akamikazae

[akamikazae]

anemoia.

the melancholia of things which will never be. times in my life i yearn for but are now behind me, unrealized.

the fabulous, artistic life i hoped for. the dream of having a small group of consistent, loving friends who wanted to see a show with me, grab brunch with me, go on vacation with me. love me, support me, be in my presence.

the allure i will never possess; ability to drop jaws or turn heads in a room. to be as beautiful as i always hoped i would one day be. the kind of beauty that inspires awe and eventually lust. to have someone so head over heels in love with me they learn to play my body like a violin and luxuriate in the ability to make me feel.

to be uninhibited by fear, anxiety. to be self-possessed and assured.

travelling abroad, building a life in a country not my own. learning languages, assimilating into a world so unlike the one i grew up with but so perfectly right for the vibrant person i have become.

the thank you speech i have rehearsed since i was fourteen, updating periodically to better reflect the person i am. it's a speech for a person i will never be.

the ache of empty arms, knowing that for the rest of my life i will have to be happy for others who have what i can never know. that devastating vacancy; a dagger.

it's cruel, time. the way it steals from you in simply passing.

[akamikazae]

HELLOOO CONGRATULATIONS ON 300!! i cant believe its not more like it truly buggles my mind that its not more!! anyway finally now that i remember that i wanted to send a request: how about somehing with gojo and saneki? i thought of them a few days ago and thought yess.. maybe sweet? but if you wanna go another way that would also be fine! Just not sad, because that man has enough sad. Thank you for hanging out with me and us and your wonderful art <3

They are a headache together ❤︎✴︎˚｡

A smooch for being so kind as to request my girl 😘 and for thinkin about them😭 ~

[akamikazae]

once i beat the depression and the burnout and the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the low income and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability and the creative block and the capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see

[akamikazae]

(kofi request) the scene we had all been anticipating 💙

[akamikazae]

dabihawks with their kids 🌸

[akamikazae]

(kofi request) au where izuku has a moth quirk and loves katsuki's quirk 🐛

[akamikazae]

DARLING KAZ, I WISH TO PARTAKE IN THESE GAMES! WOULD YOU BE EVER SO KIND AS TO GIFT OUR DEAREST NISI WITH MORE SAYURI X GOJO!? THANK YOU!

Also, congrats!!! You have worked hard to earn all these followers, and even without them, you are truly a gift. Thank you for always being so kind! It's hard to be both a talented writer and artist, and you have managed to do both. I hope you continue to love what you do and that you never get the bad vibes. 🧡🧡🧡🧡

Q!! I am a puddle ~ you’re too kind 😭 💕🥹 ~ ty for giving me the excuse to draw these two again hehhee! A modern Satoyuri @konohamaru-sensei ❤︎₊⊹

⤹ Didn’t know if Sayuri has her scar in every universe so here’s one without it under the cut too ⤹

[akamikazae]

Hello, Kaz! CONGRATULATIONS on your follower milestone! I am hoping you might bless us with some KamiKashi??? And if you wanted to make it a little 🌶️🌶️🌶️ I don't think anyone would mind (but only if you want!)

I hope you get some fun requests and don't worry if you don't feel up for doing this one. Have a great day!

Thank you for feeding my delusions nonnie <33

[akamikazae]

i don't understand why it's bad for female characters to have feelings and depth and emotions that aren't always neat and clean like maybe she has unresolved feelings for someone maybe she is overly caring maybe she is a bit insane and i love her for it. why does she have to be the little sunshine girl or the badass bitch like what women do you know who are like this? fuck off

[akamikazae]

winter pfp ♡

[akamikazae]

Hello, Kaz! CONGRATULATIONS on your follower milestone! I am hoping you might bless us with some KamiKashi??? And if you wanted to make it a little 🌶️🌶️🌶️ I don't think anyone would mind (but only if you want!)

I hope you get some fun requests and don't worry if you don't feel up for doing this one. Have a great day!

Thank you for feeding my delusions nonnie <33

[akamikazae]

Dear kami <3

Lil Akami sketchy sketch for your 300 milestone?

Wasaahhhhahhahhajdjsk!! Snake mama!!! Thank you my dear so so much 😭🥹💗 you always make her so beautiful ~ you’re literally the sweetest <33 💐

[akamikazae]

These 🌹💐🌹💐💐🌸🌺🌹🌺🌷🌸💐🌺🌹🍫🌹💐🍫🍫🌹🌺🌸🌷🍫💐🌸💐🌺🌹🍫🌷🌷🌺🌸🌷🌺🌸🌺🌹🌹🌹🌷🌺🌺🌸🌺🌹🌹🌷💐🌸💐💐🌺🌹🌸💐🌸🌹🍫🍫🌺🌷🌹🍫🍫🍫 💐🌷r for my mutuals on this valentines day <3

[akamikazae]

THIS

[akamikazae]

Omg ! This is so sweet ~ thank you so much to whoever sent this ❤︎₊⊹ it really made my day !

𝐴 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 @akamikazae

𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒅! 💐

[akamikazae]

That old man should be grunting and sweating on top of me right now what the fuck

[akamikazae]

When your faves barely have any content