#call this a minor vent
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my favorite part of being a fan of linebeck is ignoring literally everything that spirit tracks implies about him
#noooot tagging this i might delete it later#im gonna be real! i hate everything st suggests about him! which is why im not tagging this and why im delete it later#call this a minor vent#to me. TO ME. it feels like a fair bit of (what i know) seems to go against what you see in ph in favor of like. legacy character stuff#its not like character assassination but its. too much. yknow? and its a lot of the kind of character epilogue stuff that i just despise#to be clear this is not me making some objective statement im just saying i personally despise p much everything st suggests#likely my most contentious linebeck opinion tbh. so uh. yeah#bonus??? i really hate the just. reusing of his model (i just think using the same model for descendants n shit is fucking lazy and sucks)#and also his theme??????? which imo is more egregious bc it fucks with what meaning there could be to it i hate flippant reusing of themes#like fine i get it but it kinda devalues it as a character theme. whatever. i dont like what st suggests abt him
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If I don't get paid soon I'm going to start plotting arson.
#for legal reasons this is a joke#but seriously#I am so fucking pissed#“Hi I'm calling to ask about the delay in receiving my paycheck?”#“Oh it shouldn't be delayed!”#“... So. Where is my paycheck I should have gotten three days ago?”#“Right here on my desk!”#“Can I *have* my paycheck?”#“Sure. Lemme send you an email so you can confirm your mailing address you've had all year.”#Spoilers#she did not send an email#and I have not been payed#Lady I am not going to your school for free#I really don't want to walk six miles just to to bring this right to you in person#because you HAD to put your building a ridiculous distance away and alone none of the bus routes#gingerno#minor vent post#I am just. So pissed#I really don't want to dip into my savings for my next tuition payment
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mild vent :3
whyyyyyyyy am I so tired lately it is terrible, I havent a clue why i feel so tired
and to make it worse, i have TOO MUCH energy just not physical energy making a terrible combo of hyper brain and dead tired otherwise
and the hyper makes me wish to be more social and DO TASKS but I only manage to do anything for a few hours before my head decideds to nope out and i cant focus on anything
because tired....and fuzzy head that smothers the hyper....sort of
THIS IS TERRIBLEEEEEEEEEEE terrible combo T^T
#jcrambles#cw minor vent#im matching my.............whatever the thing you can change on your blogs called#but the low energy part </3
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I'm annoyed but it's fine.
#venting#minor issues#they could have called me to tell me the filled the position and let me go to freaking bed
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forcing myself to function through anxiety feels like im piloting an animatronic of myself
#very out of body like keep urself warm bc that helps with anxiety and forcing myself to eat and drink and i even wrote a whole cover letter#and im about to handwash laundry and the whole time my body feels like static#listen im like fine im anxious bc my grandma is now on hospice care and is declining fast and im across the globe from my family#and i was already anxious about a job interview thursday and about not having ajob yet and about my lease ending and about some minor healt#problems im experiencing and about my current research fellowship abroad so now im just in a constant anxiety attack#and tbh i want to talk to my mom about it but shes busy handling everything with my dying grandma#which like her health has been declining for two years it just took a rapid turn this weekend so its not a surprise just this is#bad timing for me personally to be processing this and dreading a call from home#like i'll be fine its just anxiety and stress and like certainly not the first time ive faced grief#i dont really want to talk about it#i just needed to vent it in some way bc i dont really want to talk to the students here about it
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hrjjwnnynfntmfntmdnrrkbfjrbtrkbtb
#what is it with my family and not feeling like i can make any of my own choices#my dad reaaaalllyyyy thinks i should go to the rink tomorrow morning because people there want to see me#and like yes they do but since when was this your decision to make dad#Since always honestly#with my dad it’s like i can never make a decision for myself without feeling like im letting someone down#At least my mom is fucking mask off about it so i resist her more out of spite. that’s easier#my dad will never explicitly force me into something but he will always put me in situations where i don’t feel like i have a choice anyway#Ofc bc now if im here tomorrow morning when my mom wakes up she’s going to question why i decided not to go to the rink#so my choice in the matter is gone because it’s no longer go or not go#it’s go or disappoint everyone and have your actions questioned and judged#I’m not a human being in this house#even when it comes to the most minor decision making over the most minute things#i am an object whose purpose is to please others#and they still have the audacity to turn back around and call me indecisive. You do not give me the ability to decide#You manipulate every decision i could make into an inescapable catch#like screw you and everything you have ever said about me#It’s all bullshit#stop lying to me about who i am#as if i have any reason to ever believe you. as if you know better than i do#and yes if this were only about the current situation i would be heinously overreacting#but you have to understand this is not just about this situation#this is just a small example of the dynamic i dealt with my entire life while i lived here#and that’s why it upsets me so much#as an adult i’m aware of it and i refuse to fall for it anymore#but as a kid? the damage this did to my self esteem and boundaries was immeasurable#and as an adult i bear the grudge i was not allowed to hold as a child#that’s why a situation so small as this irks me so intensely#venting tag#cherry speaks
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I'm a predator just for letting minors interact with my tumblr account? and you're saying my ex is better? they're a self proclaimed predator. posting kink and paraphilia content constantly. claiming to have an abuse kink. I remember them posting all that same shit while having minors in close ranks. I remember being really open about my sa trauma and having them post cnc and rape mentions and depictions constantly. I remember them telling us we had to be sober but then dropping valium and dxm and day drinking constantly. I remember being urged to recover from my ed and seeing them post triggering content constantly. I remember talking to someone who gave me a lot of praise and attention and then waking up to find them calling me their boyfriend. I remember never being asked if I was okay with being in a polyamorous arrangement. I remember being threatened with violence if I ever left. but I'm a predator for letting teenagers interact with my blog.
#🌹.sebastian#🫀.vents#yes i was actually anonymous accused of that#and that was the basis behind it#“you allow minors interacting. so you flirt with 16 year olds?”#“they love me more than they ever loved you” also gave away the fact that they're with my ex#I don't know who you are but i know where you're trying to attack me from#and it's fucking dumb of you#because all you could do was make a false claim that you could use on any man#and then call me a drunk and leave#fuckin idiot#I don't give a shit about them or you#stay with your cult. I'll stay with the people who actually love me
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every time i see the word "delulu" i cringe so hard its like hooooly fuck those ppl would hate me and my "everyone can read my mind im always being watched/theres bugs crawling on me all the time/someones going to kill me" bullshit LOLLLL
#💞 god is calling#🛑 !!CW DELUSIONS!!#<- really minor cw but lie LOLL#not a vent btw just. opinions opinions#ive watched ppl like me get called 'delulu' for#literally being .. mentally ill#like. in front of me#before my face. DIRECTED at my conversation#and its like#what is fucking wrong with you actually#its not funny? its not funny. its not funny why are you#joking about it??#i hate tiktok and twitter for getting it popular#i really do
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photos
photos where the subject is staring directly down at the camera make me uncomfortable
#photography#photos#portaits#i think that's what they're called#direct gaze#portrait photos#portrait photo#portrait photoshoot#direct gaze photography#uncomfortable#icks#minor vent#minor issues#shower thoughts#shitpost#sort of
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You're such a crybaby lmao
What is this even about
#legit.#like I am a huge complainer vent poster I admit it but I cannot think of anything recent this could be referring to???#I can't even be offended because I have no idea what the context is for this.#tbh this is comical to me#I guess if they were looking thru my original post tag it could be something older or just an overall observation rather than smthn recent#and I'll likely never get answers since I doubt this is someone who (still) follows me and since it's on anon they won't get notified#ThornShadow.said#ask#anon#edit: looked thru my recent posts and I liveblog watching movies more than I complain recently and all that is DROWNED out by scammer asks.#but also maybe more posts are reading as serious venting than I mean as such? cuz I sillily post about minor annoyances all the time#IDK maybe my anti advertising post got some new notes and it's about that.#cuz I've been called all sorts of similar stuff over that post.
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#ok minor stress rant that I’ll delete later but just have to vent#I house sat for two weeks for this professor and it was the most stressful and intensive dog sitting I’ve ever done#because they failed to mention all three dogs are rescues with severe medical issues including heart failure#it was. a lot.#I finally get back home yesterday after making the house spotless and I guess I figured I’d get paid yesterday which was maybe naive#instead I find out someone charged $500 to my card fraudulently so I had to get my card frozen#so I’ve had no access to ANY money since yesterday#last time this happened I called my bank and they sorted it out quickly and while on the phone they got me a new card and set it up#and even helped me add it to my digital wallet#this time I called and the girl sounded so confused and said she issued me a new card but to check out their app and I could do all that#except every time I use the app it says the system is down. so I still have no way to access any of my money.#keep in mind this is a hometown credit union so I can’t just run to a branch and pick one up#so I am now on day two without access to money#to make matters more annoying the prof said they’d reach out today to set up payment.#I waited all day until 5 pm and nothing? so I texted to ask if they got home alright or if I can do anything else#and he thanked me and said no I did amazing and it’s much appreciated#and then just. ended the conversation.#like???#sir you put me through HELL for two weeks. I had to give your dogs three baths because of the stuff they got into#you failed to mention your dogs’ complicated medical histories or that one is currently dying#like is it. is it so absurd to expect to be paid the day you say you’re going to pay me#not like I could access it anyway.#I hate this
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One of my coworkers at a sister publication is not here until Monday, and I have been asked to assist my other coworker from that paper with content and newsgathering in the meantime but like I am so fucking exhausted bro I've been borrowing spoons for a month and two weeks and the interest is compounding, I am so worn down I was convinced that I have scurvy like a week ago, started taking large doses of vitamin c which helped a bit but I'm still bone dead tired.
I need a 3 month vacation. I'm fucking dying. I'm in so much pain I keep convincing myself that I have diabetes, kidney stones or both. My joints are killing me, they're so stiff that it takes me a good 15 seconds to stand up from my desk chair. I never bruise, yet I keep getting bruises that I have no idea when I acquired them. And I actually mean that I fractured my wrist bad enough to cause nerve damage and require surgery when I was 18, and the swelling was a couple millimeters and the discoloration a mild yellow tint two weeks after the injury, with no discoloration before then.
I need a break, but I'm stuck working 24/7 and you now want me to do more? And I'm not even mad because the coworker I need to help is in the same boat as I am, she's taking obscure supplements and seeing chiropractors twice a week to try to get better, and I don't have the energy to tell her she's wasting her time, and she's stuck covering the news of a major town on her own, and I really want to help but I can't hold my own body up right now.
UPDATE: it started storming that explains the pain!
#This is a vent#Not an invitation for any armchair diagnoses and unsolicited advice#I know exactly what's going on#I have several nutritional deficiencies because I have some undiagnosed metabolic disorder#And malnutrition causes severe and eventually fatal health complications#I need a vitamin b shot and clinically tested iron supplements and rest and stress reduction#Not someone to click my back and call me cured#I also will not debate about chiropractors they are quacks and exploit chronic illness patients for money#They can somewhat relieve some minor physical symptoms temporarily but nothing more#And supplements are not regulated like at all#Herbal supplements cause drug interactions and can poison you if you take too many of them#I'm not even kidding here please don't take supplements that haven't been clinically tested and proven#To be effective#Even tested and regulated supplements can harm you vitamin c supplements affect adhd medication#And calcium affects iron absorption iirc#Just because it's “all natural” does not mean it's safe#All things in existence are made up of molecules constructed out of the different chemical elements#Chemicals almost always interact with other chemicals#Something being natural does not mean it won't interact with your clinical drugs#Okay I'm done now it's off my chest
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After making a mistake I always apologize a shit ton cuz I feel really bad. But even when the person is like "oh yeah it's all good, now worries" I still feel rlly bad and feel the need to keep apologizing even tho I know it'll either annoy or stress them and/or they'll get exasperated with me and it's so fucking annoying because I don't know how to get the feeling to go awaaaay. It suuuucks. Heellllppppp
#accidentally freaked out my partner after calling them late at night without texting first cuz they thought somethign was wrong#which is fair lol. i dont exactly call them often#and i felt so bad cuz i rlly just neede shelp woth something minor that i figured would be too annoying to tell em over the phone#and like. my partner reassured my its all good and told me what to do to avoid freaking them out in the future#(text them before calling if its late at night so they know what ots about and dont assume the worst lol)#but the feeling is STILL lingering and idk what to do to get it to go away :((#rambling#kinda vent-y but not rlly??#like its nothing heavy but i am writing it out to get it off my chest so like ??? idk man
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