#despite the end of the world
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hi cielo !! hope you're enjoying your night !! here me out: apocalypse au megumi for your writing game👀🤲
in my minds eye (and ignoring current canon lol) he is sooo final girl coded 💗
curious what you think !!
ELLA!!!! omg i actually really do love an apocalypse au......i have one with maki actually! a wip i pick at every once and awhile but you're v right it can fit megumi well too!!! thank you for submitting!! <333
apocalypse au
megumi x reader
cw: none? sharing a sleeping bag for warmth hehe
∘₊✧───────────────────✧₊∘
the sky is a smoky, slate grey. it carries on forever—forever of nothingness. an empty sky. you feel as if the sun has been stolen from it.
you shiver hard, rubbing your hands together. winter is setting on faster than you'd thought it would. you're not as prepared as you'd hoped you'd be. but the weather doesn't care, the cold wind hat cuts across your face doesn't care.
your traveling companion eyes you a moment.
then megumi walks over, a blot of darkness against all this grey, and drops his coat over your shoulders.
your traveling companion is a strange man—strange and kind and standoffish and harsh and protective and gentle.
you shake your head to deny him, but he fastens it tighter around you.
"no—what about you? you'll freeze without it."
"so will you." he grunts and doesn't say another word, moving on. "we need to make it another few miles before we can set up camp tonight and i need you to keep moving."
"we'll trade off." you try to argue with him. "i can't let you go without it the rest of the day."
"i need to find you a better coat before the weather turns worse." he says.
it's always i need to do this, i should do this, i have to do this. he takes everything onto his shoulders, makes it his responsibility to see it all through. to keep you and he living and moving.
"we'll hit a town in the next few days, wont' we?" you ask. "i'm sure we can find one there."
he doesn't say another word. he presses on and you follow. he is wary of strangers on these travels and when one too many cross your paths, he pushes you behind him, glaring at anyone who looks for too long.
you cling to the back of his shirt like a child and stumble along.
when night falls, you can only keep the fire going for a small amount of time, both so you don't attract attention and because your supplies are cold and damp.
your sleeping bags are too thin for how cold the temperature begins to drop.
the forest is so silent. and so dark. and you're shivering so hard.
you roll over to see megumi's figure in the dark. his own tense shivering that he's trying to hide. you're wearing his coat to bed upon his instance.
you swallow hard.
"megumi," you say into the dark.
"hm?"
"i'm freezing," you whimper through the shivers. "i can't sleep."
he sighs, but instantly turns over in his sleeping bag, facing you, his face just a shadow. one that you know well.
"i know." he agrees softly, "we need to find more blankets, too—"
"can i come into your sleeping bag?" you ask and after everything, you don't have enough energy to be embarrassed. after the end of the world, you figure there isn't much else to lose now, anyways. you wish you felt embarrassed enough to blush, you wish you'd feel that prickling heat anywhere.
there isn't much to lose—maybe except him.
"i don't have to," you say quickly into his silence.
"no—we'll have to—" he swallows, "we'll probably have to get used to it over the winter."
"okay." you respond and begin to slip out of your own sleeping bag, the wind a brutal and cutting as it slips into the little warmth you'd gathered. you move to him in the dark, you bring your own sleeping bag to use as a second blanket over the two of you.
megumi shifts, sitting up a little on his elbow and trying to give you space to get in.
it isn't much.
with a lot of struggling and wriggling and little apologies and squirming, you manage to get in beside him.
flushed to him.
you're facing him which maybe you should—
"should i—" your hands are braced on his chest and you can hear his poor heart. hammering so hard, so nervous. it's almost funny—it almost makes you laugh—megumi, so stoic and resourceful and strong, suddenly nervous. "um." you say to cover it up, "is this comfortable for you?"
he nods quickly. "is it comfortable for you?" he asks.
you shift a little, twining your legs and getting more comfortable. tentatively, he lets his arms wrap around you. hands on as neutral places as they can be; your back, high on your waist.
"this okay?" you ask quietly.
again, he nods sharply.
"then i'm comfortable."
"okay. good."
you duck your head, hiding your smile against his chest. before you know it, a laugh escapes you.
"what?" he grinds out.
"i've never seen you falter in the most dangerous situations and this is what makes you nervous?"
"i'm not nerv—"
"i can feel your poor heart, megumi."
he snaps his mouth shut. he's silent for a moment and his heart, as if to prove a point, thuds and thuds and thuds.
"it's okay," you whisper, cuddling closer, "take a deep breath—i don't bite. it's just for warmth. like you said—we'll probably have to do this all winter."
he listens to you and tries to take a deep breath, which you find endlessly endearing, too.
you hide your smile again.
"right." he says tightly, his big hand shifting just barely over your hip, "just for warmth." he agrees stiffly.
you wrap your arms around him, too, tucking yourself in deep to the corners of his body. stealing his warmth and giving yours freely. the sky, once so full of nothing, opens wide with stark, twinkling stars.
"i feel warmer already."
#thank you for submitting friend!!#something a lil softer#despite the end of the world#cielo chats!#cielo plays!
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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It would be nice to hear from Wanda and Cosmo! It is kind of nice that you guys have two children like your own family does. Are you two still close to your siblings? Wanda has a sibling and Cosmo also have a sibling just like Timmy and Peri. Do they share some sibling stories to your children?
Wanda and Cosmo both reconnected with their siblings shortly after having Peri. Or, well. More like Blonda reentered their lives once she realized she had a baby nephew. Eventually, they slowly patched things up the more Blonda came to visit Peri.
Schnozmo was dragged back kicking and screaming. Mama Cosma refuses to have her sons live estranged lives now that she has a grandchild in the picture. Schnozmo doesn't know how to handle children, but he's doing his best.
Peri likes Schnozmo because he makes silly noises and funny stories. But he prefers Blonda's theatrics much more and loves playing Dress Up with her.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop cosmo#fop wanda#fop peri#fop blonda#fop schnozmo#cosmo#wanda#peri#blonda#schnozmo#asks#avarus of the west#itty bitties fop au#ive decided that worms on strings are real fairy creatures and theyre used like fox coats in fairy world. lots of implications for this.#you know how kids seem to flock towards the least capable adult for some reason and cling onto them despite the adult trying to avoid them?#peri and schnozmo <3#schnozmo taught peri how to give a convincing lie and how to be charismatic enough to avoid trouble#peri and blonda are like 2 peas in a pod!#peri's very receptive to her dramatic flairs and eccentrics. blonda loves spending lots of her money into getting him elaborate outfits#blonda helped peri with his opening lines for when he met his first godchild. she refined schnozmo's charisma in Peri#MEANWHILE ON TIMMYS END#timmy already has opinions about blonda and schnozmo#theyre neither good nor bad but he cares not for drama and doesn't like that schnozmo's a chronic liar#but he does like that he has caring relatives now! they show up to his celebrations and gives him thoughtful gifts and advice. its nice.#timmy has never told peri about schnozmo's past as a conartist. he knows that schnozmo's doing his best to fix himself for the better#so hes not going to ruin that by telling peri and others about his past
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a little experiment
#rainworld#looks to the moon#five pebbles#rainworld downpour#rainworld hunter#rainworld survivor#rainworld monk#rain world#i know i said i think that while monk has parallels with pebbles moon logically would have survivor#but im starting to enjoy the thought of moon having parallels with hunter as both are doomed to fall despite their best efforts#both terribly wanting to live despite being doomed#i see hunter as this energetic thing that thrives through the thrill of a life it knows deep down is going to be short#something brute forcing its way through its illness just to live a little longer#it and moon are made of the same stuff... neither wanted this fate so they struggle until the end against it
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As someone who hasn’t played the twst game very long I just got into it. I wanted to know about events? Like do some not come back? For example do the Masquerade, Port, Beanfest, Ghost bride, starsending events. Do those come back? I hear people say how they missed their chance to get this great card like as if it won’t ever come back and then someone on Reddit will say something like “Oh beanfest happened twice on the JP server” so which events have gotten reruns so far? I would ask about more recent ones like the Easter one but idk if it’s too recent to know if get rerun or if they clarify that it won’t come back? I was really sad to find out about the Silk outfits I missed out on when they visit the scalding sands. I also was really sad to find out i missed out on the anniversary cards because I didn’t play the game yet. I wish they would add the anniversary cards to the store at least…I want to be apart of the celebration :’)
I was looking in the shop and saw all the different groovy items you need to groovify event cards and this question just came to me so I had the urge to ask someone…
welcome to Twst! 🎉 it is a bit confusing to jump right into, especially because. they're not always consistent. :') it sounds like you're probably playing on Eng, which I'm less familiar with, but I'll try based on what I know! (I also don't always remember everything, so somebody please correct me if I get something wrong!)
first, I do recommend the Twst wiki.gg, which seems to stay pretty up-to-date on events for both the Eng and JP versions! it's a great resource for when you want to see if/when an event ran or rerun. in general, I believe that the Eng version only does reruns that have already happened in JP, so if JP has a rerun that hasn't happened yet in Eng, they should get it too eventually! on the other hand, I don't think either version has ever rerun an event more than once. :( BUT this doesn't mean you're entirely out of luck, because:
anniversary events (March for JP, January for Eng) will usually offer a chance to get both an older event SSR and an older birthday SSR in the shop, via buying a special item with exchange currency (which you get by doing pulls on the anniversary gacha, I think you need to do 100-150 pulls for enough currency to buy the item to exchange for an SSR). only SSRs though, and you're limited to one each (one birthday, one event). so if there's an SSR you REALLY want and it's already had its rerun, it's probably worth planning to save up some keys for!
as for actual reruns, they seem to come in a few different flavors:
straight-up rerun, no changes or extra cards
unchanged event story, with a new SSR of a character who wasn't in the story (e.g. Applepom Jamil)
slightly rewritten event story that includes a new SSR (e.g. Ghost Marriage, they don't seem to do this anymore though)
completely new event story that acts as either a sequel or alternate-universe version of the original (e.g. Beans Day part 2, Fairy Gala IF) (though this is pretty rare and might actually count as a separate event, rather than a rerun?)
Master Chef/Culinary Crucible events have never gotten reruns (though they might start now that we've finally gotten through all the characters in JP, time will tell). birthday and Halloween events will also rerun the previous version in addition to the new one -- for instance, Eng should be getting a Glorious Masquerade rerun this year, followed by the new (Playful Land) Halloween event. and a birthday campaign will, in addition to the new card, have a separate pickup for the previous year's birthday card.
for the specific ones you mentioned -- I think Beanfest, Ghost Bride, Fireworks, and Starsending have already rerun in Eng, so those most likely will not be rerun again (at least not anytime soon). Masquerade should be coming back for you guys this Halloween, and Portfest JUST got its rerun in JP, so that should be coming too sometime in the future! (no new SSR though, alas, I was really hoping for a little marching band sailor boy Leona. 😔) the Easter event is the White Rabbit Fest, right? that one hasn't gotten a rerun in JP yet either, so it's still on the table!
all that said, it's entirely possible they'll change the rules at some point and start doing more reruns/chances to get older event cards, especially since the game's been going on for a few years now and some cards haven't been available for a pretty long time! there's only one card that they said was for-realsies limited-time-only and wouldn't ever be available again -- Platinum Grim, since he was to celebrate the 100th anniversary -- so. there's always a little bit of hope for everything else. :D (fairy gala Ortho PLEASE COME BACK SOB)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#(probably somewhere in there)#(i have lost track of everything i'm so sorry)#joseimuke games are serious business#we did also get a rerun pickup of some of the episode 7 story cards#so if you missed those you should get another chance at them too!#sometimes though despite your best efforts the gacha just will NOT cooperate#between masquerade malleus and fairy gala ortho i sometimes think this game is mocking me#me through clenched teeth and white-knuckled hands: it's fine it's not the end of the world if i don't get the fancy png#have you SEEN how fancy these pngs are though. god.#also this reminded me that it's the 27th in japan and i gotta get my free keys thank you leona#speaking of leona when/if we do finally get a white rabbit rerun i know who i'm rooting for as a new ssr#(i mean i do also very much want a froofy fluffy bunny malleus but just PICTURE leona)#i've said it before and i'll say it again: leona is always the funniest option for anything#i want him in every single event just because he would be SO annoyed#ghost marriage tuxedo leona. jewel-encrusted tapis rouge leona. BIG FLUFFY APPLEPOM LEONA.#each with the same expression of an angry wet cat#what a beautiful mental image
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#in the game files the last image of hunter's ascension ending - the one with nsh - is named “embrace”#as a side note#i typically as i like to interpret slugcats as...#intelligent of course as they can draw and sign in downpour lore...#but in a different way from humans. in a different way from iterators.#that's just how i like to interpret them though - if you like to interpret slugcats in a more anthropomorphized/humanized fashion#i'm glad for you and i'm glad you're having fun too :)#anyways i wrote this comic the way i did because i felt like it was the best and most succinct way#to get the message i was trying to express across#so hunter's thoughts are pretty straightforwardly written despite the more complex concepts behind them#i mean they are also made and raised by an iterator so that could come into play#maybe i could have thought of a different way but eh i already drew the comic#rain world#rw hunter#no significant harassment#flickerdoodles#comic#long post#rw spoilers#art
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I don't think that the majority of people being mad on the internet actually hate s4. I think that they're grieving something that they held very close to their hearts and are in the anger stage of the process. It'll be interesting to see in the next few months what the attitude around the season comes to be.
#everyone is talking about fivela#literally no one is talking about the explanations we got for the world#very few people are talking about how they had to sacrifice themselves to stop the end of the timelines for good#no one is talking about the new characters that we met#or the potential for the umbrellas to be alive in a different way in the new universe#since we saw the marigolds blooming in the end credits scene with magic around them#no one is talking about lila and diego being fucking miserable#or ray walking out???#or that klaus actually suffered the most this season from the shortness of the episodes#like he just jumps off the wagon the first chance he gets?#claire is barely a person despite being brought up constantly in s3#jennifer is a non entity too#but all people want to talk about is fivela#i haven't even seen anyone talk about how fucking cool diego and viktor's powers are in this season#tua#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#tua s4#tua spoilers
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come with us. james, come with me.
#pirates of the caribbean#at world's end#elizabeth swann#james norrington#potcedit#disneyedit#filmedit#perioddramaedit#*userbolt#gif: potc#norribeth#notes#that little look from over his shoulder MAN#i cannot think about this too long#my guy. where was half this romance hero prerogative when you were actually proposing#they talk circles around each other the whole trilogy despite being able to read the other very well#this is the ONE time one calls the other out for lying#oh i hate it here i CANNOT think about this too long
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Happy 17 years of TWEWY!! Take Joshneku as an offer
#twewy#the world ends with you#joshua twewy#yoshiya kiryu#neku sakuraba#joshneku#my art#draws#this is an old piece for a joshneku zine that sadly didn't go ahead :( but i had sm fun#despite struggling with composition
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this got longer than i meant it to so im putting it under the cut
merlin and morgana watching arthur and gwen be The Couple in camelot. they are heartbroken, jealous, and tired- no, exhausted. they've arthur and gwen for years and fell madly and hopelessly in love with them (respectively). however, they care for the both of them and if they’re happy together then merlin and morgana will simply bite their tongue. besides, its not like their feelings are reciprocated so there’s no use in stirring up trouble.
but the pain eats away at them until they are shadows of their previous selves. merlin is quiet and demure while morgana’s lighthearted snark is growing harsher and harsher. it comes to a head when morgana makes a scathing remark to merlin about his feelings. before, her comments had been directed at others, arthur more often than not, but never toward merlin. they were in the same boat so why would morgana target him?
but she did and things get a little tense. then merlin finds a spell and shows morgana and the two of them, utterly exhausted and desperate for an end to their agony, agree to take part in the spell together. merlin concocts the potion and they both down it. the next day, merlin and morgana are as happy as can be. it was a startling 180° from the morose and downtrodden duo they had been not even twelve hours before to the happy, on cloud nine, nothing is wrong with the world people that hummed as they danced around the castle
merlin and morgana exclaim to one another how freeing it is to not feel such a heavy burden of unrequited love. they mention how easy it is to breath. how they haven’t been this happy and carefree in years. of course, like everything else, there comes a price
to be rid of feelings like love, the opposite feeling would take it’s place. a lot of people believe the opposite of love to be hate, but it is in fact indifference. it starts off slow where gwen makes inside jokes that morgana cant remember. then it moves to them having trouble remembering arthur and gwen’s names. then their memories begin to rewrite themselves to remove arthur and gwen from their minds. eventually, they roam the halls, arm in arm, without even a glance at either arthur or gwen bc they cant find it in themselves to care about these two random strangers. who would?
arthur and gwen go to gaius who has already noted their odd behaviors and has been looking into it. the rest of the knights join them in gaius’s chambers bc they had also noticed how weird they were acting. lancelot is quiet and brooding until arthur pushes him to confess what he knows.
lancelot tells them how he fell for gwen the first time he had come to camelot. she flushes and arthur seems upset but lancelot continues. he tells them all how despite, or maybe because of, his love for gwen, he let her go to be with arthur bc she was happy with him. he hesitates and gwen encourages him. lancelot mentally apologizes to his two magical friends and spills the beans. he explains how morgana has loved gwen for years and how merlin has loved arthur for years. the three of them had bonded after arthur and gwen were engaged about how much it hurt watching the person you love be happy with someone else.
slowly, he pulls out a vial filled with glittering, dark red liquid - dark like blood. he hands it to gaius and explains how they had come to him a few days ago with that and said how it would cure his pain. it would wash away his love for gwen so he wasn’t crushed under the weight of it. he says he never took it bc he didn’t think it was right but merlin and morgana had already taken it. he wasn’t sure what the side effects were going to be until he saw them that afternoon.
gaius finds what the potion is and explains how it did in fact wash away their feelings of love for arthur and gwen and with the absence of love, indifference took hold. he wasn’t sure if their missing memories could be attributed to the indifference or if the spell took to wiping the memories to prevent the love from regrowing.
arthur and gwen are quiet, guilty and upset that their closest friends were going thru such turmoil and they weren’t aware at all. leon clears his throat and asks how to cure them. gaius grimaces and read the book a bit more before responding that a counter potion would do the trick, it would neutralize the previous potion by bringing back their memories and feelings. arthur is quick to agree but gaius interrupts that once the counter potion has been administered, everything will come back at once. everything.
they question him and he explains that every memory, every word spoken, every touch, and every feeling from the past 7+ years will run through them at the same time. considering they’ve been dealing with unreciprocated love and watching the one they love be with someone else for the past couple of years, it wouldn’t be that farfetched to assume that they would look and sound like dying animals. suffice to say, it wouldn’t be pretty.
in spite of the guilt and fear in arthur, he insists that they have to bring merlin and morgana back. he doesn’t want to put them in pain but he cant just let them wipe themselves away and continue on with his life as if he didn’t just lose his best friend and sister. they spike merlin and morgana’s wine with the potion and, as gaius predicted, merlin and morgana both drop to the floor, screaming and crying in pain, pleading with anyone to make it stop and take the pain away.
gwen hides her tears in elyan’s shoulder, arthur uses his long taught skill of being an Emotionless Prick of a Prince his father taught him to not cry. the tears stay in his eyes and do not fall. a few minutes later, merlin and morgana are both catatonic on the ground, limp and staring at nothing. their breathing is slow, so slow they almost appeared dead.
lancelot and gwaine help merlin up and take him to his chambers while leon and percival do the same for morgana. no one mentions what happened and merlin and morgana stay locked in their rooms for two days before being able to get up out of bed. they aren’t back to their shadow selves from two weeks prior, nor are they the happy go lucky duo from the past few days. instead, they are slow and quiet and barely even there. they’re barely even people anymore. simply going through the motions.
#bbc merlin#angst#so much angst#unrequited love#merthur#morgwen#gwencelot#arwen#despite the fact that they made the potions to bring merlin and morgana back#they still lost them in the end#perhaps there is a happy ending in sight#but im not putting it here bc this is for the ANGST#magic spells and potions#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#morgana pendragon#gwen guinevere#lancelot du lac#arthur and gwen’s relationship being so tense and unsure now#before theyw ere as happy as could be and completely unashamed about showing off their love#now that they know their best friends - two of the most important people in the world to them#are in pain simply because of their affections for each other…..they cant bring themselves to do it#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#headcanon#head canon#hc
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what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?
It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:
During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.
Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.
I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:
I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.
The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.
This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.
The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.
I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.
#ivan u fucked up little guy.#also okay i just wanna clear this up#i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits#but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi”#I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED.#i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3#the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him#but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated#there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is#this isn't me condoning his actions#but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die#plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires#especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile)#thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict#“sure and unsure at the same time”#there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him#his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway#uh i need to shut up i think#anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk.#in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him.#SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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To the ‘themes I am picking up on in Veilguard’ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:
— the world has changed and can never be as it was again.
— I have been changed and can never be who I was again.
— in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.
And I… may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit:
if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...
folks… I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma — about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy — and threat — of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret won’t let him go or he won’t let go of it. which means that even though on the surface it’s Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolf’s despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.
The world will change again and again and so will you — BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all we’ll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just can’t accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because it’s where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because that’s the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved — and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasn’t backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone else’s problem too lol. It’s varric and solas’ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work — and the added idea of ‘what if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each other’. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens — and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and that’s the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. It’s why some of the writing clumsiness on top can’t hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. It’s DA2 all over again that way for me personally — I forgive this story for what it isn’t and couldn’t be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.
(For my fellow TLT heads out there — you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. It’s about… the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)
#I told you all I was going to be extremely myself about this. I suppose we all hoped I was joking. even while knowing I was not#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age meta#solas#varric tethras#anyway. at the end of the day and despite everything varric won the 'I told you so chuckles' rights over solas in this philosophical debate#and isn't that enough in a way. I think so. the world and the story of the world is his legacy. people get to keep telling it#I want to say so much about how each of the companions play into the different aspects of this theme but I should uh#probably finish the game properly first haha#guys I literally opened my eyes this morning and wrote out most of this before even getting up. the pressure cooker brain is back#the lone brain cell in here boileth over with dragon age feels & thoughts#very little sends me deranged quite like this series I'm afraid. I'm just still so relieved that even if this story isn't for everyone.#it is for me. thank god. I needed it
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I get the feeling that Adeline is the most likely to get therapy.
...She'll probably need it too... (Pausing the fun times for something dreadfully serious) -
"Pieces"
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[Apologies AU Masterpost] [Noir's Field Trip]
#Apologies AU#Kirby#King Dedede#Magolor#Adeleine#Ribbon Kirby#Noir (human-form DMS)#Dark Matter Swordsman#Going to go ahead and treat this one as a mainline comic!#Read my own title as “Pisces” for a second which made me laugh because despite his birthday being a few days later...#...I cosmologically align Noir with the Pisces sign (Maybe Earth shifted? Or the New World has slightly different dates?)#But the two fish tied together / dual natures / transformation / end of a cycle are all very Noir-thematically speaking#cw: angst#Dess Art Post#One of the bigger tragedies is that Noir - foolish boy that he was - thought he could spare Adeleine the pain of his death#...All he did was delay it...#In other (lighter) news I'm going to need a third master post to keep all this new content I've been drawing XD#Will try to get that done in time with The Dess Cut#So much to do! Responses to get too as well! Busy Dess XD
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Love learning new things just like the other day someone said that, apparently, in order to lean on Miles' shoulder Gwen had to use extra strength and concentration cuz it's already hard to sit upside down and she made it even more difficult by balancing her weight enough to lean her upper body towards another person and it made me think of how she didn't hold hands with him which was way easier to do in that position but she felt so bad that she rejected him that she said "fuck gravity he needs to know that I care. I already fell for him I might as well fall down too"
#love gwen's policy being like i can't be with you but i just want you to know that you mean the world to me#even if i never say that and if you don't think so you do#honestly this world is so messed up that it's hard to open up even when you want to even when she could in itsv unlike here#she didn't because it wasn't so easy#but i love that she didn't cuz her entire character was making friends again not making boyfriends#and i was happy to see that despite the chemistry and being so adorable they remained friends#and they knew each other for few days it was too quick#and his uncle just died#and peter was right there lol they couldn't kiss in front of him not the first time at least#so they should get married in the end of btsv it's only fair#gwen stacy#miles morales#gwiles#ghostflower#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#spiderverse
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bro that really haunts my narrative
#w101#w101 fandom#wizard101#wizard101 fandom#the old one#sal art#desperately need to sit down and lay out my feelings abt how much the old one's presence is utterly crucial to arc 4 despite the fact#that (spoilers) he dies like 20 minutes into it#like obviously its most strongly felt in lemuria he is haunting that shit like a ghost in a house#but even up to (BIG SPOILERS) the end of wallaru and everything that happens there#w101 spoilers#just in case#love when media hypes a guy up and then they immediately get murked#working caption was 'haha noo dont haunt the narrative ur so sexy' based on that one meme#mostly this was just me fuckin around w divide layers. fun effect#oh yeah world icons courtesy of the wiki. i was not redrawing those things
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need a hardened respectful fujo to sit down with james mcavoy and discuss cherik with him insteada this peanut gallery cause if i have to hear people laugh about a gay ship one more time i just might eat rocks
#xmen#cherik#snap chats#get him OUT OF THERE PLEASE#im glad he still provided like. GENUINE quick thoughts and highlighted their love and vulnerability and them 'bridging a gap'#i WILL be taking his comment on them cuddling and running to my tablet with it later but thats not the point#there's a point that maybe just the absurdity of the thought of Evil Villain Magneto and Good Guy Professor X being in love is the comedy#i however will not be trusting like that. the REALNESS of it all IS Evil Villain Magneto and Good Guy Professor X being in love#DESPITE their rivalry and differences because in the end they still want the same thing and still love each other#the vulnerability these men can find within each other despite feeling so isolated from the world around them...#guys theyre making me sick amidst my rant i gotta stop thinking about them before i go off#point is if they just let james lock in for like half an hour id trust him to elaborate on that well#he's already done so a bit in other interviews please just let him submit a thesis vlaekjvkaelj#he been the headrunner of cherik since first class dropped id trust his thoughts with my life really#ok bye im gonna cope witht e fact i got class in like two hours#at least speak no evil comes out tomorrow ..... might watch it with my family ..... lol ....
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