#derek Morgan one shot

[ddejavvu]

How would Derek morgan react if you cryed bc he cut his finger while opening a box for you 😭 I've literally done this before bc my dad was opening smth for me and he cut his finger 😭 I felt TERRIBLE

He doesn't notice your tears until he's sealing a bandage over the cut on his finger, but when he sees the misty sheen over your eyes, he jumps into action.

"Hey, woah mama, what's the matter?" He reaches for your waist, comforting both for his touch and the way you can't see his injury anymore.

"I'm sorry," You sniffle, "I didn't mean to make you cut yourself."

"You didn't jab me with the scissors," He laughs sympathetically, wiping your tears with his large thumb, "Don't sweat it, pretty baby, it was my fault."

"Still, you were opening it up for me," You lament, "'S my fault."

"Yeah, well technically it's Reid's fault that I fell on my ass last week on the jet," He shrugs, "But I didn't hold that against him or his inconveniently large feet that stick out into the aisle."

You giggle wetly, and he leans in to kiss your forehead with a smile on his face.

"You fell?" You ask, and he nods even if he scoffs at the questioning.

"Almost clocked my head on the table," He recalls, "But I escaped without a concussion."

"That's why your butt feels flatter," You muse teasingly, "I might have to fluff it back up again like a pillow."

His hands dart away from your waist to cover his backside, eyes wide and terrified, "No- no, do not get your hands anywhere near my ass. You're relentless, I can't ever get you off of it."

"It would make me feel better," You exaggerate the thickness of your voice, wiping at a phantom tear as if you'd been the one wounded.

"Oh, you- really? Fine, fine, you get one minute. Forty-five seconds, if you start getting too squeezy."

"If you really loved me you'd give me five minutes," You heave a sigh, hands already reaching for his ass, "But forty-five seconds will have to do."

"You're such a drama queen," He huffs, but the startled yelp he lets out when your nails dig into his skin through his jeans suggests that you're not the only dramatic one.

[storiesofsvu]

Confidence Boost

Derek Morgan x reader warnings: language, some body insecurities, smut, squirting A couple of different req's combined into one. I'll admit it sat in the wip pile for a little too long, but let's hope that doesn't happen anymore!

Derek was fresh out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist when he entered the bedroom, finding you in front of the mirror with a frown on your face. You were fiddling with your shirt, tucking it in then untucking it, pulling it tight, pinching at it to fall loose, pulling it over to only one side all while you turned in various degrees to see all the angles of your body. You let out a huff, hands dropping to your sides as your head tilted and you pulled up your shirt, pinching at your sides and stomach, pulling at your skin.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head baby?” He asked, crossing the room and you let out a huff, finally pulling your gaze away from the mirror.

“Are these jeans too small?” You asked, frown still on your lips as you turned back to the mirror, continuing to pinch at your skin.

“Do I have to fight somebody?” Derek asked, only half kidding as his arm wrapped around your waist from behind and he pressed a kiss to the crook of your neck.

“Did you see that pic Elise posted on insta from lunch?”

“Mmhmm.” He nodded, kissing at your neck again.

“My mother so kindly, and very publicly commented on it that it was looking like I should be laying off the fries and cocktails.”

“Bullshit.” He huffed in annoyance.

“Just made me think maybe she’s right.” You face dropped as your eyes returned to the mirror and you continued picking at your skin and adjusting your shirt. “We went shopping after and nothing I tried on fit properly in my regular size, maybe I need to do a cleanse….” You trailed off as your head tilted, gazing at your body in the mirror.

“Baby, I wish you could see the way I see you.”

“What’d you mean?” You asked, your head twisting to see his face and he pressed a kiss to your cheek before turning your face back toward the mirror.

“Well for starters, these jeans are your tightest pair.” His thumbs slipped into the waistband, tugging gently at it to prove the point as they barely moved from your body, “and I know that because they’re the ones that show off this gorgeous fuckin’ ass.” His hands moved around and squeezed at your ass, spanking you gently and he was happy to hear the little squeal you let out was followed with a laugh. His hands ghosted around your waist, taking your hands in his so you would stop scrutinizing yourself, “they’re so tight it doesn’t matter how tiny someone is once you’re sitting down they’re gonna push in on your stomach.” His hand brushed over your tummy, “and you’d just finished a big, fueling, nutritious lunch with carbonated drinks, a little bloat is natural.” He kissed the side of your neck again, “you are perfectly fucking stunning just the way you are. I think you’re the sexiest,” another kiss, “most beautiful,” another kiss, “stunning woman I have ever seen.” This time he nipped at your sensitive skin and your head fall back against his shoulder as you let out a little sigh.

“Derek…”

“Baby, you and this gorgeous body drive me absolutely wild.” He rolled his hips against your ass and you could already feel his cock starting to get hard, “and I will absolutely show you how much I love it and you.”

“Please…” You murmured and he chuckled, spinning you in his arms so he could kiss you properly. He caught your chin in his hand, directing your lips to his and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Every time Derek kissed you he put every ounce of pleasure and love into it, lips molding to yours, moving with grace in the dance you’d perfected over the years. Your arms wrapped around him, fingernails tickling at the back of his neck and the arm he had around your waist tightened, pulling you closer to him. His tongue slid across the seam of your lips and you gladly parted them, letting him slide into your mouth. He began to back you towards the bed, his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt, breaking the kiss to tug it over your head. Returning to the kiss he started work on the offending jeans, shoving them down your legs along with your underwear and you did your best to kick them the rest of the way off while he got rid of your bra.

“Lie back princess.” He nudged you toward the bed and you were quick to drop down onto it, shuffling backwards until you were nestled against the pillows. “God just look at you…” He purred, hands ghosting up your legs as he climbed onto the bed.

You let out a little giggle, your cheeks heating as your arms crossed over your body, turning your face away from him and into the pillows. “Derek…”

“Oh c’mon baby girl, none of that.” His hand softly gripped your chin, turning your gaze back to his, “there’s no reason for you to play shy.”

Derek ducked down, kissing you gently while his hands moved your arms, guiding them to loop around his shoulders while he deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into your mouth. You couldn’t help but relax into the bed, your whole body melting at the feeling of his embrace as his tongue rolled against yours. One of his hands crept up your side, fingers tickling your skin, drawing patterns across your body as he went, teasingly slow. He traced the shapes and curves of your body, somehow leaving a pathway of both heat and goosebumps as he went, creeping closer to your more intimate areas. His fingers brushed just under the curve of your breast and his lips curved up into a smirk at the feeling of your back arching off the bed to lean into the touch. His hand came to rest, just there, just close enough for you to know it was coming but not bothering to move it any further quite yet.

You couldn’t help it, letting out a small whine into the kiss as you felt the need beginning to build up within you, tingles shooting through your body from where Derek was touching you all the way down into your pussy, gently fluttering around nothing. His lips pressed into the corner of yours, trailing a hot and sticky path across your jawline before he nipped your earlobe, his breath hot on your skin.

“Just relax for me baby, I’ll make you feel good, promise.” He pressed a gentle kiss right behind your ear and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips made their way down the column of your neck.

Derek’s nose nudged at your chin, turning your face away from him so he had better access to your sensitive skin, teeth gently scraping your neck before he sucked at the same spot, tongue laving across it. He let out a soft groan against your neck, his body nearly grinding down onto yours as he bit into your pulse point and you moaned, a hand wrapping around the back of his neck. While his mouth made a home in the crook of your neck, determined to leave you with a few marks his hand finally slid upwards, groping at your chest.

“Oh god…” You moaned, your body arching into the touch and you could feel Derek chuckle against your skin.

“You like that baby?” He asked, fingers pinching at your nipple, earning a small gasp from you as the tingles shot through your body once more.

While his mouth latched onto your neck he rolled your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pressing harder around it at random intervals until you were whining underneath him. He shifted slightly so he could mimic the movements on the other side, barely pulling himself away from your neck so he could see the way your nipples had hardened from his teasing.

“My princess does like that.” He teased with a grin and you were about to retort with something smart but his mouth was on your skin again, tongue licking its way across your collarbone and your head fell back into the pillows with a soft sigh leaving your lips.

Every touch from Derek was electrifying your senses, you felt him on your body, tongue, lips, teeth, hands, the weight of his frame on top of you as he left a path of kisses on the center of your chest. Fire prickled under your skin with each touch, tingling through you, lighting up your senses and sending pleasure shooting through you, building deep in your stomach with each pass of his mouth. One hand wrapped around one of your tits, groping it, thumb brushing over your sensitive nipple while his mouth found your other one. He bit at the top curve of your chest, tongue lapping out to sooth the burn before his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking it into his mouth.

“Fuck…” You let out a gasp, feeling the tingles picking up and you couldn’t help but rub your legs together in search for some relief, your pussy beginning to ache between them.

Derek’s tongue flicked at your nipple while his finger did the same on the other one, teasing and toying with you, teeth scraping against your tender flesh while you began to writhe on the bed underneath him. He pulled your nipple away from your body, letting it go with a lewd pop, watching the way your mouth fell open and you let out a breathy sigh at the feeling. It only took a moment for him to swap sides, repeating the motions, his cock twitching between his legs at the sounds coming from your lips.

“That’s it baby…” he husked against your skin, “relax… I don’t want you thinkin’ about anything aside from how good this feels.”

“Mmm…” you whined in response, your breath catching in your throat as his teeth sunk into your skin again.

His hands ghosted over your stomach, fingers trailing across your skin with a featherlight touch while his mouth stayed on your chest. He shifted between your legs, hands rubbing at your inner thighs as he spread them wider for himself, now able to fully settle between them, the towel around his waist falling to the side. His hands wrapped around your thighs, massaging gently, thumbs pressing into your skin just enough to help you relax into the bed, spreading your legs wider for him while his mouth continued to toy with your chest. Derek slid one of his hands between your legs, cupping at your heat, lips curving upwards at the quiet gasp that escaped your lips. His palm massaged your pussy slowly, gently, just enough to have your hips softly rocking into the touch while breathy moans came from your mouth. His lips stayed wrapped around your nipple, sucking it into his mouth deeper as he continued to toy with you.

“Fuck Derek..” you sighed, feeling your wetness smearing across his hand each time he rubbed at you.

“Relax pretty girl.” He murmured.

Two of his fingers slid through your lower lips a few times, the tips of them barely dipping into your heat, collecting your juices before coming up to rub your clit and your breath caught in your throat. Your hips jumped up off the bed and he chuckled against your skin pressing harder on the nub before his hand returned to your entrance. One finger slid in easily, twirling inside you while the heel of his hand brushed against your clit,

“Already so wet, baby.” He grinned, nipping at your chest and you let out a small whine.

“More, please.”

“Anything my girl wants.”

A second finger slid in to join the first and you let out a soft moan at the feeling, gently stretching your soaked walls out. Derek hummed against your chest, his fingers pumping faster in and out of your cunt, beginning to scissor randomly. He reluctantly pulled his mouth away from your chest, sitting up between your legs and each time his fingers came out of your pussy they were slick with even more of your juices. Your sporadic moans were replaced with breathy whimpers, your hands clawing at the bedsheets as your body arched off the bed, pleasure shooting through you, you could feel it building deeper and tighter in your stomach, fire crackling under your skin.

Derek sunk his fingers as deep as he could into your pussy, letting out a soft groan as he did, feeling the way you were already pulsing around him.

“That’s it baby, wanna feel you squeezin’ me tight.”

He placed his free hand down right above your clit, thumb angled so he could play with the swollen nub as he continued to finger you. Feeling you flutter around his fingers again he thrusted back into you before curling his fingers, quickly finding the sensitive spot inside you and the hand on your lower stomach pressed down gently, thumb flicking at your clit.

“Fuck!” You moaned, your back arching off the bed, pleasure about to burst within you and all you could hear were the squelching noises coming from your cunt as Derek’s fingers picked up speed again.

“Relax pretty girl.” He purred, “just let go… trust me.”

Derek’s thumb increased pressure and pace, rubbing at your clit with more intent, watching with pride at the way your hips continued to buck up off the bed, griding against his hands harder with each thrust of his fingers. Your juices had drenched his hand, slicking down his wrist and dripping down your cunt making a complete mess of things and you didn’t have a care in the world, his touch electrifying your senses as you felt it twisting tighter and tighter inside you, the spark about to burst into a full flame.

“Oh fuuu-ck… fuck!”

Your thighs began to shake, threatening to close if Derek hadn’t been sat between them and he pressed down harder on your stomach, thumb rubbing faster at your clit while the fingers inside dragged across your g-spot. Your hips shot off the bed as you let out a cry, the damn bursting, the prickling under your skin exploding into pleasure you felt through your entire body. Your pussy clamped down around Derek’s fingers, juices spurting out, a second smaller wave coming when he pressed against your g-spot again and you swore.

“Fuck..” your body shook against the bed, “oh my god…. Oh my god…”

“Fuck that was hot as hell.” Derek murmured, finally pulling his drenched fingers from you, watching your cunt squeeze around nothing as you began to catch your breath. “Feel better princess?” He asked, barely giving you time to nod before he ducked his mouth down to your pussy, tongue lapping out to clean up your juices. He sucked and kissed at your thighs, avoiding the still sensitive spots until you’d finally stopped trembling and his tongue surged through your folds, letting out a groan at your taste, barely flicking against your clit before he crawled back up the bed.

“Christ…” You muttered and he laughed softly, “I’ve never done that before.”

“First time for everything.” He replied, leaning over you to kiss you and you let out a soft moan at the feeling of his cock twitching against your thigh.

“Need you…” you murmured, feeling his lips curve up into a grin as he wrapped a sturdy arm around your waist and rolled onto his back.

“How about you ride me? I wanna see this gorgeous body.”

A small smile on your face you pushed up to sitting, straddling his hips as you rubbed your pussy over his cock a few times, grinding down onto him, smearing your wetness and his head fell back into the pillows as he let out a low hiss. Your hand reached between your bodies, wrapping around his cock and lining it up with your entrance while Derek’s hands found your waist to help brace you as you sunk down onto him. A mutual moan and quiet swear echoed through the room as he filled you, now fully stretching you out.

“Fuck, pussy feels so fucking good.” He moaned, his ever so slightly rocking up into yours and you let out a small squeak, pussy fluttering around him.

Bracing your hands on his stomach you pushed up until just the head was left inside your pussy and then sunk down all the way, setting a steady pace as you began to ride him. Still sensitive, your pussy was already pulsing, squeezing his cock in the perfect way, you could feel him throbbing inside you, the head rubbing against your g-spot with each rock of your hips. You began to let out small whines, your eyes fluttering nearly shut as the pleasure began to build up again. Derek’s hands squeezed around your waist,

“God look at you…” he groaned, “so pretty riding my dick. Always take me so well baby, you’re doing so good for me.” His eyes raked over your body, watching the way your tits were bouncing, how your lower lip was pulled in between your teeth and you brow was furrowed. He felt himself twitch inside you, resulting in your pussy clamping down around his cock and he let out a loud groan. “Play with those gorgeous tits…”

He squeezed at your hips again, making sure he had a hold on you to guide you riding him and your hands started to slide up your body. You cupped your chest, groping at the tender flesh as you let out a soft moan before pinching at your nipples and a small gasp left your lips.

“Fuck…”

“That’s it baby.” He grunted, “so fucking hot.” He drove his cock deeper into you and you let out a louder whine. “Gonna need you to come for me again princess, squirt all over my cock.”

He knew he was too close to last much longer and judging by the way you were clenching down around him and the wetness where your bodies were joined, you weren’t far off either. You let out a needy whine, your head nodding as you continued to toy with your tits. One of Derek’s hands left your waist, fingers quickly rubbing your clit again and you felt the similar sensation beginning to build.

“Oh god don’t stop!” You moaned, thighs beginning to quake, “fuck, Derek, s-so good!”

“Yeah?” He groaned, pressing harder against the pulsing nub, “you like that?”

“Mm-mm hmm.” You whined, “gonna make me come.”

“Then come for me baby.”

With a final press of his fingers, he rolled his hips just right and you cried out, your back arching before your entire body rocked forward, hands catching yourself on Derek’s chest as your orgasm rocked through you. Derek let out a low swear, feeling your juices drenching his cock, dribbling out around it as you did your best to continue to ride him.

“So good for me.” He husked, your body trembling in his arms, as you panted. He braced his feet on the bed, driving his cock faster and deeper into you as he chased his own release, panting into the crook of your neck before letting out a low swear and a grunt, his hips stilling against your own.

“Fuck…” you muttered, feeling his release coat your walls as you finally relaxed against him, nuzzling into his neck.

Derek’s arms squeezed gently at you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as you caught your breath. Once he’d stopped twitching and could control his breathing again his hands began soothingly rubbing up and down your back, finger tips tracing patterns across your skin, peppering your cheek and shoulder with kisses. You let out a satisfied hum at the feeling, turning your head to face his so you could kiss him properly.

You shifted slightly, a breath escaping your lips as his cock slipped from you and you dropped to the bed beside him. He did his best to kick up one of the blankets, wrapping it around your waists while you nestled into his side, welcoming the embrace of his arm around you. Derek softly played with your hair while you traced the outlines of his shoulder tattoo. You let out a very happy sigh, pressing a kiss to his chest and his finger curled under your chin, tilting it up to him and he pressed a tender kiss to your lips.

“Feeling better now baby?”

“Incredibly.”

“Don’t feel the need to bad talk my favourite girl anymore?” He asked and you giggled, playfully rolling your eyes as you swatted at his chest.

“No.”

“Good.” Smiling, he kissed you again, “because you are without a doubt, the love of my life. And your body is beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, sexy and I love it just as much as I love you. Woman, I would happily suffocate between your thighs.”

“Derek!” This time you laughed loudly, punching his arm.

“What? I would.”

“Way to ruin a sentimental moment.” You half scolded; half teased, rolling out of the sheets to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I had to get you moving somehow.” He joked, “if we don’t get in the shower now we’re gonna be late for dinner.”

“Jerk.” You grinned, moving toward the bathroom as he scooped up the towel discarded from earlier.

“Hey, you’re the reason I have to shower twice.”

“Uh.. pretty sure you instigated, and you would have no matter what.”

“Yeah? How am I supposed to resist that ass.” He whipped the towel in the direction of your ass and you squealed, darting for the bathroom with Derek quick on your heels, “love that ass.”

“Perv.” You retorted, turning back to him and he grabbed you around the waist, pulling you to him.

“But I love you more.” He tapped the tip of your nose before his hand cupped your cheek and he kissed you deeply.

“I love you too.”

______________

Love Derek Morgan and don't want to miss out? Join the taglist here!

If you like what you've read and are feeling generous (or want to request a VIP fic/chapter) tip your writer <3

_______________

@lovebishoplosamiguelgalindos @mysticfalls01 @barbasbodaciousbeard @sia2raw @dxtery @alexusonfire @bumblebear30 @haarrrys @clarawatson @fandom-princess-forevermore @kylieramey @alexxavicry @leelizzzle @evilregal2002 @rosaliedepp @disneyfan624 @supercriminalbean @happenstnces @onmykneesformarvel @niyizh @tommyriddleobsessed @iluvsreid @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @louderfortheback @ivyflowers13 @silversprings-mp3 @elz-artzzz @speedynana @hanbower @boimlers-gonna-boim @nachofriess @khxna @tinyprettyangel @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @moonlightjxuregui @ms-downhill

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Derek: So you're bisexual and still single?

Spencer: No I'm just bi myself

[justanoasisimagines]

Under the mistletoe with Derek

Hey my lovelies, back with another Christmas headcanon! Credit to cafekitsune for the banner and the divider!

🎄When you and Derek get caught under the mistletoe, he's teasing. Asking you if you purposely put it there. He's full of lightheartedness and banter.

🎄If he's been honest, he was hoping perhaps the opportunity would arise. He was never going to force things. If fate let it happen then he would gladly oblige.

🎄If Derek didn't have feelings for you he'd simply press a kiss onto your cheek. It would be over in a second. Yet when he has feelings for you, he's almost nervous about it.

🎄Your kiss with Morgan would be soft, and gentle. He's testing the waters to see if you feel the same.

🎄The rest of the team, talking amongst themselves. They've been waiting for Derek to make a move for a while. Questing why he's been so hesitant.

🎄Neither of you ever knew it was Rossi who placed the mistletoe there in the first place. Everyone needs a little push sometimes…

[astrophileous]

Love Bugs (Pt. 05)

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?

Warning(s): psychopathic behaviors, kidnapping, captive situation, verbal and physical threats, threatening use of knife, curse words

Word Count: 2300-ish

Tag(s): @camilaheroine @crazyunsexycool @whateverrrrrrrrs @wifeyofeveryone @louderfortheback @marvelousgoldroses

Author's Note: HI I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A CRAZY-FUCK-LOAD DAY I JUST HAD 😭 in summary: my sister had a breakdown, I almost succumbed to the hellhole of road rage, and someone in my life is possibly trying to get a divorce :) so yeah :) it was fcking crazy :)))) buuUUTT I managed to quickly revise and edit this (heavy emphasis on quickly in case there's any mistake found). as usual, you know the drill: LIKE+REBLOG+COMMENT pls pretty pls and thank you 🌹

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

For a whole minute, the silence that conquered the entire bullpen would make a pin drop sound like an exploded grenade.

Everyone was scared to even breathe, let alone to say anything, to make any kinds of noise that would solidify the reality they were facing.

Not a single pair of eyes could jerk their gaze away from the screen as they watched the UnSub closing in on you. Pulling out a dagger and pressing it against your jaw before tilting your head just right so that you would look straight into the camera.

Derek flinched.

"Garcia," Hotch's voice was the first rip into the silence. When the tech analyst failed to answer his call, he tried again, "Garcia."

"Yes?" Penelope's eyes were watery. Her voice was wavering as she answered, "I-I'm sorry. Yes, sir?"

"I want you to start tracking down his location."

"I-I tried to do that, sir. Earlier. I couldn't... the signal, they kept being bounced around and I don't--

"Garcia." Hotch's voice was colder this time. "Try again."

Penelope immediately sprung into action, reaching for her laptop where the projector was connected.

"I'm sending units to her place," Hotch informed before making a quick call. As he waited for the line to connect, he turned to the others in the room. "Emily, (Y/L/N) said she was going to a hospital yesterday, try finding out which one she went to. Reid, JJ, start tracking her past movements, I want to know about every person she's had any contact with recently."

"How far back do you want us to go?" JJ asked.

"The day of the press conference," Hotch answered. "This must be why he's been lying low for a while. He's got his eyes on her since that day. If we can find out where she's been, we can find him."

Hotch pocketed his phone back after sending units to your home. The other three agents had all scurried away to fulfill Hotch's requests.

Derek, however, hadn't even moved an inch.

"Derek?" Hotch called out. When Derek didn't make a single gesture of acknowledgment, Hotch began to approach him. "Derek, do you--"

Hotch didn't manage to reach Derek's side before he was interrupted by the sound of the telephone ringing.

Penelope's eyes were frantic as they darted to the remaining people in the room. "I-Is that--"

"Garcia, get ready to trace the call," Hotch demanded. He moved swiftly to where the phone was located, glancing at Rossi who gave him a single nod of encouragement.

Taking a deep breath, Hotch put the phone on speaker. "FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit."

"Agent Aaron Hotchner?"

"This is he." Hotch waited for the other person to answer, but it never came. "Can I ask to whom am I speaking?"

"You know who I am, Agent."

"Do I?"

"Well, we have a very important mutual person in our lives. I know you. So you must also know who I am."

Hotch's eyes flickered towards Rossi, exchanging a conversation in the silent language which only those two could seem to understand.

"Are you talking about (Y/L/N)?"

"You know I do," the person answered. "You're watching right now, aren't you?"

"Yes, we are," Hotch confirmed. "We need to know if she's safe."

"Of course she's safe. I would never hurt her."

"Yes, I'm sure you wouldn't. But we still need confirmation, alright? It's just how this works," Hotch explained. "Please, can you pass the phone to Agent (Y/L/N)?"

A beat of silence passed. Hotch glanced back at the projector to make sure that the UnSub hadn't done anything untoward. Finally, after what felt like hours, he pressed the phone to your ear.

"Tell them you're okay, Darling," he commanded.

"H-Hotch?"

Derek stood straighter at the sound of your voice.

"(Y/L/N)." Your name almost sounded like a breath of relief out of Hotch's mouth. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Hotch."

Before you nor Hotch could say more, the UnSub tore the phone away and brought it back to himself.

"See? I told you she's fine."

Everyone's eyes were directed back to the screen, seeing your assailant unglue the dagger from your neck and walk straight towards the camera. Even in the darkness, his eyes were provoking. Arrogant. He never broke eye contact as he spoke his next words to the phone in his hand.

"I should thank you, Agent Hotchner."

"Thank me?"

"For giving me the opportunity to know such a beautiful creature in the first place."

The UnSub walked away from the camera, refocusing his attention back towards you. Your determined eyes never so much as faltered, even when he brought the tip of his blade on your skin, dragging it across your collarbones, neck, and back. Forceful enough for you to know not to cause any scene if you didn't want the blade to be plunged into your flesh, but sickeningly gentle as to prevent it from drawing blood.

"I know it was your idea to set up that press conference with Agent (Y/L/N) for me, Agent Hotchner. Wasn't it?"

Hotch gritted his teeth at the UnSub's taunt.

"So, really, I owe it all to you. If only you hadn't made that call--" the UnSub paused, touching your shoulder and leaning down until his lips brushed your temple, "--we would've never had the chance to be together like this."

Then, to everyone's horror, the UnSub's hand trailed away from your shoulder, down and down until it rested upon your belly.

"The theee of us," he sneered.

In that moment, Derek's entire world shifted under his feet.

Every cell in Derek's body went erratic once the true implications of the UnSub's words registered in his brain. His heart plunged into a void before restarting instantly into a sequence of thunders. Inch by inch, his body and soul were consumed by a fog filled with the worst snippet of dread and the darkest terror he had ever encountered in life.

"What is he talking about?" Derek questioned as soon as he had found his voice again. "Hotch?"

But the older man remained stoic in his place by the phone. On the other line, a booming laughter sounded.

"Oh? Did no one know about this?" the UnSub cooed. "Have you not told anyone about the good news yet, Darling?"

The clear panic in your face, along with the whimper that slipped past your lips, was the scissor to Derek's final resolve.

In big strides, he marched over to the phone, voice raw and splintered as he cried, "You sick son of a bitch."

The room stood still at the magnitude of fury laced within Derek's words.

Your voice was muffled when it came through the phone, but Derek heard every fiber of emotions in it all the same.

"Derek..."

"Derek?" Your captor tilted his head. "Ah. Agent Morgan?"

"You're a dead meat, do you hear me?"

"Morgan," Hotch warned sternly.

"So much rage," The UnSub suddenly mused. "I told you, Agent Morgan. There's no reason to worry here. I'm going to take care of them. They're in very good hands."

"Fucking bastard! You get your filthy hands off her," Derek fumed. "Get your fucking hands off my child."

Derek's admission was a butcher knife in the thick silence.

"My child?" the UnSub's voice broke through from the other end of the line. "Darling, what is he talking about?"

Your captor's question managed to lift some of the fog from Derek's head. Before he could begin to form any more words, Hotch pushed him to the side before pressing the mute button to block the noises inside the bullpen from filtering into the telephone line.

"Rossi, can you take over for a second?" Hotch asked before turning towards Derek, "Morgan, my office. Now."

Every one of Derek's movement was robotic as he followed Hotch away from the bullpen. As soon as the door to the office closed behind them, Hotch wasted no breath before stating his order, "I need you off the case, Morgan."

"Absolutely not."

"Morgan--"

"Hotch," Derek cut him off, eyes blazing with a ferosity matching that of a thunderstorm. "I'm not going to stand around and do nothing while she... while he still has her."

"The team and I will never let anything happen to her. To both of them," Hotch promised. "You need to trust us."

"I trusted you, too, last time, Hotch. Look where that got us."

He knew it wasn't fair. Derek realized it as soon as the last syllable had passed his lips. But Derek wasn't himself right at that moment, and Hotch understood it all too well.

Closing his eyes, Derek leaned back against the desk in Hotch's office. Exhaustion was the fruit of fright as it diverged in his bones. It raced along his bloodstream, reaching the deepest points of his entire being until there was no corner left for hope to fill.

"Would you have done it?" Derek asked eventually. "If any of us had told you to stand down when Foyet was holding Haley and Jack--if I told you to trust us--would you?"

"No," Hotch replied truthfully. "But this is different."

"How the fuck is this different?!"

"It's different because your personal feelings almost cost us (Y/N)'s life."

There was nothing Derek could say to counter Hotch's accusation.

Flashing scenes of the earlier phone conversation sped through Derek's mind. For a second there, right after the UnSub unknowingly declared your condition, Derek almost thought that he was on the brink of losing his complete sanity. All Derek remembered was red in his vision as he stalked towards the phone, shouting the first threats he could think of towards the UnSub, all the while failing to deduct how his rash behaviors could affect you later on.

The breath that Derek let out quivered in the air as he tried to stop thinking about what the UnSub might have planned to do to you in the wake of his action.

"She's pregnant, Hotch," Derek cried quietly. "He has them both. She's carrying my child and I... I didn't even know."

Derek didn't even realize he was crying until the burning ache inside his chest started to expand. The room around him was spinning. The only memory echoing in Derek's head was of the very last night the two of you had ever spent together--the night where he screwed up--and how you had kicked him straight to the curb because of his own idiocy.

"I fucked up, Hotch," Derek managed to croak out between his wretched sobs. "The last thing I said to her... God, what if I never get the chance to make it right again? What if the last memory I have of her is of the night I broke her fucking heart?"

Hotch didn't think he had ever seen Derek in such a state before. Gone was the capable and confident man that Hotch had the pleasure of knowing for the last few years. In his place was a broken shell of a man who looked like Derek, talked like Derek, but void of any semblance of life and spirit that Hotch always associated with the man.

The life and spirit that were gone in the absence of you in Derek's arms.

"Morgan, everything's going to be fine," Hotch tried again. "JJ and Reid are scouring everything to figure out her movements over the last couple of weeks. I've assigned Emily to find the hospital (Y/N) went to yesterday. We'll figure out who took her. End this for good."

Derek's gaze never strayed away off the ground. Hotch took a long breath before adding, "Morgan, we will find her--"

"How did you know she went to the hospital?"

The question came as a shock to either of them. Derek's eyes were more curious than incriminating, but the accusation behind them seemed to inflate with every second that passed by in Hotch's silence.

"You didn't seem surprised when the UnSub told us about her condition. Why?"

"Morgan--"

People liked to say that anger was the ultimate fuel for human beings.

And for Derek Morgan, anger was exactly the propulsion he needed to throw himself right off the edge, where the line between flaming vengeance and common sense had blurred together into one another.

It was the propulsion that, somehow, rationalized his instinct to surge forward and slammed Hotch back against the hard surface of the office wall.

The harsh impact knocked the air entirely out of Hotch's lungs, but the choked sound was stifled in Derek's ears by his own roaring wrath. Hotch almost didn't recognize the man beneath all of that hostility. The only thing left of Derek Morgan, in that moment, was his name.

"You knew?"

Each syllable not welded with rage in Derek's question was fused with betrayal instead.

"Morgan--"

"Answer me, goddammit!"

Hotch's resolve remained steadfast as he answered, "Yes."

That one simple word managed to drain every last bit of energy from Derek's body. He fell back a step, then twice, before the choking hold he had of Hotch was finally released.

"How long?"

"I only found out yesterday."

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She told you, but not me." He chuckled dryly. "Why the hell didn't you tell me, Hotch?!"

"I didn't know you were the father," Hotch said. "She never told me it was you."

Before his legs could give out, Derek sank on the chair in front of Hotch's desk. A million different thoughts were going haywire in the neurons of his brain. He wanted to scream. To flip the earth upside down and find the location where you were being held hostage. He just wanted the universe to stop messing with him and started giving him answers.

And then, five seconds later, the door to the office swung open.

Emily stood in the doorway, unassuming of the palpable tension lingering in the air. When she finally uttered her next words, Derek thought he could finally start to breathe again.

"We may have something," Emily announced to the room. "We think we know where (Y/N) is."

Derek flew out of the chair before anyone had the chance to say anything else.

He was coming to get you.

And this time, Derek had no intention of letting you go.

[reidsaurora]

"Trick, No Treat" ~ D. Morgan

Summary: When Derek and Reader get stuck on the haunted house ride at the fair, they play a game of Twenty Questions to calm Reader down. Little do they know… they were the answer to Derek's question all along.

Pairing: Derek Morgan x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,129

Content Warning: very mild swearing, mentions of haunted house related things, mentions of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: i think i forgot how to write Derek fics because this lowkey sucks akshshddhh

Originally Written: 10/29/2023 through 10/31/2023

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Halloweek masterlist can be found here!

Your heart raced as you assessed the situation, panic running rampant through your veins.

It was dark and cold, and the smell of carnival food, while once pleasant, was overwhelming your senses and making you nauseous. The thumping in your chest sped up with every passing second that the ride didn't move again.

As if he could read your thoughts, Derek reached over to your side of the cart, nudging your fingers with his own. "You can hold onto me if it'll make you feel better," he said, the words never judgemental, but instead sympathetic. "I don't bite," he chuckled.

If you weren't already embarrassed from your apparent scaredy-cat behavior, you might've taken him up on the offer. "I'm okay, just… just talk to me?"

You might fight serial killers and terrorists for a living, but dammit if you weren't afraid of the dark. It didn't help that he'd somehow convinced you to go on the 'The Creep Show,' where a demon had jump-scared you moments before the lights went out and the ride froze.

"About what?" he asked, fingers still brushing yours in the dark.

"Anything not related to clowns, demons, dolls, or Jason Voorhees," you said, the words meant to be lighthearted but still managing to come out shaky.

Derek's breath was warm against your skin as he settled in closer to you. Chatter had begun to pick up in the dark area, everyone no doubt discussing what had happened mid-ride. If it hadn't been for the circumstances, you might've felt his presence unnerving, given your long standing crush on the man, but tonight, the heat of his words and the sound of his breathing managed to bring you a tad bit of comfort in all the chaos.

"Okay… uh, tell me your favorite color."

The question caught you off guard, and while it wasn't visible in the pitch-black space, you shot a confused look in the direction of his voice. "What?"

"You said to talk. So I'm asking you a question. Favorite color?" he asked again, this time stating it almost as a command.

"Um… purple," you answered, curious to know where he was going with this.

He paused for a moment, as if to think about his response. After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Okay, I'm thinking of something that reminds me of the color purple. Now you have to guess."

Derek's game seemed a bit childish to you, but you supposed it was a distraction regardless. "Um, is it alive?" A strategy you'd picked up as a child, to weed out the animals and humans from the inanimate objects.

"Yes," he answered, a chuckle settling on the tip of his tongue.

Your minds raced to think of all the things it could be. "Okay, is it a person?"

"Yes."

A small wave of jealousy came over you, despite your lack of confessing the crush you had on him. Still, you managed to take a deep breath, reminding yourself that it could be any number of persons. "Are they a celebrity?"

"Depends on your definition of famous."

A confused crease formed between your brows, though it was invisible in the non-existent light of the broken ride. "Okay… are they pretty?"

"The most beautiful person on planet earth."

A pang shot through your heart, a poisoned arrow hitting a bullseye. You wondered why he'd bother to bring up someone like a supermodel or an actress or anyone else for that matter when you were right there in front of him. After all, regardless of if Derek had knowledge of your crush on him, it was just common courtesy not to, given one's self esteem.

Just as your next question started to leave your mouth, the ride started up again, the loud music drowning out any words you might've attempted to say. Your eyes stayed straight ahead of you as the ride continued, focusing not on the clowns and demons jumping out at you, but rather on the tears that you willed not to fall.

Soon enough, Derek was holding out his hand and helping you out of the cart. He acted as though nothing was wrong, as if he hadn't just crushed what little hope you did have of ever asking him out.

"You never gave me a final guess, by the way," he mentioned as the two of you started to walk toward one of the concession booths.

You shook off your thoughts, meeting his gaze as he stepped into the line. "I'm not sure you gave me enough information," you jested in an attempt to act natural.

"Oh, I think I gave you plenty of information," he chuckled back, his eyes soft as they returned your gaze.

A soft huff of fake annoyance fell off your lips. "Well then, your hints suck because I truly have no clue who you were talking about."

Derek flashed you that signature smile of his, and your heart screamed in anger at your brain for falling desperately in love with it. "Okay…" he started to say, "How's this for a hint?"

The world felt as though it was moving in slow motion when one of his hands cupped your cheek, glancing between your eyes and lips as he waited for an answer. Your sadness quickly turned to a wave of anxious excitement as you nodded, nearly fainting when he planted his lips on yours. A rush of joy and anticipation and exhilaration coursed through your veins, and you truly couldn't believe this was happening.

His lips parted from yours, and already, you wished he'd never leave. Still, he met you with another one of those beautiful toothy smiles, butterflies floating around in your belly at the sight. "Think you know the answer now?"

Never one to back away from your friendly banter, and despite the anxiety flowing through you from head to toe, you managed to joke, "I think you were referring to Megan Fox."

A light snicker tumbled out of him at your comment. "Trust me, she's got nothing on you."

"You promise you aren't pulling my leg? This isn't some Halloween prank?"

He met you with a look of honesty, lips pulling together for a closed-lip smile. "I promise, this is all treat, no trick. Besides, if it was a Halloween prank, would I offer to do it again?"

You shook your head. "I suppose not." You thought for a moment, meeting him with slightly confused eyes. "Are you? Offering again, I mean?"

"If you're accepting."

Suddenly, a wave of confidence came over you. Flashing the man a smile, you placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled him down for another kiss, electricity shooting through you at the feeling of your lips on his. "I'm always accepting when it comes to you, Derek Morgan."

Happy Halloweek Finale, my dearest auroras! 🥹

As previously stated, I totally meant to have this up sooner, but life kicked my butt the past few days and it took me so long to get a chance to edit these last few fics for you guys.

I really hope you guys have enjoyed this week as much as I did! I had so much fun writing all these fics for y'all and getting to celebrate the holiday with you guys. If all goes according to plan, I'm hoping to do something similar to this near Christmas as well so stay tuned for that!

I hope you all had a very happy Halloween and a wonderful Halloweek! Thank you all so much for the love on these fics 🥰

-> taglist: @1234-angelika @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @danielle143 @topguncultleader @ah-blossom @reidselle @dungeons-are-too-cold @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @cwritesforfun @maelartasch

[hornyhornyhimbos]

derek morgan with smut starters, 5, 19, and 25. loss of virginity fic

"Thank You" ~ D. Morgan

Summary: Just a fun lil short story about Reader losing her V-card to Derek

Pairing: Derek Morgan x AFAB!BAU!Reader

Word Count: 1,521

Content Warning: MINORS DNI (18+ content) protected piv sex, use of lube and a condom, praise out the wazoo, nicknames out the wazoo, mentions of toys (no use), thoughts about edging, thoughts about creampie, fingering f!receiving for like a second, Reader has watched porn in the past, Derek Morgan has a massive shlong because I said so

Extra Notes: this might be my favorite smut i've ever written, i love this sm

Originally Written: between 05/15/2023 and 05/23/2023

Smut Starters can be found here!

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

hornyhornyhimbos ask box can be found here!

Despite trying your hardest, it was no small secret that you were a virgin.

Your coworkers at the BAU had acted fairly normal about this fact, which was a huge relief. Ever since a previous group of friends had teased you for it—made you the butt of their jokes, even—you'd been afraid to let anyone know about your "problem."

At some point, you started to wonder if there was something wrong with you. Every time you'd find someone who made you comfortable enough to finally try, you'd pull back. Try to find a new way to say, "Maybe next time."

That was, until Derek Morgan finally asked you to be his girlfriend.

Derek had been an absolute sweetheart about the whole thing. Taking things at your pace, never pressuring you into anything you didn't want, finding ways to make sure you felt nothing short of loved and comfortable.

The night had started out romantically, Derek taking you out to your favorite restaurant, buying a bottle of your favorite wine, all in honor of it being your six month anniversary.

His hands had been on you all night to some capacity. His hand holding yours for the majority of dinner, his arm around your shoulders as you took an after dinner walk, his palm settling on your leg as he drove you home. Subtle touches, nothing overly sexual, but somehow managing to stir your sex drive wide awake.

Still, you willed yourself to stay calm as he walked you to the door, forcing away the urge to jump his bones right there in the stairwell. He pressed the softest kiss imaginable to the top of your head, a kind smile meeting you as you unlocked the front door.

"I had a wonderful time tonight," he said for probably the hundredth time since picking you up earlier in the night.

An ear-to-ear grin flashed across your face as you stepped inside your apartment. "Me too, Derek."

For the first time that night, an uncomfortable silence fell over the both of you. He stood there quietly, waiting for either a signal to leave or one to let him know that he could follow you inside. When you stayed silent for another fifteen seconds, he took that as his cue to leave, placing a delicate kiss on your lips before stepping toward the stairs. "Happy six months," he said, an almost sad look coming over his face.

It took even yourself by surprise when your hand reached out, wrapping around his bicep to stop him from walking away. "Derek, wait."

He turned to face you, a hopeful glint in his coffee colored eyes. "Yeah?"

You willed yourself to get the words out, knowing your body was ready even if your mouth wasn't ready to admit it. "I think I'm ready."

A confused crease formed between his brows. "Ready for?" his voice trailed as he tried to piece together your statement.

"If you would like," you started, "I am ready for you to take my virginity."

Derek's tongue swiped over his lips as he stepped into your apartment. He nodded softly, his hands settling on your waist and his foot managing to kick the door shut. "I would like that. But I think there's something we need to establish first."

The playful tone on the edge of his tongue indicated that he was already dedicated to making you feel as comfortable as he could. "What's that?"

His lips hovered near your ear, a hand reaching behind him to lock the door. "Virginity is a social construct, baby. I'm not taking anything. Just hoping to give you a hell of a good time."

You already started to feel wet just from the sexy tone on his lips. Your breath hitched when his mouth connected to your neck, sucking tenderly beneath your ear.

He led you toward the hall, hands entangling around each other and breath hot against both of your bodies. Two digits fumbled with the zipper of your dress, Derek already craving to see what you hid underneath. Your own fingers fumbled with the button of his slacks, a moan threatening to tumble off your lips as your hand accidentally met the tent in his boxers.

"You're so pretty," he sighed as finally pulled off your dress, his lips melding to the dip of your breasts once he gained access to them. "Can you tell me what you want?"

You finished stripping him down to his underwear before answering his question. "Touch me."

A smirk appeared on his face before he leaned in, his breath warm against the shell of your ear. "Where?"

Much in the same fashion as earlier, your hand wrapped tight around his wrist, pulling his hand to your front, placing his palm against your covered clit. "Right there."

"Your wish is my command, princess," Derek smirked, driving a finger over the pretty black fabric you'd worn underneath that dress he simultaneously loved and hated.

You stumbled back onto the bed, his thumb rubbing mesmerizing circles over your sensitive bud. It hadn't been the first time your clit had been touched, but it was the first time Derek had touched it, and you hoped to god it wouldn't be the last. Your folds practically swallowed the fabric as you pulsed around nothing, eager for his cock to be buried deep inside you.

"How am I doing so far?" he asked, that sexy smirk still not having retreated.

Your hips bucked as he finally slipped his hand into your soaked panties, one of his long fingers teasing your entrance. "Please, Derek, I need you."

His finger slipped inside you with ease, flexing at the perfect pace. Whimpers fell from your tongue as you tossed your head back against the headboard. "How's this?"

"Derek," you called out, your eyes squeezing shut. "Need you. Your cock."

He pulled his hand away, and you groaned at the loss of contact. "So needy," he teased, fingers hooking around your panties and bringing them down your legs.

In swift motions, he tossed his boxers aside, grabbed the condom he kept in his wallet, and tugged it on. While you didn't have much hands-on experience with dicks, you'd seen them enough in porn and pictures to know that he was big.

Your eyes glassed over as you reached for the lube you kept on the nightstand, secretly grateful for buying yourself a vibrator a few months prior. A small thought of Derek edging you with the toy flooded your mind, a moan coming from your lips as you lubed yourself to the thought.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked as he finished rolling on the latex, moving up onto the bed and hovering above you.

"All the things I want you to do to me," you answered truthfully, rubbing the excess lube over his dick. Derek sucked in a breath at your touch, nearly pushing your hand away.

His hand wrapped around his cock, nudging the head of it against your folds. "Gonna be a big stretch, okay? Just gotta trust me."

You nodded, taking his opposite hand in yours and entwining your fingers through his. "I trust you."

The stretch was massive compared to your toy, though you were glad for the previous experience having prepared you in a way. Derek's hips began to sway, filling you up deliciously. He was barely halfway in before you started to mutter profanities from the painful pleasure he was providing you with.

"That's it, babygirl," he whispered with one particularly hard thrust. "Doing so well. Taking me so well."

Your hips rutted against his, your pussy swallowing him even deeper inside you until his cockhead brushed your g-spot, your head falling against the pillow behind you. "Derek, please," you whimpered, "don't stop."

"Wasn't planning on it," he reminded you, hips bucking faster as he chased your releases.

Your orgasm built like it never had before, your hips meeting Derek's in a frenzied but perfect rhythm. You fluttered around him, pulling him even further into you as the coil in your stomach began to tighten. "I'm gonna-" your words were cut short by a moan as his hand met your clit, soft figure-eights bringing you closer to the edge.

"You can cum. Go ahead, sweetheart," he whispered, and as if on cue, your orgasm washed over you in euphoric relief, white spots blurring your vision as your eyes locked with Derek's.

His own release followed soon after, and while you were sure you didn't want kids any time soon, you secretly wondered what it would've felt like had his seed filled you up rather than the condom. His body rested softly atop yours, making sure not to squish you with his giant frame. Your fingers swiped tiredly at the sweat that had formed on his forehead, your own hair sticking to your face as well.

"Thank you," you sighed, connecting your lips to the soft hair that prickled the top of his head.

His thumb swiped gentle strokes over one of your love handles, his heart beating in a way that only you could make it beat. "No, thank you, sweetheart."

-> taglist: @hotchandspencearedilfs @1234-angelika @leigh70 @ah-blossom @alexxavicry @topguncultleader @sammyrenae68 @raeluvshammett @esposadomd

[marie-swriting]

Beautiful - Derek Morgan

Masterlist

Summary : you're struggling with the way your body look.

Warnings : body image issue (⚠️please do not read if it's a sensitive topic), implied eating disorder (⚠️please do not read if it's a sensitive topic), angst, hurt/comfort, whump, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3k

French version

Song inspiration : Body by Julia Michaels

In a dressing room, you look at your body’s reflection in a red dress. You look at yourself from every angle and you only see flaws. For you, this dress doesn’t flatter your shape even though Derek promised you it would. You don’t like the neckline, it doesn’t highlight your chest properly. You don’t like the way your belly is showing through the fabric. And finally, you don’t like the way your legs can be seen because of the dress’ shortness. You pull the dress down a bit, hoping it’d make it longer while a sentence from an ex is resonating inside your head. You keep examining every inch of your body in the mirror to the point you’re twisting yourself. You end up sighing, understanding your body is not made for this dress. You feel like your body isn’t made for a lot of clothes and it has the knack for making you suffer.

“You’re ready, sweet girl ?” Derek questions, outside of the changing room.

“Huh, yes.”

With apprehension, you open the curtain and Derek doesn’t say a word for a second, looking at you up and down. His silence makes you a bit more nervous and convinces you you should get out of this dress right now.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N.” he compliments you with a smile.

“I don’t think so.” you shake your head, staring at your reflection again.

“You’re joking ? You’re stunning.”

“I don’t know. Look at my stomach !” you exclaim, showing your body part. “And my legs don’t look good in this dress either. Besides, I find it too short.”

“It’s barely mid-tight. And, it looks perfectly good on you.”

“I don’t know…”

As a way to reassure you, Derek puts his hands on your shoulders and kisses your forehead.

“I promise you you’re breathtaking in this dress.” he promises you and you force a smile. “You should take it and if you still think you don’t look good in it, you can always return it. Come on, I’ll buy it for you.” Derek announces, happy.

“Derek, you don’t have to-”

“Ha, ha,” he cuts you, moving his forefinger left to right, “I’ll buy it for you, it’ll be for our date at the restaurant next week. Besides, recently, we didn’t see each other a lot, I owe it to you.”

“You know you don’t have to make up for your job.” you affirm, taking his hand.

“Take it as a gift because I love you then. Want to try something else ?”

“No.” you state without wasting a second. “I’m going to change.”

You close the curtain and start undressing yourself without lingering on your reflection. Once you’re ready, you get out of the dressing room and see another woman a bit younger than you in the same dress. In spite of yourself, you think it looks better on her. The dress fits her curves perfectly and you think she is beautiful ; looking at her, you wish you could be like her.

After paying for the dress, you go back to your apartment. All the way home, you stayed silent, lost in your own thoughts made by the several remarks you’ve ever heard. Derek notices your mutism right away. He doesn’t question you, knowing you’ll dig your heels in. Despite the fact you’ve been together for a year, you still struggle to confide in him when you need it. It’s one of the things you’re working on. You’ve been making efforts since you met, but sometimes, you still isolate yourself.

When you’re at your place, you put your stuff down and inform Derek you want to get into more comfortable clothes. Derek lays down on your bed while you’re changing. In your bathroom, you look at your reflection while you’re in your underwear. When you feel your negative thoughts are becoming too strong, you turn your back from the mirror and keep changing. Even when you take your makeup off, you don’t look at yourself. The second you’re done, you lay down next to Derek. Instantly, he takes you in his arms before kissing the crown of your head.

“You’re feeling okay ?”

“Yes. I’m just a bit tired.” you lie, hearing his heartbeats. 

“You’re sure ?”

“Promised.” you affirm, pecking his lips. “Can you sleep here tonight ? I’d like to stay in your arms.”

“Sure.”

Your proposal is all Derek needed to know you’re not okay. Derek might not be aware of the reason why yet but it's only a matter of time until he finds out. He knows you enough to recognise your tell when you're not doing fine without you uttering a word. Nevertheless, at this instant, he prefers to hold you close to him, wanting to give you the comfort you secretly need.

You thought in a few days you’d feel better. You often have those phases where you hate your body more than usual, this one is just more tenacious. You don’t feel good in any of your clothes, you feel ugly and you can’t enjoy anything you’re eating. Everything is awful and you just want to stay in bed and never get out of it.

Unfortunately for you, you have to go on a date with Derek. With the small amount of strength you have, you manage to get out of the bed.

After taking a shower, you open your closet. You go through your clothes without will. When you find the dress Derek bought you, you hesitate between wearing it or burning it. You know it’d make him happy to see you in it but you’re still not convinced. Reluctantly, you grab the hanger before putting the dress on, hoping this time, you’ll see what Derek saw.

You adjust the dress and you look at yourself in your bedroom mirror. You still have the same vision : only flaws. Keeping your eyes on your body, your eyes get teary while in your mind, sentences like : ‘you’re not pretty’, ‘you look like nothing’ and other awful words are echoing.

There are more and more tears in your eyes and you refuse to cry. You can’t have a breakdown tonight. You have to spend the evening with Derek. Your demons will have to wait for later. You take deep breaths and when you’re sure you’re not on the verge of crying anymore, you take your makeup. You hope making your face more beautiful will help you. Maybe it’ll remedy your outfit. Furthermore, when you doll yourself up, it sometimes helps you to feel better - even if it’s not a magical remedy. However, this time, your mood gets worse. The dark circles under your eyes are making fun of you while you try to cover them up and some pimples on your face don’t make the situation any better.

You try to hide things as best as you can while thinking, at least you can get rid of these imperfections for a few hours. When you’re more or less satisfied with the result, you go back to your mirror to check if you look a bit presentable.

Despite your makeup, you don’t think you look better. Your dress is still looking ridiculous on you and no matter how many accessories you try to add, you still think you’re not pretty. Annoyed, you end up removing the dress and go back to your closet. You’re in the same situation as the beginning. Looking at your dresses again, you realise your white one is missing. It’s a simple dress but you feel good in it. You have an idea where it might be so you go to your laundry, cursing at yourself. When you find your dress is, indeed, in your washing machine who is currently working, you sit down on the floor, muffling a scream. You don’t have a fallback solution anymore and it’s out of question to wear your new one. Feeling like you’re in an impasse, your tears come back in an instant. This time, you don’t have the strength to hold them back. They run down your cheeks freely, ruining your makeup on the same occasion. You cry for approximately ten minutes, you don’t even want to think about what you look like right now. Once you’re calmer, even if some tears keep flowing, you go back to your bedroom and take your phone.

Message from you to Derek, 6:58 P.M. : 

I just got my periods, I don’t feel like going to the restaurant. Do you mind if we cancel ?

Message from Derek to you, 6:59 P.M. : 

No problem. Do you need anything ? I can stay with you if you want.

Message from you to Derek, 7:01 P.M. : 

No need. I have everything I need. Sorry for the last minute cancellation.

Message from Derek to you, 7:02 P.M. : 

Don’t apologise, get some rest. I love you ❤️

You answer to his ‘I love you’ before setting your phone back on your nightstand. You quickly put on some sweatpants and your favourite sweatshirt then you leave your bedroom. 

In your kitchen, you take several snacks and go to your living room, you start the first show Netflix recommended to you. You watch the episode without paying no mind to it while eating potato chips. Unsurprisingly, you feel yourself falling down even more in your downward spiral. You could be at a fancy restaurant with your boyfriend and you’re in your living room in a sweatshirt snacking.

Guilt is eating you alive when you think of Derek. You feel bad for lying to him, in particular when he pays that much attention to you but you don’t have the moral strength to leave your apartment. 

You burst into sobs again, hating the phase you’re currently in. You can feel yourself drowning and instead of trying to get back to the surface, you let yourself go down in this feeling of emptiness. 

Three weeks later, you’re still miserable and you still haven’t talked about it with Derek. A part of you wants to tell him everything you’re feeling and the other part wants to be able to get through it without his help. You can do it, you could do it before you met him. You can do it again. Therefore, when Derek comes back from a case, you do everything to hide your uneasiness. You know it’s a risky game, his profiler skills will see right through you in a heartbeat, yet you don’t want to burden him with your demons.

Of course, Derek knows what’s going on. He’s been on his toes since the moment he bought the dress and he doesn’t need to be a profiler to know you’re not fine. He knows you by heart. He’s just waiting for the perfect moment to bring up the subject, unfortunately with his job, this moment has been delayed several times.

However, that evening, he’s determined : he’s going to talk with you. He can’t keep staying silent when he knows you’re not coming to him. Before inviting you to open up to him, he wants to make sure you’re at ease by proposing a nice night out. He’s planned a movie then a take away at your place. He wants to finish the evening at yours, wanting you to be in a safe space.

When Derek arrives at your home, you’re putting your makeup on. He gives you a compliment which you don’t take seriously. He looks at you from your bed. He sees your hesitant gestures when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror. Besides, your silence gives him another clue. Normally, you two don’t stop talking, especially when you haven’t seen each other for more than a week because of a case. 

You open your closet and start going through your stuff. When you still haven’t decided anything five minutes later, Derek stands and comes to you.

“Why don’t you wear the red dress ?” he asks, pointing at the cloth in question.

“Isn’t it a bit fancy for a movie ?”

“Not necessarily.”

“I was thinking of wearing the white one.” you tell him, taking it.

“Sweet girl, you’re beautiful in this dress but you wear it often. You have a lot of clothes that look good on you. You should change.”

You quickly weigh pros and cons, remembering all too well your last reaction when you wanted to wear your new dress. You end up forcing a smile and take it.

“You’re right. I’ll wear the red one.”

You’re about to change when Derek’s phone rings. He leaves your bedroom to take it in the entrance. Meanwhile, you take the dress out of the hanger and slip it on. You smooth the dress with your hands then, take a quick look in the mirror. Instantly, tears are back again in your eyes.

Contrary to last time, you hold them back. Derek is in the room next door, he can’t see you like this. However, you don’t have the time to calm down your emotions that Derek is already back in your room. Seeing you crying, Derek takes you in his arms right away. You sob for a few minutes whilst Derek strokes your back, hoping it’ll calm your cries. When he thinks you’re able to talk, he puts his hands on both sides of your face to look at you.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong ?”

“I…,” you stutter, shaking your head, “it’s stupid.”

“You know pretty well it’s not stupid if you’re in this state. Talk to me.” Derek repeats with a soft tone and you sigh.

“It’s just that I don't like my outfit. I told you, it’s stupid to cry for that.” you complain when he frowns. “I don’t feel good in this ugly dress. I look ugly in this dress.” you admit, averting his eyes.

“Why do you talk about yourself like that ?”

“I don’t know why. I just can’t feel good in this dress.” you repeat with a weaker voice. “I don’t understand how you can find me pretty in it.”

“It’s not just about the dress, isn’t it ?” he inquiries, knowing the answer.

“My relationship with my body has always been complicated, you know it, but lately, I’ve been feeling like shit.” you confess, your lips trembling, “I don’t feel good in my body, none of my clothes look good, I can hardly look at myself in the mirror and I feel ugly.”

As you talk, your breath becomes more jerky. Derek wipes the tears that have rolled down your cheeks. You didn’t even know you had started crying again. Derek is about to talk when you beat him to it : 

“I know you’re gonna tell me the opposite, you’re gonna say all of these things are just in my mind but I can’t help it. I swear to you I want to look in the mirror and say it’s beautiful like you do but I don’t see what you see. I want to love my body like you love my body, I swear, I really want to love it, it just seems impossible. I can’t think of one single positive thing about me.” you mumble, your voice breaking. “Everytime I think I’m finally doing a bit better, I remember every word people have told me, whether it’s an ex, a friend or even my family and it’s back to square one.” you inform, trying to dry your tears, in vain. “And no matter how much you compliment me, I can’t believe you. I know you’re genuine but I can’t believe you. I just feel like every word you’re telling me is a lie to make me feel better. It’s not the truth and in one way, I know it but I can’t help it. I feel like I’m doomed to forever hate my body and…”, you keep saying, taking a deep breath, “it scares me. I don’t want to keep going like this. I don’t know what to do.”

Gestures being stronger than words, Derek holds you again. It’s not the first time you break down in front of him but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t break his heart hearing your angst. You hide your face in the crook of his neck, feeling ashamed to be this vulnerable.

“I’m sorry, we’re late for the movie because of me.” you articulate against his torso.

“We can always go another day. It’s okay.” Derek assures you, kissing your forehead.

“The fact is, it’s not the evening you had in mind. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise for feeling bad.”

“I know but it’s the second time we cancelled our plans because of me.”

“You’re talking about the restaurant ? You had your periods, it wasn’t your fault.”

Following Derek’s sentence, guilt finds its way with your other emotions. You break the embrace and set your gaze on your hands, fidgeting with your fingers nervously.

“I lied to you, actually. I had put on this dress to make you happy and I ended up in the exact same state. I preferred to cancel everything instead of talking to you. I’m sorry, I promised you I’d make an effort.” you say, raising your eyes to him. “I’m just so scared to be a burden to you. I don’t want you to grow weary of me because I’m not good mentally. I still don’t know how I got you and I don’t want to lose you for that. Besides, I want to handle it on my own… I mean, it works clearly so well !” you exclaim, rolling your eyes. “I’d understand if you wanted to leave me.”

“Hey, I’m not going to leave you when you need me.” Derek affirms, his hand on your cheek. “Look, I can’t imagine everything you’re feeling, but I will always be by your side, especially when you’re feeling bad. And if I have to repeat every second of every day you’re beautiful for you to believe me, I will. However, I think talking with a therapist could help you.”

“Probably.” you admit. “Would you come with me ? At least for the first session, I’ll need support.”

“Of course. I’ll come with you to as many sessions as you want.” Derek accepts with a comforting smile.

You know you still have a long way to go before loving yourself yet, you’ve already taken the first step.

For the first time in weeks, you let go of a sigh of relief. You peck Derek’s lips then you press yourself against his body again, his arms protecting you from your demons.

Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[whereireid]

˚ · . 𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍

request here ! ⭑ smut | ♡ fluff | ✄ angst

𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

⭑ — size differences. (coming soon)

synopsis... derek is just so much bigger than you, and he never lets you forget it.

[chithereader]

jealousy, jealousy / aaron hotchner

here’s my masterlist! pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader / shy!reader word count: 2.4k genre & cw: fluff, a little jealousy and pining angst if u squint, mentions of made-up case, different use of cm character a/n: thank u so much for all the support i've been getting on my fics!! hope you love this one as much as i do, i really enjoyed writing this one the most!

Today was a bad day. That much was clear. From the moment you woke up to the minute you arrived at the BAU– you’re convinced that the universe has simply gone the extra mile to make your life a little harder. 

You slept through your alarm and a few phone calls from Garcia, making your morning stressful and complete chaos. You didn’t have time to grab a cup of coffee or a snack, and apparently you also didn’t have time to remove the colorful pimple patches that adorned your face. 

Your blouse is buttoned asymmetrically, your hair resembling a bird's nest, and you left your ID at home, making your arrival more delayed as you had to employ Garcia’s help in presenting a copy of your ID to let you through. 

That too was not without stress given that your phone was on the verge of dying as you were in the call, but thankfully you could finally breathe in the elevator. Or so you thought. 

There were two things that immediately caught you off guard as you walked into the bullpen: one, almost all the desks were deserted and two, Reid and Morgan were watching you- as if waiting for your reaction, which led you to look around in anticipation. Is there a surprise? A prank? Did I miss a patch? I’m…wearing pants, right? 

Not wanting to prolong your search, you look at the two for any indication or clue. Tilting your head to the side as if to ask what? But to your surprise, they both nod their heads in one direction. Oh.

Strauss was in Hotch’s office, along with Rossi and a woman you don’t recognize. Hotch looked a bit tense, Strauss firm, Rossi is as relaxed as ever, and the woman… is looking directly at Hotch. Just Hotch. Huh. 

You were stood just shy of your desk when you shook thoughts out of your head, slowly approaching your desk to settle your things. Dozens of scenarios were running through your head, trying to make sense of new additions to an otherwise normal day. 

But the way she was studying him made your chest tight like someone was stepping on it.. and you couldn’t figure out why. 

You approach the two rascals only to lean on Derek’s desk as you whisper under your breath, “What’s happening there?” 

Morgan shrugs but his focused face remains, “I don’t know, kid. I tried Garcia but she doesn’t have a clue either.” Eyes studying the people in the room, noting anything that could tell them something. 

Mulling over more possibilities, you hum in response. Turning to Reid, you ask him- hoping that his eidetic memory can tell you anything about the woman even if they’d only met in passing. 

“Do you know anything, Spence?” But Reid only pouts at you, a sign that he’s thought about it hard but is coming up empty. 

Shaking his head, he soberly replies, “No..I don’t think so. I– I’ve never seen her before. Sorry.” 

Before any more thoughts could be voiced between the three of you, the door to Hotch’s office opens and all four of them file out- the woman walking a little too close to Hotch. 

-

You’re approaching your usual seat on the jet beside Morgan and across from Hotch when suddenly Agent Seaver overtakes you and sits on your seat. Caught by surprise, your eyes instinctively go to Hotch who’s already looking at you. 

He nods to himself, moving from the aisle seat to the one by the window. But it appears Agent Seaver misunderstood his gesture and moved beside him, “Oh! Thank you, sir.” Even going as far as touching his arm and leaning closely. 

Now, you’ve never been a violent person. Rage has just never overcome your senses like that but today.. of all days– you couldn’t help the image of spilling your hot chocolate all over her cream blouse. 

You don’t even notice that you’re frowning as you sit beside Morgan, somehow still unaware of how much their closeness really upsets you. You honestly thought you’ve maintained an expressionless face until Morgan looks up from his file and leans close to whisper in your ear, “You’ll need claws not paws, baby girl.” Winking at you as you separate. 

You steal a glance at Hotch only to see him watching you and Morgan with furrowed brows. He almost looks normal if it weren’t for the clenching of his jaw that’s his tell of irritation. Moving your gaze to Seaver, in case you missed something that’s causing his new mood, you find her reading the case file. 

As you return your gaze on Hotch, you watch as Seaver touches his arm again and engages him in conversation about the case. It’s through the whole jet ride that you had to stomach the constant Agent Hotchner, Agent Hotchner! paired with a giggle or a slight touch. UGH!

If it weren’t for Strauss personally recommending Agent Seaver as a consultant for this case, you would have done– …still absolutely nothing. You had no claim whatsoever over Hotch. Morgan and Rossi may tease the two of you occasionally, forcing that he treats you specially or whatever but his behavior could simply be chalked off as him being a good and attentive boss. 

And yes, okay fine. You may have some moments here and there… but! they could honestly just be built up in your head because of the feelings you have for him. Like when he said he likes it when you stare? Come on, being stared at can be flattering and that’s just a universal truth. 

- 

After a whole day of coming up with theories, visiting crime scenes and M.E.’s, you’re all completely spent. Lounging in the makeshift discussion room, all of you are still working tirelessly on the case given that the unsub’s on a spree and his timeline is alarmingly short. 

Reid’s been silently staring at the board for 20 minutes while Morgan’s pretending to read files of potential suspects with his legs stretched out and feet on the table, “This is impossible. We just don’t have enough.” He exclaims as he tosses the file on the table with a thud. 

To the left of Morgan, you’re also silently mulling over files of potential suspects. Not wanting to admit that he’s right, you guys don’t have enough…bodies. You barely have anything on the guy, barely any clues- for a working profile. 

You sigh heavily, peeling your eyes off the paper and looking at the board. “Reid?” The boy genius shakes his head softly, confirming that the known dump sites don’t say much about the unsub’s comfort zones or hunting ground. 

You suddenly wonder where Seaver, Hotch and Rossi are. You and Morgan got back to the precinct at around 11PM, and you realize you haven’t seen any of them, “Where are the others?” 

Morgan, in an effort to lighten the mood, jumps at the chance to tease you, “Hmm. I think what you’re really asking is: Where’s Hotch and is he with Seaver?” He punches your arm lightly, making it obvious he’s only teasing. 

The smug, playful smile on his face makes you fight one of your own, desperately trying to not give yourself away, “Shut up,” hitting him in the head softly with the file in your hand. 

While you two were exchanging playful glares, Reid interjects, “Seaver wanted to turn in early since she’s also the one meeting with the families tomorrow so Hotch brought her to the hotel.” 

You instantly lift your gaze to him and watch as he removes the marker’s cap and scribbles rapidly on the board, quickly adding “And I’m pretty sure Rossi’s getting us coffee from the diner around the block.” 

You want to blame it on your exhaustion– your inability and ineffectiveness at hiding how you truly feel about what Reid just revealed to you, groaning loudly in pain and frustration. You put your head in your hands, muffling the sounds you’re making that are somehow a combination of a laugh and a sob. 

Morgan understands your reaction immediately and laughs out loud. 

“It’s not funny!” There was honestly no point in hiding it. As much as Morgan teased you, you knew he wouldn’t tell anyway, and Reid.. well, he was honestly an even better keeper of secrets than Morgan, Rossi and Garcia. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, “Baby girl, worry not. You know you hold a special place in boss man’s heart.” Then gripping both your wrists to pry your hands off your face. 

Pressing your face even further into your hands, you let out a muffled version of “That’s not true!” that came out more as “Daffs noft thwu!” 

When Morgan successfully pries your hands off your face, you’re surprised to see Reid’s moved from the board to behind Morgan, half leaning half sitting on the table, curiously watching you. 

Morgan turns around to look at the door behind you, making sure the coast is clear before he says, “Kid. Be real with me for a sec… are you blind?” That was not the question you were expecting. 

You must have looked so lost because he continues, “Hotch cares for you. Deeply. And not in the same way he does for us. You’ve gotta have felt that, kid.” Funny, you are starting to feel like a kid– the only thing missing are his hands on your shoulders to complete that huddle pep talk experience. 

“That’s just not–” you try to start. But Reid swiftly raises his hand, signing you to stop–

“Did you know that every morning Hotch makes sure all the pens and mug handles on your desk are pointing to the right– the way you need it to be– in case the night janitors move any out of place?”

“Or that he never really ate lunch in the office before but started bringing sandwiches and other food he could microwave, while timing his lunches with yours presumably so he could strike up a conversation with you during break?” 

“Or do you remember that one time the AC in the bullpen broke and we were all sweating badly, and I said the heat was making me too thirsty then he disappeared into his office and came back with a bottle of water and an orange juice box only to give it to you?” 

Morgan lets out a loud laugh at that one while Reid pouts playfully, “I mean I was genuinely dying then.” 

Not without his own input, Morgan smiles softly at you with a raised brow “Did you know he personally restocks your favorite hot chocolate in the pantry and on the jet? Including the marshmallows.” 

You breathe in deeply, the revelations sounding too good to be true but winding nonetheless. You crack a small joke, trying to play it off “And I thought the bureau was just feeling really generous.” 

The two, who have grown to be such brothers, give you the exact same look of Really? 

As Reid rounds the table to go back and stand by the board, Morgan catches your attention and holds your eye, “Look, there’s so much more, kid. But they all point to the same thing.” He says this as softly as possible, as if to not scare you away. 

You let out a soft, breathy laugh. Shaking your head, “That just can’t be true.” 

With all three of your backs to the door, you don’t notice Rossi nearing. You just suddenly hear his voice from behind, rounding the table and settling the coffee cups in front of all of you, “Coffee, anyone?” 

As if trapped in the null of the previous conversation, you’re still looking at Morgan as you lean back in your chair, slumping further to seek non-existent cover. Reid, who is now back in his own world with the board, is handed a cup by Rossi, who didn’t even turn to look- only stretching out an arm to receive it and mumbling a distracted “Thanks.”  

Rossi, who is simply too smart for his own good, impressively senses something hanging in the air, nonchalantly asking about the tailend of a conversation he was not supposed to hear, “So… what can’t be true?” 

Back to lounging excessively on a chair that is a tad too tiny for him, with legs outstretched and feet on the corner on the table– Morgan spouts, “That she’s Hotch’s girl, and has no reason to be jealous of Seaver– who by the way needs the HR orientation more than Penelope and I.” 

-

Now– all of your backs are to the door except Rossi’s. Not one of you tried to move due to fatigue, let alone look.

Unbeknownst to you, Morgan, and Reid, on the way back to the precinct from the hotel, Hotch had the genius thought of picking up Rossi so the latter wouldn’t have to walk a block with trays of coffee on hand.

Hotch and Rossi arrived together. And as Rossi went around the table to give you your cups of coffee, Hotch stayed behind– leaning on the doorframe with arms crossed, watching you and the team.

Imagine his surprise, hearing what Morgan just said. His heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropped. His entire being froze entirely.. What? Jealous? 

In his mind, he had two choices: Act like he didn’t hear it and save you from embarrassment or use it to his advantage and make his intentions clear..ish. 

-

You gasp loudly at his bluntness– and in front of Rossi! Straightening in your chair and pointing an accusatory finger at Morgan, “You little– I am NOT jealous! and I am NOT Hotch’s–” 

Cut off by someone loudly clearing their throat from behind all of you, you all freeze, including Reid who hasn’t been actively paying attention until now. 

The hair on your neck stands up as you hear the nearing footsteps, already envisioning digging your own grave in your head when finally, Hotch is standing right beside you. 

You’re all still pretty frozen, save from the slow movement which is your eyes slowly lifting its gaze to the man in question until they meet his hazel orbs. He holds your stare as he leans on the desk, arms straining in his shirt– 

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Rossi fighting a smile, and just as you’re about to mentally curse him in your head, you’re broken out of your thoughts by a deep voice, 

“You don’t think you’re my girl?” 

[reidsdimples]

This feels like something Morgan would say to Y/N

[ddejavvu]

can i request a derek fic where readers also in BAU and they’re married and everytime someone says “morgan” both her and derek turn around or show up and the teams figuring out how to differentiate the morgan’s and dereks just all smug like “yeah she’s MY wife”

i love you’re writing btw!!!🩷

"Morgan?" Penelope calls from the kitchen, "You're scheduled for a retake of your ID photo today at 12!"

The responses she gets are a, 'What?' from you, and a, 'What'd you say?' from your husband. You blink bewilderedly at him, and relish the way that his grin lights up the room between you, like a sunbeam shot into your chest.

"Oh, not you," Penelope huffs, peering over the open door of the fridge to glance between you two, "I meant the pretty one!"

"That doesn't narrow it down, babygirl," Derek raises an amused brow at her, drumming his pen on the wood surface of his desk, "You talking to me or my wife?"

"Your wife!" Penelope all but snaps, "Derek, your ego is so inflated."

"It's your fault," You tease Penelope, who withdraws from the fridge with a can of soda and a slightly guilty expression on her face, "I seem to remember you answering just about a thousand of his phone calls with, 'Ahoy there, sexy'."

"Stop," She pleads regretfully, cracking the tab on her soda can with more force than she needs to, "Don't- stop! I didn't know you two were- were hitched! -were canoodling! I never would have talked about his abs if I'd known he was taken."

"It's okay," You promise her, and you really mean it, because you know for all of their sex-crazed banter, they're friends to the highest degree, and Derek is faithful to you. "Penelope, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't know how to paint nails."

"It's true," Derek nods, grabbing your hand to showcase the baby blue color he'd applied for you just yesterday, "You're my personal trainer, P.G."

She surrenders with a sigh, and you're glad that she seems to not harbor any real guilt, because you'd hate for her to be burdened with it. She leans in to peer at your hand Derek has on display, and when she looks closely at your ring finger, her nose scrunches in a grimace.

"You got it on her cuticles, Derek," She chides, disapproval apparent in her tone that makes your chest shake in a gleeful laugh, "Have I taught you nothing?"

[reidmarieprentiss]

Lost & Found

Summary: You suffer memory loss after an accident, only remembering your sister, Emily, and not your boyfriend, Spencer.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings/Includes: car accident, depressive thoughts, fighting, crying, memory loss, struggling with memory loss, showering together, suggestive content (16+), use of Y/N

Word count: 19.6k

a/n: this reminds me of the vow lol my bad but i already wrote it sooo

main masterlist

The sun had just begun to rise over Washington, D.C., casting long shadows across the bustling streets. You were driving to work, your thoughts on the day ahead, when the unthinkable happened. Out of nowhere, a semi-truck barreled down the road, its brakes screaming in protest, unable to halt its deadly path. There was no time to react. The world slowed as the massive vehicle collided with the driver’s side of your car, the sound of metal crunching filling the air like a thunderclap.

—

Spencer Reid sat in a sterile conference room, surrounded by maps and case files in a small town in Missouri. He was miles away from home, yet his mind kept drifting back to you. It had been a little over two years since you and Spencer began dating, and in that time, he had come to rely on your comforting presence. Even though he was away, the two of you made it a point to call each other whenever possible, exchanging stories about your days and sharing a few jokes. Today, he hadn’t heard from you yet, and a nagging feeling tugged at the back of his mind.  

The shrill ring of his phone jolted Spencer out of his thoughts. Hotch was in mid-sentence when Spencer abruptly stood up, excusing himself from the meeting as he glanced down at the caller ID and recognized your best friend’s name. 

“Hey, Spencer! Sorry for calling so early, I just wanted to ask if you knew what Y/N would like for her birthday dinner!” they chirped, their voice a bit muffled from what sounded like some activity in the background. “She’s so picky, you know! Maybe we could make a surprise for her?”

“I...I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her yet today,” Spencer admitted, his voice nearly shaking. “But she loves Italian food, maybe pasta?” 

“Oh, of course! I’ll start with that, then. Thanks, Spencer!” they replied before hanging up, oblivious to the gravity of the situation.

The call left Spencer feeling hollow, a growing sense of dread gnawing at him. He sank back into his chair, his mind reeling. Moments later, his phone rang again, and he picked it up without even glancing at the screen. This time, the voice on the other end was urgent and frantic, and Spencer’s heart sank as he listened. 

"Hello?" he said, trying to keep his voice steady, though the room was still buzzing around him.

“Spencer Reid?” a calm, authoritative voice inquired on the other end.

“Yes, this is he,” Spencer replied, straightening up slightly as he recognized the tone of someone delivering important information.

“This is St. Agnes Hospital in Washington, D.C.," the voice continued. "I’m calling about Y/N L/N.”

Spencer's heart skipped a beat. The mention of your name brought everything else to a halt, and he felt a wave of apprehension wash over him.

“She has been in an accident,” the voice said, and Spencer could hear the weight behind those words. “You are listed as her emergency contact, how soon can you get here?”

He froze, unable to process the words as they echoed in his mind. “An accident?” he finally managed, his voice barely above a whisper. "What happened?"

“There was a collision with a semi-truck,” the hospital staffer explained, their voice professional yet tinged with compassion. “Y/N was seriously injured. She’s currently in surgery, but it’s critical.”

Spencer's mind raced, each word like a punch to his gut. ��Is she—” he started, his voice breaking. “Is she going to be okay?”

“We’re doing everything we can, Dr. Reid,” the worker reassured him gently. “But you should get here as soon as you can.”

He nodded, though the person on the other end couldn't see him, trying to gather his thoughts through the haze of shock. The room around him felt surreal, the voices of his colleagues fading into the background.

“Thank you,” Spencer managed to say, his voice shaky with barely restrained panic. “I’m on my way from Missouri, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

As he ended the call, Spencer abruptly returned, shoes pounding against the floor. His teammates noticed the sudden change in his demeanor, their conversations pausing as they turned to him with concern.

“Spencer?” Emily asked, noticing the ashen look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Y/N,” Spencer said, his voice tight with urgency. “There’s been an accident. I need to get home.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabbed his things, already planning his route to the nearest airport in his head. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat echoing the urgency to be by your side, to hold your hand, to be there when you needed him most.

“We’ll cover things here,” Hotch assured him, stepping forward. “Go.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replied, his voice holding gratitude and desperation. He turned to leave, his thoughts solely focused on getting back to you, hoping with every fiber of his being that he wouldn’t be too late.

—

Spencer couldn’t remember the flight home. The moments blurred together as his mind replayed the words over and over: life support, coma, severe accident. They echoed in his head, refusing to let him think of anything else. His team had rallied around him, offering words of support and handling the details to get him back as quickly as possible. 

As the plane touched down in Washington, Spencer felt the full weight of the situation crashing down on him. His legs trembled as he stood, a numbness spreading through his body as he made his way through the terminal. 

The hospital was a short drive away, and yet it felt like an eternity. He barely registered the buildings and streets flashing by as he sat in the back seat of a cab, his heart pounding with each passing moment. 

Finally, he arrived at the hospital, a large, imposing building that now seemed more like a fortress. Spencer rushed through the doors, barely acknowledging the bustling activity around him as he focused solely on reaching you. He navigated the maze of hallways with a determination that surprised even him, eventually finding his way to the ICU. 

Your room was sterile and filled with the rhythmic beeping of machines, each sound a stark reminder of your fragile condition. Spencer stopped short at the sight of you lying in the hospital bed, tubes and wires snaking across your body. His heart wrenched at the sight, a profound ache settling in his chest as he slowly approached. 

“Y/N,” he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. 

He took a shaky breath, feeling the enormity of the situation press down on him. He felt helpless, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest with the assistance of the ventilator, knowing there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. 

Spencer reached out, his hand trembling as he gently took yours. The warmth of your skin was a small comfort, a reminder that you were still there, still fighting. 

“I’m here,” he said softly, his voice breaking as he spoke. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Please, Y/N... please come back to me.” 

The room was silent except for the steady hum of the machines, and Spencer felt a tear slide down his cheek. He brushed it away, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

—

The hours that followed were a blur. Spencer sat by your side, his hand never leaving yours as he kept a silent vigil. The nurses and doctors came and went, their words and actions a distant murmur as Spencer focused solely on you. He remembered snippets of conversations, assurances that you were receiving the best care possible, and updates on your condition that offered little comfort. 

In those moments, Spencer clung to hope. He recalled all the times you had smiled at him, the way your eyes lit up when you were excited or passionate about something. He remembered the quiet moments you shared, the laughter and love that had blossomed between you over the past years. 

—

Three Days Later

Spencer hadn’t left the hospital since he arrived. The team had been by his side, offering support and keeping him company, but he barely registered their presence. All that mattered was you, and the hope that you would wake up and return to him. 

On the third day, the doctor came in with a more hopeful expression than before. He checked the monitors, made some notes, and then turned to Spencer with a small smile. 

“There’s been some improvement,” he said gently. “It’s a good sign. We’re going to try reducing the sedation and see how she responds.”

Spencer felt a flicker of hope at the words, his heart clenching with a mix of anticipation and fear. He nodded, unable to trust his voice as he watched the doctor adjust the IV line. They assured him they would keep him informed as soon as your surgery was complete and directed him to the waiting area, where he could collect himself while waiting for more information.

Spencer made his way to the waiting room, his thoughts a whirlwind of emotions. Memories of you together flooded his mind: the quiet evenings spent curled up on the couch, the laughter shared over inside jokes, and the whispered promises of a future together. He sat down, feeling the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him, wondering what the next few hours would bring.

—

The hours stretched on interminably, each tick of the clock echoing loudly in Spencer's ears as he waited in the sterile waiting room. He couldn't bring himself to focus on anything other than the thought of you, lying in surgery, fighting for your life. The antiseptic smell of the hospital, the murmur of other patients and visitors, all faded into the background as he replayed every memory he had of you in his mind, trying to cling to the hope that you would pull through.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor approached Spencer with a solemn expression. "Dr. Reid?" the doctor asked, and Spencer quickly stood, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Yes, that's me," Spencer replied, his voice fullof hope and anxiety.

"The surgery was successful," the doctor said, offering a small, reassuring smile. "We were able to stabilize her, and she's currently in the ICU under observation."

Spencer felt a rush of relief wash over him, though the gravity of the situation was still heavy on his shoulders. "Thank you," he said sincerely, his voice trembling with emotion. "Thank you so much."

The doctor nodded, understanding the depth of Spencer's gratitude. "She's not out of the woods yet," the doctor continued, "but she's made it through the worst part. However, I need to prepare you for the possibility that there may be complications. We won't know the full extent until she regains consciousness."

Spencer nodded, taking in the doctor's words with a mix of relief and apprehension. He felt his breath catch in his throat, knowing that there was still a long road ahead, but grateful for the chance to be by your side as you began to recover.

—

You pulled through, but it wasn't without its challenges. When you finally awoke, the room was filled with the soft beeping of monitors and the faint hum of medical equipment. Everything felt disorienting as you blinked against the harsh fluorescent lights, trying to make sense of where you were and what had happened.

Spencer was at your side, his eyes filled with relief and worry as he watched you stir. He reached out to take your hand, squeezing it gently in reassurance. "Y/N," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "You're awake."

You turned your head slightly, trying to focus on the man before you. He looked somewhat familiar, yet your mind struggled to place him. The last thing you remembered was being 18, living with your sister Emily, and yet here you were, in a hospital bed, with a stranger by your side.

"Who are you?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of uncertainty.

Spencer felt his heart drop at your words, a painful realization settling in. He had hoped that when you woke up, everything would be back to normal, that you would go back to the life you had built together. But the look of confusion and fear in your eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"I'm Spencer," he said gently, trying to keep his voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "I'm your boyfriend. We've been together for over two years. You live with me."

You shook your head slowly, trying to wrap your mind around his words. It felt like a dream, a reality you couldn't quite grasp. "No," you said, your voice breaking with frustration and fear. "I live with my sister, Emily. I don't know you."

Spencer felt a wave of sadness wash over him, but he forced himself to stay strong for you. He knew this was a possibility, that the trauma of the accident could have affected your memory, but hearing it from you was a different reality altogether. He took a deep breath, his heart aching with every word he prepared to say.

“Um, no. I—I don’t know how to tell you this, but, uh…” Spencer tried to speak through the tears coming on, his voice trembling. “You are 25 years old, Emily is 38,  and you work as a liaison for the Sex Crimes Unit in the FBI. Emily and I work together in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. We met through Emily, and now you live with me. You were in a severe car accident three days ago, and you may be suffering from amnesia.”

His words hung in the air like a cloud, heavy and dense, as you struggled to process what he was telling you. The hospital room felt colder, the sterile smell more pronounced, as your mind tried to catch up with the information being presented to you. Everything he said felt distant and unfamiliar, like a story someone else was telling, not your own life.

“Amnesia?” you repeated, the word foreign on your tongue. You could feel panic beginning to rise in your chest, the fear of the unknown pressing down on you. “How is this possible? I—I don’t remember any of this.”

Spencer’s heart broke at the fear in your eyes, and he longed to reach out and comfort you. But he knew that, to you, he was a stranger, someone who claimed to know you but didn’t feel real. He had to tread carefully, to give you space to process the situation at your own pace.

“It’s okay,” Spencer said softly, his eyes filled with compassion. “I know this is a lot to take in. You’ve been through so much, and I’m here for you. We can take this one step at a time. Whatever you need, I’m here to help.”

You looked at him, studying his face for any sign of deception or recognition, but all you saw was sincerity. It was both comforting and unsettling. Here was a man who seemed to care deeply for you, yet you couldn’t find a single memory to support his claims. It was like standing at the edge of a vast, unknown ocean, unsure whether to step forward or retreat.

“I just... I don’t understand how I got here,” you said, your voice small and uncertain, the edges of panic sharpening your words. Your eyes filled with tears as you grappled with the enormity of your situation. “Where’s Emily? I want to see Emily,” you added, the tears now spilling over, and you could feel your chest tighten with fear and helplessness. 

Spencer felt a painful twist in his heart as he watched you cry, the sight of your distress cutting through him like a knife. He knew how much you relied on Emily before, but he had been your rock these past years. To not be able to comfort you in your time of need tore him apart. Despite the situation, he felt a glimmer of relief that you still remembered your sister, a familiar anchor in a sea of unfamiliar faces and places.

“She’s at home sleeping. I’ll give her a call,” Spencer assured you, reaching for his phone with a steady hand, though inside he felt anything but calm. He wanted to be the one to comfort you, to hold you and tell you that everything would be okay, but he understood that right now, Emily was the person you needed most. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. You wiped at your tears, feeling both grateful and overwhelmed by the kindness of this man who seemed so determined to help you, even though you couldn’t remember him.

Spencer stepped out into the hallway to make the call, wanting to give you a moment of privacy. The hospital corridor was quiet, save for the distant murmur of medical staff and the occasional beep of machinery. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before dialing Emily’s number. 

“Spencer?” Emily’s voice was groggy but instantly alert as she answered the call, concern evident in her tone. “Is everything okay? How’s Y/N?”

Spencer swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him. “Emily, she’s awake,” he said, his voice tight with emotion. “But she doesn’t remember anything from the past seven years. She thinks she’s still living with you.”

“Oh my God,” Emily breathed, the shock clear in her voice. “Is she okay? What did the doctors say?”

“They think it’s retrograde amnesia caused by the trauma of the accident,” Spencer explained, running a hand through his hair as he spoke. “She’s asking for you, Emily. She’s really scared.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Emily promised, already moving to get dressed. “Tell her I’m on my way, okay? And Spencer... thank you for being there with her. I know this must be incredibly hard for you.”

Spencer nodded, even though Emily couldn’t see him. “I’ll tell her. Drive safely.”

After ending the call, Spencer returned to your room, his heart heavy with the knowledge of how disorienting this must be for you. He found you sitting up slightly, your eyes still red from crying but showing a flicker of hope at the mention of your sister.

“Emily’s on her way,” Spencer said gently, offering you a small, reassuring smile. “She should be here soon.”

You nodded, the knowledge that Emily was coming bringing you a semblance of comfort. But still, questions swirled in your mind, the uncertainty of your situation looming large.

"Thank you, um, what was your name again?" you asked softly, your voice hesitant and tinged with the confusion that clouded your mind. 

Spencer’s heart ached at the question, a painful reminder of the gap that now existed between you. But he managed a gentle smile, determined to be patient and understanding. 

“Spencer,” he said quietly, meeting your gaze with a steady warmth. “My name is Spencer.”

You nodded slowly, trying to commit his name to memory, even though it felt like grasping at straws. There was something comforting about the way he looked at you, a sense of safety that you couldn’t quite explain.

“Thank you, Spencer,” you repeated, hoping that saying his name would help anchor you in this unfamiliar reality. Despite the overwhelming uncertainty, you felt a small sense of reassurance knowing he was there, a steady presence in the storm of your fractured memories.

—

Emily arrived at the hospital within the hour, her eyes filled with concern and determination as she made her way to your room. When she saw you, relief flooded her features, and she rushed to your side, wrapping her arms around you in a warm, reassuring embrace.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Emily murmured, holding you tightly as she stroked your hair. “I’m here, Y/N. We’ll figure this out together.”

You clung to her, the familiar comfort of her presence grounding you in the midst of the chaos. For the first time since waking up, you felt a sense of safety, a reminder of the life you remembered.

Spencer watched the reunion, his heart aching with a mixture of emotions. He was grateful that Emily was there for you, knowing how much you needed her support right now. But there was also a longing, a deep-seated hope that one day, you would remember the life you had built with him, the love that had grown between you.

As you leaned into Emily's embrace, you whispered, “Can you stay with me, please?” Your voice was soft, almost childlike in its vulnerability, and Spencer’s heart clenched at the sound of it.

Emily smiled gently, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face as she nodded. “Of course, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” she said, guilt tinging her words. “I came as soon as I heard.”

“It’s okay,” you replied, offering her a small, reassuring smile. “Peter is really nice.”

The misstep in Spencer's name hit him like a physical blow, and yet he understood. You were trying your best to piece things together, to make sense of the world around you, and that meant trying to fit him into a picture that didn’t quite match the reality you remembered. 

Emily glanced at Spencer, a flicker of understanding in her eyes as she gave him a supportive nod. She knew how hard this must be for him, watching you struggle to recall the love and life you shared. 

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing himself to return Emily’s nod with a small, grateful smile. He knew that rebuilding the bridge to your past wouldn’t be easy, but he was willing to do whatever it took to help you find your way back. 

He remained quiet, a gentle presence in the background as Emily continued to comfort you, knowing that while he might not be the one you remembered now, he would do everything in his power to be the one you’d remember in the future.

—

Spencer eventually went home, the weight of the last few days pressing heavily on his shoulders. The hospital had become a second home in the wake of the accident, but now, as he drove through the familiar streets of Quantico, he felt the exhaustion finally catch up with him. 

The apartment was quiet when he arrived, the silence amplifying the absence of your presence. He dropped his bag by the door and stood in the entryway for a moment, looking around the space that had been your shared sanctuary. Everything about it—the framed photos, the little touches that marked your shared life—felt like an echo of the past he was desperate to help you remember.

He made his way to the bathroom, shedding his clothes and stepping into the shower. The hot water cascaded over him, washing away the grime and fatigue, but doing little to ease the turmoil inside. As the steam filled the room, Spencer closed his eyes, allowing the water to drown out the noise in his head for just a moment. 

He thought about you, lying in that hospital bed, trying to piece together a life you couldn’t remember. The thought of your struggle weighed heavily on him, and he wished more than anything that he could simply take away the burden of your amnesia. But he knew that wasn’t possible, and it frustrated him deeply.

Stepping out of the shower, Spencer wrapped a towel around his waist and caught his reflection in the mirror. The face staring back at him was etched with worry and sleepless nights. He knew he needed to rest, to recharge so he could be strong for you, but his mind was already racing with possibilities, with ways to help you find your way back to the life you had known.

Reluctantly, he made his way to the bedroom and sank into the mattress, pulling the covers over himself. 

—

When Spencer awoke, the morning light was filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. He stretched, feeling the knots in his muscles protest at the movement, but he pushed through, determined to make the most of the day ahead.

His mind immediately returned to you and the questions that had haunted him since the accident. He needed answers, a plan, something tangible he could use to help you. Rising from the bed, he quickly dressed and made his way to the library, his thoughts already churning with possibilities.

The library was quiet, a haven of knowledge waiting to be tapped into. Spencer made his way through the aisles, pulling books from the shelves with practiced ease. He found volumes on neurology, psychology, and memory restoration, stacking them on the table as he prepared to dive deep into his research.

Sitting down, Spencer opened the first book, his fingers flipping through the pages with the kind of fervor only a man on a mission possessed. He absorbed every word, every study and theory on amnesia and retrograde amnesia, searching for anything that might provide a glimmer of hope.

He read about the mechanisms of memory, the ways trauma could affect the brain's ability to store and retrieve information. He learned about the potential for memory recovery, the techniques that could aid in jogging the mind back to the present, and the importance of emotional connections in bridging the gaps.

As the hours passed, Spencer lost himself in the sea of information, each new piece of knowledge building upon the last. He scribbled notes in the margins, cross-referencing studies and compiling a mental list of strategies he could employ to help you.

It was a daunting task, but Spencer felt a sense of purpose in the research, a way to channel his love for you into something tangible. He was determined to do everything he could to help you regain your memory, to guide you back to the life you had shared together. 

For Spencer, this was more than just a quest for answers—it was a testament to the bond that had grown between you, a bond he was unwilling to let go of. He was ready to fight for your future, to be there for you in whatever capacity you needed, until the day your eyes lit up with recognition and the memories flooded back. 

With renewed resolve, Spencer closed the book he was reading, his mind buzzing with ideas and possibilities. He gathered his notes, feeling a sense of determination settle over him. He would be there for you, no matter how long it took, until you found your way back to him.

—

Spencer called Emily, feeling a slight tremor in his fingers as he punched in her number. He knew how delicate your situation was, and he didn’t want to risk upsetting you with his presence if it would cause more harm than good. As the phone rang, he took a deep breath, hoping that Emily would have some insight into how you were doing and whether it would be okay for him to visit.

“Hello?” Emily’s voice came through the line, sounding calm but tinged with exhaustion.

“Emily, it’s Spencer,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady despite the nervousness fluttering in his chest. “I wanted to check in and see how Y/N is doing... and if it would be alright for me to come back to the hospital. I don’t want to overwhelm her, but I think I might have found some helpful information on memory restoration tactics.”

There was a brief pause on the other end, and Spencer could hear the soft murmur of the hospital in the background, the distant beeps of monitors and the hushed conversations of medical staff. Emily sighed softly, and he could picture her leaning against the wall outside your room, her hand running through her hair as she considered his request.

“Spencer, she’s been asking about you,” Emily finally said, her voice gentle and reassuring. “I think she wants to start trying to piece things together a little, and having you here might actually help.”

The fragments of your past felt like pieces of a puzzle scattered across the table, and you were trying to fit them together. The memory of just having graduated college and moving in with Emily in Europe while she worked for Interpol was clear in your mind, yet the reality you were living in contradicted that memory in every way. You obviously went to college, got an important job, met someone, and fell in love. That would be nice to remember.

The thought of your life now—a life filled with achievements, meaningful relationships, and moments of joy—was enticing. You felt a sense of longing to reconnect with those parts of yourself, to remember the paths that led you to where you were today. The idea of having accomplished so much, of having people in your life who cared deeply for you, filled you with both curiosity and determination.

You sat in the hospital bed, the beeping of the monitors a constant reminder of the present, and tried to reconcile the gap between what you knew and what was real. There was a sense of urgency within you, a desire to reclaim the life that had slipped through your fingers due to the accident.

As you contemplated this, Spencer arrived, a reassuring presence amidst the confusion. He had a folder in hand, filled with information he’d painstakingly gathered to aid in your recovery. His expression was one of quiet resolve, a testament to his commitment to helping you find your way back.

“Hey, Y/N,” Spencer greeted softly, taking a seat beside your bed. His eyes were warm and encouraging, and you couldn’t help but feel comforted by his presence. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I’ve found some information that might help you remember.”

You nodded, eager to hear what he had discovered. The prospect of understanding more about your life, your achievements, and the connection you shared with Spencer filled you with hope.

Spencer opened the folder, revealing a collection of notes, articles, and studies on memory restoration and retrograde amnesia. “I’ve been looking into different techniques and therapies that could aid in restoring your memories,” he explained, his voice steady and full of purpose.

He began to outline the various strategies he had found, discussing everything from cognitive therapy and memory exercises to more experimental approaches. As he spoke, you listened intently, absorbing the possibilities and feeling a flicker of determination ignite within you.

“I believe that with the right approach and support, we can hopefully help you piece together your memories,” Spencer said, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. “I’m here to support you in whatever way you need. We can do this together, one step at a time.”

His words resonated with you, and you found yourself nodding along, feeling a renewed sense of hope. The idea of reclaiming your memories, of rediscovering the life you had built, felt like a light at the end of a long tunnel. 

“Thank you, Spencer,” you said softly, your voice filled with gratitude. “I want to remember.”

—

The hospital released you into Emily’s care. While the medical staff had done everything they could, the journey to regaining your memory would continue outside the hospital walls.

The decision to stay with Emily instead of Spencer hurt him, but it felt like the right choice for now. As much as Spencer wanted to be there for you, he understood the need for you to be in an environment that felt familiar and safe. The last thing he wanted was to push you further away by overwhelming you with too much, too soon.

“It’s okay,” Spencer assured you as you prepared to leave the hospital. His voice was steady, but the flicker of pain in his eyes was unmistakable. “I understand. Emily will take good care of you, and I’m just a phone call away if you need anything.”

You nodded, appreciating his understanding. A part of you felt guilty for not choosing to stay with him, especially considering how kind and supportive he had been. But the gaps in your memory left you feeling adrift, and being with Emily was like holding onto a piece of your past that still made sense. Besides, he was still technically a stranger.

—

The drive to yours and Spencer’s apartment was quiet, Emily navigating the streets with the ease of someone who knew them well. You sat in the passenger seat, watching the city pass by, anticipation and apprehension swirling within you. This was a chance to see the life you had built, to find clues that might help bridge the chasm between the past you remembered and the present you couldn’t grasp.

Arriving at the apartment building, you felt a sense of déjà vu, as if you had been here countless times before, but it was all shrouded in fog. Emily led you up to the front door, her presence reassuring and calm as she unlocked it and gestured for you to step inside.

The apartment was warm and inviting, filled with little touches that spoke of a life shared between two people. You took a tentative step inside, your eyes scanning the space as you tried to grasp any spark of recognition. The furniture, the décor, the scent of your favorite candle burning on the coffee table—everything felt just out of reach.

But it was the photographs that caught your attention, lining the walls and filling the shelves with captured moments of happiness and love. You walked over to a series of framed photos, your heart aching at the sight of the images. There you were, smiling and laughing with Spencer, your faces filled with joy.

There was a picture of the two of you on a hiking trip, arms around each other as you gazed at the camera, the sun setting behind you. Another of you dancing together at what appeared to be a wedding, Spencer’s hand on the small of your back, your face lit with laughter.

And then there was the one that brought tears to your eyes—an image of you and Spencer sharing a tender kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck, his hand gently holding your waist while the other stretched out to hold the camera. The love captured in that single moment was undeniable, and yet it was a memory you couldn’t access, a chapter of your life that felt painfully distant.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as the weight of what you had lost settled over you. You turned away from the photos, covering your face with your hands as sobs wracked your body. The sadness was overwhelming, a deep, unbearable grief for the beautiful life you couldn’t remember.

Emily was at your side in an instant, her arm wrapping around you as she whispered soothing words, trying to calm the storm of emotions that had taken hold.

“I’m so sorry,” you cried, your voice breaking with the depth of your sorrow. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I wish I could remember. I wish I could—”

Spencer’s expression was filled with compassion and understanding, though his heart ached at the sight of your distress. He longed to reach out and hold you, to reassure you that it was okay, that you would find your way back to him in time. But he knew that the memories were something you had to reclaim on your own.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Spencer said gently, his voice soft and comforting. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

Despite his reassuring words, the pain of not being able to remember was too much to bear. You were inconsolable, and Emily could see that you needed space to process everything, away from the emotional overload of the apartment.

“Let’s go home, Y/N,” Emily suggested softly, guiding you toward the door with a gentle touch. “We can come back another time when you’re ready.”

You nodded, allowing her to lead you away, the tears still streaming down your face. Spencer watched as Emily escorted you out, his heart heavy with sadness. 

—

The following Monday, the next step in your recovery journey was to visit your workplace, a place where you had spent countless hours building a career you could no longer remember. The decision to bring you back into the office was made with the hope that it might jog some of your lost memories, and while it felt daunting, you were determined to face it head-on.

Emily drove you to the FBI headquarters, the massive building both imposing and familiar as you approached. You had been nervous about this visit, unsure of how it would make you feel or what it might stir within you. Your unit chief had been extremely understanding about your situation, assuring you that you had all the time you needed to recover and that your job would be waiting for you if and when you were ready to return. The possibility of never coming back loomed large, but today was about exploring what felt right.

As you walked through the corridors, passing colleagues who greeted you with warm smiles and words of encouragement, you felt a mixture of anxiety and curiosity. The familiarity of the surroundings tugged at the edges of your mind, teasing you with whispers of recognition that were just out of reach.

When you finally reached your desk, something shifted within you. A small sense of familiarity washed over you, grounding you in a way that you hadn't expected. The space was uniquely yours, decorated with personal touches that reflected your personality and interests. The colorful keyboard and mouse pad, the photos adorning your workspace, all felt like pieces of yourself that you were slowly rediscovering.

Emily stood beside you, watching as you took it all in. Her presence was reassuring, a steady hand on your shoulder as you navigated the myriad of emotions swirling within you.

"This is your desk," Emily said gently, gesturing to the array of decorations and mementos that made it uniquely yours. 

You ran your fingers over the keyboard, tracing the familiar keys, and then turned your attention to the photos. There were images of you and Emily from your first apartment together in D.C., snapshots of a time when life felt full of possibility and adventure. Your eyes lingered on the photos of you and Spencer, capturing moments of joy and love that you desperately wished to remember.

One photo, in particular, caught your eye. It was of you and another person, both of you with wide smiles, arms wrapped tightly around each other, faces pressed together in a display of friendship and affection. The bond between you was evident, even in a still image, and you felt a pang of longing to recall the memories associated with it.

“Who are all of these people?” you asked, your voice tinged with curiosity and a hint of sadness.

Emily leaned in, pointing to the photo of you and the person who seemed to be a close friend. “That is your best friend, Noah,” she explained. Her smile was warm, the fondness for your friendship evident in her tone. “You two have been inseparable for years. They’ve been by your side through thick and thin.”

You studied the photo, trying to summon any fragment of memory, but the connection eluded you. Still, it was comforting to know that you had someone like Noah in your life, a constant presence of support and friendship.

Emily then pointed to another photo, this one featuring a large group of people gathered in a spacious kitchen that looked to be part of a grand mansion. The scene was lively and filled with laughter, the closeness between everyone palpable even in a photograph.

“And that,” Emily said, gesturing to the group photo, “is my team. The Behavioral Analysis Unit, at David Rossi’s house for pasta and wine. It’s a tradition of ours to get together and unwind after a long week. You’ve become a part of that tradition too.”

The photo brought a sense of warmth and belonging that tugged at your heartstrings. Though you couldn’t remember the specifics of the event, the image conveyed a sense of community and acceptance, a reminder that you were surrounded by people who cared for you deeply.

You nodded, feeling a mix of emotions—gratefulness for the connections you had forged, sadness for the memories that remained out of reach, and determination to piece it all together. As overwhelming as it was, the visit to your workplace had sparked something within you, a desire to reclaim the life you had lost and reconnect with the people who meant so much to you.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Emily,” you said softly, turning to your sister with gratitude in your eyes.

Emily smiled, her hand squeezing your shoulder reassuringly. “You’re doing great, Y/N.”

—

After spending some time familiarizing yourself with your desk and the environment, you felt a little more grounded. Emily suggested taking a break, and the two of you made your way to the break room for some coffee. The small talk and casual atmosphere provided a sense of normalcy, and you found yourself relaxing into the environment, even if it still felt like you were seeing it all for the first time.

As you sipped your coffee, Emily shared stories about the team, painting vivid pictures of the friendships that had developed over the years. Her words were filled with warmth, and you could sense the deep bond that connected everyone in the unit.

“–and then you and Penelope performed as much of the Rent musical as you could while Spencer took you home from girls' night.”

You laughed, a joyous feeling after all the sadness and confusion you’d been wearing like a cloud. It felt good to feel lighthearted again, if only for a moment, and the image of yourself belting out show tunes with Penelope at the top of your lungs was both hilarious and comforting.

“Was he mad?” you asked, picturing the scene in your mind.

“Quite the opposite,” Emily said, her eyes twinkling with amusement at the memory. “He asked you out the next week at work.”

“That’s so sweet,” you said, a warm glow spreading through you at the thought of Spencer’s patience and kindness. 

“He really loves you,” Emily added, her voice gentle and full of sincerity. 

You looked down at your coffee cup, a mix of emotions swirling within you. “I just can’t believe I’m loved so much by someone I don’t remember,” you said softly, your words carrying the weight of your current reality. 

Spencer hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but as he was walking to the break room, your voice reached his ears, and he froze just outside the door. The sound of your laughter was like music to him, a familiar melody he had sorely missed since the accident. It felt normal to hear you in the building, like it had been before, a sense of déjà vu that was both comforting and bittersweet.

But hearing that last snippet of conversation—that you couldn’t believe you were loved by someone you didn’t remember—was like a punch to the gut. It was a reminder of how much had been lost, how fragile the threads of your connection had become in the wake of your amnesia.

Spencer’s heart clenched with longing and sadness. He wanted to be there with you, to share in the laughter and help rebuild the life you had once shared. Yet, he also knew that the path to healing was not a straight line and that you needed time to find your footing.

With a heavy heart, Spencer decided against going into the break room. He felt it would be too much to face you right then, knowing that he was part of the gap in your memory. He turned on his heel, heading back to his desk with a resolve to give you the space you needed while still being there for you in whatever way he could.

Back in his office, Spencer tried to focus on his work, but his mind kept drifting back to you and the conversation he had overheard. He wished he could do more, be more, to help you remember. The thought of the love you had shared, a love you now couldn’t recall, weighed heavily on him.

—

Over the next few weeks, life became a series of ups and downs, filled with moments of both clarity and confusion. Living with Emily had its comforting moments—her presence a soothing balm to the chaos in your mind. You cherished the time you spent with her, grateful for the bond that had been rekindled. You missed Emily deeply during high school, and living with her felt like a second chance to reconnect and make up for lost time. 

But the reason for your reunion weighed heavily on you. You were so happy to be living with Emily again, until you remembered why. Some nights, the memories—or lack thereof—were overwhelming, and you’d find yourself crying silently into your pillow, grieving for the life you learned about but couldn’t recall. You mourned for the person you once were, the experiences you’d lost, and the love you had built with Spencer, a man who was now a stranger in your life.

In those darker moments, a part of you wondered if a second accident could somehow reverse the damage, though you knew deep down that it wouldn’t work. The thought was fleeting, a desperate whisper in your mind, quickly silenced by the knowledge that the path to healing lay elsewhere.

You wanted to love Spencer, you really did. Everything you’d learned about him painted a picture of a man who was kind, intelligent, and deeply devoted to you. But every time you looked at him, all you felt was a sense of apathy and resentment. It was an unfair burden, one you didn’t want to carry but couldn’t seem to shake. He knew you, but you didn’t know him. He had gotten to know the you that you couldn’t remember, had built a life with a version of yourself that no longer existed. 

Safe to say, you hadn’t spoken to anyone but Emily since that day at Spencer’s apartment. Despite Emily’s best efforts to coax you out of your shell, to encourage you to re-engage with the world, you found solace only in her presence. She would suggest small outings, opportunities to reintroduce you to the life you’d lived—a coffee date with Penelope, a lunch with Noah, a casual dinner with the BAU team—but you declined each invitation with a sense of dread.

—

Emily understood your reluctance, though she worried about the isolation you were imposing on yourself. She was patient, never pushing too hard, but she tried her best to gently encourage you to take those first steps toward reconnecting with your life.

"Y/N," she said one afternoon as you both sat in the living room, the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. "I know it’s hard, but you have so many people who care about you. They’re all here, ready to support you whenever you’re ready."

You nodded, your eyes fixed on the floor. “I know,” you replied softly, your voice tinged with frustration and sadness. “I just... I don’t know how to face them, Emily. It’s like they’re expecting me to be someone I’m not.”

Emily reached over, taking your hand in hers, her grip reassuring. “They’re not expecting anything,” she said gently. “They just want to be there for you, to help you find your way back. And you don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be with you.”

Despite her words, the idea of facing Spencer or any of your friends felt daunting. It wasn’t just about remembering; it was about rebuilding a sense of self that had been shattered by the accident. You felt like a puzzle with missing pieces, unsure of how to fit back into the picture of your own life.

—

One night, as you lay in bed, the weight of it all pressed heavily on your chest. You stared at the ceiling, the darkness a mirror to the emptiness you felt inside. The person you were before the accident seemed like a ghost, haunting the edges of your consciousness, taunting you with glimpses of a life you couldn’t quite grasp.

Tears slipped silently down your cheeks as you grieved for the life you’d lost, for the love that was now a distant memory. It felt like an insurmountable chasm between the past and present, a gap you couldn’t bridge no matter how hard you tried.

You curled up under the covers, wishing for relief from the emotional storm, longing for a sense of belonging that remained elusive. But as much as you yearned for the past, you knew the journey to healing had to start from where you were now—from this moment, with its uncertainties and challenges.

Emily found you the next morning, the traces of tears still visible on your face. She didn’t say anything, simply pulled you into a hug, offering her silent support. You leaned into her embrace, grateful for the unconditional love and understanding she provided.

“I’m here, Y/N,” Emily murmured, her voice steady and reassuring. “Whenever you’re ready to take that next step, I’m here.”

—

On a random Tuesday morning, you regained a glimpse of yourself. It was an ordinary day, the sun barely peeking over the horizon as you padded into the kitchen, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. Emily was already there, pouring herself a cup and offering you a warm smile as you entered.

"Good morning," she said, her voice carrying the comforting tone you had come to rely on over the past few weeks.

“Did I bring any files home?” you asked, the question slipping out naturally as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “I want to review the Cooper case.”

Emily whipped around so fast she thought she might get whiplash, her eyes wide with shock and a glimmer of hope. “What did you just say?” she asked, her voice almost trembling with anticipation.

“The Cooper case?” you repeated, frowning slightly as you tried to grasp the memory that felt just within reach. “Oh, I wanted to review the evidence for the upcoming trial. I want to make sure that son of a bitch gets locked away.”

Emily’s face lit up with astonishment and disbelief, a slow grin spreading across her features. “Y/N… how do you remember that?” she asked, her voice tinged with awe.

“What?” you blinked, the realization dawning on you like a gentle wave, the fog lifting ever so slightly. “Oh…” you murmured, the pieces clicking into place.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! I remember!” you exclaimed, your heart pounding with excitement and relief.

“Do you remember anything else?” Emily asked eagerly, stepping closer as if to catch every word.

“My, um, my unit chief… her name is, uh, Sarah Freeman!” you said, a smile breaking across your face as more fragments of memory bubbled to the surface. It was like pulling on a thread and watching a tapestry unfold before your eyes.

“That’s amazing! You’re amazing!” Emily cheered, her eyes shining with pride and joy. She grabbed your hands, squeezing them tightly as if to anchor this precious moment in reality. “I’m going to call your doctor! Keep thinking!”

You nodded, your mind racing with possibilities. There was a thrill in the air, a sense of rediscovery that felt like sunlight streaming into a darkened room. 

—

As the days and weeks passed, your world gradually came into sharper focus. You began to remember more and more, and your doctors believed that your brain was finally healing from the trauma of the accident, allowing you to access information that had been temporarily locked away. It was as if the fog that had settled over your mind was beginning to lift, and the memories of your life were emerging from the shadows.

With each passing day, you started seeing people more. The familiarity of their faces and the warmth of their presence became less overwhelming and more comforting. You remembered small bits of Noah, moving in with Emily, a few girls’ nights, and coffee dates with Penelope. Each memory was like a small gift, a piece of the puzzle that was slowly coming together.

Whenever you shared a memory with someone, it was met with tears of joy and hugs of relief. They were all so patient and understanding, celebrating every little moment of rediscovery with you. It was a testament to the love and support that surrounded you, a constant reminder that you were not alone on this journey.

—

With your birthday approaching, the excitement in the air was palpable. Everyone was thrilled that they would at least get to celebrate with you, even if the memories of past birthdays were still hazy. The anticipation of the party, the chance to be surrounded by the people who meant so much to you, filled you with a sense of hope and gratitude.

The only person you couldn’t seem to remember, however, was Spencer. Despite the progress you were making with others, there was an inexplicable block when it came to him. It was as if the memories you shared were trapped behind a door that refused to open, no matter how hard you tried. 

Spencer felt the weight of this exclusion acutely. While everyone else reveled in your regained memories, he remained on the outside, watching as you reconnected with the life you’d once shared. At first, he tried to be patient, understanding that recovery was a complex and unpredictable process. But as time went on and the memories continued to elude you, Spencer began to feel a growing frustration, a simmering resentment that he struggled to contain.

—

The night of your birthday party arrived, and Emily had invited everyone important to you: the BAU team, Noah, your unit chief, and colleagues. The apartment was filled with laughter and music, the air buzzing with the joy of celebration. You moved through the crowd, receiving hugs and well-wishes, feeling more like yourself than you had in months.

The party was a joyful affair, filled with the warmth of friends and loved ones, each of them eager to share in the celebration of your continued recovery. You spent time with everyone, enjoying the opportunity to catch up and reconnect. 

You found yourself talking to Derek Morgan, recounting a small memory that had surfaced earlier in the day—a humorous moment from a case your units had worked on together. Derek’s laughter echoed through the room, a rich, joyful sound that drew the attention of others nearby. 

Spencer overheard your conversation with Derek and felt the frustration within him build past his boiling point. It was like a dam breaking, all the emotions he had tried to keep in check spilling over into an overwhelming wave. The exclusion, the constant reminder that you remembered everyone but him, finally pushed him to the edge.

Unable to contain his feelings any longer, Spencer stormed past you, his shoulder bumping into yours as he made his way toward the front door. The suddenness of his actions caught you off guard, the usually sweet and gentle Spencer now a storm of emotions.

“Spencer?” you called after him, confused by the abruptness of his departure. You quickly excused yourself from Derek and followed Spencer, determined to understand what had upset him.

You found Spencer in the hallway of the building, his back turned to you as he tried to compose himself. But when he turned around, you saw the angry tears in his eyes, the hurt etched across his features. It was a side of Spencer you hadn’t seen before, and it unsettled you.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” you asked, your voice gentle but firm, wanting to understand the source of his pain.

He took a deep breath, his emotions churning within him. The question felt like a catalyst, igniting the frustration and hurt he had been holding onto for so long. And then, finally, he exploded, the words tumbling out in a torrent of anger and anguish.

“Why, Y/N?” Spencer’s voice was raw, filled with desperation and resentment. “Why do you remember everyone but me? Do you secretly remember me but don’t know how to break it off, so you keep pretending you don’t know me?”

His accusation hung in the air, sharp and cutting. It was a blow that took your breath away, the depth of his pain evident in every word. Spencer’s eyes bore into yours, searching for answers, for some explanation that could make sense of the exclusion he felt so deeply.

“I’m not pretending, Spencer,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, the shock of his words settling over you like a heavy fog. “I wish I could remember. I want to remember you more than anything.”

Spencer’s expression shifted, hurt and frustration warring within him. He turned away, running a hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. “It just feels like... like I’m the only one left out,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I watch you remember all these moments, all these people, and I keep hoping that one day you’ll look at me and just... know.”

His words hung in the air, each syllable a reminder of the distance that had grown between you—a distance neither of you wanted, but couldn’t seem to bridge. It was like standing on opposite sides of a vast chasm, reaching for one another but never quite able to touch.

“You think this is easy for me?” you shot back, your voice rising with each word. “Do you think I wanted to get hit by a semi and lose my memories? No! I want it all back, I want my life back.” You took a step closer, the intensity of your emotions propelling you forward. “Do you know how much it kills me that you know a version of me that I don’t? You want her back, and so do I, but Jesus Christ, Spencer! I’m not her, I can’t just be her, I’m fucking trying, okay?”

The hallway seemed to close in around you as you stood there, the weight of your words hanging heavy between you. Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise at the raw honesty in your voice, the depth of your struggle laid bare before him.

“I know you’re trying,” Spencer said, his voice softening even as his frustration simmered beneath the surface. “But it’s so hard to watch you remember everyone else and not me. It feels like I’m losing you all over again, every single day.”

"I’m losing myself too!” you replied, your voice breaking with emotion. “Every time I remember something, it’s like I’m meeting a stranger who’s supposed to be me. It’s terrifying, and I don’t know how to make it better. And it doesn’t help when I’m constantly reminded that you’re disappointed in me too.”

Spencer ran a hand over his face, his own anger and hurt warring with the compassion he still felt for you. He wanted to say the right thing, but his emotions were tangled, pulling him in different directions. The frustration that had built up over the weeks finally met the compassion he still felt for you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, the fight leaving his voice as he took a step back, trying to regain control. His eyes softened as he looked at you, the anger giving way to vulnerability. “I know it’s not fair to put this on you. God, I’m not disappointed in you, I’m just... I’m scared, Y/N. I’m scared that I’ll never get you back.”

The vulnerability in his words pierced through your own defenses, the rawness of his confession echoing the fears that had plagued you both. It was as if the anger that had fueled the argument had stripped away the layers, leaving only the truth of your shared fears and insecurities.

You sighed, your own anger giving way to a wave of exhaustion and sadness. The argument had drained you both, leaving behind a hollow ache that you couldn’t ignore. “I’m scared too,” you admitted, your voice trembling as you spoke. “I’m scared that I’ll never be able to remember the love we had, that I’ll never be able to be the person you fell in love with.”

Spencer's eyes met yours, and you could see the struggle within him—the longing to reach out and bridge the gap between you, the desire to hold onto the love that had once been so strong and certain. “You’re still the person I fell in love with,” he said softly, his voice tinged with desperation. “I know it’s hard to see right now, but you are. And I don’t want to lose you, even if it means starting over.”

His words hung in the air, a lifeline thrown across the chasm that had opened between you. You took a deep breath, the weight of his words. 

“Can I ask you something?” Spencer spoke up, his voice laced with vulnerability. His eyes held yours, searching for an answer he seemed afraid to hear but needed to know nonetheless.

“Of course,” you replied, curious about what was weighing so heavily on him. You wanted to reassure him, to offer some comfort amid the storm of emotions that had engulfed you both.

“Do you find me attractive?” Spencer’s question was simple, yet it held a complexity of emotions—self-doubt, insecurity, a desire for reassurance.

“Spencer… what?” you asked, taken aback by the suddenness of his inquiry. You hadn’t expected that question, and yet, as you looked at him, you realized how important your answer would be.

He shifted his weight, his gaze dropping for a moment before returning to yours, the raw honesty in his expression clear as day. “Do you think that I am attractive? Even now, that you don’t remember me?”

You considered his question carefully. Spencer was undeniably an attractive person—his features were striking, with a gentle kindness in his eyes and a quiet strength in his posture. There was an undeniable allure to him, a magnetic pull that you felt even in your current state of confusion. 

You imagined seeing him in a bar or a crowded room, where his presence would stand out, where you would undoubtedly look twice. His intelligence, the way he carried himself with quiet confidence, and the kindness in his eyes were all qualities that would draw you in.

“Yes,” you replied honestly, your voice steady and sincere. “Yes, Spencer, I find you attractive.”

Spencer let out a small breath he seemed to have been holding, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he absorbed your answer. There was a flicker of relief in his eyes, a subtle shift that spoke volumes about how much your opinion mattered to him.

“Thank you,” he said softly, his voice a blend of gratitude and something deeper, something that felt like hope.

You took a step closer, wanting to close the distance between you. “Spencer, it’s not just about looks,” you added, wanting to make him understand. “I may not remember everything, but I can see the person you are. The way you care, the way you’ve been so patient with me… that’s what makes you truly attractive.”

His lips curved into a tentative smile, the tension in his features easing as your words reached him. It was a smile that held the promise of new beginnings, a shared understanding that even in the absence of memory, there was a foundation upon which you could rebuild.

Spencer nodded, a small chuckle escaping him as he rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture you found endearing. “I guess I just needed to hear it,” he admitted, his vulnerability laid bare in that moment.

You nodded, reaching out to take his hand in yours. “We’ll figure it out,” you said, your voice filled with determination.

Spencer's fingers intertwined with yours, his touch gentle yet reassuring. The simple act of holding hands felt like a small victory, a step toward rebuilding the connection that had been so abruptly severed.

“You couldn’t possibly remember this,” Spencer said with a wry smile, “but I don’t usually touch people’s hands. It’s actually safer to kiss; fewer germs are spread that way.”

You let out a laugh, the tension between you dissolving into a moment of lightness. It was the first genuine laugh you'd shared since the accident, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. 

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” you replied, raising an eyebrow with a teasing grin. “But if that’s a line, it’s not working.”

Spencer chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “It’s not a line, I promise,” he said, a hint of mischief in his tone. “Just one of those strange facts about me you’ll probably hear more about as you get to know me again.”

“Good to know,” you said, your smile softening into something more sincere. “But for now, hand-holding is just fine.”

—

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter and joy, a celebration not just of your birthday but of the progress you had made and the hope that lay ahead. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, you felt a sense of belonging, a reminder that even in the midst of adversity, there was a community that held you close.

As the night drew to a close, you and Spencer stood together on the balcony, the city lights twinkling in the distance like stars. It was a moment of quiet reflection, a chance to breathe and appreciate the small victories that had brought you to this point.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Spencer said softly, his voice carrying a warmth that resonated deep within you. 

You turned to him, your heart full of gratitude and the promise of what was to come. “Thank you, Spencer,” you replied, your words laced with sincerity.

—

“Y/N! Spencer is here for you!” Emily called out from the living room, her voice carrying through the apartment with an excited lilt that made you smile.

You were in your bedroom, putting the finishing touches on your outfit, excitement and nervousness fluttering in your stomach. Today marked your fifth date with Spencer, a milestone that felt both exhilarating and significant as the two of you continued to rebuild your relationship from the ground up.

The past few weeks had been a journey of rediscovery. You and Spencer had taken it slow, giving each other the space and time needed to navigate the complexities of your situation. Each date had been a new beginning, a chance to learn about each other all over again, and it had been going well—better than you had dared to hope.

You’d spent hours talking about everything and nothing, sharing stories and memories that both filled in the gaps and created new ones. There were still moments of hesitation and uncertainty, but they were gradually being replaced by laughter and warmth, a growing sense of familiarity that felt like home.

Taking one last look in the mirror, you adjusted your necklace and took a deep breath, feeling a thrill of anticipation for the evening ahead. You made your way to the living room, where Emily was chatting with Spencer, her eyes lighting up with the kind of mischief only a big sister could muster.

“Hey, Spencer,” you greeted him with a smile, feeling the familiar flutter in your chest that had become a welcome sensation. “Ready to go?”

Spencer turned toward you, his face breaking into a warm smile that made your heart skip a beat. He looked dapper in a casual blazer and slacks, an outfit that struck the perfect balance between relaxed and stylish.

“Wow, you look amazing,” he said, his eyes filled with admiration as he took in your appearance. "If I had known you were going to look this stunning, I would have worn my best suit."

You laughed, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, please, you look great," you replied, meeting his gaze with a teasing grin. “Besides, I think we match perfectly. You know, two fashion icons taking on the city."

Emily watched the exchange with a satisfied smile, clearly pleased to see the chemistry between you and Spencer reigniting. She gave you a playful nudge, her eyes sparkling with encouragement. “Have fun, you two,” she said, ushering you toward the door. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes at Emily’s antics, before turning back to Spencer. “Shall we?” you asked, extending your hand toward him.

Spencer took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that sent a reassuring pulse of connection between you. “We shall,” he replied with a grin, leading you out the door and into the evening that awaited.

—

The drive was filled with easy conversation, the kind that flowed naturally and effortlessly between you. You chatted about everything from work to your favorite TV shows, reveling in the comfort of each other’s company.

“So, where are we going tonight?” you asked, curious about the plans Spencer had made for your date.

“It’s a surprise,” he said cryptically, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “But I think you’re going to love it.”

“Really?” you said, raising an eyebrow with a playful smirk. “Are you sure it’s not just another one of your ploys to impress me?”

Spencer chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Would it be working if it was?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” you teased, giving him a flirtatious glance as the car continued through the city.

Eventually, you arrived at a charming little restaurant tucked away in a quiet corner of the city. It was the kind of place that exuded warmth and intimacy, the cozy ambiance inviting you in as soon as you stepped through the door.

“Wow, this place is lovely,” you said, taking in the dim lighting, the soft music playing in the background, and the delicious aroma of Italian cuisine wafting through the air.

Spencer smiled, clearly pleased with your reaction. “I thought it might be a nice spot for us to relax and enjoy some good food,” he said, leading you to a table by the window that offered a view of the city lights twinkling in the distance.

“So, any more memories come back recently?” Spencer asked gently, his tone curious yet considerate, as if he knew the subject was still delicate.

You nodded, feeling a flicker of excitement as you recounted some of the fragments that had returned. “I remembered a trip I took with Emily last year to the beach. We ended up getting caught in a rainstorm and had to take cover in this little café, where we spent the afternoon playing board games. It was such a fun day.”

Spencer listened intently, a smile tugging at his lips as you spoke. “That sounds amazing,” he said, his eyes filled with warmth and understanding. “You know, we had a similar rainy day adventure once. It involved an umbrella, a very wet cat, and an impromptu rendition of Singin’ in the Rain in a park.”

“Did we now?” you replied, a playful twinkle in your eyes. “Are you sure you weren’t just trying to get me to fall for your charming rendition of a classic?”

“Guilty as charged,” Spencer admitted with a laugh, his gaze meeting yours with a sincerity that made your heart flutter.

“Tell me, though, did we kiss in the rain?” you asked, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

Spencer blushed, a charming pink spreading across his cheeks. “We might have…”

“How scandalous!” you replied, feigning shock, but the playful glint in your eyes gave you away.

“You were the one who initiated it!” Spencer shot back, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Oh yeah, am I just supposed to believe you?” you teased, leaning back in your chair with a smirk. “You could be making it all up just to impress me.”

“Well,” Spencer said, a hint of mischief in his voice, “it is supposed to rain later. We could test out the theory.”

“Spencer Reid, you dog!” you exclaimed, laughing at the thought of dancing in the rain with him.

You shared a laugh, the sound mingling with the gentle hum of the restaurant around you. It felt like the world had faded away, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble of happiness.

—

After dinner, you and Spencer strolled through a scenic path in the park, hand in hand. The night was pleasantly cool, and the stars dotted the sky like scattered jewels. The conversation between you flowed effortlessly, a blend of teasing and genuine connection that made the evening feel special.

“I thought it was supposed to rain?” you mused aloud, glancing up at the sky.

“Are you disappointed it’s not?” Spencer asked, a playful edge in his voice as he followed your gaze.

“Are you going to kiss me anyway?” you replied with a teasing smile, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

Spencer froze up for a moment, caught off guard by the boldness of your question. A myriad of thoughts raced through his mind, each one tangling with the next. 

He had been nervous to make any moves on you ever since you’d started dating again. What if you didn’t like how he kissed anymore? Or his scent, or taste? What if you two didn't have rhythm anymore? The fear of these possibilities had kept him in check, cautious and tentative.

“What’s going on in that big brain?” you asked, your voice gentle and full of curiosity. You squeezed his hand, bringing him back to the present. Your touch was reassuring, a reminder that the connection between you was as strong as ever.

Spencer shook his head slightly, chuckling at himself. “Just... overthinking, as usual,” he admitted, meeting your eyes with a sheepish grin. “I’ve just been worried that maybe things aren’t the same between us.”

You tilted your head, regarding him with a soft smile. “Spencer, nothing about you could ever disappoint me. We might be rebuilding things, but I think that’s what makes it exciting. We get to discover everything all over again.”

He nodded, his apprehension slowly melting away as your words resonated with him. The sincerity in your voice was like a balm, soothing the insecurities that had plagued him.

“And besides,” you added with a playful twinkle in your eye, “I think we both know we’ve still got that spark.”

Spencer laughed, his tension finally breaking as he took a step closer. The warmth of your presence enveloped him, and he realized how much he had missed these moments with you—the teasing, the laughter, and the unspoken bond that seemed to transcend the gap of memory.

“You’re right,” Spencer said, his voice softening as he gazed into your eyes. “I’d be more than happy to kiss you, rain or no rain.”

You smiled up at him, your heart fluttering with anticipation. As he leaned in, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you beneath the starlit sky.

When Spencer’s lips met yours, it was like coming home. The kiss was gentle at first, a tentative exploration of the familiar territory that quickly blossomed into something deeper. His lips were soft and warm, and the familiar scent of his skin surrounded you like a comforting embrace. 

All the previous worries melted away as you found your rhythm together, the familiarity and connection more than you could have hoped for. Spencer’s kiss was tender but charged with an intensity that made your heart race, a reminder of the passion and warmth that had always been at the core of your relationship.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, feeling the subtle tension in his muscles beneath your fingertips. Spencer responded in kind, his hands finding their place on your face, drawing you into him as if he was afraid to let go. 

The kiss deepened, and it was as if time had stopped, the world around you fading away until only the two of you remained. Lips slotted together perfectly, tongues gliding in a slow, sensual dance that sent shivers down your spine. 

You felt Spencer’s teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip, a playful gesture that made you gasp softly against his mouth. The small sound seemed to spur him on, and you could feel the gentle pressure of his hands pulling you even closer, until there was no space left between you. 

In that moment, everything felt right—the way his lips moved against yours, the warmth of his touch, and the gentle thrum of your heartbeat syncing with his. It was a moment of pure connection, a dance of lips and breath and emotion that left you both feeling dizzy and alive. 

You could feel the tension and uncertainty of the past few weeks melting away, replaced by a deep sense of belonging and peace. As you finally pulled back, you looked into Spencer’s eyes, seeing your own emotions reflected back at you—the warmth, the longing, the hope that you both shared.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless but smiling, the shared moment leaving a lingering warmth that seemed to wrap around you both.

“Wow,” you murmured, gazing up at Spencer with a soft, genuine smile. “That was... perfect.”

Spencer chuckled, relief and joy evident in his eyes. “I’d say it was pretty amazing,” he agreed, still holding you close.

You both lingered there for a while, savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment, the cool breeze whispering through the trees, the world feeling just a little bit brighter.

—

As you continued your stroll through the park, the clouds did open up, and the rain did come, soaking both you and Spencer. The unexpected shower was a sudden thrill, droplets of water cascading down your hair and cheeks, drenching your clothes in moments. The rain brought a fresh, invigorating scent to the air, wrapping around you like a cool embrace as you and Spencer burst into laughter.

“You said you wanted rain,” Spencer quipped, looking at you with a playful glint in his eye, water droplets clinging to his hair and eyelashes.

“I did, didn’t I?” you giggled, brushing a lock of wet hair out of your face. You both sprinted toward his car, shoes splashing through puddles, the sound of your laughter mingling with the rhythm of the rain.

You reached the car, breathless and exhilarated, climbing inside and closing the door behind you. The heated air enveloped you both in a welcome warmth, and you shivered slightly, feeling the chill of your soaked clothes. 

Spencer turned on the car’s heater, and soon the air filled with warmth, contrasting the rain still pelting the car roof outside. You shared a look of amusement, the shared adventure bringing a delightful sense of connection.

“I don’t want to go home, but I’m uncomfortable,” you admitted, glancing down at your soaked clothes with a bemused smile. 

“We could… go back to our—my apartment and change. Maybe watch a movie?” Spencer suggested, his voice soft and inviting, a hint of hesitation in his words as if worried you might say no.

You met his eyes, the warmth in them offering reassurance. “I’d love that,” you replied, your heart fluttering with the anticipation of spending more time with him.

—

Spencer drove you both back to the apartment, the windshield wipers swishing rhythmically as the rain continued its steady drumming against the car. It was your first time returning to the apartment since the night you’d cried there, overwhelmed by the weight of memories you couldn’t quite grasp. But now, the thought of revisiting felt different, less daunting and more like a step forward.

As you entered the apartment, you paused to take it all in again—the familiar scent, the little touches that made the space feel like home. Spencer watched you with a gentle smile, allowing you to explore at your own pace, offering silent support as you reacquainted yourself with the surroundings.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Spencer asked, breaking the comfortable silence. “All of your stuff is still in there.”

“Um, sure. Thank you,” you replied, grateful for the chance to shake off the chill of the rain.

You made your way to the bathroom, feeling a sense of nostalgia as you stepped inside and closed the door behind you. The shower was just as you remembered it, a familiar haven of warmth and comfort.

The water was soothing as it cascaded over you, washing away the rain and the lingering remnants of the day’s adventure. You felt a sense of relaxation settling in, a quiet moment of peace as you let the warmth envelop you.

But then, as you turned too quickly, your foot slipped, and you fell onto your tailbone with a startled yelp. 

“Ow!” you exclaimed, wincing at the sudden jolt of pain.

“Y/N?? Are you okay?” Spencer’s voice called out from the other side of the door, filled with concern.

“Yeah! I just fell,” you called back, trying to keep your tone light despite the embarrassment.

“I’m coming in,” Spencer announced, the worry evident in his voice.

“Wait, Spencer, no—” you began, but he was already in the bathroom, eyes wide as he took in the scene.

He saw your naked form on the ground of the tub through the clear glass, his expression filled with worry and, perhaps, just a touch of awkwardness.

“Spencer!” you exclaimed, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment and amusement.

“What happened? Are you hurt? Did you hit your head?” he asked, his concern overriding any sense of propriety.

“I’m fine, I’m naked!” you replied, laughing at the absurdity of the situation even as you tried to cover yourself.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Spencer said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “I forget. I’ve seen you naked many times.”

“That is so weird,” you teased, rolling your eyes playfully.

Spencer laughed lightly, his eyes twinkling with warmth. “I don’t think so,” he said, his voice softening into something more tender.

“Can I see you then? Even it out?” you asked, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

“What?” Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, his cheeks flushing a delightful shade of pink.

“I’ve seen you naked before, right?” you continued, your playful tone belying the genuine affection in your gaze.

“Well, yes, but it’s different,” Spencer stammered, trying to maintain his composure.

“So it’s okay for you to see me, but not for me to see you?” you challenged, a teasing lilt in your voice. “Come get in the shower and help me up.”

Spencer hesitated for a moment, then his expression softened into a smile, affection and delight playing across his features. “Alright,” he said, his voice filled with laughter. “Just this once.”

He quickly shed his clothes and joined you in the shower, his presence a comforting warmth amid the steam and water. With a gentle touch, he helped you up, his hands steady and reassuring as he held you close.

“Thank you,” you said softly, meeting his eyes with a smile. 

Spencer’s gaze was warm and tender, his hands lingering on your waist as he smiled back at you. “Anytime,” he replied, his voice a gentle promise. 

Your eyes couldn’t help themselves as they wandered downward, taking in the sight of him. The realization that you were both standing there, unashamedly bare, brought a new kind of awareness that was both amusing and endearing.

“Y/N!” Spencer laughed. “Eyes up here.”

“I'm sorry,” you said with a playful smirk, your eyes darting back up to meet his. “It’s human nature, after all.”

“I know,” Spencer replied, shaking his head with a chuckle. “But at least pretend to be subtle.”

“You’re quite large,” you teased, unable to resist the opportunity to keep the mood light. “Are you a grower still? Or always a shower?”

Spencer’s cheeks flushed a deep red, his hands instinctively moving to cover himself as he groaned, “Oh my godddd.”

“Answer the question, and I’ll shut up,” you promised, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you looked at him with mock innocence.

With a sigh of resignation, Spencer removed his hands, his expression a mix of bashfulness and humor. “Still a grower,” he admitted, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.

“Lucky me!” you exclaimed, your tone full of playful triumph.

Spencer shook his head, his laughter infectious as he declared, “Not anymore, this was great. Goodbye!” He made a half-hearted attempt to step out of the shower, clearly feigning an exaggerated exit.

“Not so fast!” you interjected, grabbing his arm and pulling him back gently, your own laughter bubbling up as you did so.

His eyes met yours again, and the playful banter settled into something softer, a mutual understanding that transcended words. The silliness of the moment gave way to a quiet intimacy, the kind that came from truly seeing one another and finding joy in simply being together.

As the water continued to rain down, you and Spencer stood there, wrapped in each other’s presence, feeling a sense of comfort and safety that went beyond the physical. 

You both eventually turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, towels wrapped snugly around you. The steam-filled bathroom felt like a private world where the rest of the day’s worries faded away.

—

Once dried and dressed in cozy clothes, you settled into the living room, the aroma of freshly brewed tea wafting through the air as you curled up on the couch together. The rain had stopped outside, leaving a soft patter of droplets against the windows, the perfect backdrop for a cozy movie night.

Spencer draped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. “So, what’s our viewing pleasure tonight?” he asked, his voice filled with a relaxed contentment.

“I was thinking something classic,” you suggested, snuggling into his side. “Maybe a bit of Casablanca?”

“Casablanca, it is,” Spencer agreed, reaching for the remote with a smile.

As the movie played, you found yourself not only immersed in the storyline but also in the warmth of Spencer’s presence beside you. The shared laughter, the gentle teasing, the comfortable silence—it all felt like home.

—

You don’t remember falling asleep, but when you wake up, you find yourself nestled in the bed, no longer on the couch. The room is softly lit with the early morning sun filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow over everything. Spencer is still sound asleep next to you, his arms wrapped around you in a protective embrace. His breathing is steady and calm, and you watch him for a moment, feeling a rush of affection for this man who has been so patient and kind through everything.

Wanting to do something kind for him, you slowly and carefully extricate yourself from his embrace, trying not to wake him. You slip out of bed, pulling on his robe as you head to the kitchen to make some coffee, a small gesture of appreciation for the many times he’s been there for you.

As you move about the kitchen, the familiar routine of making coffee brings a sense of comfort. You smile to yourself as you measure out the coffee grounds and water, the rich aroma filling the air. It feels good to be doing something for him, even if it’s just a small gesture.

When Spencer finally wakes up, the smell of freshly brewed coffee lures him from the cocoon of blankets. In his sleep-delirious haze, he doesn’t realize anything has changed, and he instinctively walks into the kitchen, still half-asleep, and wraps his arms around you from behind.

“Morning, Spence,” you say softly, feeling the warmth of his embrace as you continue to stir the coffee.

“Mmm, good morning, baby,” he mumbles into your hair, his voice thick with sleep.

“I made your coffee, just how you like it,” you say with a smile, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the little surprise you’ve prepared for him.

“Black, seven teaspoons of sugar?” he asks, his voice carrying a note of playful suspicion.

“Precisely,” you reply, leaning back to kiss his head where it’s nestled against your neck. You love the way his hair feels soft and slightly tousled from sleep, the familiarity of the moment wrapping around you like a warm embrace.

Spencer hums contentedly, the combination of your affection and the promise of coffee stirring him more fully awake. You hand him a steaming mug, and he takes a grateful sip, savoring the sweet warmth.

“Thought we could call Diana today, check in on her progress,” you suggest casually, remembering the conversations you’ve had about keeping in touch with his mom.

Spencer’s mind is still catching up to the morning, the mention of his mother registering slowly. “Okay, that’s a good id–wait… what?” His eyes widen as he pulls back slightly, looking at you with surprise and hope.

“Diana, babe? Your mom? I haven’t talked to her in a while, and I wanted to see how she was doing,” you say, turning to face him, your own excitement bubbling beneath the surface.

“Y/N, are you messing with me?” Spencer asks, his voice a blend of disbelief and anticipation, as if he’s afraid to hope too much.

“No… Are you okay, Spence?” you ask gently, reaching up to touch his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly over his skin. 

“Spence? My coffee preference? My mom?” Spencer’s eyes search yours, an array of emotions flickering across his face. “What are you not telling me?”

You smile, unable to contain your excitement any longer. “Oh, I woke up this morning with a few memories of our time together.”

Spencer’s eyes widen, his expression shifting from confusion to pure joy. “You remember?” he asks, voice filled with a hopeful wonder that sends a warm thrill through you.

“Bits and pieces,” you admit, nodding as you set your own coffee down on the counter. “It’s like little snapshots coming back, but they’re there. And you were in them.”

His face lights up with a brilliant smile, the kind that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners and sends warmth flooding through you. “That’s amazing, Y/N,” he says, pulling you into a tight embrace, his arms enveloping you completely.

You melt into his hug, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. It’s a moment of connection and triumph, a small victory in the long journey of reclaiming the life you once shared.

“I’m so happy,” Spencer murmurs, his voice muffled by your hair but no less filled with emotion. “I’ve missed you—every version of you.”

You pull back slightly, meeting his gaze with a smile that mirrors his own. “I’ve missed you too, Spence. I can’t wait to see what else comes back.”

Spencer leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. His touch was a gentle reassurance that you were exactly where you were meant to be, a soothing balm to the uncertainty that had lingered since the accident. The warmth of his lips against your skin sent a wave of comfort through you, a reminder that love was a constant, waiting patiently to be remembered.

“I love you,” Spencer murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with sincerity and a gentle vulnerability. “Can I say that now? Is that okay?”

His eyes searched yours, seeking not just permission but a confirmation that the love you once shared was finding its way back, stronger and more resilient than before.

“Only if it’s okay for me to say I love you too,” you replied, your voice soft but filled with the depth of emotion that had grown in your heart. 

The words were a quiet declaration, an acknowledgment of the bond that had endured through the haze of forgotten memories and the challenges of the past. It was a promise of the future you were eager to explore together, a future built on the foundation of love and understanding.

Spencer’s smile widened, his eyes sparkling with a joy that mirrored your own. “Then it’s more than okay,” he said, his voice warm and full of affection.

You both stood there for a moment, wrapped in the quiet intimacy of the morning, the aroma of coffee mingling with the soft light filtering through the kitchen. It was a simple moment, yet it held the weight of everything you had been through together, a testament to the resilience of love and the power of memory.

“Come here,” Spencer said, pulling you into another embrace, his arms wrapping around you with a tenderness that spoke volumes.

You leaned into him, resting your head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comforting reminder of the life you were rediscovering together. In that embrace, you found not just comfort but a sense of belonging that had been waiting for you to come home to.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Alex: So what do you like to do for fun around here?

Derek: Sometimes we like to throw shit at Reid

Alex: Who's Reid?

Derek picking something up and throwing it at Spencer: Reid!

[justanoasisimagines]

Love Languages

Hey my lovelies, back with another Headcanon. My requsts are open and my request guidlines are pinned to the top of the page! Credit to cafekitsune for the banner and the divider!

❀Derek is open with his affection. He's affectionate with his friends, family and you. He enjoys greeting you with a hug and a kiss. He wants you and everyone to know his arms are a safe place if they ever need it. ❀Derek enjoys holding you in his arms while you're talking. He enjoys late-night cuddles. ❀Physical touch for Derek is a secret way to display his emotions without having to verbalize them within the moment. Although he's confident in doing that too.

❀This leads to the next love language which is terms of endearment. Derek is very vocal about his feelings toward you. He's going to supply you with endless compliments and terms of endearment. He vocalizes his love for you every day.

❀Derek is always going to boost you up. He's going to give you compliments. He never wants to hear you say a bad word about yourself because it's not true. Derek is always going to see the best of you.

❀Working at the BAU, time can be scarce for Derek, so when he's got any free time he wants to spend it with those who are important to him. Derek spending time with you whether it's going on a date or spending time at home means something to him. It shows he's serious about you. That you're in his inner circle.

❀Derek likes to surprise you with a gift from time. he believes you should be treated above important dates like Valentine's Day or your birthday. So he'll bring you something you'd like from time to time. To see the smile appear on your face. It makes his day.

❀Lastly, regarding acts of Service. Derek loves to do things for you. As long as he's doing things for you, he's happy. He likes to bring your favourite food from the grocery store. Helping you with household duties without being asked. Fixing something, which you've mentioned needs doing. Making you breakfast to share in bed whenever he can. The list can go on.

❀Sometimes the smallest behaviors or actions can prove to someone how much you love. Derek understands and acknowledges that. Acts of service is one of the love languages he relies on the most.

[astrophileous]

Love Bugs (Pt. 04)

Pairing: Derek Mogran x Female Reader

Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?

Warning(s): kidnapping, stalker/psychopathic behaviors, reader is being held captive, curse words (? - idk if there are any in this part but just in case), violent use of knife, tell me if I miss anything xx

Word Count: 1900-ish

Tag(s): @camilaheroine

Author's Note: I KNOW it seems like the chapters are getting shorter and shorter but I promise you it's because these last two ones are essentially mood-setters for the next big, prominent parts in the series. Sooo hang in there and I promise you'll get some juicy stuff on the new part on Thursday ;) meanwhile, don't forget to LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG to fuel me into making more chapters (especially if you reblog or comment 💞)

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

Last night, Derek was finally able to sleep for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

He had lost count of the many nights he spent tossing and turning, reaching for his phone with the intention of calling your number just to fling the device across the room before his thumb could press the call button. He would trick himself into thinking that whatever he needed to say could wait until the next day at work, only to be tongue-tied any time both of your paths would cross.

Derek Morgan had always been a courageous man. He had even proven that he would gladly give his life to hold the hand of someone sitting on top of a bomb if it meant that person wouldn't leave this world alone.

But when it came to you, Derek was an utterly, foolishly, shameful piece of coward.

"Good morning, everyone." Hotch's greeting broke Derek out of his stupor. "Let's start the day, shall we?"

"(Y/N) isn't here yet," Emily spoke up from beside him. At the mention of your name, Derek's ears instantly perked up. "Should I call her?"

Hotch stared at the empty chair where you were supposed to sit, seemingly deep in his thoughts before answering, "It's alright, I'll catch her up later myself. Shall we begin?"

The first to present their findings were JJ and Emily.

"We found something interesting while talking to the second victim's roommate yesterday," JJ began. "Apparently, the victim had been seeing some guy for the past few weeks before she disappeared."

"Why wasn't this information in our files?" Hotch frowned.

"Because our victim only disclosed this once to one of her friends at school that we didn't get to interview the first time around," Emily answered. "The roommate only just found out after they bumped into each other a couple of weeks ago."

"That's good. It's definitely a start. Gather everything you know about the date and send the information to Garcia. Maybe she can give us a list of potential suspects from there," Hotch ordered.

"Already done." JJ nodded.

"Okay, next. Reid, did you--"

"Sir?"

The sound from the doorway interrupted Hotch before he could even begin to voice his question out loud. Every head in that room turned towards Penelope standing in the doorway, a panic-stricken expression decorating her usually cheery face.

"What's up, Garcia?" Hotch questioned.

"Another package just arrived, sir," she informed nervously. "It's our UnSub."

Hotch abruptly got up from his seat. "Did you get a chance to take a look at the video yet?"

"I-It's not a video tape, sir."

"What is it, Garcia?" Rossi asked.

"It's a flashdrive." She cleared her throat. "I, uh, did a routine check to make sure that it didn't contain any viruses. Not like it matters. I probably could still access the files if he had used the common accessible viruses in the market. Thankfully, though, there wasn't a single virus in it. Which, of course, made my job a whole lot easier--"

"Garcia," Hotch warned.

"Yes? Right, right. I'm sorry, sir. What I meant to say is that the flashdrive didn't have any kinds of virus." Garcia started playing with her fingers, a physical tell which Derek knew could only mean that she was feeling anxious. "But I think you guys should see this."

Everyone scrambled from their seats to follow Garcia out of the conference room. In the middle of the bullpen, a large projector had been set up, its large screen covering the vast area of one of the walls.

"Garcia," Hotch called in confusion. "You said that it wasn't a video tape."

"It's not, sir," Garcia choked out. Her glasses-rimmed eyes taking in the sight of the hunched figure on the screen, seated on a chair in what looked like an abandoned building similar to the one they found in the first video. "This is streaming live."

"What?" Emily muttered in shock.

"This is right now?" Hotch asked, to which Garcia answered with a series of rapid nods.

"He's finally chosen his next victim," Reid commented under his breath.

"Wait, look. She's waking up," JJ pointed out.

Every pair of eyes in the room watched as the figure started to stir. When she finally lifted her head, the entire universe seemed to stand still.

Somewhere in the room, Derek heard somebody gasp.

"No."

Derek shook his head in denial. His eyes blinking rapidly to clear the fog that had started to gather in his vision. For a second there, Derek had hoped that maybe he was just seeing things. Maybe the guilt he had continuously hoarded over the past few weeks had at last caught up to him, playing cruel tricks to his mind that made him believe he was seeing things that weren't real.

When he managed to open his eyes again, Derek realized that the scene in front of him was not the product of his overly heinous imagination.

Because the figure being tied down on the chair in that video was, in fact, you.

"That's... That's not--"

"That's (Y/N)," Reid uttered in disbelief, finishing the sentence that Derek couldn't get out due to the strangled air in his throat.

Derek's legs gave out underneath him. Before he could fall helplessly to the ground, the desk behind him caught most of his body weight, ensuring that he would stay standing despite the paralysis that had begun attacking his entire limbs.

His worst nightmare had just come true.

And Derek, for the first time in his life, finally knew what a pure, unadulterated terror felt like.

The insufferable pain was the first thing you registered when you opened your eyes.

Chronic migraines were a condition that had always run in your family. Your mother had them when she was alive. You started having them when you were in high school. At their worst, the migraines you had to endure were unbearable. They became insanely painful at times that you didn't even have the capacity to get out of bed.

But this headache was definitely worse. So much worse.

You blinked your eyes once, twice, three times in an attempt to clear the white threads in your vision. When your eyes had refocused enough for you to see without feeling like you were about to topple over, you began to take in your surroundings.

The room was humid and dark. The small ventilations to your right told you that the sun was already up, meaning that you were passed out all night long. With a few hours had passed since you were last conscious to the moment you woke up, there was no way to estimate the exact location to which your captor had taken you.

As your eyes swept over the large expanse of moldy dark concrete, they caught sight of a device being mounted on the wall.

A camera.

He was watching you.

The dread was quick to sink in your stomach. The camera meant that your captor had been watching your every move. And if he truly had, it was only a matter of time before he would pay a visit after learning that you had regained your consciousness.

As if he had been rummaging through your mind himself, you heard the sound of a metal door opening barely a few minutes later.

His presence reeked of atrocity. The sound of his heavy footsteps echoed to the background sound of malice, promising all things devilish to anyone who ever caught a wind of it. You watched him appear from the darkness. All black attire--complete with a black ski mask--to cover his true identity. But even with nearly his whole face hidden, the cruel promise in his eyes alone was enough to make you shiver in place.

"Good morning, Agent (Y/L/N). You were asleep a lot longer than I thought you'd be."

You unconsciously tugged at the restrains that bound you to the chair.

"I saw your message for me, Agent. Did you like my gift?"

"The video tape. That was you?"

His eyes crinkled in the corner as if he was elated at the idea of you receiving the so-called gift he had prepared.

"You liked it?" he almost purred. "I knew you would. I knew you were different from the others. I saw you up there and I just knew that you were the one I was looking for."

"Of course. Thank you so much for such a special gift."

You knew the profile had stated that the UnSub loved attention, meaning that he also seeked validation and compliance from his victims. Trying to fight him would only result in catastrophe. Especially after considering that the video tape he sent showed apparent signs of unpredictable devolving from his organized self. He was intelligent enough to know if you ever tried to trick him, so your best bet at that moment was to play along with his fantasy and hoped that it would give you additional time to figure out a more elaborated plan of action.

"You already know my name, but I still don't know yours. What should I call you?"

The UnSub pondered your curiosity in the silence. "You don't remember me?"

His question baffled you.

His reaction implied that you must have crossed paths with him, somewhere, somehow, during the weeks that had passed since the press conference.

That knowledge alone had dread stirring higher in your gut.

"I'm sorry." You quickly tried to rectify the situation. "It's dark in here, and you're wearing that mask. A-and my head, it's throbbing really bad. Kinda makes it difficult to see or recognize anything. Or anyone."

Thankfully, he seemed to find your excuse acceptable. "You can call me Darling."

"Darling?" You hid the instant repulsion in your voice at the nickname. "Is that really your name?"

Booming laughter filled the room, chilling your bones and activating every fight or flight response in your body. The mirth in his eyes caused you to feel as if you had just delivered the biggest joke of the century by asking him that last question.

"No, it's not my real name," he let out after seemingly pleased by your accidental jab in humor. "Darling is what we are to each other. You'll be my Darling and I'll be yours. Forever."

Forever.

You ignored how that one single word ignited a massive turbulence in your bloodstream.

"Is that why you took all of those women?" you asked cautiously. "You were looking for your Darling?"

"Yes. But let's not worry about that anymore. I've got you, now." He stalked over to you then, taking your chin between his fingers and forcing you to stare into his eyes. "None of the others are as worthy as you, Darling. We are going to have so much fun together."

You inwardly cringed while imagining what exactly the type of "fun" he might have meant.

"I have a surprise waiting for us to commemorate our first day together," he suddenly told you.

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

He reached around his back before pulling out a dagger that he began to twirl in his hand. The sharp point of its metallic blade blinded you as your captor moved around your tied up body, stalking at every angle as if you were a prey he wanted to shred to pieces.

Eventually, his steps halted behind the chair you were tied to, rooting you in place with one hand on your shoulder while the other pressed the tip of the dagger to your jaw.

"Smile at the camera, Darling," he whispered behind your ear. "We have an audience."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your team is watching," he informed between his dark snickers. "Let's make sure the show is worth their time, shall we?"