#incorrect valgrace quotes

[sodamnbored]

Leo: *frantically rubbing himself down with balloons*

Nico: What on earth are you doing?

Leo: I’m about to try asking Jason out.

Nico, sarcastically: Sure, that explains everything.

Leo, impatiently: I need it to go well. Look at that face. He must have people hitting on him all the time, so I need a way to stand out.

Leo, grinning: So I’m going to use static electricity to create an electric shock when I casually touch him, so sparks will literally fly when I ask him out.

Nico, amused: Okay, well have fun tricking Jason into falling in love with you.

[pjotwitter]

[demigod-shenanigans]

A random demigod who needs something from Leo: Valdez?

Jason, who is utterly sleep deprived: *lifts head*

Leo: Dude, when the hell did we get married and why wasn’t I invited?

[iheartgirlzn]

WHERE? trend with chb

“she uses you as bait in capture the flag!” percy: WHERE?!

“he’s emo!” will: WHERE?!

“they’re mean to you!” / “they have light hair!” leo: WHERE?!

“she—” piper: WHERE?!

“he went insane in the labyrinth!” / “she betrayed camp!” clarisse: WHERE?!

[curiouslymyown]

Leo: my boyfriend broke up with me

Piper: what?!

Jason: please stop telling people that

Jason: I proposed

Leo: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE😭

Piper: are you sure you want to marry him?

Jason: unfortunately

[chbchaoticdemigods]

Nico: How the hell did you crash the car?!

Leo: So I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight.

Leo: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident.

Nico: …

Jason, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

[grandpakronos]

piper: i heard a rumor!

leo, on top of jason: what, that we're gay for each other?

leo: see, i'm straight, but if there was a man i'd marry, it's be jason.

piper: and how do you feel about that, jason?

jason: like it's not helping with the rumors.

piper: i think the kiss you shared on my birthday isnt helping the rumors.

[caleohateclub]

*leo glaring at percy*

Percy *sighs*: Look, Leo, I'm sorry but I had no choice, I had to leave Calypso. I feel bad about it everyday.

Leo *jealous after seeing Jason call Percy his best bro*: ...Calypso? Oh! uh yeah. fuck you, man.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Leo: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room. Jason: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

[weiyjling]

Jason: So let me get this straight.

Percy: More like let me run this bi you.

Leo: Let’s see how this pans out.

Reyna: Stop. We should ace-ess the situation.

Piper: Lesbian actual team of functioning people, okay?

Nico: I’m gay…

[saah4r]

jason: i’m about to do something stupid.

leo: do me, i’m stupid.

[sodamnbored]

Nico: No.

Jason, insistently: Come on. I made a double bet with Leo. You can’t make me look uncool in front of Leo.

Nico: Leo’s not cool!

Jason, to himself dramatically: He is to me.

[pjotwitter]

[coquettemouse]

Leo, wearing a black suit with an orange tie with a yellow boutonnière: How I'm looking guys?

Percy: Handsome bro if I wasn't completely in love with Annabeth I would make out with u rn

Frank: you good, Valdez

Jason: you are looking lovely

Leo:

Piper: lovely???

Percy: that's straight up gay ass hell what the fuck man

Piper: Oh gods Leo is getting flustered for real

[ace-writer-lani]

Leo: You know, I've always thought that ADHD is like a-dammit, what's the phrase? A double weapon? Arma de doble filo

Jason: A double-edged sword?

Leo: Aren't all swords double-edged? Wait, no they're not...huh...anyways, ADHD is like a double-edged sword

Leo: One moment you're super productive and end up making all sorts of things from an almost-nuclear-but-totally-safe bomb to a plate of enchiladas

Jason: A what?

Leo: A plate of enchiladas. They were really good

Leo: Then the next moment you're like, paralyzed on the floor because you have too much stuff to do and you have no idea where to even start

Jason:

Jason: Are you okay?

Leo: Oh, I'm fine mi amor. I just accidentally glued myself to the floor-completely by accident by the way-and now I've been trapped here for like tres horas, y ha sido terrible because I've been so bored-

[astraeajackson]

leo, over the phone: hey, jason, can i borrow like five thousand dollars?

jason: yeah sure, but what for?

leo: *sweats nervously* umm... an-an escape room

jason: w-what kind of escape room costs five thousand dollars???

leo: oh, well, you know...

jason: *raises eyebrow*

leo: *sighs* ...jail