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bittrlys · 5 months ago

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The Dragon Prince season 6 is like watching people write themselves into a corner in real time. Exciting! Massive spoilers ahead, of course.

THE GOOD

Opening on Aaravos crying was a very strong choice, this is the actual 'Mystery of Aaravos' type content I've been waiting for

Terry picking up Viren while they're excited about him being alive is very cute

As ever, Terry being extremely ride or die is 👍

Terry taking care of Claudia was very sweet; Terry cutting Claudia's hair and Claudia's new haircut in general. Cute.

Viren and Claudia on the beach, "No parent wants their child to suffer for them." Oof.

In general, I was quite happy with everything Viren, Claudia, and even Soren, and I actually wrote a note of "i hate soren" at the start because I thought we were gearing up for another season of him just being a bad joke machine with no real character or feelings to speak of. But then they gave him, like, actual pathos! They let him interact with people in a way that feels human! They let him be resentful and complicated! Wow! Magefam is so back baby!

Viren trying to reconcile with Soren and be a better example for Claudia really got to me. His final sacrifice (OMG CRIMINAL BY FIONA APPLE JUST CAME ON SHUFFLE.......WHAT I NEED IS A GOOD DEFENSE CUS I'M FEELING LIKE A CRIMINAL.......AND I NEED TO BE REDEEMED TO THE ONE I'VE SINNED AGAINST.....) is tied so strongly to his children and that feels like a natural place to leave his character. Now, I've been saying forever that he was going to get a redemption via death, and figured Aaravos would be the one pulling the trigger, so none of that surprised me, but I thought the actual execution was generally good. I do have some more negative thoughts but I'll save those for later.

Viren is very good at justifying himself, and I like that you see him falling back into that, at times struggling with it, at times not even catching himself doing it. It feels very real. At the same time, I don't think he's ever seen himself as a hero, so it was interesting to let him go out on such a heroic note.

Viren's kind of abuse-coded (not actually abusive, IMO, but I understand if this makes people uncomfortable in a similar way) act of forcing Lissa to cry into the vial is interesting. It echoes him taking Sarai's last breath.

Him writing out his whole confession on this subject and then burning it because he realized it was only going to do him good was also very nice.

Though I wish Claudia had stuck by her 'I'm going solo' guns a little longer, I still think there's something to how she is so incapable of being alone, of thinking for herself, and desperately seeks direction. She is literally just like her dad, and it makes them both easy targets for Aaravos.

Like, Viren being such a force that Claudia easily followed him, then Claudia being such a force that Soren and Terry both easily followed her, and Aaravos being a supreme force Viren and Claudia both easily follow because at heart, they're more followers than leaders despite the force of their personalities and ambitions -- it's interesting.

Aaravos using Sol Regem to casually destroy a kingdom and kill Viren just as a small step in his plan is pretty fun. We love a grandiose villain!

Looking forward to Claudia and Aaravos. She's in some ways even more unequipped than Viren to handle Aaravos's manipulations, but at the same time, she's a lot more unpredictable than Viren. If this leads up to a confrontation between them, I think that could be really cool.

Aaravos tragic backstory with deleted child was really not on my bingo card at all -- I never thought 'noble revenge' would be his motivation. I like how this parallels him to Viren.

Aaravos crying enough to fill a sea is great imagery

The lore of the startouch elves being actual stars that descend is SO COOL. This is like, the first bit of worldbuilding in this show that's actually seriously impressed me. I love it.

Actual lore as to why humans don't have magic. Well. Not entirely. But it's better than what we had.

I liked Amaya and Janai's wedding looks. Cute.

Janai like Ehe I'll bring out my armies after I get married 😜 is funny. She isn't a very good queen but she is the moment! The gossip blogs would love her.

Ezran eating shit and not having his """diplomacy""" work out. LMAO.

SOL REGEM DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Kinda getting a y'know vibe from Soren and Corvus. I wouldn't mind that. I like that Corvus feels a little more tolerant of Soren than everyone else. It's funny Soren is like finally I'm away from my shit family but his new friends don't seem to care about him at all. Go and be totally free of all this, dude, or get a boyfriend.

Runaan back just when I was starting to think this show really hates gay males.

Rayla correcting her assumption about the sex of the diary's author was cute with the voice over changing. (cont...)

THE BAD

(... cont.) Did unfortunately then make it feel like "Had to be a woman because the author will be pining for a man."

Why is Zym STILL just a dog. Bro. It's like if all through Avatar you had to be aware Appa was going to be king someday. STOP BARKING.

Waiting for the whole cast to become vegetarians and somehow I suspect that will not be happening

When Claudia is listing the spell ingredients she could harvest from that cat thing I was just desperate to have Terry go, "Well, some of those could be ethically harvested, right?"

I find prophecies fairly corny as a writing tool and I get why they're going there -- predicted futures are the source of the anti-human oppression -- but still, I sighed.

Luna Tenebris putting a collar on her pet feels like, weird, right? Right? Right? She's not human and dragons otherwise seem so Respect all magical creatures. (Allegedly.) What is the uneven treatment of animals in this universe.

Naming your episode Red Wedding and I don't see a bloodbath ... oh, come on.

That ramble about ships from Caleb. Shudder.

Jeez, who is Rayla going to save? Her uncle who is an actual character or her backstory parents who are obviously happy and at peace? God forbid one of our main heroes has an actual hard choice to make.

Related: Caleb's 5 second rehab from dark magic.

Making his inner truth being about one other person is ... well ....

Cutting from Viren's rapidly cooling corpse to Lujanne receiving a sensual back massage was certainly a Choice.

Viren missing his wife THIS MUCH when he's barely mentioned her up to now was a little weird. I honestly think they saw the homoerotic interpretations of the very intense dynamics he had with Harrow and Aaravos and have been steadily backpedalling from that. Don't get me wrong, I can believe he loved her and he misses her, but the degree of it feels totally unearned.

I get children's media will have mascots for the children, normally I don't mind them, but dear god this show is hitting critical mass on annoying sidekicks (Zym counts as a very big one and he's already nigh unbearable.)

THE UGLY

I can imagine that the descendants of the human children Leola granted magic to are now able to do magic naturally and this could be the lore behind either Caleb or Ezran's abilities. I actually don't mind this as finally being in-universe explanation for this disparity that isn't just 'they want it more' or whatever, but it doesn't help this show's "Better People Are Born Better" messaging. Now, in that vein ...

King Ezran is a KING. Have we mentioned this? He's a king. He's divinely ordained to be above everyone else. You must show him respect because he's KING. Even Rayla emphasizes what a KING he is. BOW BEFORE HIM.

Ezran's idea of """diplomacy""" is just going "Be nice, please." (Followed by a threat LMAO.) "Go live somewhere else." WHERE. What if they try to occupy territory that isn't theirs? Xadian society seems quite separated and territorial. Ezran doesn't consider this. He doesn't consider anything. He has no actual diplomatic skills because he never offers anything, he just expects people to listen to him because he's KING.

You know in Parasite when they're like Of course the rich people are nice, they can afford to be? When Ezran was going I'm a king and I can choose kindness I was like, You're king because of an accident of your birth, and all your privilege and people looking out for you allows you to operate the way you do.

(Janai having an evil brother who is Not The True Heir To The Throne and Trying To Steal It is just part of the show's overall obsession with this narrative -- see also Viren coming from a less privileged background.)

Of course it's still funny to see Ezran be continuously characterized as So Compassionate, So Loving but when it comes to say, Not burning his own people alive or Extending the hand of kindness to one of his oldest childhood friends or her father, he just turns that shit off. This could be interesting hypocrisy if I thought the show was trying to intentionally paint him this way, instead of just wanting him to not be a total pushover because he's THE KING!!! ALL BOW BEFORE THE KING!!!!

The unbelievable frustration caused by a scene where Claudia is begging to not have to use dark magic -- Terry coming in and saving the day with natural magic -- Claudia staring at the peaceful solution and realizing she needs to change -- BUT IT'S STILL A FUNDAMENTAL DISPARITY IN HOW HUMANS CAN EXIST IN THIS WORLD? Is Claudia supposed to die because dark magic is too wrong to use? Now we have the reveal that humans are being actively denied magic I'm hesitantly hopeful they may get some justice in this regard, but it doesn't change the reality of humans right now. What are humans supposed to do? Rely on others for help? Oh, sure, most of the elves and dragons we meet now are just so nice and helpful to humans, because of the show's 'bad apple' approach to prejudice I've mentioned before, but we know that wasn't always the case.

Like, this actual reminder that the difference in power between a single dragon and a human settlement, and unlike the last time we're on the side of humans this time so you can better appreciate the horror of it ... it's depressing to feel like "Only by grace of your betters do you survive." It's echoes of Janai's 'forgiveness' of the human who put out the fire of that elf who assaulted her. "Aren't you lucky we're so NICE?"

This is all compounded by what I meant at the start of my review, that they've written themselves into a corner, especially wrt dark magic. In universe Soren sees no choice but to ask his father to do dark magic, something all the characters scold each other for constantly. Out of universe, the writers had a huge fuck off dragon come along to commit genocide against the humans and the only realistic solution is .... having Viren do dark magic, something the narrative constantly reinforces as bad. They ultimately frame this act as heroic, and according to a writer (I believe) on the discord, he speaks the spell forward to represent how this act of inherent good overcomes the "inherent evil" of dark magic (quotation marks theirs, interestingly.) I think the writers, for the most part, clearly like Viren and Claudia a lot, and like giving them 'big moments' with dark magic ... but this is part of the reason why the show has continuously reinforced a NEED for dark magic without giving any viable solution for the average human who doesn't have natural magical powers or is friends with dragons and elves like our main heroes. Ultimately, it feels hypocritical of the show to keep going on about the evil of dark magic (now very firmly an addiction metaphor) while having no solution for humans in tricky situations that aren't "magic you and only you can do, for some reason" or "queen dragon who somehow still isn't dead dear god coming to save you" or, y'know, "dark magic." Only one of these is really viable for the average person.

Like, you make it an addiction metaphor, but where's the alternative? Vampires need to drink blood to survive but vampire series often show vampires refusing to drink human blood as an addiction metaphor ... they drink animal blood instead, or something, and you get the metaphor. Right now, in TDP, it's either, do dark magic and suffer, or don't do dark magic and ... suffer more? Okay. I'm not saying life has to be fair or that there isn't value in accepting loss, but when Viren scolds Kpp'Ar for having all his fun with dark magic and then very callously dismissing Viren's fear for his son, I felt that. Viren isn't begging for a beer here. He's begging to save his son. Addiction metaphors need to match the scale and reality of what is being shown to you.

Sorry, I'm now going to harp on more about the Your Betters Are Born Better stuff now because I was actually enjoying (you know, tearfully so) Viren's death until his final lines. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GASPED!!!!!!!! HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!! Like, let me get it out of the way, I get it echoes his last exchange to Harrow and his loyalty to Harrow is tied to his loyalty to Katolis, and they're saying "He was power hungry but now he is acting in a way that is purely, totally selfless for maybe the first time in his life," which is fine. The problem is, I have sat through six seasons of this show kissing royal ass. I have seen Aanya (shudder) mock him for not being a real noble-born ruler. I have seen Ezran's divine authority be reinforced time and again, and seen Viren throw himself submissively before his King to submit to his judgement as King, not as someone he once hurt. I have been reminded time and again that less privileged people who want the power necessary to succeed in a world biased against them are power-hungry lunatics unless they submit themselves enough to the Supreme Order of the world. So to have Viren's last words be him reinforcing that the most heroic thing he can ever be is A LOYAL SERVANT is just ... horrible. If they'd just kept the framing of Viren's death on his love for his family, it would have been way, way better.

Altogether I uh guess the season was mostly fine. They actually did a better job tying disparate narratives together with common themes which I appreciate. I liked the magefam stuff. I hope Soren eventually learns the stuff Viren chose not to tell him. I hope there's realistic forward growth on the attitude towards dark magic and why humans feel they need it, like some acknowledgement that Katolis was only saved because of Viren (make that two nations he has explicitly saved.) Maybe even Ezran can take a break from being unbearably sanctimonious to properly acknowledge his sacrifice. That would be nice!

I really hope humans get some justice for how they've been actively denied a valuable resource. It seems a self-fulfilling prophecy (they punished Leola for giving humans magic, this made Aaravos go darksided, Aaravos gave humans dark magic, humans are very set against the magical community for the way they've been treated so they're more callous about using dark magic) so I hope the ultimate lesson won't be "humans don't deserve this" but "humans only ended up here because they were treated like they don't deserve it, but they do, by right of existing as beings in this world." If Callum (+ Ezran) end the series as the only or some of the only humans with magic powers, I'm going to eat drywall.

#tdp critical #*#*prepares my drywall just in case*#tdp spoilers #the dragon prince spoilers #my stuff is always okay to reblog btw!

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just-jordie-things · 1 year ago

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shades of cool - zen'in naoya

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

word count: 16.5k warnings: swearing. a semi-soft naoya fic bcuz i'm a f r e a k. summary: naoya doesn't need to love you when the fate of your arranged marriage had been written when you were only kids. and of course, he'd never actually fall for you. more info: arranged marriage!au enemies (sorta) to friends (sorta) to lovers, obviously he's out of character a/n: i am so sick in the head for writing this. adding him to this even was such a... choice. don't request stuff for him i will delete the ask in shame <3 ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[ but i can’t fix him, can’t make him better. and i can’t do nothing about his strange weather. cause you are unfixable. i can’t break through your world. cause you live in shades of cool. your heart is unbreakable ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

SUMMER, 1995

He’s six years old when Naoya first meets (y/l/n) (y/n). She’s freshly six and she looks it, too. Chubby cheeks colored pink from her obvious shyness. She’s standing behind her father’s legs, reaching for his hand even though he’s repeatedly dodged her hold or swatted her hand away.

Naoya’s spying on the scene in the entryway of the Zen’in estate, peeking through the second floor railing with a curious sort of glare on his face. He’d heard whispers among the staff of a visitor from one of the more powerful clans, and while normally Naoya couldn’t care less about the many people coming in and out of the compound, when he’d heard his own name mentioned one too many times in correlation with this visitor, intrigue got the best of him.

And surely she was the reason why. She was no older than him, dressed in a silk kimono that had to have been tailored just for her, and her hair swept back into a jeweled butterfly clip that sat at the back of her head. Although half of her hair was falling out of it, seeing as the hand that wasn’t desperately reaching for her father’s was tugging at the uncomfortable claw secured against her scalp, trying to relieve the tension of her hair being pulled so tightly. Naoya could almost scoff at how childish she looked.

He’s only been spying for a few minutes before his father is turning around and staring straight at him, the marble railings doing nothing to hide his crouching stature. His stomach drops with fear, expecting to be scolded and punished for eavesdropping, even though he hadn’t heard a thing the adults were saying. Instead, the head of the Zen’in clan beckons his son to descend the stairs and meet their visitor.

And although he wants to, he doesn’t hesitate. He’s upright and quickly making his way down to courteously introduce himself to their guests.

“Naoya, this is the head of the (y/l/n) Clan, you remember him, yes?” Naobito gestured to the man still swatting away at his daughter’s hand, prompting Naoya to tilt forward in a respectful bow.

“Yes, sir”

“It just so happens his daughter is your age,” Naobito continues, directing his gaze to where she stood.

She was just a small thing, so tiny Naoya could hardly believe she was even six years old. She was merely a pipsqueak, and her demeanor seemed so, too. Her eyes could barely meet his, opting instead to stare at his shoes. If his father weren’t standing there, he would’ve scoffed and walked away without so much as a second glance.

“It would be nice if you two could… get along,” Even Naobito seemed uncertain of this union. His son’s apprehension was clear in his rigid stance and bored expression, and the young (y/l/n) didn’t seem like she could hold her own. If that were the case, she didn’t stand a chance with his ruthless son. “Why don’t you show her around the compound while the adults chat, hm? Be a proper host”

Naoya looks up at his father, silently asking if this was the best use of his time. Naobito’s expression was unmoving, and unforgiving. There was no getting out of this, then.

“Fine” Naoya huffs, and he regrets the attitude when his father’s hand smacks up the back of his head. He doesn’t say anything else as he nods for the girl to follow him.

Once more she reaches for her father, only to be gently pushed towards Naoya, and against her will, she follows behind him.

She’s silent as he boredly walks her through each room, pointing here and there at cursed tools he wanted to show off, or expensive art he couldn’t care less about. A few times, Naoya even had to check over his shoulder that she was even still with him. She was like a mouse. If it weren’t for her buzzing cursed energy, he could forget she was there at all.

Every time he checks on her and her eyes meet his, his brows furrow. He couldn’t explain it, since she hadn’t actually said a word to him yet, but something about her irked him. He was certain there wasn’t a chance in hell they were going to be friends.

��What’s your deal anyways?”

His question is abrupt, and full of cruelty. He halts suddenly right before he’s about to show her the lame gardens that the staff tends to. The girl merely blinks, seemingly unphased by his blatant rudeness. At this point, he’s wondering if she’s a mute, or maybe just too stupid to—

“My deal?” She repeats, speaking for the first time.

Her voice isn’t as timid as he would have expected. It’s soft, but there’s an underlying boldness there, as though she were just waiting for her chance to tear into him. It flips a switch in him to put his guard up, the prickle on his skin reminding him of his older brothers’ torment. Perhaps she was just like them, playing the long game, stringing him along into thinking she was just another pipsqueak, when in reality she was about to pin him down and tie him up like a hog. Or at least, that’s what his brothers would have done.

“I dunno,” She hums, shrugging her shoulders with her lame answer. Naoya’s lip curls into an irritated snarl. He certainly wasn’t expecting that. “My dad said I had to come”

That’s all the more she tells him, and young Naoya scoffs. He’d only been around her for all of ten minutes and he was already over it.

“Whatever,” He mutters, pushing through the doors and not bothering to hold it open for her as she continues to follow him outdoors. “Just try to keep up, pipsqueak. Let’s get this over with”

And that’s exactly how he feels the next few times her father brings her along on his visits to the compound. Impatient, hurried, and most of all, irritated. Whatever the point was for having her here was lost on Naoya. She didn’t appear all that interested either, so why torture the both of them?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

SPRING, 1997

They’re eight when Naoya finally comes to realize why the Zen’in and (y/l/n) Clans insist on the two of them spending so much time together. The idea makes his stomach churn and his throat fill with bile.

“You know this is all just an act, right?”

His words are sharp, as they always are, while (y/n’s) busy picking the weeds out of the grass around them. She insisted on gathering all the dandelions, no matter how much he criticized her for fawning over the dumb weed. After a few years of regular drop offs, where her father would smoke cigars with Zen’in Naobito and have adult conversation, she was stuck entertaining the young Zen’in.

Naoya wasn’t the most pleasant of company, when he did speak he never had anything nice to say, and when he wasn’t talking, he had a resting scowl on his face. Lucky for her, her patience seemed to know no bounds. Or perhaps she’d just gotten used to his shitty attitude.

(y/n) had grown up mastering the craft of being patient. Of smothering emotion from her face, especially ones such as disgust, or fear. Coming from a long line of sorcerers who had mastered the Reversed Cursed Technique, she was in line to be yet another higher grade sorcerer with the (y/l/n) name. Unfortunately, it had meant her training began young, and it was a gruesome lesson plan. She met many sorcerers who came to her estate after unruly battles and exorcisms, covered in laceration wounds or missing appendages. Any sign of weakness or apprehension had been taught out of her years before now. If she was too afraid to go near an injured sorcerer, there wasn’t a chance of her learning how to heal them. So it didn’t matter if it was a stranger or her own family crying out in agony as they tried to stop the heavy bleeding from a nasty injury, her first lesson was learning to keep a neutral face in the presence of gore.

This lesson came in handy during her visits with Naoya, as well.

“If you’re acting, you’re not all that good at it,” She replies. Her own choice of words are witty for an eight year old, snarky, even. But her voice is as soft as ever. “Or, are you trying to look like an ass all the time?”

When she looks up at him, her gap toothed smile is so large it takes up most of her face. She knows she’d gotten him good when he’s scowling and letting out an annoyed sound from the back of his throat. Truth be told, she didn’t have a clue as to what he was referring to, but the only way to keep herself amused during these little forced sessions was by picking dandelions and dishing his attitude back at him.

“You’ll never get a husband with that mouth,” Naoya bites back. “No self respecting man would ever want the hand of a girl that talks back”

She raises a brow at him, although her eyes are focused on the stems of a few yellow weeds in her hands as she diligently loops and knots them together. Her interest is far more captivated by the dying weed than the obnoxious brat keeping her company. Still, she pays him some attention, just for times’ sake.

“I don’t think I have to worry much about that,” She says with a small giggle, still knotting her pile of dandelions together. Naoya’s disinterested stare is focused on her handiwork as she calmly responds. He realizes distantly that she’s making a crown out of the damn things. He looks away then, thinking he was far too focused on her waste of time than he should be. “Don’t you think we’re a little young to have to think about marriage?” She asks.

Naoya sneers, his know-it-all attitude rearing it’s head as soon as it gets the chance.

“You don’t pay attention to anything, do you, pipsqueak?” He scoffs. (y/n) fights the urge to roll her eyes as she continues on with her crown. “You’re going to marry me”

Naoya’s filled with a sick sense of pride for an eight year old, revealing the big secret that their father’s had yet to share. He thinks he’s got her speechless now, and surely she’ll be shocked, maybe even cry. Naoya thinks he’d like to see her sniffle and whine over this news.

He’d certainly gagged when he’d heard the whispered rumors among the staff for the last few days. Anytime he’d heard their names brought up his nose would wrinkle, and he’d ball his hands into fists as he marched away from the ridiculous gossip.

But it’s silent for a few beats, and she appears as though she hasn’t even heard his announcement. His heartless grin begins to falter as he watches her admire her little ring of dandelions, lifting it to get a good look at it in the sun. A small smile stretches across her lips as she deems it finished, before setting it on her head.

“Were you listening?” His grin falls to a deep frown rather quickly.

(y/n) doesn’t let even a flicker of emotion cross her face as she finally turns to look at him. His dark eyes are wide with anticipation, and she knows he’s waiting for a dramatic reaction out of her. She’s not sure why, she’s never really been one for the theatrics, that was always him. Naoya was the one that wanted to march around, show off, and be relentlessly and pointlessly cruel. She was the one who sat and bore it without a word or any reaction at all, really. In the handful of times she’s been around him now, she had yet to understand his obnoxious personality.

“Yeah” She answers, simply, and without the notion of having anything more to say.

Naoya’s brows furrow harshly as he glares at her. He thinks he’ll never be able to understand this girl, much less get along with her. If she really was set to be his wife, he’d have to find every way he could to wiggle out of it.

“It’s an arranged marriage,” He spits out matter-of-factly. “Don’t you understand what that means?”

(y/n) nods her head, the loose crown of dandelions slipping around her ears.

“When we’re older, we’ll get married,” She replies. “It’s not that hard to figure out”

“You knew?” Naoya scoffs.

This time, she shakes her head.

“No, I didn’t,” She tells him, calm as ever. “But does it matter?

He blinks, his eyes wide and full of their usual nasty emotion, mixed with something else she’s never seen on him before. He almost looks lost.

“Don’t tell me you actually want that?” He asks, his voice lowering to a near whisper.

They were the only people in the gardens, always left alone to play and get to know each other, and they always sat there in mostly silence until it was time for her to go. Still, Naoya couldn’t bring himself to speak at a volume any higher than that. He couldn’t risk anyone possibly hearing his accusation.

To his displeasure, (y/n) shrugs. Shrugs. As if being arranged to marry him made no difference to her. As if she barely had any opinion of it at all. Sure, she might not have had a say, but she could think for herself, couldn’t she?

“I don’t really know anyone else,” She tells him, lifting the flower crown off her head to adjust some of the loose stems. “My parents insist on homeschooling me, so I don’t have friends. I’d rather marry someone I know than a stranger”

For the briefest of seconds, Naoya almost softens. He almost feels pity for her. He almost wishes things were different so neither one of them had to be in this position. But just as quickly as the thought crosses his mind, he’s bristling and snarling again.

“You can barely even manifest your cursed technique,” He scoffs. “You know that makes you weak, right?” His words are harsh, but judging from the lack of response from (y/n), he could almost believe she tuned him out completely. “What makes you think I would want a weak pipsqueak like you as my wife?”

Finally, she cracks, but not in the way he was hoping. Her eyes don’t water, she doesn’t sniffle, or even frown. She simply places the dandelion loop back on her head, and gives him a tiny, yet victorious smile.

“What makes you think you’ll have any choice in the matter?”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

That question sat with Naoya for longer than he would’ve liked. Months pass, and each time he’s forced to see her again, his stomach is filled with the unfamiliar sensation of anxiety. He hates it. Hates the chill that crawls up his spine every time he has to greet her at the door and they have to go sit in the garden for hours on end.

He doesn’t enjoy talking to her, in fact, he despises it. He hates the way every time she speaks her voice is soft, and full of whimsy. Even as she tells him she still hasn’t mastered her Reversed Curse Technique, she sounds hopeful. Too hopeful. By the time they’re ten years old, she’s still struggling to get the hang of it.

Naoya spends most of his time ignoring her, or reminding her of her weakness. (y/n) spends most of her time picking the dandelions as she wanders the gardens, and not ignoring him nearly as much as she should.

She simply couldn’t help it. She’d meant it when she’d told him he was the closest thing to a friend she’d had, after all. The exception being her tutors and a few cousins that would entertain her when they visited. But they had an obligation to be kind to her, the only daughter of the head of the (y/l/n) Clan. Naoya, despite being her betrothed, held no obligation to her at all, and he certainly acted like it.

She had yet to figure him out, but as months turned into years, she was slowly getting a grasp on it. He was more deeply insecure than he would ever admit, and as soon as someone stumbled upon those insecurities, they were scrutinized, blown to bits by his harsh words.

Naoya wasn’t one to give any piece of himself to anyone. No matter how often she’d try to know him better, in order to care for him better, (y/n) made little to no progress. She was lucky if he spent the day with his mouth shut. She’s not sure he’s ever said a kind thing in his life, and after a few years, she’d given up completely on hoping he’d try.

Still, she didn’t put up a fight when she was brought to the Zen’in compound. She smiled and bowed and followed the dark haired boy out to the garden where he’d sit and yank up the grass while she searched for dandelions, or maybe a ladybug. If she were to be his wife, there would be plenty of time to get to know him later. Maybe as he grew older he’d soften around the edges, and he’d be easier to be around.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

SUMMER, 2000

When they’re eleven, (y/n) announces that she’d been accepted into a private school.

She’s grinning from ear to ear, practically glowing with excitement as she goes on to tell Naoya all about the new classes she’ll get to take, but most of all, all the friends she’d get to meet. She talks to him more that day than she’d ever had before.

He sits in annoyance as he’s stuck listening to her talk about her uniform of all things. But he doesn’t have it in him to tell her to shut up. Maybe because for once, he could be deluded into thinking she’s enjoying her time with him today. Even though naturally, she’s only in a good mood because of the coming school year.

“Kind of dumb to go to a school with non-sorcerers, isn’t it?” Is all he has to say when she’s finally finished rambling about all the great things about her new school.

“You think?” She muses, intrigued by his opinion for reasons that were beyond him.

“It is if you spend all your time gossiping and learning stupid non-sorcerer things,” Naoya says decidedly. “You should be focused on your technique, pipsqueak. Not friends”

(y/n) hums thoughtfully in response. She knows he’s only jealous, seeing as he didn’t have any friends. Of course she couldn’t say anything of the sorts to him, he’d probably beat her up for it. Instead, she gifts him with her patience.

“I think I can have friends and still work on my technique” She says decidedly.

Naoya scowls, as she predicted, but she doesn’t react to it, simply goes back to threading today’s dandelion crown together. He doesn’t have anything else to say, even with plenty of bitter thoughts forming in his mind. He keeps his mouth shut and counts down the minutes until her father collects her and takes her home.

Today when she leaves, she drops the dandelion crown in his hands with a smile as she says goodbye. Naoya grimaces at the ugly clump of dying weeds, and once she’s gone, drops it into the trash before going on with his day, not giving it a second thought.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

WINTER, 2003

The first time she gets a grasp on her Reversed Cursed Technique, they’re fourteen.

And despite the unforgiving coldness of the February afternoon, (y/n) insists that they still sit in the garden for the duration of her visit. Naoya tries to tell her that she’s stupid for wanting to spend their time out there where she was going to catch a cold, but when she doesn’t budge, he decides to let her suffer the consequences.

She was a quiet little pipsqueak, but she was stubborn as hell, and for some reason that afternoon, Naoya hadn’t been in the mood to bicker. It probably had something to do with his brothers taunting him all throughout breakfast. They’d learned that messing with him about his little girlfriend as they called her was the quickest way to get his temper to snap, much to their delight. It only meant that by the time she’d arrived, he’d already been broken down and was too mentally drained to put up a fight over something as silly as the cold.

“I’ve learned how to apply my Reversed Cursed Technique on myself” Is the first thing she tells him once they’re alone, sitting in a patch of dry, dead grass surrounded by banks of snow.

“About time” Naoya replies gruffly. She’s not surprised that he has nothing nice to say, she hadn’t expected anything different.

So instead she rolls up her sleeve, tucking it at her shoulder to reveal her entire bare arm. The little hairs stick up and her skin prickles with goosebumps in the frigid air, but she gives no other indication of being bothered by the cold.

When she displays the long, bumpy scar that extends from the dip in her shoulder, down her bicep, nearly all the way through her palm, Naoya can’t help but widen his eyes at the nasty scar. It’s puffy and pink, clearly still healing. He’s silent as he follows the raised skin from start to finish, before turning to look at her, trying to gauge what she was thinking based on the mostly neutral expression she wore.

She was an impossible person to read, it was one of her most annoying qualities. Naoya always believed himself to be gifted in reading others’ thoughts just by looking at their body language. Never once had he been able to penetrate (y/n’s) thoughts. Every time she spoke she found some way to catch him off guard. Even after these last few years, it would still induce a chill of anxiety to shiver down his spine.

“Learned one way or another,” She chuckles, before pulling her sleeve back down. “The scar should fade soon. I got to it a bit late” She explains.

Naoya’s brows fall into a furrow and his lips curl into a puzzled frown.

“You did that to yourself?” He asks, disgust laced in his tone at the cruel attempt at training. Sure, his clan would likely applaud her for it, but the ends didn’t exactly justify the means to him.

“No,” (y/n) scoffs quietly. “Slipped up during training and had a nasty scratch. Had I not moved when I did, I might’ve lost the whole arm”

His mouth opens, but no words come out. He doesn’t know what to say, his brain is running haywire with the possibilities. He wants to call her foolish for acquiring such a scar just from training. He wants to drag her by her clean arm to where her father is mindlessly chatting away with his and demand he use his own Reversed Cursed technique to fix it. She was his only daughter, wasn’t she? Couldn’t he have healed her up just fine?

He doesn’t fully believe her story, not with the way she’s talking about her training thus far, but he doesn’t call her out on it, either.

When he snaps his mouth shut again his jaw clenches, and his teeth grind together as he squashes every thought that crosses his mind.

“Well, it’s nasty,” He mutters, sounding uncharacteristically helpless. “But at least you can use your technique now”

(y/n) beams. That was as close to a compliment as she’s ever received from him.

“Hurt like hell, but worth it!” She declares, and the pride in her voice makes him sick. “I can’t wait to show the kids at school. They’ll think it’s cool. They’ve probably never seen stuff like this”

He gives a small nod in response. He couldn’t exactly argue with that. Non-sorcerers were bound to think of her as some sort of badass over such a scar. It would probably boost her popularity among the insects of her school. Naoya frowns to himself.

“You shouldn’t show people that,” He tells her, without much of a reason in his mind. She looks at him curiously, wrapping her arms around herself while still refusing to claim she was cold. There’s not an ounce of truth in his words as he talks out of his ass. “They’ll probably just pity you. They’ll probably think you did it for attention”

She hums, nodding back at him in understanding.

“You’re right,” She tells him, much to his surprise. “I wouldn’t want that”

When she leaves that day, he wonders if she actually took his advice. He wonders if the scar will be gone the next time he sees her.

It’s the first time he’s ever thought about her next visit.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

SPRING 2005

When they’re sixteen, Naoya notices a change in her.

Not just a physical one brought on by puberty and elegant growth into young adulthood. It wasn’t just her sharper jaw and thicker lashes, or the way her eyes had a way of piercing through his in an unsettling way. It wasn’t just her longer legs or the strength carried in her abdomen and arms. It was a mindset change, he was sure of it.

She was more confident in the way she carried herself. No longer did she try to reach for her father’s hand, barely casting him a second glance as they parted ways at the Zen’in compound’s entryway. She respectfully bowed her head, but that was it. She didn’t mess with the clip in her hair anymore, or avoid eye contact by staring at the ground. She was a little more poised, and a little more sure of herself.

And now when she was with Naoya, he could practically feel the change in her just from the way she looked at him. Inquisitive, with a small smirk on her face like she knew something he didn’t, and despite his better judgment, he was just dying to know what it was.

He had yet to decide if this change was a good one or not. She was more vocal than usual, witty in their bickering as she yet again forced him to spend their time in the garden. Her voice was still soft but her words were sharper than usual, more decisive. He thinks that having a wife so mouthy and bossy would be an inconvenience to him and his clan, but he’s not sure if voicing that now would be of service to him. He couldn’t go offending her father, not yet anyways, so he keeps his mouth shut and takes her out to her precious garden.

“I have some exciting news to tell you,” She says as soon as they’re alone outside.

Her gaze is fixed on a clump of hyacinths, which irks Naoya. No one else dared speak to him without looking at him, it was a respect thing. The staff, even his younger cousins and some older ones, they all held eye contact when speaking to him. She makes no effort to show him respect, but her manner isn’t intended to be cruel. This was the playful side of her personality that he was starting to despise. He grinds his teeth.

“I’ve been asked to the spring formal at my school”

She sounds delighted, and it’s clear in the way her eyes light up and her smile curls just right to show off pearly white teeth. She tells him this news like he’d been dying to know, like he’d cared at all. He scoffs, rolls his eyes as he leans back in the grass on his hands, careful not to catch his sleeves on the dirty ground.

“I’ve never heard of something more stupid”

“It’s a big deal,” (y/n) turns to him, her hands moving as she explains the details of the dance, how important a pretty dress is, how the most popular couple attending would be crowned spring prince and princess, all of which fell on disinterested ears as Naoya frowned and fought the urge to roll his eyes at everything she told him. “It’s sort of silly, but it’s not stupid,” She tells him with certainty. “Especially not since the most popular guy in my grade asked me,” She adds with a grin, leaning forward a bit to catch his attention. Surely he’d care about that little piece of information.

Naoya rolls his head against his shoulder as he gives her a bored stare. She’s still beaming, bright eyes flickering between his golden brown ones that fought so hard to keep their dull glare.

“Of course, he doesn’t know I’m technically betrothed” She adds, the word slipping off her tongue with syrupy, sticky sweetness. That had a reaction flashing across his face, miniscule changes in his twitching brow and narrowing eyes.

They never really talked about their arrangement. Not since bickering about it as kids, anyways. Naoya always assumed it was because neither one of them were all that fond of the idea of an arranged marriage, especially to one another, seeing as they got along about as well as oil and water. But here she was, bringing it up like it was nothing, like it carried no real weight. And she was teasing him about it.

It made something in his chest snap. Something sharp, something that had never been touched before.

“What, you’re asking for permission to go on a lame date to a lame school dance, with a lame non-sorcerer?” He scoffs at her, but his cruel words do nothing to hinder the excitement in her face.

“Permission? Of course not,” She shakes her head. Her eyes land on a stray dandelion not far from her reach, and she leans over to pluck it from the grass without hesitation. Old habits die hard. “You’re not my husband, I don’t recall signing any papers”

He scoffs again, his lips curling into a sarcastic grin. She knows he’s going to spit out some vile nonsense, but she can’t help but brighten further upon seeing his smile. It was a rare sight, after all.

“Not yet,” He corrects her. “But I’m sure if I were to tell my father about how unfaithful you’ve been acting, you’d be pulled out of that non-sorcerer school by the end of the day. And what then, pipsqueak?” He challenges.

She straightens her posture as she takes his challenge and runs with it. The old feelings of anxiety stir in his chest as she tilts her chin upwards . It was like she knew exactly what it took to get under his skin. When did she get so defiant?

“Immediately running to Daddy is so outdated, don’t you think?” Her voice drops an octave, and her smirk is widening just a bit as she watches it sink into his mind. “Besides, unfaithful feels a little strong” She adds with a short breath of a laugh.

“Not if you’re practically engaged” He snaps back quickly.

(y/n’s) the one to roll her eyes this time. He wants to hate it, instinct clawing up his throat and wanting him to tell her just how terrible of a wife she’d really make, that obedience was the first rule in marriage. But the words die there, swallowed down thickly and leaving his throat dry and scratchy. An aching throat could be the only explanation as to why he wouldn’t say a thing.

“Doesn’t there have to be a ring for that?” She snorts before chuckling to herself, a sound he’s never heard from her before, and doesn’t know what to do with now. He blinks, fire burning in his eyes the longer she puts up this stupid game. What was her ploy, anyways? “Or, you know, a proposal?” She fires back before he could even say anything.

Naoya clicks his tongue in irritation, turning his gaze in the opposite direction so she couldn’t see the way he fought to come up with something.

“I don’t care if you go to your stupid formal with some nobody,” He tells her in a mutter, still focusing his attention elsewhere, anything to keep from looking at her just yet. “Under the condition you’re not actually unfaithful, of course. No point in having you as a wife, then”

(y/n’s) eyes are fixed on him even though he won’t turn back to her. She can just barely make out the pink tips of his ears under the mop of dark hair that covers them. A tiny smile cracks at the corners of her lips as she hums to herself.

He turns to her then, his brows furrowed as always, his lips pressed into a thin line as always, and her small smile breaks into a wider grin.

And then, she’s laughing. His expression changes to one of confusion as bubble after bubble of laughter escapes her. The more she laughs, the harder it hits, until she’s nearly cackling with it. Even if he bothered to ask her what was so funny, she surely wouldn’t have been able to give him a proper answer. So he watches in his shocked state of confusion as she throws herself back on the grass, hands over her stomach as she laughs loudly.

“Hey!” He barks then, head whipping around to be sure no one could see this childish display. “Are you trying to stain your kimono?” He scolds her.

For some reason, she laughs harder. Naoya thinks he sees a tear slip down the side of her cheek as it continues with no end in sight. The expensive white silk she wore would likely have green stains all over the back now. Naoya winced, knowing he’d be the one to be scolded by both of their fathers for letting her so recklessly ruin the material.

Her feet are kicking against the soft grass as peels of obsessive laughter flies out of her. It goes on so long, Naoya lets out a humorless laugh himself, just barely smiling at the whole display.

He didn’t get the joke, not in the slightest, but as she opens her eyes and wipes away her tears while she looks up at him in her giggly state, he laughs just a little more, with just the slightest hint of genuine humor.

It takes a few minutes for (y/n) to completely calm down, her chest rising and falling as she took unsteady breaths to relax. Her eyes fall shut again as she lays in the sun and waits for her breathing to even out. She never does tell him what had cracked her up, but he doesn’t ask. He simply works to keep his expression neutral and uninterested while she basks in the sunny afternoon, still laying in the grass without a care in the world. She almost looks comfortable here, like she could be happy here.

And when she leaves, she drops the singular dandelion she’d plucked into his hand. She can tell by the look on his face that he has no intention of keeping it, and she doesn’t really care either way. But she smiles as the tips of her fingers graze over his palm while she hums a goodbye, and just like that, her and her father leave the compound.

Naoya hesitates before tossing it into the trash bin, giving the yellow weed a once over, just to see if he could see in it what she did. Defeated when he can’t find anything special, he tosses it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

SUMMER, 2006

Being on the cusp of eighteen, Naoya’s certain that their time before a proper wedding was waning. Surely once they were both of age, there would be pressure from both clans for him to make his proposal, something dramatic and with as many eyes watching as possible. The idea makes him sick to his stomach, so he’s been trying not to think about it, but again, time was running out.

Her visits are growing more infrequent. It’s nearing the end of the month, and she’s only been around twice in that time. He’s not sure what to make of that, undecided on if her father is proving the point that he’d need to make his move soon, or maybe…

“You seem to be thinking a lot today,”

Her voice is soft, but it still manages to draw Naoya out of his busy head. He turns to look at her, giving her every ounce of his attention. There’s a small knot between her pinched brows, and he’s not sure he’s ever seen her look concerned for him before. It makes his chest do something strange.

Is that a stutter in his heartbeat? He worries about the implication. A stroke?

“Can’t be good for you” (y/n) finishes with a teasing little smirk on her face.

He scoffs, barely rolls his eyes, and the corner of his mouth betrays him as it tilts upward in her direction.

“Like you’d understand. You don’t have clan politics to worry about” He mutters, his eyes squinting as he turns to face forward again, the sun catching his line of sight harshly.

As always, they’re sat in the gardens. (y/n) had already collected her small pile of dandelions, and was diligently knotting them together to make her crown. She’d gotten better at it over the years, thickening the stems with extra of the weed to make it appear more full. Naoya sat with nothing better to do than be lost in his own thoughts, and occasionally watch her as she worked on her mindless craft.

“I don’t care to worry about clan politics the way you do,” She corrects him, casting him a glance for a mere second before going back to her stems. “And besides, the politics you worry about are prehistoric,” She adds with a scoff. “Medieval” She adds bitterly.

Naoya rolls his eyes in good nature.

“Like your clan is any different” He mumbles.

Her elbow knocks into his, and he turns to glare at her for the mock attack, but she’s smiling, and while the sun seems to make him wince, it does wonders to compliment her facial features.

And thinking that she looks beautiful isn’t necessarily a new thought… it’s not like he’s ever found her unattractive. She was always… pretty… in her quiet sort of way. But Naoya’s not yet used to thinking about her beauty every time he looks at her, and he hasn’t learned yet what it takes to squash those thoughts.

So for now he tries to pay it little to no mind. Rest assured, he will find a way to not think about it.

“No, they’re just the same, I’m afraid,” (y/n) hums, tilting her head slightly as she regards him. “But between you and me, I think I can escape it”

Naoya barks out a laugh. He doesn’t believe her.

“You don’t escape family,” He states bitterly. “You’re stuck with them whether you like it or not”

“You think?” She asks, arching an eyebrow at him. Ever so interested in what he thought, even when she thought he was wrong.

Naoya merely nods. He knew all too well that you were stuck in the life you were born into. Even if it meant under-achieving older brothers that didn’t deserve to be the head of the Clan, or the Hei. Even if it meant being forced into a marriage with a young woman who deserved much, much better than this life.

But he can’t say any of that. So he nods, and turns to face forward again.

“Well, I don’t think so,” She shrugs one of her shoulders. “I think we get some say in who we want in our lives,”

Says the girl forced to come sit here with me three times a month for the last ten years, Naoya thinks bitterly, but again, he keeps it to himself.

“Not that it’s easy, but,” She shrugs again. “I like to think so, anyways”

“What’s your grand escape plan, then, pipsqueak?” He asks, admittedly amused by her antics this afternoon. Which is odd, seeing as normally he’d find it childish, and ignore her.

Pink lips curl into a precious smile as she looks back at him.

“Love, of course”

He almost laughs, right in her face, which would have broken her seemingly fragile heart, but when she gives him her answer and he realizes it’s not a joke, he almost can’t stop himself. Almost. Naoya sinks his teeth into the inside of his cheek and clears his throat.

“Love?” He repeats and it comes out of his mouth like he’s never even heard of the concept. (y/n) chuckles as she nods back at him.

“Yeah, love,” She confirms. “You remember that guy that took me to spring formal?”

For fucks’ sake, she has to be joking. Naoya rolls his eyes as he drags a hand down his face in disbelief.

Despite his clear lack of interest, she goes on.

“Well we’ve hung out a few times now and it’s been… nice. He likes me and I think I could like him, so,” For a third time, she shrugs, like it was the easiest plan in the world. “I think if we fell in love, my father would have to let me off the hook a bit, wouldn’t he?”

No, no he wouldn’t, Naoya knows for a fact that when it comes to arranged marriages, there was no exception to the arrangement. Unless someone died, there wasn’t a chance of getting out of it. It didn’t matter if she bore this non-sorcerer’s children, this time next year, she would belong to him. On paper, at least.

“Your father is far more reasonable than mine,” Naoya sighs. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to tell her the whole truth. He continues to entertain her foolish ideas. “Have you talked to him about this yet?”

“Of course not!” Her voice squeaks as she gasps at the idea. Naoya can’t help but laugh a little bit at her bashful reaction.

“Does he know about this non-sorcerer-nobody at all?” He presses, and (y/n) chews on her bottom lip as she shakes her head. Naoya gives her a bored look, silently telling her that she was doomed already.

“Well what was I supposed to say?” She mumbles. “I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea”

“I told you not to go down the unfaithful route, pipsqueak,” Naoya sighs. “Now you’ll have to fess up to all of it”

“It’s not like I’ve done anything wrong,” She explains. “Yet…” She adds in a smaller voice.

“Thinkin’ about adultery is just as bad as the real thing,” Naoya chuckles. “At least in the elders’ eyes”

(y/n) narrows her eyes at him in mock irritation.

“We’re not married” She reminds him in a mutter. He only smirks back at her. He doesn’t have to say anything for her to know what he’s thinking.

Yet.

“Semantics,” He smirks.

She laughs despite herself. He seems relaxed today, and after so many years she finally feels like she’s getting the smallest of glimpses into the real him. She’s always wondered what Zen’in Naoya was really like, and she can’t help but feel eager to finally learn.

“Well, what’s the damage?” He huffs, acting as though he’s not dying to know the specifics of this little relationship she’s found herself in. “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

“What!? No!” She yelps at the accusation, and this time smacks the back of her hand against his arm.

“You abuse me, wife” He grumbles as he pretends to rub the spot to ease the nonexistent ache.

“We’ve just hung out a few times. Sometimes he helps me study, sometimes he brings me the drink I like from the cafe—”

“That stuff doesn’t matter” Naoya rolls his eyes. What silly little things she found interesting in a man. Women could be so simple.

“Sure it does,” (y/n) furrows his brows. “Quality time is-”

He could care less about the details, so he interrupts her.

“But you’ve kissed him, yeah?”

The question shuts her up immediately. She doesn’t try to deflect, or come up with a witty reply to snap back at him. She shuts her mouth and stares at her lap. At first he’s amused by the shy display, but as time passes, it begins to click for him that she’s embarrassed.

“You’re acting foolish, pipsqueak,” He barks out a laugh, throwing his head back as he does. Her face feels like it’s getting hotter by the second. She covers her cheeks with her hands to relieve the burn. “Your plan relies on childish love and you haven’t even kissed the guy? Who in their right mind will take you seriously?”

“It’s not childish,” She argues, her voice quiet, and her face still covered by her hands. “I just— there hasn’t been the right moment. S-something always came up,”

She grows quieter with every word, her humiliation washing over her like a wave of dread. Perhaps Naoya was the wrong person to come to with this.

“Like you’ve kissed people—” She tries to bicker with him, but there’s a glint in his eye as her words catch his interest, and something about the way he smirks and tilts his head makes her second guess herself as she shuts her mouth.

“Oh, don’t tell me,” He’s snickering before he can even finish his words. (y/n) wishes she could open up the ground and let it swallow her whole. “You’ve never kissed anyone, pipsqueak?”

“Would you stop calling me that?” She sighs, but it’s no use. He’s got his paws on a juicy piece of embarrassing information. His brutal nature was about to come out in full force.

“And here I was worried about a second-hand wife” He scoffs.

“Hey—!”

“So why are you hitching your whole plan onto a guy you don’t like, hm? Shouldn’t you go out with a bang?” He smirks and leans back on his elbows. “Or at least a kiss-”

“Excuse me? I do too like him” She cuts him off before his cockiness could get overbearing.

“If you liked him, you would’ve kissed him already,” Naoya rolls his eyes. “I think you need a different plan of action”

“Well I— I mean I would kiss him,” She stammered over her words. “There just hasn’t been a good time—”

“Haven’t you known him for like a year?” Naoya sneers. “Bit of a prude, hm?”

(y/n) drops her hands from her face to gape at him, smacking his arm once more.

“I am not!” She whines, followed by a quiet, “You don’t think he thinks that, do you?”

He huffs.

“I am not going to sit here and gossip about this bullshit with-”

“Naoya, now you have to help me” She interrupts him, moving forward and latching her hands together in a pleading motion.

His eyes widen and his brows furrow. He’s not sure how he landed on this timeline, but this? Since when was she so open and personal with him? What was this treatment? Was it some sort of punishment? Did he do something in a past life to warrant this?

“I don’t have to do sh—”

“Please?” (y/n) bats her eyelashes, and he’s starting to think she might be a witch. “Just some advice, that’s all,” She tells him. “Since you’ve clearly kissed so many people”

He rolls his eyes, before sitting up off his arms. That’s not exactly what he’d said. But he smirks to himself. There wasn’t any harm in letting her believe that, was there?

“Whatever. You don’t need advice. You just need to pluck up some courage”

She frowns at him.

“I have courage,” She states. “It’s not about courage”

“Oh yeah?” He chuckles to himself. “Then why exactly haven’t you made a move?”

(y/n) frowns, dropping her gaze to go back to working on her dandelion crown.

“Well I thought he’d make the first move. And then he never really did and… now I’m sorta… relying on it, I guess,” She sighs and drops the dandelion loop back into her lap. “Shit. He doesn’t even like me, does he?”

Naoya laughs, a real laugh, with a real smile flashing across his face. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that some non-sorcerer-nobody wasn’t completely enamored in a girl like her.

“No,” He disagrees, the word firm, certain. “Sounds like you’ve just picked a coward. Can’t say I’m surprised, pipsqueak, I don’t know why you’d go for a non-sorcerer-”

“This part’s not helpful”

“—but, you’ll probably just have to make the first move. It’s not hard. You’ll be fine”

She frowns at him, and it takes an effort for him to not roll his eyes back at her. She couldn’t be serious.

“Just kiss him, (y/n). Don’t be stupid. It’s unbecoming of you. But you are seventeen, and it’s a little embarrassing of you, too”

Her frown turns into a look of offense, and he can’t help but laugh a bit again.

“Don’t laugh at me. And don’t call me embarrassing! You’re the one that told me I couldn’t be unfaithful”

“Yeah yeah,” He waves his hand dismissively. “If you’re so worried about it, then kiss me”

She freezes, her expression going blank while her eyes wildly flicker over his features, trying and failing for the thousandth time to try and figure him out.

He’d suggested so casually, like it was the most obvious solution, like it wouldn’t mean a thing.

Naoya raises his brows and purses his lips, waiting expectantly for her to decide what she was going to do.

“I— you can’t be—?”

“What difference does it make?” He asks, shaking his head nonchalantly. “Either you learn how to be a good kisser and you get your boring happily ever after with your non-sorcerer-nobody, or you end up married to me and you’ll only be kissing me for the rest of our lives anyways”

When he puts it like that, the hair on the back of her neck stands up. She’d always known in the back of her mind that at the end of the day, it was her and Naoya. Whether they were friends or partners didn’t matter, and arranged marriage only went one way. Most of the marriages in the more powerful clans weren’t exactly in loving relationships anyways, it was a mere power grab. A way to unite clans, or to brush dirty politics under the rug.

For over ten years she’d been brought to the Zen’in compound to play nice with Naobito’s youngest son. In all that time she struggled to figure out what that actually meant, how to actually treat him with kindness when all he knew was a sharp tongue and a cold shoulder. Over time she’d learned to sit back and let herself be entertained by him. If she couldn’t grow to like him, or worse love him, then she might as well find some amusement in his company.

But now he’s sitting beside her with the offer of a kiss, and not just any kiss, her first kiss, and he’s telling her that it’s for her greater plan of getting out of their arranged marriage? She can’t help but think he’s been using her for his own amusement all this time, as well. He must have had an ulterior motive.

“What’s in it for you?” Her eyes narrow inquisitively.

He scoffs at the question.

“A kiss is a kiss,” He shrugs. “But I’ll take it back if you’d rather—”

“No!” She’s louder than she means to be, and she jumps forward a little closer than she should, closing a significant amount of space between them. “I mean- no, you’re right, then you can tell me if I’m any good at it”

He pointedly eyes the small amount of space between them before tilting his head at her, a sly sort of smile on his face as he nods.

“Alright then, pipsqueak,” He hums, beckoning her forward with his hand. “Do your worst”

Her brows pinch together for a moment, before her eyes shift down to his lips with apprehension.

While she’s distracted by her uncertainty, Naoya keeps his focus on her. And for once, he lets himself really look at her. Her eyes are round with her nerves, just a little wider than usual, almost doe-like. Her pupils are dilating, and he could almost hear her thoughts just from watching her expression shift and change with each passing one. His gaze lowers when she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth, growing more unsure the longer she thinks about it.

Naoya figures she must be having girlish thoughts. She was probably worried about losing her first kiss over what was essentially a dare, and would be meaningless. She was probably worrying herself sick knowing that after this, he would forever be her first kiss, whether she liked it or not. He could almost scoff at the notion.

The plush of her lip gives under her teeth as she slides it back and forth anxiously. Naoya watches the action religiously, lost in thought about how pink her lips are, and how he’d never really given them much thought. Despite her worried gnawing, they look soft, plump, even. He thinks just from looking at them that she’s bound to be a good kisser with lips like those. If his own mind weren’t going so haywire with having her so close, maybe he’d make the choice for her and kiss her first.

But he’s too occupied. Her perfume is wafting up his nose with the lightest scent of something flowery and sugary. He’s breathing a little deeper to take more of it in, addicted to the feminine scent after just a few whiffs, but he’s doing it so slowly so that she won’t notice that he’s about to suffocate himself.

“Naoya,” She says his name and it comes out like a scold. He arches a brow when he drags his eyes back up to hers. She pouts at him. “You have to close your eyes, you can’t stare at me like that”

Her cheeks are pink, he notes the rosy blush that’s dusted across her nose, and the longer he watches, he swears he sees the color darkening. Was she really that flustered just from a little staring?

“Like what?” He finds himself asking without really thinking. A nervous laugh escapes her as she sets her gaze on anything but his prying eyes. The golden brown hue were piercing right through her it seemed, building up her nervous anxiety.

“Just— just close your eyes” She stutters out.

Naoya rolls his eyes, but eventually follows the instruction, letting them fall shut.

“I don’t like being told what to do, pipsqueak,” He says, and with his eyes closed, she finds the confidence to reach forward, fingertips barely skimming over his chin, and then along his sharp jaw. She doesn’t miss the way his throat bobs when he swallowed thickly. “And hurry it up, I’m getting bored-”

“I don’t like being told what to do either,” She quips, but her voice is barely above a whisper, soft breaths fanning over his lips. “I just— give me a damn second”

She knows if his eyes were open, he’d be rolling them. Jackass.

He can feel her fingers trembling against his skin, resulting in the lightest of tapping against his jaw. His lips curl upwards against his will.

“Princess, breathe,” He mumbles, blindly reaching up for her hand, wrapping her fingers with his own. “It’s just a kiss, what is it that you’re stressing this hard over?”

“Well w-what if this all doesn’t work out and th-then—”

“I said breathe,” He commands, and despite the instruction being in her best interest, his tone is sharp. She obeys it immediately, shutting her mouth and breathing in deeply through her nose, before slowly letting it out. He waits until she’s no longer shaking before speaking again. “D’you want me to do it?”

Her eyes snap up to his, although he’s kept them closed all this time. She can’t believe he hasn’t cheated on her rule.

“No, I… I can do it” She mumbles with certainty, before tilting forward in the smallest movement.

The tip of her nose touches his for a moment, before brushing past as she gets closer. Her fingers press a little more firmly against his jaw, making sure he won’t move when she finally does it.

Her heart is beating so hard in her chest she knows he can hear it, if not feel it as she shuffles closer to him. She can’t believe he hasn’t teased her for it. Maybe he’s just waiting, so once she kisses him and this is all over, he can torment her and hang it over her head for the rest of their lives.

But just as the bitter thought crosses her mind, her eyes flicker down to where his hand is still loosely wrapped around one of hers, keeping her touch present against his jaw, and keeping them still. It’s not a firm hold, but gentle, so loose she knows if she were to pull away he’d drop it instantly. And then she can’t help but feel that maybe Zen’in Naoya has a soft spot for her. Maybe there’s a side of him that’s quiet, and slow, and gentle, and maybe she can let go of her silly anxiety to indulge herself in that side of him.

She counts down from three in her head. Then closes her eyes. And leans the rest of the way forward.

As for Naoya, he can’t say he’s ever really thought about his first kiss. He wasn’t one to care about the milestone of it, or really any of the specifics. If it had crossed his mind in the past, it was only with the intention of wanting to kiss a worthy girl. A pretty girl. Beyond that, fireworks or romance wasn’t even in the question. It didn’t really matter.

But (y/n’s) lips are even softer than they looked. They’re timid, unmoving when they first touch his. He’s surprised she even followed through with it, he was completely prepared for her to chicken out and beg him to forget the whole thing. Next thing he knows she’s kissing him and he kisses her back as soon as he realizes she’s not shyly backing away after two seconds. She follows his lead slowly, her fingers pushing along his jawline until they reach the soft locks of hair that just barely hangs past his ears.

He wasn’t prepared for this.

It wasn’t fireworks, and it wasn’t some grand romantic gesture either.

It was… peaceful. Like sinking into a warm bath after a long day of training.

It was warm, and comfortable. Like the first day of spring once the snow had all melted away and the flowers were getting ready to bloom once more.

A kiss is a kiss, he’d told her, like a damn fool.

Naoya’s hands began to wander, dropping hers to cup them gently around her warm cheeks, making sure to touch her as softly as possible, so as not to startle her. She surprises him again when she leans carefully into his palm, lips still too enamored with his to pull away.

This was not just a kiss.

She lets out a soft sigh when they finally do part, lips still brushing his and her eyes still shut as she catches her breath quickly and quietly.

He’s frozen then, right through his bones. His hands are still on her face, his eyes are unblinking when she finally opens her own, shyly meeting his gaze. He thinks he must look like a fucking imbecile right about now, staring at her silently while she’s clearly waiting for his approval of her kissing ability.

But he can’t say a damn thing. He can’t move an inch. She’s rendered him weaker than he’s ever felt before.

The pad of her thumb mindlessly strokes a gentle shape at the junction where his jaw meets his neck, and his heart is stuttering again, just like earlier.

Except now he knows it’s not a medical condition.

It was beating like that for her.

“Well?” She murmurs, soft and hopeful as her eyes flicker in between his. “What’d you think?”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

WINTER, 2008

Their eighteenth years came and went, and with it, the notion of an arranged marriage.

Naoya stood before his father, his hands currently curled into tight fists that were sure to leave crescent shapes in his palms with how harshly he dug his nails into the skin. His jaw was locked as he ground his teeth together to keep himself from blurting out something he’d regret, but his frustration was made abundantly evident.

It was more than frustration. He was livid.

“What the hell do you mean she’s not mine to marry?” He’d all but snarled at the head of the Zen’in Clan.

Naobito sat back in his chair, still focused on whatever paperwork was in front of him, as disinterested in the affairs of his son as ever.

Even now, while Naoya’s entire perception of the rest of his life was falling apart at the seams, the older man barely lifts his head when speaking.

“She never has been, son. Where is this sudden urgency to marry coming from?”

“Sudden urg-? What are you talking about?” Naoya throws his hands out, exasperated from this conversation going in circles. “Her father’s been dropping her off here with me for years in order for us to get to know each other. You’ve been arranging this marriage from behind the scenes since we were six”

Finally, Naobito raises his head just long enough to give his son a confused shake back and forth.

“You’re looking for things that aren’t there. Our intention was never to arrange for young (y/n) to marry you, Naoya,” He’s calm, despite his son’s rage being too large for the room. “What is this about?” He asks, dropping his pen as he regards his youngest son with a raised chin. “Am I to believe you’ve grown to care for her?”

“That doesn’t matter,” Naoya snaps with a scoff in his throat. “What matters is she was supposed to be my wife, she was meant to be my bride since we were kids, that— that was always-!”

“Her father never had an interest in you as a suitor,” Naobito lets out a scoff of his own, an amused smirk on his face. Naoya shuts his mouth, pressing his lips into a thin line as his anger starts to simmer. “You were too harsh, son. Too… sharp around the edges for his only daughter. Look at it from his perspective, hm? Head of his clan, only one heir and it’s his precious little girl. Would you be pulling strings to set her up with you?” Naobito scoffs again, this time followed by an amused chuckle. “Our clans only recently started mending things after our… history…” He trails off thoughtfully. “(y/l/n) (y/f/n) was never going to give away his only daughter to you, much less any of your brothers, or anyone who bore the Zen’in name”

Naoya’s chest is rising and falling so roughly, he wonders if this could be the brink of a panic attack. All his life he thought he’d be stuck with her. The last thirteen years, he’d thought that at the end of it all, she’d be the one by his side. And for a long time he resented her for it, hated her for it. And then, for some reason, without explanation, something changed. In the way she looked at him, in the way he felt about himself when he was around her, he couldn’t quite put a finger on when it happened.

But when she was seventeen and needed to get her first kiss out of the way, he was the one she went to.

And when she was fourteen and had just mastered her Reversed Cursed Technique, he was who she told proudly, even with the gruesome story.

And when they were eight, and he’d oh-so stupidly told her that they were being set up for an arranged betrothal, she’d told him she would marry him.

Yet here he stands at nineteen, having naively entered his father’s study with the intent of arranging the details of the proposal— the dowry, the location, the letter he’d have to write to (y/n’s) father— and for the first time in his life, he’s being told no.

“I don’t know what led you to believe you were to be her suitor, son”

“We both thought that was the arrangement,” He muttered. “Since we were kids, (y/n) and I thought-”

“She’s going to Tokyo this weekend, Naoya,” Naobito huffs, pinching his fingers through his mustache to relieve his stress from this pesky situation. “Her father is bringing her to meet with a young man around your age. He does intend on marrying her off, but he was waiting until it was appropriate”

Naoya’s hands are clenched into fists again. He couldn’t believe this.

“This isn’t— I won’t have this” He mutters.

That perks Naobito’s interest.

“Son, we can find suitors of other clans to-”

“I don’t need to be set up with weak, worthless, women!” He shouts over this father, possibly for the first time since he was a misbehaving child. “I already had a— there was already supposed to be—!”

He can’t find the words, or maybe just the strength to say them. But with a huff he’s spinning on his heel and marching back out of the study. He’d said his piece, and there was nothing more the head of the clan could do for the situation. It was out of their hands.

Naobito watches in silence as his son leaves, the heavy oak door slamming shut behind him. He hadn’t seen an outburst like that from his youngest son in years. He didn’t understand the nature of it all, because it wasn’t like Naoya to be infatuated with a person, much less a young woman with a cursed technique that parallels his in strength, but he didn’t know what else could have gotten him so worked up over the whole thing.

There wasn’t a chance Naoya truly had grown to love her, was there?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

2009

For her twenty-first birthday, (y/n) was gifted a grand party. The guest list was extensive, the catering was expensive, and no cost was spared for the whole ordeal. The grand courtyard of the (y/l/n) estate was the perfect place to throw such an elegant party, complete with fountains, twinkling lights, and of course, live music. An expensive part for an expensive family. It was typical.

Naoya didn’t come to these sorts of events often. The idea of walking around and sucking up to whichever elitist family was hosting just seemed so… dull. The parties themselves were often the same thing over and over, appetizers, mingling with people that only wanted to show off, drinking, and then going home and feeling like shit.

And truthfully, he wasn’t going to go to this one. Even though he hadn’t seen (y/n) in over a year, and even once his father made it clear that while the Zen’ins had been invited, he was specifically requested to attend, from the birthday girl herself, he’d said.

So now here he was, with a permanent scowl on his face and a very expensive suit that he would never wear again. He doesn’t look like he wants to be here, because he doesn’t, and yet anyone who saw him that night would have said that he was on a mission to find someone. Whoever it was must have been important, seeing as he didn’t pause to talk to anyone.

But he figures she’d invited him specifically. She requested his attendance. The least he could do was wish her a happy birthday, right?

There’s a lot more he wants to say to her. A year and a half’s worth of messy thoughts that barely made sense to him but every bone in his body told him to find her and lay it all out. Even if he had to drag her away from her own party, and hold her by her shoulders to keep her in place so she’d listen.

Naoya didn’t chase people down. Ever.

So when fifteen minutes after his arrival he finally finds her, with The Honored One himself, he considers turning around and leaving without the intention of ever speaking to her again.

But it had to be Gojo Satoru of all people. Powerful, filthy fucking rich, charming, devilishly handsome, Special Grade, Gojo Fucking Satoru. It couldn’t have been any other eligible bachelor from a well of clan, it couldn’t have been some nobody for him to turn his nose up at and walk away from with a boost to the ego.

He stews for too long in his bitter thoughts, and from across the crowd of people, she sees him. It’s too late for him to turn around and leave unnoticed. She’s already picking up the skirt of her dress so her feet don’t trip over it as she quickly makes her way over to him.

He could still leave, he thinks distantly. But as she gets closer he can see that she’s smiling, she’s actually glad that he’s here, and once again he’s frozen while he’s reeling from the shock.

He still tries to maintain his scowl, he can’t have people getting the wrong idea once she’s close enough he can hear her delighted laughter and ramblings of “You came! You got my invite? It’s been so long!”.

And he hates it, he hates seeing her, especially when she’s so relieved to see him, especially when she looks so radiant, in her pretty party dress that’s draped so perfectly on her it must’ve been tailored, and with her hair falling around her shoulders and down her back so perfectly she didn’t even look real she looked fucking angelic—

“Naoya?”

His name falling from her lips has him blinking himself back to reality, his nasty expression falling momentarily as he takes her in and realizes she really is standing here right in front of him.

“You alright?” (y/n) asks, once it seems he’s conscious again. Her grin had morphed into a worried little smile. Shit, he can’t tear his eyes away from her lips.

“I’m fine,” He declares, void of any real emotion. “Happy birthday, by the way”

Her smile brightens a bit more then, and her eyes gleam too.

“Thank you,” She replies sheepishly. “I’m really glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you’d accept the invite”

“Yeah, it’s not really my thing” Naoya clicks his tongue as his eyes wander the courtyard, taking in the estate properly for the first time. Anything to distract himself from her.

“I know,” She sighs softly, her head tilting as she regards him, her cheeks inevitably warming up the longer she stares. “You changed your hair”

He looks back at her, still making the effort to keep his expression neutral, and she can tell, but she doesn’t comment on it.

“Yeah. While ago” He replies dryly.

It wasn’t long after he’d last seen her that he’d taken to a change in style. She just so happened to stop coming around with her father around that time.

“I like it,” She says quietly, a bit awkwardly.

At times it feels like she’s forgotten how to speak to him, not that he was ever the easiest person to get along with. Yet, in their time apart, she found herself missing him. Thinking about him. Wondering what he was up to, or if he ever thought about her.

“Oh, I know,” Her eyes light up with an idea, before she beckons him to follow her. “I should show you the gardens!”

Just like that, she’s leading him away from the party, away from the prying eyes of Gojo Satoru, who seems to watch the scandalous pair with a smirk on his face. Naoya scowls back at him, but ultimately focuses on following (y/n) around the courtyard, and then behind her estate.

“You do recall that you were the one that cared about the damn flowers, right?” He asks her once they’re far enough away that the voices of her partygoers were drowned out by the muffled music.

“And you don’t like being around crowds of people,” She reminds him, glancing over her shoulder with a proud grin on her face. He rolls his eyes at her. “I’m doing us both a favor!” She declares.

He’s not so convinced, but he doesn’t put up a fight. He simply tucks his hands in his pockets and bears it as they wander around the yard in the dark.

He tries to keep his damn mouth shut, he really does. But it doesn’t take long before he’s blurting out the thought on the front of his mind.

“So Daddy picked a Gojo for you, hm?”

As soon as it comes out, he regrets it. Because (y/n) isn’t shy in the way she pauses on her journey so that she can turn to face him with that curious look of hers. He’s never been interrogated by her, but he suspects it wouldn’t go well.

“I wouldn’t say that,” She muses, her words carefully picked out. “Not a Gojo anyways… more like, The Gojo, don’t you think?”

The smirk on her face tells him that he’s bearing witness to the witty side of her personality, the side that likes to poke and get reactions out of him that she knows she can. Naoya rolls his eyes again, and to his luck, (y/n) goes back to leading him out to the gardens.

“So full of it” He grumbles.

She giggles, having heard it.

“My father took me to Tokyo last year so we could meet. Mostly, I think he wanted to meet Satoru, he was a bit shell shocked. But we got along well. He’s… fun” Again, she’s careful with her words, and Naoya can tell. He grimaces, his hands forming fists in his pockets.

“So you hit it off then, hm?” He presses further, despite his gut feeling twisted enough. “Whatever happened to your non-sorcerer-nobody?”

“Oh,” It dawned on her that it really had been a while since they last spoke. “You were right,” She glances over her shoulder at him once more, her expression unreadable as she says, “I didn’t like him,” And then she’s facing forward again and finally reaching the gardens of the estate. “At least, not like I thought I did,” She clarifies. “Kinda hard to explain, I guess. He was a good guy and all just…” She shrugs her shoulders, and she couldn’t come up with anything else to say so she didn’t say anything at all.

Naoya nods, his brow furrowing as he glances over the large expanse of flowers and bushes, all trimmed and perfectly on display, even in the dark. A garden at night was probably one of the worst places to be. Not only was he stuck wandering around outside, but he couldn’t even see the damn things.

“To be honest, once I’d gone to my father to tell him about, well, having feelings for a non-sorcerer, I’d gone on my big speech about how I wasn’t ready to be married off, how I wasn’t ready to be a wife and how I wanted to travel and take on assignments exoricizing curses and— and trying to find the right field for my technique… anyways, I was pretty surprised when he told me I wasn’t arranged to married off at all,”

She’s looking at him, he can feel her soft yet piercing gaze staring right at him, but Naoya can’t bring himself to look away from whatever blue flowers were before him now.

“We had a great talk, though. He told me he wouldn’t marry me off if I wasn’t ready, and even then only if it were in my best interest and with my approval… not that this matters,” She mumbles the last part, realizing she was rambling on with nonsense. “I mean it’s what I wanted… but I guess I’m still sort of surprised that’s how it worked out”

(y/n) wraps her arms around herself, although it’s not a chilly night, she’s lured into the defensive stance as she drops her gaze from him.

He merely hums, barely nodding his head to agree. Saying he was surprised to find out they were never truly arranged to be married would have been an extreme understatement.

“Anyways…” The air is thick with an uncomfortable tension, and (y/n) nervously coughs to clear her throat. “How have you been doing?”

“Fine”

Naoya’s answer is quick, and sharp. (y/n) winces at the bite in the singular word, and her nerves begin to grow into irritation, but she tries to remain as calm and collected as always.

“Has your father been giving you more responsibilities for—”

“What the hell does it matter to you?”

She can’t keep her expression soft at the rude question. Her nose crinkles and her brows furrow as she narrows her eyes back at him.

“Excuse me?”

Her attitude comes out in less than a second and suddenly she’s crossing her arms and Naoya doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look this upset. There’s a twinge of guilt in his chest knowing he caused it with his coldness, but it passes as he’s quickly reminded of the reality they found themselves in.

“It doesn’t matter to you,” He scoffs, a humorless smile curling on his lips. “So what do you care?”

“What the hell is that supposed to—?”

He interrupts her before she could finish her question.

“What’s the point of even inviting me here, huh? Is this some sick ploy? You want to show off for once?”

Her eyes widened at the accusation out of left field. She doesn’t have a clue what he’s going on about, but it’s making her blood boil. It seemed that even when it came to him, her patience could wear thin. And his time was long overdue.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She mutters at him, wrapping her arms a little tighter around herself. “I invited you because I wanted you to come,” She explained. “And I thought maybe even though this wasn’t your scene, you’d want to come, too”

Naoya rolls his eyes.

“Oh, spare me, pipsqueak,” The old nickname rolls off his tongue with nothing short of disgust, and he can see the way she recoils upon hearing it said in such a way. “You invited me, I came. We’re done now, yeah? You can run back to Satoru now”

Oh, he hadn’t missed the way she’d oh so affectionately called the world’s strongest sorcerer by his first fucking name.

(y/n) scowls back at him, which was something unfamiliar to the both of them. She was always the calm one, the collected, soft spoken one. Now she looked seconds away from smacking him across the face.

“What the hell is wrong with you tonight?” Her eyes are wide as they study his expression, trying to figure out what was going on in his head, seeing as he definitely wasn’t going to just be honest with her. “I mean, fuck, is it really so hard for you to believe I wanted you here?”

Naoya scoffs again, leaning back and facing away from her as he covers the upset expression on his face. This only makes her more upset, and the harsh laugh that escapes her throat is anything but humored.

“You’ve got to be kidding! After all this time, you can’t just say it can you? You can’t be real with me for even a minute?” She moves forward, trying to grab him by the arms to turn him to face her, but he doesn’t budge, and shrugs her off.

He couldn’t have her looking at him right now. Not when he was losing the battle of masking all of his emotions.

She huffs in defeat and throws her arms down when she fails to get him to look at her already. Against her will, her anger turns into something worse as tears begin to prick the corners of her eyes.

“You know, I was actually upset when my father said he wasn’t going to take me to see you anymore,” She spits at him, but the tiny waiver in her voice betrays her. She swallowed thickly to try to relieve the burn in her throat, but it was no use. He’d already heard the crack in her voice, and finally, he’s just barely turning his head to peek down at her. “Because I— I might not have known what I wanted, but I spent m-my whole, life, thinking that it’d always be y-you n’ me in the end”

His irritation is washed away as soon as he sees those doe eyes filled with tears. When he was younger, and more of a bratty asshole than a regular asshole, he would’ve loved to make her tick like this. He would’ve felt pride knowing he’d reduced her to childish tears.

Right now, he thinks he could throw up.

Suddenly too much of his attention is on her for her liking, and when he pulls his hands out of his pockets to reach for her, she smacks both of his hands away as harshly as she could bring herself to do.

“(y/n)—” He tried to scold her but she wasn’t having it, already gathering the skirt of her dress to storm off and leave him there.

“Forget it. You’re right. We’re nothing to each other now, right?” She laughs bitterly as she leaves as fast as she can in the stupid heels she’d decided to wear.

“I didn’t— (y/n)!” He breaks into a slight jog to catch up with her, darting in front of her to keep her from walking away too easily. “For fucks’ sake, would you just pause for a second?”

She glares at him, as well as she can through the tears clouding her vision.

“Why are you crying?” He asks, his tone significantly more gentle than before, but it still doesn’t quite cross that line into genuine compassion. It makes her scoff, before she’s roughly wiping the wetness from her cheeks.

“Because,” She answers lamely, looking down at her hands to make sure she wasn’t smearing makeup all over her face. “Because— you—! Why didn’t you at least call?”

His brows furrow, not following where her argument was going.

“Or write?” She adds before he can question her. “I haven’t seen you in a year, did you just… just…” Her chest is rising and falling unsteadily as she tries to catch her breath before she starts to cry again, but her efforts are futile. The longer she looks at him and his voice of emotion, the more the urge to sob her pathetic eyes out overwhelms her. “You forgot about me” She declares, quietly, her eyes shifting between his before focusing on the ground.

“Forgot about you?” He repeats her, clicking his tongue as she shakes his head.

She refuses to look at him, so he catches her chin under his forefinger, tilting her head upwards with a surprising amount of gentleness. She still tries to glare at him, but her furrowed brows and big sad eyes do nothing to ward him off.

“(y/n), I didn’t forget about you,” He tells her with more sincerity than she’s ever heard out of him before. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out, I really am, alright? But the old man said you were off to Tokyo and you had other— real suitors to look for,” He explains, golden eyes never once leaving hers so that she could see he was telling her the truth. “What was I supposed to do, hm? What did you want me to do?”

Her lips quiver as they move, but no real words come out. He watches as she tries, as they form various shapes but inevitably she shakes her head as another tear slips down her cheek. She doesn’t know what he should’ve done, and what she wanted was too tall of an ask.

“(y/n),” He sighs, a frown forming on his face that makes her worried about what he had to say next. “You are far too powerful, and far too desirable as a suitor to be cryin’ over someone like me, alright?” He tells her. She opens her mouth to say something, but he’s quicker. “If anything, you should’ve forgotten about me as soon as you heard we weren’t—”

“I didn’t want to,” She finally finds her voice, her nose wrinkling as she sniffles quietly. “I didn’t want to forget. I— I didn’t want to go to Tokyo to meet other suitors, I— I didn’t even want to go out with that guy back in high school, I— I just—” Her stutter worsens and Naoya fits his palm over her cheek, not knowing what to say to soothe her emotions.

Her eyes shut and she leans into the warmth of his hand. She squeezes her eyes shut even tighter as she recalls when he’d last touched her like this. He’d kissed her, then.

“I wanted more time with you. I— I thought I’d have more time with you” She admits, barely raising above a whisper.

Naoya frowns when she looks up at him, her lashes sticky from her tears, her eyes full of an emotion he didn’t know what to do with. Of course he’d sweep her off her feet and kiss her until every tear had dried if he could.

So he shakes his head at her, a sad smile on his lips as he does.

“No, pipsqueak, you don’t want that,” He tells her with as much certainty as he can muster. She argues with him as she shakes her head back at him, and he even chuckles a bit. “You don’t,” He tells her seriously. “You need to be with someone your father has approved—”

“No I don’t,” She speaks up this time, shaking her head a little more vigorously to make her point. “I don’t, I don’t need him to—”

“(y/n), I’m serious,” He tells her, cupping her face in both hands now so she had to look at him and see just how much he meant it. “You wanted out of the arrangement, remember? You have a thousand lives to live still, you said so yourself. You wanted travel? And to exorcize curses?”

She frowns as he uses her words against her, and he sighs softly, his thumb stroking over her soft cheekbone thoughtfully. He shouldn’t even be this close to her, but he can’t help it. Seeing her cry because of him had his instincts making him do crazy things he’d come to regret soon enough.

“Why can’t I have both?” She mumbles, her eyes flickering between his.

He chuckles, and for a moment he actually smiles down at her.

“We don’t always get everything we want, pipsqueak” He mumbles, his thumb trailing downwards, around her smile line, and halting just under her lower lip.

“And that’s what you want, too?” She asks him, her brows knotting together. “You don’t want to see me anymore? You want me to— to go find another suitor in someone else?”

He would literally rather be dragged to the deepest pit of hell and burn for all of eternity without a second of relief from the pain.

His brow twitches.

“If that’s what’s best for you, then, yes” Naoya answers carefully.

“That’s not a real answer” She argues.

“It is” He retorts.

“It’s not,” She leans forward, close enough and fast enough that Naoya leans away to keep the distance between them. Her brow furrows. “If you didn’t want to see me anymore, then why did you come tonight?”

His suspicions were correct. He won’t hold up well being interrogated by her.

“It’s your birthday, you invited me” He states the facts, dropping his hands from her face.

(y/n) rolls her eyes, and she’s quick to grab his wrists, and she holds on tightly, making sure there wasn’t a chance he’d yank away from her.

“For once,” Her voice is soft, pleading. “Just once, please, just be honest with me,” She begs him, her eyes wide and round and just as hopeful as her words. “Please, Naoya, just… just tell me something real”

He can’t. And even worse he shouldn’t. If he were to stand before her right now and tell her precisely how bad he wanted her, that he thought about calling or writing every day since she’s been gone, that he’d lay awake at night considering a life of an unmarried clan head that would be hated both by his own clan and every other one, just because the thought of having to marry anyone but the girl he’d sworn himself to at eight years old made him physically sick. If he was honest with her now, there would be no taking any of it back. At this point, they could be redeemed. He could leave her now, hope for the best with her life with Gojo of all people, and maybe he’d have some peace of mind knowing she was at least treated well.

But there would always be that voice. The nagging one in the back of his mind. The one that wouldn’t let him rest if he never told her the truth.

And if after all this time she’d still have him, he would allow himself to be completely, utterly hers. If she wanted a life full of travel and long distance assignments, he’d agree to it. He’d bend over backwards to meet any ridiculous condition she held, as long as it meant that at the end of the day he was hers and she was his. He didn’t need a housewife, a cook, a maid, nor a woman to carry his heirs, he wouldn’t ask anything of her for the rest of their lives as long as she would call him hers.

Naoya frowns at her as he sighs, shoulders dropping and arms loosening in her hold as she stares at him expectantly. To his surprise, when he pulls them away, she lets him. Her hands fall slack at her sides, her face shadowed with hurt as she waits for him to turn and walk away from her.

He steps forward, closing the distance between them and laying his hands under her jaw, tilting her towards him just enough so it was easier for him to bend down and slam his lips against hers.

Her own hands are grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket and pulling, pulling, pulling until he’s practically stumbling just to get a little bit closer to her. Naoya drops a hand from her face in order to curl it over her hip, squeezing tightly before wrapping his arm around her back, keeping her snug against his chest so she couldn’t pull away before he was ready to let her go.

And that time had to come at some point, even though he’d die standing here just to kiss her for a few seconds longer. They’re already panting between messy kisses, neither one of them ready to give up just yet.

“Don’t,” She mumbles in between kisses, her hands reaching up to lay around his neck, fingers carding through the hair that laid over his nape, before curling and holding on to him there. “Don’t leave”

The hand that he still had resting around her cheek squeezed softly, and the kiss he gives her with it is slower, and lingers for just a few seconds longer than before. (y/n) squeezes her eyes shut, trying to hold onto every second of it, worried he was going to decide it was the last one.

When he pulls away, he doesn’t go far. His forehead is glued to hers, and their lips brush when he speaks quietly.

“Nothing could keep me from you, princess,” He murmurs, his thumb stroking her cheek in soothing movements. “I would’ve readily, happily taken you as my wife,”

Her eyes swell with tears again, and he’s quick to brush the wetness from under her lashes before they could fall. She’s overwhelmed with emotion. She’s never heard him speak so softly, so sweetly. Her heart is beating erratically, and holds onto him a little tighter, knowing now that her feelings had been reciprocated, that she wasn’t just making things up.

“I mean it, (y/n),” He continues, eyes moving between hers. “You were everything I ever wanted. I… I couldn’t stand not having you. It was always supposed to be you and me”

A watery laugh escapes her, her lips tilting into a smile as she shuts her eyes to try and will the tears to subside.

“Y-you do, you do have me,” She tells him through a whimper, before stealing a chaste kiss and rambling on again. “It’s always been you, I always wanted it to be you,” She cries. “I— I love you, Naoya”

Her face has never burned as much as it does now. In all her years of training herself to have complete control over her emotions, it feels as though a dam has been broken clean through. The honesty with herself and with him was so long overdue, it was as though as soon as she admitted it, a weight was lifted, a blockage removed from her path, and her heart felt so full it was as though the feeling couldn’t possibly be contained just by the beating muscle. For years she found herself picking apart Zen’in Naoya, reading between backhanded comments and a cold exterior, and it was taxing work, but the reward had proven to be oh so worth it.

His lips curl into a faint smile, in pure disbelief that this was happening right now. Her hands in his hair so tightly it would hurt to move, her face so close he could kiss her without moving a full inch, everything about her, from her pretty face to her genuine words, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind how he felt about her.

His smile twists into more of a grin as he reaches his hand up to push a stray lock of hair out of her face.

“I love you too, pipsqueak,” He tells her softly, earning a sweet smile out of her. “Bit unconventional though, don’t you think?”

“Good,” She murmurs, tilting forward to brush her lips over his. “I hate the outdated bullshit” She adds in a whisper before locking her lips with his again.

Naoya kisses her deeply. He kisses her like each one was going to be their last, like this was some cruel dream that he was going to wake up from anytime now, so he’d have to savor it. (y/n) hums delightedly into his mouth, eagerly returning the long-awaited passion.

“So you don’t want to marry me now?” He teases in between a couple more kisses. (y/n) laughs, struggling to meet his lips as she does.

“I couldn’t possibly accept a proposal on my birthday,” She scolds. “You’ll have to do better than that”

“Alright, fine then,” He agrees. “If you don’t make me hang around Gojo the rest of the night, I won’t propose”

She grins, looping her arms behind his neck and tilting her head at him with an affectionate look in her eye. There wasn’t a moment that she wasn’t beautiful, but he always thought she was the most beautiful when she was looking at him. It was as though she glowed.

He’d have to find a way to make it up to her— all the time he wasted not telling her how beautiful she truly was. He’d likely spend the rest of his life reminding her, and even then, he doesn’t think it would be enough.

“You’ve got a deal, Zen’in” She replies, before tilting onto the tips of her toes again to steal one more kiss.

It would prove to be difficult to explain to her father that the man she’d previously tried to prove she didn’t love and therefore couldn’t marry is now the only one she could ever love, and that when she thought about the distant future, she could only see herself by his side, no matter his clan, it was Naoya her heart belonged to. But she’s sure she could find some way to tell him the whole story and win him over the same way she’d been won over.

And if not, there was always eloping. She was the only heir to her clan after all. How hard could it be to pull some strings in the name of young love?

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

bonus:

To whom it may concern of the (y/l/n) estate,

While it is my understanding that your intentions aren’t to wed (y/n) off without her say in the matter, I’m writing to you to declare myself as her proper suitor. I plan on waiting a long while before officially making her my wife, but when the time is right and I’m sure that she won’t come to regret the choice, I will be taking her hand in marriage.

I’ve thought of her as my bride to be since we were children. Whether I was thrilled about the idea at the time or not, it was certain. She was my one true destiny, and that still rings true today. The truth is I love your daughter. And the prospect of making her my wife is something I’ve kept to myself for a long, long time.

When the time is right I will come to you in hopes of receiving a proper blessing. Trust that your family will have the full support and allyship for as long as we both shall live, and trust that your daughter will be in good hands, of a man who isn’t marrying out of satiating clan politics, but completely, and deeply out of his love for her.

Sincerely, Zen’in Naoya.

“Naoya?”

A tired voice from behind him has the man leaning up from his desk, just as he’s tucked his nearly written letter into a fresh envelope. (y/n) sits up slowly off the bed, rubbing one eye as she squints at him in the dark.

“What’re you doin’ up?” She mumbles. “Writing?”

“It’s nothing, pipsqueak,” He murmurs, standing from his chair and sliding it quietly back into place before making his way over to her. “Let’s go back to sleep, hm? It’s late”

“That’s what I’m sayin’,” She mumbles back at him. She coos when he’s back in bed and she’s able to curl back up on his chest. It doesn’t take long for sleep to overcome her again. “G’night” “Goodnight, my love”

[ he lives for love... ]

___

a/n: there i did it i wrote a big ol' soft piece about na*ya zen'in bcuz i have a bitchass 'i can fix him' mentality </3

xoxo ~ jordie

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