#despite my impulse to stick with it just to learn what i can and THEN stop it before it tanks my gpa

[skrunksthatwunk]

heard a rumor from a high school teacher of mine that the professor of that sci-fi fantasy class (whose curriculum sounds cool but whose late work and attendance policies are extremely harsh and frankly inaccessible as hell) Does That with that policies so a bunch of people drop the class and she only has to grade like 5 ppl's papers. which may not be true at all but MAN.

[imfinereallyy]

Tattooed Steve, pt. 2

Part 1 here

Soooo I ended up writing more tattooed Steve. I couldn’t resist. I also realized that Eddie would be the first person to find out but like…other than Robin. But I didn’t count her because Steve and Robin are the same person honestly at this point. Anyway I hope you like it! Pt. 1 is linked above.

—-

It’s two weeks after Vecna when he gets his first one. It’s unexpected, impulsive even, but Steve needs to feel something. He has just spent the past week and half waiting for Eddie to wake up, staring at his pale form, wishing away the anxiety with every beep, beep, beep that comes from the heart monitor. Begging for this stupid, stupid man to wake up.

He isn’t really sure why he wanted Eddie to wake up. Sure the ruggrats love him, and there is the general sense of not wanting any innocent person to die on his watch, but Steve knows deep down it’s about something else. Or more like the potential of something else. He tries not to think about it too hard.

So during that first week and half of watching a comatose Eddie, Steve takes his time studying the man. Learning every curve, and every scar. And eventually, every visible tattoo he can see. They are interesting, not all of them good, but all very Eddie. It somehow makes them better. Some of them are messed up from the bat bites (ironically the bat tattoos remain untouched), but they add to his aesthetic if Steve is being honest with himself.

When Eddie wakes up after that week and a half, groggy and confused (especially towards the fact that Harrington is practically holding vigil at his bedside), the first thing Steve says to him is “Oh thank god you’re awake.” The second is “What the hell were you thinking?” Before Eddie proceeds to pass out again.

Later, when all of the doctors and family and friends have had their time with him, the third thing Steve says to Eddie is, “Tell me about your tattoos.”

And despite the fact half of them are mangled, Steve doesn’t think he has ever seen anyone light up that bright in his life. And when Eddie starts waving his hands in excitement, Steve can’t help but think that he’s never been so close to the sun before.

So, two weeks after Vecna, Steve makes a decision. Or again, if he’s being honest, an impulse. He finds old books in the library about tattoos (which aren’t very helpful), and finds zines hidden between the pages (much more helpful) on stick and pokes.

Steve shows up with supplies from Melvad’s (for a probably very dangerous tattoo kit) at Robin’s doorstep. “Robs, I need you to give me a tattoo.” Then she proceeds to spit all of her morning tea on him.

After a lot of shouting “Did you hit your head again dingus? Oh my god did you get into another fight? Are you having a break down? SPEAK STEVE.”

And a lot of convincing, “Robin I’m fine. No I’m not having a breakdown. Robs, Robbie, Birdie, I swear nothing happen. I just want to do it.”

The end up on Robin’s bathroom floor (because of course all important things happen on the bathroom floor), with a look of deep concentration on her face. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this, with only twenty minutes from a zine you smuggled out of Hawkins Library. I can’t believe they even have zines.”

“I don’t think they were aware of it honestly.” Steve snorts. His shirt was off, a patch hair already shaved off right where is heart is placed.

“Do you know what you want?” Robin asks, head tilted.

“No, not really. I was hoping you would help.”

Robin hums, like she’s resisting the urge to point out how impulsive he’s being. Like she knows he needs to do this. “Tell me what made you decide to want one.”

So Steve does. He tell her about waiting for Eddie to wake up. Wondering why Eddie got them. Wanting to own himself again, to actually like something new on his body. Put something there he had control of. His curiosity of if it were painful. His interest behind the stories of Eddies tattoos. How Eddie lit up so bright when asked. Wanting to feel like that. Wanting to be close to the sun again.

Robin mercifully didn’t look too deeply (or at least didn’t push on it) about the interest in Eddie himself. “Okay, I think I got it. Just…hold still.”

Twenty minutes later, after three passes with pen ink and a needle, Robin disinfects his tattoo. Before she covers up, she asks “Do you want to see it?”

Steve nods his head eagerly. The tattoo had painful, more painful than he expected, but he found it sort of grounding. Something to keep him aware of himself, almost as if he was able to grasp parts of himself he wasn’t conscious of before.

When Steve stands up to look in the mirror, there he sees off center on his chest, a wonky little sun. It was something a preschooler could have drawn, but it was one of the most beautiful things Steve had ever seen, and it was made by one of the most important people in his life.

Robin says shyly at Steve’s speechless state, “You said you wanted to be close to the sun again.”

Steve scoops Robin up in an instant, ignoring the stinging both on the outside and inside of his chest. “Thank you Birdie.” Which translates, you are the only person I ever need etched in me forever.

“Always, Stevie.” Which means, you’re never getting rid of me anyway.

They pull away with tearful smiles, and silent promises. Steve can start to feel maybe not much like his old self, but somewhere on the way to who he truly is.

Then Robin says, “Okay, me next.”

————

okay I wasn’t sure if really anyone wanted more, or if I was going to do it but I actually really enjoyed where this ended up. Also I apologize for any tense changes. I quite literally type this on my phone and say screw it, without looking it over. Let me know if you want more maybe? Send me prompts even. Thanks for reading :)

[detective-dick-gumshoes-pot-room]

Reasons Why Akanidai is Perfect 😌

Making my long overdo ship essay because my friend finally coerced me.

Reason 1: Character compatibility

Akane is an incredibly energetic character who lacks a lot of emotional regulation and impulse control. Nekomaru is one of the only characters who can match her energy, but he's also a manager by trade. So, he winds up being the perfect fit to work with Akane's energy. They also tend to match each other's humor.

Where they really shine is Nekomaru's ability to be the only male character whom Akane doesn't feel the need to "Sell Herself" too. Which is something she has the tendency to do thanks to trauma. Nekomaru is one of the least perverted characters I would argue, and thus doesn't really give Akane the impression he's trying to get something out of her. Because he's not, his only motivation is to help Akane out in the long run. For someone like Akane, who has never been taken care of, that's a huge deal.

Reason 2: Their Canon Relationship

Akane has a very traumatic history. Without getting too far into it, she's pretty much been abused by every man (and people in general tbh) in her life up until this point. She doesn't trust people all the way. She doesn't bother learning names half the time because she's so used to people dying around her.

[That reflects in her time spent with Hajime. She forgets his name constantly in the freetime events. And even when they're working together (chapter 2) she's on edge around the guy. Preparing herself for the worst. ]

But not with Nekomaru. The two will spar anytime Akane runs into him. She never (to my knowledge) makes the same comments towards Nekomaru that she would to thr other guys. She feels actually safe about him. And that's further supportive by the whole "It" stick between the two. While the whole scene is played up for laughs as an innuendo, it's a big deal that Akane feels comfortable enough to let Nekomaru give her massages. Especially since she has trauma around that kind of touch specifically.

Akane is also very admiring of Nekomaru. Usually, when she's referring to him in dialog, it's comments about how he's the strongest guy she's ever seen. About how he motivates her and gets her excited to spar just from walking by. Which is incredibly sweet.

Meanwhile, for Nekomaru, Akane gives him a purpose. She's an athlete on the island who needs help in more ways than one, so he immediately takes responsibility over her. Taking care of her physical well-being, helping her train and develop her talents properly (something she never really learned to do because her skills were self-taught for survival). To the point where he insists he has to be the one to reign Akane in because he knows he's the only one who's going to get her to calm down.

So naturally, the two get closer and closer. Until Nekomaru steps in and takes the rocket hit for Akane. Something he does with absolutely no hesitance.

And boy, does Akane really shine in both instances where Nekomaru "dies". During the first incident, she's in a lot of shock and denial. Akane knows how bad she messed up and feels pretty guilty over it. But despite how quick she usually is to accept death, she doesn't here. She continues to insist that Nekomaru can't be taken down by something like that. She literally can't imagine a scenario where he dies in such a way (heavy denial and admiration at play). But Nekomaru? Assuming he's about to die, the only thing he can think of is to tell Akane to live.

When Nekomaru comes back as a robot, there's this air of awkwardness between them. Akane, for maybe one of the first times, feels incredibly guilty about what happened (despite her denial). Seeing Nekomaru in a completely new body must have been quite the shock. Knowing how badly hurt he was. But she buckles down and commits to paying him back for everything he's done for her.

During Chapter 4, however, when Nekomaru dies for real, Akane cries for the first (real time) in the game. Straight up wails when she finds out. And immediately goes to revenge as her only way to deal with the pain. Pain that other characters recognize as Chiaki encourages us to give Akane a moment alone with Nekomaru to mourn properly. Not to mention Gundham going out of his way to tell her that Nekomaru accepted his challenge and fought until the end (incredibly important for her to hear).

No one is really sure how Akane will react to this news, but they all acknowledge how much it hurts her. Which is saying a lot since Akane is constantly putting up a front to prevent looking weak.

Just looking at what the game tells us about the characters, Akane and Nekomaru are extremely close. Their relationship is built on a trust that's rare for Akane to give out. Nekomaru learns her boundaries and figures out ways to keep her mind off the situation, but more than that, he's constantly dedicated to keeping Akane safe. He takes two rocket shots for her and ultimately helps free the entire group from the funhouse.

Two incredibly close characters whose development in the story is tied into each other.

Reason 3: Despair Arc

This is a shorter note, but @monokuma-apologist pointed it out to me, and it is very important I think.

In the dreaded episode two of Despair arc, when Akane and Nekomaru feel the effects of the spiked soup, instead of going nuts like the rest of their classmates,

Nekomaru is just concerned about Akane at first, and the second she tells him to not touch her- He doesn't. Man respects her boundaries, and they both just end up staring at each other quietly for the rest of the time. Very much attracted, but very respectful still. It's so nice 🙂

Conclusion

Akane and Nekomaru make the perfect pair together. Akane has been hurt. Nekomaru knows that and adapts immediately. Akane trusts and opens up with Nekomaru on a level she just doesn't with the other characters. He helps her find her footing in the world and helps pull her from her survival instincts. And Akane gives Nekomaru motivation and purpose in an awful situation. As long as Akane is around, Nekomaru works his hardest to keep everyone's spirits light and make sure people are kept safe. As long as he's doing that, Akane can feel safe too.

But just on a basic chemistry level, it's hard to beat out a pair who match each other's energy so well. They're both loud, into roughhousing, can be a little dense, but both try their best to contribute. There's no real judgment between them. Just real, genuine affection and friendship.

And let's be real, the writers totally ship it. 😚

[Footnote: Me and my friend have the personal headcanon that the reason Nekomaru let's lose and trains so hard with Akane is because of his heart condition. It's always held him back, so once he gets put into a killing game where everyday could be his last he decides "fuck it" and tears up the beach with Akane because why not have some fun?]

[nightmare-the-cat]

The Stick Beckers!

They all have transparent pupils that you can see all the way through their heads-but you cannot see these holes on the other side

Now it’s time for my individual headcannons with these spiffy designs I’ve taken two days to make under the cut! Going from oldest to youngest, we have:

victim

He’s about 17

Looked the MOST like Alan upon his creation, and has strayed the farthest in terms of changing his looks thanks to Mitsi (before and after her demise)

He’s the kind of loser who thinks sweaters mixed with fingerless gloves looks cool

He started wearing sweaters after Mitsi disappeared, as he always feels cold without her :(

He also wears sweaters to hide how scrawny he really is compared to most sticks

He is NOT a very good socializer, being the most introverted out of his siblings. He may have made the company, but Mitsi was always meant to lead it, leading to some bad decisions in later hiring processes after her death as he isn’t the best judge of character(I.e. that stick that PUNCHED YELLOW IN THE FACE as he was being dragged off)

He DESPISES The Dark Lord and The Chosen One almost as much as he does Alan, but is coldly apathetic towards The Second Coming, as he’s not yet personally done anything wrong towards him

He thinks everything that has gone horribly wrong in his life has been because of Alan in some way (and he’s absolutely fucking correct, but not in the ways he thinks he is)

Has self worth issues that got worse when he realized all of his siblings have special powers and he doesn’t

The only person he still trusts is Agent

He used to have glasses, but switched out to contacts with a zoom and enhance features built in

The Chosen One

He’s about 16

He is a certified dumbass compared any of his other siblings (and most sticks in general) but not in a goofy way, more of an uneducated way

He doesn’t know how to fucking read, AT ALL

He’s completely oblivious to a lot of things that don’t involve fighting

Cannot socialize properly to save his life

He only looks serious because he’s legally blind and can’t see for shit outside of basic shapes and depth. There’s a reason he’s missed a lot with those laser eyes

He dresses plainly in a t-shirt and jeans because he could not give less of a fuck

Currently the closest in appearance to Alan, a title that previously was held by victim

He’s only a loner because he doesn’t know how to fit in anywhere, and knows he shouldn’t bother trying due to all the horrible shit he did with Dark

VERY impulsive

He is neutral about Alan. He has not yet forgiven his creator, but has learned to let the past go

He has a good heart underneath all his detachment and idiocy

The Dark Lord

Same age as Chosen despite being made later. Don’t ask me why, I just like them twinning, though they have different “birth” days

Certified Evil Genius

After being saved by Chosen, his command code switched from “Destroy The Chosen One” to just “Destroy” and he went batshit insane from it

(Personal theory) His defeat at the hands of Second didn’t kill him, but obliterated his command code instead and heavily damaged him. He’s been in hiding sorting his shit out about what he is without that command code to guide him

Despite everything, Chosen really was his best friend and brother, so it REALLY hurt him when Chosen turned against him, and post Showdown he’s been thinking about how Cho was right

He hates Alan MORE now without the “Destroy” command code because of how badly his initial command fucked him up mentally

He is frightened of Second now-he’d jump several feet in the air if that boy suddenly showed up next to him

His outfit is psudeo armor-fabric

He’s very smart, but it’s a toss up between himself and victim for who’s the most intelligent out of his siblings

He is the one who ACTUALLY killed Mitsi, but he doesn’t remember her face or the faces of anyone else he’s killed (Agent thinks Chosen is responsible because he couldn’t see Dark through all the fire)

He knew Chosen was pulling away near the end but willingly ignore the signs

Doesn’t really know what to do with his life now-or if he even deserves to be alive

The Second Coming

He’s 11 or 12, haven’t decided on which, with the Color Gang being a year older than him

He’s the smallest out of all his friends AND his siblings

Artsy autistic kid-loves animating and drawing with all his heart

LOVES Alan, that’s his dad now. He’s forgiven Alan for what he initially did to him, and if he could give his dad a hug, he would

He sometimes wonders what being human is like

Unconsciously will increase his attack stat if genuinely angered

Has permanent bed-head

Sleepy boy

The two most important things in the world to him are his friends and Alan-with animating being a close third

Has no clue he has any siblings-didn’t even draw the connection between himself and Chosen

He was “born” with square “Alan” glasses, but didn’t need them, so he gave them to Yellow (who’s blinder than Chosen lol)

He’s living his best life in the PC-he’s very happy there

He wears a hoodie because it’s super comfy, he sleeps in that thing

If a timer is set, he will pass out before thirty seconds have ticked down on the clock

Has genuinely contemplated murder during Green’s middle of the night raves

Can outplay anyone on the electric guitar, and even play two riffs at the same time, but cannot yet make any noise himself (aside from typical breathing sounds/snoring)

Chosen scares him somewhat

The concept of him having godlike powers scares him even more-he just wants to hang out with his friends and be normal :(

He still has nightmares about Dark

His worst fear is losing those he cares about

He loves hugs

He likes it when Purple comes to play as it evens out the number of sticks for team games and nobody has to ref or be left out

Has been banned from participating in any build battles or computations due to getting way too competitive with Green and his perfectionism often driving him to borderline cheating (I can’t make things look perfect with just blocks!!!!)

Don’t ask him to watch anything on a fire, it WILL burn

He’s often scared more than he’s willing to show

He WILL freak out if a cursor “selects” him alone-Alan never did it again after the first time he “spoke”

The most altruistic, compassionate, and loving out of his siblings

His full name is “The Second Coming, The Chosen One’s Return Becker” (he added the Becker)

[moonlight-tmd]

AIGHT, INFO DUMP TIME-

This is a list of ideas/headcanons of the tfa fandom that crossed my mind, piled into one giant mess. Enjoy.

those are things that i consider canon in my works. (outside of AUs)

PLEASE READ- THE LIST KEEPS BEING UPDATED.

IMPORTANT FOR ALL NSFW WORKS: Interfacing and Sparklings. My version is different from the usual sexual spike/valve thing. C’mon they’re ALIENS. I have it all written out in this post.

Bee has a golden voice when singing, he’s anxious about it tho. [the whole headcanon explained] After some time and events this scenario happens and Bee gets more comfortable around others.

Bee is basically a stuntman when skating. Casual or on battlefield, his actions are purely impulsive. Sometimes he’s lucky and pulls off that sick move... sometimes he ends up in medbay for many long hours. Here’s an example.

Bee is a good actor, he can lie on the spot and get away with it... most of the time. He’s also good at hiding his emotions. Fake it till you make it... or at least before Prowl comes knocking at your door.

Bee has 3 modes; Chaotic/Feral Gremlin, Kind Child and on rare occasion; Lazy Ferret. When he dates someone, there comes a 4th one; Lovestruck Idiot.

Bee is the early bird and wakes up way before the rest of the Autobots. He’s made a little routine of making the morning oil for the rest of the team. It’s the only thing he can “cook” really.

Sari keeps the weird healing powers the key had when she upgrades herself. Ratchet helps her figure it out and teaches her cybertronian first aid.

Ratchet knows human curses and will use them when things are going down.

Sari and Bee are the young siblings™. Prowl plays the role of the babysitter, keeping those two out of trouble.

Bee sometimes vents to Prowl about topics he wouldn’t talk about with anyone. They have an unspoken agreement to never do anything to mess with the other when it comes to these meetings.

Prowl is accidentally creepy, he will eavesdrop or spy on someone unintentionally. He doesn’t mean it, but his curiosity can get the best of him sometimes. Here’s a list of things he eavesdropped so far.

Optimus is a kindsparked leader, he’ll think of the person’s wellbeing first instead of “is this okay with the law?”

Bulkhead sometimes helps the architects with building stuff, he likes the art aspect and the job is easy cuz he can carry like few tons of materials at once.

Random!Blitz will eat various things that are definitely not meant to be eaten. Glow sticks, scraps, paint and even some organic things. He also chews on anything that he find appealing. Somehow, he has yet to end up in medbay for doing that.

Blitzwing likes to sculpt, he’ll carve in wood, stone, ice and metal.

Bee likes to set up harmless traps to mess with everyone, his time repairing space bridges taught him how to construct things. He’s quite crafty.

Longarm(Shockwave) actually kinda likes Bee. The bot is optimistic, kind and funny. He likes to hang out with the scout and have some fun, but other than that he focuses on his duties as a traitor Prime.

Lugnut is Lugnut, he’s basically in love with Megs. Megs wants nothing to do with him except for work.

Autobots and Decepticons are not separate species of transformers like i often see. They just have different builds and coding. A transformer who’s not aligned with any of the factions doesn’t have any specific behavior attached, it all depends on what they learn as a sparkling. If they choose a faction, an additional coding is added to their system which might alter their behavior slightly.

Since time units are very confusing in the fandom i decided to settle on this: Nanoklik (1 second), Klik (1 minute), Joor (1 hour), (Solar/Lunar)Cycle (day/night), Decacycle (week), Orbital Cycle (month), Stellar cycle (1 year). Then it all goes like normal; decades, centuries, millennia. Sometimes i will use other transformer time terms when i don’t know what else to use.

Ratchet, despite being a medic, dismissed his own small damages. He says he will take care of them later but never does, which later comes back as a bigger problem. Like a trembling wheel, dimmed light or glitched comm piece. He’s learned to go fix himself when reminded about them or look for Sari.

Prowl has a bad habit of nightly snacking, he meditates all day long and sometimes forgets to refuel. Bad habit but he’s not really keen on stopping.

Shockwave/Longarm is the tech folk, the one who manages files and all, but he’s also somewhat of a medic. He knows how to patch system errors/viruses as well as fix some external damages.

Megatron actually remembers Optimus’ name, he just chooses to avoid using it because he has a grudge against the Prime for kinda offlining him.

Prowl doesn’t die in my timelines/AUs. Nor does Blurr. Nobody does(permanently). I just can’t let them.

Claws and sharp dentae are a basic upgrade you get when becoming Decepticon. Based on the frame type, there are few exceptions, example: Blitzwing has both sharp teeth and claws, but Lugnut has only sharp teeth cuz his servos are not compatible with the claws. Same with Shockwave but he's only got claws.

Bee was raised in the orphanage, he never brought it up to anyone. The only one to know might be the one he’d date. Bulkhead knows little about it but not the whole story. [See this post]

Since Shockwave has 2 forms, he has something similar to Blitzwing’s multiple personalities thing- it’s not that intense, but there is a weird switch in his mind that he can activate on command. He is more laid back and cheery when he’s Longarm. When he’s Shockwave he’s very calm and focused- It’s his peak performance form, so to say. A weird thing that happens with Longarm is that he’ll be focused and calm with everyone but the second he, Bee and Bulkhead are alone- it’s time for wild fun.

Everyone thinks Random is the cannibal. He’s not, Icy is the one enjoying devouring a fellow mech. He keeps quiet about it, Random is just hyping it up like he usually does with everything.

Blackarachnia may be a mad scientist but she would help someone out if they begged her enough. She’d do everything to fix a bot- but then use them for her own goals. Every “transaction” you make with her will have the consequences... well, unless she’s “feeling generous”- which is like a miracle and you’ve probably made her feel bad if she does this.

Bumblebee loves to dress up. He loves human clothes, he loves cosmetic upgrades, he likes the temporary paint that is make up. He’ll never admit or show it though. He feels like if he does, he’s gonna be judged and everyone’s gonna stop liking him. Dressing up makes him feel like he’s truly pretty and amazing. He doesn’t want that feeling crushed if others find it weird and tell him to stop.

Bee dresses up for Halloween with Sari. Despite what i said in the previous point, he allows himself to dress up in cool costumes- usually the classics like a vampire or ghost. Rarely anything cute tho- those costumes are mostly saved for his time alone. 

Bee has a job that earns him human money- in some weird chain of events he met a guy with a shop that sells old and damaged stuff. He offered to pay Bee money to bring him old stuff from garbage yards/trash stations that may be restored and sold. So now he has a fun and productive way of earning money to buy new games. He goes treasure hunting at least once a week.

Bumblebee and Prowl are almost the same height; motorbikes are small, even when compared to tiny cars. Prowl is only a foot or two taller than Bee. He is very thin in build, Bee is more bulky and wide. Bee is also physically stronger than Prowl- Prowl is always using tactics and momentum and such to gain advantage over stronger enemies.

Bee is a natural climber- being the short bot, it’s obvious he has to climb to reach that shelf. His servos have rough pads on them to help him stick to surfaces better. It’s especially effective with earth’s buildings since they’re made of rough concrete.

Bee sometimes naps in weird places. His favorite place to nap are Bulkheads subspace.

Bee will learn anything about any game just to win. He has a self-claimed title “Game King”. One time he found out about Prowl liking chess- he spend the next few cycles on research and perfecting his skill with online chess. The “Game King” title has been made valid by everyone after Prowl got obliterated in chess by Bee.

Prowl has to temporarily move out of his room in winter because there is no roof. He has a back-up room that doubles as his garden for when the snow starts piling up and he can’t recharge in it. He also has to recharge in the back-up room when there is a heavy downpour and his room floods.

Each Team Prime member has their own love language/way of showing affection/care. [Here i listed them]

At some point in the story, Bee and Bulkhead would become Amicas. Not Conjunxes(spouses)- they are Amicas(long-term best friend/family). [this and this]

I imagine Bumblebee would be a great parent- sure he’s reckless most of the time but when it comes to Sparklings or baby creatures- something in his mind switches and he goes full ‘Mama Bear mode’. [exaples: this and this]

Optimus is a great cook, he especially loves to bake. Bee is into mixology- he makes morning oil for everyone after all. Prowl cooks with organic ingredients for Sari, he wants her to eat more healthy so he takes it upon himself to make sure she does. [anker post]

Bee loves racing, in AU or not. He’ll go up to anyone and challenge them to a race. The winner gets the respect of being faster. Blitzwing is Bee’s go-to race rival, they have fun together and mess around on some occasion. [anker post]

Bee got crayons from Bulkhead. Sometimes he will draw things- he drew a picture for their first christmas and everyone loves it, it’s hanging in the main room now.

Here you have Halloween and Christmas traditions with the group cuz i’m too lazy to write an entire point for it.

Bumblebee, Sari and Bulkhead are The Gamer Trio. They always play multiplayer games together when they’re not busy. Sometimes Prowl joins them for specific games. [anker post]

Team Prime + Sari have preferred food flavors n such. [anker post]

Team Prime + Sari having trouble sleeping/recharging and doing stuff instead of that. Nightly habits list. [anker post]

Bee has ADHD, you can’t convince me otherwise. He has also been diagnosed with depression later on. Oh, also Prowl is on autism spectrum.  [Bee+Prowl diagnosis] [Bee’s full diagnosis post]

Bee sometimes talks in his sleep. It’s easy to tell if he’s having a nightmare or not. He’s just murmuring what is happening in his dream, it’s not every night but at least once a month it happens. Funny enough you could have a conversation with him like this. [anker post]

Ratchet volunteers as medical assistance in Detroit. The messed up USA healthcare system is beyond what Cybertron had.

Bee goes mute when he’s dealing with trauma. He uses ASL to communicate when that happens. [anker post]

There are differences between Seeker and Grounder customs and behaviors. [anker post]

Different frame types have classification and subclassification. [anker post]

Bee used to work as a bartender and knows how to handle high grade, he’s got the highest limit out of everyone on the team. Optimus loves baking in his spare time and Prowl makes human food for Sari. [anker post]

Frame sensor and EM field headcanon. [anker post]

if there’s more i come up with, i will update this post. thank you for reading this text wall.

[prettyrealm]

interview series: doja cat edition

July 27th 2023

doja cat’s current energy:

she’s feeling very affectionate and nurturing right now (i’m assuming towards her relationship/partner) she’s also not taking any sort or criticism nor is she interested in any sort of self reflection at the moment. she feeling herself for sure & feels accepted by the people that matter most to her and that’s what she’s focusing on. people thinking they can criticize her is causing her to be super rebellious and she feels as if she’s claiming personal her authority with the way she’s acting. she feels as if everyone and everything is working against her and out to get her. it’s like she’s right to feel “controlled” but at this point she’s fighting for fighting’s sake. like even if you’re agreeing with her, you’re doing it wrong. she’s trusting her impulses and acting on them and she refuses to let anyone throw her back into self doubt. if im being honest, it feels a bit manic. i think she’s being quite patient in her relationship as well and things aren’t actually going as well as she hoped. she sees the man in her life right now as very careless and irresponsible, not very dependable and even a bit disappointing but she wants to stick by him despite this. i think she’s also still dealing with betrayal from a friend.

does doja cat really hate her music from hot pink and planet her?

no, she doesn’t actually hate her music from these albums. i think she’s just tired of it and is only saying she hates it because everyone else likes it so much. contrarian vibe, but she knows it’s good. i think it’s more about the unhappy emotions she attaches to the music from that time.

is doja cat acting up to get her label to drop her because she doesn't like her contract?

nope.

how does doja cat feel about her fans right now?

she feels the need to disrupt them and get things shaking. it’s like she thinks “my real ones will stay regardless” almost like she’s purging out the fakes. she feels very strongly about them (genuinely love to hatred) and knows they gave her power and she can do whatever she wants with it now (including cuss them out) she feels they need to learn to be their own people and that they’re too superficial and can’t see beyond the surface. she does feel safe for the most part though and as if she can see who’s truly devoted and a fan of her for (what she thinks) are the right reasons

was doja cat ever bullied for being black/biracial?

yes, she definitely was.

did doja cat’s mother contribute to her issues with blackness?

yes, I believe so. not on purpose or in a malicious way or anything though. it seems she just genuinely didn’t know how to raise a biracial/black child, but i think tried her best? there was A LOT of struggle here though.

how does doja cat feel about j.cyrus right now?

she feels he will overcome everything people are throwing at him and she feels he’s quite confident. she wants them to come out of this strong. she feels he deserves a new start.

how does doja cat feel about fans reaction to her dating j.cyrus?

she feels miserable and a bit devastated and i think that may be what caused her to adopt this whole “idgaf” attitude about the whole thing. but in reality, i think she may even have shed tears over this. she knows this is attached to her forever and may even feel insecure in her friendships because of it. she knows people are looking at her like she’s a terrible person.

how does doja cat feel about the allegations against j.cyrus?

i think she thinks he’s been honest and faithful and is choosing to trust in him during this time. i don’t think she even believes in the allegations, she’s choosing to be naive, thoughtless & rash when it comes to this and honestly, straight up stupid. she’s upset about the allegations overall though.

[george-rr-binks]

Ok. I never do this. I quit keeping up with politics over a year ago and live in blissful ignorance. I know who I'm voting for. I don't need the rest of it. But despite my best efforts, major updates make their way to my frame of knowledge. So fuck it.

*picks up dusty politics hat off equally dusty shelf, pauses, inhales, blows the dust off, cautiously places on head*

The more I think about this Kamala Harris thing, the more I like it.

Take off the "everything is bad" glasses for just a moment and look at what's happening.

Fact: the White House doesn't do a n y t h i n g impulsively, spontaneously, or without a PR strategy behind it. There are rooms full of people whose entire job is "how does this help Democrats" and "how does this look to the public."

I'm saying this was a strategy. Everything. Of course the speech, but the date, the timing of it.

The DNC asks Biden to step aside after the debate and rightly so. But if he does, it looks weak, like he's stepping down and living out the next six months as a lame duck.

So what do they do? They wait. After the point that it looks like he's stepping down because the DNC asked him to, after the RNC. After republicans spend millions of dollars campaigning against Biden.

Then he announces he's stepping aside, on his own terms. Takes a beat. And right before the DNC, throws everything behind Kamala Harris, who up to this point, has been doing nothing. They rip the sheet off like a god damn superweapon and say go.

I wanted Kamala Harris to be president before I learned people like Bernie Sanders existed. She's progressive, she's charismatic, she's historic. And now she has the power of the White House behind her getting her message out.

And you know what? Her message doesn't suck. They have three months to campaign against this. She doesn't need to run attack ads, 45 himself is his own attack ad. But Kamala gets to trot out her earliest vision of a presidency before the wheel of politics and 24-hour "news" grinds it into powder.

Everything republicans have has gone into defeating Joe Biden. Now they have to hastily get counter-messaging out and hope it sticks. Now 45 has to face a prosecutor in the debates. Now he's on the back foot. Harris can rally the country on her energy and charisma alone. I think this is a good thing. This feels like the first legitimate ray of hope I've felt in some time.

Maybe it's not too late. Harris 2024

*takes hat off and places back on the shelf where it belongs*

[trulysummersprivate]

Entry no.2 Everyday is a School Day

I've seen some wild things over the years. Being mutant and attending a school for mutants does that for you. You see shapeshifters, telekinesis, people who can turn into beasts, people who can kill with one touch, people with claws in their skin, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw today.

The day started very normal, kids watching TV, eating breakfast, chatting when one of the kids, we'll call her Pink Roses, decides to prank her...boyfriend? They're a couple I think. Or really good friends. I need to do more research. Anyway she decides it's a good idea to prank him or rather his slime friend on his shoulder helps her prank him and suddenly he's turned into those blue cat things from that movie Avatar. It was uncanny! One of the kids, let's call her Purple Shell, screamed like a banshee alerting all of us to what had happened and I could not believe my eyes. This kid had just transformed into a big blue cat!

And according to what I've been told, that's not normal! This kid, we'll call him Blueberry? Seems fitting. Blueberry, has multiple kinds of mutation or mutates in his body. Like someone or something just shoved several different X Genes into his DNA and waited to see what happened. From what I've heard he hosts a symbiote, has lycanthropic tendencies and the same gamma radiation impulses as a certain green fella we all know. Three different abilities!

They teach you in school that finding solutions to unknown problems is like throwing spaghetti at a wall. Some of it might slide off and land in a mess on the ground but if it's got enough sauce on it and it's fresh enough, it might stick to the wall until you can clean it up. This feels like someone just catapulted spaghetti at a wall despite the mess, hurling it over and over again. It's fascinating.

Despite all my training and experience with mutants, you can still learn something new every day. The kid's fine by the way, he stayed a cat the rest of the day. It was kind of cute and his Dad reassured him he would be okay. At least I think that's his Dad? Or just a really kind Uncle? Again, I need to get some files on my desk so I can figure out who's who properly in this place. Maybe I'll have to request them. But the kid is okay. That's all for now.

Now I really want some spaghetti.

Tags: @rickb-chaos @purpleprincessonfyre @marvelsfavoriteuncle @therealdaydreamstark @ask-missparker @ask-starrk @askstevella @sci-fi-lexcon @luna-d-marsh @ethan-lensherr @wizzzardofoz @thechoooooosenone @jackiequick @gcthvile @cherrysft @blueboirick @meiramel @elzabeth-stark @missstrawbs2001

[seasaltmemories]

Mars Review/Analysis

Mars was a series I had vaguely known about for a while. I've seen the iconic statue kissing scene, the male lead ranked as one of ppl's faves problematic love interests, and even had a mutual who talked about reading the series once a year. However it wasn't until a discussion on the portrayal of sex and other mature topics in shoujo that I figured it might be useful for me to read such a foundational work

Cue me reading the first chapter and breathlessly telling people it alone would count as the one of the best of shoujo. I binged the rest of the 15 volume series in a week, and through so many familiar ups and downs, it still felt like something special.

CW: Suicide, Sexual Abuse, Homophobia, Transphobia

Summary time:

Kira, a shy high school student, lives only for her art. Rei, An arrogant, rebellious and violent playboy, wears his delinquency like a badge of honor. They are exact opposites in every way, but when Kira sees Rei kissing a statue of Mars, she overcomes her fears and asks him to model for her. And, to everyone's surprise, Rei agrees.

On the surface it seems just like a typical good girl/bad boy story, and it is hard to say it isn't, but so much of what makes the story work is the details. Their meet cute is subdued, nothing but an excuse to get them talking again, but as they talk more and more, their chemistry just shines through. I don't know if it just fits my specific tastes, but it really is the stuff of girlhood dreams. Rei has this easy-going charm that is hard to look away from, and you can see Kira start to fall fast and hard despite herself, and by the end of volume 1, they've shared their first kiss and are more or less an item for the rest of the series

It is a pretty fast courtship for most romance stories, but the fact we skip the pining to get straight to an established relationship means we get this sort of easy physical affection that is so refreshing. Frankly I would enjoyed just watching them be absolutely adorable, but as we uncover both their dark pasts, they take on this young, restless "us vs. the world" love I can't resist

I mention before how a lot of Rei's appeal lies in his laid-back nature, rather than brood in a corner, he's outgoing and popular but the same carefree nature means he doesn't put much stock in social convention or consider the consequences his poor impulse control can get him in. It's a much more thought-out portrayal of a "bad boy" even as the dramatic details of his backstory build up. Considering his mother's early death, his estrangement from his father, and the fact he saw his twin brother commit suicide in front of him, it is clear his ease with everything is more bc of a general apathy, even towards his own wellbeing

Kira we learned started the series still recovering from the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, as her relationship develops with Rei, she has to process a lot of trauma she still has surrounding her sexuality. It is clear her introverted, passive nature is not just a means of making her more relatable/easier to project onto, and that the real Kira has only started to come back out of her shell

I'd be lying if I acted like these issues were explored in nuanced, subtle ways, but even through the melodrama there was something real to it all that captured me. Like I usually struggle to latch onto most contemporary romances where the biggest obstacles couples face are their willingness to go ahead an make the first move. But these are real problems that real ppl face, even if it is heavily dramatized, and so their determination to stick together and make a place where they can be happy and safe just tugs at my heartstrings, even the breakneck pacing from one arc to the next, felt true to the whirlwind that is young adulthood. Did Fuyumi Souryo forget a plot thread when Rei's dream of becoming a pro racer fell away from the plot for like ten volumes? Maybe, but in life you're usually not really following a laid out plan and are more trying to survive from one crisis to the next while discovering patches of stability along the way

The melodrama really started to test my limits with the introduction of the antagonist, Masao. In contrast to Rei and Kira's detailed history of violence, Masao's just plain evil and attracted to the both of them for extra "creepiness" It's not just tasteless, it's boring, his entire arc nearly killed my interest in the series

Thankfully he only shows up for one arc in the middle and then briefly at the end to stir up more trouble. He's more bearable in those chapters thanks to the fact he's reflecting how much our main leads has grown, but his existence is painfully utilitarian, which applies to most of the rest of the cast, clearly only existing to highlight our main duo better. This also leads to some transphobia and insensitive portrayals of suicide.

Rei's mother and twin also suffer similar "secretly evil all along" reveals as Masao, which I do think cheapen Rei's struggle. Frankly we don't get enough time to unpack either character's history to really understand them, but even if the narrative doesn't suggest it outright, it is hard to ignore the feeling their deaths aren't so tragic bc of their flaws. Even so, they bothered me less than Masao for some reason. For all her violent tendencies, Rei's mother is still given sympathy that Masao never gets. And even though Sei's suicide note expresses a lot of misanthropy and sadism, to me there were enough lines almost suggesting he feared those tendencies within him and was also struggling in his own way. Perhaps their underdeveloped nature all helps keep either plot point form having to overstay their welcome

And that's the thing, despite all the dark and shocking plot twists I casually mentioned, what really stands out as I look back on the series, is the strong love Rei and Kira share. Going back to the plot summary, what you see is what you get. If you aren't on board with the series after volume 1, then it probably isn't for you. But few pieces of media have ever sold me on two character's love for each other as hard as this did. I mentioned before that I tend to need my media to acknowledge tragedy before I can accept their hope, but even when Mars isn't pulling out its soap opera cliffhangers, I always wanted to see how Rei and Kira would come together to support each other through their next stages of life.

[assistedbytherats]

Things I feel the consistent and inexplicable urge to collect on walks.

Bottle caps. I have a jar in my room (which I’ve had for a while and took with me when I moved) full of bottle caps. I thought I would have filled it by now but a surprising number can fit in only half the space in that jar. I’m walking, I see a metal bottle cap on the street, I pick it up and pocket it. It goes in the jar. Why? You tell me, I’ve got no clue.

Good looking sticks. Not to use for any particular purpose, but I’ve got a pile of sticks on my desk from yesterday alone where I spontaneously spent an hour walking through a park picking up Good Sticks.

Feathers. I grew up being told not to touch random feathers (likely fear of Vague Wild Animal Disease), so I know this isn’t a learned habit from childhood. But lately I’ve felt urged to pick up good looking feathers. They’re on my altar. They’re on my wall. Most of them are in a bag, on my desk, with the sticks. I did not want them for a purpose, only for a strange New whim.

Writing materials/stationary. Especially on campus, I see a broken pencil on the ground? Take that shit home with me. A pen left on a desk for an hour? Mine now.

Can i stress again feathers. Every feather I see is in my pocket instantly. Despite how much I don’t like the idea of feathers in my pockets (what if they get damaged??) something in my heart that I cannot understand wants nothing more than for me to take home every fucking feather I see while walking around.

Cool looking rocks, especially near water where they’ve gone all smooth? I take those things and by the time I’m done I’ve got a damn pile of em. Doesn’t happen often because I’m not usually wandering lakeside but when I am, I return with pockets heavy with smooth stones and will become another small mountain on my desk.

KEYCHAINS KEYCHAINS KEYCHAINS KEYCH-

This isn’t really a “see on the ground while walking” thing but it’s in the same vein- envelopes. I’ve got a freezer bag in my desk drawer of envelopes (all of them used, opened, and cardless, mind you.) it’s just something about an envelope with an address on it, torn open (usually by me.) why do I keep these? I couldn’t tell you.

Also I feel the urge to take people’s mail (i live in a space where packages are left in a hallway for people to pick up and every time I walk through there i at least want to look at em all. Rest assured i haven’t actually STOLEN anyone else’s mail and I don’t intend to, although it’s tempting.

The corvid urge to take little souvenirs as I make my morning commute is insane, theres an unnamed magpie in my brain and I’m not impulse shaming it, I’m just impulse… inquiring why.

[theimperialnuisance]

Character info for ffxiv write 2023!

Here is the cast of oc's that will appear in this year's challenge! :3 Kien is always my main focus but I have two new alts that I'd love to introduce/write for because I don't know when to stop making alts in this game without further ado!

Kien Eilath (Main Wol) Half Keeper, Half Seeker Miqo'te from Meracydia (raised in a Keeper tribe)

Closed off but kind, cautious sometimes, impulsive the next, learning to know what it's like to be loved and cared for by others. Will do anything to protect his friends and loved ones. Despite his title as Warrior of Light, he can be a bit aloof and awkward at times but his heart is in the right place and he can really be a goofball when he's around his found family. It's rare to see him angry, but never rare to see him practically asleep on his feet from working too much. Main class: Gunbreaker, dabbles in Bard Profession: Scion of the Seventh Dawn, Warrior of Light

N'noah Wiloh (alt oc, non-wol, doesn't have the echo) Seeker of the Sun Miqo'te from Ul'dah *Is the only oc who shares the same universe as Kien*

Mischievous, a bit of a flirt, will spare no expense to get the information she wants and needs, and will probably talk your ear off if you let her. She isn't one to shy away from a challenge and she isn't afraid to cheat her way out of a situation. While she seems very charismatic and open, there's actually a lot she doesn't like to share for the purpose of just moving on to brighter things. 1/3rd of the Red-head brigade and no, Bastian isn't the leader. Main class: Dancer, dabbles in Monk Profession: Immortal Flames private, former Scion of the Seventh Dawn

Syren Ligeia (alt wol) Half-Elezen, Half-Veena Viera from Ishgard

Hot-tempered and quiet, fiercely loyal, will most likely give you a nod or a one-worded answer half the time. Bluntness and sarcasm are his moods of choice. Despite the fact he looks disinterested, he's actually very observant and driven, and if you stick around long enough, more of his soft-hearted personality will shine through. Main class: Currently a Dragoon but will be Dark Knight by mid-Heavensward Profession: Former Temple Knight, currently the Warrior of Light and a Scion of the Seventh Dawn (though you'd never know as he doesn't like to share that. Bijou is the Warrior of Light, thank you very much)

Ciel Fyth (alt oc, non-wol, has the echo) Rava Viera from the Golmore Jungle

A literal ball of sunshine, (think golden retriever puppy) whose energy knows no bounds. He's extremely loyal, and kind, and will definitely talk your ear off about how great his older brother Malek is. He has a driving need to ensure the happiness of those around him because it's the only thing that keeps him from falling apart from what he had to endure in his past. Main class: White Mage Profession: Traveling healer, soon to be a Scion who accompanies the Warrior of Light with his brother

Atticus Wolfram (alt oc, non-wol, doesn't have the echo) Half-Elezen, Half-Garlean from Garlemald (with very little connection with aether)

Charismatic, Sarcastic, quick-witted, and will definitely flirt with anyone to get his way ("is it really manipulation if you make them feel good about themselves?") He tends to never give the full story as he doesn't like to get close to anyone but all he really wants is to find a place where he can belong. Known as the Raven to some, or an all-around wanted thief to the rest. Oh, and don't piss off his voidsent. (The last guy who did, well, it didn't end well) Main class: Parades as a Gunbreaker to his clients but only a few know that he's a very skilled Reaper Profession: Wandering body-guard/fighter for higher

[sam-the-friendly-ghost]

Sam's chats with the void: The "stupid" character

I always find myself disliking a show when it has "the stupid one" trope in it. Take 2012 and Mikey for example. Yes he's funny but he's the joke. The show treats him as stupid to the point where he doesn't get any other character trait. Does he care about anything? No. Because he's just stupid.

I think this trope personally hurts me because I am neurodivergent, and most traits that make a character "the stupid one" are neurodivergent ones. Seeing someone who just needs help with their disability get abandoned by the show because they're only there to be stupid really messes with my feelings. I've had plenty of people call me stupid for things I am still learning to manage despite the signs that I'm definitely not stupid.

Whenever I see this trope show up I give them a personality and feelings in my head. I usually let them be smart, but unable to show it for one reason or another (usually because the other characters are blind to it). This does show that a stupid character isn't necessarily bad, there just has to be a reason for them to be seen that way.

Keyword. Seen, not be. They can't be stupid, just seen as such.

Naruto is a great example of how this trope can work.

Naruto is a goofball who causes trouble. He doesn't pay attention in class, and needs to be told all kinds of common knowledge. He also cannot perform the clone jitsu to become genin. At first glance he's just a stupid character, until Iruka explains his past.

Iruka was exactly like Naruto as a child, but he also knows why. He was lonely and wanted to make friends. He wanted the family he didn't have so he did the only thing he could think to do as a child. His story mirrors and therefore explains Naruto's.

By the time we get the explanation though, we already know Naruto isn't stupid though. He can perform a harder ninjistu called the shadow clone jitsu easily. Later we learn he had a disadvantage because he was welding an overwhelming amount of chakra, and since making shadowclone take so much chakra it was far easier for him to perform. Naruto isn't stupid, he just needed to try something else. He also gets better over time, and learns how to use his strengths and compensate for his weaknesses. He might never perform the clone jitsu, and in that way he could still be called stupid, but he IS so much more than his ability to perform that jitsu. Rock lee can't perform ninjistu or genjitsu but he is amazing at taijitsu and becomes one of the best ninja ever. Almost every single character has a major weakness that could hold them back, and does until they get creative and find their own solution.

This brings me back to Mikey. How can he be more than the stupid one. He is shown to have great intuition and empathy, use it. Maybe he keeps pulling enemies over to the side of good. He is fast and an natural at a lot of stuff including smoke bombs. Make him a scout that keeps sneaking around Shredders bedroom or something. He's creative beyond compare. Let him help his brothers problem solve when they get stuck, even throwing out the wackiest ideas until something sticks. All of these ideas could be funny in their own right, and show Mikey as having strengths. When he struggles with impulse have him slowly learn to manage that. He can want to press a button, but ask Donnie what it does first, or even say "don't let me near that or I will push the buttons."

And the last rule is DO NOT MAKE THE CHARACTERS FEELINGS A JOKE! If you ever see a character say anything that feels like it should be ge focus of at least an episode and instead they get made a joke and that ideas ignored, congrats, you found the stupid one, and the worst part of the trope.

"stupid" characters often say once or twice "it feels like you guys don't like me," or something similar. Unlike characters the show actually cares about though, "stupid" characters will run into something, trip, or anything that makes the line "funny".

"Stop calling me clumsy!" Character cries before tripping down a flight of stairs.

"I'm not stupid!" Character yells. "Your even as dumb as a- a.. uhm. A super computer!"

"It's time for you to see that I'm capable!" They yell as they head out to complete a task. Cut to them pleading for help, or needing a rescue.

Anyways that's my rant about this trope. Please stop using it badly, nobody likes it. At best somebody dislikes the character. Most of the time you hurt the people who relate to them.

Bye!

[badnew2005]

mac + the record by boygenius becos i love doing big posts like this :D

without you without them. found family of All Time. charmacden and the gang as a whole. the thousand billion different forms the gang has taken. it’s always them. mac growing up so neglected and lonely, desperately craving any mimicry of family and love he could find. and here comes this messy smelly kid who’s actually a couple months older than him but looks years younger. cat <3 mac 4eva . spending christmas throwing rocks at trains. it’s us against the world as long as we’ve got eachother we’ll be fine. and then come these rich bratty twins who act like they’re so much better than you but you know you and charlie are the closest thing they’ve ever seen to god. i want to hear your story and be apart of it. the gang unpicking their pasts unpicking what makes them Them. learning what you don’t Have to talk about, how to make life bearable. “a love letter to the mortifying ordeal of being known, written in a pandemic world that violently reminded us how much we need each other”…��� that’s them baby!!!

20$. i’m stuck how longs the chevy been on cinderblocks as macden mac gaining/taking back independence and mac driving vs dennis’ sense of control being seen within the range rover. but just. oh this is So mac. it’s a bad idea and i’m all about it. long live project badass. whatever the idiots he loves suggests he’s there !!! i want to know more macden road trips. driving charlie around philly. driving to visit den in college. i cant summarise it well yet further than. ITS SO MAC !!!!! song about the “wanting to poke the bear impulse” hello mac. nice to see you here. having so much passion being ride or die for whatever ur friends want picking a side and dying on it no questioning. the subtle breakdown of that devotion. bickering. i Know you have twenty dollars. macden living together for Twenty Years. ran out of gas out of time out of money. the loves still there but they’re twenty years older and it can’t sustain itself running on nothing for this long. wanting a bit more. wanting to run back in time

emily i’m sorry. the cars !!!! can be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac. waking up inside a dream full of screeching tires and fire. the storm. the apartment burning down. all the wars mac and dennis are each fighting inside their heads that are keeping them from eachother. (again macden road trips i know you exist i want to hear more about you) suburbs maybe. and i feel myself becoming someone only you could want. that’s them. macden and the gang. someone only you could love. i’m sorry i just make it up as i go along. again both mac pov ab den and den pov ab mac. it’s their first time being this person coming out and everything that comes with being Them. sure they’re forty they should know better but. it’s their first time. i’m not ready! we could run away be other people. macden most comfortable acting as other people hiding behind fake identities. i’m sorry.

true blue. similarly could be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac but i’m sticking with mac pov. knowing dennis so well behind his lies and walls. loving him so passionately despite everything. the first two verses are just So let me tell you about dennis. den running away to college to north dakota fucking around to find out who he is calling mac confessing everything and nothing. and i wasn’t surprised! AND IT FEELS GOOD TO BE KNOWN SO WELL !!!!! I CANT HIDE FROM YOU LIKE I HIDE FROM MYSELF. they know eachother. too much. it feels Good from macs perspective. terrifying from dens. they’re on opposite ends of journey of coming out. even before mac started weathering the storm, dennis Knew him. ofc macden moving in together. straight after college or dennis slinking home from north dakota back to mac. it’s scary. he can’t live without him. YOU ALREADY HURT MY FEELINGS THREE TIMES IN THE WAY ONLY YOU COULD. again loving dennis so passionately, despite everything. i remember who i am when i’m with you !!!! your love is TOUGH your love is TRIED AND TRUE BLUE !!!!! it hurts ! and it’s ugly ! but i love you !! i do !!! i cant stop. i don’t want to stop. dependable and alarming and loyal never ending. YOUVE NEVER DONE ME WRONG EXPECT FOR THAT ONE TIME THAT WE DONT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE WHO WON THE FIGHT I DONT KNOW WERE NOT KEEPING SCORE !!!!!!!!!!!! there’s nothing to say. it’s him.

cool about it. the dive bar. paddys <3. i’m trying to be cool about it !!!!! i love you !!!!! feeling like an absolute fool about it !!!! i love you too much !!!!!!! wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it. times up. it’s never gonna happen. it is. talking himself into i can live without dennis without this love. i cant. wanting dennis to apologise. to be Real for once. to not run away. to shout and scream at him and everything he’s ever done. loving him Despite it. to validate macs feelings and experiences. absolution and all it’s religious connotations. religion woven into this love you can’t escape it. dennis as the golden god. dennis as a thousand sins, the ultimate temptation. wanting so badly to just forget about him to be able to walk away like dennis seemed to be able to do so. once i took your medication to know what it’s like and now i have to act like i cant read your mind i ask you how you’re doing and i let you lie but we don’t have to talk about it i can walk you home and practice method acting ILL PRETEND BEING WITH YOU DOESNT FEEL LIKE DROWNING tellin you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing even though we know it isn’t true. again. nothing else to say. that’s them. all tied up.

not strong enough !!!!!!!!!!! i know i have done a thousand not strong enough posts but surprise surprise the search function isn’t working. another jumping around perspective jumping around timeline. IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. mac and the storm. mac getting so so so strong while dennis was in north dakota getting so so so strong to come out physically and emotionally. to find his pride. black hole opened in the kitchen their midnight teas inflate peeking into the kitchen. theyre drowning stuck in that apartment. but it’s also a lifeboat! the double i’m not strong enough to be your man i lied i am / i lied i am just lowering your expectations. i Am strong enough to come out, but you’re not. don’t expect much from me i don’t know if i can deliver it. I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM !!!!! i don’t know why i’m like this. i cant stop it. the bossiness the obsession. ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD !!!!!!!! the storm !!!! the storm !!!!!!!! no matter how hard he tires that war is never ever ending!!! gods never gonna come say ur alright mac it’s okay.

revolution 0. macs crippling lonely upbringing. whatever the fuck macdennis is. it’s not real. none of it is. whatever he thinks the love between him and dennis is. if it isn’t love then what the fuck is it. just let me pretend !!!!!! angry and violent child screaming for love and attention never quite learning how to stop, because love never found him! the storm. dennis vs god. maybe they’re the same. he would like that. being stuck forever the only people who have stayed Hate you and they won’t shut up about it. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house …. go and invite him in etc. i wish he was angrier. mom too. i wish they cared enough to shout at me. give me Something other than indifference. even if the gang hate me at least they tell me they’ll scream and shout and laugh and punch me. at least they see me.

leonard cohen. macden driving forever !!!!!! listening to dennis’ stupid music forever. trying to read into it to see part of him between the chorus and the verse. if you love me you will listen to this song. of course i love you dennis. i’ve been listening to rick astley since i met you. i promise i will never give you up. or let you down. or run around and desert you. even if you do it to me a thousand times (you will). you said i might like you less now that you know me so well. I MIGHT LIKE YOU LESS NOW THAT YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. cause i know you man. right after mac came out. I Know You. that’s terrifying. so he ran (around and deserted mac)! i think that’s true. telling stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else. the comfort of driving. den’s flimsy sense of control. not having to look eachother in the eye. music playing on the radio you can pretend you didn’t hear. “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” sunny is a love story. and i am (not) an old man having an existential crisis at a buddhist monastery writing horny poetry. turning their apartment into a church. macs room a place of worship. i never thought love would happen to me i never thought You would happen to me

satanist. a satanist an anarchist a nihilist with me. let’s run away and hide and be someone else. they can’t catch us. i’ll go against god i’ll be a Satanist as long as You’re with me as long as i have you. please can we run away. do you want to be in my life a long time? i want you there. macden and hiding behind these fake personas. everyone else has talked ab this phenomenon a thousand times better than i am today. at least until you find out what a fake i am. i’m sorry i don’t think i can actually leave god behind. he’s the only person who loves me. we both know you can’t let yourself love me. honey and vinegar. you wonder if you can ever be seen from so far away a slow pull a seismic drift leaning over the edge of the continent. it’s so hard to come back!! you hang on until it drags you under.

we’re in love. they’re in love !!!!!! you could Absolutely break my heart. that’s how i know. loving dennis Despite everything. and i told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been, it wasn’t flattering boy you listened like it mattered. he’s trying at least. again a thousand times mac and dennis Having to hide behind aliases and masks. if you rewrite your life may i still play a part. dennis trying to run away to Be someone else but always having to come crawling home to mac. in the next one will you find me i’ll be the boy with the pink carnations pinned to my lapel who looks like hell and asks for help. that’s them. that’s always been them. there’s something about you that i will always recognise. we’re in love. it’s stupid and ugly and wrong in all the right ways and right in all the wrong ways. it’s us and it’s love!

anti curse. OUGHHHHH. i have already done a line by line mac analysis of this song ITS SO. it’s the storm! he’s drowning !!!! everybody else knew mac was gay but he’s Still drowning. making peace with my inevitable death drowning on the boat, mac coming out and abandoning god - the gang begging him to ask god for help, and when the heavens open and god answers they all climb and kick and push mac down to the bottom. and he drags them back down. he was ready to die with the gang. to go to hell. the gates opened god listened to him God Heard Him Say He’s Gay. being ready to die to be swallowed by this storm. i guess i did. alright considering !! macs relationship w his parents. with the gang. tried to be a halfway decent friend wound up a bad comedian. they all hate me. he’s spent his whole life begging for his parents to love him this moved onto the gang. but they all hate him. he’s a joke. was anyone ever so young? all they are is children begging for love and attention. unpacking god in the suburbs. meeting dennis. never being able to go back. i’m swimming back !!!! learning to weather the storm !!!!! dad. i’m gay. he’s not drowning!!! controlling the war holding your own little peace summit at the eye of the storm. you don’t have to make it bad just cause you know how. dennis begging and screaming for him to just go back in the closet. no! writing the words to the worst love song you’ve ever heard. loving them all despite everything. sunny is a love story. love in its foreign characters an incantation like an anticurse (or even a blessing!!!!) mac being the only member of the gang Not cursed in the gang gets cursed. he’s finally on a string of luck ! but fucks it up anyways

letter to an old poet. OH MY GOD. oh my god. i cant stop i just cant. you all know my s16 theme was macs anger!!! wanting to confront dennis but not wanting him to run again. it’s all bubbling. it’s coming. i said i think that you’re special you told me once that i’m selfish AND I KISSED YOU HARD IN THE DARK AND IN THE CLOSET you said my music is mellow maybe i’m just exhausted YOU THINK THAT YOURE A GOOD PERSON JUST CAUSE YOU WONT PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH . AND I LOVE YOU !!! I DONT KNOW WHY I JUST DO. but !!! you’re not special you’re Evil ! you don’t get to tell me to calm down. you made me feel like an equal BUT IM BETTER THAN YOU ! and you should know that by now. when you fell down the stairs it looked like it hurt and i wasn’t sorry !!! i should have left you right there. with your hostages my heart and my cat keys. YOU DONT KNOW ME !!!!!!!!!! i wanna be happy I’m Ready To Walk Into My Room Without LOOKING FOR YOU i’ll go up to the top of our building and remember my dog when i see the full moon. I CANT FEEL IT YET. BUT I AM WAITING. there’s nothing else to say. explaining it would just be patronising. he’s there!!!! he’s weathered the storm and he’s had enough of dennis fucking around. had enough of everything ever being about dennis. i’ve actually been through shit i deserve it dennis. i should beat you up. leave you out to try. i shouldn’t have let you back in. but i did! because of course i did! you stole my parachute blindfolded me span me around and pushed me out of a moving aircraft. but i survived. built my own campsite all alone. you made me cry you said goodbye you told countless lies and hurt me. that’s all you ever do. i don’t think you deserve to live blameless anymore. i want to hold you accountable. but you’ll just run away again won’t you. make everyone hate me for no reason other than you’re scared how much i know you. come on. you fucking coward. celebrity booze mac is calm and collected confident ab his outfit while dennis is almost falling apart. the argument on the plane. everyone else is scared. mac was taking notes. he’s not stupid he knows dennis was johnny. but he can’t Say it he Can’t scream and shout and beat dennis.

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

I read both versions of An Enemy of the People at the recommendation of a friend.

I loved it. He was absolutely right about it. He wants to restage it so that it takes place in Cold War-era America to parallel the era’s suspicion with the suspicion shown to Dr. Stockmann. What a genius! I can see it. But let’s actually talk about the play’s contents and what both Ibsen and Miller saw in the story.

Dr. Stockmann has different characterizations depending on who’s writing. 

Ibsen agrees with his quest for truth but makes him a bit of a self-righteous, jerkish man with a martyr complex and something of a eugenicist streak. This might be because Ibsen is self-lambasting as to how he is seen (truly or not) after Ghosts. There are also two narrative purposes here:

No matter how jerkish of a man Stockmann is, he’s still right in this case, and he doesn’t deserve the mob mentality ruining his life. He and his daughter got fired, his home has been vandalized, his sons have been driven out of school by people fighting them, and his father-in-law spited him by donating the family’s entire trust fund to the Baths! How is that just?!

No matter how right Stockmann is, we shouldn’t blindly sympathize with him; he has plenty of faults.

Miller’s Stockmann is more clearly in the right and loses the self-righteousness and eugenics (thank goodness). This might be due to the sociopolitical climate in which he adapted the play; it shares plenty of themes with his later work The Crucible and was in fact adapted as a similar social commentary. Miller couldn’t risk his message getting lost just because Stockmann was jerkish.  

Speaking of this parallel, Ibsen’s Stockmann seemed very much like Proctor to me--both men are passionate about telling the truth despite great personal cost, and their passion sometimes keeps them from thinking their statements through enough, though Stockmann is more restrained. Surprisingly, Miller’s Stockmann is more restrained than Ibsen’s and does not bear as much of a similarity to Proctor. We get the passion and anger, but not to the same point of impulsivity, again to avoid losing audience sympathy. 

The overhaul done to Miller’s Stockmann unfortunately means that we lose his mockery of Peter by putting on his hat and using his stick. To me, that was the funniest scene! Again, I get why the change was made, but I think Miller made Stockmann too perfect and utterly flawless. He’s a better person and more humble, but he’s not necessarily as rounded of a character.

The one upside to Miller’s overly sanitized (if you will) version of Stockmann, though, was that by the time he wrote The Crucible, he seems to have learned his lesson and lost his fear of making people turn on the message because it was coming from a jerkish protagonist. Not saying his previous protagonists weren’t messed up (look at Joe Keller and Willy Loman), but I feel like Joe and Willy were messed up so we could watch them descend from being men you could call good and suffer from their own actions. Stockmann and Proctor are supposed to fight for the truth and suffer more from the actions of others than they do from their own (I mean, even though Proctor definitely suffers from the reverberations of his own actions, he’s like Stockmann in that the audience has the sense of “come on, did it really have to go that far?”--he couldn’t have predicted just how massive the reverberations would have been).

LOL the difference between Ibsen’s elevated language and Miller’s simpler form is EVERYTHING. Shoutout to Miller for simplifying, though I read his Stockmann in a “little birthday boy” voice in my head at first.

Miller’s simplification does wonders for the third act when Kiils bought stocks in the hot springs with the Stockmanns’ trust fund and when the paper wants Stockmann back so that Kiils’ stocks can fund whatever they lose from supporting Stockmann. Stockmann’s speech about embracing his role as the enemy of the people is also far more rousing when Miller does it, though I wish he had said “the strongest man in the world is the man who stands alone” as Ibsen had him say rather than “the strong must learn to be lonely.”

MORTEN! THE POINT OF BACTERIA IS THAT YOU DON’T SEE THEM!

I got so happy when I thought the newspaper people would support Stockmann, but then they turned on him at Peter’s convincing UGH. Shoutout to Mrs. Stockmann’s continued support.

Peter was very reminiscent of Danforth in general. Ibsen had him say, "If I am concerned with protecting my reputation, it's only for the good of the town. I cannot possibly direct affairs in a manner conducive to the general welfare as I see it, unless my integrity and authority are unassailable." Also, the fact that he wanted his brother to sign a document that apologized for his “errors.” That sounds very familiar to me LOL--

Not to get all political, but Peter saying he’s fine with freedom in normal times until the current crisis supersedes it...that kinda sounds a lot like the rhetoric of some leaders we’ve had recently (particularly during COVID). Staging it during Cold War-era America would be interesting, but why not go all the way and stage it in the modern day?! (I hear one production set it in FLINT, MICHIGAN, a town that suffered lead poisoning in water. That was bold.)

Horster’s really risking himself by letting Stockmann hold his town hall there because no one else would take him.

Stockmann claiming to be the strongest for being able to stand alone? Loved that statement. Also, his earlier statement (in Ibsen’s version--I wish Miller kept this wording), "When my boys grow up to be free men, I want to be able to look them in the face!" EXUDES "I have three children. How may I teach them to walk like men in the world when I sold my friends?”

Overall, I enjoyed both versions. Miller makes it more accessible, but I liked some of Ibsen’s wordings, and I preferred his characterization of Stockmann to Miller’s. Both are worth a read.

[irresistiibles]

was that amita suman? oh no no, that was just inej ghafa, a canon character from the grishaverse. they are twenty three years old, use she/her, and are aware that they are not actually from washington dc. too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here

i think it’s only been a few weeks but inej is a fast learner and doesn’t want to look like she’s behind the curve or an easy target so if anyone asks she’d say it’s been nearly 8 months and she’s been settled for a while

what is your character’s job

uhhh lemmie get back to you on that i cannot imagine she’d be doing some normal chill job if she knew kaz was here so i will edit this when i figure it out!

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

okay after season 1 of the show for now? i own the first book and season 2 comes out in like two days so we’ll see how long this lasts take it was a grain of salt tbh i’m figuring it out and this could change as i plot/consume more of the media

has any magic affected your character

nope!

any other info!

so! i have only watched the first season of the show so far but i have the first book and will be hopping on it! i know they’re pretty different but i’ve already looked some background stuff up for the sake of knowing the character so def don’t feel like you need to worry about spoilers or anything if we’re plotting please inform me! some standard inej info now! it is just some general vibes because this was an impulse take after i watched the show in two days and lost my mind but though i am figuring her out i am very excited to write her!

she grew up as a traveling performer with her family doing acrobatics 

as a teenager she was captured and sold to a pleasure house known as the menagerie and was stuck there until kaz bought her contract. after that she joined his gang as a spy for them

she’s skeptical of people but not rude. if anything i would say that despite her life and circumstances she’s relatively friendly. she’s reserved but she wants to trust and wants people to be good and can be a very good friend if she decides that you’re someone trustworthy

stubborn and sticks to her beliefs! good luck trying to change her mind it’s not gonna happen especially when it comes to her morals and her beliefs!! is not here to just follow what everyone’s saying and i love that for her

she is reserved though. she’s not the sort to naturally talk to strangers and she’s certainly not chatty. she typically learns from watching people rather than conversation, and clearly it works because she’s gotten

very stealthy and can move without really making any noise at all. has a tendency to accidentally sneak up on people

always has several knives on her and will stab people if necessary. she tries to have her limitations, but she is very protective and will do what she has to do to keep the people she cares about alive and then will feel bad about it after

is frustrated to be here when there are things she considers to be important back home but also has some peace in being far far away from the menagerie

[unabashedly-faulty]

My sex drive is trapped in my system organization. It was freeing to be with someone and also be with others. Ethically non monogamous. It excited me in ways that unlocked something in me that I don’t have at the moment. And that makes sense. I’m pansexual. I enjoy pleasure and pleasing. I also enjoyed a partner that enjoyed tag teaming with me. But I trusted a liar. A fraud. He was nothing like me. I always described him honorably because i am and I thought he was. He just repeated who I am to keep me going along. He exploited me and my trust. To get what he wanted. He used our relationship as a manipulative vehicle. He used my ptsd to control my freedom of expression. He used my disordered brain to get his way. That’s who he is. Any way I described him was nothing compared to who he actually was. I truly thought I was with a kind lover. A protective lover. A caring lover. I said to myself any woman would be glad to be pleased by him because he showed me what it felt like to be. But then again I had nothing to compare to. Sex was so horribly porn centered and I thought my body was just to be fucked like a blow up doll most of my life. It was painful. It was hardly enjoyable until my first divorce. I started finding out what pleasure meant. How it felt. How out of control it could get and how good at it I was. How much they wanted to keep me. Which was gross and off putting. As if you could keep me. Any of them. Consensual sex was uncomfortable. I had to make it comfortable just to get my nut. Outside of all of the sexual assaults, sex was still trash. Unhealthy. I had to teach my impulsivity and hyper sexuality how to say no. How to speak it. How to choose. I thought it was God. But it was my identities. I felt them long before I knew what was happening. I trusted myself to say no when my friend and therapist wanted me not to even try. My brain learns differently. I am glad I stuck to what I know I needed because I learned how to say no to my pussy. Despite who thought I was stubborn. I grew in ways they never could understand. I am better for the mistake they thought I made. I finally got to choose and others wanted to control that. That’s a defining moment in my history. I know what is best for me. I figured it out. Finally. And then my ptsd pushed me into the trap of another. I was in bad shape once my brain started the process of full development. Not to mention the copious amounts of stress I was under. I was losing time. I was missing medication. I was fighting the urge to kill myself often. Sent my son away to fight for my benefits so I could get treatment after they kicked me out of the navy. They tried to do so without giving me benefits. It cost me dearly to fight them. That is what led me into his trap. They made me vulnerable. More than I already was. And he swept In.

Life. He hated me even then.

I did not know people walked around hating the people they claim to like or love. I didn’t do that so I didn’t think someone was doing so. Then he told me he read my texts and was looking at me with disdain then smiling at me at the same time. I’m there unaware making dinner for us. I thought humans could unlearn things. Could heal. I knew about his abusive wife which we now know was not abusive. I knew that when someone got abused their partner can trigger them back to a self they don’t like. And from what he told me about them. They were both nasty to each other. I thought since I worked on myself in therapy that he could too. That he could heal. I thought he was healing. But I didn’t know what was inside him. Before me. Before his first wife.

Someone has to make a choice to take accountability for it to stick. But he never did and he never will. He was always who he is. I just didn’t know. I was too fucked up from the Military and my first marriage to even see. I didn’t even know what signs to see. Didn’t have many if any examples. I only saw white peoples abuse. I never saw Spanish people. I saw some black people abuse but not long enough to understand what it looks like. My mom didn’t share about my dad. I just heard from my sister. I was always hidden when my sister would break my dad off my mom. He left before I got older to be able to see. I didn’t know how Spanish people abuse. The way it is done not that abuse is Spanish specific. The behavior is different. The culture. The dynamics. The suave. Passion. See there was little passion in black abuse. It was more aggression less tenderness. In white abuse it was emotional and mental outside of all races sexual abuse. I had no other data than movies and shows and black and brown people didn’t start being in those until way after the internet was established. Youd see one and two black people.

I see things more now. Behaviors and their similarities and differences. The pattern recognition in my brain is on another level. I’ve always been able to map a persons profile in my mind and spot them in places before my eyes could see them. I thought that was my brain compensating for my bad eyesight and my desire to have tunnel vision on the road to avoid making eye contact with men as I walked. To avoid being grabbed up. My brain.