#demidorks flirting

[sodamnbored]

Jason, excitedly showing him around: I’ll show you the barracks next, and then the armoury, and the -

Reyna, casually in passing: Oh, hey Jason. Didn’t realise you were back in town.

Leo, sweeping past Jason: And who is this? I always assumed I was your sexiest Latin friend.

[sodamnbored]

Jason: So can I take you out tonight?

Leo: Can’t. I’m studying tonight.

Jason, sliding closer: I could help you.

Leo, amused: Do you know anything about thermodynamics or computational fluid dynamics?

Jason: *blinking slowly*

Jason, conceding: Or you could help me.

[sodamnbored]

Annabeth, bringing Percy aboard: Come meet the rest of the crew.

Jason: Hi. I’m Jason, and I’m -

Percy, under his breath: Getting fucked tonight.

[sodamnbored]

Leo: There are two things in this life that I am utterly committed to.

Jason: Oh yeah? What are they?

Leo, smoothly: Well the first is obviously you, handsome.

Jason, flustered and pleased: And the second?

Leo, solemnly: The bit.

[rayssion]

Percy: the only bueno I know is the chocolate, and until two seconds ago I thought it was only the name of the chocolate.

Leo: I’ll be creating a diversion up here with the ship’s canons. And you and Jason will sneak in and plant my little gizmo. Then it’s all bueno baby.

Percy: And do you think that’ll do it?

Jason: Percy, didn’t you hear him? He said it’s all bueno.

Percy: Listen babe. I’m bi a lot of things, but lingual isn’t one of them.

[sodamnbored]

Percy: So listen. I think we should just go on a date alresdy, and figure out this whole Kermit-Miss Piggy Will They, Won’t They thing we’ve got going on.

Annabeth, prepared to be offended: I’m sorry, am I Kermit in this situation, or -

Percy, excitedly: Yeah! Because you’re smart and have skinny legs. And I’m Miss Piggy because I’m a star.

[sodamnbored]

When The Argo II is under attack:

Everyone: *panicking*

Percy, calmly: Alright now, everybody but Jason keep your pants on. I got this.

[sodamnbored]

Annabeth: You lost my pencil?? That pencil was a gift from my dad!

Percy: Wow, your dad gives really lame gifts.

Percy: Although, on the other hand, the only thing my dad ever gave me was abandonment issues, so -

Percy, shrugging: Potato, tomato.

[sodamnbored]

Percy: Happy birthday!

Annabeth, pensively: Well, technically I wasn’t birthed in the traditional sense. I was expelled from my mother’s mind.

Percy, hesitantly: Like a tumour?

Annabeth: Well…yes I suppose so.

Percy, brightly: Then Happy Expulsion From The Mind Day, tumour baby!

[sodamnbored]

Jason: Nice to meet you.

Percy: Likewise. Huh. You’re much taller than I imagined.

Jason: Am I?

Percy: Yeah. Because I always imagined you sitting down

[sodamnbored]

Percy, flirting: I like your glasses.

Jason, smiling: Thank you, but I’m afraid they’re not for sale.

Percy, laughing: You’re funny.

Jason, politely: You can laugh all you want, they’re still not for sale.

[sodamnbored]

Percy: High school was never my favourite place. I always felt ostrich sized.

Jason: I beg your pardon?

Percy: Ostrich sized. You know like - like a freaky outsider. The way an ostrich feels around regular birds.

Jason: …At least you’re pretty.

[sodamnbored]

Percy, seeing Jason for the first time: Oh no. He’s so handsome.

Percy, solemnly: I fear I may have to let him see me nude.

[sodamnbored]

At Percy’s House:

Percy: So, you wanna go to my room?

Jason: Sure.

Percy, smirking: You got protection?

Jason, slowly drawing his gladius: Why? What’s in there?

[sodamnbored]

Percy: What are you wearing??

Jason: What’s wrong with it? It’s just a shirt?

Percy: It’s the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen!

Jason: Well, it’s not like I designed it. What do you want me to do about it?

Percy, smirking: Take it off.

[sodamnbored]

Percy, with a sly grin: I bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed.

Jason, flatly: Percy, no matter how many times you compliment me, I’m not making your bed for you.