#demisexual jaskier

[hold-me-witcher]

I can't believe Jaskier's character and sexuality has so much incredible nuance to it.

Like yes, he's a slut, he gets chased out of bedrooms by husbands, he sleeps casually with men, he has a few usual fuck buddies around the world who are as equally as interested in just sex and no romance. He was in love with Geralt for years

The second there was someone with no actual hangups about wanting a relationship with him he fell ass over teakettle in love back and was SO CONFUSED but also a slut about it.

[watch-that-writer-burnnn]

Would you care to dance, my dear?

Pairing: Jaskier x female reader

Summary: Jaskier has been invited to perform at a ball and has convinced the reader to attend with him, but she is uncomfortable - that is, until she sneaks into the garden for some air and Jaskier notices and joins her.

Words: 2.6K

Warnings: lots of fluff, reader implied to be female, close friends to lovers, lots of hugs and singing from the bard, mutual pining, reader has a lot of thoughts at the start but I promise there is heaps of soft bard fluff after!

A/n: So I was thinking about the lack of Jaskier fics with a demisexual reader, and came up with this. It certainly doesn't have to be read that way, but it was in the back of my mind when I was writing. The song lyrics are from Fair by The Amazing Devil, it's a beautiful song you should all go listen to. As always it's unedited, so apologies for errors. Hope you enjoy!

You hunched slightly in your seat as your surroundings continued to encroach on you. Loud chatter and laughter, the clinking of glasses, expensive shoes tapping against tiles, figures brushing past you on their way to the ballroom floor.

No one had asked you to dance yet, thank the gods. You were sure it had something to do with your miserable expression and the men's pants and doublet you wore, in stark contrast to the elaborate gowns and hairstyles of the other women in the room.

The night was only made more tolerable, of course, by your companion, Jaskier. An excellent bard, and your best friend, he'd asked you to accompany him to the party at which he'd been invited to perform. You were reluctant at first, preferring the quiet comfort of a tavern or a night under the stars, but he'd seemed so disappointed by your initial refusal, staring at you with those sad blue eyes until you finally caved. The clothing was another issue, as you owned nothing formal, hated dresses in fact, but he gladly lent you one of his simpler outfits, insisting you'd look wonderful in anything. You'd scoffed at his words, but were appreciative of his consideration for your comfort.

He danced about the room, strumming a playful tune on his lute, grinning from ear to ear as he winked at various party goers. You rolled your eyes, unable to help a smirk as you watched. Ever the performer, it wasn't only his music, but his whole manner that served to entertain the guests. He always looked beautiful in this setting, radiating happiness, thoroughly in his element. His blue doublet was open, the low cut shirt beneath revealing a smattering of hair on his chest, which heaved as he sung. His boyish fringe was swept across his face, which seemed almost sculpted, the golden glow of the many candles in the room accentuating his delicate features. Then there were his eyes. You loved his eyes, a mesmerising blue, always seeming to convey such an unbelievable level of meaning and emotion, drawing you in the longer you looked.

Noticing you staring his way, he gladly returned the smile you didn't realise you'd given him, his eyes seeming to light up even more upon meeting yours. You gave him an encouraging nod, and he grinned, launching into another song. At least he wouldn't feel guilty for dragging you along if you pretended to be enjoying yourself.

As the night dragged on, you found it harder to maintain your false appearance of positivity. You fiddled with the undoubtedly expensive food on your plate, unsure exactly of what it was and unwilling to find out. You had rejected a couple of young men who'd offered you dances, finding yourself as completely uninterested as usual, instead mumbling apologies and excuses about a sore leg. As the guests became louder, drunker, rowdier, you finally stood abruptly, in dire need of fresh air. You threw a final glance in the direction of the bard, who was currently preoccupied with entertaining a gaggle of young women with what was most likely some dramatic tale of dreamy lovers. He shouldn't notice if you stepped outside for a few minutes. Taking a deep breath, you wove your way towards the large double doors leading to the gardens beyond.

***

Taking deep breaths of fresh air, you wandered between rows of brightly coloured flowers, running your fingers through the petals as their sweet scents brushed across your nose. You manoeuvred between carefully trimmed hedges until you reached a low marbled bench, placed before an intricately carved fountain with mythical figures intertwined beneath the rippling water. Sitting down with a sigh, you ran your fingers through your messy hair, a nervous habit you'd never quite managed to shake. You didn't know why you were so averse to these kinds of gatherings. The people? The clothes? The food? Maybe it was just the atmosphere, the fake smiles, the superficial laughter, the whispered barbs whenever someone turned their back.

Or maybe you were just paranoid. Maybe all these people really were enjoying themselves. Maybe you should be too - you were, after all, invited as a guest, arriving with your dearest friend, a man for who many here would give a great deal in order to take your place at his side. Many of the women he'd thrown nonchalant winks and smiles at tonight would be jealous of a relationship which doesn't actually exist, like many others who'd assumed the pair of you to be lovers simply by observing your innate closeness. You'd never understand the way all those women could so quickly fall for him, for anyone, really. He'd often encouraged it, of course - less so now, you'd noticed, but certainly when you'd first met. He seemed to fall in love with everyone, and they always seemed immediately infatuated with him in return. While his reputation wasn't as extensive as he'd have people believe, he had a reputation nonetheless. Still, it was something you hadn't even considered when you'd first met, and Jaskier seemed just as glad of your friendship as he would have been had you sought something more.

Of course, you'd be lying if you said you hadn't grown to find him quite attractive, beautiful in spirit and appearance, with a kind, empathetic soul. You found your thoughts drifting, lulled into a daze by the soft trickle of water from the fountain and the distant chirping of night insects. You really loved him, that much you knew. He was your constant companion, your closest friend, your bard. But recently you couldn't help but find yourself wondering if he could be... not something more, that implied your friendship was of far less significance than it was, but... something different. Why now? You'd been friends for years. Why couldn't you have had these feelings and acted on them from the start? Or why couldn't they have just stayed away completely? You groaned, frustrated with your own thoughts, placing your head in your hands.

"Are you alright?"

You turned at the voice, which was deep, melodic, instantly recognisable, and laced with concern.

Jaskier stood uncertainly behind you, absentmindedly fiddling with the strap of his lute, pouting thoughtfully as he awaited your response.

"Oh I'm... I'm fine, Jask. Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you from your performance-"

"You've nothing to be sorry about, my dear," he insisted, moving to take a seat at your side, resting his lute carefully on the bench beside him. You sat in silence for a moment, the soft sounds of the night filling the air, before he spoke again.

"If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I know you hate these sorts of things, I..." He looked down, tugging at the frilly cuffs of his shirt. "It was selfish of me to drag you along."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jask. I agreed to come, didn't I? I liked the idea of spending the night with you," you felt your face redden at the poor choice of words, but chose to stumble forwards over your mistake, "I- it's a nice evening, and..." you reached down beside you, grasping one of his hands in your own. "... And I really am glad to be here with you."

He met your eyes as the corner of his mouth quirked up in a cheeky smile that slowly spread across his entire face. It was infectious, and you quickly found yourself beaming back.

"I'm happy to hear it, dear heart," he said, before shuffling closer, leaning in to rest his head on your shoulder. His fluffy hair, which shone a golden brown in the moonlight, brushed against your neck and chin, making you laugh as he squirmed about, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Are you going to wriggle around like that all night?" You teased. "Don't you have a performance you need to get back to?"

"Everything I need is right here," he murmured against your neck, voice far more gravelly than you'd expected, his hot breath sending goosebumps across your skin. That was... That was new. You hesitated a second, before leaning back against him, the warmth of his partially exposed chest pressing into your shoulder as you rested your head against his.

"Can we just... Stay like this a while?" He breathed, eyes fluttering shut.

"Of course," you murmured back, closing your own eyes.

You enjoyed each other's silent company and the warmth of your bodies pressed together as the moon crept higher in the sky. Absentmindedly, you fiddled with his fingers, lacing them between your own. Reaching up with your other hand, you ran your fingers through his hair, drawing what sounded almost like a low moan from the bard, which was quickly interrupted by a cough as he stood abruptly.

"What's wrong?" You asked, staring up at him, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. Gods, you didn't know how he could have looked any more beautiful than before, but he did. The night cast shadows across his pale skin, accentuating his delicately sculpted features with a soft blue glow. His eyes seemed to burn with energy as they stared back into your own, and you noticed a deep red glowing through parts of his ruffled hair in the light of the moon. His doublet was crumpled from where he'd leant against you, and the low cut shirt beneath was pulled far to one side, revealing a teasingly large amount of his chest. You forced yourself to tear your eyes away as he responded.

"Oh, it's... It's nothing. I... Do you... That is..." He stopped for a second, composing himself, before his face lit up, seeming to have thought of something. An embarrassed smile broke through his features as he walked up to you, placing one hand behind his back and outstretching the other towards you.

"Would you care to dance, my dear?"

Heart pounding in your chest, you smiled, before reaching up to take his hand.

"I- I would love to, my sweet bard."

He let out a nervous laugh of relief at your response, stepping back as you rose from your seat, eyes locked on each other. His fingers, calloused from years of music, tenderly grasped your own, before his hands slid down your sides to find purchase at your waist, while you placed your arms either side of his head. You held your breath, the contact making you shiver, your heart fluttering in your chest.

What is wrong with me? It's not like this is the first time we've been this close. We've shared a horse, a bed, even danced together a couple of times at village fairs. Why should this be any different?

Too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice your lack of composure, Jaskier confidently led you around the small patch of ground hidden between hedges, your own natural dance floor, with the sighing wind, bubbling water and singing crickets providing the music. He absentmindedly bit his lip as his mind swirled, heart thumping just as fast as yours.

Why am I doing this? Of course we're close, we always have been, but this is different and I know it. I'm an idiot, a hopeful idiot. She's never been interested in me, and, as much as it wounds me, I promised myself to never let my feelings get in the way of our friendship. Promised to never tell her just how deeply in love with her I am.

Jaskier pushed his troubled thoughts aside. He wanted to enjoy this moment, and wanted you to as well. Besides, maybe he could find out, once and for all, how you truly felt about him. Or at least, ease his aching heart by finally revealing his own feelings, regardless of your response.

Taking a deep breath, steadying his trembling body, he slowly leant towards you, until his lips barely brushed your ear. A pleasant warmth shot through your stomach at his unexpected touch, and you closed your eyes with a hum of contentment, welcoming his body as your arms pulled him closer.

Softly, he began to sing as the pair of you continued to sway in the moonlight, words raw and full of pure, unbridled emotion as he murmured them into your ear.

"It's what my heart just yearns to say, in ways that can't be said..."

You tightened your grip, clinging to him in silent awe as he continued the song, each new lyric causing heat to rise to your skin in the cool night air.

"Oh, how, oh, how unreasonably in love I am with everything you do, I'll spend my days so close to you, 'cause if I'm standing here, maybe everyone will think I'm alright."

You'd stopped moving now, not daring to pull away, confused by the tide of emotions flooding your mind. What was this song? You'd never heard it before, but it seemed to come straight from the heart. Was it possible...

"It's not fair, it's not fair how much I love you"

At these words, something clicked. You kicked yourself for not realising sooner. How could you be so blind? Forget your own emotions, you knew you hadn't always been in love with Jaskier. But him? He'd been infatuated with you from the start. Yet he'd kept quiet about his feelings, until he knew they were reciprocated. Your poor, kind, beautiful bard.

You closed what little distance was left between you two, burying your head into his chest. His voice trailed off as he gently slid his hands further around your waist, returning the embrace. He gave a deep sigh, hugging you as though he never wanted to let you go, nestling his head against your neck.

Eventually, you felt his lips brush your jaw as you pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, shining eyes filled with adoration, an expression of deep satisfaction resting on his face.

"That was... That was..." He breathed, fingers gently trailing across your back.

"It was beautiful," you finished, fingers twirling the fluffy brown curls at the back of his neck.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said softly, a half smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, as his eyes flitted across your features, eventually dropping to your lips.

"This feels too good to be true..." He mumbled, closing his eyes as he gently brought his lips forward to brush yours.

"Yet here we are," you whispered against his mouth, before finally pressing your lips into his own with a sigh.

He kissed you carefully, deliberately, the heat of your bodies pressed so close together serving only to fuel the motion. You slid your hands up the back of his shirt and he moaned into your mouth, sending another wave of warmth through your body. You allowed him to deepen the kiss, his tongue lapping and darting into your mouth as he made a series of small, pleasured noises, whimpering and gasping as you continued playing with his hair.

When you finally seperated, you were both breathing heavily, hearts pounding. Jaskier's appearance made you weak, as you examined his lust darkened eyes, the soft blush creeping across his cheeks, and his puffy, crimson lips. He looked so ruffled, like a startled baby animal, that you couldn't help but giggle. You moved to rest your forehead against him, his eyelashes briefly kissing your cheek as he moved to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I love you, Jaskier," you said, running your thumb across his cheek, causing him to hum softly at the touch. You hesitated, grinning, before adding, "thanks for waiting for me."

"Of course, dear heart," he said, cheeky smile once again tugging at the corner of his mouth, before adding more seriously, "You're more important to me than you could ever know."

"I think I have some idea," you smirked, grabbing him by his shirt collar and pulling his lips into your smile.

[thelostgirl21]

Ever since realising that Joey referring to Jaskier as sapiosexually connecting with Radovid was likely 100% intentional, I've literally been losing my shit over the potential implications...

Like... new headcanon!

What if Jaskier has always approached the act of having sex with someone else as a form of performance art, driven by his desire to please his "audience", and making other people passionately respond to what he's doing for them?

Like... what if what normally sexually interests him isn't so much inspired by the other person, but more by the general idea of being wanted, needed, and the anticipation of the positive feedback he might get from sexually interacting with them.

He readily experiences primary aesthetic attraction towards other people, finds them interesting, becomes curious about them, and feels instantly affectionate towards them; but he's not sexually aroused by / attracted to them, per say.

He really wants to make them feel good, and bask in that sense of intimacy, togetherness and praises he receives from being sexually involved with them (yeah, because he's that good at figuring out what pleases them, and offering it to them).

And somehow, audience response/participation tends to really inform how good or "smooth" he is when it comes to his ability to seduce someone, and convince them to become sexually intimate with him in the first place?

For example...

So... what if Jaskier is a bard and an artist through and through? Not just on stage, but in the sheets as well?

Turning sex into poetry and something very deliberate, where it's all about a sense of artistic expression, and a pure melody of various physical sensations and emotions!

Sexually? Jaskier is an artist, a creative, a free thinker... All is fair!

But it's not something that he usually feels any urge or need to engage in based on the way someone else inspires him any sudden desire to have sex with them specifically.

He loves his sexual partners, he's intrigued by them, he wants to connect with them - even if that connection lasts but a night - and sex allows him to do that.

But maybe he has no idea that sex might be experienced differently by others.

Maybe he just thinks they're like really really REALLY expressive and appreciative of the sex itself, or something, whenever he notices how hungrily some of them appear to throw themselves at him, or at each other.

Also, I've somehow always found it a bit weird how Jaskier seems to fully remain clear minded during Yennefer's magical orgy.

Yennefer comments on how Geralt seems to be immune to her spell, as if it's some kind of big deal!

But then, there's Jaskier...

He just waves at them as if he's totally unaffected by everyone else fucking each other around him, and being surrounded by a bunch of naked bodies having sex...

And/or looks like he's not quite comfortable with the way someone's hand is moving closer to his crotch at some point...

Grant it, he's slowly being suffocated to death by a Djinn's magic, and likely has other priorities than sex in mind!

But that's just the thing...

Isn't Yennefer's spell supposed to override people's ability to think rationally or fully understand what's happening? Everyone snaps out of it looking confused, and poor Jaskier just basically passes out, but he's never once looked like he stopped looking at what was happening around him from an outsider's P.O.V.

Whenever the camera cuts to him, he seems to be sharing the same reality as Geralt and Yennefer, not the kind of sexual haze everyone else appears to be happily trapped in.

Would being affected by the Djinn just make him immune to the whole "sex weed magic thingy" as well?

Or would the usual lack of primary sexual attraction towards other people make it a bit harder for Yennefer's spell to take a hold on him?

(Another headcanon theory I came up with - should Jaskier be revealed as being the direct descendant of Fjall and the Lark - would be that, perhaps, the small touch of magic in his blood would be enough to make him more resistant to certain types of spell... On top of being able to eat whatever he comes across without freaking poisoning himself, I swear!)

But yeah, let's just imagine, for a moment, that sapiosexual Jaskier would have no clue (or very little clue) of what it actually feels like to specifically be sexually attracted to someone (rather than the sex itself, and all it may represent to him) in a way where you are viscerally craving that sexual contact with that specific someone, and you feel like you might go crazy if they don't finally have sex with you.

Then, along comes Radovid, that he develops a sapioromantic and sapiosexual attraction for...

And, for a while, Jaskier thinks he's just losing his freaking mind, because there are moments where Radovid is just there, simply being all sensitive and insightful while discussing dwarven politics with Yarpen, for example...

... and poor Jaskier's never been so sexually aroused in his life!!!

But Radovid is not even technically doing anything that's supposed to be "sexually charged"!

He's fully clothed, being all smart and sensitive, talking about a topic of interest to him while having lunch by the side of the road...

...and Jaskier is just there, casually eating next to him while listening to him talk with their friends.

It's 100% casual and totally trivial, day to day stuff... No plan for Jaskier to try and seduce him and have sex there!

So, how come does he suddenly feel the urge to pounce on him and beg Radovid to just take him right here and there, in front of all their friends at camp, and it's taking all the self-control he can humanly muster not to act upon that impulse?!

Instead, Jaskier stands up, awkwardly excuses himself, and decides the best way to manage the situation is to go take a random dip fully clothed in the nearest river.

"Why?", they ask. Because he was getting hot, that's why!

And no, he couldn't just remove his clothes instead! He liked them really baggy an concealing that day, thank you very much!

As a matter of fact, he might decide to just start wearing his shirt over his pants from now on, because he's starting a new fashion trend! No other reason!

Oh...

Oh, no...

NO.

Don't you dare look at me all concerned while trying to read into my behavior, you stupid prince... Wait. Is that a smirk?

You're smirking aren't you?

How do you look like you've figured it out, when I've no fucking clue what's even going on with me?!

Great! And now the river's cool water is not even working anymore!

That's it! I'm never walking out of here again, and I hope you know it's all your fault!

No. No, don't take off your shirt and get into the water with me, that's not...

Oh? Oh! Everyone else is going and leaving us alone? Okay, nevermind! Fuck! Why's it so hard to walk while standing waist deep in water? Surely there must be a way to get to you faster...

And I'm just imagining poor Jaskier trying to ask Yennefer if Radovid might be some kind of sorcerer with latent magical abilities or something... Because, whenever he's around, there are moments where he randomly feels this overwhelming urge to make love to him, even if the context is not appropriate for delivering a sexual performance of any kind!

Like yes, it has happened to him before to have "the muses" whisper in his ear that sex with a certain someone might be good, and he's typically very open to sudden bursts of inspiration and unplanned sexual improvisation!

But that's not the same thing!

It only happens specifically with Radovid - especially when he's saying or doing something really witty, sensitive or insightful - and it's like his whole body suddenly catches fire, gets all tense and trembling with need; and being touched by him and having sex with him feels like finally being able to breathe after someone's forcefully been holding your head under water for a while...

Radovid must be bewitching him, somehow, for sure!

And Yenn is like "You know that what you've just been describing is simply what regular sexual desire feels like for most people, right?"

And Jaskier's just going:

[haunting-system]

Hey, this intro post is mainly so you can see our bios on mobile as well, if you're on desktop you're obviously welcome to read them here but also I (Imogen) spent 7 hours learning HTML to put buttons on the blog site so if you wanna look at them there it'd be greatly appreciated haha

Red @finallyhauntings - 20, they/it/thon bisexual, host & local Cool Guy (I am actually very very cringe and take pride in that) (also the account's "main" blog, this is where likes and follows come from)

Lily @occasional-lilith - 23, she/her demisexual lesbian, raging lesbian, aspirational poet (when I'm in front enough to write), the only member of this system who knows how to bloody read

J - 2-5, he/him (but in a nonbinary way), our only little, probably won't post but we might refer to him sometimes (J isn't his actual name I'm just calling him that for like Safety Reasons)

Roxy - puppy, she/her, nonhuman alter (dog), her only two moods are PLAY PLAY PLAY GIVE ME SCRITCHES LICKING YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW and cuddle me so I can sleep

Bambi - 20, she/her pansexual aromantic, again won't actually post but might get referred to, all you need to know for context for if/when I meme abt her is that she exists for sexual purposes (has her own blog but I'm not promoting that shit here bc it's exclusively nsfw)

Orion - 15, he/him straight, big enjoyer of all things space and some things gaming (Fortnite, Helldivers and Elite Dangerous being some favourites)

Jaskier/Julian - 30s-ish, he/him bisexual, fictive of one Julian Pankratz, the bard Jaskier, that's been dormant since before we realised we were a system and is now very definitively back (and as of writing this missing my darling family)

Imogen @imogen-exe - 17, she/it aroace, graphic design is my passion (haha), I'm doing us an actual blog theme as soon as I've written my bio, I'm also taking on the responsibility of overhauling our SimplyPlural to make it look nice, complete with custom collages to represent each alter made by yours truly!

Bailey - 25, he/her, lesbian, no gender only butch lesbianism (ok that’s some gender), I’m the scary butch that lesbophobes told you was “dangerous”

Oz - uh I'm not sure I really have an age, he/they panromantic demisexual, I'm a fictive of Oz Yellow from the Monster Prom games, I'm not sure how often I'll post because uhh Scary, but Red says until there's enough of us that it's stupid to try to keep track we all need at least a little info on ourselves for context in case anyone mentions us

Dipper - 13 or 25 or kind of both? he/him bi trans man, I'm a fictive of Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls, I'm a big fan of sudokus and wordsearches and such, generally just a big nerd

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Oxymoron

Warnings : for this chapter this soft 🥰 : swearing

The Continent has long forgotten magic and monsters. Those are for books and legends only. Yet some still believe in it and witchers are still in activity. Geralt, one of the last, knows that monsters have just adapted to the human world and hides even in the biggest cities. One day, he meets a young man playing in a bar on the road and his life is changed..

[Geralt POV]

[Modern AU]

Chapter 1 : The devil of Posada - Part 1 : Buddy

Notes :

This is my modern AU. This is a collection of stories. For the moment, it will cover S1 and S2 of the show with inclusions of the books version but in a twisted way. I will tell the stories mostly from a geraskier point of view. So I will skip some stories or tell them differently when they are not together. This is Geralt POV only. Also I am changing a lot of predicates in this story to install my version of the lore and the general ambiance.

Note that we have a pan Jaskier and a bi demisexual Geralt here.

I will publish each story in a short delay, but I won't be regular in between stories.

[thebestworstidea]

Witcher Fic Recommendations

Presented in no particular order, some of my favorite Witcher Fics; Links are to Ao3. They are also mostly Explicit, but cute, if you get me? I tend to forget the porn when remembering them because it's about the character interactions not the fucking.

Pretty much anything @inexplicifics has written (I started hearing about the Accidental Warlord Series (E, Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Eskel, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel and assorted minor ships. In which a terrified bard stops being terrified and helps reshape the world with his music and his heart.) when I started going through the Witcher tag and somehow it was even BETTER than I assumed) but in particular I am crazy about their Lambert/Aiden. Your Kind of Heaven (M, in which Lambert is smarter than Orpheus), Three Bells each with a Separate Sound (E, in which timefuckery makes for the best fuckert)and Out of the Night That Covers Me (M, in which a single good deed does multiple people a shit ton of good)are all fics I've read multiple times already.

@jackironsides is also a go to favorite writer, with Kaer Morhen Book Club (T in which fanfic changes people's perspectives, and the Kaer Morons love romance novels.)being a unclosed tab on my phone in case I need a pick me up. But honestly, any of their works are worth a read. I went through their entire library with no regrets.

@spielzeugkaiser does this amazing art to tell stories with; while it can take me most of a fic to tear up, they can do it in a handful of sketches so there's that. But there's plenty more that's cute and sweet. Love their Shifter!Jaskier and bearwitcher!Jaskier

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by Heronfem- more Lambert/Aiden, modern-with-magic college au, it's just ... so good. (In which a demisexual, genderfluid Lambert gets accidentally married to a theatre kid and it fucking rocks.)

Cabinet of Curiosities (E) by aleatory_fox, round_robin was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and it stuck with me a great deal. (in Which Witchers are Objectified(like, pets.), and Jaskier's plots run deep.)

round_robin also wrote an Exhalation of Wolves, (E)scenes from which also pop into my head when I'm not thinking of other things. (In which Jaskier makes soap, and is beloved by the Wolves of Kaer Morhen- and loves them back just as hard)

Mating Call (E) by TAFKAmayle gets a reminder about the explicitness, because it is blatant monsterfucking. Cute somehow though. (in Which Jaskier is an adorable pervert; and Willow stares at pictures on the Witcher-Wiki and goes 'yeah, I can see that')

really enjoying the Cutagen Verse stories by artistsfuneral, if only because they agree with me that there need to be just a couple more surviving wolf Witchers. (G-M, with one E. What it says on the tin)

Beasts In Fields of Flowers by @sheepishwolfy (series M/E) has very good banter in my opinion. (in which there are both Cuteagens and Feral Jaskier so that's the appeal)

The Courting Jewlery ABO (E)series by suzukiblu has definitely done things to my brain in regard to ABO. Good things. (In which Geralt is an Omega who deserves all the nice things Jaskier can give him, and Jaskier is going to do it whether he likes it or not)

Curse of Chamomile by chamomiletea (E) by (In Which Geralt gets a very specific curse, which leads him to Jaskier, an apology, and several new experiences. Raunchy and sweet and cute in turns)

Being Roach by @senashenta a delightful crossover that I adore. And cute, not explicit, for a change. (Witcher- Heralds of Valdemar crossover)

[eskelwolfed]

I wanted to keep quiet about this since I have a paragraph on smut in my rules, but I guess I have to be very direct about it once more.

I love smut. I love writing it, I love reading it, I love it when a story is 90% smut and 10% plot. I'm so super comfortable with smut happening, that's why I have a multimuse that's smut centric and I literally have a succubus OC. You can't play a succubus if you're uncomfortable with smut.

BUT ladies and gentlemen and fellow enbies,

that doesn't mean we have to write it if we're active partners. You want a story driven plot? Gimme. You like to fade to black? Alright! You need some time to open up and be comfy with smut? VALID. You're ace, sex repulsed, hyposexual or WHATEVER and you just don't want to write smut? VALID AS HELL GUYS.

Just don't -- don't shame me for being a lover of filth. Don't act like you're holy, because smut is a rare thing for you. Don't put yourself on a pedestal and preach how you need a "connection" or "chemistry" to ship or write smut.

BECAUSE guess what. I'm the same. Sometimes I don't feel the smut. Sometimes just throw your muse at mine and they be fucking in reply no.3. It doesn't matter really! As long as we vibe and respect another! I can write 90% plot and feelings and 10% smut OR LEAVE IT OUT COMPLETELY. I'M A SKILLED WRITER Y'ALL. I'm doing the tango since I'm 14 years old!

We all roleplay for the fun of it, or as an escapism or exploring something you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole in your own personal sexual expression. ALL OF THIS IS VALID. It doesn't matter why you RP, but it matters how you treat your partners, especially when you have different opinions about smut.

I'm allosexual and queer and yes, for fuck's sake, I'm sex positive and I'm ship positive and some of my muses are hella promiscuous. If you demand respect for your choices, you'll have to learn respect other people's choices, too. It's that simple.

Also btw, since the old reblogs confused some of you:

Eskel is not gay. Eskel is not Geralt shipping only. Eskel is not hypersexual.

He was planned that way, because ep. 2.02 broke me, guys. I wanted him to have a happy ending obviously. When I started writing him I did not have in mind to make him my primary muse. But I got so entangled with him, I love him so much, he just became what he is now.

Eskel is pan- and demisexual, I ship him with boys and girls and enbies, I ship him with human characters, with elves, werewolves, demons... but even the amount of sex he has -- you have to keep in mind that all of the threads are technically starting off a 'clean slate'. Means, when he meets a girl and he hasn't felt for a girl in AGES, he'll be surprised, because he is mainly still a little more attracted to men - every thread will handle the connection he has as unique. He has like half a dozen verses, but in every thread it basically starts off in a different timeline.

I still ship him with Geralt, but man, all the amazing OCs of my partners? *chef's kiss* and even though they never met canonically (in the show), right now I'm much more enamoured by Jaskier/Eskel. I love the potential angsty ship Lambert/Eskel.

In my opinion, he indeed shifted from being very hyposexual on the spectrum to the middle.

I started playing him as a massive submissive bottom, and that's still his usual preference with male partners, but he can also take the lead.

Overall, characters aren't written in stone. The longer you write a canon character, the more he becomes "original" as you drop stuff you don't like about the canon portrayal, etc. And we all agree that Witchers are horndogs, right? They're canonical horndogs. ALL OF THEM.

AND ANOTHER THING just because I'm a massive smut slut I'm not less of a skilled writer of what happens inside a character (and I'm not talking about the penetration here). Angsty-Shippy threads can have a much more in depth character building and analysis than a monster killing thread.

This is the very last time I'll speak about this. I'll add a statement to my rules and everyone who follows me and comes complaining about Eskel or any of my other muses being "sex crazed" will just get a block. I'm tired of being shamed for enjoying smut.

[forbiddcnfruits]

Cheat Sheet: Muses and their gender/sexuality.

𝑺𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆: 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒖𝒂𝒍/𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝑶𝑪

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

Jaskier: cisgender bisexual / !! in modern: pansexual transman & switch

Lambert: cisgender bisexual & dom

Geralt: cisgender bisexual (threads only with established mutuals; shipping only after plotting / chemistry / no yenralt, trissralt) & dom

Renfri: stone butch lesbian & unknown

Deidre: cisgender lesbian

𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐋

Rowena McLeod: cisgender pansexual & domme

Dean Winchester: no shipping on this blog.

Sam Winchester: gnc masc pansexual & switch (depending on verse)

𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐑/𝐑𝐎𝐏 (human gender roles don't apply to elves)

Arondir: grey ace, homoromantic & sub

Galadriel: pan & domme

Dweller: grey aroace, lesbian & sub

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

Lanfear: cis lesbian & domme

Egwene Al'Vere: cis lesbian & domme

Min Farshaw: gnc butch lesbian & sub

Liandrin: cis aromantic/ lesbian demisexual & domme

Lan Mandragoran: cis straight switch

Perrin Aybara: cis pansexual switch

Laila Dearn/Aybara: closeted butch lesbian switch

Moiraine Damodred: stone femme lesbian, demisexual, untouchable domme.

Nynaeve Al'Meara: cisgender bisexual domme.

𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐒

Rhea Royce: gnc butch lesbian & switch

Harwin Strong: cisgender homosexual switch (no Rhaewin, no kids with Rhaenyra, threads only with established mutuals; shipping only after plotting / chemistry).

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐈𝐗

Garnet til Alexandros XVII: cis gender straight

Vivi Orunitia: no shipping on this blog!

Freya Crescent: no shipping on this blog!

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒

N.uramon the Elvenprince: pansexual

Falkor: no shipping on this blog!

Sakura Kinomoto: aged up (21), bisexual.

Ianto Jones: transmasc gay, sub.

Eddie Munson: transmasc pansexual

[melpcmene]

melpcmene. ( a muse of tragedy, and all have tragedies at the end. ) a multi-muse featuring many characters from various things. the study of love && lost. bloodshed && horror. but with the sweet things like affection && adoration in others including those who may take longer to show it. ( do not interact if you're under twenty. ) do read my rules before interacting/following. curated by emmett ( 28 ) memes. promo. carrd.

blog roll. @korinthiakos | @bhaalswn | @diabelskoga | @einspruch

( ctrl + f to search for a specific fandom! )

primary.

kalecgos / warcraft / genderless / he him it / bisexual / 10,000+ henry oak / dungeons & daddies / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 30+ percival de rolo / critical role / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 20+ vex'ahlia / critical role / cis-female / she her / pansexual / 28 jay walker / ninjago / cis-male / he him / pansexual / 24 vash the stampede / trigun / transmasc enby / he they / pansexual / 100+ milly thompson / trigun / cis-female / she her / pansexual / 20+ the corinthian / sandman / agender / he them / homosexual / 8000+ scott summers / x-men 97 / cis-male / he him / bisexual *

*I am considering roleplaying Scott in his Earth-616 verse and Earth-101001 verse and I am slowly going through various media ( aka comics, etc )

secondary.

uther hawke / dragon age 2 / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 26 blake langermann / outlast 2 / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 28 joseph oda / the evil within / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 33 connor rk800 / dbh / genderless / he him they it / bisexual / ?? dr neil watts / finding paradise / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 25 sally fisher / sally face / genderfluid / she he they / bisexual / 15-20 the eleventh doctor / doctor who / enby / he they / pansexual / old as time chief executive / doctor who / enby / he they / demisexual / old as time time lord victorious / doctor who / enby / he they / pansexual / old as time jaskier / the witcher / cis-male / he him / pansexual / 30+ evan buckley / nine-one-one / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 29 makoto tachibana / free / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 18-20 shen wei / guardian / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 1000+ ianto jones / torchwood / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 26 cho hakkai / saiyuki / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 27 tenpou gensui / saiyuki gaiden / cis-male / he him / bisexual / old opal lynch / the raven cycle / genderless / she they / 9 adam parrish / the raven cycle / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 19-20

testing.

king magnifico / wish / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 50+ leander / touchstarved / cis-male / he him / omnisexual / 27 mhin / touchstarved / enby / they them / bisexual / 25 albert wesker / resident evil / cis-male / he him /bisexual / 40+ alex wesker / resident evil / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 40+ ethan winters / resident evil / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 30+ john marston / red dead redemption / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 30+ bonnie macfarlane / red dead redemptions / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 25+ parvati holcomb / the outer worlds / enby / she they / asexual / 28 eric king / house of ashes / cis-male / he him / closeted bisexual / 28 karlach cliffgate / baldur's gate 3 / cis-female / she her / pansexual / 100+ death of the endless / sandman / agender / they it she / pansexual / 10,000+ dream of the endless / sandman / agender / they it he / bisexual / 10,000+ johanna constance / sandman / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 29 thomas 10k / z-nation / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 22 cassandra / z-nation / cis-female / she her it / bisexual / 25 lucien crown / morbius / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 30+ ambrosius goldenloin / nimona / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 25+ nimona / nimona / genderfluid / she xem they / homosexual / 1000+ derek / what we do in the shadows / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 20+ guillermo de la cruz / what we do in the shadows / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 30 the guide / what we do in the shadows / cis-female / she her / pansexual / 544+ ruin / sandman comics / transmasc enby / he they / homosexual / ?? aziraphale / good omens / agender / he they / homosexual / 6000+ phoenix wright / ace attorney / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 24-35 miles edgeworth / ace attorney / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 24-35 franziska von karma / ace attorney / cis-female / she her / homosexual / 19 yoi forger / spy x family / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 27 loid forger / spy x family / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 28 red-haired shanks / one piece / cis-male / he him / pansexual / 39 nico robin / one piece / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 28-30 boa hancock / one piece / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 29-31 kaku / one piece / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 23-25 smoker / one piece / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 34-36 bartolomeo / one piece / enby / he they / pansexual / 24 donquixote corazon rosinante / one piece / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 26-39 silvers rayleigh / one piece / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 78

*i'm currently on episode 969 for one piece, and haven't started the manga so bear with me if I get things wrong! ( but i'll likely eventually start the manga soon. ) *corazon will have a survive verse, hence the 26-39

courier six "gamble" / fallout new vegas / cis-male / he him / pansexual / 27 arcade gannon / fallout new vegas / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 35 francis mosses / that's not my neighbour / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 20+ edwin paine / dead boy detectives / cis-male / he him / homosexual / 16 dr zero / fallout new vegas / cis-male / he him / bisexual / ?? barry oak / dungeons & daddies / cis-male / he him / bisexual / old normal oak / dungeons & daddies / transmasc enby / he they / bisexual / 14 sparrow oak / dungeons & daddies / cis-male / he him / pansexual / 30+ trudy trout / dungeons & daddies / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 25+ abigail blyg / the quarry / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 19 emma mounterbank / the quarry / she her / bisexual / 19 dylan lenivy / the quarry / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 19 sam trapani / mafia trilogy / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 30+ travis hackett / the quarry / cis-male / he him / demisexual / 56 henry tomasino / mafia trilogy / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 40 jamie tartt / ted lasso / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 25 kayce dutton / yellowstone / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 30+

original characters.

ava bates / fallout 4 / cis-female / she her / bisexual/ 230+ nightmare of drowning ( deirdre ) / sandman / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 1000+ dream of songs ( robin ) / sandman / genderfluid / they she him / asexual / 1000+ daisey o'malley / fandomless supernatural hunter / cis-female / she her / bisexual / 32 jude o'malley / fandomless supernatural hunter / cis-male / he him / bisexual / 28 samson small / fandomless fbi agent / cis-male / he him /bisexual / 29 sarah small / fandomless nurse / cis-female / she her / pansexual / 29 cleo wright / dragon age ( templar ) / cis-female / she her / homosexual / 26 kathryn cousland / dragon age / cis-female / she her / homosexual / 22

[endy-merimo]

baron marius von raum fan #1

hi!!

english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes

Names: Nick, Jon, Endy (my pseudonym, use it rarely)

Pronouns: he/him, it/its, ze/zir, the/thes/thees/thesself

Age: 19

Gay + demisexual + polyamorous + trans man + autism + schizotypal pd

Active fandoms! The Magnus Archives, THE MECHANISMS

(only fandoms i'm sitting in, i like other shows and love to talk about them but not in the fandom, for example, SPIES ARE FOREVER MY BELOVED (i left the fandom bc it started to be uncomfortable), MP100, Good Omens, the witcher a bit, Ace Attorney)

Character kins: Jon Sims, Reigen Arataka, Miles Edgeworth, Tome Kurata, Jaskier, BARON MARIUS VON RAUM

asks are always open!! i love interacting!!!

I now have The Mechanisms oc self-insert rp blog @researcher-4e69636b !!

[thelostgirl21]

Except Joey Batey described Jaskier's connection with Radovid as being sapioromantic and sapiosexual.

And sapioromantic / sapiosexual individuals are people on aromantic / asexual spectrum (greyromantics / greysexuals) that are unable to experience romantic / sexual attraction towards another human being unless they develop a connection with, or fascination for, the person's intellect first.

Just like demiromantic / demisexual individuals are only capable of secondary romantic / sexual attraction once they've established a primary emotional bond with the person;

a sapioromantic / sapiosexual is only capable of secondary romantic / sexual attraction once they've established a primary intellectual bond with the person.

That does not mean that they can't enjoy sex or romance (you have sex favorable asexuals, and romance favorable aromantics... In Jaskier's case, I'd even be tempted to call him a sex seeking asexual and romance seeking aromantic), however, for the pleasure and excitement that sex and/or romance itself provides them.

It's just that the other person themselves fails to inspire them any romantic feelings or sense of sexual arousal, so they have to rely on other factors to get themselves in the mood for either, so to speak.

They can also use sex and romance as ways of expressing feelings of love, amorous attachment (that are far from being exclusively romantic), and/or emotional and physical intimacy with people they love.

And, if they are sapioromantic / sapiosexual, it doesn't mean that they romantically and/or sexually respond to all types of intellects, either. For example, Radovid displays high levels of emotional/relational intelligence, so that could be what triggers Jaskier's romantic interest towards him.

As a demisexual, I tend to be more easily sexually attracted to people I am friends with rather than people I'm romantically attracted to, oddly enough (the romance often has to develop strong elements of friendships for it to eventually happen).

So, even the types of emotional bonds you experience might influence the way you experience attraction.

Some people on the aromantic / asexual spectrum also tend to enjoy using different words to clearly describe and differentiate between the types of attractions they experience towards other people.

Ex:

Squish = platonic attraction

Mesh = alterous attraction

Crush = romantic attraction

Swish = aesthetic attraction

Lush = sensual attraction

Smush = sexual attraction

So, just because Jaskier's attraction towards Radovid is narratively presented as being "different", and possibly being the first time he's ever truly been romantically attracted towards someone (by having Vespula saying that she's never ever seen him have a crush, despite the number of people he's been emotionally and/or sexually involved with), and Jaskier specifying that he does "like" Geralt, but platonically...

Jaskier describing his love for Geralt as platonic (while playfully downplaying it) doesn't mean that he couldn't have experienced a strong squish or even mesh (a love that's between platonic and romantic) for Geralt.

It doesn't mean that he's never aesthetically, sensually, and/or even sexually been attracted to Geralt.

It doesn't even mean that he has never intellectually connected with Geralt strongly enough to the point of having been able to experience romantic desires for him in the past, either.

Perhaps those feeling have been romantic at some point in the 20 years+ they've known each other, but they've simply evolved towards something more platonic afterwards (Vespula says she's never ever seen Jaskier have a crush, but have they known each other since they were children? Has she been aware of all his past friendships and relationship partners? Who knows?).

It doesn't mean that Jaskier has never desired Geralt amorously (i.e. the desire to form a committed relationship and/or partnership with someone), or wished for him to become his main life partner.

It doesn't mean that his relationship with Geralt isn't highly queer in itself, regardless of it being romantic (or no longer being of a romantic nature) or not!

As someone that experiences both aromantic and romantic love with the same importance and intensity, one of the things I absolutely adore about Season 3 is the level of importance that Jaskier gives to his found family (Geralt/Yennefer/Ciri), and him prioritizing that family over any newfound romance.

Because the only reason I've successfully been with the same romantic partner for over 17 years now is because he's never expected me to stop being actively involved in my close friends' lives just because we started dating.

And he's never expected me to treat those relationships as being "lesser than" the romantic attraction I was experiencing towards him, either.

To my absolute delight, that boyfriend fully embraced the presence of those friends in my life, respected that some of them truly were family to me, and made genuine efforts to integrate that family rather than attempt to build a future with me that did not involve them.

He understands that I also tend to express affection with my friends physically by holding hands, hugging them, and/or even cuddling up to them (regardless of gender).

If he wasn't in my life, I'd probably be sleeping with a few of them, too; but I don't really need sex to feel physically intimate with those I love, so I find it simpler not to, for a variety of reasons.

One of them being that my partner is monoamorous and, as someone who is ambiamorous, I'm fully comfortable with being in a single fully committed life partnership with him.

And one of the reasons why I fell in love so hard with Radovid as a character, this season, is the way he doesn't appear to be put off by Jaskier loving other people than himself.

He caught the lute that Jaskier's lover threw over the balcony because she was angry at him for having had sex with many, many different people all at once, and went "Yup! That's exactly the kind of man I can see myself falling in love with and devoting my life to!"

Like seriously!

He tells Jaskier to pick his favorite song to sing, while suggesting that his guests would love a song about HIS white hair witcher.

He asks if Geralt knows how lucky he is to have Jaskier...

In Radovid's mind, Geralt is clearly Jaskier's, and Jaskier is clearly Geralt's. They belong together.

The moment Jaskier says he can't go with Radovid because he needs to find his family, Radovid immediately suggests to help him reunite with those he loves, although Jaskier is making it pretty clear that he's more or less embarking on a suicide mission of some sort!

Look, you'd tell me that Radovid actually got really upset and cried when he heard "Burn Butcher Burn" for the first time, because he was heartbroken over these two having had such a big falling out, then became overjoyed when he learned that Jaskier and Geralt had finally reconciled, and I'd 100% believe you!

I'd have no problem imagining him having this huge fanboy moment the first time he sees Jaskier and Geralt interacting and bickering together, and turning out to be a Geraskier shipper through and through!

Jaskier simply has a huge heart, where there's room for tons of different types of loves and relationships, and I think that Radovid might just be smart enough to understand that the love Jaskier feels for his family and his best friend in the whole wide world doesn't take anything away from the love and connection he might find himself slowly developing with him also.

Queerplatonic relationships (i.e. friendships that go beyond what society typically defines as friendships, and bend the boundaries between friendship and romance) do exist in real life, so it would make sense for them to also be portrayed in fiction.

So, while I do understand where you're coming from, I think we have to be careful to avoid equating the lack of romantic feelings in a relationship with "queerbaiting".

And/or hearing "platonic" and immediately thinking it means "less than romantic", or that it does not open the door for other types of physical attraction (aesthetic, sensual, sexual...).

Especially when the actor has been referring to the character as being somewhere on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, and people that are on the aromantic/asexual do very much recognize their own behaviors and relationship dynamics in the way Jaskier has been portrayed on screen.

And, for once, they did have a scene where it's made rather clear that Jaskier very rarely (if ever) experiences crushes for other people.

He falls in love easily and enjoys having affairs, but now he's swooning over how intelligent and insightful Radovid, while saying that the problem is "different", the solution is "different", Radovid is "different" to him... Not "more than", but different. Simply different.

People on the aromantic spectrum are part of the queer community, too, and I think that they've made a great job of showing the types of intense friendships and companionships that aromantics can yearn for with Jaskier and Geralt.

Even the fact that Geralt struggles with calling Jaskier his "friend" could be read as him being confused over the way that Jaskier expresses affection towards him in a way that blends elements of traditional friendships with a dynamic that society perceives as typically belonging to romantic partners.

When you start watching Season 1 with the idea of Jaskier being A-spec in mind, it looks like you have this sweet aromantic guy having the squish to end all squishes on another man, and wanting to basically marry his best friend so the two of them become lifelong travel companions!

But the other guy is this highly confused alloromantic that can't wrap his mind around what's happening, and already struggles with handling more traditional relationships, nevermind a queerplatonic one!

Jaskier: "Now, now, stop your boorish grunts of protest. It is one night bodyguarding your very best friend in the whole wide world. How hard could it be?"

Geralt: "I'm not your friend."

Jaskier: "Oh. Oh, really? Oh, you usually just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom? Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. That's what I thought."

Geralt: *Looking at Jaskier in utter disbelief, wondering how that idiot does not appear to realize how awfully domestic and intimate having someone rub chamomile onto his bottom is, and that most of his friends wouldn't typically bathe him the way he does, nor wash his fucking hair! That's not what Geralt's friends usually do, Jaskier! What Geralt is used to call "friendship" and what you call "friendship" might be a tad different... You're being very, very queer to him right now...*

And although Yennefer's interest in Geralt is romantic, I genuinely believe that both she and Jaskier perceive Geralt as a form companion or life partner.

I think they have different expectations towards the relationship and ways of relating to him, but whenever Yennefer is there, she has Geralt's attention and becomes his priority - like society would expect one to behave in the presence of their romantic interest.

We are told that it's normal for romance to take priority over friendships.

But what happens when the strongest and highest form of love you typically experience is platonic, not romantic?

What happens when those platonic feelings are so deep that a friend can be the very center of your whole world, and breaking up with your best friend can cause the same level of loss and devastation as people would typically expect from the loss of a lover?

What happens when your friendship comes with a strong desire for commitment, partnership, and a certain level of emotional and physical intimacy that people mistakenly believe is reserved for romantic couples?

What happens when your best friend in the whole wide world romantically falls in love with another, and suddenly the friendship you share with him is treated as being secondary to his romance?

What happens when you're no longer his main life partner while they are still yours, and the romantic partner takes that role?

What do you do? Where do you fit in that equation?

Queer relationships involve emotional (platonic, alterous, romantic...) and/or physical (aesthetic, sensual, sexual...) attraction being expressed in a combination of ways that are "unusual" or fall "outside of the norms".

"Queerbaiting" is, at least from the way I understand it, the use of queer coding to attract a queer audience, with the intent of denying that the characters were ever queer coded, and/or that the heavily queer coded relationship shown on screen was ever queer coded in the first place.

If we start calling every queer relationship that is not about the romantic love between two (or more) people of the same gender "queerbaiting", it might become a bit of a problem.

However, I do acknowledge that the fact that there didn't seem to be any clear plan to make Jaskier queer in the two first seasons (from my understanding, it's something that Joey had been asking questions about without receiving any clear answers, and exploring on his own, apparently) does generate a certain level of ambiguity.

Because yes, queerplatonic relationships can 100% read as romantic from the outside. And the way Jaskier expresses his affections towards Geralt is extremely compatible with that of an aromantic character that is squishing hard on a best friend, and has a hard time dealing with the arrival of a romantic partner in his life.

Or it could also reasonably read as someone that has a hard time coming to terms with his romantic feelings for his best friend as well.

It can read as both.

Still, the way he seems to questions his feelings at times - saying that he's trying to work on what "pleases him" - this sort of awareness that the way he loves and gets attached to people in general seems a bit different than what people would expect, does feel very representative of an A-spec character, and beautifully makes it work.

Like personally, I've never really understood why you couldn't just choose to marry your best friend and raise children with them instead of going for a romantic partner, but that's me!

I don't find romance that essential or important in one's life, despite the fact that my romantic partner is sort of the love of my life and I wouldn't want to lose him (I know, it does sound hypocritical when I say it like that).

But it's not because the attraction is romantic per say. I think it's just because it's specifically him (I don't know if that makes sense?).

Like I've gotten so attached to him, and the type of romantic relationship he's offered me and we've built together is so inclusive and respectful of those other relationships I have, that now that I have him, I want to keep and cherish what we have for as long as I humanly can.

But I probably would have lived a very happy and fulfilling life if I hadn't been romantically involved with anyone, and would have chosen a best friend as a life companion, or have had several different types of companionship.

Or I'd probably have lived a very happy and fulfilling life if the feelings I felt towards him involved platonic, aesthetic, sensual, and sexual attraction, without any bit of romance!

Romance just changes the flavor of that love a bit. It doesn't make it better or stronger, just different.

He's more of a spoon than a hammer, I think, but a hammer would have been great!

Like you can totally want to kiss and fuck a best friend, you know? Just like you can romantically have a crush on someone that you don't find sexually attractive at all­.

I've named six types of attractions (the six that I've more commonly read about, and tend to be more personally hyper-aware of in my relationships), but there are probably a lot more! And you can sort of combine them in any way you want!

To me, that's the very essence and spirit of what "queerness" is: allowing yourself to experience love and relationships in any way that pleases you, as long as you respect what pleases others.

Ultimately it transcends labels and definitions, but they do help when it comes to trying to explaining certain nuances and concepts in the way you feel, get attached to people, and experience those attachments.

I get upset with "queerbaiting", when there's a denial of any queer intent in the relationship, or we are being told that we've basically been "hallucinating" that the characters have been very queer coded, and/or that the relationship has been heavily queer coded.

If you tell me that there's nothing queer in the relationship between Jaskier and Geralt, I might have a bit of a problem with that.

If you tell me that it's very queer, yet also very platonic, with one of the two characters offering the A-spec community some much needed representation? I'm more than fine with that!

i meant to mention this back when season three first came out but uh. i forgor. but. I think the third season of The Witcher really demonstrates how the presence of queerness does not negate the presence of queerbaiting, and that it can in fact be used as a method of sidestepping allegations of queerbaiting.

Like I know I'm not the only one who noticed how aggressively they "no homo" backpedaled the dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt. They did it in a way that was really aggressive and jarring too, like even if you saw zero queercoding you could tell the relationship dynamic was altered in a weird way. There was just such an absolute lack of subtlety with their no-homo'ing? like iirc there's straight up a scene where Jaskier pretty much explicitly is like "i could never see you romantically <3 we r suuuuch bros <3 best buds !" which was such a weirdly transparent attempt at shutting down the previous dynamic established between them.

What's especially wild to me is that in that season they changed the dynamic between Geralt and Jaskier so much that there really wasn't much going on ship-wise between them anyway, regardless of that weirdly explicit declaration of platonic-ness. They didn't even need to do all that !!!!

This weirdly aggressive and sudden change in dynamic at the same time as making Jaskier canonically bi was such a transparent attempt at escaping the queerbaiting allegations lol. Like it was like "yeah we wanna shut this down hard but people will get mad so. here's a canon queer character" lmao

idk. i feel like this may be something that's getting phased out as a tactic to a degree -- or rather, shifting its exact methodology -- but "escaping queerbaiting allegations by introducing a canon queer character" is definitely an established thing i see pretty often. I also think the shift in tactic (from introducing a new side character for that purpose, to canonizing a main character's queerness) isn't actually better when the intent remains the same. Idk ! I'd just be a lot less critical of Jaskier being canonically queer if it weren't so clearly linked to an attempt to sidestep queerbaiting allegations.

[thelostgirl21]

Why I firmly believe sapiosexuality, sapioromantism, demisexuality, demiromantism, and other forms of greyromantic and greysexual identities are not only valid, but deserve the same respect as any other queer identities.

[Above: Jaskier (from Netflix's "The Witcher"), whose actor, Joey Batey, described as sharing a sapioromantic and sapiosexual connection with Radovid in Season 3.]

Recently, I've seen texts and videos arguing that demiromantism, demisexuality, sapioromantism, sapiosexuality, etc. are not "real" queer identities, and do not deserve to be represented as such.

In the case of sapioromantism/sapiosexuality, some of those arguments go even further; by claiming that the idea that one could be romantically/sexually attracted towards intelligence would be highly problematic.

So, I thought I would take the time to compare the main arguments I found that are regularly given to invalidate sapiosexuality to the way we treat other sexualities, and address the aspects of those arguments that make absolutely no sense to me, and often sadly reflect clear bias within the queer community.

For example:

1. "It's just a preference."

So is preferring men, women, or any other gender identities when it comes to choosing a sexual partner.

Just because some human beings really are adverse to having sex with certain gender identities, or are specifically driven to "find themselves a man" (for example), doesn't mean that all human beings develop any instinctive preference when it comes to the gender of their sexual partners. Some really are rather apathetic to it.

And, while genitalia does play a role in sexual intercourse, the sight of genitalia, or the thought of interacting with that part of a partner's anatomy, does not automatically trigger a sense of sexual arousal in everyone.

If you personally find seeing, touching, or kissing penises and vaginas sexually arousing or stimulating, there's absolutely nothing shameful about that, and please continue to enjoy it to your heart's content! Lots of people sexually feel that way, it is very healthy (well, as long as you take preventive measures to avoid spreading sexually transmitted infections, obviously, and consent is asked and given all around), so go for it with pride, alright?

But please also do acknowledge that, for some of us, those are but weird-looking body parts (like some funny sea cucumber or oyster, IMHO) that serve a very specific sensory purpose. i.e. they are a means of receiving pleasurable tactile sensations and offering them to a partner, but otherwise are not particularly appealing to have to deal with.

Sexually, as far as some of us are concerned, that's pretty much all vaginas and penises have to offer.

Actually, when you have ADHD with extremely high levels of creativity and a tendency to give personalities to inanimate objects, sometimes dealing with genitalia can make you completely lose sexual arousal and inspire you to get really silly in bed, because those are really funny looking and personable body parts, and it's so tempting to start making them talk like puppets!

And it just so happens that I could care less about which "silly puppet" I'm "playing with" when I'm having sex! I've got no preference!

One's all gooey, floppy and pulsating; while the other gets real tense, expands and eventually shoots white stuff. So yeah, they obviously look and feel different. But otherwise? I don't even see why it should matter, or why I'd be supposed to want to pick one particular "puppet" over the other!

I don't personally find them sexually arousing to touch, taste, or look at! They are but a means to an end.

So yeah, we all have our personal preferences, and specific things that we instinctively feel sexually attracted to in another person when it comes to sex.

But preferring certain genders, or even one type of genitalia over another, is not how my own sexuality works.

Perhaps it makes sense to you, and this is a good thing! You can and should have preferences... of any kind, really!

But I just don't personally get it.

To me, hearing someone say "I'm only attracted to men, not women" is exactly the same as someone telling me "I'm only attracted to blondes, not brunettes".

Both are 100% valid preferences, and I respect you for having them. It's cool! You can be exclusively into blondes and/or be exclusively into men if you'd like!

I'm exclusively into geeks, I get it! Some preferences matter so much that you can't perceive another human being as sexually desirable without them.

But don't try to imply everyone should feel anything about the gender of their sexual partner(s), and/or that we should give it more importance than any other trait a person has when it comes to defining our sexuality.

Sexuality is an extremely instinctive and preferential phenomenon, where what "turns one on" can wildly vary from person to person.

Some are exclusionary preferences that are apparently deeply rooted in one's biology (gender preferences seem to often fall in that category for most people), while others are likely to be acquired through socialization, and perhaps even conditioning.

And look, I'm fully willing to consider that the lack of sexual response towards another human being's genitalia, and/or the gender of a partner, might be tied to my having a neurodivergent mind, and/or having skipped some early neurodevelopmental stages.

Recognizing that one's gender preferences is likely rooted deep within their biology - that it's a preference they were likely born with - and that they don't have the option of being sexually attracted to certain genders, does not negate the fact that some of us simply aren't wired the same way.

Who is to say that my utter lack of sexual response towards gender is not simply rooted deep into my own biology, too?

Perhaps some of us are born with the ability to experience homosexual desires, others with the ability to experience heterosexual desires, others with the ability to experience both heterosexual and homosexual desires, others with the ability to find another human sexually desirable despite the absence any heterosexual or homosexual desires, and some people are simply unable to find another human sexually desirable.

Still, the point is that, regardless of whether a sexual preference we have is innate or acquired (the good ol' "nature v.s. nurture" debate); the level of personal control one has over those instinctive preferences - i.e. that inner sexual drive that orients us towards those we perceive as sexually desirable - is likely to be fairly limited.

We can find ourselves being sexually turned on by what we perceive as expressions of gender, intellect, emotional sensitivity, strength, vulnerability, dancing skills, musicality, certain specific physical features, and so forth in another person.

Sometimes, it seems that sexual attraction actually requires very specific combinations involving many different preferences to stronger and lesser degrees.

So, as long as it doesn't make that person feel miserable to be "wired" a certain way, I don't see why it should matter that one would be very queer in their own preferences, and wish to proudly express it.

Being apathetic towards the perceived gender, and/or the gender expression of a sexual partner, has only ever made me feel miserable when people start insisting that it's a preference that everyone has.

Or whenever they are trying to confound the issue, by perversely attempting to imply that my instinctive lack of sexual response towards the gender identity of a partner means that I don't value nor respect their gender identity socially.

Respecting that one identifies as a man, seeing them as a man, acknowledging that they are a man, and insisting that society recognises them as such (for example, by allowing them to use bathrooms that align with their gender), is one thing.

But I don't see why my inability to find anything sexually appealing in the way they express their gender, and/or in the way I perceive people's masculinity in general, would say anything about my acceptance of who they are as a person.

If you want to use those labels to objectively categorize human sexual behavior, then I consider it to be another subject entirely!

If you want to ask me "Do you have the capacity to engage in sexual intercourse with members of your own gender and of genders that are different than your own?"

Well sure! Absolutely!

I can have sex with people that identify as men, women, and non-binary. I can display bisexual behavior.

This is what can be objectively observed from the outside, without the observer having any insight, whatsoever, into what motivates my behavior, or causes it to occur.

But if it's about our sexual identity - i.e. what orients that sexual behavior (i.e. what causes it to happen) - and who we are attracted to, for some of us, gender genuinely plays no role in that sense of sexual attraction.

But the way we emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually, etc. connect with another human being, regardless of gender perception or identity, might sexually arouse us.

And I feel like this is what some sexual orientations - like demisexuality and sapiosexuality, for example - are essentially really trying to tell us, and allow us to put the emphasis on.

They simply show a need for us to clearly express who we are as individuals, what "pleases us", drives us to seek sexual contact with another person, and what causes - or prevents - that sexual behavior from happening.

So, we can find other people that experience their sexuality in a way that feels similar to ours, we can feel understood by them, and we can share a sense of community with them.

At least, that's how I understand it, and that's what I personally mean when I use labels to describe my own sexual identity.

If we described sexual orientation clinically, in a way that had nothing to do with how we experience our sexuality, and was all about what could be observed from the outside, i.e. :

- Heterosexuality: subject is known to only sexually engage with people of a gender identity different than their own.

- Homosexuality: subject is known to only sexually engage with people of the same gender identity as themselves.

- Bisexuality: subject is know to sexually engage with people of the same gender identity and of a gender identity different than their own.

- Asexuality: subject isn't known to sexually engage with people of any gender identity.

Then I'd be 100% fine with people saying that I behave bisexually.

Because it is true. I do have the ability to sexually engage with people of any gender regardless of my reasons for being comfortable with having sex with them.

But otherwise, I'm a human being, not a human doing.

What I do is not who I am.

And my personal opinion is that using our sexual behavior to define our sexual orientation would only benefit other people, not ourselves.

It would be a way of letting people know if their gender is sexually compatible with ours, nothing else.

Those definitions absolutely don't help me better understand who I am, what I desire, how I desire it, what my sexual needs and interpersonal boundaries are with others, and seek out experiences that allow me to get in touch with my own sexuality.

They miss all the nuances, richness, and uniqueness of the human sexual experience.

And, in truth? If a woman tells you that she is straight, it only means: "that woman won't be sexually turned off by you being a man".

That's all. In light of all those other personal instinctive preferences that woman might have, it really isn't all such a useful information for you to have about her.

It doesn't tell you if she might be sexually turned on by you being smaller than she is, by you having brown eyes, by you having a baritone voice, by you having certain personality traits, etc.

And, quite frankly, I see this whole "it's perfectly acceptable to say you're not sexually interested in someone because they aren't of the right gender, but wrong to say you're not sexually interested in someone because of them displaying heavy ADHD traits (before you're ask, I have intense ADHD traits that keep showing all the time! Think Jake Peralta!)" as utter and complete nonsense!

It's like we keep sending out the message:

"Only gender preferences are real, universal, and worthy of being considered a sexual orientation!

All other preferences are but minor forms of fetishism that can be easily overcome. They are not valid reasons to fail to find another human being sexually desirable!"

Am I the only one that sees that fixed, rigid, gender-oriented system as a means of policing people's (women's, especially) sexual desires?

"What?! But you say you like men, and I'm a man!

Thus, are you implying that I'm not good looking enough for you? That I'm not smart enough? That I'm not tall enough? That I am not man enough?

If you aren't sexually attracted to me, despite me being a man, that means you're just being shallow, racist, ableist, elitist, and so forth!

You should be ashamed for being so superficial / unreasonable!

I am therefore 100% entitled to refuse to take "no" for an answer, and continue insisting on trying to seduce you. Or I can at the very least throw all my sexual frustration on you - insulting you over your rejection - as you have failed to provide me with any justifiable reason for us being sexually incompatible!

Because there is but one type of sexual orientation. Short of being a lesbian, everything else is a blatant excuse!"

Essentially: "I'm a man, you're a woman, and you are straight.

Therefore, I am owed to be found sexually attractive by you, unless you have a good enough reason not to! And, since sexual orientation is limited to gender preferences, I have the right to mock, belittle, and criticise any other preference that orients your sexuality, invalidate them, and insult you for having them.

I also have the right to take your lack of sexual interest in me as a personal insult and attack, as it is clearly meant to send me the message that I'm not 'man enough' to be a sexually desirable mate. I am justified in seeking to make you pay for it!"

Dude, maybe that woman is someone that usually feels sexually turned on by people over 5'8", and you're 5'3"...

And maybe her sexual instincts could ignore you being 5'3" if you had red hair, but they are blonde.

And maybe being 5'3" with blonde hair could be instinctively ignored, if you had a deeper voice.

Basically, even non-exclusionary preferences might play a huge role in sexual attraction.

When taken all together, they may be allowing your sexual instincts to overlook whatever usually instinctively "turns you off" , if there are more characteristics in a person that actively "turns you on"!

I had a gay man once tell me: "Okay, this is confusing as hell to me, because you really are exactly my type of person, and I feel kinda strongly sexually attracted to you... except you're a woman!? And I've never felt attracted to women before!? How's that possible!? "

Look, maybe I simply scored high on so many of his other non gender-related personal sexual preferences, that it ended up overriding the way he usually feels about the gender of a sexual partner, somehow.

Him being sexually oriented towards men - first and foremost - remains absolutely true. But that instinctive preference might not be 100% exclusionary if someone displays a constellation of traits that are so sexually arousing to him, that they wind up triggering that sexual attraction, regardless of his usual preferred gender.

Do I find men sexually attractive? No. But the geek I'm sexually attracted to so happens to be a man, so I'm not sexually adverse to him being a man.

Human sexuality is very multi-factorial and complex.

And yes, I do feel like we would all benefit from openly recognizing any important preferences one has as valid sexual orientations.

Perhaps, then, we wouldn't take "rejection" so personally, and let it affect the way we perceive or value our own femininity or masculinity (or any variation on that theme falling outside the binary) so hard.

No one has to agree with me and define themselves in the same way, but this is how I make sense of sexual identities and the labels we use.

2. "You're just saying that you're 'sapiosexual' to say everyone else is more 'shallow' than you are, because they are attracted to physical appearance, while you only care about what's inside their heads!"

Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Back up!

In society, we keep talking about the masculine brain, the feminine brain; women sports, men sports; feminine interests and masculine interests; feminine personality traits and masculine personality traits, and so forth...

I've heard men say that women that often get angry, and they perceive as being "too aggressive" (often implied as being "too masculine") lose their sexual appeal, etc.

We keep explaining to people that gender is a social construct, and gender identity is about how we identify (or don't identify) with gender within ourselves, as well as our need (or lack thereof) to express it.

We are told that gender is tied to certain personalities, physical, and intellectual traits, expectations, roles, behaviors, etc. in society, that are deemed masculine and feminine, and how you personally identify with either of them, both, fall outside of them, somewhere in between, etc. will tend to define your gender...

So, why are we expecting heterosexuals, homosexuals - and every other sexuality that gives a damn about the gender of their partners - to care more about the physical appearance and the genitalia of their partner(s), than about the way they perceive their partner(s) as having a sexually appealing masculine/feminine/non-binary personality or mind?

A gay man could be sexually turned on by the way they are personally able to connect with what they perceive as masculine personalities and behaviors, with very little care for how their partner physically looks, and still be gay!

They could care very little about penises, be into "masculine hearts, not masculine parts", and still 100% be gay!

Why is gender something that we socially recognize as being expressed through the entirety of a person - the psychological, the emotional, the physical, the behavioral, the intellectual...

And yet, when it comes to discussing sexuality and sexual orientations, suddenly "gender" only boils down to "do you like boobies or male tits, and do you want the V or the D?"

What the ever loving fuck is going on?

And being sapiosexual doesn't mean that only intellectually connecting with a person matters.

Just like being demisexual doesn't mean that only emotionally connecting with a person matters.

It means that we experience secondary sexual attraction only once we've established that primary intellectual or emotional connection.

Basically, no matter how aesthetically or sensually physically attractive we can find another person to be at first sight, we are genuinely unable to experience any sense of sexual arousal (i.e. sexual attraction) towards that person until that other specific condition is met.

We need to either experience a deep sense of emotional connection (demisexuality) or a significant intellectual connection (sapiosexuality) in order for us to be sexually turned on by a partner.

I've heard men say "if my partner is taller than I am, I can't get it up! It's a complete turn off! "

Well, in my case, "if we're not at the very least close friends, and there's nothing I perceive as being geeky about you, the floodgates won't open!"

It's as simple as that.

BUT it needs to be combined with other preferences, too!

Ex: I'm rarely ever sexually aroused by anyone that is much taller and heavier than I am (because I instinctively prefer being the big spoon in bed).

I tend to be more easily aroused by people that have a bubble butt (regardless of said bubble butt being perceived as feminine, masculine, both, gender neutral, etc.).

I have a "thing" for dimples.

I tend to be very sensitive to certain voice types.

Etc.

Most preferences aren't exclusionary (my partner of nearly two decades doesn't have dimples, and it's perfectly fine), some (i.e. those that I will say orient my sexuality) are.

A sapiosexual gay man, for example, that needs to first intellectually connect with a person to experience sexual attraction, could be exclusively into bodies that they perceive as masculine, and even have a non-exclusionary preference for penises as well!

It's just that they'd first need to establish an intellectual bond with their partner before finding said partner's masculine physical appearance and/or "the D" sexually attractive!

Sexual orientations are prerequisites, not the only thing that matters.

Ex: to a lesbian, their partner being a woman is a prerequisite for them to develop a sense of sexual arousal towards said partner, but it's not the only thing that matters.

So again, why is it that most sapiosexual critical arguments I've found put such pressure on sapiosexuals to be sexually aroused exclusively by people's brains, with an utter disregard for the way that person physically looks, behaves, whatever personality they have, etc.?

When heterosexual and homosexual people, for example, can gladly experience sexual arousal in a multi-factorial manner, with plenty of other exclusionary and non-exclusionary personal preferences, as long as the person they are sexually attracted to is of the "right gender preference".

We recognize that "the person having the right gender" is a prerequisite for them to be sexually turned on.

So why is it so hard to simply recognize that the right type of intellectual (sapio) or emotional (demi) connection is but a prerequisite for sapiosexuals and demisexuals to be sexually turned on?

Everything else, that would usually matter if we weren't sapiosexual and/or demisexual, can and often will still matter to us.

Demisexuals and sapiosexuals can also identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, omnisexual, pansexual, etc. depending on how they relate (or fail to relate) to a partner's gender.

A demisexual and a sapiosexual can be as "shallow" as anyone experiencing "sexual arousal at first sight" (primary sexual attraction) towards a partner, too!

It simply creates a delay for us to get there, and for other sexual preferences that we may or may not have to play their own roles.

First we need to emotionally and/or intellectually connect; and THEN we may experience attraction like most allosexuals probably would. i.e. Taking into consideration a partner's gender identity, or not, any preference in genitalia we may or may not have, any preference in heights, body types, personalities, aesthetic appearance, voice types, and so forth...

Because there are plenty of people that I do develop a strong emotional bond with and that are geeks (my two main exclusionary preferences), that I do feel absolutely no sexual attraction for regardless of my being demisexual and exclusively sexually into geeks!

That emotional (or intellectual, in the case of sapiosexuality) bond is 100% needed to be sexually aroused by a partner, but it does not guarantee that we'll find them sexually attractive, either.

It's a requirement - the spark that will light the fire - but a spark alone can't light that fire all by itself if there's nothing to feed that fire, and/or keep it sustained.

3. "Sapiosexuality, i.e. implying you're sexually attracted towards intelligence, is ableist!"

Okay, there are so many layers to address here, and this feels so impossibly wrong on so many levels!

First, I believe that this interpretation comes from the way some sapiosexuals will describe their sexuality as them "being sexually attracted to highly intelligent people".

And by saying "highly intelligent people", this comes across as exclusively meaning "people with a high I.Q. score".

But, when you dig a bit deeper to understand what's actually meant by that, it's often explained as feeling a sense of sexual arousal from engaging in deeply intellectually stimulating conversations with a partner. Ex:

Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain, and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person. This means the person whom you are attracted to might have a tendency to have an incisive, inquisitive, and irreverent mind. As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political, or psychological discussions, because this turns them on. (x)

To me, this doesn't so much sound as a question of being sexually turned on by quantitative intelligence or having "a high I.Q.", but more about an interest in figuring out, and being fascinated by, the other person's intellectual thought processes and, sometimes, in sharing your own thoughts with them.

It's about finding the way the other person displays their own intellect sexually arousing, the same way an heterosexual woman might be sexually aroused by the expression of masculinity - or any gender not her own - in another person.

Ever since I can remember, I've been exclusively romantically and sexually attracted towards fellow "geeks". Towards people that tend to fall in love with a specific field of interest, gather as much knowledge as they can on that subject, and have a tendency to get very passionate and animated while sharing that knowledge with others.

But I have a hard time clearly figuring out if what romantically and sexually attracts me towards that "geek energy" (let's call it that) that some people openly seem to openly display are personality traits (an inquisitive mind, sense of curiosity, desire to dig deep, explore ideas and concepts thoroughly, etc.) or the way that they use their intellect to explore all those ideas and concepts.

But yes, I do genuinely get sexually turned on by my partner passionately explaining in great details how lithium car batteries work (for example). It's ridiculous! Don't ask me how it makes sense, rationally, it probably doesn't! But there's something about the energy he puts in the way he's speaking and emoting when he gets really into a subject he knows and enjoys that acts like some kind of sexual desires trigger!

It's insanely inconvenient, too! Like most of the moments where I'd really want to have sex with him happen in completely inappropriate places and times! But, that's just how my body and sexual instincts work and respond to him, and therefore I've had to learn to deal with it!

So, to go back to the whole "ableist accusation", the problem seems to come from the idea that saying that "you are only sexually attracted to people displaying a certain type (or level of) intelligence" would be perceived as being the same as discriminating against people that are not considered "highly intelligent enough".

And that statement is problematic to me on so many levels!

First, because it confuses the instinctive drive to have sex with another human being with what people appear to establish as the right of another person to be considered as a sexually desirable being within society.

And the problem is that you are not supposed to offer the whole planet population equal opportunity to your bed and to your own body, for frak's sake!

Last I heard, that wasn't how sexual desires were supposed to work!

Sexual needs are extremely preferential and I do not believe, for one second, that they are meant to reflect our profound beliefs and values about society, and the need for it to be as safe and inclusive as possible.

Do we accuse every gay man of being deeply sexist at their core, because the fact that they lack the ability to be sexually attracted towards women could be interpreted as them wishing to imply that women are not worthy of being sexually desired?

No. We recognize that being homosexual is but a manifestation of that person's sexual preferences.

We recognize that you can't force sexual attraction, and that one's own sexual preferences aren't meant to reflect their social values, nor their desire for inclusiveness and equity within society.

When that preference is gender, it seems that most people will readily agree that sexual attraction is about experiencing an instinctive need to have sex with certain people, while lacking any desire to have sex with other people.

It's not "sexist", we're simply wired that way. It's what our sexual instincts dictate, nothing more to it.

Heterosexuals, homosexuals, and any other sexual orientation where gender plays a role in how one experiences sexual desires, thus allows one to sexually discriminate against whichever gender(s) they want.

And it's considered valid and normal to do so.

So, how is it that, when the same phenomenon occurs in relation to other types of preferences (height, intelligence, body types, personality types, etc.), like say someone who's only able to instinctively desire to have sex with a person whose intelligence they find sexually attractive (sapiosexual), they would be seen as discriminating against other types of intellect, and being perceived as being "ableist"?

I don't get it! How does that argument remotely work for you?

You are either sexually "turned on" by a characteristic that a person displays, or you're not. It's not a question of personal choices or values, but of instinctive sexual attraction and drive to have sex with certain people over others.

Thus, arguments such as: "How dare you say that you only want to fuck people that [insert sexual preference here]? Are you saying people that don't display that specific trait or preference don't deserve to be fucked? Are you being racists/ableist/elitist/etc.?" should not even exist!

Because if you think it's fine to discriminate against a sexual partner based on their gender without calling that gender preference "sexism", I believe you need to accept that it's fine to lack any desire to get sexually involved with a person based on any other preference that person has!

Because it's all preferences, and everybody has their own. And not everyone you meet owes you sex!

If people displaying strong and obvious ADHD traits sexually turns you off, my ADHD arse will give you a huge high five and say "rock on!"

I'm used to most gay men not finding me sexually attractive, because I present as being mostly feminine to them (there has been exceptions, as previously stated).

So, why in the world would I ever be remotely upset over someone finding my ADHD behavior/personality traits to be a sexual turn off?

It's perfectly fine that we are not sexually compatible, regardless of whatever reasons we have not to be sexually compatible.

If being with a sexual partner that keeps getting easily distracted, losing momentum, and being really silly/playful in bed kills the mood and the whole pleasure of the sexual experience for you, I'd be making you miserable!

I don't need you to want to fuck me to feel validated as a human being and a worthwhile member of society.

I'll just find myself someone more sexually compatible with me, that's all. And so should you.

And when it comes to the idea of experiencing sexual attraction based on perceived intellect, I can tell you that one of the most beautiful and fascinating minds I know belongs to a man with a developmental disability that is not considered especially "smart" based on classic I.Q. tests, but has this deep artistic and empathetic sensitivity towards TV and movie characters, especially.

He's my partner's cousin, and in his family people tend to find holding conversations with him "tiring", because he keeps talking about the same movies over and over again, and quoting the same quotes, while analysing every aspect of each character he finds fascinating, etc.

But so do I. I saw "Pacific Rim" in 2013, and every single day ever since I've seen it I do at least one thing that is related to that movie. I never get tired of re-watching and analyzing those scenes, listening to its soundtrack, quoting different passages.

And each time I hear those quotes, listen to the music, watch those scenes, read fanfiction, etc., I relive the excitement of the very first time I watched the movie in theaters. It fills me with joy, with excitement, or sometimes even with calm and peace.

And I'm neurodivergent, but extremely good at masking and appearing "normal" in social settings. I'm also what people call "gifted", so I do very well in academic or certain types of work settings despite my disabilities.

I'm an expert at looking 100% normal and blending in, if people don't spend more than a few hours with me and if they perceive the ADHD traits as personality quirks (I can also manage them, and prevent them from showing in some circumstances, but it's extremely draining for me).

So, every time there's a big family dinner, I always look forward to that cousin being there because, simply put: we intellectually connect.

My brain and his get in sync, and we get lost into our own world of TV, movies, stories, music, and fantasy!

It's simple, it's honest, it's easy, it's sincere, it's nurturing, and it's intellectually filling!

And it took a while for the other people in his family to understand that I wasn't spending so much time talking to him out of some misplaced sense of compassion, but because I genuinely crave those conversations and sense of kinship as much as he does.

He's absolutely brilliant in his very own unique way, and what he has to intellectually offer is amazing if you are willing to enter his own world and go on a journey with him.

According to society, he isn't "smart". To me, he's the smartest and most insightful person in the room.

The way we perceive and respond to someone else's intellect is diverse, complex, and extremely subjective.

Do not assume that "high intelligence" means one specific thing, or one specific model of intelligence to sapiosexuals.

Do not assume sapiosexuality excludes the intelligence models that can be found in neurodiverse and or intellectually disabled individuals.

It's about the way brains connect, and/or the way one displays and expresses their own intellectual faculties that will trigger that sense of fascination leading towards sexual arousal.

I don't see what's ableist about needing to be intellectually stimulated by a partner in order to experience that sense of sexual arousal.

No more than it is sexist to need to perceive our partner as being feminine in order to experience a sense of sexual arousal.

4. Studies have shown that human beings are more likely to form couples and be sexually attracted to people with intelligences that are close to their own. Therefore, we're all sapiosexual.

a) "Amory", "partnering", "coupling", etc. Basically any word saying "the desire to form any type of relationship partnership", is not the same as "being attracted to".

You can experience romantic, aesthetic, platonic, sensual, etc. attraction for someone, yet have no desire to make any form of commitment, and/or enter a relationship with them.

Just think about people that romantically fall in love with someone they realise is abusive, and decide to reject that relationship for their own good despite still having strong romantic desires for them.

They're still romantically and possibly sexually attracted, but no longer wish to be amorous with them.

And again, we are talking romantic/sexual behaviors (the decision to act upon those romantic/sexual desires) over romantic/sexual identity (what inspires us those romantic/sexual desires in another person).

b) The definition given in that statement technically also includes scenarios where someone is sexually interested in a person (experiences primary sexual attraction), decides to approach them, starts talking with them, realises they are complete morons, becomes sexually turned off, and therefore are no longer sexually attracted to them.

That has nothing to do with sapiosexuality!

Sapiosexuality is when you don't find people sexually attractive in general.

But, at some point, while conversing with someone and/or listening to them talk, the way their mind works generates a sense of sexual arousal / desire (secondary sexual attraction).

ONLY THEN, does their physical appearance, personality, perhaps gender expression, the tone of their voice, and any other secondary preferences you have might come into play in your ability to remain sexually attracted to them, and/or in your eventual decision to act upon your sapiosexual desires.

If having no primary fascination with someone's mind does not prevent you from finding them sexually attractive before you start getting intrigued by the way their brain works, and/or connecting with it, it's not sapiosexuality.

You are simply sexually turned off by certain forms of intelligences that are incompatible with yours.

The way you perceive a person's intellect can negate the initial sexual attraction, but it is not what causes that sexual attraction.

In sapiosexuals, the intellect is a primary (or co-primary) trigger when it comes to sexual desires. Other preferences tend to be secondary.

Note: while I've put the focus of this post on sapiosexuality rather than sapioromantism, the same principles also apply to those that identify as sapioromantic.

It's just that romantic desires tend to be harder for people to clearly define and conceptualize; when sexual desires are often perceived as being rather straightforward (given the physical response typically associated with it).

Therefore, I found it easier to focus more on a single form of attraction (sexual) to get those points across and hopefully help people understand the nuances between someone who is allosexual (capable of primary sexual attraction) and greysexual (capable of secondary sexual attraction, once a specific condition has been met), rather than muddy things up too much.

But yes, being sapioromantic (or even, sapioplatonic sapioalterous, sapioaesthetic or sapiosensual...), would simply mean that what initially triggers your romantic (platonic, alterous, aesthetic, or sensual...) attraction towards another person is the way you connect with their perceived intellect as well.

When it comes to demiromantism and demisexuality, instead of accusations of "ableism", the main offender often tends to be the idea that demisexuals are just people that are morally against the idea of having sex with others in the absence of deeper emotions.

Again, there's a difference between the way we experience sexual desires, and the way we sexually behave.

A demisexual individual could easily choose to engage in casual sexual activity with someone they are not at all sexually attracted to, simply because they enjoy having sex for the physical gratification that the sexual activity provides them.

"How could you be interested in having sex with someone you're not sexually attracted to?", I hear some of you ask.

Take a look at your hand.

Do you find said hand sexually attractive (if the answer is yes, I won't judge! We'll find you another example, no worries... A neon vibrating dildo that's shaped like a tiny dolphin? A shower head, perhaps?)?

Using the wonderful power of imagination and sexual fantasies, can that very non-sexually attractive hand provide you with plenty of delicious sexual physical sensations to enjoy?

Could it be (let's just put that idea out there) that what inspires you those sexual needs and desires is not the hand itself...

...and yet, the hand gets the job done?

Shockingly, another human being also has hands (and a mouth, a tongue, a penis, a vagina, etc.), and they can very much manage to still "get the job" done, despite not being what inspires you the desire to have sex with them, too.

Unless sexual activity is repulsive to you, or the person themselves inspires you sexual revulsion, you can genuinely choose to have sex with someone that you're not sexually into at all, simply because you enjoy being touched by someone else while you fantasize about the things that do turn you on, for example.

You could also find genuine joy and satisfaction in doing things that an allosexual partner would enjoy mostly for their own benefit (the sexual equivalent of offering them a massage, or cooking for them, in a sense).

You could also choose to use sex as a means of expressing emotional affection and/or sharing physical intimacy when, personally, you'd have been just as happy and satisfied with sensual rather than sexual contact.

So, "asexuality" and "sexual abstinence" are two very, very different concepts.

You do have asexuals that genuinely do not enjoy nor feel comfortable having sex for a variety of personal reasons (including the very valid "I'm just not into it").

But sex-negative or sex-repulsed asexuals, that tend to find sexual activity very unpleasant, are only the tip of the iceberg of the a-spec community (a.k.a. as the people on the aromantic and asexual spectrum).

I would actually say that one of the most groundbreaking a-spec representation (sapioromantic and sapiosexual, according to Batey) I've ever seen on TV is probably the character of Jaskier on "The Witcher".

Because he is portrayed as a very much romance and sex-positive (some might even say romance and sex-craving) a-spec person on the show, that's known to get into trouble for regularly having sex with other people.

But, when you think about it, it does make an awful lot of sense!

Because when you enjoy sex for whatever the sexual activity itself has to offer you (and whatever meaning you wish to give it), without really caring about finding your partner(s) sexually attractive (given you know how to experience sexual arousal and maintain it regardless of sexual attraction), the number of compatible sexual partners you may have can - potentially - become pretty impressive.

You can do whatever you want, with whoever you want, without experiencing any particular need for them to turn you on.

As long as they don't actively turn you off and repulse you, they could absolutely "get the job done" and offer you an amazing time!

If sex is already tons of fun for you, and masturbating alone brings you pleasure... why not masturbate with a friend? Or many, many different strangers, even?

When you're not limited by sexual attraction in the ways you can enjoy sex, imagine the possibilities!

As Jaskier himself says:

Then, this spoon shows up with his sexy, witty brain, and ruins everything...

So, sapiosexuality and/or demisexuality being about some heightened sense of morality, and thinking that having sex with a partner is wrong in the absence of a deeper physical or intellectual connection, rather than being a genuine instinctive sexual orientation? Not really.

It simply is about the way we have (or lack) the capacity to experience sexual arousal in response to other people, based on a variety of features they have.

How we choose to handle and express our desires (or lack thereof) is another story.

Basically, to me, my sexual identity really is about better knowing myself, what orients my desires, and

And the more you understand how your body, heart, mind, and own instinctive desires work, the more I believe it increases your level of agency when it comes to making relationship and and sexual decisions that truly align with your own personal needs and wants in life, in the respect and awareness of the needs and wants of others.

So, a-spec identities, even very queer and unusual ones? I believe that they do matter, and that they do deserve respect and recognition.

They may not be the most pressing matter when it comes to advocacy and keeping queer communities safe, but they do deserve to be given room to exist and be represented, too.

I know I'd likely have personally avoided a lot of bad sexual decisions, situations, disappointments, and even abuses if I'd understood the way my own sexuality worked better, and especially earlier in life.

[jaskierswolf]

Hellu dearest darling Wolfie, you know I am but a simple Nat and what I require most in life is some quiet cuddles in the dark. So, let me humbly request some? Possibly for Dandi or Jask, though it doesn’t really matter. And it’s up to you who cuddles them. Romantic ship or QPR, whatever inspires you, darling. Thank you 🥺💕 hnnnn cuddles

Hide Under the Covers

Pairing: Geraskilion (Jaskier/Geralt & Dandelion) Rating T: CW: Anxiety, hurt/comfort, non-binary they/them Jaskier,

_ Jaskier came home from work feeling absolutely exhausted, which was fucking annoying. They hadn’t even had any work to do, staring at their god damn monitor all day, refreshing the task list, praying that by the time they’d looked at the clock it would be five and time to go home. It shouldn’t have been as tiring as it was, but Jaskier had always known office work wasn’t for them. They’d just been backed into a corner with bills, and pushy parents.

And thus, their office was as dull as the grey clouds of England.

A gorgeous guitar was left gathering dust in the corner of their room, begging to be played, to bring music back into their life once more. But Jaskier just never had the energy anymore. It was heartbreaking. All their hobbies were left to rot, and Jaskier was just so tired all the fucking time.

When they got home Geralt and Dandelion were both still at work; Geralt at the fire station and Dandelion at the late shift in the theatre serving arsehole customers overpriced wine. Jaskier sometimes considered joining Dandelion at work but living and working with their best friend would just be too much. As much as Jaskier loved Dandelion, they needed a break every once in a while. So they padded through the empty house, dropping their bags, coat, lanyard as they went, and then fled to the bedroom, not bothering with the lights. They stripped down to their underwear and dived under the duvet. It was dark, warm and the weight was calming on their head. Jaskier rolled onto their side and pulled up Netflix on their phone.

They couldn’t find anything new to watch, so they settled on rewatching Merlin. Something that always settled them, pretty people, swords, dragons… it was perfect for a demi-bisexual enby who much preferred their crushes to be fictional.

The minutes drifted into hours, and the sun had set without them realising, and they were so engrossed in their world under the duvet they didn’t hear Geralt return home, nor Dandelion shortly after.

Not until there was a soft knock at the door and they were startled from their daze.

“Huh?”

“Jask, darling, are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I come in? Geralt’s here too. We’re worried about you, love.”

“Yeah.”

Jaskier sighed and rolled over onto their stomach. The duvet was lifted from off their head, and they blinked into the darkness at the two shapes, one bulky and silent, the others humming gently with everything breath, bouncing lightly on his toes.

“Lion,” Jask groaned and reached out for their friend.

Both Geralt and Dandelion slipped under with them, wrapping Jaskier up in their arms. It was warm. It was safe. It was perfect.

Nothing was ever complicated with Dandelion or Geralt. Jaskier’s heart belonged to them both; it was only natural as they fell in love quickly and deeply, but it had never hurt that Dandelion didn’t love them back romantically. Their friend loved them deeply, and Jaskier could get their romantic needs from Geralt.

Physically, well… Jaskier wasn’t always interested in sex but when they were Dandelion was there.

It was complicated but it worked for them.

Tonight Jaskier just needed their best friends and the warmth of their arms. They nuzzled against Geralt’s chest, inhaling his rich smoky scent that always helped to ground them. The duvet was still pushed just past Jaskier’s shoulders which was not ideal. They really loved being properly buried, so they let out a small whine.

Dandelion’s fingers brushed down their chest, rubbing the curve of their stomach. “What do you need, love?”

“Squished.”

“I’ll do it,” Geralt hummed, pressing a kiss to Jaskier’s forehead, brushing their fringe out the way, much to Jaskier’s despair. They were always self-conscious about the size of their forehead, which only made Dandelion and Geralt dote on it more.

But before they could truly complain, Geralt had rolled over onto Jaskier’s chest, burying his head into Jaskier’s shoulder. The weight had an instant effect on Jaskier’s anxiety. They sighed happily, hands running through Dandelion’s long hair. The dark was as comforting as the weight of their lover on their chest. It hid the tears in their eyes, hid them from the big ole scary world outside. Nothing mattered beyond the three people in this room, their boyfriend and their very best friend in the whole wide world.

It had been a long week at work, but Jaskier knew that with Geralt and Dandelion by their side, everything would be all right.

_

Tag list: @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde, @comfyswitcherblanketfort, @fontegagrilledcheese, @dani-dandelino, @dapandapod @damnbert @officerjennie @feraljaskier @geralt-of-riviass @kueble @gilberik @llamasdumpsterfire @wherethewordsare @trickstermoose67 @alllthequeenshorses @slythnerd

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Warning : Violence (some graphic). A lot of blood. Post traumatic state, alcoholism, depression, suicidal thoughts. Whump. Nudity. Soft sexe scene. Nightmare visions.

Trigger for the chapter : This is a another graphic chapter. Again, there is no very detailed description of body horror but enough to have bad mental images. There is two graphic shots and a lot of blood, implied rape and still whump so it can trigger.

You have been warned 😊

This is the story of how the raid of Bleobheris turned Jaskier into the Sandpiper.

[Muse Saga]

Chapter 6 : Survivor guilt

I tried to incorporate a little bit of the S3 Jaskier vibe. The demisexual / sapio connection that finally aroused him physically and emotionally. Also I pushed a little bit of "not loved young Jaskier" in it. I have developed a little bit that in "a bird in a cage" but S3 gave me a strong shot of Jaskier hadn't a happy childhood. He is so desperate for his found family.

Maybe I would write about young Jaskier, if you like. I have some ideas.

Now, one more chapter till the end.

See you soon !

[thelostgirl21]

Wait wait wait wait wait... Hold on...

I just sort of went on a rant yesterday regarding how "queer baiting" has been perversely conditioning the queer community to read every type of close emotionally (and sometimes physically and/or sexually) intimate friendships as "romance" - when you can 100% desire to have sex and experience a strong, lifelong commitment to a friend who *isn't* a romantic partner (by substituting actually freaking openly acknowledged romantic relationships by "friends that act with the intimacy of romantic partners but aren't together romantically and sexually" to "suggest romance" and keep queer audiences "hooked" on TV series).

And describing how I experience my own demisexuality in those terms:

Meanwhile, demisexual me, that can't sexually desire anyone unless I share deep bonds of trust and emotional intimacy with them (but not necessarily have any romantic desires for them), and thus has had a habit of more often seeking sexual intimacy with people I wasn't romantically attracted to (because it can sometime take a while for me to develop the kind of emotional connection I need with a romantic interest to find them sexually desirable as well)...

So... Are you telling me there's a word for that?

And that my sexual desires are often based on my ability to develop an alterous relationship with a friend?

(Note: my romantic relationships can eventually become as strong as an alterous one, it just takes a certain time to get there, and I'm not automatically sexually attracted to people I've got a primary romantic "crush" on.)

I would argue that Jaskier's relationship with Vespula isn't just sexual, though, and has alterous elements in there as well...

They seem to share a loving and committed non-exclusive form of friendship underneath all the sex, with Vespula struggling with him having the ability to experience sexual attraction towards multiple people that he's got no emotional bonds with.

The fact that he's got so much stuff at her place (I wonder if they live together... At least whenever he's in town since Jaskier hates the thought of "settling down" at court), and was confiding in her, suggests that he sees her as more than a "sex partner" that he wouldn't have any relationship with without the sex.

She's not a romantic (i.e. amorous) partner. But an alterous one? Maybe...

Then again, the initial attraction could have been sexual, and evolved into an alterous relationship over time.

That could also have been the case with Geralt (I've often thought that Jaskier might have been instantly sexually attracted to him, but that attraction fizzled when Geralt showed no sign of reciprocating).

And I find it interesting that you mention that both Jaskier's romantic and sexual attraction for Radovid stem from his intellectual connection, because I've really struggled with using the term "sapiosexual" in relation with Jaskier (despite Joey Batey's use of it in an interview).

My hesitation comes from the fact that sapiosexuals are gray-sexuals that can only become sexually attracted to someone based on their perceived intellect (in general).

i.e. They usually remain asexual until they meet someone whose intellect they are attracted to, at the very least (other forms of attraction, like aesthetic, might also come into play. But the intellectual attraction is the main component that triggers sexual attraction).

Jaskier, however, can most definitely sexually desire someone without connecting to their (I'm thinking especially emotional and relational) intellect.

So, there's a discrepancy there that bothers me, and might suggest that orientations such as "sapiosexuality", "demisexuality", etc. are "mere preferences", not valid orientations.

He very much fits the sapioromantic definition of being unable to be romantically attracted to someone without that intellectual attraction (Vespula says she's never seen him with a crush before, thus reinforcing that aspect on the show).

But sapiosexual?

Well, if we mean to say, by that, that Jaskier's sexual desires for Radovid stem from the way he's intellectually attracted to him (the romantic attraction and sexual attraction sort of blend into one), then yes, sorta...

I guess the connection itself could be read as "sapiosexual".

Like my being in a heterosexual relationship with my partner, but not being A heterosexual.

Like Jaskier himself isn't A sapiosexual.

A sapioromantic, panromantic, pansexual character, yes.

But a sapiosexual one? Not quite.

Perhaps that's what Batey meant in his interviews.

He called Jaskier's character A panromantic or pansexual (sexual identity) character.

But spoke about Jaskier and Radovid sharing a sapioromantic and sapiosexual connection (nature of that specific attraction).

Something they've chosen to address, on screen, as a sapioromantic experiencing his very first romantic "crush" on anyone.

Interesting... I hadn't considered it that way...

Something I really appreciate in s3 is how naturally the distinction between sexual, romantic, intellectual and alterous attractions was shown. Perfect exemple that you don't have to turn your characters into dictionaries to clearly convey different aspects of queerness.

Jaskier's relationship with Vespula, Radovid and Geralt are all showing different kinds of relationships and attractions. His relationships with Vespula is very much on the sexual attractions side while his relationships with Radovid is a mixed of sexual and romantic attractions which both stems from intellectual attraction. And then you've got Geralt which is a previously romantic/sexual attraction turned into an alterous one, and it's not seen as being a lesser kind of attraction, just a different one.

And all of this is not told to us but shown.

[samstree]

Light, Onward

When Jaskier is troubled with nightmares, Geralt tries to distract him. Luckily, the mountains of Kaer Morhen have a few more surprises for them.

(geraskier, 5.5k, rated teen, love confession, ice skating, mistletoe kiss, only one bed, written before s2 so no spoilers, cw: past torture)

For The Witcher Secret Santa 2021. Beta’d by @julek​​.

My giftee is @avengeful-bunny​​. Happy holidays my dear!🎄

AO3

Geralt wakes to the sound of glass shattering and Jaskier’s screams.

He’s up within a heartbeat and charging into the hallway, ready to smash into the room next to his. The soles of his bare feet tingle on the cold stone floor of Kaer Morhen, but he tunes his senses to what’s behind the heavy wooden door. There’s only one heartbeat, quick and erratic.

“Jaskier?” he calls out, only to hear another startled cry. “Jaskier, I’m coming in.”

Geralt pushes open the wooden door and a gust of freezing wind almost knocks him down. In the darkness, a witcher’s enhanced vision allows him to see the window right next to the bed—the glass broken, only a piece still hanging onto the frame. The drapes fly with abandon, only calming down when the door shuts behind Geralt with a loud bang.

A lump on the bed visibly flinches, this time not making a sound. Although the salty tang of tears in the cold air is more telling than anything else.

“Hey, Jaskier.” Geralt goes around the shards of glass on the floor and reaches the side of the bed. “It’s the storm.”

“Geralt?” Peering over the mount of blankets, Jaskier searches the darkness blindly.

“Here.”

There’s a candle on the nightstand and with a quick Igni, it sparks to life. Gently, Geralt places a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder and squeezes. The bard is shivering from both the wind and fear, but he leans into the touch instinctively.

“Oh, Geralt.” Jaskier blinks at the low light and sags, his cheeks wet and hair mussed, and there’s a tremor in the muscles. Jaskier looks over his shoulder at the window that is now only a square opening into the night sky and hides his face away, embarrassed. “Oh fuck, I thought… They came in through the window in Oxenfurt. So I thought… Fuck.”

Geralt needs no reminder of how Nilfgaard snatched Jaskier away from his bed last year, or the reason that he was alone in the middle of a war to start with. Guilt still weighs down on his stomach despite Jaskier’s best efforts. Everything inside Geralt desperately wants to gather Jaskier in his arms, but he isn’t sure it’d be welcome, so he settles on a string of soft words instead.

“It’s okay. You are safe now. It’s only the temperature dropping. Makes the glass brittle in a storm. It happens—Oh.” Geralt pulls a blanket up to Jaskier’s shoulders, only to notice light reflected from the rumpled sheets where more sharp pieces are tangled in between. Shit. “You can’t sleep here tonight. The fire’s out. It’s too dark to clean this mess, besides—” He cocks his head towards the window, and Jaskier lets out a nervous chuckle.

“All right.” Jaskier clings to Geralt’s hand, not quite letting go. “It seems, Geralt, you saved me again.”

Geralt softens at what can only be described as a timid smile on Jaskier’s face. His bard is rarely timid, only when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable and unsure, so Geralt doesn’t let go as he guides Jaskier away from the broken shards.

Neither of them is wearing shoes so Geralt places himself between the danger on the floor and Jaskier, holding the candlestick in one hand, and squeezing Jaskier’s elbow with the other. When he pushes open his own bedroom door, the warmth from the fireplace washes over the both of them. Jaskier shudders with a soft sound before turning to Geralt.

“Are you sure? I thought I’d just stay in one of the other rooms,” Jaskier rambles on, frowning, “it’s just… we haven’t slept in the same bed in ages. Not that it’s been that long. A few years apart must be nothing to a witcher, mind you, but a lot has happened and your bed isn’t that much bigger. What if I kicked you in the middle of the—”

“Jaskier,” Geralt interrupts, worried for Jaskier’s breath control. “It’s alright.”

A flush creeps up on Jaskier’s neck, though Geralt doubts it’s from the warm air.

“It is?” Jaskier still has a quiver in his voice. “You don’t mind?”

“Not in the slightest.” Geralt pays no mind to how eager that makes him sound. A few years are just as long for a witcher when he has to spend them apart from Jaskier. Those sleepless nights were made the more excruciating when he was the very reason Jaskier was not right next to him. He misses Jaskier way too much to let the chance pass. “Besides, um, it’ll be cold. In other rooms, I meant. We—we’d need to restart a fire.”

Jaskier nods, his shoulders finally slumping. The collar of his sleep shirt is wide open, revealing the expanse of his chest and thick hair that has Geralt’s ears growing warm. “Yeah, of course. Ever the practical one.”

They settle the matter and Geralt goes to stoke the fire, making sure it will last through the night. Meanwhile, Jaskier burrows under the cover and closes his eyes, although he’s way too nervous to fall asleep with how his brows knit together. Geralt follows suit, climbing into bed and bumping his shin against Jaskier’s cold feet. They end up only a hand’s breadth away, and Jaskier squirms like he can’t get comfortable no matter how thick the furs are.

“We can—” Geralt says, shuffling closer, and Jaskier slips into his arms where he belongs, just like another night under the stars. Their bodies still remember.

Jaskier’s hands are freezing, so Geralt tucks them slightly under his shirt. His fingers brush across the scars on Jaskier’s wrist, and has to hold back the urge to kiss them.

“Is it midnight yet?” Jaskier whispers into Geralt’s neck.

“I think so.”

“Do you know what day it is?”

Geralt blinks. “Solstice.”

“Hmm,” Jaskier mirrors the many hums of Geralt. After decades, he doesn’t even notice doing it. “Do you guys celebrate it? In Kaer Morhen.”

“Not usually, but,” Geralt sighs, not sure how much he wants to reveal, “we’ll decorate this year.”

“Oh? Whatever for?”

For you.

The plan is simple, straightforward. Geralt would wake up early and set out on the little trail behind the keep. He’d collect mistletoe to decorate the hall, along with those candles he bought for Jaskier at the foot of the mountain. He’d find Jaskier alone, lead him to the mistletoe after everyone has retreated from too much mulled wine. Under the mistletoe, Jaskier would know just how hopelessly in love Geralt is.

Just thinking about it makes his heart stutter, so he answers instead, “Ciri asked.”

It’s not a lie, per se. The plan wouldn’t have been here if she didn’t accidentally find out and pester him relentlessly about it. The girl has a knack for wooing for a fourteen-year-old, albeit having learned everything from romance novels. 

Plus, it was the most excited she’d been since being found. Scheming about Geralt’s love life, along with the prospect of being allowed wine for a night, lifts her spirit like nothing else.

“It’s what she deserves.” Geralt echoes the truth in his heart. It’s what Jaskier deserves too, his care and time. He’ll make this crumbling keep see its first solstice celebration in a century, for each half of his heart.

“She does. The girl has been through too much. Although you could have told me about it.” Jaskier smiles against Geralt’s skin, the puffs of breaths making him tingle with pleasure. “I could have helped.”

“You have enough worries.”

Jaskier stiffens, just a little, and Geralt curses himself silently. No coddling, Jaskier has repeatedly told him since being rescued, at one point threatening with writing another ballad about the infuriating White Wolf and his puppy-eyed concern.

“I meant,” Geralt amends, “it’s my job. To do these things for her.”

Jaskier only hums, before nuzzling his forehead against Geralt’s chin. “You know you are doing great with her, right?”

Geralt hums, sensing the bard stifling a yawn. He then rests his thumb on Jaskier’s scar, tracing it absently, hoping the slow movement will lull him to sleep. It does, after a while. The rise and fall of Jaskier’s chest even out gradually, leaving soft breaths fanning over his collarbones.

“Ever the believer,” Geralt murmurs into the night.

He wonders if he will still have the courage for his plan when the moment comes. It feels too fragile, what they have. Their friendship has shifted and evolved so much over the years, and now it feels as natural as air, filling Geralt’s lungs with every breath. He isn’t sure what a love confession will do to it, or whether he can still bear losing it.

Jaskier lets out a grumble in sleep, clinging to Geralt like a lifeline with a leg thrown over his waist. The closeness sends a wave of affection through Geralt, and he clings in return, knowing it’ll make it hard to fall asleep.

It’s going to be a long night.

~~

It turns out, the night does pass with much difficulty, but not because of the nagging doubt at the back of Geralt’s mind. It’s not even Jaskier’s body in his arms, warm and close and everything Geralt has ever hoped for him to be.

It’s the nightmares.

The snowstorm eases as time ticks by, the winds going from the wildest howls to quiet whimpers, and yet Jaskier still starts at every little sound coming from the window. The one in Geralt’s room is as old as every other one in the keep. The glass rattles and shakes at the tiniest shift of air, so every time the wind picks up, Jaskier lets out a distressed sound and snaps his eyes open in horror.

Geralt is helpless to fight against a demon he cannot see. Murmured reassurance can only do so much when Jaskier seems to be trapped in the past every time he closes his eyes.

“I’m right here. You are safe. I got you out. I have you…” Geralt repeats it once again when Jaskier screams awake for the last time. Dawn is already breaking, and the faint light allows Geralt to see the bruises under cornflower blue eyes.

“I don’t want to go back to sleep,” Jaskeir croaks.

“Let’s stay awake.”

“Don’t want that either.”

Geralt brushes the hair away from Jaskier’s eyes and notices how hollow they look. There’s sweat on his hairline, so he must have been overheating during the night with how much he’s burrowing into Geralt’s side.

“We can talk,” Geralt suggests.

“What about?”

“Anything. Your dreams?”

Jaskier has that haunted look again, the one that keeps breaking Geralt’s heart. “Not that. Can you—tell me something else. Distract me?”

Geralt looks into Jaskier’s eyes and thinks of the winter sky, a smooth canvas against the snowy top of the Blue Mountains.

So he tells Jaskier about the sky, about how he sometimes hikes to the back of the mountain and finds a frozen lake. The ice is two feet thick and there are fish underneath, and sometimes he just lies on top of it to watch the endless blue. He tells Jaskier how insignificant he feels in those moments.

“The sky here does have the prettiest shade of blue,” Jaskier muses to himself.

Not quite.

It’s never been a match to Jaskier’s eyes.

Suddenly, an idea strikes. He tunes his hearing away from their bed where limbs tangle in a cocoon of safety. Outside the keep, there’s no wind anymore. The storm is already quieting down, the world muffled by the settling snow and far, far away. Geralt feels hope rising in his chest.

“What is it?” Jaskier asks, confused.

“Do you want to see it?”

“Wait, what?” Jaskier shifts, perking up like an excited puppy despite the tiredness around his eyes. “Can I? Can we? Now?”

Geralt raises an eyebrow. “You need a distraction. Besides,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “on a frozen lake, one can do much more than just appreciate the view.”

Geralt leaves Jaskier to his bed and is almost out of the door when an exasperated yell attacks, “you can’t just—Geralt, what does that even mean—stop walking away!”

Ignoring Jaskier’s protest, Geralt quickly goes into the bard’s room and retrieves the thickest winter coat there is, along with a fur-lined doublet and the sturdiest pair of boots. Thankfully, Jaskier has finally grown some senses in purchasing his winter clothes.

Geralt returns to his room and throws them at the foot of the bed, all the while enjoying the dumbfounded expression on the bard’s face. “You are serious, aren’t you?”

Geralt lets out a chuckle. “Meet me at the gate when you are ready. It’s not a short walk. And…wear as much as you can. It’s solstice day after all.”

Jaskier calls him a brute, and Geralt gets to his preparations. It’s been exactly a year since he stored the old chest in the basement, and digging it out is such a familiar motion that Geralt barely puts any mind to it.

Opening the chest, he finds three pairs of ice skates, wrapped in layers of protective cloth. He checks the wooden base on each one of them, making sure the leather straps are in good condition. The metal blades are still shiny after a few wipe-downs, the elegant curve tilting up in front of the toes, sharp as ever.

Geralt remembers the cool autumn day when he bought them. It wasn’t often that he’d meet both of his brothers in Ard Carraigh right before the chills set in, and it wasn’t often that they lazed in the city and traversed the busy market, tasting the local food and ale. Five years ago that happened, and with the help of a pleasant buzz and a few sweet words from the shop owner, they each purchased a pair of those skates and dared the others to learn over one winter.

They set out for the lake once it froze over, Lambert with the smuggest grin on his face, and Eskel ever so nonplussed. By the next thaw, Geralt was the only one who managed to not fall over himself every other second.

Lambert cursed quite colorfully and blamed it on not having the extra mutations, and promptly never touched his skates again. And so, Geralt was the only one who still enjoyed taking a few laps around the lake whenever he can.

So many times has Geralt imagined Jaskier being there with him, free under the sky. Now he gets to have it.

After comparing the sizes of the other two pairs, Geralt rewraps his and Lambert’s skates and packs them safely in a bag, before returning to a bundled-up Jaskier. The keep still sleeps, and as usual, the bard forgets about his scarf and gloves but his face lights up with anticipation. The hat covers his ears with white fur, making him look too adorable to be scolded. Geralt sighs long-sufferingly and runs upstairs himself.

They set out in the greyish light of dawn while stars are still blinking near the horizon. The storm has retreated, leaving a blanket of pristine snow. The morning is so quiet that they could be the last people standing in the world.

Jaskier gets easily distracted by the sight before him—evergreen trees adorned with glistening white, the branches dropping with the weight. He jogs up to Geralt once in a while and eyes at the bag, never asking.

“Oh, mistletoe!” Jaskier pats Geralt on the arm, pointing at the evergreen plant lodged between tree branches that are equally covered by snow. Those tiny white berries almost turn invisible even to a witcher’s eyes. “Do you know what they mean where I come from?”

Geralt cocks his head. In Redania, mistletoe represents romance and life and love—everything Jaskier is. Where he comes from, lovers profess their undying feelings to each other under mistletoe, and seal the promise with a kiss.

“What does it mean?” Geralt asks nonchalantly, his heart skipping a beat, betraying him.

“We used to hang them on solstice day. Tradition says it’s a symbol of good luck and fertility. Adults always kissed each other under it. The children mocked them by doing the same, but then we just grew to like it…” he trails off. “We did it every year until I left for Oxenfurt.”

Jaskier lets out a long exhale, homesickness laden in the sigh.

Geralt shifts the bag onto his other shoulder, takes Jaskier’s gloved hand, and squeezes in silent support. Jaskier returns the gesture, his cheeks turning a rosy color in the cold.

They trek through the thickest part of the forest in comfortable silence, the snow squeaky under their feet. Geralt never lets go the entire way.

When the trees make way to a large clearing, the lake suddenly appears right in front of them. The sun rises over the mountain range just in time, illuminating a vast section of untouched ice with a gentle glow. Jaskier lets out a shuddering breath, awestruck.

“Are you seeing this?” he breathes carefully as if scared to break the sight.

“Mm-hmm.”

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen!”

The white-gold sunlight sparkles in blue eyes, long lashes casting shadows on pink cheeks. In the glimmering morning light, Jaskier looks out of this world.

"Sure is,” Geralt answers gently, not realizing he’s staring until Jaskier shoves him lightly on the shoulder. 

“Wake up, witcher. Time to show me your mysterious surprise.”

Geralt can only let out a huff, letting the mist form in the air. “How do you know it’s a surprise for you?”

“I don’t see Roach with us, darling, so who else do you care about here?”

That one has got Geralt, so he can only cock his head and lead Jaskier to a boulder by the lake. The sun is bright, and he sits Jaskier down against it and opens the bag in the shadows.

“Oh.” Jaskier frowns at the skates.

“You know what these are?”

“I mean…kind of.” Jaskier clears his throat. “A surprise for sure.”

Geralt kneels on the ground, mindless of the snow and the frost, and unties one of the leather straps. Jaskier stays cooperative as Geralt places one of his feet on the wooden plate and fastens the belt over his boot, testing the strength of the buckles.

“Are you gonna teach me, darling witcher?”

Geralt meets the mischief in Jaskier’s eyes and softens, still holding his calf. “If you’d like. It helps me when I want to clear my mind, takes me away from certain…thoughts. It’d be a good distraction.”

Nodding with understanding, Jaskier mirrors the soft look. His hand finds Geralt’s despite the difference in their height. “And you still pretend to be mean.”

The teasing comes out too serious, too subdued for a rebuttal, so Geralt focuses on his task at hand and finishes tying the other skate. Doing the same for himself is much simpler, and soon they are standing in unison, Jaskier wobbling ever so slightly.

“Hold on to me?” Geralt steadies him by the elbow.

“You bet, big guy.”

Jaskier walks slowly towards the lake with an arm looped in Geralt’s elbow. Despite the snow, they still find purchase on the ground beneath. Geralt sets down on the ice first, and turns towards Jaskier, catching both of his hands in a tight grip. “One step at a time. Yes, like this. I won’t let you fall.”

And Jaskier doesn’t fall when he steps onto the ice one foot after the other, tentatively, slowly, until their faces are mere inches apart. Mist forms between them, and Geralt clears his throat before sliding backward, pulling Jaskier with him.

“It’s…smooth.” Jaskier’s feet remain parallel, letting Geralt guide him forward.

“It’s ice, Jask.”

The bard lets out a snort. “And you’re going backward.”

“So I am.”

“Aren’t you too old to be smug—shit!” Jaskier lets out a curse when his right blade catches on something, and Geralt wraps an arm around his waist instantly, catching his momentum. Jaskier struggles to stay on his feet, flustered and stammering.

“See? I told you,” Geralt says. “Won’t let you fall.”

The blush deepens. It’s a shame that Jaskier’s ears and neck are hidden from view, or Geralt will be able to see how much the beet color is spreading.

“One should never trust too easily. You taught me that,” Jaskier says, still trying to salvage his dignity.

The nervousness is still there judging by how strong Jaskier’s grip is on Geralt all the while they skate to the center of the lake. The little bumps of the ice even out at the center, only leaving the occasional thin cracks. Jaskier pushes each foot back with small strokes, following Geralt wherever he guides them.

“You’re doing great. Put more force into it—Yes, be brave, Jaskier.”

And Jaskier is brave, because his steps get lighter and surer until he matches Geralt’s full speed. They turn around with a rounded curve, the clinking of blades in harmonic unison. There’s wind by Geralt’s ears, muffling the string of giggles escaping Jaskier’s lips.

He’s missed how carefree Jaskier’s laughter is.

“Am I the best student or what?” Jaskier asks cheekily between one breath and the next, and lets out a small cry when Geralt takes a sharp turn.

“Hmm. Better than Lambert.”

“Really?” Jaskier lets go of one of Geralt’s hands and stretches out the arm for balance. “You’d think witchers would be nimbler than a bard whose only use is to sing.”

“It’s not about witcher reflexes. It takes patience. A different kind of skill than the training we had.” Geralt frowns at the passing remark. “And you have a few more uses than your music, Jask.”

“My thanks. Should have known you do harbor some appreciation for me. I might start to expect it, my dear.” Jaskier giggles again, looking away to the peak of the mountain range where the snow never melts, Geralt’s heart sinks a little.

“Perhaps you should.” He aims for nonchalance, but it lands too close to home. Jaskier snaps his head back to him, his expression open with just a hint of fragile, so any idea of making it into a joke vanishes. Geralt adds, more quietly this time, letting the wind carry his words, “because I do. Appreciate you.”

They hold each other’s gaze for a moment before breaking eye contact. Jaskier shifts his attention to the ice and the blades under him. With their increasing speed, Geralt can no longer go backward anymore. He turns so they are skating side by side.

Geralt is hyper-aware of Jaskier’s hand in his, squeezing tightly once in a while when he checks his balance. Through the thick leather of both their gloves there’s no heat to be shared, no press of skin, no way to sense the way Jaskier sometimes runs a thumb at the back of his hand. A small mercy.

With the confidence Jaskier has gained, there’s no need to still hold on anymore, so Geralt tries to loosen his grip by releasing one finger at a time.

“Wait!” Jaskier captures his hand again, almost stumbling. “Just—Just in case. I could fall.”

Well, Geralt made a promise.

They reach the center of the lake and find a patch of ice that is so clear that it’s like they are standing on nothing but air. The flora under the water stills as if in a frame of oil painting.

Jaskier tugs at Geralt, and they stop. Breathing heavily from the exertion, the bard observes the world under their feet. A breeze ruffles the curls peeking out of Jaskier’s hat and makes his eyes water a little.

It’s a shame that Geralt isn’t the poet between them. He’d like to keep this moment forever with a few rhyming words. If a moment of having Jaskier here with him at the end of the world isn’t worth preserving, he doesn’t know what is.

“Wait,” Jaskier says, alarmed. “Do you hear that?”

Geralt frowns for a second before it becomes all too clear. A murmuring sound reaches them from below, like a thunderclap burrowed miles beneath the earth. Jaskier gasps and quickly hides behind Geralt’s shoulder, but there’s nowhere to go. They are surrounded by ice.

“Geralt, are there ice monsters in this lake? Are we going to die? Why didn’t you bring your sword? Sweet Melite—why did we think it was a good idea to come out to the middle of nowhere without telling anyone?”

“Okay, you need to relax,” Geralt hides his amusement. He’d mock Jaskier if he wasn't blanching already. “There are no monsters here. Just take a breath.”

The jarring noise continues, growing more muffled by the second.

Jaskier lets go tentatively, and bends down, probing at a crack on the surface. “What is it?”

Geralt smiles. “The lake sings.”

“It what?”

Lowering onto the ice himself, Geralt guides Jaskier to lie beside him. They end up on their sides, face to face, the coldness insulated by layers of fur-lined clothes. “It’s in the cracks. When the temperature changes, the ice expands and contracts with it, and we hear the sound.”

“Wow,” Jaskier listens for a moment, entranced, and shifts onto his back, letting cold air and the sun wash over him. The tip of his nose is still red, and sunlight still catches on his lashes. He closes his eyes under the wild blue yonder. “I’m not so sure about ‘sing’ though.”

“Oh?”

“It expands and contracts, following the rhythm of the air, the earth. This lake is…breathing.”

Geralt feels his heart swell. For a second, the space between them and the sky seems to narrow down to a single point that is Jaskier, the soft thrumming of his heartbeat, the white mist of his breaths, the faint smile by his lips.

“Damn,” Geralt says fondly, “should leave the poetry to you.”

“Attempting to take my place?”

“Well...”

Jaskier lets out a high-pitched noise.

“Really? You, writing poetry?” He keeps his eyes closed, but a huge grin makes the laugh lines around them bloom. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you big softie. I should hope to hear it one day, when I’m particularly lucky.”

No poetry could compare to what Geralt feels for Jaskier right this moment. No words can describe how much he’s bursting at the seams to proclaim his love.

“Sure,” Geralt muses, “amongst other things.”

“Such as?”

“Later, at least,” he breathes. “Not now.”

Jaskier is uncharacteristically silent for a moment before he speaks again. “Perhaps, I already know.”

Geralt’s heartbeat flutters, the languid rhythm picking up.

“What do you know?”

“What you cannot say.” Jaskier places a hand over his chest, right above his heart. “For now.”

The mountains are quiet, the winds kind, and Jaskier hears him.

They lay there for a while, Geralt watching Jaskier intently until the sweat on their foreheads dries. Jaskier’s breathing is slowing down to a drawn-out rhythm, and it’s almost like he’s asleep. He must be exhausted after a long night of nightmares and trekking through the woods in the morning.

“Come on.” Geralt breaks the peaceful bubble, just so he doesn’t drown in love. “We should get some food in you.”

Taking a deep breath, Jaskier pulls himself up with a groan and begins skating towards the shore, his footing steady and nimble. He even does a little skip to play with the curved bit on the blades. Jaskier’s skills are suddenly sharp as a razor. It’s almost like—

It’s almost like he’s been doing it for years.

Geralt blinks, stunned, before even remembering to speak. “Jaskier?” he warns, equally exasperated and amazed. “Did you know how to skate this whole time?”

The only confirmation he needs is Jaskier turning around to make a silly face with his tongue sticking out, and Geralt feels his blood boil and sing at the same time.

“You never asked!” Jaskier stretches his arms out, all innocent and harmless. “Oh my dear, you’ve seen Oxenfurt in winter so many times! Didn’t you notice the frozen river and that massive winter fair on it? I told you I got you those hairbands on the Pontar! Did you think I fished them out of the water? It is not my fault that you’re oblivi—Oh!”

Jaskier’s gloating is soon cut off when Geralt charges towards him at full speed and nearly topples both of them over. They stumble onto shore and a snowball fight is quickly descended upon the bard who is too much of a bastard for his own good. By the end of it, Jaskier is reduced to a giggling, begging mess, and Geralt is all but proud.

“Incorrigible.” Geralt finally relents while Jaskier desperately tries to readjust his clothes and hat and tousled hair.

Still grinning, Jaskier kicks off his skates and packs away their equipment. They leave the lake behind, crystalline clear under the golden sun. This place is theirs now.

Jaskier takes one last look at the vast sky, and sighs, all the playfulness gone from his face, only leaving quiet happiness.

“Thank you, Geralt,” he says, “for bringing me here. First your home, and now this. I love it.”

“Hmm. Now you feel better.” Geralt lets Jaskier lead him back into the woods they came from. “I’m glad you are. That we are better, together.”

Jaskier’s eyes gleam with such softness, like he’s melting. “Me too. The sky, the snow, the lake that breathes, I get to see all of this because of you. Also, did I mention that I love it?” He chews on his lips, hesitant. “I love it, because…it’s kind to you.”

“Kind?” Geralt breathes.

“Mm-hmm. It’s kind. This place makes you lighter. All your edges…somehow smoothed over here, with—” Jaskier catches himself, but Geralt finishes the sentence.

“With you.”

Their hands find each other, fingers trying to link together but the leather gloves make it awkward. Carefully, Jaskier removes one of his and then, one of Geralt’s. He takes Geralt’s hand in his, cool fingers brushing across scarred knuckles, and tugs Geralt aside until they are standing next to a tree. Geralt follows him—of course, Geralt follows him.

“Today’s solstice day. The longest night has passed, and there’s only light onward. Today…I’ll be kind too,” Jaskier says, guiding Geralt’s gaze upward. Lodged in the bare branches, half-hidden by snow, are a few clusters of mistletoe.

Jaskier has made them stand right beneath mistletoe.

“Jask…” Everything catches in Geralt’s throat when he realizes that Jaskier is pressing a tiny kiss on the back of his hand, right next to the scars.

“I asked you about the traditions regarding these plants.” Nervousness seeps into the slight tremor of Jaskier’s voice, and his eyes dart all over the place. He smiles, timidly. “If you cannot voice it yet, I’m certainly not brave enough, but I only hope to try. For you.”

Geralt watches, dumbfounded, as his Jaskier—beautiful, wonderful Jaskier, so incredibly strong—works up the courage for him. The bard once again looks up to the symbol of his golden childhood and must draw strength.

“Geralt, I—” Jaskier swallows, his chin wobbling, but the joy on his face is unmistakable. “I lo—”

Tears choke back the next two words, and Jaskier sniffles, frustrated. A poet’s heart, unfortunately, is too big to remain unaffected by an important moment like this. It holds too much love to keep him steady.

So Geralt takes over, not being able to bear the sight of Jaskier distressed.

“Perhaps,” Geralt echoes, “I already know.”

Because he should have known for a long time. It’s in the way Jaskier sneaks an arm around his hips in bed to ward off the nightmares, trusting to be protected at his most vulnerable. It’s in the way Jaskier follows him to an old keep that holds nothing but centuries of heartbreak and death, simply because Geralt wants him there. It’s in the way Jaskier forgives him, over and over again, still believing him to do better, be better.

Geralt hopes to try too, for Jaskier.

“You do?” The bard steps into Geralt’s space, eyes wide and expectant, glistening like stars in the morning sky.

“I do.”

Underneath the mistletoe, Geralt kisses Jaskier with all the softness in his very being. It’s the same softness Jaskier brings out and nurtures, until Geralt can’t remember ever being without it. It’s only apt that he’s giving it back.

They kiss until Jaskier’s chest heaves and his lips turn swollen. Somewhere in the process, his hat falls to one side, the fur no longer covering one of his ears. Geralt rights it for him.

The walk back is a quiet bliss, with Jaskier hanging onto Geralt’s arm, stealing kisses from time to time and compensating with sweet words. It feels too much like a dream that Geralt does the same, just to check.

It is not a dream, Geralt thinks as Jaskier presses his cold nose to his neck.

The longest night has passed, after all.

~~

Geralt must show Jaskeir some love in my fics in light of the new season. Hope i delivered ;)

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