#depressed!dan

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Depressed!Dan Masterlist

Absolutely Lovely (ao3) - Autumn_Kismet

Summary: His friends and family think he’s acting strange, they’re worried that he’s depressed again, but Dan doesn’t see it. The only thing he sees is the new guy at school, the quirky one with the black hair and stunning blue eyes, and that’s bad. So bad… because he likes him, and Dan can’t like him. Dan can’t be gay. He’ll lose his family, he’ll lose his friends… he’ll become just like his father, and that’s the last thing that he wants in the entire world. It’s a scary thought that he doesn’t think will ever go away and if there’s the possibility of that happening, of him becoming the disgusting monster that his father was, or is, then maybe the world is better off without him, regardless of what PJ’s dad, his mum’s new husband, has to say.

A Little Sunshine in Your Soul - tiny-winter-cupcake

Summary: Dan has Seasonal Affective Disorder, more commonly known as seasonal depression, which flares up in the winter. Both he and Phil long for the spring. When spring comes around, however, Dan may have some harbored secrets. But so does Phil.

back down again (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: It's an old habit, one Dan learned years ago and has never quite been able to shake off. Phil's away, his brain is spiralling and the only way he knows to cope is to turn to food.

Bad Days (ao3) - MarriedPhan1234

Summary: Dan is in a pretty brutal depressive episode.

better day (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Dan can’t tell if it’s pain anymore, or if it’s numbness. Because that hurts too.

Change Will Come (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan’s a depressed university student. Phil’s just a cute coffee shop barista who writes notes on Dan’s hot chocolates.

coffee (ao3) - plinth_of_life

Summary: Dan wakes up and knows it will be a bad day. Despite that, he resists Phil’s attempts to help him because today will be different. Today, Dan will care for Phil, even if that means just making him a cup of coffee.

Conjuncture (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: During a 2013 liveshow Phil calls Dan, only to find that Dan’s not in the apartment and has left his phone behind. He’s worried; he’s worried any time Dan does this. A fic about Phil’s attempts to care for Dan before he sought professional help for his depression.

Cuddle Me (ao3) - dip_and_pip_trash

Summary: Dan’s feeling low and just wants to be held. Phil is out at meetings all day, away from home. Dan misses Phil.

Curae (ao3) - phansb

Summary: Dan has a depressive episode in 2013, before Phil knew the name.

Days Like This (ao3) - olrazzzledazzzle

Summary: Days like this: a look into Dan at his lowest point during their tour and how he overcomes (or just rather simply lives with) it.

fuzzy (ao3) - watergator

Summary: Dan is having one of his bad days, and Phil is there to pull him out of it.

grey (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan wakes up in the hole again. phil tries to take care of him, but sometimes not even phil is enough.

Here Without You (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: Phil goes home for mother’s day. Dan doesn’t.

I will run you the sickest bubble bath and have you in bed at 6 p.m. (ao3) - Findus26

Summary: Dan is having a depressive episode and Phil does his best to cheer him up.

Featuring: breakfast, bubbles, and a very special book.

I’ll be the light that you can’t make (ao3) - MANIAvinyl

Summary: There was suddenly a tightness in Phil’s chest, put there by guilt and fear, and he couldn’t find the words to respond. The gravity of Dan’s depression was creeping up on him, like a realization he didn’t want to admit.

Or; Dan is depressed and Phil cant help but feel that the sickness in his best friend is a mystery to them both.

if you could see it, then you’d understand (ao3) - MANIAvinyl

Summary: There was a point in their relationship when Phil was stable enough for the both of them. But when his anxiety gets worse, he’s not sure how to handle anything; not his panic attacks, not Dan and his still-frequent episodes, and not all the new stresses that come with this kind of fast-paced life.

In Disguise (The World Can’t See Me) (ao3) - lovestillaround

Summary: Dan has a habit of going out when he isn’t well.

It Only Goes Up From Here (ao3) - thesassykels66

Summary: If given the chance, it’s easy to say that anyone would travel back in time to talk to their younger selves, especially in a hard time. But when that happens to Dan, he doesn’t notice right away, but he knows that it’s the only way that he’ll truly get better when shown the life he can have.

Or in short, future Dan speaks to 2013 Dan about his depression in a surreptitious way on how he will get better.

It'll be okay (ao3) - Chibikkos_Hat

Summary: Dan didn't believe in love before a certain boy came along

Letters (ao3) - NintenGoAway (elfzhyza)

Summary: Somehow, Phil always knows when Dan's feeling down, and he always knows what to say to make Dan feel better.

little things (ao3) - irrationalqueer

Summary: Dan feels it coming the moment he wakes up.

Massage (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Dan needs an anchor. He needs something to hold him steady. He rolls over onto his stomach and calls out for Phil.

A ficlet about bad days and bed days.

Overwhelmed - omgdatphantho

Summary:Dan begins to suffer from depression and Phil just wants to help.

Picking Up The Pieces (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: During a truth or dare game, Phil is made to break up with his pastel-wearing boyfriend. He was too drunk to fully understand what was happening at the time but now that he’s sobered up, will Dan ever trust him again?

Or, Punk!Phil breaks up with Pastel!Depressed!Dan because of a dare and Phil has to earn his trust back.

Rock Bottom (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: Phil is off visiting his parents. Dan attempts to do the dishes.

run as far as your dark brown eyes can see (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Dan’s laughing, pleased with his own joke about being an awkward child, about misfit war wounds, which Phil will obviously relate to.

Oh.

(Or: the many times Phil has been surprised, and the one thing that didn't surprise him at all.)

Soaked Through (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Dan should go for a run. He should really go for a fucking run. It’s been four days of rainy weather— it’s London, that’s no surprise, but like stormy rainy weather. Too rainy to run in. A fic about shivers and control.

Stitching Up the Seams (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: Phil can’t help but notice the boy with dead eyes who wears baggy jumpers all the time and barely talks anymore. Not being able to stand how sad he looks, Phil begins to slip notes into Dan’s locker in hopes of raising his spirits.

The Road To Being Okay (ao3) - WaterHorseyBlues

Summary: All Phil wanted was for Dan to be okay.

Thunderstorm (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan falls into a depressive episode while Phil is away for a family emergency.

When You Leave Me (I'm Not Going Anywhere) (ao3) - fisshhhh

Summary: Sometimes the thoughts are just too much. Sometimes Dan breaks. Sometimes he finds himself drowning on the kitchen floor, unwilling to ask for help and too insecure to think that anyone would want to help him anyway. Luckily, Phil loves him.

Set in 2009 or early 2010, shortly after they met.

You're All my Reasons (ao3) - QueenKatelynTheAristocrat

Summary: In which Dan's depression doesn't allow him to leave his room for two days, and Phil struggles to find the words, but what comes to realize is that maybe words aren't always necessary.

[diphowell]

affirmations (x, x)

-You Will Get Through This Night

[evermorepeyton]

this legitimately healed me

[jobatasideshow]

Y’all thought I was gone but I’m sticking around like a horrible disease

[fryday]

cursed theory time: dan saying the phagenda is about celebrating what we have as a community + the staticky tv screens depicting their videos through the years / the glitchy audio in the teaser = a whole series depicting what would have happened with their lives / the fandom if each of those videos (or the events those videos were centred around) never happened.

if phil never made his first video -> they would've never met. if dan never made his first video -> probably v different career paths for both of them: phil never being part of the huge dan and phil brand, dan as a lawyer. if they never did ii -> might not have been convinced it was okay for them to come out (at least not when they did). if they never bought the house together -> ?????? don't wanna think about that tbh. if they never brought the gaming channel back -> none of the past half a year of madness and joy.

basically a whole series depicting how awful it would have been had any of these pivotal decisions (and therefore videos) not been made, making us appreciate and celebrate this community a WHOLE LOT MORE (also v dinok-coded)

[andthatscanon]

dair parallels (133/?)

Gossip Girl 4x19 // Gossip Girl 5x16 // Gossip Girl 6x01 // Gossip Girl 6x02 // Gossip Girl 6x10

[phanbeats]

being in a parasocial relationship with a pair of gay youtubers is something that can be so personal actually

[itstimetojellyfish]

They all leave .( I’ll come back)Jing Yuan x reader.

Some more angst , yall , I need to balance all the fluff and angst.

They all left you .

It all started with Baiheng , when she died in the abundance war , it left all of you , devastated. As soon as you heard the news you dropped to your knees and cried your heart out .

Baiheng was one of your closest friends , aside from Jingliu , you just had that special connection with her since you’ve been with her since birth .

You took much longer than anyone in the High Cloud Quintet to recover from , a few months passed and you were still recovering when the news hit you .

Dan Feng had just broken one of the rules just to revive Baiheng.

While you were grateful for the attempt , you were also disappointed in you and Dan Feng , you , for being so weak and useless , and Dan Feng for latching on too hard and breaking the rules and potentially being sentenced to death .

You didn’t think anyone else was working with him since everyone had a sense of self-preservation, but you forgot .

When it includes loved ones , people will do anything.

Once you were told that Yingxing , one of the most reasonable ones in the group , helped Dan Feng in the attempt of reviving Baiheng and ended up getting Mara-struck thanks to Dan Feng you were in shock.

Everyone was dying…

You were kicked out of your residence under the false assumption that you helped Dan Feng and Yingxing too .

You didn’t mind as you stayed in Jingliu’s house because she was one of your friends and if you stayed at Jing Yuan’s house, rumors would occur .

But you soon noticed a difference in her , she started to behave more aggressively and went out often , she even began to cover her eyes with a blindfold .

You didn’t suspect she was Mara-struck too .

Soon a battle occurred between Jing Yuan and Jingliu , Jing Yuan being the winner .

You were in despair , in such a short time , the life you’ve worked so hard to build , was torn apart in less than a hundredth of how much time it took to make it .

And then Jing Yuan was promoted to one of the Arbiter Generals and became the leader of the cloud knights , which meant he cut off all communications with you since he was so busy.

That was the straw that broke the camels back.

They left you all alone on the Luofu, hated and alone , with nothing to your name to at least prove you weren’t part of the plan to revive Baiheng.

You didn’t have anything to prove you were trustworthy.

Loyal

honest

kind

not even a single scrap .

Your belongings were burned in a fire .

You found yourself dumped in some unknown planet , cold and miserable without any proper protection from the planets harsh temperatures.

How useless were you? You couldn’t help Dan Feng and Yingxing with reviving Baiheng , you couldn’t help Jingliu , and you left Jing Yuan alone to cope with everything all by himself without anyone to comfort him.

How useless.

You had to hunt for your resources, the clothing you had gotten only a thin layer of cotton against the wind .

Worst of all , you had no knowledge about this planet . All the basic travel and survival guides you’ve ever read useless.

Berries? Could be poisonous .

The cave that you thought was empty? The den of some gigantic scorpion monster .

The fabric you made from a plant? The equivalent of poison ivy .

Oh? Some water from a lake that you saw animals drinking from? Poison to humans .

You gave up entirely .

Every single day was met with a new challenge, either your water supply ran out or a rockslide occurred and you had to climb over that and broke a bone in the process or your food rotted and you had to eat it anyways because you were starving and now you had indigestion and cramps .

Life sucked .

Then the day came , the day where everything that could go wrong , went wrong.

The second you woke up , you had a blistering headache and suffered from heat exhaustion so you felt like you couldn’t get up but you had to if you wanted to live .

The berries that you thought were safe , actually was a literal blood-sucking parasite that gave diseases .

The herbs you tried to get for treatment , were above a stalagmite, so when you fell due to exhaustion thanks to the heat , your upper body got pierced near the shoulder and you were in excruciating pain for the remainder of the day .

Then a rockslide occurred thanks to your fall and your ankle got trapped under the rock .

Underneath all that pain and loneliness, you caved into the sweet embrace of nothingness and lost consciousness.

The last thing you saw was black armored boots and someone kneeling down .

~~~~~~~~🪼

You awoke to being swathed in soft buttery linens as the bright morning sun shined through the translucent curtains and into your eyes .

You turned over only to have a searing pain go through you and tears begin to pour down your cheeks and you start to whimper .

Before the pain can get worse someone gently holds your mouth open and pours some water and medicine down your throat and coaxes you to swallow down the bitter medicine.

It takes a while for the medicine to finally kick in before you open your eyes and see a white fluffy looking head with honey yellow eyes look at you, worry evident in their eyes .

They gather up in their arms , taking care of not to disturb your wounds .It takes a while to put two and two together and then you realize who it is holding you with the same amount of tenderness a lover would to their partner.

It’s Jing Yuan.

You stare at him like a deer in headlights before he gently pulls you towards his chest and coddles you gently .

No words are needed

You begin to tear up as you cling to him and sob , your heart worn and tired from all those nights of staying in an unfamiliar place with no sense of safety.

Jing Yuan simply just pats your back and cries silent tears , he’s missed you quite terribly often.

After a whole 30 minutes of crying your eyes out , your tear ducts or dry and you begin to tire , your head to hazy since your body is using up all its energy to recuperate.

Soon enough , you fall asleep against his broad chest and lay there , encased in soft blankets .

Jing Yuan stares at you with adoration in his eyes as he praises your ability to survive in harsh circumstances. But that doesn’t soften the fact that the people he cared for , had thrown you out without his knowledge or permission for the past four years.

He makes a vow to you within the walls of his bedroom where no one can hear him .

“ No one,will ever hurt you again,my dear lioness.”

[reunitedinterlude]

lofi phantasy: the album

track 11: a good stretch

[yonpote]

it is soooo funny how insane we are about the fuckin official fandom tumblr top ships list. other reblogs have tags like "oh nice sonadow got 13! ^_^" "omg yay hannigram teehee <3"

meanwhile we're out here like

THATS RIGHT, PHAN HAS BEATEN DESTIEL. WE MUST TEAR THROUGH THE OTHERS BIT BY BIT IN ORDER TO RECLAIM OUR RIGHTEOUS THRONE. AZIRACROW AND STEDDIE SHALL FEAR OUR NAME AS IT ECHOES THROUGH THEIR WRETCHED HALLS. PHAN IS KING.

[ekat-fandom-blog]

Soulmate Song

After a long day at his work, Dick starts walking back to his apartment humming his soulmate song. A large man that looks vaguely like Clark shows up and starts calling him "Dan" and telling him that he shouldn't wander off in a new city without letting him know. There was also something about "changing appearances" in the lecture too, but he wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. So, he just stood there letting the man fuss over him.

After a while, another guy shows up whistling his soulmate song! The new guy was just as tall and broad shouldered as the first but with wavy silver hair that he had in a low ponytail. The first guy called him Dan and quickly realized what had happened. He'd been mistaken for his soulmate. How did that happen?

As he starts trying to talk to the guy, the two men apologize and disappear.

Now, Dick had to find his soulmate before he leaves Bludhaven.

[freakinthefridge]

oh danny, man that you are

shout out to my queue for posting this a day early but that just means more dan for you guys

[goldenpinof]

a good way to break your neck for @heartstopperdnp

[legendarydragonperson]

tortured poets department

[deadandphilgames]

happy phanniversary to all whose first dnp video was basically im gay

[muppetjackrackham]

i didn't feel like making a whole set rn but i needed to get this one out of my system (image credit: @endofradio)