#I went a wedding and now i have my iPad back finally
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squashberri-art · 1 year ago
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Wasn’t planning to come back with a doodle but…he looks so good in this scene 👹👹👹
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deathofpeaceofmiiind · 11 months ago
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high infidelity
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Storm coming, good husband, bad omen…dragged my feet right down the aisle | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | | eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen | twenty | twenty one | | twenty two | twenty three | twenty four | twenty five | | twenty six | twenty seven | twenty eight | twenty nine | | thirty | thirty one | thirty two - finale | Find part two: illicit affairs here 18+ for smut, swearing, drinking etc Prologue Marriage is a fickle thing. Sure, on paper it looks great, but step away from the paper and it’s not as it appears. Growing up all we heard was how marriage was the end game for women. We would meet a man with a wealthy job, we’d stay at home and raise our children…that was the tradition, right? Honestly, fuck tradition. I often wonder what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t swiped right on my now husband, Tyler. He was the kind of man you wanted to take home to your mother. Tyler was the polar opposite of what I typically went for. I usually went for guys that were dark, tattooed and listened to heavier music. He was blonde haired, blue eyed, athletic, and made all his female assistants fall to their knees when he smiled. So you can imagine where this is going… About a month ago I had found out Tyler was sleeping with one of this assistants and had been for the duration of our marriage. He left his iPad at home one day and it wouldn’t stop beeping, so I went to shut it off and I saw his texts, emails, FaceTime calls to her that were all synced from his iPhone. Of course I was devastated because he was such a good husband, for the most part, and when he told me he had to work late, I actually believed him. When he proposed to me, I thought it was genuine. I thought he loved me the way that I loved him but looking back on it now, I know he was being pressured by his family. He grew up in a incredibly conservative household where you had to live the cookie cutter lifestyle to be successful in life. We had the big wedding with our friends and family and left for our honeymoon in Hawaii the next day, how traditional. Exactly six weeks after our honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant with our son. After I gave birth to Liam, Tyler wasn’t around as much as I hoped he would be…but that seems to be a trend for some husbands. Men love having the title of being a father but they leave their wives to raise them while they get to pass around cigars and whiskey. I started to resent him and I wanted to leave him but I felt like that was a good enough reason, Luckily, now I had one. 
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livewiregoth · 21 days ago
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Sanrio Uni Gen10’s wedding
I've been a little distracted so forgot to get around to this until now. I dunno if it was SOnadowtober or what that held me up but meh.
Gen10 finally got married 18 days ago(I'm going off checking gen11's profile earlier) or maybe 19 since it's 1:51am. I'm aware my sleep schedule is messed up & I might have to cancel plans to go to be early again.
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I wanted to get a pic of this to show my options. I almost went for this space guy again but I went for Kikitchi who funny enough my gen10 on the Tamagotchi On married recently. I'm also realizing I misnamed one of the twins but oh well.
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This place looks nice, forgot what region leads to this place
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That's kinda cute & to the point
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If I'm lucky when I get around to using my ipad the last image will look better
I want to marry gen11 soon so with luck I get back to catching up on past posts
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andrewisdoing · 1 year ago
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Life Update: 8/3
I know I haven’t been posting a lot of my own personal thoughts on the blog lately but I thought it would be cool to give an update on my life and perhaps restart writing more about my life or at least take the time to reflect on things that are ripping through my head on a regular basis. Even though I absolutely love re-posting, re-blogging and gif sharing, the whole reason I started a blog was to write out my thoughts and share what I was doing at the time. Now, while I absolutely will never stop sharing my love of nostalgic junk, gay fabulousness and black thangs, artistic shit and the gifs I create of the moments in film, television and such, I will try to post my thoughts and reflections here. Mind you, I could totally do it in a journal but now that I have acquired this iPad and typewriter, I want to put it to good use.
So… here goes:
I have been working my face off at work and it’s been paying off in a huge way and it still shocks me that I could FINALLY be a manager at one of our stores.
My youngest sister is married and even though I reconciled with some members of my family and made it through the whole thing without so much as a whiff of drama, the experience has made me realize once again that I absolutely hate weddings (i.e. the build up, behind the scenes drama, wedding planners, lack of plan etc.). However, seeing my sister get married and dance with my dad was probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a long while.
Reading has been keeping me grounded…and broke. I have too many interests ranging from The Harlem Renaissance to the treatment of Gay men in WWII. I find myself thinking hard about the world around us and I want to continue to learn and learn. Plus, I feel like the world opens up with each page turned.
This could also be me typing out of my ass but I really really REALLY want to get back into going to the gym or at the very least doing push ups every morning. I hate not having that energy to actually do the things I need to do to feel good and after all that has happened with the wedding and mess, I feel like I can do anything! I am going to try to keep momentum.
My record collection is stagnant but it’s given me time to take stock and listen to what I have. Lately, I have been listening to a lot of Rufus Wainwright, Troye Sivan, Janet Jackson and Madonna. I feel so connected to these artists in particular and I especially can’t wait for Troye’s new album to drop.
Overall, life has stayed relatively busy. In between dog/cat sitting and work, I feel like when I finally get some down time, I end up just relaxing. Even today I went for a long walk to clear my head. I get the feeling change is in the air and whatever lies ahead, all I can ask for is a clear head, working body and a communicative tongue.
Till next time,
Andrew R.
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foreverindreamlandd · 3 years ago
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Bucky wanted to read her fanfictions and she always declined. So he begged and begged and begged... until she finally gives up and let him read one. 'Cause who could really say no to Bucky making puppy eyes?!
Let me know what you think about it
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader
WC: 1.5k (I am apparently incapable of writing a drabble)
A/N: Thank you again for another awesome request! I was basically cackling the whole time I wrote it. Want to read about how Bucky and this reader got together? Check out their origin story in my To Be Wanted series! Only warning in this one is the usual swearin’ like a sailor.
----
“See, this is why I always order Thai food. I can never do it justice.” You frown over your wok, mixing the noodles around with a wooden spoon hoping it will somehow make your creation taste better.
“I’m sure it tastes great, doll.” Bucky walks up next to you and grabs a noodle, tilting his head back as he drops it into his mouth.
His eye twitches almost imperceptibly and you groan.
“It’s good,” he coughs out, trying with all of his strength to regain his composure. “I think you just went a little too hard on the chili paste. I can feel my sinuses clearing up though, which is good, right?”
You roll your eyes. “Can you check the recipe on Pinterest again? I swear I put in the right amount.”
Bucky walks over and picks up your iPad. Right as he’s scrolling to find out if you should have used 2 tablespoons or 2 teaspoons of chili paste, a notification banner pops up and he accidently taps it, opening up your Tumblr app.
Omg! This fic is amazing! The way Bucky is there to support the reader. My heart completely melted! Your Bucky stories are amazing, Y/n! <3
Above the comment is a photo of him. It’s a shot from the news where he’s helping a civilian stand up after one of the attacks made by The Red Hand.
“Uh….love? What’s this?” He holds the iPad up to you and you shift your gaze over to him.
You drop the wooden spoon into the wok as all of the blood drains from your face. You’re frozen in place for a millisecond before you pounce on Bucky to grab the device from him. He’s never seen you move so quickly and it catches him off guard.
“Bucky give me the iPad right now,” you fling your arms toward it and he pulls it away, both amused and a bit concerned by your reaction.
“Wait, what is this? Is it something I should be worried about?”
You see a flicker of panic flash in his eyes and you stop flailing. You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh.
“No, I mean, I should be concerned because if you read that I’m probably going to combust and you’re going to dump me and run for the hills.” He furrows his brows in confusion and you slowly lift up your hand. “Can I please have that back before I have a mild panic attack?”
He stares at you, trying to gauge your emotions. All he can see is panic and sadness and it breaks his heart so he instantly gives in and hands you the iPad.
“Don’t worry about it, love. I trust you.” He leans forward to give you a chaste kiss.
You let out a pained groan against his lips and Bucky is once again confused.
“Ughhhh I hate hiding things from you.” You lock your iPad so the screen goes dark. “Okay, fine, I guess this conversation is happening. Remember when we first started dating and I, uh, mentioned I used to read and write stories about….us being a couple?”
Bucky nods, trying not to reveal any emotion to you that might make you spiral into a panic, and you continue.
“Well, that was one of those stories I wrote. I stopped looking on Tumblr basically as soon as I met you because it got all weird and meta and I got super uncomfy by the idea of reading fanfics - that’s what they’re called - about my new friend/now boyfriend Bucky Barnes. And then we started dating and I was all happy and shit and I totally forgot that those fics were still out there. Obviously I haven’t written any since then because that would be weird for...many, many reasons. Someone must have found an old one and commented on it. I’ll delete it. I’ll delete all of them. I swear. I’m so sorry, Bucky. I should have been more on top of this.”
Bucky stares at you, lips pursed and you grimace, afraid of the next words that are about to come out of his mouth.
This is so weird, Y/n. How could you do this?
No wonder you didn’t date anyone before me.
Obsessed much? (Okay, he probably wouldn’t say it like that but STILL).
No, what Bucky said next was much, much worse than what you could have imagined.
“Can I read one?”
Your mouth drops. Closes. Drops again. You blink rapidly.
“I’m sorry, I just hallucinated. What?”
Bucky points to your iPad, a sly grin forming on his face. “I want to read one of your stories.”
You take a step back from him, horror stricken as you pull the iPad closer to you as if you were protecting your collector’s edition of ‘Throne of Glass.’
“Absolutely not.”
Bucky steps forward and you step back. He chuckles. “Come onnn, doll. I want to know what your fantasies were about me before we got together.” He laughs harder as the look of horror on your face grows more manic.
“Bucky, I know you’re a super soldier and could probably punch me into the sun with your metal arm, but I promise I will fight to the death before I let you read one of these fics.”
You and Bucky continue this dance of him stepping forward and you stepping back until you feel your legs make contact with your couch and you fall back into a sitting position on its arm. Bucky uses this opportunity to tower over you, his arms resting on the couch so that you’re pinned between them.
Then, he pulls out the big guns.
His gaze softens, blue eyes shining into yours. His bottom lip puffs out and he gives you the most adorable, sexiest pout you’ve seen in your whole life.
“Please, love?” He says it with a slightly higher pitch, almost like a whine and it still sounds like honey to your ears. He even nudges your nose with his like a freaking sociopath.
Damn.
You close your eyes, let out a breath, then open them back up to him. “I hate you.”
His pout turns into a boyish grin and he gives you a quick kiss. “You love me.”
You groan. “Hopefully you still love me after this, Buck. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
You stand and open up your iPad, scrolling through your masterlist and finding what used to be one of your favorite fluff pieces. You begrudgingly hand it to Bucky and he sits on the couch.
Unable to sit still during this agonizing experience, you proceed to pace around your apartment like a crazy person and resort to cleaning the inside of your microwave which you haven’t done in a few months so it’s a good thing that Bucky is reading your fic so that you could get that out of the way. You probably won’t have a boyfriend in a few minutes but at least your microwave will be spotless.
You only steal a few glances at Bucky as he reads, mortified each time as you see his eyebrows move in every possible direction. Up, down, knit together, were they criss-crossed at one point?
Finally, after what feels like the longest ten minutes of your life, Bucky lets out a soft grunt, placing the iPad down on his lap. He looks up to you and you give him a weak smile.
“Alright, let me have it, Buck. Give me your worst. Be honest. Also, I love you.”
Bucky glances down at the iPad and then back at you.
“Well, I have a few questions.”
Your right eye twitches. “Hm?”
“Now that you’ve met me, do you still think my eyes are an all-consuming storm of blue?” You groan. He grins. “Or do you think my jawline was cut from marble created by the gods?”
This time, you breathe out a laugh and you walk over to sit on his lap. You take hold of his chin.
“Bucky, I don’t think I could ever come up with the right words to describe you. The real thing is quite literally a million times better than anything I’ve ever written.”
His eyebrows raise. “That is...probably the best compliment I’ve ever gotten in my whole damn life.” He leans forward and kisses you, and you sigh into the feeling of his mouth on yours, relief flooding through you.
You pull away, eyes skeptical. “So, you’re not thinking about how you can escape and never see my crazy ass again?”
“On the contrary, love, I’m thinking about how I can convince you to buy this gorgeous green dress you apparently wore as my wedding date. The one that showed off your cleavage in a way that made Bucky’s brain melt.”
The two of you burst out laughing and you lightly shove his chest. “Sure thing, Bucko. How about I work on the dress situation and you work on ordering us Thai food so that we don’t lose our taste buds from whatever the hell I just made.”
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Thank you for reading! Feel free to check out my other stuff here. :)
Taglist: @ceo-of-daichi @biiskuitx @forgetthisbull @eclipses-and-moondust @abcdefxkyou @jackiehollanderr @billionsofbeans @abitgryffindorky @lovelylostminds @mija-just-breathe @semlohkratz @bratty-longbottom-replies @carrotfantasimp @cremedelabrulee @ant1r3al1ty @th-e-mg@laura-moehrchen @emma-the-duck17 @sunnyjane4 @rosaline-black @parodsal000 @vicmc624 @abrunettefangirlnerd @officiallykuute @edityourwishingwell @mymindslabyrinth
***This was the original tag list for the To Be Wanted series. If you would like to be removed from the taglist for any other stories related to this series, feel free to DM me! And let me know if you would like to be *added* to the taglist for any other future stories featuring these two knuckleheads. :)
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ktheist · 4 years ago
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(why) we got married | m
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synopsis. they say the 7th year of your marriage is always an uphill battle - but with the existence of your prenup coming to light thanks to taehyung’s lawyer slash family friend’s slip of tongue - first it reached your and his families, and then your family’s close friends and then your family’s close friends’ friends until - almost everyone is speculating on the grounds of you and taehyung’s marriage being anything but love.
you’re not sure if you’re even going to make past the second year mark in your marriage. but is the reason you got married really as important as why you choose to stay or leave?
muses. chairman!taehyung x stewardess!reader
alternative title. as you are.
inspired by. the 1 by taylor swift
genre. arranged marriage au with a pinch of drama and angst
words. 12.5k
warnings. explicit content
verse. knj. ksj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.
x
in your defense, neither you nor taehyung made an elaborated plan to deceive both his family and yours with the marriage which yes, had been founded upon a contract. but that’s not the point - the point is, your father and brother never sat down with taehyung and had a man-to-man talk. and his mother never sniffed out your reason for marrying her son being his abundance of wealth. but when all comes to light, thanks to taehyung’s lawyer slash family friend who made a slip of tongue - your parents and his were the ones most vindictive about who’s digging whose gold.
and to be completely frank, you were one article away from calling up your mother and telling her that you seduced taehyung into marrying you - just so she’d stop baring her fangs at mrs. kim. these days the headlines keep blowing up your mother and mrs. kim’s completely-by-chance meeting at a five star restaurant that erupted into manic yelling and pointing fingers.
“what did you say, you-” the audio bleeps for a split second before your mother in law’s voice comes back on, “-it was your daughter that seduced my son!”
“you crazy-” the audio bleeps again, “-you better watch your mouth or i’ll-”
the remaining seconds of the video are filled with bleeps that make it hard to even understand what either woman was saying. a wave of regret floods your chest as you scroll down the words strewn out into a juicy, tea-spilling commentary on your and taehyung’s past - the writer seems to pick up the minor little details that, in hindsight, leaves a big fat question mark out in the open.
when exactly did ___ ___ and kim taehyung start dating?
the answer was never.
the two times you and taehyung were photographed together was at a cafe near your office and the other, near his penthouse wherein you were discussing the terms of the contracts by yourselves. the one near taehyung’s penthouse being the final stage where you both signed it on your ipads. to the naked eye, you probably looked like you were on a date and being young professionals, it was only a given that both of you had some sort of electronic on you at all times - even during dates.
everyone just assumed you were together and with the assumption of being together, comes the conclusion that you were deeply, madly in love. was it the way the picture caught you two looking at each other with smiles on your faces? was it it’s sister picture that stilled you in a frame where you’re looking at your ipad and taehyung looking at you with the same - possibly remaining - smile from the moment the first picture was taken? that, you will never know.
but so it goes, you started going to socials together because taehyung needed some cleansing from his... charm-filled past. he used to go to those with different partners each week, and the previous woman that went with him always ended up refusing to talk about it or boasting about her ‘relationship’ with him. that was of course, after yoo now-kim jeongyeon got married three years ago. he used to attend those socials with her for the most part.
but someway, somehow, his public record was clean of any drama.
you would know, you’ve seen the man in action with your very eyes. on your 7th social event together, son chaeyoung had marched up to you and him like a ticking time bomb, red-faced and flaring nostrils and all. you were about ready to stand your ground when taehyung softly touched your hand that was around his arm and asked if you minded if he left for some fresh air.
of course you didn’t - respectfully, you couldn’t care less what taehyung does as long as it didn’t bring a negative light to you and him and the dynasties you both carried over your shoulders. everyone had their eyes wide open and ears perked for what was to come when taehyung walked chaeyoung out to the hallway. but nothing happened, and you were left to mingle on your own until he returned, looking devilishly handsome as always and strutted up to you with an air of refined sureness.
chaeyoung didn’t come back with him but everything remained quiet - not even a dramatic “stay away from my man!” at any point of your contract. you never asked how he did it - you thought it involved money, but over time, you realized it was just kim taehyung and all the things that made those women attracted to him. and just like a flame, he’d burned the moths’ wings until they couldn’t flutter over to him anymore after your wedding.
“uh, miss, we’re here,” the driver calls, meeting your eyes through the rear-view mirror.
it takes you a few moments to close the cover of your ipad and shove it into your handbag before pulling out bills that’s worth more than your car ride, “thanks, keep the change.”
and with that, you hop out of the cab, ready to put on a facade of grace and confidence. the staff who knows you greets you with a range of emotions, some with unhinged admiration from day one, others with curiosity on what’s truly hidden beneath those darken ray bans - without a doubt, aware of the drama going on between their boss’ mother and their boss’ wife’s mother.
either way, you make sure to return each smile and greeting like you always do. red lips sewn across your face like an ever smiling doll.
it’s only once you’ve entered the elevator and luckily left to your own devices, do you let your shoulder sag, the smile downturned into a frown all the way until a ding echoes into the small compartment and a red ‘8′ flashes on top of the doors.
you don’t fail to fix the secretaries a smile, relief flooding over you at how their warm - or was it profession-required - greeting hasn’t changed even after the rumors spreading about your inevitable divorce - of course, purported by you and taehyung’s mothers.
“son, if you don’t divorce that woman right away, i-i,” and here you see for yourself, the woman who called you ‘my daughter’ with the most loving voice, stuttering into a fit of rage, “i don’t think i can face my friends anymore - that bitch jihye has been slandering our family saying you used her daughter to get hold of the company!”
mina is about to knock on the door and announce your arrival when you hold a hand up before placing an index finger to your lips. she doesn’t need to be told twice when she nods once and steps back to leave you eavesdropping on your mother in law and husband.
“that’s fair,” there isn’t even a stuttered beat in his response.
“what-”
“that’s part of the reason we got married,” he goes on, “and ___ needs some help setting up her brother with some connection so it works out - and mom, please refer to ___ and mrs. jeon by their names, ___ is still my wife and mrs. jeon is the woman who raised her.”
“y-you-” mrs. kim stutters out in disbelief just when you decide to make your presence known, hand on the door, “you ungrateful child, oh my- oh my-!” you walk into the sight of the woman falling backwards with mr. ji the kims’ lawyer stretching his arms out to catch her, shouting “madam!” while taehyung launching himself across the room, “mom!”
mrs. kim ends up hospitalized.
“it was a case of stress and overworking that should go away with a good few days’ break,” chairman kim who also opts to assume his seat as part of the hospital’s doctor and a family friend of taehyung’s, fixes you with a reassuring smile.
the stethoscope and white robe gives off a more professional vibe than the sophisticated air you see him wear at family dinners.
“that’s a relief - it’s nothing life-threatening,” the smile you return doesn’t seem to sit right with him as his eyebrows knit together and a cloud seem to loom over his face.
“it’s really not in my place but,” he pauses, probably weighing out the pros and cons of offending you with what he’s about to say - but he doesn’t need to worry too much because after today, you probably won’t be seeing each other at dinners any time soon, “me and jeongyeon,” he means his wife and taehyung’s childhood friend, “are here for you if you need to talk - i know mrs. kim can be a little unreasonable at times, but give her some time. don’t give up on her.”
you nod once, murmuring a hollow ‘thanks for that, seokjin’ before watching the man strut down the hallway, the sound of his footsteps accompanying his leave. only when you’re left with the sound of your breathing, do you finally allow chairman kim’s words to sink into the deepest depth of your heart.
it’s not an easy task to keep your heart still and unbothered by your own mother in law’s words. even now, you can still hear her embellishing her headache, back ache, joint pains and every sort of non-fatal pains she has enough to get taehyung to stay by her bedside - so he doesn’t go home. doesn’t go back to the place where you two have built for yourselves.
and yet you can’t help but agree that - “if you’d divorced her just like i told you, i wouldn’t have fallen so ill!” she sighs, just as you’re about to slide the door open.
all of a sudden, the image of the delicate woman swaying and tumbling towards the ground flashes at the back of your head and you instantly recoil, as if the door was made from fire.
the fear of worsening mrs. kim’s health at the sight of you has you backing away, choosing to wait at the seat in the hallway instead. seconds stretch into minutes and minutes into hours until you feel your body being shaken.
your eyes which you never noticed fluttered close - snap open only to gaze at the face of an angel - a concerned one at that judging from the way his eyebrows knit together. and then you’re hearing the smooth baritone of his voice. you almost pulled out your phone from your purse to ask if you could have it recorded so you could listen to it as a lullaby.
that is, until you realize the angel’s disheveled wavy hair and eyes that look like they’re well on their way to falling asleep standing.
“taehyung,” the name slips out of your mouth with a surprised gasp as you note the pristine pastel background of the vip section, body jolting to sit up from your previously slumping position.
“have you been waiting all this time?” he takes a seat next to you - and only then do you notice the unkempt mess that he is.
the first few buttons of his shirt is undone whilst it hangs over his shoulders, untucked, tie hanging loose over his chest as he drapes his blazer over his arm. the sight is almost alien, especially coming from someone who can’t even stand a crease in his shirt.
“what time is it?” you wonder, reaching for your phone while he checks the rolex on his wrist - which proves to be faster than rummaging through your bag.
“seven-thirty - you’ve been waiting here for more than five hours,” and just your luck, right as the words hit the air, your stomach decides to remind you of the meal you’re about to miss if you stay here any longer.
the heat rushing to your cheeks a second later is immeasurably hot, “o-oh, okay.”
clearing your throat, you ask, “so how was mother? seokjin already told me but i wanted to hear it from you that she’s okay.”
“you know how mom is - keeps saying her head hurts from the fall even though mr. ji managed to catch her halfway,” in any other circumstances, you and him would have found humor in how your mother in law’s overembellished diagnosis to gain attention from you and taehyung - but this time, it’s only one of you she wants that from.
it doesn’t stop you from chuckling though, “it sounds just like her - maybe i should make some ginseng chicken soup to help her get better... or beef seaweed, you know, her...”
swallowing the lump in your throat is a feat - and unfortunately, you’ve failed terribly as taehyung gather you his arms.
only then, do you realize you’re sobbing like a child, emotions running wild as everything comes crashing in like a storm - his mother, your family, the whole fucking tabloids that’s being written and ready to be posted in the next few hours and the fact that the marriage may have been a fraud, but the bonds you made along the way had been more than just business. mrs. kim was a mother to you as much as yours is to taehyung. there may have not been any love between you two but you cherish his family like he cherishes yours.
“i’m sorry - for causing a- a scene - for causing mother to f-faint-” you weep and weep.
in your crying fit, you barely notice the way his arms tighten just the tiniest bit as he sways you left to right gently, one hand on the back of your head caressing your hair as he whispers something along the lines of “it’s not your fault” and “we’ll figure it out together.”
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and so for the nth time in your one year of marriage, you’re banding together to capture mrs. kim’s heart again. the first time you visited her with taehyung, she narrowed her eyes at you and demanded taehyung explain as to why he didn’t come alone through the very same eyes next second.
when the man pretended not to notice and even placed a hand on your lower back just as your steps faltered in a ‘i’m with you’ kind of way, she opted to stare out the window while you unpack the broth you made onto the table. the portion you poured into the bowl you brought was getting colder by the minute as you spoke to her, “mother, i made beef seaweed soup, it’s your favorite, isn’t it?”
the only indication that she was listening was the way her eyes scanned the bowl of broth in front of her and proceeded to keep them on the window until you had to leave.
and so goes your second and third visits being received with shoulders made of ice a kind of silence that never fails to make your stomach churn with a sort of nervousness you should have felt when you meet your future husband’s parents for the first time. but the first time you met mrs. kim, your chest was filled with nothing short confidence and woo her you did along with taehyung’s relatives and closed friends. at the time, you didn’t think what you were doing - fooling everyone into believing that you’re marrying each other for love - would come biting you in the ass.
if karma existed then this probably you getting what you deserved.
on your fouth visit, you’d come alone because taehyung had an urgent meeting to attend. mrs. kim spared you a once over just like a rabbit who voluntarily and follishly hopped into the lion’s den.
“mother,” you offer her a smile, “how are you feeling?”
when silence is the only response you get, you quickly rummage through the paper bag you’d brought with you, “have you eaten? i made chicken soup-”
“don’t bother,” her voice cuts through the air like a blade. eyes as piercing as spears, “sit down, i know taehyung has an urgent meeting - it’s the only way to get him off my back.”
you’re not quite sure what she means but you have an inkling that the reason her hostility has yet to reach its pique is because taehyung has been giving her subtle looks to ‘mom, be nice to my wife’.
with a nod and a smile that seems to be glued to your face, you ask, “how was the bibimbap yesterday?”
though she didn’t cut you off, her response doesn’t exactly shed hope to your efforts being paid off when she dismissively says, “i gave it to mr. ji.”
the immediate ‘oh’ that tumbles out of your mouth is purely reflexive even though you know she’s never touched the meals you packed for her. but having her admit it is a different kind of heartbreak.
“i see,” is all you can say as you feel tears prick your waterline, a lump in your throat.
“this,” she places a folder of documents she seems to have ready by her bedside into your hands and without any explanation, sends you off with, “if you have any conscience at all, you’d sign these papers and stay out of our lives.  even though i never read the contract but i’m sure a smart woman such as yourself would’ve thought to include the alimony as well - you understand what i’m saying right?”
you tried to say something - anything but at that point, the look in her eye already paints a picture of you clinging onto taehyung’s wealth. and yet you still tried, “m-mother, i-...”
but no words come out and as though her point had been proven, she’d huffed out a sigh and tuned you out like she always did on your previous visits.
so you walked down the hallway with shades covering your tear stained eyes and a skip to your step that oh-so-badly wishes to break into an unceremonious run to a place where nobody knows you. where nobody looks at you with rounded eyes for the briefest moment that easily translates to mrs. kim ___, wife of kadore’s chairman who married her husband for money.
but all you can afford to do is keep your head up until you reached the bathroom door, check each stall one by one to make sure no one’s inside before you finally set down the document and your handbag on the sink. the first sob hits the air as soon as you see the woman in the reflection’s reddening eyes and smudged makeup.
it takes you several breath-holding, eyes-shutting and a couple more sobs breaking through the cracks of your walls before you can finally pat some powder onto the patch of skin under your eyes and on your cheeks where most of the damage was done. by the time you’re back in the hallway with shades darker than the night sky, you find your feet melting and becoming one with the floor at the sight of a man with jet black hair standing at the reception.
and almost as though sensing the heat of your gaze through your ray bans, the man turns around to reveal a pair of doe brown eyes and the smile you’re so used to seeing now missing in action and replaced with a straight line.
“jungkook...”
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“how’d you know i’d be here?” you start once you’ve both placed an order for your drinks at the counter.
“how long are you going to keep doing this?” instead of answering your question with a real answer, jungkook heaves out a sigh, eyebrows knitting together in vexation as he fixes you with one of those ‘i’m not telling mom and dad but this is our problem now’ kind of look.
“how ever long it takes,” is all you say, reverting your gaze to the smooth surface of the table.
“are those the divorce papers?” you refuse to look at him but you know he’s burning holes inside the beige colored folder sitting underneath your handbag on the seat between you and him.
“i don’t know,” you shrug, shoulders squared as you meet his eyes through your shades, “i haven’t opened it yet.”
but jungkook being jungkook, he takes that as a bare affirmation, choosing to interrogate you on a different topic, “have you seen what people have been saying about you?"
“i don’t really care about what people say,” is all you have to offer.
“you haven’t,” he nods in conclusion, “they’re saying you can’t have enough of your husband’s money... they’re saying you’re coming here everyday to grovel over his mother’s feet to let you stay married - that’s how i know you’d be here. and judging from the looks of it, they’re not too far off.”
it takes you a good solid minute to stomach the new found information. you haven’t been checking social media because of those same exact malicious comments but that was just the beginning of a downward spiral of your reputation - you never thought your efforts and hard work of burning your fingers on hot stoves and redoing dishes to get a perfect one would be met with an assumption of groveling over mrs. kim’s feet all for your husband’s money.
“god, i need a smoke,” jungkook huffs, receiving a look from the waiter that’s setting your drinks down. only after she’s gone does he present you with another set of questions. “was he the one that paid off dad’s debts? all of them? even the loan sharks?”
“that...” you nod once, failing to keep your head high as you twirl the straw of your frappe around but don’t even take a sip, “and the money i said i had saved up and lent you to start your company,” you quickly add,“- but taehyung doesn’t care about that - he wouldn’t accept it even if you wanted to pay him back twice the amount.”
“then why are you...” it’s the way his voice breaks at the end that makes you look up only to see a man whose eyes are a little sunken and cheeks a little hollow - almost as if he hasn’t been sleeping nor eating well because of his foolish sister, “why are you letting that woman trample all over you like this? wouldn’t it be easier to just get a divorce-”
“that woman is my mother in law, jungkook. at least, practice the same level of respect you’ve been preaching about,” you speak over him - it’s funny how taehyung once stood up against the same woman you’re standing up for, for you.
when all that follows is silence, you go on. this time, in a much demurred tone, “and it’s not about letting myself get trampled over... if mom found out you lied about something and she’s acting like mother does because she’s hurt, would you just go on with your life like nothing happened?”
it takes a moment for him to register what you said before taking on a much less hostile tone though still just as firm, “___, this is your life... i don’t know what kind of ‘happy family’ delusion you’ve been living in but i’m willing to bet all my money that it’s not taehyung that gave you those papers to sign and made you cry in the bathroom stall for thirty minutes-” he throws you look, “yeah, i saw you go into the washroom after coming out of her room. i was gonna call you but you looked like you had to take a huge dump so i waited but we know that’s not the case now.”
silence lapses between you for the umpteenth time before you stubbornly announce, “i could’ve been taking a dump - you don’t know.”
the sight of jungkook’s jaw dropping and hitting the ground is laughable, if not for the fact that he’s shaking his head five seconds later. vexed. irritated, “this is getting ridiculous - we’re going home. now.”
and he doesn’t mean the penthouse that you and taehyung shares.
shooting up, his hand grasps your wrist and he would have dragged you all the way to the car if you hadn’t protested.
“jungkook, no - i’m not going anywhere,” pulling your hand back, you stand a good one head shorter in front of your brother which doesn’t do much for your cause.
“___, if not for you then do it for mom and dad - they’re getting too old to be worrying about their one and only daughter’s marriage prospect,” he tries to coax, knowing full well your heart would wither like a flower at the mention of your parents worrisome nature - especially when your business is out in the open no matter how hard you try to hide it, “and you haven’t been answering their calls either.”
“i know, i just-” before you can even finish your sentence, a flash of garnet and bridal pink catches your eyes.
“____... jungkook, i didn’t think you’d be in korea. how are you?” taehyung’s warm baritone is laced with confusion as he stares at your brother and then at you for a sort of explanation but before you can even open your mouth, jungkook’s already has his hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, “yeah, well someone’s gotta clean up the mess you started. ___’s coming back home with me - back to her real home.”
“i’m not - stop saying that and let me go,” you tug on your wrist only to wince at the pressure of his grasp, “jungkook, you’re hurting me!”
“hey, let my wife go,” taehyung takes a peaceful step forward, “we can talk ab-”
“oh no,” the laugh tumbling out of jungkook’s mouth drips with malice, “no, see, you lost your knight in shining armor privilege after you quite literally lied to our faces about how you’ll take care of my sister until ‘death do you apart’ when all it took was mommy dearest pretending to get sick while everyone labels my sister a gold-digging wh-”
you taking a step forward with a balled fist, is completely instinctive and you would say taehyung prancing towards the dark haired man with a fist that actually hits the mark, was also instinct-driven. except that he probably has better aim and his punches hurt more than yours ever would.
the first one, you admit was satisfying but when your brother ends up on the ground with your husband throwing blow after blow, you have no choice but to intervene.
“taehyung, stop!” the shriek that echoes against the walls almost burst your eardrums. you would have believed it to be mrs. kim if not for the fact that she’s nowhere in sight and you’re the one with your hands grasping onto your husband’s arms, trying to hold him back from sending blow after blow onto your brother’s half-conscious face.
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“taehyung, don’t stop,” you frown, taking a seat next to him while swiping the ice bag off his lap before gently pressing it to his darkened jawline, “seokjin said to keep the ice on the bruise for at least an hour.”
“ahhh - ow - ow-!” the man whines, eyes screwed shut as his grits his teeth together but doesn’t recoil from your touch.
“maybe you should’ve thought twice about throwing a punch at a trained boxer,” you shake your head, lips curling into an inevitable smile.
after taehyung’s had a round of punches in, jungkook managed to flip them over so that he’s the one pinning the elder man down. the events that unfolded after that were the least bit pretty. the nurses and doctors attending nearby patients rushed to the two struggling men and then there’s you, shifting the shouting to your brother to “god damn it, jungkook! stop being a dick!”
it took five men - doctors and just-arrived guards alike - to pry your brother off your husband who still tried to get a punch in and was held back by seokjin who finally arrived at the scenes with half a mind to knock the both of them out as he calmly orders for jungkook to be dragged into one of those empty rooms akin to the one mrs. kim is staying at.
because taehyung was the one who started the fight, seokjin decided that an ice pack would do for the taller man whilst he treats jungkook and orders the other doctors to go back to their post.
picking up the mixture of garnet and bridal pink roses, he stares at their wilted petals for the longest moment, face painted with dejection. they must have been specifically ordered for mrs. kim-
“these are for you,” your train of thoughts halts in its track at taehyung’s words. his hand levitating midair as though unsure of whether to hand the bouquet to you or toss them away, “or were,” then he captures your gaze and you don’t think you can ever find your way out of the maze he’s able to hold you captive in with just his eyes, “you deserve fresh flowers specifically plucked from its stalk - you deserve a whole garden, actually-”
“taehyung,” your free hand covers his as if to say, “they’re lovely, thank you.” placing the ice pack down, you cup both hands around the flowers, bringing them to your nose, “and they smell wonderful - i love pink roses.”
“i know,” the tiniest smile peeks from his lips, “you told me that.”
“i did?” you blink, surprised.
“at our wedding reception, you got a little tipsy and started sobbing because the roses were blush pink and not bridal pink,” the sound of his chuckles drums in your ears like hymns just like it did a year ago.
back when you were decked in an elegant off shoulder white gown after changing out of your wedding dress. you’d stood in the sidelines while your families and friends danced to their hearts’ content to the sound of the music. white champagne in your hand, the background beginning to turn fuzzy and your thoughts began to get louder.
it didn’t help that the object of your frustrations was smack dab covering every inch of the vicinity from the gargantuan rose covered backdrop, to the tiny vases in every single table.
the sob hits the air like the first raindrop. you had to clasp your hand to your mouth as if you were about to cough to hide your mouth stretching into your crying mouth - you don’t know how to explain it but your lips tend to morph into an unshapely sight whenever you cry and covering it when you feel the waterworks coming has always been second nature. as for the tears - they were concealable because the lights were dim enough.
but then there was someone next to you - he just popped up out of nowhere really and because you were standing in the darkest corner, you couldn’t pick out any defining features besides his height but you didn’t have much time to ponder on that as his question fills your eardrums, “so, how does saying goodbye to the bachelorette life feels like?”
“it’s terrible,” you’d wept some more and he shifted on his feet slightly, as though noticing the tear in your voice but luckily for him, he didn’t even have to ask because you were spilling your innermost thoughts out loud, “they- they gave me blush pink and garnet roses- i want bridal pink and garnet roses.”
“oh,” distinctively rang in your ears among the sound of instruments and joyful laughter.
then comes another input, “i didn’t know they messed up your request,” and you didn’t know why he’d sounded like he was about to murder someone.
“yeah and,” you sniffle, “- and i didn’t wanna say anything because- because i don’t wanna be that bratty bride who picks on every little detail.”
that morning, you woke up to a box full of roses and they were the lightest shade of pink. taehyung was already awake and offered to ring up breakfast for the both of you after he’d bid you a good morning and a “something came in for you.”
the gifts were prearranged to be sent to the penthouse instead of your suite but then again, there were chocolates and champagne bottles that made past the hotel doors because of its edible nature - the roses too... their fleeting livelihood seemed like you’d enjoy them better in your hotel room than a week later after you’d come back from your honeymoon.
the card didn’t even leave initials but had ‘roses for a rose’ playfully written in cursive black ink. your heart blooms a garden but your head is what makes you search for your newly wed husband, only to see him looking at you with a tender smile - one that you thought manifested because of your own involuntary smile when you’d read the note.
“i don’t think these are for us,” you could feel the frown setting into your features, causing taehyung’s own brows to furrow.
“i think these are for... me,” and so you told a tale of a woman with ambitions rather than stars in her eyes, who felt a compulsion to at least tell the truth to her husband and the stranger whom she met at her wedding. of course, omitting the teary eyed part and the blush and bridal pink roses part.
taehyung had easily chuckled while the staff set down plates of delicacies on the round meant-for-two-people-on-a-honeymoon table, saying, “he has fine taste - they’re from halls & tara,” after the staff left.
it didn’t occur to you that the h&t initials on the top right corner of the card stood for the most well known florist in seoul until he’d pointed it out, which could only mean he’d been suspicious enough to take longer than a glance at the flowers.
“do you mind if i keep them? at least, until they’re not as fresh anymore.” you quickly added the last part.
“you can keep them in a vase and have them live longer... why? are they not the shade of pink you wanted?” he blinked once, hand halting midair as he was about to take a mouthful of pancakes.
“well- no, they’re perfect actually - i love them,” you almost stutter in your haste to explain while trying to be casual about how devastated you would be if- “it’s just that... i really didn’t know him or who he was- but he obviously knew me because it’s hard not to know the lady of the day- i’m not breaching any terms-”
it’s the way the trickles of laughter filling the otherwise silent room that got you to clamp your mouth shut. the way kim taehyung looked so ethereal and majestic in the pristine black and white setting of the room.
“i don’t mind,” he’d clarified a moment later, eyes twinkling with the remnants of laughter, “i understand why he’d want to desperately send you these if only to see you smile softly like you did - you look beautiful when you smile, by the way.”
the compliment had caught you off guard and your heart might or might not have somersaulted but if there’s anything seven years of becoming a stewardess has taught you, it was to always prepare an adequate response to every situation - and at that time, kim taehyung was infamous for his quick wits and reputation with the ladies. of course, words sweet as honey would come easy for him.
“thank you,” and so were the words of gratitude on your part as you schooled a smile and dug into the pancakes your husband made.
but sitting on the black leather couch, holding onto a similar colored bouquet, you can’t help but blurt out, “that was you? i was bawling my eyes out because of some mismanagement to my husband who didn’t even recognize?” something between a disbelieving scoff and an irony-induced laugh escapes your mouth, “why didn’t you tell me?”
taehyung’s shoulder line shakes as he shrugs, hand going up to scratch the back of his head as he drops his gaze, as if searching for the answer only to look back up into your eyes with a, “i didn’t think you’d be as happy if you knew it was me,” his gaze falters, like a bud of fear blooming behind his irises,
“why wouldn’t i be?” you blink once, not quite understanding where he’s coming from.
that is, until a small smile slips onto his lips and it’s heartbreaking to witness and even more devastating to know you’re in no place to let your arms gather him into a hug like you wish. to kiss his forehead until his worries disappear.
he twines his fingers with yours, thumbing the diamond on your fourth finger, “i’m sorry that i took away your choice to marry for love - that’s a bit corny isn’t it?” he scrunches his nose and you can’t help but giggle, “it’s not just some short term contract since we both agreed divorce is never in the equation,” neither of you believe in tainting the sanctity of marriage - no matter what cause it was founded upon - with separation, “but god, the things you’re going through right now - i promise i’ll make things right.”
taehyung’s eyes tend to appear in different shades along with his emotions - though you know it’s most probably the lighting. dark brown is for when he’s scrutinizing the hollow smiles and empty compliments he gets at functions. but sometimes you find yourself catching hazel.
like right now, as they capture yours and look at you as if you’re the only one he sees.
“taehyung...” you thought you knew what you wanted to say when you said his name but as you get lost in the midnight dessert of his eyes, you’re not sure if you can even muster so much as a squeak without falling apart.
and that’s when a knock reverberates into the air like thunder, forcing you to jolt away from the man until no part of you is touching any part of him.
“hey,” a somber voice greets as jungkook leans against the doorframe, “so they fixed me up and the chairman wants me gone in,” he looks down at his wrist, “two minutes and fifty-three seconds.”
blinking away the remnants of the emotions away, you stand up, giving the man a once over. his button up is marred with a trickle of deep red a few inches over his chest, hair matted and face sporting different stages of bruising. the bleeding’s stopped for the most part.
“you’ve definitely seen better days,” you announce, walking around the couch to get to where the man is rolling his eyes at.
“sorry for calling you the w-word,” that’s definitely wasn’t what you were expecting which prompts the belated, almost suspicion induced,“...okay.”
“i did that because i needed to confirm something,” he goes on, eyes flitting over your shoulder where you know your husband is staring right back, burning holes inside your brother’s head before he looks back at you, taking a full 180 in attiude, “and don’t worry about mom and dad - i’ll take care of them.”
it takes you a moment to digest his proclamation, all the whilst hyperly aware of the hand that makes its way on your lower back as a familiar dior scent fills your senses, “so you’re not gonna drag me home?” as though disbelieving the words that came out of your mouth, you add, “that’s all it takes? a few punches to the face?”
the twitch of his eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed by you. nor does the deep breath he forces himself to take at the blatant insult and insinuation of your future boxing lessons to which he warns, “don’t get any crazy ideas,” then he turns to the man next to you, “i let you hit me - let’s get that out of the way first.”
and before either you or taehyung manage to get a word in, jungkook hand comes flying to your forehead, a loud sound of skin smacking against skin echoing throughout the room as you tumble backwards with an audible “ow- hey!”, barely noticing the much larger hand that’s covering yours. inspecting the patch of skin where jungkook just flicked.
without even an apology for the uncalled for assault, he nods at something over your head, probably taehyung, “you take care of my sister, you hear me? cause there won’t be a second time.”
and then he’s gone like the wind - you would have tracked down that wind and give him a taste of his own medicine like you did when you were children. you’d jump on his back and attempt to bite a chunk of his head if your nannies didn’t pull you apart  - but right now, you couldn’t escape taehyung’s hand on your waist even if you wanted to.
“let me see,” he instructs, gently coaxing your hand to unclasp the patch of skin on your forehead so he could softly blow on it.
you stay like that, standing at the doorway with your bodies too close and taehyung refusing to unhand you until your cheeks are replaced with a different kind of heat than the anger you felt for your god forsaken brother.
“god he’s an ass - you should’ve messed up his face more,” you huff, and you don’t know why - maybe it’s the way you stomp your foot, maybe it’s the way your cheeks tend to puff when you’re feeling vindictive or maybe it’s a mystery locked in taehyung’s head that you’ll never know but his chuckles sound like hymns in your ears.
and you thought that was the end of the electrified sensation on your skin where his touch lingers until you feel a pair of the softest lips on your forehead, right where the flick was supposed to throb. a grinning taehyung looking back at you as if asking, “my nanny used to do this to me when i bump my knee against a furniture...” a flash of worry blooms in his eyes for the briefest moment before he voices his concerns, “hope the magic still works.
the sight is heartwarming. endearing even. and you can’t help smile, cheeks hot, “it does - it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
and just as you thought he’s about to release you from the torment of having your heart skip multiple beats at a time and step back, he presses another peck on your forehead. a smile gracing his features, “another one for good measure.”
it’s a surprise your legs are still holding you up with how jelly-like they’ve become.
“th-thank you.”
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mrs. kim discharged herself a week after the fight but not without standing in front of the hospital with her frilly fur coat and gucci handbag while she looks at the camera and consequently straight into the screen, “i have yet received a publicly apology for what jeon jungkook did to mine by the jeons. my taehyung couldn’t even kill a fly, let alone start a fist fight-” she shivers uncontrollably as though overcome with chills, “such a barbaric, uncivilized act can only come from-”
“you’re watching that?” a smooth baritone fills the room as a figure struts in beige slacks and oversized creme sweater, “again?”
he sits on the edge the backrest of the couch, looking down at you with an expression that makes your stomach churn. with butterflies or guilt for breaking your promise to stop checking out these articles, you don’t know.
“sorry,” you mumble, placing the ipad down a few inches from your feet as you bring your legs up against your chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, “worrying about how the press twists mother’s words comes from the plentiful of time i have on my hands after being sacked, i guess.”
it’s been a week since you’ve received your new schedule. to which you received a call right after to head to the headquarters in the heart of seoul only to be told that-
“___, you gotta understand, this whole fiasco going on with your family... it’s giving the airline a bad rep,” mr. bang leaned back against his recliner, his eyes hiding behind the beam of his glasses, “people are leaving bad reviews on the website that has absolutely nothing to do with our services but has everything to do with you and your husband.”
he meant the growing dissatisfaction upon the revelation of the artificiality of you and taehyung’s marriage.
nobody’s caught jungkook and taehyung in a video but there’d been witnesses and ‘sources’ affirming the two getting into a fistfight at the hospital. and so another record has been made in your long list of family drama.
“sir, please,” you could feel your eyebrows joining together from the sheer frustration and reality anchoring into the pit of your stomach, “i’ve been working for korean air -for seven years now- check my reconds,” hope blooms in your chest as you suggest the idea to your superior, “i’ve never been late, never had a customer complain about me, never made any mistakes prior to this-”
“it doesn’t matter what you did before this, ___,” he cut you off, voice heavy with emphasis.
but you weren’t backing out that easy, “please, it’s not fair to lay me off for something i have zero control in.”
at your wording, the man physically flinched, almost as though struck by a spear before he shook his head, denying your claims.
“you’re not fired,” he corrected, “you’re on paid leave... until everything calms down.”
it took everything in you not to let the frown slip onto your face. first it’s paid leave and then it a one month notice before they officially sack you - you’ve seen how this played out one too many times.
so you smiled, “with all due respect, mr. bang, how long is ‘until everything calms down’?”
the man’s shoulder line jolted as he shrugged, lower lip jutted out in a nonchalant nature, “that depends on how you choose to solve it, ___... i assume you are working on a solution, yes?”
it was a trick question. if you answered the affirmative, it’d be admitting what mrs. kim and almost everyone have been demanding - a divorce. if you answered no, then you’re as good as jobless.
“my husband and i are working on it,”  was all you say.
when taehyung found out later that night - he was livid. he was a phone call away from calling up mr. ji to sue the airline for discrimination. it took you stealing his phone away and running around the penthouse until you made him promise that he’d listen to you first.
he did, and you’d wanted to wait it out and see because, “there isn’t any damage to build our ground on anyway because i’m not fired yet.”
“well, dinner’s ready ” taehyung’s soft as silk voice tears you apart from your memroies, hand levitating midair until you take it, hoisting yourself up.
taehyung pushes himself off the couch, walking on the other side with your hand in his. it’s comical but endearing all at once and you giggle at how neither of you are willing to let the other go even though you’ll have to once you reach the four-people dining table.
“thank you,” you say as you lower yourself on the seat while he pushes the chair in for you.
home cooked meals have become a norm for the both of you ever since that day taehyung punched jungkook in the face. at first, you insisted that you should be the one cooking since he was injured but he stayed with you in the kitchen and you talked about your day and reminisced about your childhood and how you similarly had nannies that forbade you from coming into the kitchen.
then there was the peck on the top of your forehead he started doing a few days ago after you were sat and before he went around the table to get to his seat that’s across from you.
“did you go shopping today?” he asks in between cutting up the steak which he stole a whole plate from you into mini slices.
“yeah, with hwasa,” you nod - the woman had been all too delighted to see you after mismatched schedules and ghostly texts because of life and work getting in the way.
“the friend from high school?” taehyung surprises you yet again as he places your plate back in front of you, this time with the pieces all cut into edible bites. you’ve never mentioned hwasa to him - but it’s not a lie that she’s your closest friend from high school who got accepted into the same training programme as you at the beginning of your career.
“thank you-” you shoot him a smile before picking up the fork and knife, “and yeah, that’s her. we haven’t seen each other for months so we kind of went a little crazy with the dresses.”
he doesn’t look up when he speaks his next words which is why you have a trouble digesting them as you involuntarily blurt out a, “sorry- what?”
“the dresses you bought,” he reiterates, an amused smile on his lips - possibly because of your almost-choked state, “- can i see them?”
“oh,” clear your throat once, sipping down the red wine before chuckling nervously, “hwasa bought dresses - didn’t.”
taehyung hums, head tilting to the side as though trying to capture your avoidant gaze, “then put on whatever you bought that i saw lying on your bed - the door was open when i passed your room.”
at that moment, to say your heart quite literally crash against the floor, would be an understatement. it takes you a minute to gather yourself, another to force out a laugh as you attempt to brush the thought of taehyung seeing the black and red laces from savage x fenty hwasa adamantly insited you get after a story time on why you decided to get married to how something has definitely shifted between you and taehyung.
but no amount of gushing and squealing about made up scenarios brewing from hwasa’s little head could prepare you for what’s happening right at this moment.
“oh those?” a chuckle, “those are aren’t even worth showing.”
and just as you thought he’ll let the matter go like he would when you dismissively mention something that he inquired about, taehyung takes a full 180, eyes clouded with a sort of emotion you don’t dare delve into, “that’s for me to decide,” he takes a sip of the wine, pushing his chair back as he stands up, “i’m done,” with that, he places his plate down where geom, your mixed breen papillion and silky terrier shouts out an appreciative woof at the pleasant surprise.
patting the canine briefly, he turns to you, those clouded eyes seeping into your soul, “put them on - i’ll be waiting in my room.”
his footsteps echo against the walls as he ascends the stairs and disappears into the hallway where his room lies across from yours. it is a whole solid minute later, once you hear the door of his room click shut, that you make a beeline for the couch where your phone lies lonely.
dialing up the only person you know you can hold accountable for, you quite literally scream at the ‘hell-’ with a “hwasa, he wants me to put the lingerie on and show him!”
while your voice drips with dread, the other woman, choosing to be willfully oblivious, screams into your ears, “oh my god - oh my god. then what are you doing calling me?! go put them on!”
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and that’s how you end up holding in a breath while deliberately repeating hwasa’s not so helpful pep talk of ‘you’re the hottest’ and ‘kim taehyung will be wrapped around your fingers by the end of the night!’
“but it’s been over a year - i’m not sure if i even know how to moan!” you’d protested while pull the strap of the garter around your thigh.
that was half an hour ago.
now, you’re debating on whether to knock like you would have before you started cuddling into the other while watching tv. but before that, you’d never did anything together unless it was family dinners and gatherings.
so you opt for pushing down the handle. the sharp ‘click’ being the only announcement of your entrance. taehyung’s walls are a deep shade of maroon almost black with the lights on its lowest setting. the sound of music playing in the background barely registers in your mind as you focus your attention to the figure that’s pushing himself up from his laying down position.
you resist the temptation to run and hide under the comfort your covers - an opposed response compared to your confident stride, placing one foot after the other until you stand a good two feet away from the bed and taehyung.
“what do you think?” the smile brandished over your face is nothing like your racing heart whlist you do a little twirl- but then again, you’ve always been such an actress.
“if the world were made of diamonds, i’d choose the rose before me... because you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever laid eyes on,” you wonder how he doesn’t even blink as those words pour out of his mouth, hand finding its way in the dip of your waist. staring. admiring.
“always the charmer,” you want to curse yourself for the unoriginal come back yet taehyung doesn’t seem to notice as he lets you push him to the bed whilst his eyes undress what little piece of clothing you have on as you crawl on top of him.
your toes curl at the sound of taehyung’s excruciatingly slow exhalation - almost as though he intends for it to caress your ears and seep into your pores before settling into the pit of your core.
the sharp charm of dior fills your senses as you place kisses on his neck, tucking his flesh between your teeth ever so gently, not expecting the delectable surprise that slips out of his mouth.
who would have thought kim taehyung was a moaner?
the giggle that trickles out of your mouth is blamelessly involuntary but catches his attention nonetheless, “what?”
“oh, nothing,” you nibble on his earlobe before whispering into his ears, “just thinking of how cute you’ll look moaning for me.”
and you’ve easily add to the long list of things you won’t forgive yourself in the morning. yet you still caress his growing size through his pants, giggling when the delicious sound hits the air for the second time.
“take it out,” he whimpers after one too many teases, “please.”
“only because you said please,” the way his chin tilts to follow your lips after you pecked them doesn’t go unnoticed by you but you clasp your hand against his chest, pinning him down with a shake of your head “uh-uh, you get up when i tell you to.”
the excruciating ‘fuck’ that leaves his lips is what truly lights up the flame in the pit of your stomach. you watch as his hand goes up to run through his hair in a sexually frustrated nature but doesn’t attempt to push himself up after that.
it only takes a few pumps for the clear fluid of precum to trickle over your hand, letting you smear all over his hardened dick and causing it to glisten underneath the luminescence of the room.
sparks shoot through your core and strike your heart into an erratic rhythm when you lower yourself over him, holding the slit of the black lace undergarment apart until he’s hitting every delicious inch inside of you.
you’ve barely even started to move when you break out into a cry, falling into his arms like a puppet whose strings got cut off. the arms around you are gentle as they hold you against him until you’ve come down from your high.
by the time you push yourself up, your knees are still trembling yet you nod when he cups your cheeks and forces you to look into those concern filled eyes, “are you good?”
“i’m fine,” the sniffle is probably the last thing you need to convince him, “i lost myself for a moment.”
this time, it’s his turn to chuckle, lips curling into a smirk, “it’s completely understandable to admit that you couldn’t hold out for more than a minute because i stretched you out so good.”
you want to protest - want to gain back the control you lost when he hit that sweet spot not even, yes, as he says, a minute into taking him in. but one single thrust right against that same exact spot and you’re whimpering in utter submission and devotion.
“that’s what i thought,” that damned smirk is the last thing you see before you succumb to his every wishes and command until you find yourself with a strong arm banded over your stomach, another arm reaching for a pillow and puffing it up before you feel yourself being gently lowered face flushed into it - the smallest gesture of tenderness that you didn’t expect to witness when you decided to tease him in the beginning.
the yelp when taehyung’s hands slip under the strap of the garter, doesn’t even manage to form fully when a moan replaces it as he yanks the garter and consequently, your ass against him, forcing you to swallow his entire length in one stroke.
“god, you’re so big,” if you were a little sober and a whole lot more conscious, you would have added that into the list of things you said that you would cringe at in the morning.
but you’re already one orgasm down in the foreseeable long list of orgasms that kim taehyung promises you as he sinks into you, moaning out your name like a holy mantra.
“i know you love it,” he agrees oh so innocently for someone who’s about to thrust into you like a godless being.
five strokes in and you’re cursing and screaming out in pleasure, hands gripping onto the duvet for dear life as you feel you convulse into a state of toe-curling euphoria. the way taehyung stops moving and trails down butterfly kisses down your back until the tensed muscles in your lower abdomen simmers down into pleasured twitches, doesn’t go by you.
“you can move now,” another sniffle, but this one has completely and irrevocably succumbed to your rawest desires.
it’s the soft chuckle and the one last peck on your left shoulder blade that has your heart stuttering. ungodly opposite to the way he moves his hips as he thrusts into you without so much as a warning - your last two orgasms were just preambles. ones out of the many that night that has you writhing and moaning in pleasure. some of which were incited by sides of you, you didn’t know existed.
the last thing you recall is taehyung gathering you in his arms like he couldn’t bear to be apart from you even in his sleep now that he’s had a taste. it’s endearing and daunting all at once. because for the first time since your marriage, you’re afraid of losing him.
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a few days after that, you’re tying away on your macbook when taehyung comes home looking less like the man you knew. his hair, disheveled from having run his hand through them more than his hair gel allows. his eyes, carrying a sort of weight that latches onto him like parasites - or maybe that’s just the papparazzo that you noticed have been following you around. their numbers have decreased considerably after the rumor of taehyung hiring a team of lawyers which was no rumor at all.
it was the morning after you woke up with tingly legs barely able to function like it should and muscles sore but a sort of fullness in your chest when you noticed the man whose arms are wraped around you like a protective cocoon as he faintly snored away.
then came the muted sound of your phone from the other side of the hallway where your room door beckons you into its domain. it wasn’t as obnoxiously loud since it was at least twenty feet away and you would have ignored it and gone back to bed if not for the short interval signaling the person calling had finally reached the mailbox or hung up on their own. that was, before they hit call for the second time.
slipping out of taehyung’s arms, you trudged to your room with half a mind to give whoever this caller is a piece of your mind - god’s sake, the flashy red digits on your alarm clock stares at you at 5:23 in the morning.
“this better be good, hwasa or i swear-” before you can even finish the woman is already screaming into your ear like she’s being chased by an axe murderer.
“oh my god, oh my god - have you seen the news?!” except no woman chased by a murderer would sound this exhilarated, she went on before you could even get a “no one in their right mind would be checking the news at ass crack-” out.
“oh shoot, it’s still 5 something in korea, isn’t it?” she gasped - if you weren’t on paid leave, you’d be in hong kong, probably sharing rooms and getting tipsy in some club there, “but anyway, kadore’s chairman is suing insight, pullbbang and other websites for slander!” she shrieked.
"what?” you could feel the muscles on your face pulling into a contorted confusion but
after hanging up and telling hwasa you were going to look into the matter some more, you’d come up with multiple articles stating a similar fact as your overly enthusiastic best friend did. still in denial, you’d confronted your husband about it- he was still sleeping soundly when you strutted in and shook him up to which he confessed, eyes droopy and face puffy. the sight was so foreign to you because you were used to seeing him fresh and suited up but you’d found yourself making a little space in your heart for barely-just-woken-up-taehyung to reside in.
first came anger - you didn’t ask for him to do this, “what would everyone think if i went to you crying about a little bit of criticism for something i did do?” then came confusion because what exactly did you do that was so horrendously heineous to warrant these websites to write such malicious statements about you?
taehyung had seen every flash of emotions that pooled in your eyes and tugged on your fingers - you weren’t sure if he’d meant it but it successfully pulled you from drowning in your own thoughts, “i told you i’d make things right - these people won’t be able to say another word about you unless it’s the truth- that you’re a hardworking, amazing woman who deserves everything she has and yes,” he fixed you the most tender, sleepy smile “that includes the money i make - what’s the point of working if i can’t even provide my wife with the best?”
taehyung tosses the beige tuxedo onto the handrest of the couch adjacent to where you’re sitting with one leg up in nothing but a loose fitted sweater that hangs off your left shoulder. the half empty wine glass lies untouched on the coffee table since you’d put it down.
with a thump, he sinks himself into the leather material of the couch, hands cupping his face, as though if he rubs it hard enough, the deadset frown would go away.
before you know it, you’re padding over to the couch he’s on, hands finding their ways onto his shoulders, massaging the noticeable tension in his muscles until a grateful sigh slips out of his mouth, hand guiding your own to his lips where he presses a kiss on your knuckles.
only when you go around to take the spot next to him, hand smoothing out his hair, do you finally say, “is it the board again?”
mina has been keeping you updated on the turbulence that was caused by your fraudulent marriage being exposed. the chairman seat became taehyung by default when he got married as per his father’s will. but the board members have been vocal about abrogating his rights to succeeding kadore.
“there’s talk about votes demoting me to director,” he’s never sound so fragile - in taehyung’s long list of fluctuating interest from women and men to art and sculptures and to yatches and sports cars, kadore is probably the only thing he’s ever taken seriously.
you would know - seeing him decked in armani with soft wavy hair contrasting his strong features, weren’t your only reason for accepting his proposal of marriage. it had more to do with the way he spoke about the company. in a dimly lit room just like now, with a wine glass in his hand and the cityscape underneath that gave an illusion of stilled fireflies scattered all across the city, taehyung had spoken of his unforgivable regrets. the deals he’d let pass by. the merges he’d settled with instead of aiming higher. the brands he didn’t reach out to.
those regrets birthed fears and those fears were what made him even entertain the notion of a beneficial marriage.
or as the board likes to call it, an atrociously wickedly schemed marriage.
“they won’t have a ground to depose you to a director’s position if they can’t provide a solid reason,” you say and he blinks, clueless, hopeless.
it’s almost as if you’re facing a whole different man.
“what do you mean?”
“i’m talking about us doing what we do best,” you fix him a smile - one that probably needs a little convincing and grounding but a smile nonetheless, “we show them that the kims aren’t to be messed with,” you pause, letting the silence settle into brimming suspense before finally saying, “it’s been awhile since we’ve made a public appearance together, hasn’t it? how does lunch sound like?”
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and so goes your multiple appearances in the most top notch restaurant together. the lack of chauffeur wasn’t intentional but helpful nonetheless to prove that the chairman was hopeless and irrevocably mad for his wife that he’d drive all the way to wherever she was to pick her up and then drive them to the designated restaurant instead of the convenience of meeting at said restaurant from wherever you both were prior to that.
then there was the hand holding, hip grabbing and not going a minute without smiling and giggling about what the other said. to outsiders, it would have looked as if things hadn’t been all that different - except you’d finally came out of your 1 billion doller cave after the whole ‘fiasco’ with your families. but it was the little hand kisses and forehead pecks in between taehyung making mini runs to get to your side to open your car door.
and the ‘how was your day’s and which are followed by a ‘you’re still deadset on working, huh?’s each time you told him about your in-the-work resume since you’re ‘at the risk of getting a notice of resignation any time soon’.
“what if you started your own business? i could buy a whole building in nonhyeon-dong that you could make as your headquarters?” he offers in between twirling the pasta around his fork after you insisted that- “my job is the only thing that i’ve got going on for me to prove that i’m not a gold-digger that everyone thinks i am.”
“i was thinking more like travelling from place to place like...” you shoot him a ‘you know’ smile before adding, “a cabin crew.”
“one of korean air’s biggest shareholders are letting go of her stock because her color pencil business isn’t doing so well these days,” he nods, deeply contemplative, “they’re gonna be sacking a few employees if they don’t get buyers by the next two months,” he surmises with a concluding nod to which you end up laughing and almost choking on your food.
picking up the water on your right, you quickly gulp it down before clarifying as to why you found his statement so funny that you’d risk your esophagus in the process, “no, tae,” that nickname is also one of the little things that just happens - you don’t miss the tuck in the corners of his lips when it slips off your tongue, “it’s sweet of you to want to buy me a share of the airline i’m working for but that’s the thing, it’s your money,” you reach out for his hand, smiling when he meets yours halfway.
a warm pressure engulfs your hand as he squeezes briefly, “and i told you, what’s mine is yours.”
“likewise,” you fix him a grateful smile, “but i like flying. i like being a cabin crew - on top of holding onto my job to prove people wrong, of course.”
the longest pause hovers over you like a grey clouds with taehyung’s beautiful but contemplating eyes holding you captive. as though trying to take you out part by part, trying to figure you out.
“then, what would you like me to do?” the question catches you off guard, like being hit by a wild baseball even though you’re walking right next to a baseball field, “you’ve always been so good at taking care of yourself - when you broke down in front of me... at the hospital... i didn’t know what to do-” his lips quiver just the slightest bit, almost as though holding back invisible tears, “tell me what to do. because it feels like everything i do isn’t the slightest bit helpful. ”
all of a sudden, the sands of time seem to have stopped, levitating midair within the dip of the hourglass. it’s daunting but heartbreaking at the same time - the sight of raw fear and uncertainty that’s pooling within taehyung’d eyes like unmoving river - you never knew your attempts to hold up your values reflects as a declaration of nonessential to taehyung’s own attempts to reach out to you.
“i don’t need you - to fight my battles, to solve my problems for me - though i’m immensely grateful that you did,” you say after what feels like an eternity, “but i want you so... stay as you are, supporting me like you’re doing now.”
“i don’t know if that counts as support - i’m not doing anything,” he counters, eyes downcasted until you reach out your other hand to cover his that’s already holding your left hand.
“you are - you never invalidated my feelings of wanting to work, you encouraged me to do bigger things and that means you believe in me - maybe i will take up that offer in the future but right now, i want to keep doing what i always have been,” you fix him a smile, “and i want to do it with you by my side.”
the tiniest of smile that slips onto his face tells you that his heart is still in a state of unrest. unconvinced. but he’s trying as he nods, “if that’s what you want,” and you thought that’s the end of it. until the foreshadowing “but,” that comes a second later, “i’m not gonna stop worrying and trying to fix things - we’re married, your problems are my problems too.”
the chuckle escapes your mouth signifies the good natured jest of your next words as you summon your hands back, already missing the warmth of his much larger ones around you, “well we weren’t exactly on that term until just recently.”
a shadow casts itself over taehyung’s handsome face as he picks up his fork, “that’s something i’ll regret for the rest of my life - not getting to know you beyond the contract sooner.”
“everyone makes mistakes,” you shrug before taking a peek at his expression as you mention a certain free spirited woman, “besides, you were too caught up with jeongyeon on our first year of marriage.”
she had been one of the few people who’d managed to bring out a side of taehyung you never knew existed.
boyish. bratty. someone who actually bicker and whines about the littlest things and everything that was on the opposite spectrum the crisp, suit-wearing, slicked back hair, charming man you married. sometimes, when you go out to dinners or the little moments when you find yourselves alone while attending functions, you see glimpses of that playful, boyish side of him. the human side of him.
over time, you realize that that’s also part of what makes taehyung... well, taehyung. it’s just only recently that you start seeing more than glimpses of these sides behind closed doors.
the way his eyes widen is enough for you to know that you’ve hit the nail right on its head. if the incomprehensible stuttering isn’t, “that... i was... we didn’t-”
“i know,” you fix him a jesting smile, “you may be a certified charmer for the most part but you’re not a homewrecker, tae.”
lunch goes on with you talking about how your father and brother are thrilled to have you and taehyung over for your monthly dinner. to which the man was partly confused and partly shivered in his seat at the thought of sitting down at a table with two of your favorite men in the world no doubt shooting him daggers while you’re not watching - or pretend that you don’t notice.
“i can’t avoid father forever,” he laments, finally giving into his fate as you walk out the restaurant, “and i have a lot of owning up to do to your family.”
“as do i,” you hum in agreement once before murmuring a ‘thank you’ as he holds the car door open after tipping the valet.
it’s only five minutes into the ride, once the car rolls to a stop at a red light does he turn to you, “you know, you don’t have to... with mom, reconciliation is a two way thing and she...” you notice the way his grip tightens around the wheel, eyes darkening as he breathes in, grounding himself “- she even made you file for divorce.”
the papers she’d given you that day still lied in your drawer, hidden away from taehyung’s pyromaniac hands. you’d caught him almost setting them on fire when you he found it lying on the counter after he’d returned home. all because spent a good chunk of the afternoon staring at it before leaving it to take a hot bath, not realizing taehyung would be home any time soon. ever since then, he hadn’t been on speaking terms with mrs. kim. turned down offers for dinners and luncheons, as he had directly told her in front of you through a phone call, “...not until you apologize to ___ first.”
“tae, mother was hurt by our lies and i understand why, i can’t promise i’ll be as accepting if i found out the daughter-in-law i cherished so much didn’t marry my son for love like i thought they did,” you lightly pat his hand that’s on the gear but instead he captures your fingers between his and guide them to his lips as he traps you within those beautiful eyes.
“you’re too kind for your own good, you know that?” there they are again, hazel underneath the light. but clouded with a sort of emotion you can’t pinpoint.
but before you can even muster a word, his eyes are already focused on the road as the car propels itself forward. but he doesn’t let go of your hand. he keeps it twined with his between yours and the gear. almost as if he didn’t want to be apart from you if he could help it. and neither could did you as you rub tiny motions into the back of his hand.
in your defense, you’ve stolen a precious gem from her that no money or gold could ever replace. and no matter how much you cherish the bond that formed after hours spent on shopping, tea times and mother-daughter (in-law) vacations, you’re not kind enough to unwrap him from your little fingers.
a smile curls on your lips as you guide taehyung’s hand to yours, placing a kiss on his knuckles and watching as his own lips tuck at the corners.
you’ll just have to make it up to mother some other way.
x
note. if you enjoy this then please leave a comment either below or in my inbox! and check out the other members’ installments to the series filed under ‘verse’ on top!
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hansolmates · 5 years ago
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the proposal (m)
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banner done by the ammmahhzzing @eerieedits​
summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. pairing; editor!Jungkook x assistant!reader (f) genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always w.c; 20.1k of endless banter and koo hiding his romantic side a/n; yeah, it’s almost summer. But i think we need a lil holiday magic in our lives! I rewatched the proposal this weekend and whipped this up. Why is koo so gosh darn easy to write? This is my longest fic since i wrote maze runner back in 2014!! i rec this extension to get fully immersed in 2pov! Enjoy and pls tell me if there’s any errors im too poopied to proofread it again drabbles; 01
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“When I hired you, you basically signed a contract that said you’d do anything for me.” 
“Yeah, Jeon. I did. That meant like, getting you coffee or working late hours—normal work stipulations,” you can feel the hair on your scalp growing thinner, “not commit fucking fraud!” 
Your boss looks moreso frustrated than you are, but you cease to care. Jeon Jungkook has been nothing but a thorn in your side since your employment at Big Hit Publishing two years ago. Being a budding author who wanted to graduate from online sites and freelancing, you accepted the job as the editor-in-chief’s assistant in the hopes of getting your first book published. 
However, your dreams of being an editor are quickly dissipating, especially when Jungkook corners you this afternoon and announces that he may have left America during the time his work visa was still processing. He may have to give over his editor-in-chief position because there’s no way he can get a work visa processed in time. As a result of this information, he may have told his supervisors that you seduced him on a late night one year ago, and you two fell in love and have been secretly engaged ever since. 
Because y’know, your citizenship to this country is an asset to the company. 
“We didn’t have to go to Norway to PR Emma Watson’s autobio,” you huff, fingers going pale from how hard you were gripping your iPad. Jungkook is an esteemed workaholic, and you have no idea where it stems from. You remember that trip to Oslo, Jungkook insisting that you and him both go to make sure everything goes smoothly.
“You weren’t complaining when we went to that restaurant with the open bar.” he runs a hand through his coiffed hair, making the pomade untack from its style. “You got so drunk that Emma held you while you cried about global warming.” 
Wholly unamused, you frown. “Jungkook, can you please take this seriously?”
“I’m taking this seriously, you’re not the one who’s about to be deported in two weeks!” Jungkook hisses, face dangerously close to yours. Not that anyone would know what he’s saying, but you can tell from his defenses that he genuinely is nervous. 
“You wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew your Visa!” 
“I wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew my Visa!” 
At least twenty pairs of eyes are watching your confrontation, probably making their own conclusions as to what you two were fighting about again. Curse this office for having full-walled windows, you often feel like an ant in a plastic farm. Your work relationship is an anomaly to the rest of the staff. Before you started working at Big Hit, Jungkook’s assistants did not last long. Within the first week of working, you understood why. 
Jungkook whirls around his desk, glaring at the glass doors as he puts himself between the staff and you. “If you don’t marry me,” he says lowly, close enough for his hot breath to fan your face, coupled with his fresh-scented cologne. It annoys you how good he smells. “You’ll also be replaced because they want to give the my position to fuckin’ Karen of all people,” you fight the twitch of your lips. The only thing you two mutually agreed upon is the hatred of his co-editor, Karen. “All of the late nights we’ve worked together, the gallons of coffees you consumed, putting up with my shit, your dreams of becoming an author,” his eyes flicker to the way the grip in your iPad trembles, “will go down the drain and turn to shit. Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.” 
Pretending to be unfazed, you bat your lashes, “So are you saying, you need me?” 
“For fuck’s sake—”
“Ah-ah, Jungkook. I’m not going to ask you to get on one knee, but you should at least tell me how much you need me.” 
You assume with great confidence that the only reason you’re kept on Jungkook’s payroll is because you’re not afraid to stand up to Jungkook’s bullshit. He looks positively disgusted at the mere thought of paying you an iota of a compliment. You’d say on average, you get half a compliment a month from Jungkook. You say half because he’ll compliment you, then downplay it with whatever flaw he can fabricate to get under your skin. 
He loosens his lavender paisley tie, annoyed. “Fine. I need you. I need you because you’re the only one who knows me well enough to be my wife. You’re the only woman I’ve had full conversations with in two years and knows all my dietary restrictions, favorite books, foods, and hobbies. By process of elimination, you are my best candidate.” 
“Romantic,” you roll your eyes, “I guess I do,” you push him away with a finger to his chest, “but I want a raise. And after we finish Sorn and Mark’s project, I want you to read my novel.” 
“Done and done.” 
“Well Jeon, I guess you’ve wifed me up with your ways of seduction.” you muse sardonically, feeling more upset for yourself than anything. 
“Fantastic,” he sighs, finally throwing his tie across the desk and plopping in his armchair. “Cancel the call with Janet, call PR about Irene Kim’s interview on Ellen, and order me a medium rare steak from J.J. Bittings with a side of brussels.” 
“Right,” you mutter under your breath as you pull up your checklist, as if you didn’t just give away your life to the Devil incarnate. 
Jungkook’s back is already facing you, focusing on his computer displaying two new manuscripts. “Oh, and on your way to J’s don’t forget to pick up your ring at Saks.”
“Bitch, you’re asking me to pick up my fake wedding ring?” 
Unbothered, he shrugs. You see the planes of his shoulders stretch beneath the blazer, because he’s deemed this conversation long over and he has work to do. “Yeah, but it’s real diamonds.” 
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You’ve been seeing red for days. 
While the rock on your ring finger is indeed beautiful because Jungkook has impeccable taste, it drags you down and arouses the elephant in the room everytime you show up for work. 
You get enough stares on the daily, and you were just getting used to the looks of pity and sympathy for working under Jungkook, but now there are only snickers and playful winks as you trudge down the cubicles every morning. Everyday feels like the runway at a shitshow, and you are the headliner. 
Taehyung clapped you none-too-hard on the back when you showed up to work the next morning, congratulating you on the engagement. “Can’t believe you’re fuckin’ the big boss!” 
The rest of the staff poke their eyes out of their cubicles like Digletts, and you shush them, using your hand to make them sink down. 
Coffee is spilling down your shirt thanks to him, and you reach for tissues in his cubicle. “Can you not say it like that, please?” 
“Oh, come on. I heard from the supervisors Jungkook went on about how you seduced him late at night and took charge,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows approvingly, and you fight the urge to not throw up your coffee in his face. “How do you keep it so professional? Or do you save all that pent-up energy for after hours?” 
“You disgust me,” you grimace, stepping out of his cubicle and immediately regret wasting your five-minute break conversing with the typist.
Striding back into Jungkook’s office, he doesn’t hesitate to rattle off the next items on today’s agenda. He barely looks at you when you stride in, too focused on whatever corrections he’s slashing in red ink. 
“Did you get Taemin’s second draft?” 
“No, and I told him that if he can’t get me the draft by tonight he won’t get a publishing deadline and the number of copies published will be decreased by a third.” 
“And Taehyung’s author agreed to our stipulations?” 
“Of course, she’d be dead not to.”  you mutter, “she’s a nineteen year old Influencer, what would she know?” 
“Exactly, that’s why we milk it out as long as we can.” Jungkook throws the first draft in a large, intimidating pile, mixing in with all the others like a needle in a haystack. “Which is why it’s important we snag dinner with her this weekend, we can really—”
“What, this weekend?” your sense of equilibrium cracks, and you walk forward to put his hands on his desk. “I took this coming week off for Christmas. I’ve planned this for months.” 
“I know.”
“I can’t just cancel my flight! I saved up for that!”
“And?” Jungkook brushes off your fury like a piece of lint, “I’m Korean. Christmas is a fake holiday for me.” 
“You can’t just tell me I can’t go home to my family, it’s the fucking holidays!” 
“Why not, I’ve done it before. Remember on Valentine’s day when I told you the only date you have is a date with Kwon Boa’s publicist? Or on Secretaries Day when I argued that you don’t feel appreciated by society anyway and therefore why bother taking one extra day off? Or during Easter when your family screamed in my office on speakerphone that you should quit—”
“Okay,” no need to be reminded of how much you’ve wasted your life for this man, “but this is different. I’ve already bought plane tickets and this holiday is special. It’s a whole family reunion in the Poconos and we’ve reserved over five houses to fit all of us! I can’t just ditch!” 
“But I need you!” he replied just as hotly, in a tone that reminded you so many times of how tethered you are by this man. Two years have gone by, and the only thing that kept those strings together is the constant ache in getting your first novel published. “With all the marriage stuff and stupid extentions we had to make on these writers there’s no way we can get everything done before winter ends!” 
“You’ve done it before, why can’t you just ask Taehyung to assist—”
“Trouble in paradise?” 
A chill travels up your spine, and you and Jungkook exchange panicked eye contact. A tiny, pretty blonde lady struts in the room like it's hers, plopping a fruit basket atop Jungkook’s manuscripts. 
“If by paradise you mean our relationship, then no.” Jungkook’s the first to recover, meeting you at your side and stretching an arm around your waist. “I’d say work-wise things are getting a little rough, but nothing we can’t handle. We’re a team, after all.” 
“I just wanted to stop by as I was in the neighborhood,” the woman says, making herself comfortable in a leather seat reserved for guests. “Congratulations again on your engagement.” 
You tack on a smile, squeezing Jungkook’s arm a little too hard, but it’s enough to make the lady in front of you smile back. “What brings you here, Taeyeon?” 
Kim Taeyeon is Jungkook’s immigration liaison, AKA the person responsible for making sure you’re not breaking the law. She’s a pretty thing, with eyes sharp but a smile that’s soft and deceiving. 
“It’s just a shame you two have to rush a civil wedding,” Taeyeon sighs, looking at the window overlooking the city. 
“Ah, it takes some of the planning stress off my back, really.” you force a laugh, tugging Jungkook to sit on the couch opposite her. “At least one thing is done. The thought of planning a whole wedding with over two-hundred people is so stressful.” 
You weren’t really going to have a white wedding with Jungkook (however you may have entertained the thought, which is reflected in your Google search history) but you had to keep up the ruse that you were. A civil wedding in two weeks, then a quickie divorce a year later. 
“I know! My wedding was a real mess let me tell you, straight out of a movie!” Taeyeon is certainly the type of person to make you feel at ease, so at ease that it’s simple for you to melt your front. “But besides the point, are you two doing anything special for the holidays?” 
“Ah, well I bought a flight to meet my family in the Poconos,” you start, trying not to succumb to your nervous habit of wringing your fingers. You grab Jungkook’s hand as a reprieve. 
“And you’re not going?” Taeyeon’s gaze snaps, yes snaps, to Jungkook. 
You try to step in, realizing your flaw. “We’ve just been so swamped with work, all the immigration stuff and with these book delays Jungkook suggested he stay behind—” 
“But we’ve decided to prioritize our personal life and enjoy Christmas with our family,” Jungkook swoops in, threading his fingers between yours. He flashes Taeyeon a smile, and from the way his face lights up and his nose crinkles, you could’ve mistaken it to be genuine. “I’ve never experienced a big family Christmas, y’know. I’ve missed snowboarding too, I used to do it a lot in highschool.” 
“Oh, that’s just so sweet!” Taeyeon cooes, clasping her hands together. “Do send some pictures when you come back!” 
“Of course,” Jungkook stands up and attempts to leave Taeyeon out. You follow in tow, She obliges easily, mentioning something about just wanting to check in and she also has work to do. 
“Also,” Taeyeon’s head flickers to the people sitting outside Jungkook’s office. “You should manage those workers out there,” she looks at you, sympathetic. “Apparently, they didn’t peg you as the type of person to sleep their way to the top. And that’s just what I heard from walking down the hall once!” she laughs, tinkling brighter than a windchime, but you just tighten the grip on Jungkook’s palm. “Such a childish assumption. Things can be much more complicated.” 
She tips a “happy holidays” off her shoulder, and you both are smiling like the loving couple you are. As soon as the elevator doors close and Taeyeon is really gone, Jungkook moves to let go of your hand, but you hold him in your grasp. 
“She’s onto us,” you snap, tugging him closer to you so your co-workers wouldn’t read your lips. 
“Don’t you think I know that?” he bites back. He looks offendingly at the fruit basket adorning his desk. 
“What if we get caught, Jungkook?” you start to spiral, feeling your deepest fears crawl to the forefront of your brain. You’ve done extensive Google research on commiting fraud, and if you do get caught, Jungkook will never be able to come back to this country and you’ll have a fine of up to $250,000. Your boss doesn’t pay you nearly enough to get by with that kind of debt. “We’ll ruin this company, and our lives, and any hope of being published or credible.” 
“Hey, relax,” Jungkook whispers in your ear, the tone oddly comforting. He pulls you into his arms, and you barely have a chance to recover when he squeezes you extra tight around your waist. Jungkook only ever hugs you when doing PR, and even then it’s an awkward half-hug. Hell, he never hugged you on your birthday. “This is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna book my flight to the Poconos, bring some manuscripts so we can work remotely, and no one will ever know.” 
You sigh into his arms, nodding tiredly. It feels nice to be hugged like this. His arms are strong and warm, and you feel small and protected. It’s been a while since you’ve felt like that. Maybe Jungkook did have a heart under all that muscle. 
“I’m putting up a good show, aren’t I?” he says, and you feel your heart drop just a little. Disappointed, but not surprised. 
From your view facing the cubicles, you see at least half the employees comically bugged with  heart eyes at you, enamored by your fake relationship. 
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“Do not stretch your long-ass legs on this plane, Jeon,” you nudge your smaller leg away from your section of leg room, “Jesus, we’re flying economy!” 
It scares you how little you fought against Jungkook joining you for the winter holiday. It is the logical decision after all, Taeyeon is on your trail about your sudden engagement and you both needed to keep up the ruse. That includes going on family vacations. Also, the fact that Jungkook works through Christmas because he doesn’t celebrate it does make you feel a little bad. You can’t remember the last time the man took a vacation. 
The man in question barely moves at your weak attempt, and stretches his leg even further across your seat. “Sorry, babe,” he says, fishing around his seat for the included blanket. 
“It’s fine, Kookie.” You reply sweetly, and decide to kick off your shoes to drape a leg over Jungkook’s thighs, “you’re like a portable footrest!” 
He looks absolutely insulted at your objectification, but smartly decides to choose his battles and lets you keep your position. Tucking himself in with a scratchy blanket he waves you off, “Whatever, just wake me up when we arrive.” 
“What, no.” you pull up your iPad, shoving the note entry in his face. “I know everything about you, and yet you know nothing about me. I made this easy on you and just wrote everything down. You just have to read it.” 
“Seriously? I’ve known you for over two years, I’m sure I know enough about you.” 
“Really, then how do I like my coffee?” 
“Uh… hot?” 
You give him a look and he knows. With a sigh he grabs the iPad from your hands. Within seconds he’s giving you another dirty look, as if he’s skimming a conspiracy novel. 
“You know all this random shit about me?” Jungkook asks, scrolling down as to what feels like your life story. 
“Yes, because unlike you, I listen when you talk.” 
“Fine. What’s my favorite type of weather?” 
“A warm and sunny day, which correlates to your favorite kind of date which is walking along the beach at sunset. Cliché much?” 
“Okay, rude. Who’s my favorite artist?” 
“You like a little bit of everything, but since seventh grade you’ve been pining for IU. In the office, you like to sing along to Lauv and Hozier.” 
“Favorite movie?” 
“The Marvel Series. But you really like 5 Centimeters Per Second, you like the romance.” 
“And how do you know my favorite anime movie is 5 Centimeters Per Second? I’m pretty sure I’ve never told you that.” 
“Jeon, when we were promoting Momo Hirai’s self-help book at Anime Expo you were gone for two and a half hours at 1:50 sharp.” your boss’ Adam’s apple bobs and he swallows thickly at your admonition. “And low and behold, you gave yourself thirty minutes’ time to line up early because when I checked the schedule Makoto Shinkai had a panel on ‘The Otaku’s Perspective on Romantic—”
“Alright alright, I get it.” Jungkook slumps in his seat, as comfy as it can get with your legs draped around him and a seat at the far end of the plane. You know he’s trying to hide a blush, and you feel proud for making him a little flustered. “You’re lucky I’m a fast reader.” 
The plane ride goes relatively fast, with Jungkook asking quick questions about your family and other random things. It’s like playing a game of 20 Questions, instead it’s the final boss battle with 200 questions and if he doesn’t get them all right, the penalty is deportation. 
When you land, you’re both stiff and glazed over. Once you exit the terminal, Jungkook ditches you for the bathroom and says he’ll meet you at the luggage pickup. You give yourself a few moments, gearing yourself up for the long week ahead of you. At the luggage pickup, you see a tall man watch the revolving conveyor belt with interest. Either that, or he’s zoning out. 
“Joonie!” you cry, nearly dropping your phone upon seeing your big brother. He’s dressed comfortably in a grey sweat ensemble, as if he rolled out of bed and came straight to the airport. 
A bright grin takes over his face, and he doesn’t hesitate to smush your body against his. Under his tall frame you sway, your toes barely swiping the ground. “You’re alive!” he cheers, pulling back and holding your shoulders to get a real look at you. “I can see you’ve gained a little weight, eyes are a little dark, but I’m glad the Devil let you go. I still can’t forgive him for making you skip out on Jin’s wedding.” 
You don’t appreciate the way that Namjoon picks and prods at your exhaustion, but you know he means well. While he does not know your boss by face and name, he had enough artilerary from the billions of phone calls to learn about the Devil and the havoc he’s wreaked upon your life.
When you don’t respond he gets the cue that you do not want to talk about work this week, and he smacks his lips together. “But nothing a little R&R can’t fix! The ski resort nearby has a really nice outdoor jacuzzi and we could set an appointment for facials if you’d like. Or we could do absolutely nothing and turn into baked potatoes and watch movies until our eyes burn up.” 
“Both would be great,” you smile softly, catching two familiar suitcases make their rounds on your flight’s conveyor belt. You grab your pink luggage with one hand, and Jungkook’s black chrome one with your other. 
“So, where’s the new beau?” Namjoon rocks back and forth on his heels, hoping to get a glimpse of the mystery boy you mentioned you’d be bringing as of two days ago. 
“He really had to go to the bathroom,” you squint your eyes to make out the newcomers exiting the dropoff area. “Oh, there he is. Kook!” 
Like a goddamn model, he struts in your field of vision like nobody’s business. Unlike you who stayed in your apartment all day before leaving, Jungkook decided to spend a few hours at Big Hit in the morning to tie up most of the loose ends before your trip. He’s talking to what you assume to be is a client, noting the way his brow furrows as he clutches his phone with a tight hold. He’s changed out of his tie and leather oxfords, but he’s dressed crisply in a dark button up and blazer ensemble, still wholly overdressed for a family reunion. 
Namjoon starts behind you, “He looks...” 
“Handsome?” you goad, elbowing him, “Charismatic? Undeniable presence?” 
“Hard.” 
You don’t know what to make of that adjective, and you subtly shrink further in your jacket as you mull over the implications of his word choice. 
Jungkook steps up to the two of you, ending his call. His eyes float between you and your brother, and he manages to put two and two together. “Hey man,” Jungkook gives a practiced smile, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, I’ve heard lots of things about you.” 
“Good things, I hope.” Namjoon chuckles, returning the handshake. “I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, though. Can’t wait to get to know you this week.” 
“Looking forward to it,” Jungkook takes his luggage and Namjoon grabs yours, leading you two out to his minivan. While Namjoon is preoccupied with getting the car started, Jungkook looks at you as if he’s already regretting making the trip down. “This girl has two braincells to her name. I just got off the phone with Sorn’s publicist.” 
“What trouble can an influencer do?” you reply in disbelief. 
“Exactly, influencing is the trouble,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “she did some mukbang and now she’s in the hospital for food poisoning.” 
“Ah, don’t get too worked up,” you help him lug your suitcases in the trunk. You spot Namjoon subtly eyeing you two from the rear mirror. Pressing a thumb between his brows, you make work to melt away the 11-shaped stress lines on his forehead. “Let’s just send her a Lush gift basket and she’ll be fine.” 
You ignore the way Jungkook’s gaze lingers on you longer than needed, running over to your seat at shotgun. 
The inside of his car smells like bergamot and lemon, and the sweet, vulnerable side of you wants to cry over how much you’ve missed your brother’s scent. It’s been way too long. 
Once you’re all safely in the car and driving Namjoon says, “So, are you going to hide the engagement ring or give the family a collective heart attack?” 
You tense, hands automatically floating to the teardrop diamond weighing heavily on your ring finger. The story that you two contrived about your relationship isn’t too complicated, but complex enough that it seems convincing. Instead of being your boss, Jungkook is your Literary Agent who gives you referrals to new and upcoming authors. You working closely together and bonding over the stresses of the publishing world, have kept a secret relationship under wraps for over a year to avoid any unprofessionalism or favoritism. 
“I was thinking about that the whole ride, actually,” you twirl the metal back and forth, watching it gleam in the light. “Mom and dad know, but I don’t wanna lie to the rest of my family. They’ll freak out because it’s the first time they’re meeting Kook and we’re already engaged. It’s just a location thing, y’know. You guys don’t live in the city so we’ve never had a chance to really talk it out.” 
Namjoon snorts, “Or, because your boss never gives you a break.” 
If Jungkook finds any offense, he doesn’t show it. Putting what should be a comforting hand on your shoulder, he says from the back seat, “I already told you babe, do what makes you comfortable. But I don’t want to lie to your parents early on, you don’t wanna make the situation any more complicated.” 
In other words, you better tell them about our engagement because Taeyeon could be hiding in the bushes waiting to catch us. 
“Smart man,” Namjoon says shortly, but you can’t tell whether it’s a compliment or not. 
“Yeah,” you exhale, turning to smile stiffly at Jungkook, “no use hiding the inevitable, right?” 
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The next couple hours are overwhelming. There’s a party right when you walk in your winter villa, your parents throwing you a reunion party (not for your family, but for you specifically because you’ve been MIA since Big Hit) with the house filled to the brim with family members. Within seconds your favorite cousin checks out the rock on your finger and screams that you’re engaged. 
Everyone must be so high off the fact that you’ve made it to a family event that they’re elated you have a life outside of work. Jungkook is treated like a prince, charming the hell out of all your aunties and baby cousins. 
“Oh, pumpkin!” your auntie squeals, linking arms with you while you’re trying to eat your dinner, “I just hugged your fiancé, and he has abs! Lucky you!” 
“Auntie,” you hiss playfully, “you hugged him that tight?” 
“He’s part of the family, isn’t he?” 
“Right,” you force a smile, downing your glass of champagne. The bubbles burn your throat pleasantly. 
“Babe, can you come here for a second?” Jungkook manages to swim his way through the throng in the living room, holding out a hand for you, “your mom said that our room is ready, care to lead the way?” 
His smile, as pretty as you can care to admit, renders your aunt speechless, and she lets him whisk you away to a long hallway that leads to a set of bedrooms. Jungkook lets go of your hand as soon as you're alone, letting his palm run along the pictures that decorate your hallway. 
He stops at a picture of you and Namjoon as kids, faces tanned and lips cherry red from your twin popsicles melting on your hands. “Wow,” Jungkook pretends to be alarmed, “I didn’t know you used to be cute, what happened?” 
“Shut up,” you smack his hand away, walking ahead of him. 
“I thought you guys reserved a bunch of houses, why does the furniture look worn and there’s pictures of you everywhere?” 
“Our extended family has reserved houses, but this is actually my family’s vacation home. I used to go here every winter and summer break,” you reach a bedroom in the corner of the hall, smiling at your wooden name tag hanging on the front, “this is my old room.” 
It certainly doesn’t have that youthful charm it once had, but there are still bits of your childhood scattering the room. There’s ticket stubs and photobooth strips tacked to a corkboard near your desk. Books that you would reread cover to cover are organized proudly on your shelf, worn for wear. 
Jungkook groans in relief, plopping his body down on your freshly made bed. “Your family’s really clingy.” he sighs, throwing an arm over his eyes. 
You turn to give him a snappy answer, but it dies in your throat when you see what he’s laying on. The familiar family quilt sinks under Jungkook’s weight, mocking you. You shriek, throwing your arms over to lug his body to the other side of the bed. Bundling up the quilt in your arms, you glare at a very appalled Jungkook. 
“The hell is wrong with you, woman!” he cries, not loud enough to escape the room, but enough to have your body vibrate in annoyance. 
“Jeon, they put the fucking baby blanket in my room,” you mutter more to yourself than him, folding it under your arms. 
The blanket is comfy in your grasp and you’re sure it’s clean, but the fact that you weren’t actually married and in love made its appearance a whole lot worse. 
“So?” his eyes are wide in confusion, “my mom still has my baby blanket too, I’m not gonna shoot anyone because of it.” 
“It’s not my baby blanket,” you admonish, “it’s the baby maker blanket. A weird family tradition when someone gets engaged.”
“Which means?” 
“They’re expecting us to fuck and have children.” 
The thought of procreating and starting a family with you must’ve caused all the champagne to return to his throat, and he looks a little pale. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” he lies back down on your mattress, and you leave him be so you can chuck the blanket back in your parents’ room. 
You’re barely out the door when a young man is waiting out in the hallway for you, poised to knock. “Hey, baby girl.” they throw you an easy lopsided grin, opening their arms to you. 
In your haste, you slam your bedroom door a little too loudly. “Yoongi!” You let yourself sink into his waiting arms, reveling in the familiar embrace you missed so much. Yoongi is Namjoon’s best friend and work buddy, not to mention the man you’ve had a crush on since you were able to walk. While you can safely say at this moment there is nothing serious going on, a small part of you always wishes there could be. 
His voice husks in your ear, “Why are we hugging in between the baby blanket?” 
“Oh!” you brush past him, opening the door to your parents’ room and flinging the offending item as far into their room as possible. “Sorry, Jungkook and I were a little freaked out when we saw it. We’re definitely not thinking about children right now.” 
“Jungkook,” he hums, and your smile falters just a tad when you see the way Yoongi tips his head down in thought, “It was quite the news. Congrats though.” 
You want to say what you’re supposed to say, that yes, you should be happy. But the selfish part of you does not want this exchange between you and Yoongi to be happening. When you get your quickie divorce in a year, the small, hopeful part of you hopes you and Yoongi could be something. 
Before you have a chance to fabricate a response, strong hands encircle your waist, and you feel Jungkook’s chin digging into your shoulder. 
“Thanks, man,” Jungkook’s voice rumbles, “we really appreciate it.” 
Yoongi gives a nod, muttering something about catching up later before he walks back to the party. 
It’s then that Jungkook’s weight feels impossibly heavy on your shoulders. “You know, you’ve been doing a really shitty job of being my wife-to-be ever since we landed,” Jungkook whispers, feather soft lips dusting across the shell of your ear. It’s an act so intimate you can imagine your family passing down the hallway could be mistaking you two for speaking unthinkable acts. A toddler cousin spots you two and giggles, babbling something to your uncle about how you’re hugging. “You did so well when we were with Taeyeon and Big Hit.” 
“It’s not the same when I’m lying to my family,” you turn to face him, equally simmering. “These are people that actually love and care for me, unlike you.” 
“At least I care about what’s most important,” he grits back, “our jobs, our futures. Is that not enough for you to keep it in your pants?” 
“Excuse me? You don’t even know him!” 
“I don’t have to know him because I’m holding you right now and you’re practically sweating through your cardigan.” he grimaces, digging his chin further into your collarbone, literally trying to get under your skin. “Your face looks like a cherry tomato.” 
You turn your head to bite back, your noses touching. The staring contest seems to last for days. Unlike Jungkook who doesn't know how to register basic human emotion, you still have hopes for a life after this. Before you have a chance to answer, your favorite cousin enters the hallway, oblivious to your concerns. Jimin’s red all over, passing you two flutes of blush champagne. “Hurry up, we’re making speeches!” 
Champagne is overflowing like Niagara, and you and Jungkook are the reason for it as you’re thrusted into the living room. Your weird uncle is in the middle of a long-winded speech about his fishing business and how dreams are made from ‘bait and a dream’. You make eye contact with him, and he gestures wildly to you and Jungkook. 
The crowd proceeds to go wild, echoes of speech! Speech! Reverberating throughout your living room. You and Jungkook share uneasy smiles, unsure of where to go with this show. 
Deciding it’s your family by blood, you start first. “Honestly, when I moved to New York I wasn’t expecting to feel so lonely,” you clutch your flute with both hands, swirling your drink absentmindedly. You then turn to Jungkook, giving him a tender smile which he returns back just as fondly. “Until I met Jungkook. I’m really happy that I get to share this week with the people I love the most, so let's drink to family!” 
Jungkook lifts his glass, “Thank you for the warm welcome, I can’t wait to spend time with all of you. This is my first Christmas with a large, loving family. Cheers to that!” 
The room erupts in cheers, allowing themselves to clink glasses and chase down their respective drinks. Even the little ones crowding the kiddie table in the back are enjoying their apple juice while making silly faces at the new couple. 
Jungkook weaves his arm between yours, and you get the signal to do a couples’ drink. He eyes you with mischief, as if to say we did it. After you two take your drink, Jimin’s the first to drunkenly yell, “Ohmygod just kiss already!” 
“Kiss kiss kiss!” 
“This is going on my story so make it good!” 
“Kiss him before I do!” 
“Oh my god,” you groan, throwing your forehead on Jungkook’s chest. Your family really is something else. 
As if the chants can’t get any louder, it’s hard to focus on anything but Jungkook’s presence. Jungkook lifts your chin up, murmuring, “Let’s give the people what they want.” and he presses his lips to yours. 
It’s awkward at first. Why wouldn’t it be, you’re making out with your boss, in front of your family, pretending to be engaged. But Jungkook doesn’t let up, parting your lips slightly to deepen the kiss. As much as you want to make up how terrible and disgusting kissing Jungkook is, it really isn’t. His lips are soft and he tastes like the peach champagne, and his grip on your waist is strong and warm. 
He leaves you breathless when you pull away, a smirk on his lips for a brief moment before he turns shyly to your family who are probably foaming at the mouth now. 
Maybe it’s the champagne coursing through your veins, but why does it suddenly feel so hot in the middle of winter? 
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The first day back starts off wholly uneventful, with Jungkook working on some manuscripts and you preparing dinner with Jimin. Most of your family is on the resort hitting the slopes, so you’re quite thankful for the reprieve since the party was so overwhelming. The blonde is all smiles as he bumps the oven closed with his leg, letting your lasagna bake to perfection. 
“I’ve missed you so much,” Jimin rests his head on your shoulder, “it’s definitely not the same when we’re adults. Frankly, it sucks balls.” 
“Big balls,” you agree, gnawing on a leftover baguette from last night. 
“Speaking of big balls,” Jimin wiggles his brows as you attempt to move farther from him.
“Please don’t say it.” 
“C’mon! Just tell me if the sex is good!” 
“No!” you cry, flicking your crumbs at him. 
“I will open this oven,” his hands are already on the handle, “and your dish will undercook.” 
“Don’t you dare!” he opens the oven a tad, and you slam your hand down. “Fine! The sex is fantastic, happy?” 
“Ewh, no!” The storm door swings open, revealing Namjoon, Yoongi, and Lisa, Namjoon’s lady friend. “I didn’t need to hear that, thanks.” 
Your face looks absolutely pained as you watch the two older men walk in. They were the last people you’d ever want to share about your sex life too, even if it is fake. You can only bear to look properly at Lisa as they kick off their boots and shake the snow off their heads. Lisa pokes her tongue in her cheek, looking at you with a wild look in her eyes. “I’ve heard so much about your current drama. Can’t wait to hear the 411 from you, though.” 
Yoongi looks unfazed, then again you never really know what’s going on in his head. “You guys wanna go to a movie tonight?” Yoongi asks, grabbing a slice of the baguette and dipping it in a dish of olive oil. “I think the one that’s showing is based on a book your company published.”
“Is it ‘Rotten Love’?” 
“That’s the one.” 
Pushing yourself off the counter, you nod eagerly. “I’ll go tell Jungkook to get ready. We can eat dinner real quick and then go right after,” you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, “Joonie, set up the table please.” 
Jungkook doesn’t notice you walk in, and you can hear the faint sound of Muse blasting from his Airpods. He’s on your floor, doing pushups while reading a transcript under him. This time he’s using your iPad, every few seconds taking a thumb to scroll down. Sweating through his shirt, you can see the beads running along his silver reading glasses. It’s completely contradictory, your muscle bunny of a boss getting in his reps while psychoanalyzing a potential novel, but somehow it works with him. 
“Maniac,” you mutter, bending down to place the cool water bottle on his cheek. He stops abruptly, like you’ve pressed the pause button on his seemingly robotic arms. Seriously, you can’t fathom how he manages to do both. You swipe the iPad under his body in place of a white towel, which he accepts gratefully. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to snap him out of it, sometimes you’d catch him at the company gym nearing 10PM, reading on the treadmill. 
“What time is it?” he asks, fluting the water bottle down his throat. 
Ignoring the way his neck glistens in sweat, you say, “It’s almost seven. C’mon, we’re gonna eat dinner and watch a movie. You’ve cooped yourself up in this room all day, time to interact with the world.” 
“What movie?” 
“The book we published in 2018, ‘Rotten Love’? They made it into a movie,” and you can’t help the wry grin that takes over your face when you say your next words, “guess who directed it.” 
He sighs, rubbing the towel over his damp hair. The normally styled strands fall limply at his forehead. “I don’t remember, I shifted over that project to PR. Any director’s fine, but please please please don’t let it be—”
“Jung Hoseok!”
“Son of a bitch, we gotta go.” And it’s the first time in a while you see a genuine smile graze his features, one not laced with you and your marriage. It’s an old pastime for you both to get picky over Jung’s work. “I swear, he better not put his scenes all over the place like last time, I got whiplash.” 
After a quick dinner you all pile into Namjoon’s minivan, making your way to the theatre. The drive is fast, and before you know it you’re waiting in line to get inside. It seems that the PR between the film studio and Big Hit did a good job assisting, because there’s a sizable line despite being half an hour early. 
“So honey,” Lisa leans into you, squishing you further into Jungkook’s shoulder. “Did you like, help out with the publishing of this novel? To be honest I don’t even know what your job is,” Lisa admits with a shrug, “you’re not a glorified coffee girl, are you?” 
“No,” her mixed enthusiasm never fails to stump you, “Ah, but I really didn’t do much in the production of ‘Rotten Love’,” you reply easily, relaxing into Jungkook as he moves to drape an arm around your shoulder. “I just told my boss to sign some documents n’stuff. It’s really nothing—”
“Babe, are you kidding? You ran the whole freakin’ project!” and you’re in shock, because for the first time in the history of ever, Jeon Jungkook is paying you a real compliment. “It was her first assignment when she got hired as the big boss’ assistant. A lot of people in the office doubted her,” he squeezes your shoulder, “but not for one second did I doubt her, you could see how hard she worked to make it perfect. I heard the boss was really impressed, too.” 
You remember that period of time. Jungkook made you dive headfirst into the publishing for ‘Rotten Love’, letting you sink or swim in his decision for keeping you employed. After a full month of meetings, negotiations, and debating whether you should have caffeine IV’ed in your body to save time on eating, you got Jungkook’s evaluation. You remember the stoicism in Jungkook’s frame as he surmised your work, throwing you a flippant “it’s decent” before sending you off to do more work. 
Relief flooded your system after those two simple words, because that meant you had a chance and you could keep your job. But this? If what he’s saying is true, you’re on Cloud 9. 
“Awh, thanks Kook.” you squeeze his arm, letting your fingers trail down to lace your fingers with his. 
Lisa’s face is all scrunched, and she doesn’t hesitate to stretch over you to smush Jungkook’s cheek between her two fingers. Her blue nails dig into his soft skin. “I like him, honey. Keep him, he’s so cute.” 
She leaves you alone after that, skipping over to bother Namjoon about buying an extra bucket of popcorn. 
“At first I was nervous having you near my family for a week,” you say brightly, rubbing a thumb over his hand, “but I kinda like seeing you try so hard to not rip other people’s heads off.” 
He puffs out his cheeks in an attempt to soothe the stinging. “Could be worse, I could be engaged to Karen.” 
With that you laugh, loud enough to turn heads and have Jimin and Lisa send you adoring looks. Jungkook sends you a nervous smile, the one that he’d always send you during team meetings when he was unsure of how to respond to something. Instead of giving him a smart answer, you get on your tiptoes to pat his reddened cheek. “But she’s right, you are kinda cute when you wanna be.” 
Instead of replying, he squeezes your hand tighter to lead you inside. 
Everything is smooth sailing after that. You, Jimin and Yoongi are saving the seats while Jungkook, Lisa and Namjoon are getting the refreshments. Jimin is prattling on about a new job interview and you’re listening attentively, while Yoongi shoots off advice every time Jimin says he’s nervous. 
Yoongi looks past Jimin to give you that gummy smile that always made your chest ache. “Chim, remember when she applied to work at Jamba Juice?” 
“Oh my god,” Jimin giggles, clutching your arm. “When you had to do a trial run in front of the manager? You forgot to put the lid on the blender and you sprayed the staff with green juice?” 
“The stains took forever to get out,” you pouted. “And I didn’t appreciate the snaps you saved of me. I got nervous because you were recording me!” 
“Am I hearing some juicy details about your childhood?” Jungkook appears, passing a huge tub of buttery popcorn to Yoongi. 
“Emphasis on juice,” Yoongi says tartly, popping a handful of kernels in his mouth. 
“Yes, do you wanna see a picture of your fiancé covered in green juice? She wore a low-cut shirt that day so it got deep, man.” Jimin says, using his hands to gesture obscenely to his own chest. 
You’re mortified, and you push down Jimin’s phone and cover whatever receipts he has on you. “Jimin, I’d like to stay engaged, if you don’t mind?” 
Your not-so-favorite cousin cackles in response, telling Jungkook that they’ll talk later. 
“Here,” Jungkook cooly hands you a King-Sized KitKat. 
“Awh,” you marvel, immediately opening the wrapper, “you actually read my notes and found out what my favorite candy was?” 
He scoffs, dark bangs blowing up. “Who doesn’t like KitKats?” but you’re giving him the look, and he sighs, “C’mon babe, just gimmie a break.” 
“Ha-ha,” but you break off a piece anyway, lifting it to Jungkook’s lips. It’s then that the theatre starts to dim, and the telltale signs of the movie begin. “Ready to rip Jung Hoseok to shreds?” 
“Always.” 
Barely fifteen minutes pass and Jungkook is spreading his legs. You’re about to kick him before he leans in to whisper, “They made Renee too dull,” he sighs in disappointment, as if he sincerely had high hopes they’d bring the novel to justice. “I mean, I get it, in the novel she’s supposed to be a plain Jane. But she isn’t grey.” 
“Right?” you lean into Jungkook, throwing your legs over his thighs like you’re back at the airport. This isn’t out of intimacy, you think to yourself, you just need to be close enough to Jungkook so you don’t disturb the other patrons with your talking. “She’s either a bad actress or they messed up her character. I really got upset when I read this part, but it’s kinda bland on the screen.” 
As much as you love Jimin, you know he’s not going to get your over-criticality over the media. Yoongi and Namjoon are on the other end of the row, but they wouldn’t be too pleased having you gab over the movie because you’re too much of an aficionado. Jungkook is the only one who can tête-à-tête, or in this case, Kit-a-Kat with you. 
You sigh into his shoulder, inhaling his clean scent. “Let’s pray Jung didn’t completely butcher the chapter where Kenzo reflects on his penniless journey.” 
“I’ll leave the theatre right then and there if that happens, care to join me?” 
“Already out the door, bossman.” 
Jungkook looks away from the screen briefly, reaching forward to take an obnoxiously big bite of the KitKat in your hand. You stifle a giggle, and before you can soak up his cheeky grin he’s already looking back at the movie. 
You wonder what Jungkook is like outside of work, if he has that side to him. A little part of you wishes that this playfulness he’s exuding is real. Not to your fake marriage, but a playfulness he can execute to a person that he really likes. Two days out of the office and you’re starting to see that Jungkook has the capabilities to enjoy life, however simple it may be. 
The movie is finished in a blur, and you and Jungkook are still bickering over the intricacies of the film compared to the novel. The night air is cold and burns your cheeks, reminding you exactly how late you’ve been out.
“Well, I thought the romance was so boring!” Lisa blurted, wanting an in. Her lime green ski jacket glares in your vision, and you move away from her immediately. “No one cheated on each other, there was no drama, or evil best friend!” 
“Whoa there,” and you see the little fire in Jungkook’s eyes, one you’ve learned early on to stay away from when you spent hours in his office debating over manuscripts and plotlines. He stares down at Lisa, really stares down. “You think every romance needs some sort of internalized conflict for it to be good? Why can’t they just grow and learn from the external conflict together? It’s literally useless for them to break up over and over just—”
And that’s your cue to walk ahead of them, because while you did agree with Jungkook, you’ve heard this debate one too many times. Ever the closet-romantic at heart. You hope Lisa doesn’t lose her patience and punch him out. 
“Hey,” you feel a hand pat your hair, and you look up at Yoongi. He looks absolutely fluffy in his long puffy jacket, and he matches your steps with his. “Do I look ugly tonight, or something? I feel like we barely exchanged two sentences with each other.” 
“What, never!” you chastise, “you always look good, Yoongi. And we have the whole week to catch up, remember?”
“Really, then why don’t we go out in two days to pick out a tree for your house? Joon and I are planning on going.” 
“I would love to go pick a tree!” you exclaim, “the last time we got a tree together was when your brother had to lift.” 
“Great,” and he pats your head again, but this time his hand lingers to finger the ringlets of your hair. “It’ll be just like old times, baby girl. I’ll pick you up at 9.” 
Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jungkook’s argument ended minutes ago and he’s mulling over a new type of internal conflict. 
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“Owie, ow, ow—fuck you! Ow!” 
“Well if you just hold still,” Jungkook grimaces, taking his turns with both hands to simultaneously wipe the injury with a cloth and then pressing the affected area with an ice bag. 
“Buh ih hurths!” your voice is muffled by the cloth, stained red with freshly bloomed blood. 
The ski lodge started off great. You enjoyed a fabulous beligan waffle breakfast courtesy of Jimin’s parents, and then made the trek to the slopes. You’ve been here dozens of times, so you didn’t feel an inclination to gravitate to any of the fancy schmancy sports. You were fine playing shuffleboard inside, but your inner youth complained that it’s the holidays and you should be getting out more.
Jimin and Jungkook (who claimed he hasn't snowboarded since he was 16 yet he’s doing tricks like a goddamn Olympian) were shredding on the slopes while Namjoon and Lisa were skiing on a smaller hill. You and Yoongi watched safely from the lift, riding it like a kiddie attraction. You must’ve taken the lift at least ten times, complaining about how you’re both too lazy to function and you could really use a hot chocolate and a fireplace. 
After the fifteenth time on the lift, legs numb, you stumble over with heavy boots to where Lisa and Namjoon were waiting for Jimin and Jungkook. They wanted to walk around more and see if they could try a more difficult slope. 
While you were waiting, you had to admit that Jungkook did kind of cool all decked out in his gear. A competitive, playful smile was easily reflected in his gaze despite his helmet and goggles. 
That slight admiration is knocked right off your feet when Jungkook speeds by way too close for comfort and you’re in his path. Jimin had already slowed next to your friends and family, looking at you in anticipated horror.
It’s far too late, and despite the fact that Jungkook manages to pull your body to his while you wipe out, your face crashes into his helmet and you taste metal. 
Mildly disoriented from the impact, Jungkook’s muffled string of curses nurse you back to a decent consciousness as he tries to carry you to the lodge.
“Holy shit, I got that on camera!” Jimin cries, gesturing to the Go-Pro nestled in his helmet. 
So now you’re in pain and it’s all Jungkook’s fault. Your bottom lip is split, and the burn on your face won’t go away. 
You watch as Jungkook dotes on you, his bangs pushed up everywhere due to his grey goggles haphazardly being propped upon his forehead. His pink tongue sticks out as he concentrates on not getting blood on your sweater. It’s just you and him that are stuck around in the lodge after you got pummeled, standing by the fire while everyone else continues on with the fun. 
“Why were you over there anyway, in the middle of the slope?” he scolds. 
“It was the slow down zone, Jeon. You were the only one not slowing down, you speed demon.” 
“Sorry,” he says gruffly, pressing a little too hard with the ice and you wince. He lets up and presses the cloth to your lips to soak up the moisture.
“Did you say something?” 
“I said, I’m sorry.” 
You sigh dramatically, “I wish I had a camera to save that shitty excuse of an apology.” 
“Speaking of cameras,” he shucks his phone out of his pocket, handing it to you. “Jimin uploaded the video.” 
That man, you don’t know where he has the means to quickly upload and edit things, but if it’s for the ‘Gram, it’s worth it to Jimin. You open Instagram and immediately click on @chimmyboi’s story, immediately wincing as the first few seconds reveal the brunt of the impact. He should really put a disclaimer before uploading content. 
The tumble between you and Jungkook doesn’t look so bad, but it’s when you get up does it look gnarly. Your chin is dribbling in red liquid, and Jungkook’s throwing off his helmet and goggles in a panic. 
He makes a half-assed snowball where you’re lying on the ground, pressing it against your mouth. With his other hand he pulls you into a sitting position, not caring that you’re staining his clothes as he hauls you on his body. 
“Ohmygod,” you splutter, trying not to move your lips, “I look like I got decked with a hockey puck.” 
“It wasn’t that bad, don’t be a baby.” Jungkook sees the piecing glare you give him, and he sighs. “Okay, it looked pretty bad. I was a little worried back there, but now the bleeding pretty much stopped and holy shit—stop smiling! You’re making it open up further!” 
“You were worried?” 
“Shut up.” 
The ice bag is watery and not doing much anymore, but Jungkook still insists to cool your face down. You lift a hand to his cold ones, attempting to take the bag and cloth from his grasp. 
“You should go board with Jimin and the rest of them. I can take care of this.” 
“It’s fine,” he reasons, reaching for the ice bag but you hold on tighter. 
“C’mon, I know the only thing you were looking forward to this entire trip was going snowboarding. I’m a big girl, I can be alone for an hour or two.” 
Jungkook locks his jaw, gnawing at his cheek as he mulls on his decision. “Wouldn’t I look like a bad partner if I leave you?”
“Nah, this has happened before. Almost always someone gets injured on the trip. Last time something like this happened I was eight and I got five stitches on my leg. This is nothing. You’re fine.” 
“But still.” 
“Fine, you wanna make it up to me?” 
You scan the room for any ideas, and it settles on a trio of girls huddled by the register of the built-in café. They’re pretty snow bunnies, decked out in sweater dresses and fur lined boots. They remind you a little of The Powerpuff Girls, all in pastels and attached to the hip. Their gaze has taken hostage in Jungkook’s frame, blatantly ignoring the fact that majority of his attention is directed towards you. You wonder why you haven’t noticed them sooner, because now the staring is getting borderline discomforting. 
Slipping off his goggles with your free hand, you gesture subtly to the girls. “They think you’re hot. Go flirt with them a little and get me a free drink, I’m sure they’ll pay for you.” 
He doesn’t understand the correlation, “Why would I do that?” 
You shrug, separating the strands of hair that stick to his forehead. “Lisa and Namjoon do it all the time when they go clubbing. They compete and pretend they’re single for like two hours, and then they keep a tally of how many people offer to buy them a drink.” 
“That is completely different, but I’m open to trying it when we get back to the city.” he acknowledged briefly, getting up from his crouching position. “I got a better idea.” 
Puzzled, you watch him saunter over to the register. Like bees to the honey, the girls follow Jungkook with their eyes, watching him exaggeratedly mull over the menu. 
He spares the slightest of head inclinations to the drooling trio, “Hello ladies.” The smile is not flirtatious, but kind. 
You suppress a giggle, burying your chin in your scarf as you watch the whole interaction. You don’t even know why you asked Jungkook if he would flirt with those girls, as he kept most of his dates private over the years. You picture a college-aged Jungkook getting his daily breakfast on his way to class, ignoring the way his presence attracts heads. 
The barista hands Jungkook a tray filled with a plastic cup of ice, and a cup filled with something hot, and a chocolate croissant. He grabs a straw from a tray, stabbing it in the hot drink’s lid. 
“Excuse me,” one of the girls coquettishly puts her hands behind her back, puffing her chest out as she leans over Jungkook’s order. “The regular croissants actually taste better in my opinion.” 
“Well my wife’s had a hard day, so I think she deserves something sweet.” 
He doesn’t even turn around as he makes a beeline to where you’re seated on a loveseat, carefully placing the tray on the coffee table. 
“Your better idea was making them jealous?” you ask, unsure of his intentions. 
He shrugs, “College-Jungkook always wanted to show off his girlfriend like that, so indulge me for a second, alright?”
Rolling your eyes you reply, “My life is about indulging you. Don’t forget the trips I’ve made to the grocery store when your personal fridge was out of banana—”
“I thought I said we don’t speak of those hard times,” he cuts you off, “ever.”  
You stop him from filling up your ice bag with the ice he brought. “C’mon Jeon, you’re burning daylight out there. I got this. You’ve stalled enough, go have fun in the snow with Jimin, you adrenaline junkie.” 
He scrunches his nose, but relents when you throw him his jacket and goggles. Before he pulls on his gloves, he cups your face with both hands to pull you in a kiss. His hands are cold from the ice, gluing you in place in fear of him kissing you too hard. But it’s barely that, a brushing of lips so tender as he takes extra care with your open lip. 
“Is this also a self-indulgent request?” you pucker, “who knew there was a hormonal teenager under that editor-in-chief’s body.” 
His eyes flicker to the audience in the back, and you don’t need to look behind you to note that they’re glaring daggers in your head. It’s like you’re straight out of a rom-com. 
“You’re leaving me to the bunnies,” you say teasingly. 
“Then hurry up and get better so you can join us,” he taunts, “or else you can’t help me bury Jimin in the snow.” 
It’s a tempting offer that makes you down your drink so you can enjoy the rest of your day. 
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Light seeps through your windows, rays kissing your eyelashes and willing them to open. You groan, hand splaying out to wake up Jungkook. When you find his space empty and cool, you sit up and search for your fake-fiancé. 
He’s on the floor, smack in the middle of his morning workout. Your iPad is under his body, and somehow he’s managed to find a setting where the document scrolls for him automatically. He’s not wearing his Airpods, so you rasp, “Jeon, you’re crazy. I get the morning workout, but you don’t have to look over any more transcripts. I think you’ve read enough for this week.” 
“It helps me ignore the burn,” he says shortly, and you see the ripples of his back flex with every push-up. “And I wouldn’t have to do so much reading if my assistant would just do her job.” 
“I already told you, I’m not working during my vacation.” you throw off the sheets, padding to your closet. “I’m going to pick the tree today. You should go to the mall with my mom and Jimin to pick out some new ornaments.” 
“What?” he gets up, and you ignore the perfect view of tight muscles decorating his abs. Exactly how long was he awake for to have sweat clinging to his shirt? You’re going to short-circuit and it’s barely 8:30. “But I wanna go help pick out the tree.” 
“You don’t have to do that, Joon and Yoongi got it.” 
“Yoongi, really? You think he can carry a tree?” 
“This isn’t a pissing contest, Jeon.” you settle on a burgundy Patagonia jacket and grey leggings. “Besides, Yoongi and I are just friends.”
“You sure about that, baby girl?” 
You whip around to poke at his chest, and you ignore how smug he looks. “Do not test me, Jeon. Like you said, I’m with you every step of the way in this marriage. I’m not going to jeopardize that over some childhood crush.” 
“Wow, your life is really turning into a Wattpad entry,” he admonishes, “fake-fiancé still pining over his older brother’s best friend, really high-qual stuff.” 
“I’m serious.” you grit, “I took a week off so I can get away from you and that was ruined, so I would like a little bit of space today.” 
And that gets Jungkook to back away. His face deflates a little, and you feel a little guilty for making him upset, but you stab that thought down and convince yourself that he deserves it. It’s not like he cares about you, he just wants to show off to the boys.
“Fine,” he turns around to put on a fresh shirt, and you almost notice the pout marrying his face. “You could’ve just told me you wanted space. I’m getting kind of tired of you too, you know.” 
He flops on the bed and you huff in reply, quickly throwing on your attire inside your closet while he watches a YouTube video. You check your phone, and at 8:59 a knock is at your door. Jungkook doesn’t bother to get up to answer, and you open the door to see a sleepy Yoongi with a paper cup in his hand. 
“An English breakfast with two sugars and a dash of milk, baby girl.” 
You mask your wince at the pet name. It hadn’t bothered you when you were young, but its starting to feel coddling now that Jungkook is making you hyper-aware of the attention. “Perfect,” you faux-beam, the hot beverage warm your fingers. 
“I’ll just warm up the car and—”
“Babeeeeee,”  the deepest, sexiest voice echoes from your bed and out in the hallway. He sounds absolutely tempting, and needy. You freeze at the way your boss can so easily pretend he’s exhausted and wanting you, “come back to bedddddd. I’m not done with you yet.” 
Yoongi’s ears are red, “Aaand, I’ll let you finish whatever business you have.” 
The older man bolts out of there, and you snap your head back to look at an innocent Jungkook. He tilts his head at your bout of anger. 
“You know, I have half a mind to fling this tea down your shirt.” 
“What?” he looks at you like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “He can’t be the only one who can call you baby.” 
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Honestly, you didn’t mean to lash out on Jungkook like that. You did need to put up a face as you were each other's significant others, but it doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time. To top it all off you’ve been feeling weird as of late, and you can only attribute these terrible feelings to a certain brunet who’s been sleeping in your bed. 
But you pin these feelings for another time, because you need to enjoy what little quality time you have with your brother. 
“Hey, whaddya think of this one?” It's just you and Namjoon picking the tree, and Yoongi’s sitting in the cabin keeping warm. He said to call him once you’ve decided, since it is your house. 
“Hm, it’s fine.” you shrug, inhaling the pine. “Maybe a little too tall.” 
Namjoon nods, and you follow him to the next row of greenery. He’s been pensive this whole time, and you have a feeling he’s hiding something. Surrounded by pine and the fresh winter air he says, “Hey, I just wanna say sorry.” 
“Why, did you like that tree over there? I don’t mind it, we can go back!” 
“What, no? I’m sorry for being weird around Jungkook.” 
“Huh?” sure, you noticed the weird language and terseness he gave Jungkook initially, but you chalked it out as big brother issues. 
You two continue to walk around the forest aimlessly, not really tree hunting. 
“I was just upset that the engagement was so sudden,” Namjoon starts, and you feel the guilt start to set camp in your stomach. “And I don’t know, at first he just didn’t seem like your type? I always thought you wanted to date someone gentle, someone you could hold and depend on. He looked so serious, and maybe a little immature.”
“He is a little immature,” you agree softly, digging your boots in the snow, “but I don’t love him any less because of it. We’re growing together.” Shit, why was that so easy for you to say? 
“Figured,” and Namjoon stops to place a hand on your shoulder, “I see the way he looks at you, and you can’t fake love like that.” 
Namjoon’s admonition is so convincing that you almost convince yourself that it is something. 
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Something is bothering Jungkook, and he doesn’t know why. 
It’s not the billions of charges he made on his credit card for new ornaments, because it simultaneously inflated his ego and impressed your mom. 
It’s not the way Jimin hangs onto his every word and doesn’t let up, because it is refreshing to have your cousin find a genuine interest in him. 
Jungkook, Jimin and your mom have been taking laps around the mall for the past hour. They’ve floated around here and there, picking out whatever catches their eye for the tree. 
Jimin’s in the middle of explaining the Jamba Juice story when a glimmering window display catches his eye. 
“Hun, have you not bought her a present yet?” your mom says over his shoulder. 
“No,” he exhales, embarrassed that he just admitted he didn’t think of getting you anything in front of your mom. “She doesn’t ask for anything, really.” Besides her book published, a raise, and a potential promotion as editor, but they didn’t need to know that much. 
“Good thing you’re with the right people!” Jimin cheers, ushering him into the jewelry store. 
Funny enough, he knows exactly what to get you. Once he points it out, Jimin and your mom “ooh” and “aah” respectively, agreeing that what he chose was perfect. If you had asked Jungkook a week ago what kind of jewlery you like, he’d give you a dumb look and say “something shiny.” But that’s what’s bothering him. He just walked right into the store, saw what was right, and everything just clicked. 
Jungkook pins that thought for later, because once their shopping is done they’re back at your villa, arranging the ornaments and detangling the lights that have been holed up in the closet for eleven months. 
Jimin and he are sitting on the living room floor, stabbing thread through popcorn. He really only saw this craft in the movies, and the small part of him is amazed that you and your family go through the hard work to make your holidays so warm. 
Your mom appears from her bedroom, clutching something in her hand. She sits in front of Jungkook, a huge smile on her face. 
“Before you say anything,” and it strikes him how similar you are to your mother. There’s that tone he always receives before he gets new news, or the way you’re eager to share something that will make him happy. “I don’t want you to think this is a luxurious gift or anything. But I realized that you don’t have a wedding band so I went through my old cases and found this.” 
She opens her palm slowly, revealing a simple black band. 
Jungkook’s lips part to form words, but his vocal cords betray him. At first glance, this ring could’ve been mistaken for one of Jimin’s plentiful rings adorning his fingers. Upon closer inspection however, Jungkook notes that this band is thinner and more worn. The metal looks strong and old, the slight scratches and faded color revealing that it was a well-loved piece of jewelry. 
Your mom is offering Jungkook a wedding band. 
“If you don’t like it, that’s okay!” your mom says quickly, nerves radiating because of Jungkook’s silence. “It was my grandfather’s. Don’t feel as if you have to accept it. It’s not a wedding band persay, but I think it matches and it looks about your size and we didn’t get you a Christmas gift so—”
“It’s perfect.” Jungkook tells her firmly, sending him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, I guess we kind of rushed the engagement so I didn’t think of getting a band of my own.” 
Your mother is grateful, dropping the ring in Jungkook’s awaiting palm. “I think my daughter should be the one who puts it on you, don’t you think?” 
“Right,” he echoes, and he just stares at the ring in his hand, feeling weird in his chest. He can’t remember the last time someone put this much thought in getting him something this significant. He can’t accept this ring, but he can’t refuse it either. “I could never find something with this much value from a little shop in New York, so thank you.” 
“Oh, and while we’re on the topic of New York,” Jimin puts down his completed popcorn wreath, “y/n said she already put in her off days for Easter, so you should too. It’ll be at my place this year, and I live by an indoor skydiving zone. She mentioned you’re an adrenaline junkie.” 
“She also mentioned that your birthday’s in September.” your mom pops in, “We were thinking we could take Friday off and stop by for the weekend. I’ve always wanted to see Hamilton!” 
Jungkook knows they’re trying to cheer him up. They’re trying to make him feel part of the family, feel wanted. But he can’t remember the last time he’s felt wanted unless it’s for a book deal or a business exchange. It’s been so long since he’s felt this warm, and he didn’t realize how much he yearned for it until he proposed to you.
“Hey man,” Jimin puts an arm around his trembling shoulders, “are you alright?” 
“Fine,” he’s crying, and doing a shit job at hiding the tears. “It’s alright, I just,” he can’t even find the strength to get up and walk away from this. Is it pathetic that he’s breaking down in the comfort of your cousin and mom, starved for affection? “I just, I miss my family. It’s just the four of us, but they’re all the way in Korea and it’s been awhile since I’ve really celebrated anything with them. They visit sometimes but it’s not the same, y’know? And work is so stressful but I’m not in a position to say that. And your family is just so, so nice and it makes me miss them even more. You’re all so lucky to support each other like this.” 
Jimin and your mom sandwich him like an Oreo. It’s almost funny, how two smaller humans are comforting this big human and not the other way around. “Poor baby, it’s your family too.” 
Pathetic. It’s pathetic how much he wishes to have a family like yours, but he can’t have that. 
“Can we please not tell y/n about this?” Jungkook wishes, leaning his head on your mom’s. “She’s going through a lot right now with work and stuff, I’d rather just talk to her about this after the holidays, if that’s okay.” 
“It’s quite alright, sweetheart,” your mom runs a hand through his hair, and his eyes automatically flutter closed, “just remember, your feelings matter too, okay?” 
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You and Jungkook slip into bed at the same time, murmuring half-hearted “how was your days” and brief descriptions of your outings. It’s a little awkward considering the morning’s events, but not unbearable. 
“The tree smells really nice,” Jungkook tries, looking up from his phone. 
“Yeah, makes the whole room smell like Christmas.” 
“Yeah.”
“Did you have a good time shopping, find anything good?” 
“Yeah.”
“That’s nice.” 
[11:29] Jimin: hey, you know my room’s right next to yours right? 
[11:29] Jimin: we share a goddamn wall and im NOT hearing shit
[11:29] Jimin: are you putting that baby blanket to good use ;)
[11:30] You: YOU”REE DISGUSTING are we even family!!!!  Can i disown a first cousin?? 
[11:30] Jimin: i’m just sayin.. U said it was fantastic
You throw your phone away, letting it slide off to the mattress and onto the baby blanket. Yes, the baby blanket is unfortunately here to stay. Over the course of three days, the quilt is like a ball in a tennis match between you and your mother. You’ve given up and just kept it on the floor. 
“I have a question,” you say aloud, motioning to your bed partner. 
“Shoot.” 
“Was it true when you said I was the only girl you knew well enough to be your wife?”
“Of course, that’s why we’re here.” 
“I’m just wondering, because I really thought you could pick any girl in the office to be yours.” you stuff your hands under the covers, playing with your ring. “I mean, you’re kinda-sorta handsome. You could’ve picked someone just as pretty and they would have studied your whole life story for you.” 
Jungkook's phone falls in his lap, and he looks at you like you’ve lost a couple brain cells. “Normally, I would eat up the fact that you admitted I was attractive. But do you realize you’re just as beautiful, if not more?” 
What? 
“I know it’s unprofessional, but how professional can we get when we’re married, but you’re the whole package, y/n.” and he says it with such fervor, you can’t formulate a response. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. No one else can take my shit and throw it right back in my face, or debate with me for hours on end about a novel’s direction. Only you can do that.” 
“I’m sorry,” you shake your head, “thanks, you’re right. I’m just clouded, and stressed. And Jimin’s being an ass and it’s really bothering me.” 
His chocolate eyes flicker in the darkness of your bedroom, making note of your phone on the floor. “What’d he say?” 
“It’s stupid, he said that he thinks it’s weird he hasn’t heard us bang all week,” you force a laugh, “it’s my fault though, he wouldn’t get off my back so I gave up and told him the sex was fantastic.” 
“Are you worried he’s unconvinced?” 
“A little, maybe? I don’t know.” you’re wrinkling your bedsheets now, turning the cotton into putty as your sweaty palms wring at the edge. 
“I don’t mind giving him a show.” Jungkook blurts, and you instinctively pull the covers closer to your chest, even though you’re fully clothed. 
“What, like fake moan into the wall?” 
“There are things you can do over the clothes,” he says matter-of-factly, pulling the sheet of his bedside down slightly. “And you just said you’re stressed. I’d be a bad fiancé to not let you relieve some of that tension.” 
Jungkook opens his arms and gestures for you to get on his lap. Your body is hot all over, and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re horrified or aroused. Maybe a little of both. 
“Are you kidding—you’re my boss!” 
“And we’re consenting adults!” he narrows his eyes at you, “don’t say you’ve never thought about it before.”
And the sick, twisted part of you has, a lot. There’s something about a man in a tailored suit and owning up to its power that’s really attractive. Not to mention all those times they’d be traveling for work, stumbling for a quick McDonald's bite at 12AM and he’d be dressed casually in tight black jeans and combat boots. The energy really kept you on your toes. 
“Wow, I really hate late-night talks. All the secrets come out, don’t they?” 
“If it makes you feel better, your ass looks great in pencil skirts,” you turn to him with flared eyes, “what? I’m just trying to let you know I mayhaps find you attractive.” 
“Mayhaps you should stop talking before I regret this.” 
His eyebrows lift and disappear from his bangs, the hair freshly dried and fluffy from his late night shower. He then pats his lap with a little blasé as if to say “hop on”, and you ignore the way how good the seat looks, his boxer briefs doing nothing to hide his unmentionables. 
Trying to fight alongside your last drop of dignity, you take your time. 
“C’mon y/n, don’t make it weird.” 
“It’s been weird, Jeon! Jimin’s next door!” you hiss, backing away slightly, “Give me some time, I can’t just hump my boss!” 
“You’re not humping your boss.” Jungkook has the audacity to grin, the expression looking absolutely sinful in the moonlight. “Think of it as your lover wanting to make you feel good.” 
The bridge between love and hatred is a fine, fine line stemmed by passion. 
Careful, you lift your blankets up and slip out of them, moving to sit up. It’s ridiculous, tiptoeing around your bed to avoid any sudden creaks in the aged wood of your mahogany headboard. 
“We’re out to prove to your family we fuck on the reg,” Jungkook snips, “you can make noise.” 
Within seconds, he’s hauling you on his lap. You squeak in surprise, feeling the thin material of his boxers seep through your thin silk shorts. You wriggle around, monitoring Jungkook’s expression. He does not allude too much, but you take note of the way Jungkook secures you with his hands between the swells of your thighs. 
“I’m not a rollercoaster, stop adjusting like you’re gonna buckle up.” 
Jungkook’s dry humor lightens the mood considerably, and you can’t help but smile timidly at his attempt to make you feel at ease. He lets you take your time, and you never imagined someone so demanding in the office can be so… kind in bed. 
You dip forward to kiss his lips once, twice. He looks needy, but lets you set the pace. You appreciate that. You’re salivating at his willingness to make you feel good, and you whimper as he nibbles on a sensitive spot on your neck. 
You need more. Sensing your urgency when you jerk his chin up, he muffles your sounds with a harsh kiss, taking care to moan deeply into your mouth. The heat is luxurious on this winter night, burgundy kisses exchanged between the sheets like secrets. His tongue slips between your teeth, tasting every inch of you and exploring you like the deepest texts. 
He pulls away slightly, and you’re drowning in his gaze. “Am I still just kinda-sorta handsome now?” he nips at your neck, sucking on a spot between your jaw. 
“N-no,” and you pull him up by the chin, taking in his messy hair and glazed eyes, “you’re fucking sexy,” and you tug your mouth to his once more. 
You don’t even realize that you’re rolling your hips until Jungkook breaks the kiss in favor of grabbing your hips, making sure your core is nestled perfectly between his hardening length. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to get wet, and the silk glides easily between your thighs like butter.
“That’s it, baby girl,” he encourages, one hand reaching up to cup your breast, “use me, make  yourself feel good.” 
“Please, don’t call me that,” you whine against his mouth, trying to keep the mood in, “Babe is fine, but baby girl makes me feel like a little kid and I’m not a little kid.”
“You damn right,” and he lifts his hips to meet yours in a sharp thrust, and you gasp hotly into his mouth. It’s too late to muffle your moans, not when you’re drenched with two pathetic pieces of fabric stopping the both of you. “You’re a gorgeous, intelligent, strong, amazing woman.” 
With every compliment, he does all the work, thrusting with each adjective like he’s blessing poetry into your body. 
“J-Jungkook,” the name is muffled against his shoulder, too fuzzed in ecstasy to be embarrassed by the drool coating his tank top. His hair tickles your shoulder as he nips at your clothed breasts, swirling around your nipple. “I-I, m’gonna come,” 
“You’re almost there huh?” and he slips a hand between you two to find that sweet spot, swirling designs between your shorts. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
And you’re shaking, collapsing into his embrace as he rides out your high. He cradles one hand in your hair as you rub furiously against his other, chasing your pleasure like a starved animal. 
“K-Kook,” you murmur into his neck, finding the strength to roll your hips one more time to check. “You’re still hard, do you want me to help?”
“No.” he’s forthright, and as tired as you are, you force yourself to pick your head up. Sweat lines his brow and his face is flushed, but he’s already helping you off and handing you a tissue from the nightstand. 
“What?” you’re hurt, and don’t want to admit why. 
“Don’t feel like you need to,” he grunts into your forehead, dipping a chaste kiss right in the center. “Just let me do something nice to you for once.” 
As much as you want to, you don’t complain as he tucks you in. You don’t complain when you see a wet stain on his Kirby boxer briefs. You don’t answer back when he checks his phone one more time and pulls you in to press a kiss to your cheek. It’s 12:31. 
“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs into your skin, and turns over so his back faces you. 
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Christmas is a loud and eager affair. The entirety of your family piles into your house while still in pajamas, aunts and uncles from other villas running in with their children with their newly opened toys and gadgets. There’s a buffet style breakfast piled on the kitchen island, and you’re all eating in the living room while watching holiday movies. 
Jungkook melds right in, unsurprisingly. He has your baby cousin Dante in his lap, teaching him how to use the controls of his new Nintendo Switch. 
Despite only meeting Jungkook a few days ago, you notice that some of your family have taken the liberty of giving him small presents. You spot a simple silver chain around his wrist, courtesy of Jimin, and a fluffy grey scarf wrapped around his neck, courtesy of your aunt’s impeccable knitting club. 
“He fits right in, doesn’t he?” 
Yoongi hands you your usual cup of tea, and you accept it gratefully. You’re sitting right next to the tree, and you notice that some of the ornaments are miniature books. You absentmindedly run your fingers over the carved wood, especially on the ones that are your favorite titles. 
“Yeah,” you hate to admit, so you whisper it into your mug. But Yoongi can hear, he always does. “I didn’t think it would be this easy.” 
“Easy to love him, or easy to fit into this family?” 
You splutter into your mug, and Yoongi does the right thing by patting your back. It feels a little bit like he’s burping a baby, but otherwise, it soothes your lungs. 
“I am happy for you, you know.” he says, knocking knees with you. “It might not seem like it now, but I truly am.” 
Deciding not to dwell on his subversive confession, you thank him for the tea and excuse yourself. Dante seems like he’s got the hang of MarioKart, so you tug Jungkook by the hand and lead him back into your bedroom. 
“I got you a present, but I didn’t feel like making a scene about it,” you pull out a pink gift bag, tufts of white tissue paper sticking out. “Also, it’s kinda cheap and it was a last minute thing, so don’t have any high expectations.” 
“Gee, you’re really making me feel deserving of this gift,” but he takes his time in unraveling the bag anyway. 
He pulls out a shiny onyx black mug, rolling it between his hands. On one side it’s engraved in gold cursive “World’s Best Boss” but on the other side it’s engraved, “World’s Best Husband”. 
“Subtle,” he grins, pulling you into a hug. He gets that it’s a gag gift, but because it’s from you, it's a lot more meaningful. You could’ve easily delved into his bank accounts and see what he buys for himself, but you decided to take the more personal route. 
“Thanks,” he murmurs into your hair. And to really throw you off he says, “For my gift, I’ve decided to publish your novel.” 
You shove him away as if you’ve been stung, and you barely have the voice to ask, “Are you serious, you’ve read my novel? I didn’t even send you the first draft!” 
“We share the same Google Drive, it was easy to find. If you had noticed, it’s the only thing I’ve been reading this week,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, but he’s in actuality giving you your lifelong dream. “You deserve it, really. I’m sorry if you felt like it wasn’t ready to be read. But it was wonderful, you’re a real wordsmith.” 
“I’m not upset,” you can’t be, not when he smells so good and he’s trying to hug you all over again. “How many copies?”
“10,000.”
“20,000.”
“15,000, and I’ll even give you permission to dedicate your novel to me.” he raises his brows irreverently. 
You scoff at his arrogance, but you don’t admit to confessing that along with professors and your family, you would be dedicating it to him. “Well my gift feels like absolute shit,” you deadpan, “can I have a do-over tomorrow? We can go to the mall or something.”
“You’ve done enough for me,” he disagrees, breaking away from you to place the mug on your desk. “Agreeing to my farfetched proposal, letting me into your home. I think that’s an amazing gift.” 
“You’ve been way too nice,” you look at him wearily, noting the rosiness in his cheeks. 
“You say that like it’s not possible!” 
“Who knows? Maybe the Christmas spirit has performed a miracle, who am I to judge?” and you can’t get enough of the man, running into his heart one more time. Pressing your ear to his chest you sing, “Well, in the Poconos they say, that Jeon Jungkook’s heart grew three sizes that day.” 
It may have not grown three sizes, but if the living room wasn’t so loud, maybe you could’ve heard his heart beating three times as fast. 
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The calm after the storm is your favorite part of Christmas. Most of your extended family has left to mull in their own homes, leaving your family to laze around until it’s just you and Jungkook that are awake. 
Jim Carrey’s version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is playing on Netflix, arguably the only superior rendition of the children's book. The tree is still glowing by the fireplace, soft white lights trickling in the darkened room. 
Earlier in the night, you and Jungkook had cuddled up in the middle of the couch under a blanket, and were too lazy to move even when the entirety of your family vacated. Either of you could’ve easily shoved each other off and went to bed, but here you are, making offhand comments over hot cocoa. Each second that passes by, you’re more aware of how well you two sink between the fabric like you’re meant to do this. The domesticity terrifies you, but you don’t dare to point it out. 
“How does his face do that?” Jungkook turns to you, contorting his face into funny expressions. It’s a poor attempt at the green creature on the screen, but it makes your mouth twitch and you fight the urge to giggle. “It’s like he’s made of rubber.” 
“He has a sense of humor, unlike some people.” 
“Very funny,” he says, turning away to take a sip of his cooca. 
Sinking further into the couch, you unconsciously latch onto him more, savoring his body heat. “Can I confess something?”  
“What’s up?” 
“A week ago, I loathed you. I used to have recurring dreams about you getting run over by a Wonderbread truck. And I was driving the truck.” 
“Wow, that makes me feel so much better.” 
“No really, if I had the opportunity to watch you get hit by a cab, I would’ve paid for it.” 
“If it were possible for me to file for divorce at this very second, now would be time. You are a walking red flag.” 
“Okay, but!” you shush him with a finger to your lips, and he goes cross-eyed at the touch. “After seeing your stellar performance this week and an impeccable display of human emotion. I think after all of this, we could be friends.” 
“Fwends?” he says through your finger, mouth smushed. “Why whuh we?” 
Instead of lifting your finger right away, you swipe at his cherry lips, getting rid of the marshmallow sticking to the corners. 
“Because we get along.” you say simply.
“Because we’re supposed to be getting married.” 
“No! We’ve always gotten along! We’ve just been too up our asses to notice!” you sit up, appalled. “Here’s my theory, a change of setting has suddenly spurred on your character development—”
“—y’know I really don’t appreciate your use of literary jargon, it’s really pretentious—”
“—because without your external conflict, you have a chance to let loose and enjoy your life for once!” 
Jungkook frowns, adjusting his frame so he slightly hovers you. He’s pretty like this, dressed in fluffy black pajamas and his face soft. His eyes absorb the Christmas fairy lights, and you notice for the first time in two years that there are no longer purple bags under his eyes. 
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, voice so small you wonder if he’s worried to crush the moment. “Friends are hard.” 
You shake your head vehemently, “Friends are easy, keeping them is the hard part.”
He doesn’t know why he’s being so weird about this. You’ve worked for him for over two years, you know him as well as you know your skincare routine, down to the last detail. 
“Jeon, don’t think too hard about this,” you try to get him to lighten up, the intense look in his eyes throwing you in for a loop. It makes the little hamster wheel in your head spin rapidly, and you wonder if you’re really crossing a line. “Jimin said you had a really good time yesterday, I was almost jealous I couldn’t come shopping with you.” 
He cracks a smile at that, “Yeah, Jimin and I shared a moment,” and he leans down to the shell of your ear, “and he said he really enjoyed our moment last night.” 
“Oh my god!” you grab a nearby throw pillow, chucking the rough fabric in his face. 
He breaks into a laugh, but not the wine and dine chuckles that he’d have between terse negotiations for work. It’s a full out giggle, like he’s proud to have riled you up enough to break your resolve. Who knew your angry face could be so cute? 
“I guess if we’ve crossed a line, might as well make it all the way to the end,” Jungkook says easily, running a hand through his chocolate tresses. 
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You and Jungkook are leaving the day after tomorrow. Most of your stuff is packed and ready to go, and you’re currently spending the rest of your night at a sit-down dinner with your immediate family plus Jimin. 
It’s peaceful, you muse. Jungkook even offered to help cook. Back at Big Hit not once did he ever bring leftovers from home, always insisting you order something for him during work. Kimchi fried rice is a simple dish, but Jungkook had taken great care in making sure it was cooked properly and adjusted to your family’s tastes. 
Your parents are glowing and enjoying their time with the whole family, a rarity that grows more valuable with age. The meal soothes you like a balm, reminding you of old conversations that had you spew milk out of your nose or Namjoon accidentally spilling beans on your lap. 
“Oh, you should also clear your schedule for the first week of September,” Jimin says absentmindedly, shoving another mouthful of fried rice. “Besides Easter, Jungkook says we can celebrate his birthday and visit for the weekend.” 
“Seriously,” Namjoon balks, sitting up straight as he regards you in disbelief. “You’re sure your Devil of a boss will enjoy you out of his chains for two vacations, god forbid you take the holidays off again.” 
The grip on your fork tightens, but you steel yourself. Honestly, you were wondering why it took Namjoon this long to let it all out. He was always vehemently against your job, as he was the person who got the brunt of your vents when you were stressed. Probably for the sake of Christmas he let it go, but now that it’s over, the topic’s fair game. 
“Oh, c’mon Joonie,” your mother frowns, “not at the table.” 
“He isn’t that bad, Joon.” you reason, completely ignoring Jungkook as you stare straight at your brother. “He means well—”
“Means well?” Namjoon barks a laugh, as if it’s the most laudable thing. “Sis, you cried everyday for a straight month after you were hired.” he places his hands on the table, regarding you carefully, “I had to personally call your doctor in New York to get you sleeping pills, and not to mention that two weeks ago, you were crying again because you were worried he forgot your vacation and would make you work! Don’t tell me he ‘means well’ when I’ve been busy picking up the pieces!” 
At this point, you’re livid. Jungkook’s right here, and while you can’t go ahead and out the fact that he is your boss, you can still have his back. 
They don’t know that you’ve picked the pieces back up, reinforced yourself to create a better version of the person you once were. 
“He does mean well,” you cry, matching your brother’s red tone to a T. “He’s just stressed and genuinely cares about the company. I choose to work long hours because he takes his time in making sure the work we publish is worthwhile, and I support that. He’s hard on me because he knows I have potential. He’s going to make sure I succeed.” 
Namjoon looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “You’re seriously defending your shitty boss?” 
Jimin puts a hand over Namjoon’s in an attempt to placate him, but he shoves it away.
“Honestly,” Namjoon spits venom, “how can you possibly stand to be around someone who makes your life so miserable?” 
Your meal has gone cold, and your fists clutch desperately at your jeans. The breath is robbed from your lungs, and you can’t look at anyone for fear of them regarding you with guilt. You know since the day you got hired that your family wasn’t exactly enthused at your boss’ level of expectation and work output. But they don’t know the industry, and they don’t even really know Jungkook past the surface level. . 
But you know in their eyes, they’re right. Their daughter left their comfy home to pursue her lifelong dream, only for it to be broken in a matter of weeks. It’s natural to feel protective, and while you’re resilient and were able to get it together as of late, it wasn’t enough for them to understand. As someone who loves you, it’s obvious they’d want to blame your boss, blame Jungkook for your suffering. 
You imagine your father would ask Namjoon to step outside, or your parents would make Jimin pull you and Jungkook out. Neither of those things happen.
A warm, large hand is placed on top of yours. You look towards Jungkook, face unreadable as he squeezes your thigh. 
“Namjoon’s right.” Jungkook utters, pressing his lips together. “You deserve to be treated with respect. The boss has never appreciated the hard work you do, at least not out loud. You’re too good for him.”
“Jungkook,” you gape, putting your other hand over his. 
He pulls away at your touch, glancing at the clock. “This dinner was wonderful,” he says gently, looking apologetic to your parents. “Excuse me, but I promised to call my parents at this time.” 
The excuse is completely half-assed, but no one says anything as he leaves, walking out the door without a coat. The table is terse, with your parents attempting to coax out dessert while Jimin clears the dinner table. You refuse to look at Namjoon, who has no idea why you’re so upset. You wait five minutes before you mumble about getting Jungkook a jacket. 
However, when you open the door he isn’t sitting on the porch. He’s all the way up the street, too far for you to be heard with a yell, and walking farther into town. The black hoodie falls to your side, disappointed. 
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Jungkook does in fact, call his parents. Your mother suggested it when she gave him the ring, thinking it would ease his homesickness if he made a better effort to communicate his feelings. 
And so he spends over an hour huddled in a cafe, talking about nothing and everything with his mom and dad. He tells them about the little novelties he’s experienced this week, like making popcorn strings and picking out themed Christmas ornaments. He tells him how he promises to book a flight back to Korea as soon as his work visa goes through. While he doesn’t mention the proposal, he mentions you. He prattles on and on about how strong and beautiful you are, and how you’ve crept up on him and made him realize how awful of a person he was. 
His mom prattles excitedly through the line, saying that women make you realize how much better you can be for them, but she doesn’t know the half of it. 
Jungkook sat there in your dining room, Namjoon boldly telling you off about how miserable he’s made you. 
And yet still, you defended him in ways he never imagined. Your relationship has always been mutual, and prickly at best. You balanced each other out, but he knows he doesn’t deserve you. When he first hired you, he rendered you indispensable like all the other assistants that couldn’t handle it. You’d break eventually. 
And you did break. But you picked up the pieces and put yourself back together, and you didn’t resent him for it. He hated that. How can you trust someone who’s hurt you so much? 
He can’t let you go through with this marriage. You’re wrong. You don’t need him to be successful. 
[11:09] You: mom unlocked the door for you. Jimin and i went out for drinks so idk when ill be back
[11:09] You: please don’t be mad at me
Silly girl, why would he ever be mad at you? 
His plan is simple, Sneak into your villa, grab his luggage, and try to book the earliest flight back to New York. Then, he can come clean to Taeyeon and spend the year in Korea while they work out his visa issues. He’ll quietly pack his things and clear out the office before Monday.  Hopefully by the time he makes it to Busan, he can forgive himself. He’s going to regret missing your expression when you get to hold the first physical copy of your novel. 
This plan proves difficult when he sees Namjoon waiting outside for him, sitting on his luggage and reading a book. His long legs are splayed across the porch, and he doesn’t spare Jungkook a glance.
“Knew something was off,” the older man doesn’t look up from his novel, “found the mug on her desk, bossman.” 
Muttering a curse under his breath Jungkook opens his arms, “Are you gonna beat me up now?” 
“What? No, I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Jungkook scoffs, and watches Namjoon roll his luggage to the back of the van. “And out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll save you the Lyft fare and drive you to the airport.” 
Is he that predictable? He flinches at the sudden jet of the ignition, and he takes heavy, snow-laden steps to the passenger seat. Once buckled in, Namjoon tosses the book in his lap. “Some light reading for the drive.” 
If Namjoon wasn’t the driver, he wouldn’t hesitate to chuck the book at his big, intelligent head. Instead, he glowers, clutching the book tightly. It’s only when they round the corner to a house brightly decorated with lights, does he see what novel Namjoon’s plucked. 
A Mutually-Assured Attachment. Jungkook tosses the book back and forth between his palms, noting the soft cover is so worn it could melt apart in his lap. It feels tended and loved from years of use. 
It’s Jungkook’s first novel, and you had a copy. One of the first editions, if he remembers the cover art correctly. Granted, he thought you had some of his books purely because of your job, but not one from your childhood. Frankly he thought this should have never been published, but he was nineteen and that in itself was a large feat. 
He carefully peels the pages, and takes out his phone to shine the flashlight mode. At the very front, blood red ink is scratched next to the title: “this is THE most pretentious title i’ve read in my life! Don’t disappoint me jeon!!” 
Your handwriting’s all over the place. He sees graphite, gel, and glitter pens mark the margins, as if you’ve come back each time to write something new. The annotations vary, from “this part sucks” to “shit, that’s good i should do that”. You draw little pictures of the objects he’s contrived, from the little brass locket one character cherishes to the facial expressions you imagine they hold. 
And at the very end, your handwriting sits neat and bold on the inside cover: I can do better than him. 
Jungkook chuckles to himself, turning off the light. You’re always right. 
Namjoon senses the younger one is done, and he clears his throat. “I really really don’t understand what she sees in you.” 
“I don’t understand either,” Jungkook agrees easily, his finger tracing your handwriting. He muses that you were always out to get him, even if you didn’t know it. 
Namjoon masks his surprise by clearing his throat. “But I’d rather seek to understand than live the rest of my life having my sister resent me. I don’t really know what you two are going through, but if she trusts you with her life, I’ll try. Emphasis on try.” 
“I don’t deserve your trust.” 
“You damn right you don’t,” succumbing to his impulses Namjoon makes a sharp turn, and Jungkook holds his stomach together before it flies out the window.  
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You come home to find your room cold and barren. All of Jungkook’s things are gone, except your Christmas mug. 
You at least thought Jungkook would spare you a goodbye before he ditched you. You hoped you’d at least consider each other friends who provide explanations after all of this. 
Lifting the mug off the desk, you hear a little clink in the glass, the chime unfamiliar. Hurriedly, you pour out its contents. A heavy, tungsten black ring lands in your palm. You clench the metal between your fingers, hugging it to your chest. 
Mind made up, you dash out to the hallway, nearly bumping into your cousin. At the same time you and Jimin blurt, “We need to go to the airport.” 
Apparently Namjoon warned Jimin that something fishy’s going on. Namjoon didn’t know what, but he had the inkling that Jungkook was hiding something. Once Jimin received the text to meet them at the airport, he flung you in his sedan and floored it. Flushed with adrenaline, Jimin is speeding with a fervor you’ve never experienced. 
“Can you please, take the edge off and tell me what the hell is going on?” 
Just like how Jungkook didn’t want Big Hit to go down the drain, you didn’t want this week to be in vain. You can’t wait a year for Jungkook to come back, and you didn’t want to publish your first novel without him by your side. 
“Long version or short version?” 
“The in-the-middle version. I don’t think I have the brain capacity to absorb all your drama right now but I really need some answers.” 
“O-kay. Basically, Jungkook isn’t a Literary Agent. He’s my god-awful boss. Or was awful, I don’t know. Jungkook left the country before his work visa was fully processed. That’s a breach, so he needs to live in Korea for a year to come back. But he can’t run Big Hit remotely, so he proposed to marry me to attain citizenship.”
Your head whips to the dashboard and you cry out, barely stopping the impact with your hands.  
“Sorry, sorry!” Jimin’s eyes are focused on the red light, absolutely terrified. “Bitch, you’re committing fraud with your boss! You could go to jail, that’s like, the hottest love story ever!” 
“But he’s going back to Korea because now he suddenly realized he can forge basic human connection.” you mutter, “so no, we’re not going to jail because he’s decided to do the right thing.” 
“So what you’re saying is, Jungkook has achieved self-actualization and decided to peacefully move to Korea and sacrifice the company for you.” Jimin is carving his free hand in the air, gesturing wildly. “Don’t you see! He really likes you.”
“Yeah, so now we need to go to the airport and tell his dumbass this isn’t the time to be selfless.” 
Once you find a spot you’re rushing out of the car, weaving between carts and people to find the correct terminal. This airport is much smaller than JFK, so it’s easy for you to navigate and get past the TSA. It also helps that Jin’s wife is an attendant. 
“He chose the 1:45 flight in Terminal 31A,” Mijoo chirps from her tablet, leading you in the right direction. She’s dressed impeccably, the odds and ends of this airport glued together by her impeccable organization. She points to the clock, which glares a digital 1:18AM. “You have time.” 
“Thank you Mijoo,” you exhale gratefully, “and I’m so so sorry I skipped your wedding!” 
“This is the 300th time you’ve said it,” Mijoo rolls her eyes, pushing you and Jimin forward, “But I’ll make sure not to miss your wedding.” 
You’re sweating from your down jacket, and you can’t believe it’s really all come down to this. The one person you’ve spent the last two years of your life doting on, and you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him not just for the publication of your novel, but because you needed him. 
Jungkook’s sitting in the waiting area of Terminal 31A, looking wholly inconspicuous as he reads a book and has his hood propped up. 
Fists balled, you stride forward only to have Jimin tug you back. “What?” 
Jimin pulls off your thick coat, making haste to wipe the sweat off your brow with his sleeves and flatten your messy hair. “What?” he tilts his head to the side, “you need to look good before the big confrontation. I’m recording this for archival purposes. Do you have any lip balm by any chance? You look chapped.” 
You slap his hands away, but those grubby fingers just come back with a vengeance. “My life is just a big show to you, isn’t it?”
“Living vicariously all day, every day.” 
While Jimin parts your bangs, the intercom cuts through the air. 
“The 1:45 flight to John F. Kennedy International airport will now commence boarding. Please line up according to the ticket class.” 
Jimin smiles at you, squeezing your shoulders and gestures for you to go. To your horror, Jungkook is first in line. Panic bubbles to your throat.
“Jeon Jungkook!” you cry, voice echoing throughout the terminal. “If you so much breathe in the direction of that plane I will call Mark Lee right this second and tell him the book series is off!” 
Like a deer in the headlights, Jungkook heeds to your voice immediately. In his stupor you jog forward to snatch his wrist and pull him out of line. You don’t let go until you’re away from the long line, and Jungkook tugs his wrist away. 
“Don’t you dare call him,” Jungkook looks serious, as if you didn’t drive all the way to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. “I will never forgive you if you terminate Mark Lee’s contract.” 
“And I won’t forgive you if you get on that plane.” 
Pain flashes in his eyes, and he shakes his head. “I need to. I can’t let us—let you go through with this. You and your family deserve better.” 
“What? Jungkook, I agreed to this just as much as you did.” 
“No, you didn’t.” he’s adamant, and steps back with every step you take forward. “As your boss I threatened you, held it over your head like an ultimatum. I’ve hurt you,” his voice cracks, looking at you desperately, “why would you want to be stuck with me when I’ve made your life miserable?” 
“If I really wanted to leave, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” You reason, “Do you really want to leave the company behind? To fucking Karen?” 
“Of course I don’t!” Jungkook exclaims, “but it isn’t worth hurting you, hurting your family and everyone that loves you.” 
“And what about you? You’ll be hurt when you leave,” and you step forward, so close that your chests are touching. You take hold of his hands, clutching them between your small ones. “Don’t go, stay with me in New York. We’ll both work hard and try to not run each other to the ground. Let’s be better together.” 
You’re practically begging, biting your lip raw and hoping Jungkook understands how good this change is for the both of you. 
Jungkook is conflicted, looking back and forth between the airline boarding for JFK and your watery eyes. He hates seeing you like this. He can’t imagine you, the strongest woman he’s ever met, crying because of him. Namjoon’s voice echoes in his mind and he tries to smash it to the edge of his memory. But as always, you’re right. 
He replaces your grip with his own, and gets down on one knee. 
Jungkook says your name like it's the sweetest of songs. You’ve never seen him so terrified. “y/n, I didn’t do it right the first time, so let me try again. Please, marry me. Marry me because I want to date you. I want to take you out and give you what you deserve, what we deserve. I want to do better for myself, do better for you. I’ve realized you’re the only person that makes me feel like I’m simultaneously on fire and on thin ice,” he pulls out a velvet box from his pocket, revealing a thin band with interlocking black and clear diamond studs. It’s a pretty little thing, with a groove in the center so it stacks perfectly with your engagement ring. “This was supposed to be your Christmas present, but I chickened out at the last second,” he says sheepishly, tucking his head in. “But if you let me put this ring on your finger, I promise to be your home away from home.”  
With a sob you fall to your knees, throwing yourself onto Jungkook. A small “oof” escapes his lips, and he struggles to hold your waist so you both don’t topple over. “Yes, yes, yes!” you cry, pulling away to cup his face with both hands, pulling him into a sweet kiss. 
Jungkook’s smile takes up his entire face, and he eagerly pecks your lips one more time before ripping the ring from its holder and stacking it on top of your engagement ring. The teardrop diamond is nestled perfectly between the thinner band’s V. “Pretty,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours. 
“Wait,” you pull out the black ring that you found in your room, holding it to his face. “I’m assuming this is yours?” 
“Yeah,” he replies, “your mother said it was your great grandfather’s. It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s the thought that counts.” 
“It matches,” you hum, placing his simpler band in his ring finger. Once it’s on, you take a deep breath. “Shit, we’re really doing this?” 
Jungkook pulls you to stand, wiping the happy tears from your cheek. “We are, we’re a team, remember? We’ve crossed the line and we gotta finish it.” 
And he picks you up, the workouts definitely paying off as he spins you around like you’re the leads in La-La Land, drunk off the happy chemicals firing in your brain. Jimin whoops and hollers, along with all the other patrons in the vicinity of the airport terminal. 
Your real-fiancé puts you down, the both of you now hyperconscious of the stares people give you. Other people have filmed the proposal as well, completely smitten by your confessions. 
“Jungkook,” you giggle into his shoulder, “you were right. Our story is straight out of a Wattpad entry.” 
“Down to the super cheesy in-public airport proposal?” he chimes, pressing his forehead to yours. “Couldn’t have asked for a better love story.” 
“I can’t wait to fall in love with you,” you whisper, quiet enough for his ears only, “for real, this time.” 
“Not that it’s a challenge,” he teases softly, “but I’m already halfway there.” 
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some months later.
“Like the new office, boss lady?” your new assistant (yes, you have an assistant!) asks kindly, his bubbly presence uplifting you immediately. He leads you to the window box, filled with tiny plants. “I figured you like succulents, because you have no time to water them and they’re prickly like you.” 
“Very funny, Seungkwan.” you chide good-naturedly, picking up a succulent with a yellow flower in the middle. “But thank you, your interior design skills are outmatched. I can’t wait to work with you.” 
“Me too, your social commentary you published on the literary industry? And you managed to lace it all up in an inconspicuous fantasy novel?” Seungkwan boasts, “I applied for this position right then and there.” 
“Thanks Seungkwan, why don’t you take your lunch and we’ll meet back at one to discuss our plans for next week.” 
“Sounds good, do you want me to pick you up something?” 
“I’m good, I’m meeting with the bossman.” 
Seungkwan gives you that look, his lips jutting out in a suggestive manner that almost makes you burst into giggles. Your assistant decides not to bother you until after you’ve eaten, and bids you goodbye. 
Just when you get a moment of peace, a handsome face pokes his way inside. “Hello editor,” Jungkook knocks on your door for the sake of attention, but you’re already dragging him into the office and shutting the door tight. “Like your new office?” 
“Love it,” you moan, gesturing to Seungkwan’s light filtering curtains. They’re not dark, rather a tasteful sea green, but they’re opaque enough to stop wandering eyes from peeking into your space. Your personal space was a qualm that immediately needed to be mended after your experience in Jungkook’s office. “A lot more private than your office.” 
“A little part of me hates how much you deserve this promotion,” he sits on your desk, and doesn’t hesitate to pull you between his legs, letting you lean into his chest, “but I do love the added privacy.” 
You fiddle with the buttons of his navy collar, his strong thighs trap you between him, “Why, miss me already?” 
He shrugs, “Taehyung doesn’t look as good as you do in a pencil skirt.” 
You laugh, brushing the strands of hair that fall from his coiff. “No one looks as good as I do in a pencil skirt.” A firm grip confirms that, two strong hands cupping your backside. “Mr. Jeon!” you gasp playfully, pushing him away slightly to pinch his cheeky grin. “Can we save this for later? I’m hungry, but we can always continue this for dessert.” 
He groans in your neck, “Love the sound of that, Mrs. Jeon.” 
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bonus.
“FUUUCCCKKKKKK YEEAAHHHHH!” Park Jimin’s voice bounces off the walls of Taeyeon’s office, his face taking up the entire screen of his desktop as the camera shifts harshly between him and you and Jungkook at the airport. “My cousin’s not going to jail! WOO!” 
Taeyeon pauses the YouTube video at a particularly unflattering screencap: Jimin’s nostrils are flaring wildly and he looks fairly high mid-scream. 
A low whistle escapes Jungkook’s lips, “Wow. That video’s viral,” he looks to you appreciatively, “if Jimin kicks off his YouTube career, you think we can milk a memoir outta him?” 
“Potentially,” you reply nonchalantly, playing with your rings. 
“So,” Taeyeon’s voice is icy, slashing between your casual conversation, “you’re getting married, for real this time?” 
“Yep,” Jungkook pops. 
“Alright,” and from her desk she pulls out an ungodly stack of documents, one that mirrors your own back at the office. “Jungkook, you’ll stay with me. y/n, you’ll go to Vernon’s office and he’ll give you the same spiel. We’ll interview you privately with the same questions. A hair out of place and you’re in trouble. You sure you want to go through with this?” 
You and Jungkook exchange looks, betting your own company that you got this in the bag. 
“Hit us with your best shot.” 
4K notes · View notes
wonswondrland · 3 years ago
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warning! gaslighting, mean jay (apologies), + discreet mention of sexual abuse
washing machine heart
now recalling that night... i stood in the mirror, looking at the red silk dress i had just bought. i turned and adored how it hugged every curve, making me look mature and feminine. i smiled at my image, finally being confident. i grabbed my makeup bag, looking for my usual red lipstick. i easily found it but hesitated picking it up, remembering jay was coming home tonight. i settled for a pink shade and applied it with ease. i walked out of our bedroom and into the kitchen, making sure the food was warm and ready for when jay would show up. i fiddled with my fingers, waves of nervousness washing over me. i hadn't seen jay in a few days. he told me he was staying at the dorm but, after calling jake, i found that it was a lie.
- y/n + jake’s phone call
hey jake.
hey y/n. what's up?
i was just wondering if jay was there? he said he would be staying at the dorm for a few nights about two days ago.
no, we haven't seen him outside of practice.
oh, okay. thanks
i decided that jay knew best. he wouldn't lie to me unless he had a good reason. but a part of me was worried. while laying in bed that same night i heard his ipad vibrating. i didn't want to invade his privacy but something was telling me i needed to see it. i got up and grabbed the ipad and watched his text messages with his ex in realtime.
- jay + his ex’s texts
jay, when are you coming back?
in little while babe
okay, when do you go back to that little whores home?
on friday
ugh, do you have to?
yes, she's my fiancé. i have to.
when do you plan on telling her about this?
never. after the wedding, this is done.
she'd be so devastated.
all this time you were messaging me.
using her to get over me.
you'll break her jay park
no, she's okay
she understands what im going through
she's good for me
you're just as naive
see you later pretty boy
i shut the ipad off and threw it across the room, not worrying if it broke. all i could think was why? why am i not enough? why can't i do better? i don't deserve him. everything was my fault. that was how i felt. which is why i wanted to fix it. i bought a nice dress, wore his favorite scent, and cooked his favorite meal. i needed to show him that i was worthy. that i can deserve him.
at the time i was blinded. i thought that this was what love was. you helping your partner and sacrificing everything.
the door unlocked and my nerves were at an all time high. i saw his tall, tired body. he had faint pink smears on his face. just make up from rehearsal. he placed his jacket down on a hook and walked straight into our room. no hello, no hug, not even a kiss. he's just tired. i decided to follow him into our room. "hey baby. how was practice?" "fine." "hmm. well i made dinner. and i, uh, i bought this dress. i thought you might like it." "mhm, it's nice darling," he said, not even bothering to look up at me. he searched the room for something. he started to look worried. "what are you looking for?" "my ipad. i need it for work. have you seen it?" "yea, it's somewhere in here. i threw it after seeing your texts." he paused. "you saw what!?" "your texts. it kept vibrating and i knew i had to see it. it's okay. i understand. i need to be a better fiancé." he looked at me, dumbfounded. "so you went through my texts!?" "no. i just saw the recent ones. i couldn't look beyond them. i didn't need to," i said walking out of the room. "y/n, that's not okay! you didn't trust me!?" "of course i did." "i can't believe you right now!" he sat on one of the stools at the bar and ran his fingers through his hair. he was frustrated. it was my fault. "it's alright jay. no need to get upset. it's over with. are you hungry?" "i already ate." "oh. well um, i don't know." he sighed. "you alright?" i said sitting next to him. i gently rubbed his back and looked at his face. "it's just hard. i just can't get out of the old routine. but we're getting married soon so i'll have to get out." i nodded. "well i'm always here. maybe you should stop talking with her?" "no," he said, with slight annoyance in his tone. "you always give me advice and it's never good. don't you know how i feel!? this is hard, okay!?" i stayed silent. "i'm gonna go to bed," i whispered. i got up and went to our room. jay came in after me immediately taking his belt off and hovering over me, pinning me to the bed. "j-jay. not right now." i gently pushed his chest and tried to slip out from under him but he gripped my hip with his hand. "jay," i whispered. i closed my eyes tightly, terrified of what was going to happen. was he going to force me to do what i hated? it was a painful process with him only gaining. no romance, no connection, just pain. it hurt. physically, mentally, and emotionally. "fine. i guess you don't love me," he said as he got off of me and started changing into comfier clothes. "that's not true," i said sitting up. "i do love you. i just don't want to do anything right now." "whatever. if you really loved me you would." he finished changing and went out of the room. i sighed, feeling guilty. i walked into the living room and saw him lying on the couch. i decided to just go to bed and deal with it the next day.
in the middle of the night i woke up and needed water. i saw jay hadn't come back to the room. it hurt me a little but i knew we just needed to settle things and it would be okay. i got up from the bed and just as i was about to open the door i heard sounds from the living room. i froze. reality had hit me. tears fell. i swung the door open and i saw jay with his ex. i couldn't bear to see it but i had no choice but to break it up. "JAY HOW COULD YOU!?" they both stopped and looked horrified. "y/n, please." "NO! IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANNA DO THEN GO AHEAD." I threw my ring on the floor and ran back to my room quickly packing my things up into a suitcase. since jay technically owned the apartment all i had were clothes, makeup, and other things i had brought from my home. i grabbed the suitcase and my phone and left. as i walked out the door i saw jay and his ex fighting. i ignored them and left, crashing at the boys dorm for the night.
it's been about five months since then and after talking with the boys and seeing a therapist i saw what my relationship truly was. for weeks i wondered why not me? why her? why was i not enough? but that soon changed after learning the truth. i was being used. like a washing machine, only using it when need be. tossing me and using me like an object. that's what he did. he used my washing machine heart.
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taeyohonic · 4 years ago
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stolen dances | chap. VI
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summary: sometimes supporting the person you love is the hardest challenge you’ll ever face.
pairing: jeon jungkook x fem!reader
rating: m
warning: two swearwords
additional tags: f2l, ceo!jungkook, bestfriend!jungkook, shrink!yoongi, my best friend’s wedding meets 27 dresses (if the boss/secretary couple had happened), angst-y
words: 2000
links: prev. | next  [masterlist]
note: lower case letters intended
chapter summary: there are too many zeros for namjoon to decline
“yoongi warned me about this”, namjoon says while drawing lines across his coffee mug. you roll your eyes, clearly annoyed by your therapist. of course, he connected the dots as soon as you asked for his friend’s number.
“he warned you of getting a hefty tip? maybe even playing your own mixtapes in front of the music elite? in front of the kim seokjin?”, you answer with a sarcastic bite in your voice.
now namjoon is staring at you, calculating silently in his head. after a second to think, he responds.
“no, he warned me about dj-ing at your crush’s wedding while you’re coping with your shrink on the dancefloor… slowly moving your arms in chicken wing motions.”
you laugh at his description, surprised by the accuracy.
“don’t laugh… he had a whole diorama about this.”
your laughter is growing in volume as you try to imagine how yoongi glued wings onto a paper version of you.
“so… these few zeros won’t change your mind?”, you say and slide one of jungkook’s business cards across the table. your new barista friend takes the high-quality paper with caution. but then his eyes widen at the five numbers scribbled across your best friend’s name.
“no way”, he breathes, “this could finance my whole audition tape.”
you smirk at him, glad that taehyung didn’t lie to you when you asked him about the needed budget to audition. there is some pride in your posture, pleased at your wit.
“so, i can set up a meeting?”, you wonder out loud. the mocha in front of you is getting cold and your time is running away from you by the minute.
namjoon keeps staring at his payment, not fully grasping the reality of your offer.
“turn it around, joon”, you whisper. it’s the final blow as the barista sees the phone number on the other side. seokjin’s name is scribbled underneath with a winking smiley.
you’ve got yourself a wedding dj.
**
“i don’t know why we have to get another dj. what’s wrong with jae?”, jungkook mutters as he helps you out of your jacket. the candlelight inside this restaurant is warming your skin, a much-needed warmth because of the missing sleeves of your black dress.
you can hear your best friend sucking in a deep breath, his eyes burning holes into your bare shoulders. but when you turn around to catch his eyes, jungkook is looking at the tip of your nose.
“you look beautiful, _____”, he says in a distant tone. there is no emphasis in his words, but still jungkook doesn’t lie. maybe he forgets stuff, maybe he hides some information. but jungkook never lies. he didn’t say he baked the muffins – you just… assumed.
“really, ____”, your best friend repeats and hands your jacket to the waiter next to you. you smile at him in thanks.
“right back at you, handsome”, you say cheekily and pat his suit jacket. the dark green velvet looks painted on his toned arms and you can’t help the blush coloring your face.
there is a beat of silence before a cleared throat makes you flinch.
“your second party is already here, mr. jeon.” your waiter looks at you apologetic and you try to send him a reassuring smile in return.
“lead the way, then.” jungkook’s hand rests on your lower back as he pushes you in the dining room. his fingers press against your spine and you catch yourself leaning into his touch. it’s a maddening feeling, really. you try to collect your thoughts before spotting namjoon across the room.
“because taehyung slept with them", you whisper. jungkook snorts at your confession.
“who do you mean with them?”, he asks.
“both jae and the two follow-up candidates. he just… slept through the whole list of djs”, you explain. there is the tiniest part of you that is proud of taehyung for silently sneaking behind your back.
“why would he do that?”, jungkook whines into your ear and you snort at his pained expression.
“it was some kind of test. he listened to their playlists… one thing lead to another… it wasn’t pretty.”
“how ugly was it?”, he asks.
“you don’t wanne know… one of them cried on my voice mail two nights ago. like…ugly cried.”
“i should have been more help in the last months, _____. i’m sorry.”, jungkook confesses, recognizing what you had to deal with in the last months.
you squeeze his biceps, feeling the soft velvet under your fingertips.
“nah, you’ve got a company to run, jungkook. and you’re here now.”
“_______”, namjoon greats you warmly as you stop in front of the table. the barista looks so different not surrounded by the hefty smell of coffee. his green apron is gone – now he’s dressed in a beige colored cashmere sweater and some black pants. his hair his combed neatly and the dimples flashing you are making you smile softly at him. without missing a step, you hug him. the sweater smells faintly of vanilla and you feel yourself sniffing against his chest.
“glad you could make it, namjoon.” the musician and part time barista smirks down at you. why are all men around you that much taller? you need more yoongis in your life.
“yeah… kind of afraid to get another powerpoint in my inbox.” you snort. nobody values your powerpoint skills enough.
“i adore her slides a lot”, your best friend offers from behind you. you flinch at his cold tone, not surprised to see his face matching his voice. jungkook always wears his emotions on his sleeves.
still, to see him this tense when meeting a new person worries you. taking a step away from namjoon you move closer to your past idol. jungkook takes your elbow and pushes you against his side instantly.
“why don’t you introduce us, _____?”, he orders while looking at your barista with distrust.
“of course”, you start and try to escape namjoon’s raised eyebrow at jungkook’s hands on you.
“jeon jungkook, meet kim namjoon, your newest wedding dj", you say with faked enthusiasm. only your recent therapy helps you suppress the jazz fingers you want to make as an ice breaker.
both men stare at each other in silence. you feel some curious glances at your back while your group just stands in the middle of an overpriced restaurant.
“nice to meet you, mr. jeon. congrats on your engagement”, namjoon says and bows to your friend. jungkook takes a second too long to respond, just letting the man bow in front of him. it’s a power move you don’t care for, so you use your elbow to poke him.
“ouch, ____”, he whines lowly, but bows as soon as he sees your hostile eyes.
“thank you, mr. kim.”
again, there is a tensed silence you do not understand. soon, the waiter saves the moment.
“why don’t we get you seated and then i can bring you a bottle of your favorite chardonnay on the house?”
you could kiss him right now, because both men sit down instantly as the waiter moves your seat for you.
“thank you”, you whisper and feel him smile at you reassuringly. then he is rushing away to get enough alcohol for this table.
“i didn’t know you two know each other”, jungkook says. there is accusation behind his words and you feel yourself shift on your seat. did you have plenty of times to tell him in the last two days that the newest candidate is a friend of yours? sure. did you take the easy way out and just… emailed him the info? maybe.
“it was in the folder i sent you yesterday”, you mutter. namjoon watches the two of you with interest just as jungkook nudges your shoulder.
“would have been nice for you to tell me in person, ____”, he says softly, no longer mad at you. he sees how tensed your shoulders are. jungkook doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. this joined wedding planning should be fun.
“how did you two meet?”, he asks, directed at the other male across from you.
“she went to one of my gigs”, namjoon explains and smiles at jungkook. you silently applaud his professionalism. first, he congratulated jungkook on his engagement, then the second comment leads straight to his musical work. and not a word about your shared friend, yoongi.
“you do music?”, jungkook asks, now more interested.
“remember the playlist from last weekend?”, you say and smile at the waiter filling your wine glass.
“the one during our movie night?”, jungkook asks and takes two ice cubes from the wine cooler to wordlessly mix them into your glass. he knows how much you like your white wine iced and watered. for the first few months of your friendship, you felt so out of place in jungkook’s world that you didn’t voice your preferences. then, during an outing with jimin at a grungy bar downtown, you shyly asked for extra ice. he still smiles at the memory.
“don’t call it a movie night. i haven’t seen us watch one movie in the last year”, you snort. most of the times seokjin makes a mean meal and your friends stuff themselves full of carbs. then you are all talking with rounded bellies, maybe someone demands a rematch on jungkook’s playstation.
“so, you played some of his songs last saturday?”, jungkook asks.
you nod at the memory. “yeah, it was the one where seokjin slutdropped in front of me.”
namjoon snorts at your words. “kim seokjin slutdropped to one of my songs? can i get that framed?”
now even jungkook smiles kindly at your barista. “i don’t think you need to. you’ll be able to see it with your own eyes at the wedding.”
after that the dinner is more enjoyable. you are gobbling at a hot cheese string of your lasagna when it happens:
jungkook is talking to namjoon, eyes gleaming as he tells him about the first dance.
“i really want it to be a remixed version of spring day”, he explains. “it was the first song i co-wrote for my group.” namjoon nods and scribbles a few words on his ipad.
“the remix from your third album?”, the dj asks. you are impressed by namjoon’s knowledge of bangtan. there is a fangirling part of you still feeling very protective of your favorite idols.
jungkook shakes his head. “nah man, it’s way too outdated. it was like… seven years ago. why don’t you play a bit with the sound?”
you have never seen a kid in your class as excited as namjoon right now. the barista looks like jungkook just gave him a disney all exclusive ticket. and maybe it is on the same level when a highly awarded idol lets you remix one of their song.
“you’d trust me with that?”, namjoon whispers. you munch on your cheesy treat as jungkook nods.
“obviously i’d check it out beforehand… but, your mixture sounds cool. it’s fresh. maybe you can even add some rap parts yourself?”
you push another spoonful of lasagna in your mouth while namjoon stutters in front of you. it’s like cinema without the popcorn.
“you want me to… add to your award-winning record?”, he whispers in awe at the former idol.
“why not? just try your best; if it’s not working out, we can just switch to an acoustic performance from the other members. maybe jimin can cover my high notes”, jungkook muses and looks at your full cheeks with a smile. you grin back at him, clearly happy with his trust in your friend.
“may i have yoongi help me with that?”, namjoon asks in excitement. your greasy smile drops from your lips as jungkook’s head moves back to namjoon, not noticing the dread in your face.
“huh?”
“you know, most of the times the two of us work on music together. yoongi is really, really good with lyrics.”
it’s like seeing an accident happening in slow motion. there is nothing you can do other than chew as fast as you can.
“yoongi?”, jungkook asks and the hot tomato sauce burns your throat as you swallow your food.
“yoongi, you know? _______'s plus one?”
 ______
ahhh! i wanted to do some more barista joon as well as give you some more… jk x reader action! i hope you all enjoyed this update! let me know what you think… it really helps with my motivation. thanks to everyone who supports me with a like, reblog, comment, message… it’s really instant serotonin. on another note: the horse has to leave the hospital!! all the best! stay safe, happy and hopeful! love, dana
taglist: @livewittykid  @thequeen-kat @kagami-s-void @goldenclosethobi @youwannabelostandnotbefound @jinsalpaca @bishuthot @laabellaavitaa21 @baekstans @jalexad​ @kimluvwoo​
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imaginedxlan · 4 years ago
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Ghost of You (Luke Patterson)
a/n: I’m really taking the multifandom thing to the extreme huh? Well this is my #first julie and the phantoms imagine because that show is so gas. Also ghost of you by 5sos is also gas and it made me cry to think of this song and the boys so i just had to do something.
25 years ago, y/n was dating the frontman of the band Sunset Curve, Luke Patterson. Now, a quarter of a century after his untimely death, she sees what she can only assume to be his ghost in a new band and is reminded of the days when she loved him and how she processed his death at only seventeen.
y/d/n = your daughter’s name
Warnings: death, depression
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_____________________
It’s a Saturday morning when your daughter comes running in to show you some YouTube video on her iPad. You can’t really understand what she’s saying, just things like holograph, hot boy and band. When she finally calms down and presses play on the video you see a young girl, no older than fifteen, singing with a beautiful voice. Your daughter has never really been one to show you random videos, not that this girl wasn’t a good singer, but you’re confused as to why she would have taken the time to run from her room to show you this video.
Then you see it. Just as the chorus of the song begins to play, a band appears around her, full equipment flashes in completely out of nowhere. There he is. You can’t believe your eyes. As your daughter begins to point out the boy wish the shaggy brown hair and glowing smile and how ‘hot he is’ you feel nauseous. Luke Patterson, front man of Sunset Curve and your deceased boyfriend.
“Turn that off, y/d/n.” You say sternly as your mind begins to cloud. This had to be some sort of dream, or nightmare. Seeing Luke’s face after so long, feeling like you had been transported right back to 1995, it was all too much. You had tried so hard to move on, to heal from the sudden loss of him, but seeing him like this brought back the hurt all over again.
“Mom? Are you alright?” Your daughter asks, still not pausing the video. “It’s just a video, I don’t understand.”
“I said turn it off!” You never meant to sound so harsh, but the queesy feeling in your stomach only worsens the more you hear the rasp in his voice, so clear compared to the only CDs you’d kept throughout the years. “I need to go lay down.”
July 30, 1995
This worst day of your life, standing next to your parents and his as you struggle for a breath. Only eight days have past since the fateful night that was supposed to be your boyfriends big break but ended up taking his life. Your arms are folded tightly in front of you as you attempt to stop the endless stream of sobs rolling from your lips. Staring at his casket, side by side with Alex and Reggie’s, made you feel sicker than any flu you’d every caught. The pastor walks ahead of the crowd in front of the three wooden boxes that held your very best friends.
“My friends, we are gathered here today for a number reasons. First, we are here to pay our tribute to three young men, all full of talent and promise, who have been taken from this earth far too soon. Reginald Peters, Luke Patterson, and Alexander Mercer.” When he calls the names of the boys, you only cry harder into your fathers shoulder. Only seventeen years old and you had already suffered the worst loss you could ever imagine. “We are also here to comfort the families of these boys along with their loved ones. Not only have we sensed our own personal feelings of loss over Reggie, Luke, and Alex’s passing, but our hearts have been drawn toward them, and will continue to be with them. We are here to seek comfort, as our hearts ache over this inconceivable loss, and we hope that these young men will find eternal rest, wherever they may be.”
With your heart heavy, so say your final goodbye to the boy you love most in this world. Placing a hand on his casket, the tears do not stop rolling down your cheeks. You feel a hand grip your shoulder and turn to see Mrs. Patterson, her eyes red and heavy like yours. You embrace the woman and cry into each other for a while, unable to break from the closest person to Luke. You hold her hand, his father on the other side of her, as they lower him into the ground. You replay the last moment you spent with him in your mind, wishing him luck before they went for those stupid fucking hotdogs before the show, telling him you’d be cheering him on from the wings. The Orpheum was their dream and they never got to play it.
You couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of loss, not that you were expected to. The weeks you spent laying in your bed, staring at the Sunset Curve posters and polaroids from concerts and rehearsals on your walls, turned to months. You didn’t cry, there were no more tears left in your body. Those photos are all you have left of him, that and their CD that played on repeat all day and night. Your parents were probably sick of it by now but they didn’t dare come in to tell you to turn it off. They did come in to tell you when dinner was ready and ask if you wanted to see any of the countless friends that came to comfort you. They would sit on your bed, listening to the voice of your now dead boyfriend and cry with you. They try to get you to leave the house, come with them on a walk or get breakfast at your favorite diner but it was no use. Any place you go will bring up a memory you have when Luke was there with you, smiling that bright shiny smile of his.
You eventually did go outside, having to start and finish out your senior year without him. No homecoming, no prom, no graduation. The school held memorials for the boys, they hung portraits and painted murals but it just made you more numb to the feelinh when you saw his face. Nothing made you happy anymore, you put on a face to keep your friends, parents and newly appointed grief counsellor from forcing any pills down your throat to fix the chemical imbalance that came from losing the only light on your life. They called it complicated grief, it was persistent and crippling, but you refused to take any pharmaceuticals. You feel semi-responsible for not being there to tell him hotdogs from the back of a car was a bad idea, you feel like you have to sit with this ever present sinking feeling. You spend Luke’s birthday with his parents every year, remembering the last birthday you spent with him and trying your hardest to smile at the memory of the boys smashing his cake into his face at some random stop on tour, but you can’t.
Present Day
You find the video that your daughter showed you earlier today, Julie and the Phantoms they were called. You had pulled the shoe box out of your closet, the one filled with concert t-shirts, polaroid’s and posters from the best days of your life and went through them for the first time in a long time. Your husband knew Luke, he went to your high school and then college. He knew what his death did to you and he understood that Luke Patterson will always have a piece of your heart. He doesn’t mind, he supports you on the hard days, his birthday and the anniversary of his death, and he pushes you to grow and heal from the pain. You needed someone like him in your life, he was good.
“We buried you.” You whisper as your finger comes into contact with the screen, staring at the face of the seventeen year old boy you lost in 1995. Your daughter explained it was a hologram, that the girl who was singing had programmed them into her stage, but you watched every single Sunset Curve performance and it looked nothing like any one you ever saw. You were staring at the ghost of him. Your hand reached for your favorite polaroid picture of him, all sweaty and gross after a show with the biggest smile on his face. “We buried you, Luke.”
Your husband had already seen the video by the time he came home from work. He held you while you cried, swearing he was a ghost. He told you over and over again that he was just a hologram, and you eventually stopped fighting him. Your daughter was confused, you never told her about Luke or the boys, it was just too hard. In the morning you went through the box again, this time stopping on a disposable camera photo of the two of you holding each other backstage just before a show. When you looked closer at the photo he was wearing the same blue hoodie he was wearing that night.
July 22, 1995
Sound check is only a few minutes away and you sat on a big red couch in the backstage area of The Orpheum with the boys. You were cuddled into Luke’s side, hearing his heartbeat racing at the thought of getting on stage in less than an hour.
“I can’t believe we made it,” Alex muses, fiddling with his drum sticks. “Sunset Curve, playing at the Orpheum.”
“Tell your friends.” Reggie adds, making the group laugh. “I can’t believe it either. This is going to change everything.”
Bobby nodded with the boys, so did Luke. You looked up toward him, in awe of how far they’ve come. “Hey, I’m really proud of you.”
He looks down to you and pulls you tighter into him before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Wouldn’t be here without you.”
“As if,” You roll your eyes. “I just told you Sunset Curve sounded better than Sunset Curb, and Alex was already pushing against curb.”
He just smiles, and rests his head on top of your. “We have to go soon. We’ll probably get something to eat beforehand, so I’ll see you after the show. I love you.”
“I love you more, hot shot.” You reply, lifting your head to leave a soft kiss on his lips. The boys let out a collective ew to which you respond with your middle finger, no words. “Go kill it, you know where I’ll be.”
“Don’t move!” Reggie shouts as Luke is about to get off the couch. He pulls out a camera from his backpack and brings it to his eye. “You’ll want this for the slideshow when I make my speech at your wedding.”
You and Luke roll your eyes before he brings you closer into his side, flashing his award winning smile. You hold him tight and stare up at his beautiful face when the flash of the camera goes off. He plants one more kiss on your temple before getting up.
The four boys filed out of the backstage area and onto their respective spots on stage, Luke turning around to send you one last wink before grabbing his guitar. Not even an hour later, the sound of sirens bring you the worst news you could ever fathom. They were dead, the three of them were dead and you never even got to say goodbye. You and Bobby stand shocked while the officers explain what happened, your first thought being this is some huge prank they’re playing to get their nerves out before the show. But it wasn’t. They really died that night and you’re left wondering what you could’ve done different so he would still be here. So Reggie could have actually made a speech at your wedding, what you could have done to build a life with him instead of losing him at seventeen. 
Present Day
You spend a long time deciding what will make you feel okay after this. You had spent years avoiding every aspect of life that would remind you of your lost love, but now his ghost, or hologram, is an internet sensation. While it broke your heart to see him again, doing the thing he loved most in this world, it forced you to look back on your time with him, to look through all the memories you made with him and you were grateful for that. You find that the young girl, Julie, goes to school with your daughter. You decide that direct contact between a fifteen year old and a forty-two year old stranger would be far out of your comfort zone. Settling on a letter that your daughter will pass along to her, you sit down to write.
Dear Julie,
      My name is Y/n, I’m y/d/n’s mom. This may seem a little odd that  your classmate’s mother is writing you a note, but I have to thank you for something. In 1995, I lost someone very special to me, a few people actually. They were in a band called Sunset Curve, maybe you’ve heard of them. Y/d/n showed me your performance, all I can say is wow. You are an extraordinarily talented girl, not only musically but your holograms are awe-striking. When I saw the figure of my late friends come on to screen, you have no idea what kind of joy that brought me, to watch them perform again. I was with them that night, the night of The Orpheum. They were one step closer to stardom before it all ended, if they were able to see that your music was bringing them back to life I’m sure they would be shouting and carrying on like they always did. You allowed me to get one last chance to see them perform, something I always wished I could see. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’m not sure how you managed to create them and bring them into your show, but however you did it you brought some peace back into my life. After watching your video, I was finally able to face the past, something I have been struggling with for years. If you ever had any questions about the boys or want to see some memorabilia I’ve kept all these years, feel free to reach out. Again Julie, you don’t know what your video gave me, I am forever grateful for you and your technological skills. I hope success finds you, thats all Sunset Curve could have ever dreamed of.
Best Wishes,                                                                                                      Y/N
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bluesky-thewebcomic · 4 years ago
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Final thoughts from Elvenwhovian
So here we are at the end. The last panel. There were a lot of times that I thought I wouldn’t make it to this point. It’s been an incredible and long journey, and finishing a project like this is satisfying beyond words. I know that many of you were not here from the start, so I just wanted to share the story of how this 930 panel monster of a project came to be and thank a few people who helped along the way.
Really it all started in March of 2014. My roommate had taken a trip to New Zealand to visit family and I was having a pity party at home alone (It’s always been a dream of mine to go to New Zealand). I was window shopping online on Thinkgeek (RIP Thinkgeek) and I was seeing all this merch for a game called Portal. This led me to Steam, which led to finishing the first Portal in about a day, then Portal2 in about 2 weeks. 
Of course this led me to begin looking up fan art which led me to discover the fanfiction “Blue Sky”. I read the whole thing in about 4 days. I was so engrossed in the story, I ate, slept, went to work, and read Blue Sky and nothing else. I vividly remember sitting at my kitchen table, ipad in hand, as I read the last lines of the story. I sat back, let out a long breath and said, “Wow. That was one of the best stories I’ve ever read.” 
The fan art came next. Being relatively new to tumblr, I was used to getting 3-6 notes on a post. Suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork liking and reblogging. My mind was blown and it made me want to make more fan art. Then I met @starry-nightengale who became one of my best friends on this site. We fangirled over “Blue Sky” and Portal over the next year which led to us co-writing “The Trial of the Bow” trilogy, a medieval/fairytale retelling of Portal, Portal 2, Blue Sky, and Portal Stories: Mel. 
It was on Labor day weekend of 2015 when my internet went down inexplicably. My roommate who had the internet in her name was out of town yet again and I conceded that I would have to wait until she got back to get the issue resolved. The Trial of the Bow Trilogy was finished and I had just co-written with @the-royal-sketchbook a Half-life Medival/fairytale fanfic “The Legend of the Freeman.” However, my passion for Half-life was not as strong as it was for Blue Sky and I longed to do something else involving Wheatley, Chell, and the citizens of Eaden. 
Most of the people that I encouraged to read Blue Sky did not have the time to invest into a novel length book. I longed to create something more accessible. A comic book/graphic novel of the story had been in the back of my mind for a long time, but when the desire rose up in me, the thought of “but you would have to do backgrounds and you suck at backgrounds” reared its ugly head. 
But on that Labor day weekend, a thought occurred to me. “What if I did it as a comic? Very loose and simple. Something that I could do for fun without any heavy commitment.” So that weekend, I did a quick pencil drawing of the scene when Wheatley and Chell argue from Chapter 5. I threw some color on it and put it on tumblr and it got a great response. Then I did the scene when Chell transfers Wheatley into the hardlight avatar from Chapter 3. Another great response. It was simple and loose but people seemed to like it. I asked Starry what she thought about doing the whole story in such a way. If memory serves, she was for it but warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. If I did this, it would be a huge project and would take a lot of planning and forethought. BTW, good advice Starry ;)
After completing all of Chapter 1, I made the announcement, created the page, and the Blue Sky Web comic was born.
One of the things that helps me to recharge each week is drawing/working on art on Sunday afternoons. In the past, I had struggled to find things to work on, but no more. Sunday was now Blue Sky Comic day. I would post 2 panels and create 4 more. If I had extra time on holidays or days off I would get extra done. This system allowed me to consistently add to the project without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. I was able to get ahead so that I could take breaks for holidays, trips, computer problems, and eventually planning my wedding and getting married. The Blue Sky Web Comic became a constant in my life. Whenever I needed to decompress and just draw or color in panels, it was there. 
In late summer of 2019, my Father was diagnosed with cancer. If any of you have walked through cancer with someone, you know how difficult and painful it can be. My husband and I took a trip to see my parents about once a month for the next 8 months. The drive was fairly long and was the perfect opportunity to work on what I called “pencil work” for the comic (sketching out the layout of each panel, a process that took the most concentration and time). Working on the comic helped to keep my mind off of things. Each time we visited my Dad his condition declined and being able to focus on something like the “pencil work” helped to make the trips better.
In spring of 2020, right before the COVID-19 lockdown, my Father passed away. It was right before that final trip that I finished the “Pencil work”. By then I had also made a lot of headway on the comic itself, with only a few chapters left to ink and color. I remember reading stories and blogs about how people made it through difficult times by focusing on a hobby, tv show, book, or music; not living in denial of the bad things, but just having something to help them take a break from it all. That was what the Blue Sky Comic was for me in those final days and I will always cherish how it was one of the things that helped me to make it through that difficult period in my life.
With the COVID-19 lockdown, I had some extra time to work on the comic and by late spring of 2020, I finished the last panel. It still kind of blows my mind. From 2015 to 2020 was how long it took to complete.
____________
To the 2000+ followers and those who replied, liked, reblogged, and sent messages, your words helped me to keep going when I wondered if it was worth it. Your kind thoughts helped me to know that this story is still enjoyed by people and Portal fans alike.
To @starry-nightengale, thank you for your advice at the beginning and your support and friendship along the way. Here’s to many more ^w^
And to @wafflebloggies, thank you for writing Blue Sky. It may seem overdramatic, but when I found this fic back in 2014, I was in a dark place and your story helped me hold onto the light. Even years later when faced with new trials, it helped me to focus on what was ahead. I truly believe that this story resonates with so many people because it taps into the most simple and profound truth: the most powerful love is selfless. And selfless love can conquer any difficulty. Also your support of the comic over the years made me smile with delight. I’m so glad you liked it :)
So that’s the story. I plan to do more audiobooks of the rest of the Trial of the Bow trilogy, but after that I’m going to be taking a nice long break from Blue Sky and Portal.  I have a personal passion project that I am in the initial stages on. It's another web comic that I actually couldn’t have even considered doing if not for the experience I gained over the past 5 years. I’ll have updates on my personal tumblr for that project and the audiobooks, but for this page, The Blue Sky Web comic, this will be one of my final posts (aside from responding to any messages from you guys). Thank you all again for following. What an incredible journey this has been! This fandom is so amazing and I love you all. Take care and God bless. - Elvy
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absuuuurdstarkid · 4 years ago
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My personal highlights of the Starkid Broadway Whodunit 4/10/20
Strap in this could be long...
Lauren’s character is pregnant and she has the biggest most fake looking bump I’ve ever seen
Joey is wearing a baby carrier even though the baby isn’t due for another MONTH
James is amazing and so convincingly nervous as has character, I think he was the only one who didn’t break the whole time
Jaime is playing herself and controlling her puppet (you know, the sweet one Nick made for her wedding) but the puppet keeps saying wildly inappropriate things - think Trekkie Monster from Avenue Q
Jaime’s character later murders the puppet, cause why not
Meredith looks BEAUFITUL and her character wants to be an actress so every time she’s asked a question she turns it into a really long monologue about her upcoming one woman show
Meredith’s character (who was called Denise, love it): “I taped my breasts together with duct tape earlier and I’m worried my nipples will fall off” *drinks wine* *Andrew breaks*
Joey and Lauren used their tgwdlm newsreader voices the whole time, and Lauren was just hanging off Joey’s shoulders
Walker was playing a like 20 year old and just kept saying Dope, Dope about everything
Corey’s character was obsessed with Lauren’s (and turns out was the father) and every time he appeared Lauren moved rooms and ditched him with an UGH
Joe’s character also had a TikTok and Joe did not sound sure than he knew what TikTok was
Everyone left Joe alone in the room and he looked so offended
Lauren disappeared to ‘go pee because of the baby’ about 6000 times
Jamie Burns’ wig was even more wild than Chorn
Brian: “Can sesame street go away please” “Vicki BEAT IT”
Joe: “YEAH I am a teenager, have you SEEN my TikTok???”
Everyone had their character’s names at the bottom of their screen but there was a glitch so every time they moved rooms Lauren and Joey’s just said laurenlopez
Corey’s character Danny appeared in a ‘disguise’ which was just some sunglasses he was also wearing earlier, everyone sees through it apart from Brian
Jamie’s character was an infomercial star and came up with a product called the Butt Clamp which would stop you needing to use the toilet - everyone else kept calling it a butt plug and Jamie got increasingly angry the more this happened
Corey to Joe: “ThEy’Re GoiNG tO caNCeL YoU oN tHE inTeRNeT”
Joe’s character gets shot and dies, Lauren “He died of old age?!!!”, Brian “He looks like he has a butt clamp in” *everyone accuses Vicky of murder by butt clamp*
Andrew “I’m gonna call a private investigator”, Brian “Why don’t you call 911?”, Andrew “No!”
Andrew on the phone “please come figure out what happened”, Joey “finger who?!” *Lauren and Mere break*
Lauren “Ya butt clamp’s defective Vicky” “Yeah cause your not meant to use it on your vagina!” *Lauren, Brian and Robert all hide off camera they’re laughing so much*
The Investigator arrives aka Joe with a drawn on moustache, Jaime immediately “Is that sharpie on your face?”
WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT PUPPET JUST SAY?!!
Joe says some lines as the investigator so everyone can keep up with the plot, Brian “Are you reading this off of something?” “NO! what kind of question is this?!” “well your talking very robotically” “Yeah does feel like it was written” “Are you done?”
Joe “I’m going to introduce myself now, my name is...investigator ..moo-stache” everyone breaks, Joe can’t get through the line
Jaime “Are you sure sure your name isn’t investigator Sharpay?” *Andrew is so gone he gives up trying to hide his laughing, Lauren and Meredith fall out of frame*
Brian makes a suggestion, Joe “are you the investigator here or am I? SHUT UP”
Joe gets some words wrong and corrects himself, Lauren “See this makes be think you’re reading it off somewhere” “Yeah stick to the script”
Jamie Burns “Put a but clamp on your mouth and shut the hell up Mr Moustache” Joe in an incredulous voice “What did you just say to me? put an ass clamp on my mouth?!” “A BUTT CLAMP” *more people have broken than are still in character* Joe “I’ll have to come back to that one”
Lauren “Can you at least make eye contact when you’re talking to us, you’re looking at your shoes”, Brian “Listen, put whatever you’re reading more up by your camera and then It’ll look more like you’re not reading it” *everyone breaks, Andrew, Joey, Lo, Mere, James are all on the floor* Joe “I am remembering it, I have to look at my shoes to remember!”
*everyone heckles Joe, looks like he’s about to explode/have a breakdown*
Joe is now reading it higher and desperately trying to keep looking at the camera
Jamie “You’re a hack... I could figure out this whole investigation with my eyes closed and my butt clamped” *mass breaking*
Andrew announces that all the butt clamps in the world have been sold in an attempt to end this joke. It does not work.
*Inspector asks who people thing the murderer is* Meredith “Well let me look at... my thoughts that I’ve been writing down”
Joe uses the sharpie he drew his moustache on with to pretend to take notes
Andrew’s character “Can I tell you the truth”, Joe “You actually are compelled by law to to tell me the truth yes”
Brian to Joe “We have a lot in common actually, I mean...I went to the Apocalyptour too” (The poster is behind Joe on the wall) Joe, desperately trying not to break “my daughter dragged me”
“He’s not the murderer, he’s just stalking the fuckin butt plug lady”
Joe “I’ve just... got to check the notes on my shoes”
Joey desperately wants to name the baby after the murdered puppet
Lauren accuses Mere’s character of being pregnant, Meredith “Am I PREGNANT?! Is that why my breasts look so good?!”
Brian “Is that like an air drop? DID YOU AIR DROP A BABY IN HER?!” *Andrew corpses*
Corey tries another disguise, but he’s just wearing a baseball cap backwards
Turns out Joey’s character had been fucking the puppet “The thing is it’s got a big hole in its ass” *Lauren and Joey both start laughing*
Jaime “I’ve only killed one non human thing today” Joe “You killed a puppet made out of menstrual blood”
Lauren can’t remember her character’s surname and she and Joe break
*Brian tries to show something on an ipad* “I don’t know if you can see that” Joe “Yes, yes, the camera is auto adjusting the white balance I can see it perfectly” *Lauren hides laughing behind her hands*
There’s a TWIST that Robert isn’t French and called Luis (loo-E), he’s actually called Lewis but everyone had been called him Lewis all night anyway so it didn’t really work but was funny and Meredith felt so bad about it
Joe says the same thing twice and everyone accuses him of reading again “I’M THINKING, I HAVE TO LOOK AT MY SHOE WHEN I THINK AND REMEBER”
There’s a beautifully photoshopped ‘evidence picture’ of Joey and the puppet
Meredith is convinced Brian is the murderer, decides to strangle him
The proof that Brian isn’t the murderer is that in a video he doesn’t know how to use a gun
Robert accuses Lauren’s baby of being the murderer, Joey and Lauren are busy kissing Diane
Joe’s explaining the final plot points and pauses to find the next bit of paper to read “Sorry, one sec, I’m REMEMBERING” *everyone breaks* “LOOK AT YOUR SHOE!”
FINAL PLOT TWIST turns out Joe’s investigator was really the long lost triplet Gaston to the murdered Ashton and Sebastian THE END
Joe “You might think that because I was a triplet this moustache is fake, BUT IT’S NOT, IT’S REAL”
They all take their wigs off, Joe out of character sums it up: “I truly did not know what was going on”
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nalgenewhore · 4 years ago
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masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 
+*+*+*+*+*+*
“Lorcan,” snapped a sharp voice. He groaned into his pillow, screwing his eyes shut at the threat of sunlight. 
“What do you want, Maeve,” Lorcan bit out, not in the mood for his aunt’s conniving bullshit this early in the morning. He was here as a favour to his father and nothing, nothing more. “I’m sleeping.” 
“It’s almost eleven o’clock and Miss DuBois will be here at noon,” she hissed, trying to rip his duvet away. Lorcan swore and pulled it back, just remembering that Maeve was forcing him to take Remelle DuBois of all people as his date. He turned onto his back and sighed through his nose. 
“So? The fucking thing doesn’t even start till one, let me sleep,” he protested, flinging his arm over his eyes. “You lost, Maeve. The title is Elide’s.” Neither missed the fact that he said ‘you’, further confirming that his stake was not as… passionate in his aunt’s cause. 
Maeve scoffed dismissively, glaring out the windows into the gardens where workers were setting up for the garden party. The guest list was filled with Terrasen’s elite, all joining to celebrate Elide and Fenrys’ upcoming nuptials. “It’s not over until she puts that damned ring on his finger, the little sneaky bitch.” 
“Don’t call her that.” The words escaped him before Lorcan’s brain could catch up with what Maeve was saying. She paused, looking at him curiously. Lorcan rolled his eyes and got out of bed, “I’m going to change now so do you think you could possibly fuck off?” There was no lost love between nephew and aunt. 
“We are not finished here.” 
“Get out of my room.” 
+*+*+*+*+*+*
Fenrys kicked his feet as Elide sat patiently. Lysandra chastised the man, who was already dressed in a grey suit. His tie and pocket square matched her sage green tea dress. It had flutter sleeves and a modest v-neckline. The dress cinched at the waist before the chiffon skirts fell elegantly to just beneath her knees. 
Philippa pinned Elide’s old school, Hollywood curls so they tumbled down one shoulder. She stepped back after applying a light layer of hairspray to ensure it would stay in place during the afternoon. “Now, you’re all ready for the party.”
Elide chuckled. She stood, slipping her hand into Fenrys’ elbow, “You’re a true artist, Philippa.” 
“Oh,” the older woman waved her hands, “nonsense. I had a beautiful subject to work with.” Philippa handed her a lace fan, a sage ribbon hanging from it.
“That you did,” Fenrys said, dipping his head to kiss his fiancée’s cheek. He grinned at Elide’s blush when she pushed him away. 
“Stop flirting with me.” 
“Ugh, I love it when you tell me I’m not allowed to flirt with my betrothed.” 
Elide rolled her eyes and turned on her white and strappy heels. She tugged Fenrys along, shouting a ‘thank you’ over her shoulder to Philippa. Fenrys kept her laughing the entire way to the garden with witty jokes and snarky comments. Elide snorted, trying to keep her composure when they turned the corner and ran into her uncle. 
“Your Grace,” Fenrys said, bowing. Elide curtsied a bit, murmuring his name. 
“Lord Marama, I see you’re still here.” 
“Well, yes, sir. I wouldn’t abandon my fiancée three weeks before the wedding,” he answered smoothly, slipping his arm around Elide’s waist and resting a somewhat possessive hand on her hip. She suppressed the shiver, shuddering for all the wrong reasons, even though Elide knew it was all for show.
“Of course you wouldn’t.” 
Elide nodded, nudging Fenrys towards the doors, “We’re leaving now, uncle. I hope you enjoy the party.” She grabbed the hand Fenrys had on her hip and pulled him away. 
“I doubt it,” Vernon called after the pair as Elide pushed the door open. 
Feeling Fenrys stiffen, Elide dug her white painted nails into his hand, “Leave it. He’s a senile old man.” She glanced back at him, staring him down until he nodded, the muscle in his jaw clenching. “Hey.” Elide stopped short, gripping his chin, “Fenrys, I have lived with him my entire life. You have known him for a week and a half. Don’t, for a single second, think you know what is best for me and how I should handle my abuser.” His eyes broke and she softened, “Fen, I know you have a good heart and that you want to protect me and I-I love that. Really. But, please, don’t try to do what only I can do for me.”  
He nodded, his full lips quirking up at the corners, “Yes, ma’am.” 
Elide clicked her tongue, “Come on, we have a garden party to host.” They walked powerfully to the entrance of the gardens. Before they turned the hedge that would put them in full view of the guests they could hear chatting lively, Elide paused. 
“Hey,” Fenrys said, his brows - lightened to match his hair - furrowed, “are you alright?” 
“Mm-hmm,” she replied, closing her eyes for a second. “Just need a second. I’m fine.” 
The blonde man nodded and slid his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels as he waited. A few silent moments later, Elide plastered on a cheery smile that he cringed at, “For fuck’s sake, that’s so scary.” He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, pasting on an equally jarring grin, “Ready, honeybunch?” 
“Let’s knock ‘em dead, sweetie-pie,” Elide chirped, giggling like she had gone mad. Fenrys held out his elbow again, graciously leading her around the bend. 
Someone announced them and they spent what seemed like an eternity smiling, waving, and thanking people for coming. Elide’s cheeks were burning from the strain of her beam when they had finally wrapped up the greetings. 
“Drink?” 
Turning to the bright voice, Elide sighed in relief to see Lysandra there. Aelin and Rowan were standing a few metres off, speaking to some elderly couple - no doubt royals of some kind. “Yes, gods, please,” she said, taking the champagne from Lysandra's hand. She had the grace to not chug it like she wanted to and sipped politely. 
A server passed by with a tray of smoked salmon and cream cheese cracker bites. Elide took one, about to pop it in her mouth when Aelin and Rowan walked over. A flurry of something caught her eye and she peeked around Fenrys and Rowan to see who it was. “Oh, he did not just do that,” Elide cursed, narrowing her slender eyes. 
“Who,” Aelin said, turning to track her cousin’s gaze. When she saw Lorcan standing at the entrance, she figured that was the only thing to set her off. But then a pale skinned, pale haired, and pale eyed woman stepped out from the shadow of his broad frame and Aelin went red in the face. “Remelle? He brought Remelle?”
The boys coughed, quick to turn and stare. Lorcan caught their gazes and sent them a pained look, subtly indicating Maeve, who was standing at a table with a smug look on her face. “Oh, well, that makes more sense,” Fenrys muttered, nudging Rowan, who nodded in agreement. 
Lysandra frowned, scrolling through her iPad. The woman never went anywhere without it, “Maeve… did not tell me who Lorcan’s date was. And I made sure everyone knew who was not permitted and Miss DuBois is–” 
“Lys, please, don’t worry about it,” Aelin assured her dear friend. “It’s not your fault, you’ve done an exceptional job, as usual. It’s just… Maeve being Maeve.” Lysandra nodded, but quickly excused herself. As she left, they all heard her speaking tersely into her earpiece, wanting to know who exactly had been at the entrance when they arrived. All security details were required to know the guestlist. 
When Remelle looked their way, Rowan quickly turned away, his skin crawling as he felt her predatory stare burn into the back of his neck. The king consort twined his fingers through the queen’s, tilting his head to the side, “I’m sure there are more stuffy lords we haven’t said hello to yet. Let’s go do that now.” 
Aelin nodded, flashing him her signature golden smile, “Of course.” She looked at Elide, who was still glaring at Lorcan, who was smiling back at her. To the untrained eye, it would look like a smirk, but Aelin knew Lorcan a bit better than that. His eyes sparkled with delight and affection. 
She glanced at Fenrys, sharing a look with him. Have fun with… that. 
He rolled his eyes, shooing her away, “Go, enjoy yourselves, kiss a bunch of old white guy ass for me.” 
“Oh, I will, I know it’s your favourite, Fenny,” Aelin quipped. With a flourish, she marched off, pulling a somewhat reluctant Rowan behind her. 
+*+*+*+*+*+* 
Hellas, she looks amazing. 
“There’s the little cripple girl,” Remelle said, waving her fingers vaguely. 
Lorcan rounded on her, pulling his attention away from Elide, “Excuse me? Don’t say shit like that, what is wrong with you?”
“Oh, testy, aren’t we,” she purred, reaching a slender hand up to tweak something about his hair. He moved, his reaction swifter than her motion. Remelle rolled her icy blue eyes, huffing slightly and looking down at her sharp nails, “Are you still anal about your hair? It’s just hair.” 
He didn’t even deign to respond to her, knowing she would never get it through her dense skull. Must be all the bleach damage, Lorcan thought to himself. There was no way someone’s hair could be that white, naturally, at her age. “I need a fucking drink,” he muttered, not bothering to see if Remelle wanted anything before stalking off to the bar. 
His aunt was waiting for him there and Lorcan pointedly ignored her as he ordered a whiskey sour. “Lorcan,” she hissed, his name sounding like a curse on her tongue, “why aren’t you with your date?” 
“Because she’s an unbearable cunt of a human being,” he grumbled, thanking the bartender and digging out a green twenty for the tip. He had worked shit jobs like serving and knew how stingy the one percent was. “Thanks, man.” 
“You’re welcome, sir,” the bartender said, smoothly putting the tip in his pocket and turning to the next guest. 
Lorcan took his drink, taking a long sip before addressing his aunt, “Maeve, what do you want?” 
Her dark, creepily dark, eyes flashed dangerously, “Boy, get yourself in line. She came here as a favour, got it?” 
“Yes, ma’am,” Lorcan saluted her sarcastically, his gaze jumping over her head when a vision dressed in gentle green caught it. Elide glared at him, pointing with her closed fan to a path in the hedges. This would be fun. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more pressing matters at hand, auntie.” 
He stepped around her, striding through the partygoers to Elide. “And to what do I owe the pleasure for this?”
Elide glared up at him, actually having to tilt her head back to even look him in the eye. It was cute, even if the glare was murderous. Elide turned neatly, walking angrily into the path. Lorcan followed, biting back his smile. “Are you going to murder me, sweetheart?” 
No answer. They came to a fork in the road and Elide turned left, leading him to an opening with a bubbling fountain. There, she whirled, “You brought Remelle as your date?!” 
“Why, yes. She’s a fine young lady,” he said, delighting in the way he was able to provoke her so easily. 
“She’s a heinous bitch,” Elide spat, beginning to pace back and forth. 
“Why do you care who I bring as my date?” 
She paused, deciding to step onto the stone lip of the fountain. There, now she was almost eye-level with him, “I don’t.” 
Lorcan raised his brows, looking at her in disbelief, “Seems that way.” 
“Well, you seem to care a lot about my relationship, it’s only fair that I care that much about yours.” 
He scoffed, draining his drink and putting the empty glass down on the edge of a bird bath. “Your relationship with Fenrys is no more real than mine with Remelle.” 
The fan caught between her hands was gripped so tightly Elide’s knuckles were white. Still, her voice was calm, collected, “Fen told me you were friends. I was surprised.” 
He looked at her suspiciously, willing himself not to look at her lips and hold her gaze, “Is there a reason for your surprise?” 
“Well, it seems to me that if he were your friend, you would support it. You know,” she shrugged, her smile saccharine sweet, “for his happiness.” 
Cool anger flowed through his veins and he didn’t bother thinking before he spat words he might’ve come to regret, “You couldn’t make Fenrys happy if you were married to him for a hundred years. I told you already, he will never love you.” Elide would never love Fenrys either, but Lorcan didn’t bother telling her what she no doubt already knew. 
In her eyes shone hurt that was quickly replaced with heated rage. Elide hit his shoulder with her fan, “I loathe you.” Her face was centimetres from his, he could smell the intoxicating scent of her elderberry and cinnamon perfume. The delicate and spiced fragrance had haunted him for weeks now. 
“Well, I loathe you,” Lorcan murmured, the tone too low and too enticing for it to be anything but a bedroom voice, "sweetheart."
Elide’s breath hitched and in that moment, Lorcan would’ve done anything she commanded of him to make her do it again and again and again. Her eyes flicked to his lips before dancing back up to his. Neither knew who moved first and neither cared as Elide’s arms slid around his neck and Lorcan’s slipped around her waist. 
The kiss was hungry and biting, but a perfect harmony anyways. She tasted like champagne. Lorcan swore he could get drunk off her embrace as Elide nipped his lip, her tongue flicking over the small sting to soothe it. 
Lorcan pulled her closer, craving the feelings of her feminine curves and softness against his harsh contours and planes. She sighed delicately, melting into his hold before she realised what they were doing and tried to push herself away. 
Only, on the ledge, Elide didn’t have anywhere to go and she fell backwards, not relinquishing her hold on his charcoal suit. Lorcan was pulled into the fountain with her, their clothes and hair instantly sopping wet. 
“You kissed me! You- you can’t go around kissing engaged people, Lorcan. Do you have any sense at all,” Elide whispered harshly at him, quickly standing to climb out. He went to stand up, but Elide pushed him back down again, her hands on his chest. “You’re just trying to make me like you so that I won’t marry Fen and you’ll get the throne! You- oh, you’re evil.”
With an indignant huff, Elide Lochan marched off, throwing him one last glare as she turned the corner and disappeared from his sight. 
Lorcan was so, so, so fucked. 
+*+*+*+*+*+* 
Elide kept her head high as she walked back to the palace. She managed to avoid the garden party, but caught Rowan slinking around the bushes, no doubt trying to avoid a certain someone.
“Elide?” 
The delicate fabric of her dress clung to her skin and she shivered despite the warm sun. Elide nodded, waving vaguely as she passed him. He scrambled after her. “Ellie, do I want to know what happened?” 
“He happened,” she snapped, picking up her pace. A quick glance down told her that her dress was indeed rather transparent. Elide swore, crossing her arms over her chest. Rowan quickly shucked off his suit jacket, draping the large garment over her tiny frame. 
“That doesn’t sound good.” 
“Well, it’s not.” Elide closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. All she could think about was the kiss and how she had never felt anything like it. An unwarranted thought of if and when he would kiss her again popped up in her mind. Elide shook her head, desperate to forget about it. “It’s nothing. We just fought again and ended up in the fountain.” 
He held in his snort and they arrived at the side doors. Rowan opened it for the woman, letting her pass before he shot a suspicious glance around them and closed it. They didn’t need any more media attention and certainly not with Remelle in the vicinity. “Good thing that Aelin is wrapping the party up now. You can go warm up and hide out in your room.” 
Elide flashed him a grateful smile and slinked off to a hidden stairwell. It used to be used solely by servants and the staff, but now it was used by anyone who wanted a discreet escape to the private wings. 
Rowan smiled at her as well, keeping the pleasant look on his face until she had disappeared from view. Then, he let it fall, gritting his teeth as he seethed. It seemed that he needed to have another little chat with Lorcan. 
+*+*+*+*+*+*
“El?” The door of her bedroom burst open and Fenrys appeared, looking concerned. It didn’t fade when his eyes fell on her curled up in a nest of blankets. A cup of tea sat on her nightstand, steam wafting from it. “I just saw Lorcan, are you ok?” 
“‘m fine,” she muttered, turning her eyes back to the show she was watching. “Just cold.” 
Fenrys smiled, “Mind if I join you?” Elide grinned, scooching over slightly. The dark skinned man made quick work of divesting himself of his shoes, jacket, and tie. He popped a couple buttons open, sighing as he flopped down next to her. “What, I don’t get any blanket?” 
Elide rolled her eyes and flipped a few of them back so he could cuddle under them. Fenrys wrapped his arms around her, “You’re freezing, El.” 
“I know,” she chattered, her teeth still clicking together. “The chef said she’d make me something warm to eat.” Elide leeched Fenrys’ body heat away, burrowing herself deeper into the mattress. After a few minutes, the warmth made her drowsy and Elide slowly drifted off. 
 +*+*+*+*+*+*
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” 
“Hello, Rowan. Lovely party that was,” Lorcan replied evenly. He glanced in the mirror. Rowan was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, his jaw set and ticking. “Can I help you with something?” 
“What are you doing to her?” 
There was no reason for him to say who he was talking about, they were both well aware. “I’m not doing anything to her.” 
“You drive her fucking crazy, Lorcan,” Rowan said, moving out of the way when Lorcan stalked out of the toilet. 
“And?” 
Rowan sighed, shaking his head. “Lorcan. Just- fuck. What is going on with you two?” 
“Nothing is going on with me and Elide,” Lorcan answered, pulling on a hoodie. It might’ve even been one of Rowan’s, he wasn’t sure. 
“You told me you would never lie to me. Don’t you dare start now.” 
Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Lorcan looked up at Rowan, but all he could see was Elide’s face the second before they kissed. “Ro…” He gestured vaguely with his hands, unable to articulate his swirling thoughts. “It’s just what it is. I can’t explain. We’re just- someone is pushing us together, I can’t stop it.” I don’t want to stop it.
“Oh,” Rowan breathed, his stark green eyes wide like saucers. His mouth dropped open and he gaped at Lorcan, blinking once in shock. “Oh. Oh.” 
“What,” Lorcan snapped, his hackles rising. He had a premonition that he knew what Rowan was going to say. “Spit it out, bastard.” 
“You’re falling for her.” 
“No, I am not.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
Lorcan just fell back on the mattress, looking up at the ceiling. He sighed, his voice completely unconvincing, a little dreamy, even, “No, I am not.” 
+*+*+*+*+*+*
Elide slinked into the kitchens, smiling thankfully at the chef who passed her a bowl of xaimoko, a Blackbeak rabbit stew. It was her favourite comfort food. She remembered once, when she was young, after being disciplined by her uncle, the old cook, a kind woman, had found her hiding in a corner. She had spoken in Blackbeak to Elide, coaxing her to the kitchen for a nice dinner. Vernon had ordered that she wasn’t to have dinner, but the cook had served her a bowl of rabbit stew and fried cornbread anyway.
Ever since then, the cook, who had retired a couple years after, had made sure every chef in the castle knew how to make it. 
Elide ate as slowly as possible. Lysandra had texted her, telling Elide that Aelin wanted to see her after she had eaten dinner. After her nap, Elide had spent her time avoiding Aelin but it had seemed like her luck had run out. 
She washed her own dishes, stowing them away in the cupboards. Gaze downcast, Elide made her way to Aelin’s temporary office, just set up for her time in Perranth before she and Rowan returned to Orynth. 
Elide knocked reluctantly on the door, wishing Rowan or at least Fenrys were with her. The meeting was only to be with Aelin, though, so she wasn’t hopeful. 
“Come in,” the queen called, her voice muffled through the heavy doors. 
Elide pushed the door open, softly closing it behind her. Aelin’s face was set, her lips tightening as she folded her hands atop her desk. “Elide. Sit, please.” She glanced at Lysandra who was sitting in the other chair. 
She felt like a schoolgirl in trouble with the principal. Elide sunk down in a chair, keeping her gaze down. 
“Elide,” Aelin sighed, clearly not happy with her cousin. “What is happening with you?” 
Elide shook her head, looking down at her hands, “Nothing.” 
“That’s not true.” 
She nodded, “Yes it is. Nothing is happening with me.” Elide finally dragged her eyes up to Aelin’s. “I’m fine.” 
The blonde sighed, drumming her fingers on the desk, “Elide. I know we aren’t the most traditional country and you have more liberties than most, but you can’t do stuff like this.” 
“Stuff like what?” Her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled. “I’m not doing anything.” 
“Elide, you are engaged. You can’t hide in closets with people who are not your betrothed and you cannot climb out of a fountain, dripping wet, with the same person who is not your betrothed!” 
“Aelin, why don’t we–” 
“No, Lysandra. Elide is not some high school girl, who gets to run around doing whatever she wishes! She is a royal and is expected to act like one.” 
Elide flinched, shrinking back at the volume and sharpness, “I’m sorry.” If Aelin had noticed how Elide reacted, she would’ve stopped immediately, but the stress of battling parliament and the media were wearing on her. “I didn’t mean–”
“Yeah, I know, you didn’t mean to.” Aelin’s hands dove into her hair, gripping the strands on either side of her head. She laughed humorlessly, the sound icy and hollow. “I am trying to save your crown, do you get that, Elide?” 
Elide stayed silent, willing her body to keep her tears to herself. Unconsciously, she started scratching a nail up and down her forearm, over and over and over until blood was drawn. It was a habit she had picked up as a child and years of therapy hadn’t undone it. 
However, Lysandra noticed and she reached over to take Elide’s hand subtly enough so that Aelin didn’t see.
“I’m sorry.”
Aelin looked at her for a moment and glanced away, “Just tighten up, Elide. You can’t afford to be doing things you don’t mean and if you think you can… you might as well give Lorcan the crown already.” 
“Can I go now?” Elide asked, her voice trembling. In shock, Aelin’s eyes snapped back to her, as if realising the memories she had resurfaced for Elide. Lysandra held a hand out to Elide, but Elide moved so Lysandra’s touch fell short.
“Ellie–” 
Elide stood up abruptly, “If there isn’t anything else you have to say, can I go, your Majesty?” 
Aelin nodded meekly and Elide left. The halls were empty and because of it, Elide ran back to her rooms, locking the doors behind her. She managed to keep from letting the tears fall until she was in her bedroom. 
Bear looked up at her from her bed as Elide crawled into hers. The dog stared at her for a moment, laying unmoving. Elide wiped her cheeks, chuckling tearfully, “Oh, are you mad at me too?” 
Bear just turned her head, tucking her nose beneath her tail.
Elide felt her heart crack in two and cried harder, hiccuping as she buried her face into her pillow. In the darkness of her room, Elide slowly cried until she had exhausted herself into a deep sleep.
+*+*+*+*+*+*
an: omg !! royal scandal sksksks !! 
@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @ladyverena @ttakeitbacknoww @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse  @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @empress-ofbloodshed​ @b00kworm @hizqueen4life @silversprings98 @amren-courtofdreams @minaidss @superspiritfestival @sanakapoor @ireallyshouldsleeprn @spyofthenightcourt @januarystears @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @magicalunicorngypsy @elriel4life @sensitiveillyrian
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3pirouette · 4 years ago
Text
Fic: Iterate (1/1)
Title: Iterate By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: Up through Endgame. Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 2953 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)
Summary: Steve lived through the 21st century twice, the second time hurt much more than the first.
A/N: I literally made myself cry today on the way to work while I was working this out in my head. It was SUPPOSED to be FLUFFY. I’m not exactly why I decided on this format, all I know is that it felt right. I hope you enjoy. Steggy is just mentioned, more Steve-centric. 
It was supposed to be a stupid, fluffy story about Old Steve living with his granddaughter and being a LITTLE SHIT to her all the time because he’s 100% comfortable with modern things and it drives her nuts. I’m sorry.
Also, please pay attention to vague time stamps. Certain details are changed for impact. Hence, AU (Even though I FULLY BELIEVE that once the stones are placed back there is only ONE main timeline where Steve lived, was Peggy’s husband, and that’s how he showed up at the end of Endgame. Fight me.)
AND I’M SORRY.
~*~ October 2023
He supposed he’d always been waiting for this day. Steve knew he’d be around for it, one way or another. At least, he’d always assumed that, though he’d thought he’d experience it in a very, very different way.
He didn’t know the exact time, just a vague recollection that it was early afternoon, that there had been sunlight they’d blocked out with the blast shields, that they’d tried to eat lunch but they were all too nervous.
Funny. Same thing happened to him today. He couldn’t manage to get anything to slide down past the lump in his throat, couldn’t fill his stomach to calm the butterflies. He tried coffee first. It was warm and robust but had no effect.
He pulled out the tin from the back of the cabinet and made a cup of tea from one of the few remaining bags there. He sipped it and imagined Peggy sitting across from him, telling him off for using old tea that would be bitter and teasing him for how much sugar he put in it.
He drank a beer and wished to god that he had just one flask of whatever it was Thor used to carry around. He needed something to calm his nerves.
He caught his reflection in the window over the sink. For just the briefest second he saw his young self, so broken by so much, not knowing that today would be the day he’d be put to his greatest test. But the sun shifted and he could see every wrinkle in the refection, every grey hair, the haziness to his eyes that the doctor said was the beginning of cataracts.
A lifetime ago this day had changed everything for him without him knowing. Today, he was just as eager for the moment when Banner would put on that glove, this time for very different reasons.
~*~
In the end, Steve Rogers managed to live a fairly normal life.
Once back with Peggy, he kept away from the spotlight. Unsure if he’d created a parallel timeline or if he was living in his own, he did his best to avoid changing things.
Because even when he wanted to change things, he realized very quickly, he couldn’t.
He became enamored with sci-fi and fantasy that included time travel, with physicists who wrote books on the subject. He wanted to understand it, to know the unknowable.
He eventually decided that he was prescribing to the Doctor Who Theory of time travel: that it was all very, very complicated but that some things, no matter what, had to just happen in their own time and some things were simply fixed and would always happen the way they were supposed to. He’d seen this first with Zola- as he’d tried to get the man and his influence away from SHIELD they only dug their heels in deeper and kept him. It was later reaffirmed when, despite every effort, The Winter Soldier escaped him and Howard and Maria were left for dead in their car, young Tony devistated.
After that day, he stopped trying so hard to avoid squishing butterflies and focused instead on enjoying what he had.
What he had was, after all, quite a lot: A wife, two young boys, and a second chance at the life he’d missed while fighting other men’s wars.
~*~
Despite knowing all that laid ahead for him and his friends in the future that was now his past and yet somehow once again his future, Steve eventually started longing for the new millennium as decades past him by. He missed the technology, the ability to have whatever kind of entertainment he waited at the tips of his fingers. Though he’d known a good portion of what would happen from history books, once he’d gone back, he’d lived an entire lifetime full of surprises, experiencing things like the moon landing and the Vietnam war first hand. But now, as he grew older and he knew his days with Peggy were numbered, he longed for the small comforts of familiarity, for e-mails and smartphones and heated steering wheels on cars that parked themselves.
As the 2000’s arrived, he felt himself get more and more comfortable with the things around him: the news, the events he’d already experienced once and would again in a different way. It felt good to feel at least on solid ground with the world around him, knowing what was to come for him.
His home was lonely after Peggy was gone, and he made his only granddaughter an offer she couldn’t refuse: free room and board if she helped him keep up the house. An elementary school art teacher, Maggie was happy to step in for a little financial relief as she tried to navigate the churlish economy.
If he never told her that he was perfectly capable of taking care of the house by himself, it didn’t quite matter. The company was more than enough. And if when she smiled she looked just a little like her namesake and it warmed his heart… well, that wasn’t a bad thing, either.
The best part, he’d found though, was that it was hilariously funny to drive his granddaughter crazy. He’d lived through the early decades of the 21st century as a young man. He’d learned how to navigate the internet, interface with the most complicated technology there was to offer, and listened to music that wouldn’t be written for years to come. He loved watching her face as he sang along to Billie Eilish on the radio or realize that she didn’t have to explain to him how to use an iPad or Facetime.
~*~
She yelled at him the first snowfall. Skidded her car (all-wheel drive, thank goodness he’d convinced her to get the newest model) into the freshly shoveled driveway and tore out of the driver’s seat, yelling at him a mile a minute.
They’ll think I’m some kind of self-centered princess letting a centenarian shovel this and try to kill himself!  She’d yelled, trying to take the shovel from his hands.
He was still stronger than he should be, and held his ground. I don’t want you hurting yourself on this stuff.
Me? She’s screeched, and he’d laughed. He couldn’t help but smile and find her concern at least a little comical. Deep down he understood, knew that he should be trying to sell his age a little more, be trying to hide that he was still strong and fast and in better shape than some of his middle-aged neighbors.
As much as he’d like to push her off, tell her to go inside, he couldn’t. She wasn’t a self-centered princess, but she was his princess, and he bent to her whim like a branch in the wind. He’d kissed her on the head and finally handed her the shovel, leaving her the last bit of the path to her to clean up, and promised to take better care of himself.
She didn’t know that when she left for work, he still went down the basement and bench pressed 225 on an easy day.
~*~
She teased him about his record collection. Even though records had come back in style, she still thought it was silly to have a whole wall dedicated to them when she could access nearly all of musical history on her cell phone. He showed her his own digital playlists and popped in his airpods when he was reading sometimes, but he loved the sound the needle made when it hit the wax.
One night, when he couldn’t listen to her teasing anymore, no matter how good natured it was, he played dirty.
You know, there’s a new song coming out by one of those artists you like. WAP? Heard it’s a cover of a song your Nana and I used to dance to all the time.
Two weeks later, he heard the familiar opening bass to the song Barton had played incessantly in the gym while he was working out and had quoted for months, the song that he hadn’t been able to get away from even in the past with random phrases like macaroni in a pot popping into his head at the most inconvenient times.
Barely half a verse in she’d either shut it off or turned the music way lower. At dinner she couldn’t look at him.
That was not at cover, Pop Pop. And I don’t want to think about you and Nana like that… ever.
~*~
She cried when she came home, a year after Peggy’s death, to see Peggy’s beautiful vanity had been moved into her room, Peggy’s jewelry box on it front and center.
What did you do? She’d kept asking him, tears in her eyes.
She’d want you to have it. He knew it was the truth. He hugged her tight as she sniffed and knew he’d made the right decision. He remembered Peggy sitting with Maggie on her knee on the small stool, letting the girl paw through her necklaces and play with her big fluffy make-up brushes. Maggie reaching for her eyeshadow and Peggy deftly pulling it away. Peggy being just a little too slow with the lipstick and the toddler bouncing around the house, proudly showing off the circle on the bottom half of her face to anyone who would look at her.
They’d loved their boys, but Maggie had both of their hearts in a way they hadn’t been prepared for.
Steve had to make up and excuse to leave the house the next morning when Maggie came down to breakfast, wearing the single pearl drop necklace he’d gotten for Peggy on their 25th wedding anniversary and her signature red lipstick. It was a good pain, but the first time he saw her in her grandmother’s necklaces, it was pain none the less.
~*~ Spring 2018
He knew the date it was supposed to happen. He’d kept up enough to know that it would, too. His other self was out there, somewhere, fighting what would become the biggest battle of his life.
Steve decided to focus on the small things. He kept the house stocked up with food and drinks, nonperishables that would last months and even years, toilet paper and paper towels. He ordered big metal shelves for the basement and made sure there was enough for multiple people for the long haul.
He didn’t know what would happen to his family in the snap- who would make it and who wouldn’t, but he was going to be sure whoever survived would be set for the following months where there was chaos, food and water shortages, and fear.
It would be a long five years for anyone that was left.
Even though she was home most nights, he asked Maggie for a standing Thursday night date. Some nights he showed her how to keep the house up: where the water main was, how to shut it on and off, where the gas line was, what to do if the roof started leaking. He made notebooks full of lists of things to do, how-to’s for the house and for life, and even, when he was awake in the middle of the night, wrote her letters so she wouldn’t be lonely.
Somehow, he just knew it would be him this time. He had survived the first snap, but if there were two of him and one survived, the other, statistically, did not. Thanos was very clear on how half worked.
Maggie, at first, had been scared. His family knew he had a knack for predicting the future, but didn’t know quite why.
Are you dying? Maggie had asked, fearing the worst when she started to realize that their Thursday night take-out and movie date was about more than just spending time together.
No, he’d said so very often, I just want you to be ready for anything.
Despite all of her questions, she went along with it.
When the day came, he couldn’t quite keep the sadness out of his eyes. Couldn’t quite smile at her. They ate pizza in front of the TV, watching a comedy Maggie had picked. He kept his eyes on his watch. It was coming.
His fingers itched. Like he could already feel his cells pulling apart.
He reached out, taking her hand in his and covering it with is other hand. “Maggie, you know I love you, right?”
She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She’d sensed his anxiety all day. “Of course, I do. And I love you, Pop Pop.”
He looked away and then back at her. “I promise you, whatever happens, I’m alright, and I’ll be back.”
“Pop Pop,” her eyes filled with tears, “What are you talking about?”
He shook his head, “I’ve left you everything you’ll need, and I promise I’ll be back.”
A tear fell from her eye as she squeezed his hand tighter. “But where…”
It was as if the world went silent as it started to happen. Though the television droned on in the background, he could swear the air was stiller. He started to see the dust fill the air and tried not to breathe.
But it was wrong.
It wasn’t him.
Her hand was falling to nothing in his, the fear in her eyes haunting as the skin of her cheeks flecked into the air, swirling before falling along with the rest of her into a pile on the couch.
It was so fast. So fast.
And it wasn’t him.
“No…” The word fell from his lips as a whisper, sobs starting to form in his throat.
~*~
He wondered, nearly every night for five years, if Thanos knew. If it had somehow been a conscious choice to keep him alive, to make him suffer just a little more. To make him watch his other self on television trying to promote healing.
Sometimes, he realized that this was a blessing. His sons and granddaughter were safe while they were snapped, protected by the fabric of the universe. Bucky had told him that he didn’t remember anything from being snapped, didn’t feel any different when he woke up than if he’d taken a long, heavy nap.
Somewhere, his family was taking the universe’s longest nap without him.
But they’d be spared these memories. They’d be spared lonely nights of missing loved ones and too little to eat while the world sorted out the jobs that were suddenly empty to keep things running for those that were left behind.
They’d be spared the fear of the gangs that started roaming the streets of half abandoned cities, looting for food and clothes in stores that had never officially closed but also couldn’t open with their owners simply gone.
They’d be spared the rolling blackouts and the contaminated water scares.
They’d be spared the fear of the country as the government suddenly found itself missing elected officials and the infighting and the rhetoric that came with martial law and hasty elections.  
They’d be spared so, so much pain and loss.
Every day, he relived it all, twice over.
He counted every day for five years, making his way through each week and month motivated by only one thought: they were coming back. He needed to be ready for them, for her.
He helped his daughter in law keep their house, managed his other son’s apartment in DC and kept his things ready and waiting, made sure Maggie’s things were safe and in working order, made sure her bank account stayed open and her phone bill was paid. He’d never, not once, considered he’d be the one left behind, and the logistics of all there was to do left him busy for the first few weeks.
Everyone told him his hope that the dusted would return was infectious, but after the first year, people stopped listening. He knew, for a fact, they’d come back, but everyone else didn’t. Even the past him was operating on the idea that they’d never be back.
Some days he didn’t make it out of bed. He laid there, talking to the ceiling, whispering to Peggy, wishing she could talk back, wishing she could be one of the ones brought back. He missed her with a ferocity that hadn’t changed since the first time he’d been in this time, but had only been tempered and strengthened by a lifetime together.
As the days drew closer to the five-year mark, he began to make arrangements.
~*~ October 2023
He cleaned the living room and set it to the way it had been that night. He pulled out every note and letter he’d written Maggie and his children and put them in the kitchen, ready and waiting.
He sat on the couch, facing the blank television, a new, piping hot, pepperoni pizza sitting in front of him, untouched.
He still couldn’t eat.
He still didn’t know if this was the right timeline. As he’d gotten closer to this day his faith had wavered. What if all he’d come to believe wasn’t true? What if this wasn’t the one fourteen million? He wanted to believe, but he didn’t know for sure.
He looked at his watch, watching as the seconds ticked by. What were a few seconds to him? He’d lived more than one lifetime, and that had been enough. He had barely made it through these five years the first time. The second time had almost truly broken him. He was ready for this to be over. He was ready to stop having to deal with loss and to be able to live whatever time he had left with the family he loved.
He held out his hand, and waited.
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shyvioletcat · 5 years ago
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE A PART 3 FOR STUPID REGRETS!!!!!!!!!!!! Love your work by the way!
Actually Part 5... but using asks is easier formatting on my ipad.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
EDIT: MASTERLIST
~~~~~
Aelin sat at the table setting on her back porch, a glass of lemonade in front of her. It had lost her focus a while ago, she was too busy watching the adventures of her son in the backyard. He was armed with a stick, Rowan with another as he taught Dylan some sword fighting moves. Dylan took it all fairly seriously as Rowan tapped his foot with his stick to make sure he was standing right. Then Rowan lifted his ‘sword’ and Dylan went for him. The clacking sound of wood on wood rang throughout the backyard and Aelin smiled as Rowan narrowly dodged a hard jab to the ribs.
“He’s so good with him. I haven’t seen Dylan smile like that in a very long time,” Aelin’s mother said quietly from beside her.
Since his father died, is what Evalin left unsaid.
Rowan laughed as Dylan managed to poke him in the ribs. The sweet boy apologised profusely but Rowan assured him he was fine. Then they were raising their pretend swords again.
“I didn’t know Rowan knew fencing,” Evalin commented.
Aelin held in her snort. “He doesn’t. He’s just watched a lot of Star Wars.”
Evalin chuckled softly and Aelin smiled.
Aelin took a sip of her lemonade. “Dylan really loves him. Rowan has been great for him.”
“What about you?”
Aelin looked at her mother and her loaded question. “What do you mean ‘what about me’?”
Evalin just gave her a long look. Aelin sighed and looked back out to where Rowan and Dylan played. It was 2 years since Rowan had walked her home that evening when they had finally bridged that gap between them. He’d become her best friend again, and he’d been a godsend with Dylan, being there for both of them as they found their way out of the darkness of grief. Rowan had never asked for more than she was willing to give. And gods, Aelin wasn’t even sure if Rowan would still want her in that way after everything. But for a few months now Aelin had been tempted to ask him, but something held her back.
Her mother reached out and gripped her hand. “I think Sam would want you to be happy.”
Aelin looked up to the blue sky as tears began to sting at the corner of her eyes. “I don’t want it to feel like I’m betraying him.” Aelin said, her voice thick as she desperately tried to hold back her tears.
“Fireheart, no. You loved him, you grieved for him, you honour him everyday with how much you love your son. If you’re ready to love again I have no doubt in my mind that Sam would be happy for you,” Evalin said.
Aelin felt a tear fall from her eye and quickly wiped it away before Dylan or Rowan could see. “You really think so?”
Evalin stood and pressed a kiss to Aelin’s head. “I do.”
~~~~~
After their little chat, Aelin’s mother had left to get dinner ready at her own home leaving Aelin to think about everything she had said. Aelin had watched Rowan and Dylan play for a bit longer before she went inside herself and put their dinner of mac and cheese in the oven.
Then she had gone to her bedroom, and stood in front of her dresser. She looked at her wedding rings in the box, ran her fingers over them. She hadn’t worn them in years, she had stopped almost as soon as Sam had died, the weight too heavy on her finger. She looked up at the photo she kept by them, it was one of her favourites from their wedding reception. Sam had just announced to their guests that she was pregnant and his smile was unrestrained. That moment was probably one of the times she’d seen him at his happiest.
So gently she ran her fingers over his face. “You’ll always be a part of me Sam, a part of our lives. I’ll miss you, everyday I’ll wish you were here. There will always be a part of my heart that belongs to you.” Aelin didn’t say anything more as she closed the lid on her rings and left the room.
That had been a few hours ago. Rowan had stayed for dinner on Dylan’s insistence and then for a movie as well. They had put on one of the Star Wars movies and Dylan had tucked himself into Rowan’s side. The way Rowan had let him, not even batting an eye, had Aelin’s chest aching at the sight. The 6 year old had lasted until about half way through before he fell asleep and that had Rowan smiling down at the boy as he kept watching.
Aelin gathered up the empty popcorn bowls from the living room and took them to the kitchen and started to back the dishwasher. She was almost done when she heard Rowan come in.
“Can I help?” He offered.
Aelin shook her head. “No, I’m just about done.”
Rowan crossed his arms and lent on the bench. “I thought he’d wake up when I moved, but he is out.”
Aelin laughed. “That was some serious sword fighting this afternoon. I’m not surprised.”
Rowan’s chuckle made her look up. His harsh, handsome face held a gentleness and a softness to it that she had missed all those years they had been apart.
“Aelin what is it?” Rowan asked quietly.
He must have noticed her stare, and now Aelin didn’t know what to do. She felt tears in her eyes again, exactly why she didn’t know. Rowan stepped up to her, his finger gently pushing her chin up so she looked into his face.
“What is it?”
“Do you love me, Rowan?” Aelin whispered.
Rowan looked at her, his eyes reading everything she couldn’t say. “I never stopped.”
Aelin didn’t think. Her arms went around his neck and she pressed her lips to his. It took him a moment to react, Aelin’s heart stuttered in that moment of hesitation, but then he was kissing her back. His hand rested on her hips as hers found their way to his shoulders.
“Mum!”
Aelin broke the kiss as her son called for her. “Coming, Dylan!”
Rowan smiled down at her, and Aelin couldn’t help but smile back.
“Are you sure about this?” Aelin asked.
Rowan kissed her again. “I have many regrets in my life Aelin, but I won’t regret this.”
~~~~~
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britonell · 4 years ago
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For @inukag-week​ 2020!
A short and sweet follow-up to Hermit’s Haven, and this time Inuyasha encounters a different kind of visitor...
Rated T for Inuyasha’s swearing.
Hermit’s Dilemma
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Inuyasha stared at the cub, trying to ignore the distinct sense of déjà vu.
The Ezo brown bears were pretty common around these parts, at least enough to be a minor nuisance during deer hunting season, but they were almost always adult males. The only time he had come this close to a cub was when he had followed the village fishermen to the waterfalls and a female and her cubs had joined their group, apparently using the men’s presence to shake off a hostile male bear. This time there was no mama bear, just a lone cub.
Said bear cub sat on his furry little haunches, peering up at the dog-eared man.
Wasn’t this the same place where he first spotted Hachi?
More importantly, what the hell was a bear cub doing all on his own, and so damn close to his house? Shouldn’t this scrawny little guy be in a cozy den with his mother, dozing off until spring? 
Inuyasha looked around once more, ears flicking back. Nope, no other bears nearby. Perhaps the mother had gone out to scavenge for acorns one last time and had been struck by a vehicle, or wandered into some other residential area and met the business end of a rifle.
Well fuck-a-doodle-doo.
That was how Inuyasha found himself crossing the icy bridge with a bear cub in his arms, making his way to—
Wait a minute, there’s no way the dogs would stay calm if he showed up with a squirming bear cub. Maybe he could hand him off to Miroku, that guy probably knew more about bears. Crap, was it even legal to bring a bear cub indoors? His residence was technically a shelter, would his non-profit get in trouble? It’s not like he was going to keep the cub. He should head to the agricultural school ASAP, there had to be staff members with experience in handling wild animals.
He froze mid-step and the curious cub glanced up at him.
Shit, shit, shit, he couldn’t go to the school now, Kagome was picking up her mother and grandfather from the airport and she had made him promise, multiple times, that he would be in the village to greet them when they arrived.
He would stay put, he had assured her. He knew how important this was for her, considering she hadn’t gone back to Tokyo for Christmas. He wasn’t gonna disappear like a coward. Not like he cared if city folks visited his village. It’s not like they were the same people that drove him and his mother out of their old apartment. It wasn’t a problem.
Really.
The bear cub let loose a shrill squeal and Inuyasha nearly flung the cub up into the air before stopping himself. Instead, he held the cub in front of him like a ticking bomb.
Did he need milk? Could bears drink cow milk? Maybe he was cold. Did he need to put him in his jacket? Maybe the cub was scared. Should he swaddle him? Kagome did say he had a knack for swaddling the dogs. The chihuahuas usually liked it. And once the bear quieted down he could hide him in a spare room until morning. Right, this would work. Absolutely. Totally.
Mind made up, he went up to Miroku’s house and slid the kitchen window open.
“Yo, keep an eye on the dogs, will ya?” Inuyasha shouted, making sure to keep the bear out of sight. If what he was doing was against the law, he wasn’t going to drag anyone else into legal trouble.
Miroku poked his head into the hallway. “Gotcha! And for goodness’s sake, use the front door.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Inuyasha grumbled. They both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Miroku could just as easily install a lock on the old window, but Inuyasha had a feeling he never would. Miroku had been insistent on not altering the original design of the house.
That was...nice.
“Hi Inuyasha!” Sango called from somewhere down the hall. “We made yakidango earlier. Do you want some?”
“Uh...maybe later. Thanks.” Inuyasha gingerly closed the window and stepped back.
Yeah. That was nice too. The elderly villagers used to offer him food. They were being neighborly, or so they claimed.
Not that Sango was a neighbor. Yet. He knew she was looking at a couple of houses. That fox demon from the agricultural school, Shippo, was probably going to move in soon.
The bear squealed again, prompting Inuyasha to quicken his pace.
Kagome’s front door was unlocked, as usual. He had told her to start locking the door but no one here really worried about security, what with him and all the dogs running around. She had at least promised to lock the door...after making a key for him.
Fuck, he was not blushing at the thought.
He stomped into the living room and rummaged through her dresser until he pulled out a fluffy pink blanket.
Wrap the blanket around like this, tuck the paws in here, rub his head like so, pat his tummy to soothe him, and voila. Inuyasha examined his handiwork with a satisfied grin, which wilted a little at the realization that he was too adept at this.
The bear peeked up over the edge of the blanket and eyed him, as if waiting for something. Inuyasha hoped he wasn’t expecting a lullaby. Then again, Kagome did say music can calm down dogs in stressful situations.
He reached for Kagome’s iPad and scrolled for a while. Hmm, this would do.
Kuma Sanbiki
He sat down cross-legged on the floor and held the bear burrito close to his chest, mumbling the same lyrics that he used to sing with his mother.
Kuma sanbiki issho ni sunde,
Papa kuma, mama kuma, akachan kuma—
“Eep!”
Inuyasha froze and slowly looked up. Kagome was doubled over, shoulders trembling, hands covering her face. He would’ve thought she was in pain if he didn’t catch a delighted giggle. A woman who was clearly her mother stood by the entrance, one hand resting on a suitcase and the other over her heart, watching the bundle in his arms with dewy eyes.
“What’s all this then?” An elderly man walked in, kicking his shoes off in a huff. “Don’t just stand there, we need to—young man, you’re holding the baby wrong.”
Inuyasha could do nothing but sit still and watch the elderly man saunter up to him.
“Now see here, if you want to calm a young one—that’s a bear.”
“What?” the woman, henceforth known as Mama Higurashi in his head, said.
“A bear?” Kagome chortled, her face still red.
Busted.
“Err…” Three sets of eyes were on him. “I found a bear cub,” he finally confessed.
Word got out pretty quickly, mainly because Kagome ran out to get Miroku’s expensive camera equipment “for that money shot,” and both Miroku and Sango came over to greet the guests as well as take a look at the bear cub.
“I can’t believe you swaddled a bear!” Kagome giggled, hours after the fact.
“Bear cub,” Inuyasha corrected, his forehead firmly planted on his kotatsu. It had been decided that Sango would watch the cub for the night and bring the bear to the school in the morning, because apparently the school’s resident bear expert was her uncle.
Stupid, Inuyasha thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he should’ve just brought the cub to Sango in the first place. Stupid.
“I can’t wait to get those pictures on my laptop.”
He lifted his head to glare at her. “So you can laugh at me some more?”
“I wasn’t laughing at you!”
“Uh-huh.”
She scooted over to snuggle up to him, ignoring his sputtering protests and unflattering comparisons to Pen-Pen. “I was losing it because it was too adorable for my little ol’ heart. You’re gonna make a girl faint with your paternal instincts.”
He tried really, really hard not to let her words, or the way she was twirling his forelock, affect him. “Yeah, sure. OK.”
“But you know,” she said with a coy smile. “I do have a confession.”
Inuyasha glanced at her suspiciously.
“I would’ve preferred seeing you holding a baby. My baby.”
He didn’t remember much after that because his brain short-circuited and he went on autopilot.
(Kagome inwardly cursed. Asking Miroku on how to confess like a wrecking ball had not been one of her best ideas.)
The bombshells didn’t end there, though. The next morning, after joining the Higurashi family for breakfast, he was helping Mama Higurashi wash the dishes when she nonchalantly proved just how much her daughter took after her.
“You should’ve joined us for dinner last night. Grandpa and I had a question and Kagome had no idea what the answer was.”
“Oh,” was Inuyasha’s reply.
“I’m sure it’s something my daughter has been wondering about for a while.”
“Ah.” Not freaking out, Inuyasha mentally repeated over and over again. 
“And, I must admit, I would like to know as well. This is a good time to ask, don’t you think? No need to be modest when you answer.”
“Umm…” Sirens blared in his head.
“Which do you prefer,” she said airily, “small weddings or big weddings?”
~*~
AN: The Higurashi women sure love to drop bombshells. Inuyasha’s soul temporarily left the mortal plane of existence. He’ll be fine.
For the children’s song I had to decide between what Inuyasha ultimately chose or this one: Mori no Kuma-san. I’m more familiar with the latter but I figured the song about the bear family was more appropriate for the situation.
Also, Inuyasha waiting for Kagome is essentially the Patrick waiting for SpongeBob scene. Oh Inuyasha, you poor, hopeless puppy.
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