#delicious Sam episode

[squashberri-art]

Wasn’t planning to come back with a doodle but…he looks so good in this scene 👹👹👹

[daddario]

"You can't assume family means the same thing to him as it does to us."

Dean, family doesn't mean the same thing to ANYONE that it means to you and Sam.

[spnregular]

11.16, 11.17, 11.19

Fun collection of moments where Dean is fucked up or not sleeping because he feels like he needs to rescue Cas v. Sam being like dang, it ain't that deep! Let's hunt!

Bonus, 11.18 Dean crying out for Cas when Amara is taking away Lucifer:

[shallowseeker]

It's so interesting too, that in sundering themselves from their humble backgrounds, Crowley and Rowena mirror that which was inflicted on them, trying to become their oppressors (a Godstiel theme, if you care):

In Hell, Crowley is a king who commands no respect and begets no real loyalty. He's become a classist bastard. Dark ages-mentality.

Along with Rowena, Crowley inflicts pain on the ones "beneath" him, trampling the rebellious demons, especially the ones that stand up for "equal pay for equal work."

///

And it's not exactly as Crowley tells Sam at the end of s10—a long con to "change" Hell for the better.

That's a half-truth Crowley is using to make himself feel better.

A LOT of Crowley's behavior has been shown to be flagrant, for his own amusement to satisfy his own pain and loneliness. We got to see that all season long. Even before Rowena showed!

This line is intended to appeal to Sam and soothe Crowley's deeply wounded humanity. It's another version of "for the greater good."

Sam also uses things like this to pad his own wounded humanity.

///

In Girls, Girls, Girls, Crowley insists that "human trafficking is tacky," which is another form of padding to protect his pride. This helps Crowley look away from reality. He did the same, trafficking Dean to Cain, as Randy trafficked Claire to Randy in order to get a stronghold against his enemies/debt.

Most importantly, Crowley is looking away from the fact that his clients are all selling their souls, that his Hell-workers have already sold theirs.

But most importantly, he's looking away from the fact that he trafficked himself. That's how he got here. Crowley, like Rowena, was dealt a horrible hand.

It's as in 10x21:

STYNES: There's always profit to be made from desperation.

///

And it's no accident that s10 dead-ends in themes of Frankenstein.

Crowley wanted to rule over Hell, but in Demon Dean, he wanted to patchwork someone together who could "see what he sees, feel what he feels."

Dean becomes Crowley's very own Nick the SIren, an immature combination of all things familiar, someone "just like me!"

And when Dean fled to Anne-Marie, to his "humanity," Crowley was gob-smacked. "That's someone the old you would fall for," he says. Spoiler alert: Dean was falling for her. Anne-Marie is, in essence, a stand-in for Dean's humanity.

Dean and Anne-Marie linger in the spectre of Daniel and Adina, Adina resembling Anne-Marie AND Dean, wanting to go "somewhere else," and Daniel like Cain in: "just wanting to be left alone." (It's no wonder, then, that it is Crowley who kills Adina.)

Dean was supposed to be Crowley's perfect Hell-"Queen," someone just like him. But Dean wasn't a queen. He wasn't a lot of things people wanted him to be.

Not what John wanted, not what God wanted.

Dean wasn't even a proper knight. As much as Cain pegged him for a mirror, as being "just like Cain himself," Dean didn't do ANYTHING Cain predicted because Cain, like Chuck, like the audience, has got Dean dead wrong.

Dean is Dean.

He's not John. He's not Crowley, and he sure as Hell isn't Cain.

///

Next,

Let's note that in 10x21, a girl was killed and her EYES were taken. This is emphasized for many reasons.

But in a big way, this blindness mirrors Demon Dean himself. His "pretty black peepers." Crowley said to him, "See what I see, feel what I feel."

These themes swirl around the whole season because as Dean is reckoning with what Crowley did to him, Crowley is reckoning with his own life.

What Rowena did to him. With his original, terrible, abusive human life. With his own demon deal.

To Crowley, it seemed like Dean could be the answer, the balm to his boredom, to his lack of purpose and, like with Amara being wounded by Chuck, a Holy tourniquet to that core wound left in Crowley by Rowena.

///

Aside/// Dean is more successful than Crowley:

Crowley gets much of his kingdom through MOC!Dean's battle prowess/defeat of Abbadon. Dean's sacrifices are the foundation of Crowley's current kingdom and ability to succeed.

There's an off-key parallel with Sam here. Dean's sacrifices in many ways enabled Sam to go to college and have a chance to succeed.

Even now, Sam gets a lot of friendship and love by proxy through Dean's preexisting, strongly forged connections. In season 10, we see Sam at his worst: Sam manipulates others via the loyalty Dean has earned.

Sam's (and Rowena's and Crowley's) lack of social grace and inability to make friends stand in stark contrast to characters like Dean. Sam, Rowena, and Crowley feel like outsiders, and they can't reckon with why. Even getting power and status doesn't seem to help them, and that frustrates them all!

SPN has plenty of other outsiders, sure. But I get the sense that Sam, Crowley, and Rowena struggle more than others do.

Even with awkward characters like Cas, people seem to follow him even when he doesn't want them to. People don't naturally follow Sam, (and actually, it's even more complicated than that—he's afraid of leading). Sam really has to work on it with the AU hunters.

By comparision, Dean, Mary, Cas, and Jack, all characters with big hearts, seem effortlessly able to form these deep connections. They don't seem to need recipes or a rulebook for "How to Win Friends and Influence."

(Aside/// It doesn't save big-hearted characters from getting duped, of course, and respectively, Cas and Dean are fresh off being manipulated by Metatron and Crowley!)

///

But anyway, Crowley wants to be top dog, and it's a losing battle.

Crowley denigrates those who remain loyal to him, calling them stupid and useless, and one wonders if this is what Crowley heard daily after his mother left and he went into the workhouse?

As a leader, it's not a good look for Crowley, and it's shown that his behavior actually makes him a weaker king, not a stronger one. He becomes paranoid that their loyalty is cheap and that they'd betray him the first chance they get.

And well. He's right.

Interestingly, it's this that Sam senses in him—this that Sam hates. It's a self-hatred, too. It's about the rigged game, maestro!

///

Rowena hates what Sam represents; Sam hates what Crowley represents

Rowena hates The Men of Letters. At first, spitting on Sam and Dean is a big "fuck you" to the upper class.

So, too, does Sam spit on Crowley as emblematic of Hell, as emblematic of the thing that had tried to lure Sam in as a "boy-king," a promise of power but with the harsh reality of only being needed ONLY for his parts (meat suit).

Sam beats on Crowley because he can't beat on Ruby, or on Lucifer, or on John. Because (and Sam's not exactly wrong!), "because Crowley has it coming."

Crowley killed their loved ones (Sarah, etc). Then he duped Dean and dangled him in front of Cain as cannon fodder for his war.

(But it isn't all Crowley's fault! It's the system of Hell at fault.)

///

And the Crowley-Metatron parallels are delicious, too...

VS

Metaron duped Cas and used him as cannon fodder for his war. Then Metatron ordered their loves ones (Kevin) to be killed.

(But it isn't all Metatron's fault. It's the system of Heaven.)

///

They're ALL in Hell, in one way or another. In a sense, they're climbing down off the rack to stick it to perfect scapegoats (monsters, demons, whatever) who "have it coming."

Metatron and Crowley are also intrinsically linked. They both have extremely UGLY family wounds, and they're slowly falling towards their own humanity.

///

Preying on desperation isn't just a demon thing:

You know the ruse: finding vulnerable people and preying on them by promising them either protection or something to protect their families.

Like Cas preyed on Jimmy, like Dean manipulated Kevin emotionally, like Metatron preyed on Cas, like Crowley dangled Dean in front of Cain then used him as a Hell-worker, like Randy swooped in on Claire, like Rowena is trying to prey on Crowley.

YET. Sam doesn't want to admit that he's done the same! He swooped in on Lester when he was at his lowest in order to manipulate him, like Sam's using Charlie's love for Dean to get her to go whole-hog into a dangerous mission.)

///

The backdrop of forgiveness:

Interesting then, that you have this whole backdrop of forgiveness: Claire forgiving Randy, Dean forgiving Crowley, Claire forgiving her mom, Cole forgiving Dean, Claire forgiving Cas.

Crowley laments that Rowena is a liar, and Dean frankly calls him out about lying to him and setting him up to be the fall-boy with the Mark, "guess it runs in the family."

Cas laments that he can't put Claire in danger, and she calls him out too, "Anything else, you mean."

But it's not THAT simple either! Even "virtuous, forgiving" characters like Dean and Claire are still spiraling down into hunting, and Cas is still eagerly sticking his knife into low-level demon-soldiers.

No one's hands are clean, not even those who symbolize forgiveness and change. It's so messy!

///

It's so interesting, then. How Sam and Rowena mirror each other more directly.

They can't seem to forgive anything. Because they can't bear, in all of their stalwart perfectionism, to really look at themselves.

Sam can't forgive Crowley. He can't forgive himself.

Sam goes through the motions of "a team effort" with Charlie and Cas, but like Rowena, he trades more easily in the business of selective truths and manipulation.

And that's a big thing, isn't it? Sam, Rowena, and Crowley are alike in this manner.

They want people beside them to assuage their own wounds.

They tend to rule in fits of misguided ruthlessness and subterfuge to get people into positions where they can use them, as they themselves have been used. They struggle out from under the boot...

Rowena can't forgive the entire world for being rigged.

Neither can Sam.

He couldn't be further than Claire Novak this season. But can we blame Sam? Let's step back for a sec and cut him some slack:

Sarah Blake in season 8. That was like two seconds ago for Sam. She was killed right in front of Sam BY Crowley. To think this is ONLY about Dean runs the risk of oversimplifying Sam. (And yeah, Sam could've tried harder to save the Trans fam, but let's not forget that Crowley was who he had to save them from.)

His need for vengeance shouldn't come as a surprise, and I don't think it should be simplified to "homophobia" either, like I sometimes see.

CROWLEY: Well, I think the people you save, they're how you justify your pathetic little lives. The alcoholism, the collateral damage, the pain you've caused – the one thing that allows you to sleep at night, the one thing is knowing that these folks are out there, still out there happy and healthy because of you, you great, big, bloody heroes! They're your life's work, and I'm going to rip it apart piece by piece because I can, because you can't stop me, and because when they're all gone, what will you have left?

This is a very Luciferian comment by Crowley, and it's interesting to how very like Lucifer some of his actions can be. Lucifer says very similar dialogue to the above when he's posssessing Vince Vincente/rockstar.

///

It's another way that Rowena and Sam's plots are hopelessly intertwined.

Sam's hangups are about being squashed beneath the boot, but instead of finding another shoe, he's so afraid and so paranoid that he becomes the boot.

Dean and Cas are not immune to this. (Ahem, see Godstiel.) And perhasp Kevin Tran is to Dean as Charlie is to Sam. Miracle cure-Gadreel is a little bit like miracle-cure Book of the Damned, if you think about it... just on a smaller scale.

Sam tries to save his family not dissimilar to how his family saved him, by locking Deab up for detox, for doing "whatever it takes to save him."

But he's Sam, so it comes out... very Sam-like. On a big, destructive, and very CUNNING, pragmatic, and manipulative way. As we see in the early seasons, Sam is willing to go further. Into forbidden knowledge and outright human sacrifice.

///

Like Rowena, Sam WILL tend to save his own skin this season, and with them both, there are "substitute sacrifices" involved.

Symbolically, Oskar is a substitute sacrifice for them both. (And before you get too into the idea of Dean being "immune," it's the way Jack will later, unfortunately, be allowed to be a "substitute sacrifice/bomb" - re Dean's: "Thank you, Jack. " Dean also expresses relief that for once he and Sam won't be the ones sacrificing etc etc' ; war son stuff etc etc)

ANYWAY.

Other characters' struggle with this theme of class doesn't seem as prolonged and ever-present as what we see in Sam, Rowena, and Crowley.

Cas and Dean are, on the whole, more likely to be upset with systems and forgive the individuals caught up in it. (SEE: Dean forgives Crowley for selling him out, Claire forgives Randy for betraying her, and Cas has mercy on Metatron in s12).

That was a lot of words to say that Sam, Rowena, and Crowley are fundamentally linked and it's so tasty to me.

[ivywalkers]

God I just can’t get over how fucking good this chapter of Candela is. The storytelling is top notch and the entire cast has completely blown me away and it’s only the first episode. I thought I fell hard for last chapters characters. Little did I know what I was in for

[persimminwrites]

the look of Pure Panic on joel's face when that one infected slipped into the back of the car ellie was in and you SEE on his face that he knew he couldn't do anything to help her he just has to sit and watch in that moment and he was powerless to protect her That THAT is what the fuck craig mazin is talking about when he says these two are meant to be together but LOOK OUT LIKE

[winchesterlesbian]

Trying to turn Red Meat into a d*stiel episode really just proves to me that a lot of these people want to ship Wincest so bad. This episode is so impactful and Dean's pain and dependency on Sam are so delicious, the ending bit about "losing the man I love" with Dean looking haunted is so clearly Dean coming to terms with almost losing Sam, and not only that but realizing that any death Sam experiences from here on will be permanent. Dean has lost control. And if there's anything Dean hates, it's losing control, especially when his baby brother is involved. Dean is teetering on the edge this entire episode and it's incredible to watch. And it's because of Sam. Like it always is.

[seluneclerics]

Spoilers for Netflix’s Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft

so how are we feeling about ss endurance chat?

how much doomed yuri do you think i can handle before i tap out?

the way in one of the eps lara freaks out and just caves, deciding to call sam even though she’s been avoiding her after yamati situation… they need to reconcile with each other so bad it hurts, i’ll forever hate square for writing out their kiss and retconning their relationship because of dudebro homophobia. after watching all 8 eps, i’d say the series is def a 8.5/10 for me personally!! i love how much they’re leaning into this side of lara, and how much the other characters are willing to call her out lol

i know due to some of the themes it’s definitely gonna get shit on by dudebros and journalists alike, which makes enjoying it so much sweeter. there’s so much queer subtext with lara’s character here (and her relationship with sam) that it’s almost asinine to deny it. since they’re obviously setting up something with sam given the end of episode 8, i’m excited to see what direction season 2 goes, and what the reaction to that will be.

as for the plot, i think the villain of the season was okay, it’s definitely nice that they mirrored his trauma with that of lara’s own, though i think more could have been done with the whole “light organization” plot line. it felt like they were supposed to be trinity levels of bad, but we’re only really told about the bad things they’ve done, rather than shown it. there’s def room for improvement writing wise but all in all it was a good watch, would recommend if you’re a fan of the trilogy

the ss endurance subtext is so delicious. give me 15 of ‘em

[souporsaladnatural]

I've seen alot of people talk about how dean wouldn't let cas heal him after he beat the shit out of him while under rowenas attack dog spell, which yes yes delicious angst i get it

HOWEVER I haven't seen anybody bring up how the next episode "Baby" pretty much starts with sam mentioning to dean that cas was bitching about it to him which is just SO fucking funny to me

[penguwastaken]

Shocker, I did even MORE Ace Attorney-ified Danganronpa characters after yesterday's post success. As you could probably guess, this time I did the characters from Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls.

Jane Sprout

Jane as in “Jane Doe” or “Plain Jane,” a boring girl name

Shares a last name with her brother, Atlas Sprout

Brooke Quill

Ace Bookworm

A play on "book and quill"

Geno the Stabber

Ace Killer

Geno comes frome Genocide

Similar to names like Jack the Ripper

Helping Hand

A reference to his missing hand

Jim Dumball

Li'l Ace P.E.

Jim sounds like "gym"

Dumball is a play on "dumbbell"

Doug Lee

Li'l Ace Art

A play on "ugly"

Starla Othello

Li'l Ace Drama

A play on "star of the show"

Othello is a reference to Shakespeare

Moon Crescendo

Li'l Ace Social Studies

A play on "crescent moon"

A reference to his original name meaning crescent moon, which itself is referencing his hair

Della

Li'l Ace Homeroom

When combined with her last name, Ulysses, her name becomes a play on "delicious"

Her name is a reference to her original name being a reference to a sweet

Clara Omen

Clara comes from "clairvoyant"

She shares a last name with her son, Chance Omen

Speyer Script

A play on "superscript"

Shares a last name with his child, Sam Script

Snowbeary

A play on "snowberry"

Blackbeary

A play on "blackberry"

Mal Ulysses

A play on "malicious"

His father's name is Metic Ulysses, a play on "meticulous"

Ash Lete

A play on "athlete"

Shares a last name with his sister, Athy Lete

Alfred Butlier

Alfred is the name of Batman's butler

Butlier is a play on "butler"

Hotta Tune

A play on "out of tune"

Her name has "hot" in it, which is ironic

Tec Clue

Tec is an old fashioned slang word for “detective”

Shares a last name with his granddaughter, Misty Clue

Eloell Kewl

Eloell sounds like “LOL”

Shares a last name with her brother, Otto Kewl

Lancashire Gantbit

Lancashire a reference to an English tea brand, referencing the original name

Lancashire also sounds like "Cheshire"

Shares a last name with his owner, Ella Gantbit

Grenade

Continuing Ace Attorney’s trend of naming pets after military weapons

Rae Deamfyre

A play on “ready, aim, fire”

Bruce

A reference to Bruce Lee

Papaya Tention

A play on "pay attention"

Shares a last name with his son, Dean Tention

Dally Inkent

A play on "delinquent"

And that is everyone from Ultra Despair Girls. Some of these were really hard to do, but I'm proud of them for the most part. Stay tuned for when I do characters from Danganronpa 3, because I know for sure I will.

Part 4 with the cast from Danganronpa 3

[lizardkingeliot]

The thing is tho... okay.

Here's the thing.

AMC’s Interview with the Vampire has so effectively driven home the point that Lestat loves Louis without condition and will continue loving him to the same degree forever regardless of the passage of time and regardless of what Louis has done that sometimes it's easy to forget that, like... Louis doesn't actually know that. Sometimes I'm really just like what do you MEAN Louis de Pointe du Lac doesn't know he's Lestat de Lioncourt's heartbeat now and forever Louis de Pointe du Lac do you even watch the SHOW.

Anyway. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but I think it's something about the romantic angst of it all. The way Lestat is going to be forced to betray Claudia and Louis in Paris during the trial leaving Louis with the belief that Lestat doesn't want him. He will view this as a rejection and this is the reason why he is going to spend the next 77 years of his life with Armand. This is why he couldn't just reach out to Lestat post-Paris and try to work things out. I’m not saying anything new here, I know. Most of us have worked this out already. It took me a while to get there yesterday when I was digesting the episode because, like I said, Lestat’s love is so obvious it’s easy to forget Louis really doesn’t know. But listen….

Louis is deeply unwell in 1973 San Francisco. When Lestat asks him why he’s ill all I can think right now is… well. Because he doesn’t have you. Even before he walked into the sun he was ill because he doesn’t have you. Ill in New Orleans after the deed was done. Ill in Paris and sustaining himself with memories so vivid it was like Lestat was there in the room. Ill in San Francisco when Armand could have ended it all by relaying Lestat's words to Louis, and didn't. Ill in Dubai searching the well of memory trying to find his way back to something like sanity again...

But listen. Sam Reid said Lestat very much thinks Louis is dead after 1973. This tracks. It fits very neatly with the ~theme. With what this season is trying to do wrt the romantic angst of it all. Maybe Lestat is still locked up in a dungeon or underground somewhere sleeping, maybe he isn't. Maybe he's rotting away in New Orleans, wrecked with grief, thinking about walking out and greeting the sun every morning when it rises and he's reminded Louis is gone. I guess we'll find out soon enough…

But listen. There's not some great conclusion I'm trying to arrive at with this post. I'm just spinning my wheels thinking about how delicious the tropes on this show truly are. To separate a love like that, to have Louis believe Lestat doesn't want him and have Lestat believe that Louis is dead. Well, friends... that sounds like a recipe for a grand reunion to me. And maybe what I'm trying to do with this post is toss another coin in the wishing well of a potential season 3. Because you can't have a love story like this that is destined to end in a reunion only to come back the next season to pretend it doesn't matter. I don't know. Maybe you can. But I really hope they don't. I really hope when they come back together at the end of this nightmare, when Lestat is finally permitted to have a voice of his own, that voice will be echoing through the halls of their home, because he'll be telling his story to Louis.

[lambmotifz]

s1-3 wincest is so good: the pining, the intimacy, a dash of tenderness….but i’ll forever be obsessed with their s4-5 dynamic because it’s gut wrenching and so deliciously angsty and toxic, the sexual tension between them in the siren episode, the growing power imbalance, dean’s anger and sam’s guilt….late kripke era wincest makes me a little insane

[spnregular]

@ samgirls im interested in meta on this bad episode (s9e4), is sam slyly like telling dean that he does not think she will come back while trying to save dean's feelings?

[nowimjustastranger]

I have been binge-reading your tumblr all day, and AHHHH, dude I love the StCMO AU so much holy shit. I cannot get enough of it. I actually read a Rick and Morty fic somewhat similar to this? It only focuses on one perspective, though. High key recommend:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22024960

Also love love loveee your fics! I actually first subscribed to your AO3 back when you were first writing Supernatural fanfiction, and then I found you again when I got into Gravity Falls ❤️. The Supernatural to Gravity Falls pipeline is SO REAL and there are so many similarities between Dean vs Stan and Sam vs Ford that it haunts me. I have so many fic ideas just based on episodes of Supernatural 😂. HIWTHI is actually lightly inspired by s2e20.

Sorry, I'm ranting. I had a few questions related to StCMO:

1. What would StCMO!Ford do about a Stan and Ford stuck in a death time loop together? Somewhat similarly to Deja Vu by interlude (though it doesn't have to be), but if it wasn't resolved? I gotta know how he feels about the crossbow death 😭

2. WWS!FD if Bill is constantly going after Stan through Rico and the cartel and whoever else because Ford wanted to make amends with his brother before the portal was finished? Bill doesn't want the distraction, and all of Stan's enemies are easily manipulated into deals to kill Stan off? (an AU of mine i've been toying with)

3. Does he ever feel a little bit detached after going through so many dimensions of Stans and Fords? I feel like it would be easy to become desensitized to it and forget the original perspective he started with.

Holy shit hi! Lovely to see you in the bottomless hole that is the GF fandom with me lmao. And yeah, lots of parallels with respective sets of brothers! I will absolutely read your fic rec! It looks delicious.

Death Loop

Admittedly, Ford 419"3 would have some trouble getting into the time loop, but he'd find a way if it meant safely breaking it. The hardest part for Ford 419"3 would be seeing Stan die and having to wait for the loop to reset. Lots of bad memories being dredged up. Because not only is he traumatized by his time in Bill's clutches, but the missions that go wrong had also left lingering mental wounds. Ford would have to figure out how to keep Stan and his brother alive long enough for Ford to actually break the time loop, so he'd have his hands full to say the least.

Bill is a Bitch

Ford would be having none of that shit. He'd probably enlist Lee to act as a bodyguard and have Lee deliver Stan to his brother safely while Ford handled the threats at the source (ie: wiping out all the gangs that have a vendetta against Stan). After he finished his task or removing the vast majority of threats against Stan to make it harder for Bill to find a puppet, Ford 419"3 would meet Lee and Stan at his counterpart's shack, showing his counterpart the evidence that he and Lee had collected to prove that Bill was behind the attempts on Stan's life.

Same Shit, Different Day

Ford doesn't become desensitized, per say, but seeing so much bad shit does leave it's mark on him. Instead of becoming numb to it, he had become obsessed with the safety of his loved ones. He's mentally unwell in the sense that he's constantly on alert, no longer able to truly let his guard down. Even with Lee and the niblings, unfortunately. He's more like a feral animal than a man, viciously protecting those that he considers his until death. He has insomnia due to his anxiety and paranoia, only sleeping when his body literally shuts down on him. Lee and Fiddleford are working on coaxing him to sleep a little here and there before that happens, but it's slow-going.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Candy Cane Lane

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: You only have one night to plan four parties and a special Christmas light show. Dean knows how important it is for you to see the lights, and he makes sure he keeps his promise when he tells you you’ll get to see the lights.

Square Filled: candy cane (2022) for @spnchristmasbingo

Author’s Note: yes, this is inspired by season 1 episode 9 of new girl

x

Four different Christmas parties and only one night to do them. The invitations are spread out on the table for you to look at, and you have your notebook spread open for you to take notes. The first of the parties doesn’t start until the late afternoon, so you still have time to plan for them. This is the only weekend everyone in your friend group has off from work, and you’re going to make sure you can hit every party before the night is over.

You’re not big on parties but you’re only going because you want everyone to do your thing at the very end of the night.

“What are you doing?”

You look up and see Dean walk into the kitchen wearing nothing but gray sweatpants that leave little to the imagination. You blush and look back down at your notebook so you don’t ogle him.

“I’m just trying to plan out how this evening is going to go. If we’re going to hit every party before the end of the night, I need to plan it out.”

“Why not just wing it? I’m good at that,” he grins.

“Winging it isn’t my thing. Plus, I am going to make sure I get to take you all to Candy Cane Lane this year.”

Candy Cane Lane is the name of the light festival a neighborhood puts on for whoever wants to come and see it. Everyone decorates their houses to the fullest, and they have small booths that offer popcorn, corn dogs, snow cones, and other things that families and kids can enjoy while they look at the lights. You’re impressed every year because they always seem to outdo themselves from the year before.

It’s magical.

“I look forward to it,” Dean smiles.

Not long after you craft the perfect plan, your entire friend group comes over. Charlie, Donna, Jody, Garth, and Castiel come with small gifts for you, Sam, and Dean who are roommates. You have a Cadillac Escalade that can fit all eight of you, so Sam will be the DD if anyone else wants to drink the night away.

“Gather around everyone,” you call out. “So, we have four parties to hit, and only six hours to do it in. After that, we can spend whatever time we have left at Candy Cane Lane which is conveniently next to Charlie’s party. So, we’ll be hitting that one last. I figure if we spend at most an hour and a half at each party, we’ll have one hour to spare to go see the lights.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Charlie grins.

The first party you hit is uneventful. Castiel warned you his party with his friends wasn’t going to go well, so you passed the time by drinking and talking to Dean. Jody and Donna’s police party is next. Their precinct transformed into a hangout spot for the officers and their loved ones. It’s more lively than Castiel’s party, but you can’t seem to get into it.

Dean breaks off from conversation with Jody and swipes a fresh glass of eggnog from the table. He walks over to you, and you turn to him with a smile.

“Eggnog?”

“Sure. Thank you.”

“So, having fun?”

“I guess. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Why did you come?”

“For you,” Dean looks surprised but he covers it with a subtle cough, “and for Sam and Donna and everyone else. I know this is what you guys wanted to do.”

“Honestly, I can’t wait to see the lights.”

A bright smile forms on your face. “I know right? All of the houses are decorated with thousands of lights. There are two neighbors who try to outdo the other which is always funny to see. They even put up fake snow machines everywhere so that the kids can enjoy it.”

“You enjoy it, too, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you gush. “One house always makes delicious hot chocolate. I keep trying to get the recipe from them but they never want to share it.”

“I can’t wait,” Dean smiles.

The third party you attend is on Garth’s farm. Beth’s entire family is there with a ton of kids, and she’s set up a bunch of different games for everyone to enjoy. They live more north so it’s snowing by the time you reach their farm. There is a thick blanket of snow on the ground which makes you happy. You love snow and everything about it, especially snow that’s away from the dirty city.

Some of the kids are already in a snowball fight while others are making snowmen on the other side of the farm.

“Snowball fight! Come on, Y/N!” Dean exclaims.

An “oof” sound comes out of your mouth when he drags you away from the group. As soon as you throw one snowball, you’re officially in the game. You haven’t done this in so long and your aim isn’t very good, but you have fun. Snowballs come rushing at you from all directions as if the kids are all ganging up on you.

You squeal when a snowball hits your face, and you run away while laughing. Dean is hidden in the shadows, determined to take out as many kids as he can as quietly as he can. He hides behind a tree and notices you walking away from the group. What you don’t see is an older kid creeping closer to you with a huge snowball in his hands.

You pass by the tree Dean is hiding behind, and he reaches out to grab you. You yelp in surprise not from the snowball that whizzes past your face but from Dean pulling you flush against his body. He turns and presses you gently against the tree before throwing his snowball at the kid.

“Thanks,” you whisper.

“No problem.”

Dean looks down at you and you’re suddenly aware of how close he is to you. He glances down at your lips which look a few shades lighter from how cold it is. It’s just you and him in this moment. Have you thought about kissing Dean? Yes. More than you care to admit. He’s your best friend and roommate. If things go wrong, you still have to live with him.

Still, you find yourself leaning into him. Right before your lips touch, someone calls your name. You jerk away from Dean and look at Charlie who is waving you over.

“Excuse me,” you whisper.

Sam waits for you to leave before jogging over to his brother.

“Did you do it?”

“No.”

“Dude.”

“Charlie called for her. She left.”

Sam slaps his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. You’ll get the next one.”

“I should stop being a pussy and just kiss her already. I shouldn’t have to use Christmas as an excuse.”

Dean and Sam leave the snowball fight and join the rest inside the barn. The fourth and final party is at Charlie’s office. She works at a data center, and they’re throwing a get-together on the main floor. You’re already over tonight but there’s alcohol so you’ll stick around for a bit longer. Garth’s party took longer than you would have liked which puts you behind schedule. Candy Cane Lane ends at midnight and it’s already ten. Candy Cane Lane is forty-five minutes away from Charlie’s office so you’re hoping everyone wants to leave a bit earlier than planned.

Forty-five minutes come and go quicker than you would have liked, and you’re only getting sadder at not being able to go to see the lights.

“Hey, are you okay?” Dean asks.

“I guess.”

“What’s wrong?”

“We spent longer at Garth’s party than we should have. If we don’t go soon, we’re going to miss the lights.”

“Let me take care of it.”

“How?”

“We’ll leave now.”

“Really?” you smile.

“Let me tell Sam and Cas. Be right back.”

Dean leaves and you stay where you are so that he can find you when he gets back. After ten minutes pass, you decide to search for Dean. Maybe he got held up. You push past the crowds to get to the other side of the office where the breakroom is. That’s where they have the food, and that’s where Sam most likely is.

You’re about to enter when Dean catches you in the doorway.

“I got Sam and Cas on board.”

“Where are the others?” Dean’s silence causes you to look into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Much like the tree, he’s very close to you. You get caught in his green irises, so much so that you don’t notice him leaning toward you.

“Y/N!”

You look to the right and see Charlie waving you over.

“Charlie!”

You leave Dean’s side and rush over to hers to discuss the possibility of leaving. Dean groans and rests his head on the doorframe before looking at the mistletoe Sam taped right before you walked in.

“Dude,” Sam chuckles.

“Shut up.”

It took ten more minutes but you got everyone to agree to leave the party early. Luck is not on your side because everyone is leaving their parties to head home, so the streets are filled with bumper-to-bumper traffic. You don’t let that get you down, though, because you have hope of seeing those twinkling lights you love so much.

“Hey, I hate to cut the party short, but I got to get back home. A couple of the kids are getting sick from eating the snow,” Garth says. “I can call an Uber if you let me off here.”

“Sure,” Dean says.

As soon as one breaks off, the rest drop like flies. Jody and Donna have work in the morning and Charlie has to see her mom before the night is over. Castiel is staying since he’s spending the night with you, Dean, and Sam. With most of the party gone and the fact that you’re still in traffic, you don’t have high hopes of making it to Candy Cane Lane.

“We should just go home, Dean.”

“No, you wanted to see the lights.”

“Dean, it’s nearly midnight and we’re still thirty minutes away. It’s fine. I can go next weekend by myself.”

The entire car ride is silent as Dean continues to drive. He looks at you and hates seeing you disappointed. He promised you that he’d get you to Candy Cane Lane, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. He quickly makes a U-turn and heads toward the lights.

“What are you doing, Dean?”

“I told you we’re going to see the lights, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Dean, it’s almost one in the morning. We’re too late.”

Dean pulls into the empty neighborhood. All the lights are off, the inflatables are in puddles on the ground, and the place looks creepy with strings of unlit lights. He gets out and walks to the middle of the road. 

“Turn on your lights!” he yells.

“Dean!” you gasp.

“Turn on your lights!” Sam and Castiel get out to do the same, but you stay inside the car with a shocked look on your face. “Come on! It’s Christmas! Turn on your lights!”

“Turn on your lights!” Sam yells and jogs closer to one of the houses.

“I got a girl out here who’d like to see the lights! Turn on your lights!”

You smile at the thought of Dean doing all this for you. At one in the morning. Even though they might call the cops on you. Dean doesn’t care. All he cares about is making you happy. You step out of the car and watch three men run around the block trying to get people to turn their lights on.

The lights on the house behind you turn on, and their inflatable snowman starts filling with air. More lights come on and more inflatables come to life. The snow machines start spewing fake snow onto the street, and you gasp happily at seeing the private show.

“Dean! Look!” you exclaim happily. “Look at the snow!”

Dean walks up to you and pulls you into a hug. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

You run your hands down his chest as you pull away from him. This is it. This is the moment, Dean declares. The fake snow falls all around you, and the lights twinkle in your eyes. He leans in and this time, there is nothing stopping him.

You meet him halfway and kiss him with passion. Sam nudges Cas with a smirk, and both of them head back to the car to give you and Dean a moment alone.

“You did this all for me?”

Dean reaches for your hair and tucks a strand behind your ear. “I’d do anything for you.”

You pull down Dean for another kiss, feeling the Christmas magic.

x

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[hexedwinchester]

Supernatural S05E11 Sam, Interrupted

Huh! You know that starting scene where Dean tries to get Sam admitted to the psychiatrist facility and instead of lying they tell the truth about the apocalypse? So not only Dean didn't say that the apocalypse was his fault too, he straight up exposed Sam's demon blood drinking habit to a stranger?? Just a few episodes ago a couple of hunters tried to force feed Sam demon blood and here is big brother Dean broadcasting it to a doctor??

when we talk about Sam's loss of bodily autonomy, how come no one mentions the gropey examination of the nurse/wraith?

Doesn't Sam just look extra delicious in this episode?! I don't know if it's the setting or the hair or the minimal layer or that white t shirt but oh my damn I wanna dip him in chocolate and eat him up

Not surprised Dean's shrink is a hot doctor

Sam, honey, no! We don't poke swabs into holes found on dead bodies or cut open their skull 💀

Pudding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wendy wanting Sam for all right reasons! Right there with ya, sis! (Although, that's twice Sam got assaulted, so there's that)

I love Sam's rage arc in this episode. Now for most of the show we have seen Dean being the one with anger issues but I found Sam's rage quite interesting. The whole mental asylum effect aside, but Sam's rage is more self destructive in nature unlike Dean where Sam ends up being his punching bag. All the wrong decisions he made affected him more than anyone else: like drinking demon blood for example

Loopy Sam is so cute! Like a toasty marshmallow!! Speaking of loopy Sam, i always felt Sam telling Dean it's okay and he still loves him felt kinda out of place until I saw this scene twice. Just before Sam says that Dean tells him that he made a mistake and he'll handle it. That got me thinking, anytime Sam screwed up Dean wouldn't let him hear the end of it. So Sam is basically just trying to treat him in a way he probably would have wanted to be treated..

Anyone remember that post I made about Jared using different voices for his character?? It's very evident when you see the loopy Sam scene. It's not Sam's voice he is talking in, it's more Jared, loud, chirpy, rough around the edges

Boop! And that cute chuckle that follows it 🥰

So Sam and Rowena both have booped Dean. How come no one ever booped Sam?! Sucha cute boopable nose he has got

That conversation between Sam and the doctor is so tragic, i absolutely love it. It's so sad that everyone points out that Sam is not human, he's a freak and it's even worse when Sam admits to it. I hate it so much that I love it!

What's also interesting is that right after the doc points out that Sam is barely human, his brain sort of holds onto that thought and then when he hallucinates everyone is calling him a freak and blaming it all on him. Kinda like the wraith's effect amped it up

His "leave me alones" are so tragic. Oh Sam!

Y'all don't underStand just how important Sam Winchester locked up in a padded cell is to me. I need multiple fics written on that theme. Somebody write it!!!

what will it take for someone to get a bigger bad for this man?! 😭 If it wasn't for the bent knees his footsies would hang off

Dean being squeamish about the wraith's -stinger is it?- Will never be not funny

It's so freaking sad that everyone gaslights Sam into believing that the problem is him. He is inherently bad. Oh Sam!

Dean, sweetie, I know you mean well but please keep your advice to yourself. Shoving or burying down that crap is not best way to cope

Where is the "I want him now, he's larger" gif when you need it?!