the neighborhood around her. She packed her smaller bag with the necessities, grabbing her key card on the way out the door and quickly going back down to the lobby and out into the fresh air. 
Y/n knew travelling alone as an omega always brought risks with it, but it was worth it to be here in Seoul, both for the fansign and just in general. It was sunny and warm in Seoul, a great contrast from back home, and she was living for it. She was always a warm weather kinda girl, and the warm air and sunshine here made her thrive. She decided on just walking the area around her, figuring tomorrow would be one of her bigger exploration days. 
She saw a lot of stores that intrigued her, but thought better of shopping, she’d be exhausted much quicker if she gave into that urge. She was glad that she brought her headphones, it helped distract from the loud noises of the city, and brought the level down to a reasonable one she could deal with. The hustle and bustle of the city was normal to her, since her own city was similar, 
Up until now, her omega had been strangely quiet. Usually she was very outspoken, more so than y/n herself was. Her omega was going haywire at the moment, confusing the poor girl as to what set the omega off. She felt almost pulled forward, and her omega pushed to the surface, making her walk faster to wherever that pull was coming from. It culminated in her running into someone, and ended with her on the ground in front of them, looking up at their mask-covered face. 
“Are you alright? I’m sorry that I bumped into you.” The person said as they leaned down, reaching out a hand to her. She tentatively took it, and she stood up with their help. Standing so close to them, she could smell their citrusy sweet scent, it calling to and calming her omega. That confused her slightly, but she shook it off, not wanting to think about it now. 
“I’m okay, and really, I bumped into you. I should be the one apologizing.” She replied.
“Let’s just say we bumped into each other then? We both played a part in this.” They told her, and she could see that they were smiling by the crinkles near their eyes. 
“I can agree to that.” Y/n replied, giggling slightly. 
She saw as the other person took a breath of her scent, and for some reason they stumbled back away from her, their eyes widening. 
“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.” They said, rushing away from her, leaving her standing there alone on the sidewalk.
She watched him run away, and her omega cried out, and y/n felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Her anxiety shot up, and tears came to her eyes. She’s so confused, she doesn’t completely understand what’s just happened, and why she was so affected by it.
She felt increasingly down as she walked back to her hotel, no longer feeling any urge to explore, just wanting to retreat back into her room and nest. She speed-walked into the hotel elevator, avoiding everyone. Once back in her room, she locked her door and got to work making a nest in the bed, using everything she could. She finished it and then climbed inside, curling up into herself as her omega cried out to someone, for an unknown reason. That, and she couldn’t take her mind off of the person who ran away from her, and everytime she thought of him, it made her chest hurt. 
In the end, she fell asleep, and she dreamed of them again. She had dreams every so often about Stray Kids, and she assumed this was once again, her brain being delusional. She dreamed about going on vacation with them, assumedly in Australia given her surroundings, but she felt that this dream was different. 
She noticed that this time, the member’s touch and reactions felt more real? It felt like these were actually the boys, and not figments of her imagination like they usually did. Their eyes seemed shocked, even as they all enjoyed the dream. They were more touchy with her, Felix especially. She noticed that he looked similar to the person she ran into earlier, but shook it off as her just being delusional again. She enjoyed her dream and found happiness with the boys, as it was just a dream, that’s all.
Waking up the next morning in her makeshift nest, she whined at the lack of someone beside her, having fallen asleep in her dream next to the boys. Her scent smelled like burnt honey and vanilla because of her sadness, but she pushed through, thinking of happy thoughts and how she’d get to see the boys later today. She got up, having to get out of her nest that smelt like sadness. Pulling out an outfit for the fanmeet, she quickly showered before changing, and then moved onto her makeup and hair. She did her makeup like she usually did, leaning more towards a very natural look, knowing if she wore too much, it would be harder to touch up later on.
Before leaving her room, she checked the rules for attending the fansign, and quickly memorized them. She headed back to the bathroom, since one of the rules was wearing scent blockers, and quickly applied them to her scent glands, making sure she covered them fully. The rule had been put into place because of an incident with a second gen girl group fansign years ago, she remembered the aftermath of it very well, despite being young at the time. One of the fans, an alpha, attended the fansign and tried to overwhelm one of the omega members of the group with her scent, and since then, companies have made it mandatory that scent blockers be worn during fansigns. 
Checking her outfit in the mirror once again, she made sure it looked right, fixing anything that was out of place. She had decided on an outfit that reminded her of a mix of Felix and Han’s individual styles, but had blended them together in her outfit. Plus, it was really comfy, and knowing she had a long day in front of her, she didn’t want to be stuck in something uncomfortable. She grabbed her bag, setting out for the day. She planned to explore and see some tourist sights first, before the fansign, since it wasn’t starting for a couple hours from then. 
She mostly wandered as she wanted, not having a specific destination in mind. She found herself wandering a market and buying some snacks along the way. Everything she bought tasted better than the prior snacks, and she had to leave the market in a hurry lest she get distracted. To her benefit, however, this passed enough time that she almost had to run to make it to the fansign venue.
She made it there in under 20 minutes, and hopped in line with everyone else, having brought her ID, and had the email that she won as well. Checking in was a simple process for the most part, however the ID checking part was the most tedious. Once that was finished and they confirmed that she was who she said she was and that she was allowed entry, she was quickly shuffled into the hall where the fansign took place. 
Y/n found herself about midway between the front and back of the hall, and almost straight in the middle of her row. She greeted the girls next to her, making small talk with them as much as she was able to with her limited knowledge of Korean. They mostly talked about their favorite members and songs, and whose outfits they liked the most in this recent comeback. Y/n enjoyed chatting with the other girls, and a couple more of the ones around them joined in as well, and just before the boys walked out, they had created a small group chat, adding each other on kakaotalk. 
The minute the boys walked out on the stage, all eyes were on them, and the cheers were almost deafening. Despite it only being a small fraction of the number of people at a concert, it was as loud as a concert. Yet it only took Bang Chan raising his hand for the crowd of fans to fall silent. 
“Hello everyone!” He said, waving to the room. He and the boys quickly introduced themselves and did their “Step out” intro as they always do. They took the first part of the fanmeet to goof around on stage, playing around with some of the items laid out for them by staff. 
During this, y/n couldn’t keep her eyes off of them, feeling almost a pulling sensation in her chest, and a need to keep an eye on the boys. She ignored the pulling feeling, trying to enjoy the fansign and commit this all to memory. She soaked in the atmosphere, the joy that radiated around the room, from the fans and the idols. It filled her with happiness, the feeling almost bursting out of her chest. 
It wasn’t long before they boys had moved onto the signing part of the fansign. She watched as each row of fans lined up to meet the idol group, going down the line one by one, and the smiles on the boys’ faces made her smile too. It made her happy to see them happy, and she knew the girls around her felt the same way. Her hand was tapped as a girl in the row ahead of her asked her to record her interactions with the boys, and she readily agreed. Once that girl was up on stage, she zoomed in and recorded her interaction with the eight idols. In return, once it was her turn to line up with her album to meet the boys, the other girl offered to record her going down the line and talking with the boys, to which she quickly thanked her for offering and y/n handed her her phone. She lined up on the side of the stage, nervousness growing as there were only a few girls still in between her and Changbin, the first of the eight boys she’d meet today. 
Soon, she sat in the chair in front of the rapper, smiling at him as she said hello, shaking slightly due to her nerves.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” She told him, smile as bright as the sun.
“Ahh, nice to meet you too!” He said, taking her album as she handed it to him, opening to one of his pages. “Where are you from?” He asked, noticing her nerves and the slight shake to her body, determined to get her less nervous.
“I’m from Canada. I flew here and arrived yesterday afternoon.” Y/n told him.
“Oh wow! Really? That’s so far away!” He was surprised she flew that far for their fansign, he even applauded her for it, to which she shied away, hiding her face.
“No, no hiding!” He teased her, and she slowly pulled her hands away, looking at him with red cheeks.
“Is it cold back in Canada?” Changbin asked.
“It’s not too bad, I guess? But I prefer it here where it’s warm and sunny.” She told him, replying to his question.
“Ohhh, you like warm.” He said, English skills finally breaking down a bit.
“I love the warmth. I’m always too cold, see?” She said to him, showing her hands which were slightly pink at the tips. 
He grabbed her hands gently, rubbing them to try and warm them up. He knew it was chilly in there, but not to where one of their fans was becoming very cold. He was so concerned for her, almost abnormally so, but he chalked it up to just caring for their stays.
“Oh no, you’re so cold! It’s too cold here.” He said after rubbing her hands for a couple moments.
“Oh no, it’s okay, Changbin-oppa. My fingers and toes are always like this, no matter how warm it is. Just my body being bad, that’s all.” She corrected him gently, wanting to ensure he knew it wasn’t the room, it was just her. 
And sadly, that is where her time with the rapper ended, with her being moved onto the next man, who was the Hwang Hyunjin, who was waiting for her to move down in front of him, which made her blush intensify. 
“Hello Hyunjin!” She said, voice a little on the higher side.
“Hello, Stay!” He said, smiling at her. “What’s your name?” He asked as he received her album, moving to sign one of his pages that she had marked. 
“My name is y/n! And we’re born in the same year, Hyunjin-ssi.” She informed him, slightly swaying in order to calm herself.
“Oh? We are? That’s amazing! What month?” He further questioned her, a slight surprise showing on his face. 
“I’m a September baby, so I’m younger than you by a couple months.” She said, watching him sign her album.
He looked back up at her, his beauty was ethereal, and it took her breath away to see him this close up. He reached out to grab her hands, both of them pulling away slightly and flinching at the zap of electricity. It couldn’t have been more than static electricity, but it felt almost like a connection of sorts. Both of them waved it off, not thinking much of it, but inside, their beta and omega knew what had just happened, and were berating them for ignoring it.
“Your name is really pretty, I forgot to tell you.” He said earnestly, his eyes feeling like they were staring right into her soul, and she could see so many emotions floating around in those captivating eyes. She couldn't keep eye contact with him and looked away, down at her lap to avoid his gaze.
“Thank you, Hyunjin-ssi.” She said, still unable to look him in the eyes.
“Stay doesn’t have to use -ssi, call me Hyunjin, please?” He begged her, leaning down on the table to try and get her attention, to which she looked up at him, giggling at his position.
“What are you doing?” She said between giggles.
“I just wanted-” He started, but was interrupted by staff ushering her to move onto the next member, to Hyunjin’s dismay. He wanted to talk with her all day.
Seungmin was next, and his gentle smile caused her to continue to smile in return, her smile not dimming, but becoming softer.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, much calmer than the others, but you could see that he was just as excited to meet their fans as the other boys were. 
“Hello Seungmin, it’s nice to meet you too.” She said, telling him her name afterwards, so that he had a name to sign the album with. 
They made small talk as he signed, and then continued on afterwards. Y/n told him how far she travelled to be here today, and then expanded on her home as Seungmin asked her more questions about where she was from. She tells him that no matter how long the journey was, she wouldn’t have missed being here, and missing the chance to talk to them, for anything else in the world. 
To this, his face is filled with awe and wonder, always surprised at what lengths their fans go to in order to see them live or to meet them. She then talks about what she loves about him, and how she enjoys seeing his interactions with the other boys, and how his voice is angelic. She just about showers him in compliments, until her time with the vocalracha member is up.
He waves goodbye to her and hands her album onto Jeongin, who’s next in line. He smiled at her as she slid over into the chair in front of the maknae, who, having heard her name from when she told his fellow member, quickly signed her album, before reaching out to grab her hands, squeezing them. This shocked y/n slightly, not expecting how intense the maknae was right then and there. He however, just felt drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, and wanted to be in contact with her. His alpha encouraged his actions, and the man himself didn’t question his alpha, and just continued looking at her with a smile on his face. 
“Hi, Stay!” He said excitedly, to which y/n replied back, asking how he was doing.
“I’m doing better now that I get to talk to you.” He answered her, winking at the end and slightly flirting, to which he got lightly smacked by Minho. 
Y/n wasn't faring well with the intense nature of the supposed “baby bread” youngest member, and it clearly showed on her face, which was turning, in Jeongin’s eyes, a lovely shade of pink, and her eyes were wide as she stared at him.
“You look so cute, Stay.” He complimented her, to which she blushed harder. His grin grew as he watched her blush intensify, and to which his alpha almost purred in contentment. 
He continued teasing her, to which her responses were almost nonsensical, until the staff member became her savior by telling Jeongin that she had to move to the next member. Minho, being impatient, grabbed her hands from his fellow member and pulled her over to the chair in front of his space at the table, grabbing her album afterwards. Jeongin pouted at his hyung’s actions, watching you move over to the next chair. He only stopped overtly watching her when the next Stay sat down in front of him, his attention turning to them.
“Hello Lino!” Y/n said, a smile still stuck on her face.
“Hello Stay.” He said, shaking their hands as he had yet to let go. “Do you have any pets?” He asked, finally but almost reluctantly pulling his hands away so he could sign her album.
“I do! I have a bunny, named Jack.” She told him, telling him how she got him, and about all of her bunny’s little quirks. 
He stopped signing her album just to look up at her and watch her talk. He was oddly drawn to her, and observed her as she talked. Her smile was extraordinary and how he wanted to never see her smile fade away, he felt pulled in by her, and he knew it wasn’t her scent, it couldn’t have been since he could see the scent blockers on her skin. But she almost called out to him, to his alpha. He internally questioned if there was something more to that feeling or if it was only just because she was similar to his omegas, to Jisung and Felix. Her outfit clearly took inspiration from them, and she seemed similar in personality, so maybe that was the culprit behind this pull he was feeling.
He realized that he hadn’t finished signing her album, and hurried to do so as he lightly chatted with her, mostly about their own pets and how troublesome they were at times. Sadly, that came to an end when she was pointed to move onto the next idol, who happened to be Felix. 
The Australian man looked at her, having the silent realization that this was the girl he ran into the day prior, and did his best to push what happened out of his mind, since he hadn’t told anyone what had happened, and from the lack of reaction on her part, she didn’t know that they had met yesterday.
“Hello Felix!” She said, smiling from ear to ear at meeting her almost birthday twin.
“Hello! How are you? Also, your outfit is so cute! I love it!” He replied, a grin on his face.
“I’m well, and I’m very excited to be here!” She told him, her cheeks hurting as she had smiled since meeting Changbin. “Thank you! I tried to combine your and Han’s styles, and I hope I was able to do both your styles justice.” She explained.
“You did! So, how old are you?” He questioned, taking the time to sign her album.
“I’m your age, actually.” She confessed, as he looked up in slight shock.
“Wow, really?” He said. 
“Yup! Actually you and I aren’t too far apart in age, birthday wise. I share a birthday with one of your members.” She replied.
“Wait, that means-” He started, before she interrupted him.
“Yeah, I do have a birthday twin within your group.” She giggled and nodded as she confirmed his thoughts.
“Oh wow! That’s so cool!” He told her.
“Yeah, it’s what made me a Stay actually. Well, and your Miroh era.” She confessed to him, blushing slightly.
They continued chatting, with Felix inquiring more about her life, and how long she’s been into K-pop among other things. Felix’s omega was practically purring at having this pretty girl’s attention only on him, plus that they got to see her again after Felix stupidly ran away yesterday.
Meanwhile, next to Felix, Minho was trying to concentrate on the Stay in front of him, but his mind and eyes kept wandering over to y/n and Felix. He couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation as he tried to keep chatting with the fan in front of him. That pull in his chest still hadn’t disappeared, and he kept questioning what exactly was drawing him to you. His alpha, however, knew exactly what was happening and was very happy about it, Minho could tell that much. His alpha kept talking about how Felix and the girl got along so well, and look how pretty they both were, and ‘Wouldn’t they look pretty together in their nest?’ Minho had to physically force himself to look away from the two of them, and push to only focus on the Stay in front of him.
During this, the two people who were the subject of Minho’s thoughts and glances were saddened when staff told them it was time for y/n to move on. Felix grabbed her hand, pleading with her not to go, to the girl’s laughter and her insistence that she must move on, to Han finally interjecting and reaching out for her hand and pulling her to the next chair. 
“I heard you had a birthday twin in Stray Kids?” He inquired immediately, wanting to know.
“Hello Han. Yes I do.” She giggled at his impatience. “I’m birthday twins with you, actually. Down to the year.” She told him. 
Hell yeah!” He exclaimed as Felix overheard, the Aussie pouting at how close he was to sharing a birthday. 
Y/n saw Felix’s pout, and giggled as she looked over at him. He saw her giggling and playfully glared at her, only making her giggle more, which Han did as well when he saw what was making the girl in front of him giggle. 
Han quickly signed his page in the album, before focusing all his attention on the girl in front of him. He wanted to know more about his birthday twin, and to learn if they had anything else in common. They did have quite a few things in common, their style being one of those things, anxiety was a second, and they also had quite similar personalities. This made the quokka a very happy man, and his omega wanted to steal the Stay away and keep them and Han was agreeable with that notion. A birthday twin to share the fun with? Yes please.
They joked about how maybe this was fate, and maybe this was why she was drawn to the group in the first place, with y/n admitting that their shared birthday is what made her interested in the first place. Han smiled, with a blush on his face at that confession. That she had found the group and gotten interested because of Felix, but was more interested that they both shared a birthday. Plus, she won the chance to be here and meet them, which was even more amazing.
As engrossed as they both were in their conversation, Chan finally leaned over and interrupted them, to inform her that it was their turn to chat. Han grabbed her hand, shaking them as he thanked her for coming and talking with him, and that she’d have to remember to wish him a happy birthday when their birthday came, to which she promised she would. She reluctantly let go of his hands, and moved over to sit in front of Chan, realizing that her time with the boys would end shortly. 
“Hello there, sorry to interrupt your fun with Hannie.” He apologized, looking truly sorry to have stopped their conversation. He truly was sad that he had to do so, they loved their fans, and Jisung looked so happy as he chatted with her, and his alpha almost screamed his content at how happy this girl had made his members. 
“It’s okay, I understand, don’t worry Chan.” She told him, understanding clearly heard in her voice.
He smiled at how understanding she was, starting up a conversation with her about what she was going to do while in Seoul. Inside, his alpha was trying to gain control over him, an overwhelming need coming over him to grab her and scent her, rules be damned. He wasn’t alone in this feeling, as y/n had been feeling a pull this entire time as she went down the line, but it was stronger right in front of the leader of the group, and her omega wanted nothing more than to sink into this man’s arms right here and now. She shook off her omega while he pushed away those feelings, one thinking it was just her being delusional and having read too much fanfic, while the other just chalked it up to his alpha reacting to the fact that it was a pretty girl in front of him right now. 
They continued their chat like neither of them were experiencing anything, and she asked him about places to visit in Australia should she ever get to visit, and he turned it on her and asked about places to visit in Canada when they get the chance to travel there. Both parties enjoyed the conversation, almost feeling as if they were just two friends chatting, instead of idol and fan. They talked about animals as well, both of them gushing about their own animals and telling a couple of funny stories about them.
At last, y/n’s time with the boys was finally over, and it was at this point Chan realized he had never signed her album. Signaling to the staff to let him sign the album quickly before she had to leave, he did so. On a whim, and what he swears was his alpha’s idea, and not fully his, under his signature, he added his number. Quickly closing the book, he handed it to her, and waved to her as she left the stage and returned to her seat, focusing on the next fan to sit in front of him.
Y/n returned to her seat, feeling saddened after leaving the stage and the boys. She shrugged it off, just like she had with the rest of the odd feelings she’s had today and yesterday. After she got back to her seat, one of the girls in the row behind her that she had made friends with, asked her to film her meetings with the boys, and she agreed. After that, the girl in the row in front of her that filmed her interactions handed her phone back, and y/n thanked her for filming as the other girl waved off her thank yous. 
Soon enough, it was the girl behind her turn to chat with the boys, and y/n started filming as she went up on stage. She noticed during her filming, that the boys glanced up in her direction a couple times, or at least her general direction, she doubted their gaze was on her specifically. She dutifully continued filming, trying to get the best video she could for the girl.
Y/n was wrong about the boys not looking right in the crowd for her. They really couldn’t help themselves, looking at her when she didn’t notice, and every time they had the chance. They had never felt so pulled towards someone like this, not since they all found each other. Y/n was feeling the same way, it almost felt like there was a rope between her and the boys, and it was trying to pull her in closer. She once again brushed it off as wishful thinking, and maybe her delusions of wanting the boys to notice her, as every Stay did. Plus, she probably just enjoyed talking to them so much that she wanted to talk with them again. 
Finally, the girl she was filming for left the stage, and y/n ended the recording, handing the phone back to her once the other girl returned to her seat. She watched as the final rows got their chance to see and talk with the boys, and once everyone was back in their seats, the boys came out from behind the tables, and started goofing off again. There was a portion set aside for photos of the boys, and of course they were absolutely adorable during it. And then they decided a couple dance relays of S-Class were in order, and a part switch dance to S-Class as well, which went as well as anyone could expect. A.k.a, it was a bit of a disaster, with the boys not knowing each other's places nearly as well as they knew their own. Though, we did get to see Felix do Minho’s parts, which was amazing and everyone in the room loved it. 
Before anyone knew it, the fansign was coming to an end, with the boys sadly saying goodbye to the fans. Y/n didn’t want it to end, but as they were ushered back out of the room after the boys had left the stage, she reluctantly left. She was in tears leaving the building, and felt a great sadness at leaving, and so did her omega. She wasn’t quite sure why she reacted so heavily, but as she walked back to the hotel, her emotions only grew. Because of this, she sped up her pace, wanting to disappear into her hotel room and cry in private, not wanting others to see her like this. 
Once she was back in her hotel room, she locked the door, immediately taking off her shoes and any accessories, before crawling into her makeshift nest that still smelt of sadness from that morning. She let herself fall apart, crying as she curled into a ball. She wasn’t sure why she was so sad, she really wasn’t sure, but she could feel that her omega was really hurting. She cried herself to sleep, falling into a nightmare, where it was the opposite of her dream from the night before. The boys were the opposite of their sweet selves, and were hurling anything and everything negative about herself at her, and all she could do was sit there and cry as they did so.
Being shocked out of her nightmare, she sat up as she woke up, her chest heaving as she tried to regulate her breathing. She managed to do so after a couple of minutes, and trying to get her mind off of how hurtful her nightmare was, she reached for her phone.
She found the video of her interactions with the boys, and started watching it. As she watched it, she realized just how different her interactions with the boys were from the ones she had filmed for others and watched herself. They seemed much more intimate in a way, with how touchy a lot of the boys were with her. They were so much more emotive and interactive with her, it felt a little abnormal after the fact. She must have been so happy to meet them that none of it felt off to her, and really looking back, it still didn’t feel too odd, just a bit more intimate than the other fans’ interactions. She wondered why she was so different, and why her, over everyone else. 
This pushed her to look through her album, and she stopped at Chan’s signature. Underneath his name, there was a number, along with a short message to text him. This had to be a joke, there was no way she was living the y/n life right now. She felt as if she had stepped into a fanfiction, because why else would Bang fucking Chan have given her, out of all people, his number?
She decided to fuck it and texted the number he gave her, and he almost immediately responds.
‘Who are you?’ He demanded.
‘I’m y/n, you gave me this number in my album that you signed today.’ She replied.
‘What did we talk about today then?’ He asked her.
‘A little bit of everything, honestly, but we did talk about our pets. You talked about Berry, and I talked about my bunny Jack and how troublesome he is.’ Y/n told him. 
She also decided to send him a picture of herself, holding open his page of the album as she sat next to a clock to prove the time. Chan believed her, and told her as such. She then asks him why he decided to give her his number.
‘I watched your actions with the others and myself, and something about you and all of our interactions intrigued me. I felt there was something more to it all, and wanted to get to know you better.’ He explained, to which she was relieved it wasn’t a trick, but was also confused about how she intrigued him. She voiced those thoughts and to which he reassured her that he wasn’t tricking her, nor should she be confused about how she was interesting to him, because he honestly found her interesting from the start of their conversation at the fanmeet.
He further explained that the other members had no idea about what he had done, and he hadn’t planned on saying anything to them, unless y/n had reached out and told him it was okay to do so. Though that didn’t stop them from discussing her in the vans on the way back to the dorm, nor did it stop their discussion from spilling over into their group chat. He told her as much, and she was surprised to have made that much of an impression on them. Chan reassured her that their interactions with her were very memorable, from what he could gleam from the others’ conversations. What he didn’t tell her was that Minho had noticed Chan’s behavior, and signaled to the pack alpha that they would be talking after they arrived back at the dorm. 
Soon enough the boys arrived back at the dorm, and the leader had to say goodbye for now to y/n, Minho staring him down as they walked into the building and then the elevator. The other alpha grabbed his hand as soon as the elevator doors opened, and led him through the front door of the apartment, and straight to the Aussie man’s room.
“Who are you texting? And why am I sure it’s that girl from the fansign?” Minho interrogated him, not leaving him a second to talk. 
“You’re not wrong. I gave her my number.” Chan confessed.
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Taglist: open!
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femmefatalevibe · 2 years ago
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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain Motivation & Get Out of A Rut
Spontaneous motivation is possible but rare. However, learning how to jumpstart this valuable energy to gain the initial momentum you need to create consistent habits and routines necessary to help you achieve your goals. Here are some tips and tricks to get out of a rut and jumpstart motivation.
Create specific goals: Use qualifying and quantifying details (e.g. I intend to stay at the Ritz Paris hotel; I will save $50K by the end of this year, etc.; I'm cultivating a Scandinavian aesthetic; I will eat 3 healthy meals daily during the workweek, etc.)
Organize your goals into different areas of life: Try not to have more than 1-2 goals per life arena at a time (career, finances, health, relationships, self-development, etc.)
Write a short list of 3-5 things you can do to get closer to each of your goals: These can be habits or one-time tasks (e.g. take a walk every day, automate "X" amount of my paycheck into my investment accounts, etc.). Consider this bullet-point list as your high-level action plan. It gives you a roadmap that's simple enough to help you get started without overwhelming your mind with details or complexities. Success is born from simple, consistent habits.
Create a vision board for each goal: Envisioning yourself achieving the goal can spark some initial excitement and motivation. Everything gets clearer when you can see the end in sight.
Write out a "pros" and "cons" list for each goal: Consider the benefits of working towards each goal vs. the downsides. A little fear-based motivation can be healthy as a catalyst to gain some inspiration and momentum.
Get mapping & mathing: Create a mockup of your ideal wardrobe, healthy meals you want to eat, design a mockup of your dream project live on a billboard, all of the places you want to visit in a foreign country, every aspect of your dream date night, etc. Do some quick projections on how much you could be saving with your budgeting goals, and entrepreneurial pursuits, or run the numbers regarding health goals you can work towards (whether it's weight or strength related)
Create a weekly self-accountability goal: Choose one task per goal that you want to accomplish each day (or a few times a week) to get you moving in the direction you desire. Keeping promises to yourself is the simplest way to stay on track.
Track your progress: Make a log of your hours spent reading, working out, check off the days you've had a healthy meal, how many pitch emails you've sent out, any additions or removals from your current wardrobe and environment, etc.
Give yourself a rewarding incentive: Be enough of an adult to use your childlike tendencies to your advantage. Create "if-then" compromises with yourself to ensure you stay on track. E.g: If I make a healthy meal at home for dinner during the week then, I can eat it while watching an episode of my favorite show. If I order-in an unhealthy meal, then I cannot watch my favorite show that night. Savage, I know!
Join supportive online communities & spaces: Find communities on Tumblr, TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, Facebook groups, etc. to find people with similar goals and life outlooks. Read books by authors who have achieved your desired goal, and listen to podcasts on your same wavelength. Find digital ways to cultivate a tribe.
Keep a "Winning" Journal: A notebook that you can write in daily, a few times a week, or weekly to share all of your accomplishments. This method allows you to feel like you can brag and show off a bit, so you get the social validation (even if done in private) while still moving in silence and refraining from appearing arrogant.
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cornus27florida · 1 year ago
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Personal Review GwenDerick/FredDolyn Time-Travelling AU - Canon Divergences
I like to compiling everything to help me going forward...
Basically I make CPC fanfic about time-travelling AU (to the past) and thus making it Canon Divergences AU (means it will changes over plot points in the canon source) - my two favorite troupe AUs as it could explore so many possibilities of "what-ifs" in the original source material of the story...
There's an ongoing project by myself that I am not sure when it'll end but I know how the details it goes.. Thanksfully for the addition of my cowriters @ Queen_Allu (same name as in AO3) and @ Jazzyluvs008 (sunflower8) at the middle early part of the journey to not making me feeltoo lonely. The project is hopefully not that (too) ambitious for myself that could strains my own heart and body (espc the eyes) and my own mental and minds (there's some chapters that even on introduction arc already made my heart's bleeding and head's dizzy) - as I am on 1/7 path of the journey there based on ch
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GwenDerick/FredDolyn is make me built such a special place in my heart as hardcore shipper, I really adores their journey of relationship from a complete stranger (which the male scared shirtless over the female with such unorthodox look) to such a trustworthy friend (with the help of the CPC and how the story progress, the male opens up to the female) to likely now as to be a lover (there's definetely romantic note between them, as basically they are already say love to each other - even with such 'tragic' situation as the current story)
So, Troupe "Stranger to Friend to Lover" AU canonically? Hell yeah it is! I feel this another reason why GwenDerick is so special in my book of shipper - because it's so natural and could happen to anyone, so relatable in real life. Gwendolyn is not perfect (I am not talking about her look that basically the main plot turner in the story, I am talking about her lack of skill in communication that make the whole CPC story to be happen) and so does Frederick isn't Prince Charming (I won't talk further about it, as I know there's so many people that still hates him and could utters so many hate speech over him - feel free to do so, it won't change my love over him as I think that Frederick is the best boy in the CPC that has the best character development ever possible).
There's actually several others AU troupes that happened to GwenXFrederick canonically, but I won't talk about those as I like to focus on promoting my own fanfic which featuring them as the main couple while using my top two AU troupes as the gears for the series to moving them to go...
I really wish for more people to read it, I really do.. And could give me feedback over it. That fic is basically the retelling of 'retelling' which is the CPC | Cursed Princess Club [webtoon]
[Hahahah, such an UNO reverse card ain't it? :3 ] WIKI :
The creator, LambCat, describes Cursed Princess Club as a chance given to her to take all the things they loved from fairy tales and stories of their childhood and combine them with all the messages they wished they got to hear back then. -> Here the list of ALL tales and stories that I could recognize in the overall of CPC until now which one thing that I notice? Every stories come from Western with slight non-direct nods of Eastern references. I like to be proud about my own origin as citizen from Eastern country so I'm putting them inside the fanfic story as well.
While thinking of fairy tales and brainstorming, LambCat's thoughts included "What if the spells didn't break and there wasn't a happily ever after? What would that scenario be like?", that got cross-pollinated with with the idea of insecurity and shame in general. -> the spells didn't break means the 'permanent' cursed condition, which all the CPC members are inflicted with it and overall I say - I am truly adore how each of them accepting their condition as being cursed in healhtly way BUT as the CPC story hinting of things that possibly could lifting them from their curse that not come from typical cure it all "True Love's Kiss" such as: Abbi's 24 hours curse reversal potion, the Cure-Curing Crystal (+ the period pauser for Prez' condition by Whitney) and informations from the Omniscient Clam... That make me thinking as generally all the CPC members already accepting their cursed condition (the first important step of grieving one's trauma), WHY not making the chance for them to could get cured from their curse WHAT IF the journey to lifting the curse is so painful BUT really worth it? I really want to explore it, that's why I am making Frederick cursed 'literally' as the driving point of the fanfic story that I am making... He need to deal with his curse, along with resolving the initial metaphorical curse that already in there as Plaid Prince Royalty...
In the beginning, the story was a simpler one about looks not being everything. It has expanded to being about the idea that society has a lot of things they want from us. Cursed Princess Club was about how many of us have two parts of ourselves. One that we want to present to others based on what they want, and one that's just us. What if there were a clash between them? What emotions would come from that? -> there's so many examples about it in various characters, such as : Blaine (his true self that he shown in bare to Maria after the piano duel VS the mask that he keep shows in the public as 'the perfect Plaid Prince Charming'), Frederick (his distant "icy"-shallow-judgmental 'Plaid Prince' persona VS his true self that really just wants to read books as doing nerdy stuffs etc by having true friends that could understand him), Gwendolyn (her 'polite' selfless sweety princess VS her selfish persona that just wants to skip forward to her imagination of 'happily-ever-after' with Frederick which wants to skip the hurtful feeling over confrontation about her shattered perspective) ...and the CPC as entirety, why the logo (insignia) is a rose depict half pink and half black/brown? Because even thou never confirmed it yet the meaning of it, I say it's related about accepting the previous non cursed form-persona (pink) and current cursed form-persona (black/brown).
So my fanfic, Returning Back to Make Amends wants (and really hopes) to could explore the things that the CPC tells but WON'T shy over the mature themes that hinted in the story as it's being put down on some notches, and to doing so I like to use Frederick as the main character of that fiction RaS (Reversus ad Satisfaciendum) by establishing unique personalities that depicted about him - and as I relate to him the most, I feel I could do it imagining the fanfiction story that make him swapped role with Gwen which now he's the Protagonist of the story while Gwen is the deuteragonist
It could really work and without making other characters to changes dramatically (as to not making an OOC/ Out of the character), Prez still the tritagonist of the story and the CPC as the best support system over the 'cursed' royalties. Aside from Frederick being the character that most relatable to me, I love to explore the possible interactions of him (but with more knowledges already, as he already get and learn stuffs until the episode 145 plot points) with everyone. What will he do to his own family? What will he do when meeting the CPC as the much needed support system for him...with so many things to consider first? What will he do when interacting with Gwen as he could get chance to return to the past, to make amends.. but his greatest mistake already done?
I've read so many stories be it from various webtoons, fairy tales, novels, games, fanfictions... My greatest inspiration, and the motivation that making sure that I could reach to that end is a SniLy time travelling fic (A Peace Not Promised)
But let's end the general description of the fanfic, as we jump onto the story itself. Let's begin from the prequel of the story
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The Prequel of the Story (MEPHISTO) https://www.tumblr.com/cornus27florida/733053034090921984/cpc-fandom-need-more-love?source=share
From that fic's comment, I am really glad to could make in character's depiction especially to the Plaid Royal Family
As a prequel, one could read it before reading my fic series 'RaS' for better enjoyment but not necessarily need to read it either. In nutshell, the prequel fic really help me to establish the possible scenario that happened to the Plaid Royalties - as overall the punishment scenes gives too much shock to everyone that make the digestion of what really happened is difficult to happen. Also the title inspired by the [Oshi no Ko] ED song - is to giving the hint of time travelling scenario
Mephisto = power to manipulate events throughout time
Does that means the whole cause of the time travelling AU is related to a demon? Eh, huge spoiler for my fanfic - a highly classified content that I won't deny or confirm 'till the end
Now let's go to the RaS! We're start with the summary description!!! (most finds it's so scary, WHY ;-;)
"What-If" at the episode 145 where Frederick canonically supposed to break free from the prison - unfortunately passed away instead?
-> PNP starts with the main character, Severus Snape, passed away as like canon Harry Potter where he bitten by the snake (Nagini, Voldie's Pet).. There's so many time travel AU stories that making the main character(s) to die first too
Follow the difficult, cursed journey of Frederick that becomes the protagonist of his story as given another chance to make amends by the angel of the fortune Gwen by returning to the past - few months ago before his death day as imprisoned by Leland alone in the hole Given knowledge from the memories of what might happen but inability to tell them to the ordinary, non-cursed people as blazing rusted chains of 'non-divulgence' will accompany Frederick to prevents him to telling the truths; about him that come from the future, about his kingdom's vile plan to the Pastel Princesses, about the details of the events that'll lead to the doomed future...
-> I am not a good writer by any means, this project RaS is literally the first time I am making a huge multi chapters series which make me so anxious... But I know I am not the only one that making fanfiction with that 'skeleton' like that, 2 huge fandoms (Harry Potter and NARUTO) in the fanfictions has many examples of that, but I admit that in the CPC fandom my project gonna be the very first to exist. It's gonna be the very last? Hmm I don't know honestly, I've seen some CPC fanfic with time travel element with potentials...
In the 'magical' world of the CPC series, "time travelling" is something unheard off and considered to completely fictional even for the club that consisting of cursed members. It's out of the world, and all those Fairy Tales books have no match for this particular "curse". Could Frederick makes differences for a happy ending, or he'll die again trying?
-> Time travel. Wao. Such a huge interesting plot driver that so strong and powerful, but could become very messy if not handled right espc if disregarding the canon original stories and rationale thinkings of the story (even if the origin material is a fantasy genre). There's a special character trope identity for time traveller that making FIX-IT the story (another troupe of mine that I really like, usually part of the subplot of "Canon Divergence) which is "Peggy Sue". Frederick is Peggy Sue, but I try my possible best to not making him as Gary Sue with the canon Frederick's skill - Administrative Support = he knows that he can't do everything alone, he needs the help from others that as the story progress we see the friends that he finds along the way as becomes "The Alliances" that'll progress along the way BUT before he could do anything, reaching his goal to saves Gwen - he desperately need to help himself first as in canon analogy, he need to climbing the hole first before even thinking to saves anyone yet...
Most people are scared over the honest summary that I did huhuu T^T But, that's simply the truth? I really hate fanfic that not being honest about the summary of their story, so to not making myself as a hypocrite.. I tell things like that as to not scaring anyone but well... Example: [I am really sorry, didn't mean to scare anyone!] my jaw droped after reading just the description
I am cut to the WARNINGS then for well deserved wariness
This fic decided to be rated M (mature) for reasons as following: (domestic) abuse in form of what Leland could do to his own family, character death (Frederick's reason to reviving the past - is death), (graphic depiction of) violences including cursed attacks (acid damage, were-spider transformation), drugs overdose, also mention (as including ideation) and depiction of suicide.
Most CPC fanfic are on teenager category, and honestly I am in dilemma if RaS should in M or T because PNP as main reference is T rated - even with the character death, subtle hints of mental issue including suicide by jumping from the astronomy tower etc.. I even changed for T at some moment, but then I decide to change back to M so I could be more free to put much needed warning plot points, it's not just death to establish the time travelling condition.. it's for taking complete dark turn over the dark truths that hinted all along in the CPC, like for example eating poisoned apple = suicide
Ch 1 My Deepest Regret
The shortest chapter indeed but I am not sure if anyone aware of my deliberately quote from Jamie. Jamie is the first character in the CPC that truly ships gwenderick after all
Jamie of the CPC ofc not the one that giving quote, but his IRL paralel did. It's such a heartwarming enpowering quote
“Don’t give up. Don’t give up on your story. Don’t give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It’s all worth fighting for.
”
— Jamie Tworkowski
Ch 2 The Angel of the Fortune at the Afterlife
I know there's so many religions and beliefs, but personally I believe that the afterlife (world) is exist and there's angel(s)
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Ch 3 Returning back to make amends
One of the most important moment in the story is when title drop happen, right! So does this fic, with one sentence that I like to pointing out regarding the whole story as following:
Also your death too, why did you forget? Probably with you returning to the past, there's gonna be canon divergences that even make people not as what you know in the past.. Who knows? -> there's so many examples of time-fix fic, but for much needed plot points that involve huge spoilers - some characters aren't like what they're depicted in the canon (espc as reviving the past, the 'introduction' meetings bound to be different) but doesn't make them OOC dw
Ch 4 Breakfast Affair at the Plaid Palace
I am really sorry for the ping but I want to credit you again for helping me making divergence of Frederick's confrontation at the Breakfast of Episode 16 @alexandersimpleton!
Ch 4 is the first huge dread of me to officially making canon divergence but overall I feel I am doing pretty job over it!
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Ch 5 How does it feel to be cursed?
Ch 5 basically make full interpretation that Frederick read ALL of Fairy Tales possible including the ones that come from Eastern - whole new side of the world that not really ever mentioned in the CPC that making major kingdoms as whole in continent, while we know the existence of the Braided Island that unknow exactly = other side's world
So far he's handling the curse pretty well in my book- Since he's reading the tales that he knows to know if his curse is in one of them
That's HC scenario that I really love to happen if Frederick is literally cursed, what he'll do for the first time? Read books
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Ch 6 Long Road Journey
hmm not so much to say as honestly that chapter is 'ugh, I need to write that no matter what for sake of the future' BUT the scene where Lance dragging Frederick out is like this;
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Ch 7 SHATTERED
Ch 8 Midnight Snacks
The perks of Canon Divergences Time Travelling AU is we could explore characters early, even for the characters that in canon not yet introduced (example in that ch, Renée) if see the canon timeline - and in the fanfic you could fleshing out their character as well, Renee being an artist that keen on details IMHO not that far fetched because we've seen how she could draws a frog with stitched mouth well for Aurelia
Ch 9 Blondies’ Wariness
My inspiration of that chapter is from CPC meme of this:
https://www.tumblr.com/the-neighbors-kid/707946794118692864/a-jokey-cpc-blonde-people-alignment-chart-i-have?source=share i
@the-neighbors-kidsorry for ping but really appreciate the meme as it's even give me reference for the story!!
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Ch 10 Fairy Tale Ingredients
Based on my own CPC theory analysis as following : https://www.tumblr.com/cornus27florida/712232201376432128/curses-and-cures-magics-and-science?source=share
Ch 11 My Curse and Tales that Related to It
https://www.tumblr.com/cornus27florida/734969016718901248/chapter-11-review-ras-the-cpc-fanfic?source=share
Ch 12 Green Eyed Ezzy
Credit again for Isaac @the-giggling-guava that helps me a lot to fleshing out the Princels as the whole, I really love how it's done but I am surprised myself over that ch is 8k hahaha
Basically that ch is the one that hurting me so far in term of heart, mental and overall self - and I am channeling my own hurts to make that much needed Princels intro as reality
Chokehold inspirations for making that chapter :
IHF's (@cpcposting) fanart of Frederick with black hair dye
IHF's fanfic that making Isolde has a brother, and a band - but instead 'uncle' for Plaid Princes has blue hair and grey eyes, I want to make him a symbol of 'union of Plaid Princes but GOOD (as the evil is OFC Leland)' by making him has great talent over music (Blaine), grey hair (Lance) and green eyes (Frederick, still mystery where he got 'em)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ8K6udN3VI/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
"Please, don't ever like me.. If you like me, there's only heartbreak in the future as the true nature of my curse is unknown - never mind how to break it. You should hate me instead, I am the sole reason your perspective is shattered. I am indeed the monster. You shouldn't in near proximity to a dangerous monster, it will rips you apart as already done with your self-worth..." - Frederick, chapter 11th
Personal shout outs to @meritre24601that reinforcing me that speech very in character of Frederick.. and I remember @saemi-the-dreamertheory about the symbolisms !!
https://vxtwitter.com/risdelusions/status/1729762922547540196?s=20 + https://fxtwitter.com/marinaapbch/status/1730323802175779016 Fred's mind : And all alone again - it will fine, as long as the loved ones (Gwen) will be safe, she has CPC now
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+ I love Checkov's guns, which the books that the Princels gifting to their guests... might become important later on ;)
Overall I am making up all the titles, EXCEPT Syrah's one
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I will do reblogs from this point forward for the incoming chapters, is also to help me get better in organizing ^^
C'mon me from the future self, YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IT
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lacebird · 5 months ago
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Are you a librarian for your career? How do you like it/would you recommend it? And did you have to get a masters?
Hi dear anon!
I am working as a librarian and I'm finishing up my degree right now! I think it's such a wonderful career choice for me and I truly couldn't pick a more right path for myself. I love helping people and it's such a great feeling to know that the work you do has a positive impact on people's lives.
As for recommending it, I think it depends on the kind of person you are. A lot of people have a very romanticized image of what a librarian is or does, but today the role of the librarian has changed significantly. You see, for example in academic settings, librarians taking on a more teaching role — some teach classes in how to search for academic journals or about critical thinking for example. In general, the librarian role has grown to have more teaching aspects, so you as a person need to have a good way of explaining things to people. The digital age that we are in has also had an impact in the library field, so there is a need for librarians that develop websites and or librarians that are in charge of marketing events in social media for example. I can't talk about every single type of librarian as this post would end up being super long, but the American Library Association has a great page about becoming a librarian with lots of information about the different types of libraries and reading recommendations. If you're interested in becoming a librarian, start there.
Since librarianship is such a broad field, there is also room for you to apply your own skills and interests to the job. I've met teaching librarians who say that they're not interested in reading at all, and some that are so incredibly passionate about children's literature and promoting reading to that demographic. Think about what you already like to do. Are you really structured and understand computer systems? Maybe being a librarian in charge of library system is for you! Do you have a passion for reading and love talking about books? Maybe you could be a children's or teens librarian. The American Library Association has a list on how your interests can work in the library profession that I recommend reading. I really enjoy graphic design as a hobby, but I've managed to use that hobby in my professional work by creating marketing materials like posters for events and other projects. Sit and think what you like and see how it can be applied to libraries!
As for the training, it depends on where in the world you are as different countries have different requirements. I'm not too sure how reliable this Wikipedia page is, but it has an overview of requirements to become a librarian around the world. I know in the States for example, you need to have a Master's in library and information science from an accredited university in order to become a librarians, but other parts of the world have different requirements. If you're in the US, you can search for programs in this database and filter by state. I can't speak for other countries' requirements, so I would suggest talking to a career or guidance counselor, or contact a university, to help you further.
I hope this helps you out in some way! Feel free to ask if you have more questions! I'm sure other librarians on here can add to this post as well because I feel like I've might've missed some things asfgdhf
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wptfif · 1 year ago
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What Is WPTFIF?
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Hey @count-cr4ckula here. You can call me Boopus/Beep/The WPTFIF Guy/Count Crackula/Ghouly Rooly/Jules, whatever as long as I’m cool with it. This pinned post will be a big base resource on my WIP story We Put The Fun In Funeral (Acronym: WPTFIF). If you have any more specific questions about WPTFIF, feel free to comment below or ask me about it on Discord if you find me.
What Is WPTFIF?
WPTFIF was initially a fighting game concept I had in my head about a goth kid and a demon that have a big trip around the country to recapture ghosts back inside an enchanted book. The concept is relatively the same except with a few changes and that I don’t have a particular medium in mind to convey the story at the moment other than hand drawn work (Maybe animation if I gather the motivation). The current story of WPTFIF follows a Nameless punk (They/Them) who grew up without parents that steals an accursed book called Codex Kakos, containing 22 powerful monsters from a traveling performer demon named Edgar (He/Him). Edgar leaves his troupe and his brother Oswine to retrieve Codex Kakos before anything goes wrong… it does go very wrong as the 22 monsters are released across the country of Canada, The Nameless Kid and Edgar have about a month to recapture the 22 monsters into the book or else a terrible cataclysm will occur in the next full moon. The story is subject to have plenty of changes and new additions I will add to his blog as we move along.
What Will This Blog Serve?
This blog will host discussion, art, concept work, story elements, and plenty of development shenanigans for WPTFIF. Once again the determined medium for the story isn’t clear yet, is it a comic? Cartoon? Game? I don’t know, I just wanna iron out the fun bits (the story and stuff) before I do anything big with it.
Any Sensitive Content?
I think even when my work isn’t taking a serious direction, I would probably add sensitivity warning anyway because my work is big on gross visuals or grim subject matter every now and then because I’m a massive horror fan. This series will likely contain stuff like bright colors and gooey visuals, creepy clowns, death, spiders, and other ghoulish stuff. More sensitive stuff included may be included. I will list them as they appear in my creative process in a sort of does the dog die website kinda manner in one big post.
Characters?
There’s going to be a lot of characters in this project. The two main characters are Acronym Kid/Nameless Kid/Punk/Gender Ambiguous Child/The One Not To Be Named and Edgar. There will be a few reoccurring side characters like Edgar’s brother Oswine, a few human characters, and even some of the more notable or the 22 monsters.
Another note to add to this section is that just like with my other work, majority of the characters are LGBTQ+. I am queer myself and I like writing other queer characters so if you dig that and you like the characters for it, I’m happy for you. If you’re here to be a dick about it, this blog isn’t for you.
How Can I Acceptably Interact With this Work?
There are a few ways you can contribute to this project if you’re interested in it. Asks are always fun, you can ask me questions about it on the Ask Tab or ask characters questions and I can give you little drawn responses if I have the time. I am super flattered whenever I see fan art or fan works of any kind and I’ll surely reblog it here if I can. My only major limit to fan content is that I will not reblog or engage in any NSFW/Inappropriate/Fetish stuff. I’m a minor that’s actually fucking weird if you think content of my characters is okay like that. I’m fine with somewhat suggestive work or shipping content if that’s your cup of tea.
Thank You For Reading This Post!
Future updates with new characters, illustrations, and story stuff are to come in the near future! Stay Tuned.
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realstesh · 11 months ago
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New Year resolutions (art and non-art)
It's 2024 for me already, and with the arrival of it, there is also a new list of goals that I want to achieve in the new year. This post is a kind of promise and a reminder to myself, with a look back and a look into the future.
Warning - may contain many grammar mistakes, since English is not my first language and I'm emotional about all of this. Also, there is a lot of text, haha.
Be free to read it of you want, there are some art related stuff and self reflection. Maybe someone will find something relatable here, since I had (and still have)... a lot of self doubt and problems, but I began to overcome them, from physical appearance to mental stuff. This also can be your another warning if you are triggered by any of this.
I'll start by mentioning what I need to overcome in order to become better in any area. I have to overcome my laziness, procrastination, and self-pity. All three things are in step with each other, so the goal will be the same for all: I will prevail over this. Not "I will do my best" or "take the first steps in this battle", but only one thing: I will overcome those things, and I will win battles with them every single day in any field: gym and training, reading and drawing. Eternal self-pity only exacerbates already overgrown laziness and procrastination by masquerading as this idiotic and often misapplied "Don't overwork yourself and take breaks to avoid burnout." Only constant development only growth
I'm going to beat my laziness every day.
I'm going to step over my "I don't want to, I won't do this" and do what I have to do to be a better version of myself every single day.
Now let's get into the specifics. 
1. This year (2024) and beyond, from the very first day of it, I will exercise and work out to the maximum (in the gym and at home), eat right, give up sugar in any form, give up flour based products. I will go to the gym three times a week, and the other 4 days I will work out at home.
I actually started going to the gym this year (2023), but… it was all in vain because of the previously mentioned laziness, procrastination, and self-pity. I often skipped gym because I was "not feeling it today" or "ouch, my head\tummy\left buttcheek hurts". I also broke the diet many, MANY times, and in the end, I ruined my progress and actually gained weight and excessive fat on my legs (it's a hard topic for me, so it is a big deal). So fuck me for being a pussy and lazy bitch; this time I'm not going to go down this road because I need to get in better physical shape for my mental health, and for another reason that I'll not mention, since… I really do not believe that I will ever achieve it. But we will see.
2. This year (2024) and beyond, from the very first day of it, I will read every single day 50 pages minimum.
So, this might sound like it came out of nowhere, but I actually suck at finishing my books—hell, even STARTING to read them. I buy them thinking that I'll read them, but in the end, I do not. I currently have 3 unfinished classic literature (classics of my country and world literature) and at least 7 books about culture and art (more like guides and textbooks for writers, artists, etc.). And guess what? HAVEN'T READ ANY OF THEM. 
I want to read more, learn more, and actually put my knowledge to use. And really become a more well-read person with a broad outlook.
3. This year (2024) and beyond, from the very first day of it, I will draw every single day, work on my art style and work on traditional artwork, as well as work everyday on at least one of my projects that I have (like writing a script, lore for the characters or the world, etc).
I believe at this point it doesn't need any more explanation except for some things. I actually have 5 projects that have a decent cast of characters and a story kinda sroted out, but the thing is, the story and lore don't actually have any consistency, are unfinished, and have a lot of plotholes in them (one of the projects doesn't even have a story figured out yet, sheesh). So I will work on those projects in every single aspect and flesh them out.
I also have 2 projects that are not just random ideas, but I really want to make them too, so I'll work on them as well.
Another thing - traditional art. So, I really love watercolor, and I want to learn how to work with it. I want to start making art with it, probably some covers for my projects or just commissions (only local, yet). So I will work on my watercolor skills as well as traditional artwork in general.
Those are my super-duper main goals for this Year and beyond, but... some parts sound a little sad, like me failing the gym this (2023) year and all that. Well, yes, it does. 
It's actually showed me that I'm weak in my spirit when it comes to myself only. For my whole life, I actually power through every obstacle and shit thrown at me, but only as long as it actually might affect others in some way. For example, when I started Uni, if it wasn't for the aweful stuff that my family was going through at the time, I would've just sailed through Uni on the lowest scores possible for graduation, since I don't give one shit about engineering and physics (yeah, I'm a design engineer) and I actually hate it with all my guts. But I not only forced myself to understand all of this but actually started working in the field early, and from the very first semester (and for every single one until graduation), I was paid a monthly stipend for acing my classes to provide financial support for my family.
But since I have... let's say, A LOT, of self hate in different aspects of my life and me in general, I don't prioritize myself when something involves only me. 
Like gym.
It's for me and me only, but since I think that I dont deserve it, or need it really, or the money or the time that go to gym can be used for someone or something else, like family needs (despite the fact that I'm financialy comfortable with covering gym and all fam needs), I just shut myself and do jack shit. You get the idea. I hope.
So yeah, this year showed me that I'm weak in that department and need to grow a backbone to lift myself, to become better and to beat the shit out of my pathetic weak-willed, lazy dumb ass to become better. It will be hard, to achieve all of the above, but guess what?
I will do it.
I will power through any obstacle, I will step over myself in order to achieve what I want, even of it means stepping out of my comfort zone and pour more blood, sweat and tears into it. Because that's the only way that it can be achieved.
So I want to end this (yet another) schizo break with the small letter to myself:
Stop bitching. Stop crying every day about something that you know is not true or about something that you know doesn't exist. Stop creating troubles and phantom problems to serve as your excuse. It's pathetic, and you are pathetic if you give in to your own illusion, your laziness, and self-made promises that you know you won't hold.
You won't achieve anything by doing nothing. Life won't magically get better. You won't magically get better at anything if you do not actually put anything into it or give up at the start, halfway through, or at any point of your journey.
You can do it, I know you can. YOU know you can. It will be difficult, but since when was anything easy for you to achieve? I saw you work hard to make your family proud and to make things better for them as best you could. Now it is time to do the same for yourself. Don't give into temptations, lies, and illusions that all of this is for nothing. Even if one of your goals is not achieved because of it, you have others that I know for a fact will be achieved. Don't give up. Stay strong and true to yourself.
You got this.
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thefloralhouses · 1 year ago
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graphic designer malaysia
It looks like you're interested in graphic design and graphic designers in Malaysia. Malaysia is home to a vibrant creative community, including many skilled graphic designers and design studios. If you're looking for graphic design services or professionals in Malaysia, here are a few steps you can take:
Online Search: Use search engines like Google to search for "graphic design Malaysia" or "graphic designer Malaysia." This will provide you with a list of agencies, studios, and freelance designers who offer their services in Malaysia.
Freelance Platforms: Check out freelancing platforms like Upwork, Freelancer, or Fiverr. These platforms often have profiles of Malaysian graphic designers showcasing their portfolios and skills.
Social Media: Browse platforms like Instagram, Behance, and Dribbble, where designers frequently showcase their work. Use relevant hashtags like #graphicdesignMalaysia or #MalaysianDesigner to find designers based in Malaysia.
Design Directories: Some online directories list design professionals by location. You might find dedicated directories for Malaysian designers or broader directories that include designers from various countries.
Networking Events: Attend design-related events, workshops, conferences, and meetups in Malaysia. This is an excellent way to connect with designers, learn about their work, and potentially collaborate.
Local Design Magazines and Websites: Look for local design magazines and websites that feature profiles of Malaysian designers. This can give you insights into the design scene in the country.
Ask for Recommendations: If you know anyone in the creative industry in Malaysia, ask them for recommendations on graphic designers or agencies they've worked with or know of.
Review Portfolios: Once you've found potential designers, review their portfolios to assess their style, skills, and suitability for your project.
Contact and Discuss: Reach out to the designers or agencies that resonate with your needs. Discuss your project, goals, budget, and timeline to see if they're a good fit.
Remember that choosing a graphic designer involves more than just their location. Evaluate their portfolio, communication skills, understanding of your project, and their ability to bring your vision to life. It's also a good idea to have a clear project brief before you start contacting designers.
Please note that my information is based on knowledge available up until September 2021, and there may have been developments or changes since then. Always verify the information with up-to-date sources.
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bbbearreview · 1 year ago
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Grizzly Bears
Journey of the Bitterroot Grizzly Bear by Steve Nadeau
Just a quick disclaimer- all opinions expressed are of my own.
Quick synopsis: This story is a personal account of the first ever biologically based research project on grizzly bears in the Selway Bitterroot Ecosystem.  Nadeau was on the frontlines of research, advocacy, and political backlash when it came to Ursus Arctos Horribilis.  Detailing the efforts spanning multiple decades to re-introduce grizzly bears into their historic home range of the Selway Bitterroot Wilderness in Idaho and Montana, the book highlights just how difficult it is to achieve interagency coordination on top of public input and fueled by political pressures. Weaved between the reintroduction effort chapters are snippets of the Bitterroot Grizzly’s, named “BB”’s, life from birth in the Selkirk mountain range to his death in the Clearwater National Forest of Idaho.  This realistic yet semi-fictional account of BB’s life helps the reader develop more of a connection to the bear by detailing the bear’s milestones as if we were right alongside it. Nadeau explains the process of developing an EPA Grizzly Bear Recovery plan, having the Selway Bitterroot Ecosystem become a designated recovery zone, formulating the Draft Environmental Impact Statement, and ultimately the fate of the management plan as it falls into the political game of tug-of-war.      
Present Relevancy: The book is relevant to grizzly conservation today.  The United States Fish and Wildlife Service is again attempting to delist grizzlies from the Endangered Species List (they tried for the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem in 2007 and 2017) so there will be a new Environment Impact Statement (EIS) conducted over the next few years to see what the best hand-off management plan would look like for each state involved (ID, MT, WY).  Every EIS has a period of open public comments; that means you and I can voice our opinions!  If you are someone who lives, recreates, or just cares about this species then there are ways for you to become involved.  Think about why the conservation of grizzly bears matter to you, or on the flip side, why it doesn’t matter to you.
Why I believe grizzly bear recovery is important:  Humans are the main reason grizzlies were listed under the Endangered Species Act.  As a country, we decided we didn’t like predators!  They eat livestock and make people feel unsafe.  This sort of anti-predator sentiment can easily be mitigated through education, taking proper precautions when recreating (like carrying and knowing how to use bear spray), proper care of livestock containment (electric fences), and keeping trash stored out of bear’s reach (in bear-proof containers).  All these methods have been proven to help limit and avoid human-bear conflicts and as a further result, limit the euthanasia of bears that become problems due to poor human behavior.  Grizzlies are important to the ecosystem (spreading seeds of berries and whitebark pine and regulating prey populations) and they are iconic to what many people have in their mind as the “wild west”.  Outside of protected areas such as national parks (which, by the way, millions of people pay money to see these animals) grizzlies exist on the fringes of human development because of tolerance and respect.  When we start to lose respect for a wild animal existing in its natural habitat and behaving in its natural way, we lose tolerance and thus begin to lose species.  Unfortunately, the recovery and management of grizzly bears is just as much about management of people and teaching people how to coexist with these animals.  I understand this is a very simple look into this complex system of wildlife management, but it is a start and it is something for us all to ponder on. 
How you can get involved:  First, I’d encourage you to read the draft environmental impact statement as well as each state’s grizzly bear management plan.  Second, voice your opinion!  Let your state representatives know how you feel about grizzlies.  Third, support conservation organizations who are helping to write policy, educating the public, and are leading voices in grizzly recovery.
Sources:
Steve Nadeau, Journey of the Bitterroot Grizzly Bear, Boise, The Bitterroot Grizzly LLC, 2020
Bryce Andrews, Down from the Mountain: The Life and Death of a Grizzly Bear, New York, Mariner Books, 2019
USFWS Grizzly Bear Recovery Program 2021 Annual Report, https://www.fws.gov/sites/default/files/documents/2021%20GBRP%20Annual%20Report.pdf
Montana Fish, Wildlife, Parks, Montana Draft Environmental Impact Statement, 2022 https://fwp.mt.gov/binaries/content/assets/fwp/aboutfwp/public-comments/grizzly-bear-management/grizzly-bear-statewide-management-plan-eis-executive-summary.pdf
0 notes
furfeatherfriend · 1 year ago
Text
Grizzly Bears
Journey of the Bitterroot Grizzly Bear by Steve Nadeau
Just a quick disclaimer- all opinions expressed are of my own.
Quick synopsis: This story is a personal account of the first ever biologically based research project on grizzly bears in the Selway Bitterroot Ecosystem.  Nadeau was on the frontlines of research, advocacy, and political backlash when it came to Ursus Arctos Horribilis.  Detailing the efforts spanning multiple decades to re-introduce grizzly bears into their historic home range of the Selway Bitterroot Wilderness in Idaho and Montana, the book highlights just how difficult it is to achieve interagency coordination on top of public input and fueled by political pressures. Weaved between the reintroduction effort chapters are snippets of the Bitterroot Grizzly’s, named “BB”’s, life from birth in the Selkirk mountain range to his death in the Clearwater National Forest of Idaho.  This realistic yet semi-fictional account of BB’s life helps the reader develop more of a connection to the bear by detailing the bear’s milestones as if we were right alongside it. Nadeau explains the process of developing an EPA Grizzly Bear Recovery plan, having the Selway Bitterroot Ecosystem become a designated recovery zone, formulating the Draft Environmental Impact Statement, and ultimately the fate of the management plan as it falls into the political game of tug-of-war.      
Present Relevancy: The book is relevant to grizzly conservation today.  The United States Fish and Wildlife Service is again attempting to delist grizzlies from the Endangered Species List (they tried for the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem in 2007 and 2017) so there will be a new Environment Impact Statement (EIS) conducted over the next few years to see what the best hand-off management plan would look like for each state involved (ID, MT, WY).  Every EIS has a period of open public comments; that means you and I can voice our opinions!  If you are someone who lives, recreates, or just cares about this species then there are ways for you to become involved.  Think about why the conservation of grizzly bears matter to you, or on the flip side, why it doesn’t matter to you.
Why I believe grizzly bear recovery is important:  Humans are the main reason grizzlies were listed under the Endangered Species Act.  As a country, we decided we didn’t like predators!  They eat livestock and make people feel unsafe.  This sort of anti-predator sentiment can easily be mitigated through education, taking proper precautions when recreating (like carrying and knowing how to use bear spray), proper care of livestock containment (electric fences), and keeping trash stored out of bear’s reach (in bear-proof containers).  All these methods have been proven to help limit and avoid human-bear conflicts and as a further result, limit the euthanasia of bears that become problems due to poor human behavior.  Grizzlies are important to the ecosystem (spreading seeds of berries and whitebark pine and regulating prey populations) and they are iconic to what many people have in their mind as the “wild west”.  Outside of protected areas such as national parks (which, by the way, millions of people pay money to see these animals) grizzlies exist on the fringes of human development because of tolerance and respect.  When we start to lose respect for a wild animal existing in its natural habitat and behaving in its natural way, we lose tolerance and thus begin to lose species.  Unfortunately, the recovery and management of grizzly bears is just as much about management of people and teaching people how to coexist with these animals.  I understand this is a very simple look into this complex system of wildlife management, but it is a start and it is something for us all to ponder on. 
How you can get involved:  First, I’d encourage you to read the draft environmental impact statement as well as each state’s grizzly bear management plan.  Second, voice your opinion!  Let your state representatives know how you feel about grizzlies.  Third, support conservation organizations who are helping to write policy, educating the public, and are leading voices in grizzly recovery.
Sources:
Steve Nadeau, Journey of the Bitterroot Grizzly Bear, Boise, The Bitterroot Grizzly LLC, 2020
Bryce Andrews, Down from the Mountain: The Life and Death of a Grizzly Bear, New York, Mariner Books, 2019
USFWS Grizzly Bear Recovery Program 2021 Annual Report, https://www.fws.gov/sites/default/files/documents/2021%20GBRP%20Annual%20Report.pdf
Montana Fish, Wildlife, Parks, Montana Draft Environmental Impact Statement, 2022 https://fwp.mt.gov/binaries/content/assets/fwp/aboutfwp/public-comments/grizzly-bear-management/grizzly-bear-statewide-management-plan-eis-executive-summary.pdf
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chateautae · 4 years ago
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maybe i do | kth. I
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➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.
↳  part of the high-class series!
➵ pairing : taehyung x reader
➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst 
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 11k
➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning? 
➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33
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chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”  
prev. ↞ || ↠ next  || masterlist
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“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.” 
“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.” 
“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.” 
“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.” 
“And why is that?” 
“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.” 
“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.” 
“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”
“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”
“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”
“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”
“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”
“But Father-”
“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”
“Dad-”
“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.” 
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“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!” 
“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”
“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.” 
“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”
“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”
“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”
“But Dad-”
“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”
“Dad, I don’t know-”
“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”
And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across. 
And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.
You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.
And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.
If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him. 
He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.
It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.  
It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.
Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now. 
It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face. 
You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.
You zeroed your vision in more. 
Is that a cut on his finger?
“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.” 
“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”
“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?” 
“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?” 
Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move. 
It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book. 
He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg. 
Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?   
All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time. 
‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’
That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her? 
‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.
That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.  
He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.
Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment. 
And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.
But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.
Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.
Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct. 
You just seemed different. 
“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”
“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!” 
“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?” 
“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!” 
Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.
“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”
“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?” 
You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air. 
There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.
“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.
“So...” 
“Marriage, huh?” 
“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away. 
“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied. 
A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness. 
“I wanted to ask you something.” 
“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him. 
Taehyung didn’t miss that at all. 
“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?” 
You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.
“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”
“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped. 
“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated. 
“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet. 
Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.
Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life. 
Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed. 
“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.
“A bandage?” 
“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage. 
“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.  
After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.
He has really big hands. 
“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.
Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.
He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.
He scoffed to himself.
‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’
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It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.
It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.
That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.
You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.
You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.
You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life. 
You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man? 
Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating. 
These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall. 
It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.
You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.
The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.
Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.
How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.
It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general. 
You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.
Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.
Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.
And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his. 
So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.
You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.
‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.
There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.
“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.” 
Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly. 
“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”
You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”
“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.
You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”
“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you. 
You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”
“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.
“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”
“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.
“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”
“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”
You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”
“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”
You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.
You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.
What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.
Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.
“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”
“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”
“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.
“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go. 
You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.
You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together. 
Taehyung.
You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back. 
“Looking for me?”
You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.” 
“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.
“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?” 
Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”
“It’s not real, though.”
“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.” 
He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest. 
Why was his voice so deep?
You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.
You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands. 
It was kinda cute. 
You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized. 
“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.  
“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.
“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.  
Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now? 
“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake. 
“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.
You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct. 
Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’. 
Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest. 
You feel him tense underneath you. 
“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory. 
“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation. 
“Yes, so you do remember!” 
“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding. 
“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around. 
“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-
Wait. 
Oh God, not him. 
Anything but him. 
You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.  
You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was? 
You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be. 
Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear? 
He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?
Were you in love with him or something? 
The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name. 
“Kiseok-ah! Come here!” 
You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.
Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking. 
“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem. 
“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering. 
He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead. 
But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable. 
Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself. 
What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.
So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong. 
“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold. 
“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong. 
Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep. 
“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.” 
“How’ve you been?” 
“Better than ever. You?” 
“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”
“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”
Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.
“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation. 
“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.
You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively. 
You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately. 
“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you. 
Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle. 
Dear God, you took your time with this one. 
You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream. 
Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight. 
“Who the fuck was that?” 
“What?”
“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for. 
“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips. 
Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore? 
Why were there so many intricate pieces to you? 
“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.
You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.” 
Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours. 
His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief. 
He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.
Your eyes widened in complete surprise. 
 “So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face. 
You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock. 
“Says the one who was thinking about me.” 
“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you. 
“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”
“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you. 
“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?” 
“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.  
You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall. 
Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve. 
How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?
What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband. 
It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.
The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.
Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests. 
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It was the day of the wedding. 
You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today. 
Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.
The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony. 
And none of it was your real choice. 
Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite. 
This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another. 
Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own. 
It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage. 
But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself. 
These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.  
You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event. 
Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.  
It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept. 
You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.
While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye. 
You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself. 
You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate. 
That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips. 
To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy. 
He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate. 
He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.
He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life. 
Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.
Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love. 
Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering. 
Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality. 
“You may kiss the bride.”
Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.
Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.  
Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you. 
Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of. 
The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from. 
So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.  
He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing. 
“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light. 
Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.  
He at least owed you that.  
You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life. 
Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection. 
You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.   
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Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..
Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.  
You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. 
And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.
Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue. 
These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.
Especially since your last partner. 
It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner. 
Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested. 
To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful. 
You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official. 
But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally. 
And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.
But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play. 
The fool. 
You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.
It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so. 
It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again. 
He towered over you, and it made you more nervous. 
You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains. 
You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think. 
But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe. 
What if Taehyung really was no different?
It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one. 
He could simply not want you, but is forced to.  
You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move. 
You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either. 
Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him. 
You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.  
And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner. 
“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room. 
Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.
Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.
He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed. 
Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him. 
“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up. 
You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?” 
“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting. 
“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions. 
“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.” 
You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so. 
It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush. 
“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed. 
This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight. 
His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look. 
His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting. 
His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.  
“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”
You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.
Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.
“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly. 
You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”
“Shitty, as in...?”
“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.
Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution. 
“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”
“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room. 
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”
“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar. 
“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things. 
“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.
You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself. 
The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked? 
Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.
He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute. 
Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?
Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.  
Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.
You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss. 
Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange. 
How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it. 
He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.
“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you. 
You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve. 
You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened. 
You took a deep breath. 
Maybe Taehyung is different after all. 
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akamikazae · 2 years ago
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Love me Mercilessly
Chapter 9: Smoke
Akami is forced to recount her past to Minato (and the council). Unveiling the truth about her father only adds to Orochimaru's long list of crimes. In doing so she has to admit to her own disgraceful acts; the ones that keep her up at night.
Warnings: mentions of trauma, manipulation, canonical character death.
Word count: 3k
Catch up here! Ao3
Minato wanted to give her time, but they didn’t really have time. They needed any lead on Orochimaru they could find. 
Minato knocked on Akami's door early the next day. Kushina sent him with food. She said it was hard to talk on an empty stomach. Akami was hesitant to eat. Minato had told her that his wife made it especially for them and he couldn’t wait for them to meet. He convinced her enough to take a bite. It was nothing special really, just some Onigiri; something she had a dozen times. But she had never eaten anything that tasted so good, she swore she could taste it with every fiber of her being. So they ate and he listened as she recounted everything she tried so hard to forget. 
**
Once Orochimaru had come across Hashirama Senju's DNA a new pet project was born; he would have a child.
Mold that child in his image and create a new God of Shinobi. First he needed to find a mate with a strong Kekkei Genkai and a weak resolve.
He found that in Umiko Ketsueki, a Konohagakure kunoichi crushed by the weight of this unforgiving world. Umiko was a descendant of the Yuki clan from the Land of Water. Her family had escaped the Civil war years ago, finding refuge in the Hidden Leaf Village but she was all that remained. The Yuki clan had a rare Kekkei Genkai, the yielders having both Water and Wind nature; granting them Ice release.
Orochimaru was a cautious man. He wasn’t sure if a body could unnaturally withstand the stress of maintaining two Kekkei Genkai. So he tested his theory on Umiko first.
She didn’t seem to develop any sort of abilities, not mokuton and certainly not regeneration. In fact she was dying. 
Well maybe he needed to start earlier, introduce the foreign bodies to the immune system in childhood, children were much more adaptable after all. 
Orochimaru was cross when his daughter was born, he had coveted a son. 
Since Umiko had fallen ill it seemed Akami would come to be his only child. He didn’t want to waste such a rare specimen. Orochimaru managed to capture many children for his experiments, but none seemed to work. The children were dying too. It didn’t matter their age, or weight, the level of chakra they had or didn’t have. They all died.
He continued to train his daughter, but his interest was waning. When they moved further into fire country, he thought of a wonderful new use for his little girl. 
**
Orochimaru heard rumors of a clan that could turn to smoke, the Iburi clan. He needed samples, he needed to understand how it worked. He needed to gain their trust.  
And how wonderful for him that there seemed to be plenty of children in this clan. 
What purpose would they have to fear a child? He supposed his daughter was cute. She resembled her mother quite a bit, but not nearly as beautiful as Umiko. 
**
Orochimaru returned to their hideout late one night. 
He knew exactly where to find his daughter at this hour. He slithered into his study and as predicted there she was. Sitting cross legged on the floor leaning against the bookcase reading about the History of the Land of Iron. Akami liked his study, and so long as she stayed out of his lab Orochimaru didn’t mind her reading through his collection.
“I have a task for you, my pet.” Akami closed the book as her father spoke, keeping a finger squished between the pages to mark her place.
“You see there’s this clan, I need them. And they certainly need me. I want you to...get close to them.”
“Get close?” She questioned.
“Yes, I want you to make some friends. There are plenty of children in the clan. You can play with them, gain their trust. Learn from them.”
“I can go play?” She asked, masking a smile and making sure she had heard him correctly.
“Yes, but it is important that you not tell them too much about us, not until I tell you. For now just play nice. No, no you won't’ be needing those blades, hand them over.” 
She had become attached to the blades her mother had given her. They had this beautiful emblem engraved in the metal just above the hilt. She didn’t want to part with them, but nonetheless she listened to her father.
**
Akami was apprehensive but excited. She sat by a tree day in and day out, watching the kids play too shy to confront them. They played in a ditch, corralled in by earth. She was sick of being hidden in the earth. 
After watching them for a few days one of the boys had come over to where she was sitting. 
“Do you want to play with us?” He gestured towards the group of kids. Akami nodded. The boy extended his hand to her, she looked at it confused. When she made no motion to take it, he grabbed her hand and hauled her to her feet. He asked for her name.
And supplied his own with a smile. “Tenzo.”  
They taught her a game they had made up, she learned the rules quickly and won the third time they played and every time after that. She found she quite enjoyed winning. Tenzo was nice, and she was having fun: so much so that she forgot why she was there. She didn’t really care much, not even when her father had been cross with her for learning nothing more than Tenzo had a little sister.
**
Tenzo brought Akami to meet his family. She quickly took note that many of the adults would wince in pain, and that no one in their clan looked very old at all. The first time she saw one of them turn to smoke she gasped, not from fear but from excitement. 
Tenzo’s father seemed hesitant to reveal their clan's secrets, but she was just a little girl afterall. So he explained. 
Their clan had a Kekkei Genkai that would allow them to turn to smoke, it was stronger in the youngsters of the clan, but it was incredibly difficult to control.
Akmai wanted to know more, but she kept the rest of her questions to herself. When she returned home she thought maybe father would know, he knew a lot of things. So she told him what she learned. 
He smiled at her and patted her head, “you’ve done well my pet.” 
**
Akami continued to play with Tenzo,  and he became her friend. Her first and only friend. 
While the two played near his home they overheard sounds and voices coming from the nearby town. Tenzo sighed. 
“I wish we could go into town.” Akami knew she shouldn’t go anywhere without her father, but why couldn’t he go. 
“The world is dangerous for me and my people. If we turn to smoke and get blown away, we could die. So we have to stay here.” 
“So that’s why you live underground?” She mused. “I can’t go either, father makes me stay at home.”
“We should leave! We could run away, go anywhere!” Tenzo took her hands.
“My clan doesn’t get it. They’re happy to wait here to die. I’d rather travel the whole world!” 
She thought about the things she read in Orochimaru’s books, scrolls of  jutsu he had taken from villages all around the world. She wanted to see those villages some day... 
Akami laid awake that night imaging what the rest of the world was like. She and Tenzo could run away and have adventures like the main character from her favorite book. Tales of Gutsy Ninja. This book was different. Her father didn’t have any others like it. 
When Orochimaru found her reading it he had been furious, she didn’t understand why. 
He was so angry that he threatened to feed her to Manda; she knew he wouldn’t or rather couldn’t as Manda far preferred her. Still it was frightening when he was angry. 
When he eventually left her alone again she went back into his study and took it down from the top shelf, she needed to know how it ended.
Tenzo would like that book too, maybe she would sneak it out for him. 
**
“Akami my pet, I’m going with you today. I think I can save their clan.” 
If he could fix them Tenzo and her really could leave!  
Akami introduced her father to the Iburi clan leaders; she admitted that she had a Kekkei Genkai as well and that he had been the one to help her control her abilities. She boasted endlessly of his knowledge and Orochimaru so generously offered to help his daughter's new friends.
He had taken blood samples from most of the adults. He knew it wasn’t enough, but he had to be patient. As he suspected, their blood reacted well to the samples he had gathered from [Jugo’s*] clan. 
Orochimaru was right, the curse seal helped stabilize their Kekkei Genkai. It didn’t fix the problem but it helped. They trusted him more. This was good, everything was going to plan. But Akami was getting too comfortable. He had to fix that. She belonged to him. This Tenzo boy was a bad influence. 
**
Orochimaru had spoken with Tenzo’s father for quite some time. Tenzo would be coming home with them. Akami was so excited, she couldn’t wait to show him all of her favorite books. She'd finally have a friend to talk to; she wouldn’t be alone anymore.
It was late when they returned home and Orochimaru sent the children to bed. Akami was too excited to sleep, she crept out of her room and retrieved her beloved book from her father’s study. She knocked on the door of the spare room and when Tenzo didn’t answer she went inside. Only Tenzo wasn’t there, she searched for him but couldn’t find him. There was only one place left to look. 
Akami stood in the doorway of her fathers lab and found Tenzo cowering in the corner of the room crying, she clutched the book tighter to her chest.
“Tenzo..?”
When he looked up at her he looked angry. “I want to go home!” He cried out. “I don’t want to be here anymore!” 
Why was he in here? 
“Tenzo, let's go back to my room, I brought you this.” She pulled the book from her chest to show him.
“We can run away and have adventures like-” 
“I don’t want to go anywhere with you! I want to go home!” Tenzo recoiled further away from her.
Akami was upset, confused and angry. Why was he saying this? This wasn’t supposed to happen, they were supposed to run away!  
She heard soft clicking coming from the other side of the room. Orochimaru leaned off the wall shaking his head and walked towards his daughter. 
“Such a shame my pet.”
What was going on?  
“It would appear that this whole time he was only using you.” 
“Using me..?” She whimpered under her breath. 
“Yes.” He hissed. “He wanted your help. He wanted to save his clan. He’s not your friend, my pet. He deceived you. He doesn't care about you.” 
Akami let the book fall from her hand. Tenzo said nothing and refused to look at either of them.
“He got what he wanted, I helped his clan. Look at him, he fears you now. He knows it's the truth. He doesn't truly want your friendship. He was only nice to you because he needed you. He played with you because he saw how weak you were. He just wants to cling to his measly life. But we both know he doesn't deserve it, not when he deceived you. Kill him, my pet.”
Orochimaru placed a knife in her empty hand where her worn beloved book slipped from her grasp. She looked down at the knife. Its weight was comforting, the cold steel consoled her.
But...she didn’t want to kill him. He was her friend? Or he wasn’t? He lied to her this whole time? But father…he wouldn’t lie to her would he? He had taught her everything she knew, about ninjutsu, about the world, about who she was. Mother was gone, father was all she had left.
Her mother was weak and now she’s gone.
“He’s beneath you, my pet. You’d be doing the world a favor.”
Akami looked again at Tenzo. 
“Tenzo.. Is it- is it true?” He was looking straight ahead and didn’t say a word. If not for his body shaking she would have believed he was frozen solid. 
“Aww he can’t even admit his treachery." Orochimaru hissed.
"You know you really should have seen this coming....All of this could have been avoided, but you were so desperate for a friend…and he knew it.” Orochimaru came to stand behind her, encouraging her. 
“It’s okay, he deserves it. Go on, just like I showed you. You can end him quickly if you like.” 
Tenzo had lied to her. She was stupid to think she could have a friend, this was her fault. She had to fix it. What if father got rid of her too. No he wouldn't. She wasn’t useless, she made a mistake but she could fix it.
“Akami do I need to fix your mistakes?” Orochimaru’s voice had a bite to it now. She thought of what he had told her when her mother died,  “I have no use for the weak.”   
And she found that she was angry now, the blade being squeezed in the palm of her hand. 
“No.” She growled back. “It’s my fault Father. I’m sorry. I can fix it. I'm now weak. I can fix it…” 
**
Akami didn’t remember slicing his throat.
She did remember watching the blood spill down his neck, like a slow steady stream. She remembered her fathers voice, “that’s my girl” whispered with a low chuckle. She remembered going back to her room, her father said he would take care of the rest. She remembered looking in the bathroom mirror, some of Tenzo’s blood was on her face. That didn’t surprise her, what did surprise her were the tears spilling from her eyes much like his blood. Killing him was easy, a lot easier than expected. She was so angry. She didn’t know why. She couldn’t stand to look in the mirror anymore when all she saw was her father's face staring back at her.
She went to bed. She didn’t leave her room for three days. She didn’t read and she didn’t train. Her father came to check on her but she didn’t recall a word he had said and eventually he let her be. 
When she finally left her room she found that she was yet again all alone. 
Akami tried her hardest to ignore what had happened, what she had done, it was all her fault. But she couldn’t get the scene out of her head, him laying there lifeless, the look in his eyes. Her feet carried her to her fathers lab, like always the door was locked. She needed to go inside, she needed to see what she’d done. She broke the lock and opened the door, the lab looked the same as it always had. There was no blood staining the ground, no body, nothing. The only thing out of place was her book on the counter. She went to collect it walking around the table on the far side, she glanced at the papers haphazardly strewn about. There were symbols and texts she didn’t recognize. She skimmed it when she saw ‘Iburi. ’ A few words stood out to her, ‘senjutsu’ ‘white snake’ ‘Ryuchi cave’ ‘smoke. ’ Akami glanced at his supply closet. It was like an otherworldly force had called her to it. She clutched the book to her chest, opened the closet and stepped inside. She had never been in it before, only seen him grab things from it on occasion. There was yet another door in the back, curious she opened it as well. 
The room was impossibly dark, the only light seemed to emit from dozens upon dozens of tubes. They all had an ominous green glow. She stepped closer only to realize that there were bodies floating inside, hooked up to tubes and wires. She walked towards a back wall and there were tons of jars each one labeled with care. She found some vials of blood bearing her name, her mother’s name too. 
It felt like she had stepped into a whole other world. There were strange looking drawers under the shelf of oddities. She pulled one open and gasped. It was her mother’s body, but parts of her skin were stark white paler than her and even her father; so pale it didn’t look like skin at all. Why hadn’t he buried her? He told her he had. She stood at her grave- or what he had told her was her grave. She didn’t want to be here anymore. She backed away from the drawer and bumped into one of the glowing green test tubes. The bodies…they were all children. Akami was horrified, this couldn’t be real. What was he doing? She tapped on the glass but got no response. Were they.. No. Why would they be dead? Father didn’t, he couldn’t. Akami looked around the room, there was blood staining parts of the ground and the wall, there were chains suspended high up. Her eye passed over one of the tubes and she saw a familiar face. She ran to it.
“Tenzo..” She brought her hand up to the glass.
“Tenzo!” She screamed, the shock had worn off and now she was terrified.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! Wake up! Tenzo please! I’ll-I’ll get you out and we can leave, we can run away right now! I can fix it !! You have to wake up!” She banged on the glass, but he didn’t budge. She was pleading to a corpse. She pounded on the glass again, crying out her apologizes. Tenzo never lied, Father had lied. How long had he been lying?  
The boy opened his eyes if only for a moment, she stopped and gawked at him, choking out a sob. This wasn’t Tenzo. He was too small, his eyes were too dark. Tenzo was gone, he was dead. She had killed him. She couldn’t fix it. Wherever he was wasn’t here. He had left this world. She was alone and it was all her fault. 
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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years ago
Text
Dream SMP Recap (June 9/2021) -        New Citizens
Ponk has a chat with Sam, Fundy and Purpled officially join Las Nevadas, and Ranboo receives an update message from the Council.
---
VOD LINKS:
Ponk
Fundy
Purpled
Ranboo
---
- Ponk continues building the bridge in his new valley
- He returns to Foolish’s summer home and finds the countersuit Puffy left. He reads it. Many of the claims he doesn’t think are actually against the law of the land. He insists he wasn’t quoting Roadtrip during his Banquet speech, but rather an old man
- Ponk will have the best lawyers (he also may pay the jury off but don’t tell anyone). He’s amused that Puffy would work with BadBoyHalo and call Ponk the ‘dirty Eggpire supporter’
- He finishes reading the lore suit and greets Purpled in chat, telling him that he’s getting sued by Puffy
- Sam logs on and Ponk takes him over to the valley. They’ve had their differences, but Ponk is in need of a good lawyer. Sam suggests Tubbo, but Tubbo is expensive and intimidating
- Ponk points out that Sam will be the only one in the jury with an elevated IQ like his own. Sam hasn’t been officially selected for the jury yet, and they might think he’s biased, having cut off Ponk’s arm (Sam says he did it for good reason)
- They reach the valley and Sam approves of Ponk’s bridge
Sam: “You can see Kinoko Kingdom from here.”
Ponk: “(gagging sound) No, you can see Niki’s place! Niki’s communist cult! It’s great! We’re gonna set up a nice trade agreement, and (mumbling) then we’ll burn Kinoko Kingdom down to the groun-- I mean, then we’ll have nice trade deals with everyone, you know?”
- Ponk is bitter about losing his arm and Sam blames it on him for stealing the keycards
Ponk: “Sam...just so you know, just so you know...You can come to me after...after everything. I will still support you, Sam, okay? You’ll have a place to stay, because, all the wrong you’ve done is gonna catch up behind you, you know? All the wrong that you’ve done--”
Sam: “I haven’t really done anything wrong.”
Ponk: “Haven’t you? Haven’t you?!”
Sam: “No, I think I’m a good guy.”
Ponk: “You think you’re a good person?”
Sam: “I don’t know, you don’t think I’m a good person?”
Ponk: “I mean -- my opinions are biased.”
- Ponk asks Sam to walk and talk with him on the way back to Spawn. Sam’s spoken with Purpled recently
- They visit the animal sanctuary and Sam suggests they steal the strider. Ponk tells him stealing is bad. Sam wants to let it out. They play with the strider a bit
- Ponk explains his conflict with Puffy in general terms
Sam: “Look, I have a random crossbow from one of those guys that we killed.”
Ponk: “You said that so casually...life is precious, you know.”
- Ponk asks about the bank. He’s free to work. Sam says it’s up to Hannah. The two discuss the bank system
- Ponk hasn’t seen Technoblade in a while. Sam thinks he must be overthrowing governments in a far off land or something
- Ponk offers to trade with Sam for two stacks of redstone blocks. He asks how much for his arm back. Sam says he destroyed it. Ponk is upset that Sam didn’t keep it, but Sam says it was too mangled
- Sam trades some gold for the redstone
- They fight a raid together and capture a Ravager
- The two continue to chat for a while
- Fundy stands by his bed. He had a great sleep! He dreamt about a Windows update and he’s looking...a little sleepy?
- He checks the to-do list. Today’s the day. He grabs some things for the road. Fundy decides he’ll go alone. He doesn’t want to risk losing his snow fox friend
- He says hi to his Aunt Panisha (a salmon in the river) as he sets off, asking her to wish him luck
- Fundy reaches Las Nevadas wonders where Quackity’s office is. After some deduction, he heads to the Needle and spots Quackity going up the elevator
- After some hesitation, Fundy goes up the elevator too and comes face-to-face with Quackity, who sees him and asks if he’s okay. Fundy says he’s doing fine, he had a weird sleep and may have woke up outside the window
- Fundy tells him that he took his advice and bettered himself. They sit at the table and Fundy shows him his new diet. Quackity says he’s proud of him
- Fundy mentions that last time they spoke, he suggested they play cards and back at home, he didn’t sleep because he was waiting for Quackity to come over...and then he didn’t
- Quackity explains he just had a bunch of paperwork to do
- Fundy spots some slime blocks bunched at the side of the room and asks what that’s about. Quackity says it’s “a friend” of his, that he’s probably asleep
- Quackity gets Charlie to emerge from the slime
Charlie: “Hey, Fundy from L’manburg!”
- He was in the middle of his gloop-morphosis. Fundy is confused at how he knows who he is. Charlie digs into the floor and gets Fundy to greet him, slurping up some slime
- Quackity tells Charlie he needs to speak with Fundy. Charlie says he can “sell it” and starts telling Fundy he looks like he wants to gamble. Fundy asks Quackity why he’s talking like this, and Quackity says he must have learned it from TV
- Fundy finds out that Charlie is incredibly old and asks Charlie about how he knew he was from L’manburg. Charlie declares them best friends
- Fundy tells Quackity that he’s changed, that he’s a better man. Quackity thinks it’s great, but he doesn’t want Fundy to portray a false version of himself
- Charlie looks at Fundy close-up and says he hasn’t changed
- Quackity doesn’t want Fundy to join under these conditions. Fundy insists he’s fine, he isn’t portraying a false version of himself
- Fundy’s lived in that cottage for way too long. All these nightmares are because of him interacting with people and he’s ruining it for them -- but ever since he’s improved himself and become more healthy, he hasn’t had those nightmares
- Quackity has thought about it a lot, and Fundy’s work in L’manburg was exceptional. He thinks Las Nevadas will be a stepping stone to Fundy’s success
- Charlie gets Fundy to smell him and asks him what it’s like to dream. Fundy sniffs and maybe swallows a piece of Charlie. Charlie tells him one day he’ll be whole again
- Quackity passes Charlie a bone of one of their “mutual friends” in L’manburg and asks Charlie to analyze it
- Quackity and Fundy leave Charlie in the Needle and go back down. Quackity brings him downstairs, where he tells Fundy there’s no going back. He wants to make sure Fundy can trust him and hands Fundy a book to sign:
---
All persons naturalized in Las Nevadas, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of Las Nevadas and the land wherein they reside.
The signing of this document subjects you to the rights and duties of the nation:
TAXES. Residents are required to pay a jurisdictional and financial charge to the nation to fund future projects and development of the nation. Failure to pay could result in the extinction of your permanent residence and possibly death.
MILITARY PARTICIPATION.  One of your duties as a resident of Las Nevadas is the complete protection of the nation. You’re required to participate in any wars, conflicts, or disputes of the nation, in favor of Las Nevadas.
LAND. One of your rights as a resident of Las Nevadas is a self assigned plot of land, approved by the proper authorities, to develop productive businesses, homes, entertainment centers, etc.
GAMBLING. Gambling is defined as staking of something of value, with consciousness of risk and hope of gain, on the outcome of a game. Gambling is completely legal in Las Nevadas, but subject to constantly changing regulations.
THE LV LEGAL SYSTEM ---------------------------- Las Nevadas and any disputes within the nation will be settled in the Las Nevadas court (TBA), with the presence of the conflicted parties, and the proper authorities.
FALURE TO RESPECT THE CONSTITUTION AND THE DUTIES WHICH ARE ASSIGNED TO THIS RESIDENCE WILL RESULT IN THE IMMEDIATE TERMINATION OF CITIZENSHIP,  AND, IF GUILTY OF A CRIME AGAINST THE NATION, YOU ARE SUBJECT TO
DEATH.
SIGNED .  .  .
QUACKITY
FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT OF LAS NEVADAS
---
- Fundy is nervous and hesitates
Quackity: “Fundy, I -- You’re like a brother to me. We’ve gone through so much. But I still have to protect my nation...surely you can understand that.”
Fundy: “No, I -- I can. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah, um...it’s strong...You really believe in this nation, right? It’s like your child--”
Quackity: “Fundy...this is all I have left...if this nation dies, I die along with it.”
- Fundy signs the document with his full legal name:
Fun Jonatahan Micahel Vincent Georgina James Sus Dy
- He signs the book, gives it to Quackity and asks that if he ever reads it, to not call Fundy by his legal name
- Quackity welcomes Fundy to Las Nevadas as an official citizen!
- Charlie has control over the piece of slime inside Fundy. He tells Charlie not to do that
- Quackity asks Charlie if he has a name. They decide to call him “Meat” for now, but Charlie tells Quackity in “secret” (very loudly) that he isn’t actually meat...he is slime from the ground
- Quackity suggests they call him Slime From the Ground. He then says he is bones
- He leads the other two to the edge of Las Nevadas’ road and points out that they have a big issue: Tubbo’s outpost nearby. Quackity suspects that Tubbo may be planning some dangerous strategy against the country
- Quackity gives Slime some armor to put on
Slime: “Ready for war...don’t take my music discs!”
Fundy and Quackity: “Wh -- what did you just say?”
- Quackity has an informational video he can show Fundy later. They investigate the outpost. He reminds Fundy about the military protection portion of the document
- Quackity remembers the Butcher Army and asks how much experience Fundy has with the military. Fundy was part of every single one that’s existed
- Quackity suggests they build their own version of the outpost
- Slime starts breaking Tubbo’s windows. Quackity encourages it and tells Slime it’s called “griefing,” handing him dirt to spread around the place
- Quackity finds the two Totems of Undying they have at the outpost and asks if they should take them. He then says they should test them. He doesn’t know what they do
- Fundy isn’t sure they should, or what Tubbo’s intentions are. Quackity decides to leave them unless Tubbo retaliates for the griefing
- They notice the bridge and Quackity suggests a tollbooth
- Quackity explains the concept of taxes to Slime, who’s been watching Purpled recently. Purpled hasn’t done much, just farmed 
- They start building the tollbooth and Fundy brings up how medieval castles used to have boiling oil above the gates that they could use if there were people they didn’t like, and they could do something similar
- Slime starts throwing slime and Fundy can feel it (and it doesn’t feel good)
- Quackity asks for the bone he gave back, but Slime can’t tell the difference between all the bones
- Quackity remembers how when L’manburg exploded, Fundy and Niki came up to him and said it was a good day...what was that about?
Fundy: “The way I saw it was, during that time, everyone was trying to divide each other, right. Everyone was trying to divide each other...every one was either left or right and there was no in between. There was no...People always wanted to separate themselves and make war and destroy everything that was loved. When L’manburg was a thing, I cared about L’manburg, and then it got destroyed, right, and eventually, my hope at that moment was...that people just like, accepted that they shouldn’t--”
Quackity: “But you betrayed the nation...Fundy, the thing I’m getting at is, I don’t know your excuse or your thinking behind that...that will not happen again at this nation. No betrayals, no backstabbing. Not here. Understand?”
Slime: “What’s backstabbing?”
- Quackity and Fundy try to teach Slime how to backstab, then how to work the tollbooth against Tubbo
- Slime starts putting buttons on the walls. Quackity tells him not to, as it gives him bad memories
- Slime asks Fundy again what it’s like to dream. Fundy doesn’t want to talk about it, but Quackity notes that he’s been vague about it
- Fundy explains that every time something big happens in this place, he has dreams where he can sort of see what happens before it does. It’s like gazing into the future, except he loses details before it happens
- Quackity presses him on it. Let’s say they have a big war coming up, he takes Tubbo’s totems and Fundy sleeps and tells him what happens next so that they can prepare?
- Fundy doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Quackity doesn’t understand how real these things are
- What if they build an entire building for Fundy so that he can have these dreams comfortably? It’s just a possibility...
- Slime’s gloop-morphosis isn’t “complete” yet
- Quackity asks if Fundy knows Foolish. Fundy remembers one time he blew up a little bit of Foolish’s house and he finds out Foolish lives in Las Nevadas
- Quackity asks how long ago this was. Fundy says it happened a long time ago, but Slime corrects him
Quackity: “Just know, Fundy...he doesn’t know how to lie.”
- Quackity leaves to get diamonds and Fundy confronts Slime alone, asking him how he knows things. He tells Slime that in certain situations, it’s helpful to keep quiet on certain things for the benefit of other people
- They move on and Fundy teaches Slime a bit about fun and hobbies
- Quackity returns and they notice many squid in the nearby river. Quackity goes down and starts killing “cod” (salmon). Fundy corrects him that they aren’t cod, but to Quackity fish is fish. Fundy looks away while Quackity kills them
- They suggest Fundy be the food-gatherer. Fundy suggests a diet of fruit and plants
Slime: “What’s wrong with salmon? Your father loved them!”
- Quackity asks Fundy to elaborate on his father, if he came from a fishing family. Fundy asks Slime again about how he knows. Slime continually refers back to people “turning to dust.” 
- They ask about what Slime knows about them, then about Slime’s favorite memory. He digs a whole in the ground and waits for a bit
- They teach Slime about humor
Slime: “Two people walk into a bar. One is green, one is red. The green one is shaped -- is a bigger guy, and the red one is a smaller guy. To get to the bar, both got off a train. The train the red guy was on was going west at 40 miles an hour for 60 miles. The train the other guy was on did not serve lunch. They both walked into a bar, and 500 years later they were still just dust in the ground. At the end of it all, they were just still dust, and none of it mattered.”
- Slime tells another joke about a chicken turning into dust.
Quackity: “How long do you think it’ll take for me to turn to dust?
Slime: “I...I’ll make sure you never turn to dust, Quackity from Las Nevadas!”
- Quackity asks about Fundy’s father
Slime: “The sooty guy?”
- Quackity and Slime ask Fundy -- shouldn’t he know? Slime says Fundy can ask Wilbur about his history himself
Quackity: “Your dad’s alive, Fundy?”
- Fundy tells Quackity about how Phil came to him with some interesting news, that Wilbur is actually alive. Quackity ask when was the last time Fundy’s seen Wilbur. Fundy hasn’t seen him alive again yet
Quackity: “What’s your relationship with Wilbur?”
Fundy: “It’s...it’s complicated, man. It’s very complicated.”
Quackity: “Because...there’s an issue.”
- Fundy wants to talk to Wilbur about a lot of things. Quackity brings Fundy over to the headquarters and breaks the news that Wilbur came to see Quackity
Fundy: “...He saw you? He went on his way to see you, and -- and he’s not shown up to me to, you know -- why, why?”
- Quackity shows Fundy the “mark” Wilbur made. Wilbur asked to join Las Nevadas, and Quackity said no. He shows Fundy the name: Fort Big. Tommy and Wilbur are working together
- Quackity is just warning Fundy. He hopes this won’t get in the way of Fundy supporting the nation. Fundy just doesn’t know why Wilbur didn’t come to him, but he went to Quackity. 
Fundy: “Did he talk about me?”
- Quackity thinks he did, but he doesn’t remember what
- Fundy says goodbye to Slime and Quackity, heading off to settle down on his own. He stands at his plot of land, wondering if he’ll have to fight Wilbur
- Purpled is at his old base by the ruins of L’manburg. Life is good. He has DogChamp, he’s been fishing, no human contact
- He has something to attend to and goes to the cliffside nearby, finding Slime. He asks why Slime’s been watching him, who told Slime to spy. Slime avoids answering
- Purpled figures it’s Quackity and asks Slime more about how long he’s been above the ground, what he knows. Slime refers to him as “Purpled From a UFO” and Purpled shows Slime that his UFO has been destroyed by Quackity
- Purpled leaves Slime and visits the ruins. He notices Slime following him and tells him to leave again
- Slime traps himself in Dream’s honeymoon suite and Purpled continues down the path, looking at all the builds. He visits the Socializing Club and checks beneath the floor -- the trap he made all those months ago is still there. He wonders if anyone remembers these things
- Slime slimes his way out of the trap and Purpled visits L’manburg. He was just a pawn, there was no “Purpled in L’manburg” or “Purpled in Pogtopia” or “Purpled on Dream SMP’s side.” There was just no Purpled
- He returns to his house, gets DogChamp, puts him into a hidden chamber elsewhere. He stores his valuables...and rigs the entire place with TNT
He sets it off and it goes
- Slime talks to Purpled again. Purpled asks if Quackity is still interested in a new resident
- Purpled asks Slime to trust him as he retrieves DogChamp, and he gets Slime to lead him to Las Nevadas
- He makes it there and goes into the casino. Quackity doesn’t know what he has planned. He comes out to find Quackity there. Quackity takes him up to the top of the Needle
- Purpled makes it clear he only cares about the opportunity for himself, not for Quackity. He doesn’t stand for what Quackity does, doesn’t think there will ever be a time that he’ll respect Quackity as a person
- Quackity tells him they all change in some way or another. When he first became Vice President, he saw the best in everyone
Quackity: “I don’t really see the good in people anymore...but I do see opportunity.”
- Quackity tells Purpled that if they succeed with the nation, the two of them will be going down in history. Purpled starts to come around to thinking that maybe they are on the same page 
- Quackity had a citizenship document he meant for Purpled to sign, but he’s willing to gamble on it without
Quackity: “Welcome to Las Nevadas, Purpled.”
- He gives Purpled the document either way and tells him he has a right to a plot of land. Quackity will have a business meeting with all the residents soon
- Purpled asks for land behind the casino. He has an idea for something. Quackity agrees to give it to him
- Purpled leaves and speaks to himself with DogChamp at the stage. Things will be looking different around here real soon
- Ranboo goes to the mailbox he set up with the Council and checks it, finding a new update in the book along with a Netherite Axe labelled “axe of the end” in Enderman.
The update reads:
---
Hello. We have been observing the happenings around the server and we come bearing not news but rather a warning for you. We know that you like to stand idle and not engage in any kind of acts of violence and we respect you for that.
However, we also know that there are people that you care about and you need to understand that in order to take care of those people you are no longer able to just stand idle. You need to take a more active role again. We have given you something that can help with that. Use it carefully.
We respect your wishes. - The Council
---
- Ranboo takes the axe. He planned to work on Tubbo’s outpost, make it seem like more of a shop than an outpost
- He goes to the outpost and finds the griefing, cleaning it up
- As some protective measures, he leaves signs:
---
Hello! Whoever put a bunch of dirt everywhere, Dont!
This is going to be a new cookie shop! We dont have cookies yet
Please leave it alone! Or violence will be used.
---
- He continues working on the outpost and Techno logs on. Ranboo goes over to the new tollbooth and pays the toll of one bone
Techno: ranboo have you unlocked teleportation yet
Ranboo: not yet i dont think
Ranboo: let me try
Ranboo: yeah no
Techno: can you hurry up
Techno: asking for a friend
- Ranboo explores around Las Nevadas and makes a to-do list
- He makes a hidey hole in the strip club and strips some logs. He gets tempted to steal a Netherite block
His to-do list reads:
---
TO DO LIST FOR LAS NEVADAS: 1. Figure out what to get inside of. 2. Figure out what the hollow buildings are 3. Figure out why there are so many horses 4. Figure out who runs this place 5. Figure out what the black pillars are for
---
- He returns home and speaks with Tubbo in VC
---
Upcoming events remain the same.
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larrysballetslippers · 3 years ago
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Hey, I saw you write fictions. Could you help me understand how to go about writing fictions and what are the basic steps? I want to write a larry fiction but english isn't my first language and my vocabulary isn't advanced. I, however, do want to give a try maybe a short fiction. How do formulate a fiction? I have some ideas but I can't divide them into chapters and generate enough scenes. I have tried to write sometimes but it's always a dead end and I don't know to proceed.
Personally I like how read story where there's seeding in every chapter with some backstory which gradually gets revealed. I am into a/b/o phase right now and want to write a good story with basic yet great plotline which keep my readers hooked.
I have so many questions to ask. Sorry for this long ask and Thank you if you respond.
Hey sweetie. How do I say this without sounding self-deprecating? I'm still a beginner, I technically wrote two fics. I'm currently working on my first "advanced" fic, which means I'm still learning, A LOT. I can't really be a teacher right now, but I can give you some tips. I can help you with what I learned since I started writing and link some good blogs/posts. This is going to be long, so cut.
First, some tips.
1. There are so many superior writers out there, but everyone has to start somewhere.
You can't start writing with the idea you're the greatest writer on the planet. I wrote down my first story when I was eight. Did it have a good plot? No. Did it have well thought out characters? Absolutely not. Did I make a story inspired by my favourite superhero show? Yes. It was probably 300 words max and with horrible grammar. I'm a very imaginative person, so I make stories up in my head, but that was the first one I wrote down. I haven't written much since then, just some school projects and little things here and there. I only started really writing in April, I think. It was rough, but fun. It was a canon-compliant story, so it didn't need that much planning out, I thought. When I finished, I was so proud. Then I started my second fic and I realized my first wasn't the best. I was so sad when I read it back, disappointed it didn't turn out the way I had in mind. But I shook it off, realized it was my first fic, EVER. So I shouldn't put myself down. You have to start writing to get good, you can't expect to be Jane Austin without putting one word down. Don't COMPARE yourself to others.
2. Plot is never truly original.
Like music, there isn't somsthing like an original plot. Everything is taken from something else. Every plot in the world has taken inspiration from somewhere else. You can write an a/b/o fic with a spy theme, it's very clever, but not original. You've taken an a/b/o plot and combined it with a spy plot. Don't be afraid to write a cliche plot, it's about the way you write it. That's why no two fics are the same, the writer is different.
3. Find a beta you trust.
When I first started the first part of my fic (it was a series), I didn't know what a beta really did, so I asked someone to correct my grammar and that was that. In the second and third part of that fic I didn't even do that, I tried to correct everything myself. Part 4 of my series I asked a beta to help me, it was wonderful. It's the best part of my whole fic and I'm forever grateful for that beta. We weren't the best match, so we couldn't continue working together. The fic I'm writing now is much longer than anything I ever written, so I needed a good and available beta. I found one, the angel of all angels. You need to find someone that will help you with your story, but also encourage when you feel like complete trash. Believe me, you will. It's important you have someone to brainstorm with and laugh with over your your character's dumb jokes.
4. Your English is better than you think.
I'm not a native English speaker, shocker right? No, I'm joking, I'm not the best. BUT I'm understandable, right? That's important. You don't need to have fancy words to write a story. Use the words you know and if you want to improve your vocabulary, do that, with time. You don't need to be an native speaker in a day, it takes time. I'll link some good sites for vocabulary.
5. Read more fics
A good way to improve your vocabulary, read more fics. You clearly enjoy it, use it to improve yourself. Not only for vocabulary but for the plot, characterization, world-building, etc. Take in the things you want to remember, forget the rest.
6. Copy and paste
Maybe a bad thing to say, but copy and paste things you like. If there's a sentence in a fic or book you like, copy it. Of course, don't just paste it in your fic, but take inspiration out of it. Why do you like it so much? Why does it come over so good? Any words you want to use? Is the structure of the sentence appealing? Think about it, so you can improve your fic. Especially with areas you struggle with, take a look at other works.
7. Smut is scary, but don't be scared to try.
Is smut something you want to write? You don't have to, but if you want, don't be scared. As someone who wrote two smut scenes in her life, I'm struggling, but I'm trying. Take all the tips above this and just try. Things may go terribly wrong, but that's why you're practising.
8. Research research research!
Things like smut, fantasy, minority groups. You can't just write about it without any knowledge, research it. Articles, youtube videos, blogs on tumblr, etc. A simple kiss scene can be difficult if you have no knowledge about it, read people's first kiss stories or something like that. Want to try and write BDSM, read about it on a BDSM blog. Research the heck out of it.
9. Just to say it again. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.
Just to summarise, you're you, don't try to be someone else. You're writing style isn't worse than someone else's, it's just different. It makes your work recognisable, your text original, your hours of writing easier. Someone told me I can write young people really well, I owned it. Find what you're good at and own it.
Now that I have given you some important tips to start, I'll answer your question. How to go about writing fiction?
Everyone is different first of all, so please don't take my word for it. This is my routine, I just made up.
1. What do you want to write?
Is it your own idea, a prompt, a fic fest, an exchange?
2. What universe does take part in?
Does take place in the real world or a fantasy world? The past, present or future? Realistic or supernatural? Which country?
3. What is the goal?
Are they supposed to be lovers at the end? Do they have to defeat something/someone? A quest? Where do you want to end the story?
4. Where does it start?
Where does your story start? At the birth of your characters? In the future and you work your way back? In the middle? When your important characters meet each other for the first time?
5. What does it take to get from start to finish?
What happens in the story? What developments happen? Is it a road trip and your characters need to get closer, how do they do that?
6. What are some subplots you want to add?
Are there things that don't really matter for your goal, but you want to add? Friends to lovers but maybe they help someone's mom out one day.
7. Who are your characters?
Their personalities, appearances, quirks, relationships.
8. Who is the protagonist?
Who is the story about? Who is the main character?
9. In whose point of view is it?
Who is telling the story? You, the protagonist, the love interest, a random bystander, etc?
10. Outline.
Write down what you want to do with your story. Every scene needs to be written down. You can always change it of course.
11. Write, write and write.
Take all the tips and write.
I want to give you some links I always use. I will also recommend some blogs.
This tool lets you describe a concept and get back a list of words and phrases related to that concept: https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/
This article about body language: https://www.writerswrite.co.za/cheat-sheets-for-writing-body-language/
This tumblr post about body language: https://badassunicorn2016.tumblr.com/post/145725344712/writing-tip-june-4th
This article for alternatives for 'said': https://owlcation.com/humanities/400-Alternative-words-for-said
This tumblr post about writing smut: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/660062510531182592/smut-101-a-tutorial-for-beginners
This tumblr post about how to make smut sound sexy:https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/658604597068365824/making-smut-sound-sexy
This tumblr post about turning ideas into a story: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/659430707796557824/i-get-lots-of-ideas-for-stories-which-are-just
I have some blogs you can follow that talk about writing.
This podcast blog @roseanddaggerpodcast
This blog has a podcast too and some good fic recs @allwaswell16
These writing blogs @ficsex @writingquestionsanswered @bhficfest https://wordsnstuffblog.com/
Some veterans writers and also have some good fic recs @twopoppies @justalarryblog @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @hershelsue @lululawrence @pocketsunshineharry @fearlesslysweetcreature @indiaalphawhiskey
I hope I could help you a little. In some weird way I helped myself, hehe. I hope you can finally write the story you want. If you ever have any questions, just come by. I don't know if I can always help you, but I'll try!! Good luck!!
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richincolor · 3 years ago
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Reading Beyond the U.S.
Earlier this year I saw a thought-provoking video from a BookTuber named Saajid considering the question, "Is the book community American-centric?" I've been pondering things Saajid mentioned in the video for several months. On our blog we're definitely trying to read and recommend books that are from a wide variety of creators, but when I examine my personal reading history, the books are indeed mostly American-centric. Over the past few years, I've read a few titles in the list below, but I’m starting to make more of an effort to read books from other areas of the world.
One resource I found helpful in my search for titles is the Global Literature in Libraries Initiative. It led me to Here the Whole Time which is a book I really enjoyed. The author, Vitor Martins, lives in Brazil and the book was translated from Portuguese by Larissa Helena. I would love to see more translations getting attention. One of the organizations trying to make that happen is Project World Kid Lit. They have many helpful resources for finding, discussing, and encouraging the use of translated children's and YA literature.
Here are titles of books set in countries beyond the U.S. and the Global North with a few links to resources to find more. Some of the authors no longer live in the places where these books are set, but grew up there. If you have other titles to recommend or know of other resources for finding International titles, please let us know.
South Korea -  b, Book and Me by Kim Sagwa translated by Sunhee Jeong & Banned Book Club by Kim Hyun Sook, Ryan Estrada & Hyung-Ju Ko North Korea - Every Falling Star: The Story of How I Survived and Escaped North Korea* by Sungju Lee and Susan Elizabeth McClelland India - I was excited to find an article by Prasanna Sawant at The (Curious) Reader which traces the development of Indian YA literature and includes many titles. The site focuses on Indian lit, but also includes other world literature for all ages. Sri Lanka - Swimming in the Monsoon Sea* by Shyam Selvadurai Malaysia - Kampung Boy by Lat & The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf Burt Award for African Young Adult Literature (Lists from 2017-2018) Ghana - Aluta* by Adwoa Badoe Zimbabwe - Hope is Our Only Wing* by Rutendo Tavengerwei Ivory Coast - Aya: Life in Yop City Marguerite Abouet Bahamas - Learning to Breathe* by Janice Lynn Mather Central America - The Other Side: Stories of Central American Teen Refugees Who Dream of Crossing the Border* by Juan Pablo Villalobos Trinidad and Tobago - Dreams Beyond the Shore* by Tamika Gibson Argentina - Furia by Yamile Saied Méndez Dominican Republic - Before We Were Free by Julia Alvarez Brazil - Where We Go From Here* by Lucas Rocha & Here the Whole Time by Vitor Martins both translated by Larissa Helena Multi-national - Girlhood: Teens Around the World by Masuma Ahuja
*They're on my TBR, but I don't have enough knowledge about the titles to recommend them or not.
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