#and then call me a drunk and leave
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I'm a predator just for letting minors interact with my tumblr account? and you're saying my ex is better? they're a self proclaimed predator. posting kink and paraphilia content constantly. claiming to have an abuse kink. I remember them posting all that same shit while having minors in close ranks. I remember being really open about my sa trauma and having them post cnc and rape mentions and depictions constantly. I remember them telling us we had to be sober but then dropping valium and dxm and day drinking constantly. I remember being urged to recover from my ed and seeing them post triggering content constantly. I remember talking to someone who gave me a lot of praise and attention and then waking up to find them calling me their boyfriend. I remember never being asked if I was okay with being in a polyamorous arrangement. I remember being threatened with violence if I ever left. but I'm a predator for letting teenagers interact with my blog.
#🌹.sebastian#🫀.vents#yes i was actually anonymous accused of that#and that was the basis behind it#“you allow minors interacting. so you flirt with 16 year olds?”#“they love me more than they ever loved you” also gave away the fact that they're with my ex#I don't know who you are but i know where you're trying to attack me from#and it's fucking dumb of you#because all you could do was make a false claim that you could use on any man#and then call me a drunk and leave#fuckin idiot#I don't give a shit about them or you#stay with your cult. I'll stay with the people who actually love me
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Mildly worst thing possible - a song that was definitely written to have a 30 sec clip go viral on tiktok is stuck in my head. Unfortunately the 30 sec bit does go hard so the brain worms are multiplying
#Arctic rambles#the bit is repeated 3 times and there is only 1 other verse and then some la da di das#‘so baby come home/ I need you to hold me/ cause it’s getting cold/ and it’s getting stormy/ these nights I’m alone/ but my one and only/#picks up the phone/ and tells me she’s/ never coming home’#LIKE COME ON!#it’s begging for some hangster post break up where one of them is drunk and calling the other who is deployed halfway across the world#or if you want to go really balls to the wall angst… if one of them is dead and the other one keeps leaving voicemails as a way to deal
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I'm very glad I'm as stable in my sobriety as i am bc i am definitely having cravings but I'm still able to think that it's not the answer.
#would being black out drunk feel good and be nice? yes for a few hours very much so#but then the consequences#and there would be many#my next therapy appointment is Tuesday#I'm gonna call tomorrow and see if i cant go a day early#i took away my husband's credit card#or well i told him 'i dont think you're someone who can use a CC responsibly'#and he is leaving it home and i put it in my desk#he is also giving me his bank account password and I'm check both of our accounts every Friday when i go over the budget#there's still a lot of apologies coming from my husband#i think he understands just how much he's fucked up#i told him that for me the last year is tainted now#every moment we shared for the last year he was lying to me#i look back and i feel sick#he might go spend a few nights at his parents to give me space to process and grieve#he doesn't want to tell him parents what he's done tho so i dont know what he'll say to them if he does go there for a few nights#he is also starting therapy asap to work through whatever caused this#and we'll be doing couples therapy in a few months#i still cant believe 10.000 is just gone#anyway#I'm sober and safe#and working on healing#ben gets personal
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i'm gonna be brave and start writing again even though i'm so, so scared to.
#*carly catalogs#tbd#i haven't in over a year and now i fear idk how anymore#but we're gonna try!! 💪#gonna write some angst continuing from 7x03#where drunk!lucy gets the bright idea to call tim (against rachel's constant reminders to NOT call her ex lol)#and she just starts sobbing into the phone asking over and over and over again “why?” “why did you leave me?”#while tim silently listens on the other line and takes every blow she's giving him#okay wish me luck! i'm gonna need it 😭#the rookie#chenford#*my wips
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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thinking about these two most beautiful boys in the whole wide world as i head to bed. i love my twinnies and i love all of u!!!!
#accepting my fate as straddling the line between jake lane and twin lane ❤️#because josh has had me actually so fucked up for weeks now. i cannot keep ignoring this. i love you joshy baby i love you i love you#anyway…. it was a loooooong ass night at my restaurant job tonight. bitches would just not leave and let us close#i was so damn tired and Ready To Leave LMFAO#also the cabernet we have is called josh and people would not stop ordering it tonight.#like. the number of times i had to go to the bar like IM WAITING FOR A JOSH? like. uhhhhhh. yeah i sure fucking am#also kinda drunk and wishing i had a kiszka twin on either side of me!!!! oops!!!!#anyway i love y’all sm <3 goodnight#li speaks#jake#josh
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spent an hour and a half on the phone talking to my friend today :-) idk that was just nice
#boink#he called abt music group stuff but when we ran out of stuff to say on that lol he just changed the subject and kept talking#it was just really nice#he does complex analysis so he tried explaining some of that lol#i tried to explain how a poetry class works lol#we talked abt gender theory a bit#i just really enjoy talking w him#abt anything honestly#hes just interesting#lol#bc hes like so smart but he never gets uppity abt it yk#like hes so much smarter than me but he never acts like it. i r#like hes not condescending abt humanities stuff lmao like most of the stem ppl at least that ik at my school#sometimes i ask him to explain his stuff bc its just interesting tbh and hes actually rlly good at putting stuff in an understanding way#and hes a good listener too#like i always feel like hes actually interested in what i have to say#if were together in a group he doesnt let people talk over me#hes one of the few people i never feel like im annoying when im with them#i got drunk at the last party we were at and i was super talky and i kept apologizing like an idiot#and he said no dont apologize i like listening to you talk#like girl#thats maybe one of the nicest things anyones ever said to me#hes just very lovely#im going to miss him when he leaves
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she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!
#like have some shame omg . have some respect#shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her#not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was#like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig#anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so.#also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn#like genuinely does she have no sense of shame#also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that#no matter what i say i wont reject her#WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH.#I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT#also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao#also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine#lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo#INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc#i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she#said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant#believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off#UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE.#crushposting
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ahhhhh another night out in Great Britain
#went to see the christmas lights switch on#then went to Sainsbury’s#then we went to a nearby field with the intention of getting drunk only when we passed the river there was a guy on the ground foetal posit#ion#and then we called 111 because obviously we’re not going to leave this guy here alone in the middle of the woods#and then he woke up and told us he had fallen and hit his head on a rock and he wanted to be taken back to his tent#in the sense that he got kicked out of several living situations and was now homeless#and gave us the full rundown on his life#we got him to civillisation and he set down his jumper for me to sit on next to him#“i’m a gentleman#and it was just strange#and upsetting#and then once he was in safe hands we split a bottle of jack#and then i ran home a la horse on a highway to all i need by Radiohead
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I think my problem is that everything always comes back to danny phantom with me
#-_-#is it a problem? maybe. do i care? not really.#is it unhealthy? also maybe. am i going to talk about it? absolutely not. unless i get shitfaced drunk#which. actually might fix me a little. just to get suuuuper fucked up and talk about all my brain shit.#why i have such complicated relationships with a lot of things that i genuinely enjoy. head in hands.#i need 2 do like. a hard reset on my brain tonight. im thinking too many things in too many differen directions#i just need to lock onto ONE THING to focus on. but theres so much#iiiiis tonight a good night to eat the microwave pancakes. what do u think.#i do have work in the morning and cannot call off without leaving my coworker on a solo day. so . hmmmm maybe not#i was going 2 stream dredge again tomorrow. and then maybe after that.#who knows. i need that shit out of my freezer though so i stop looking at it
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god i wish i knew you irl lol
Ok WOW so that is like the biggest compliment ever 🥺 Maybe one day our paths will cross anon! I will probably be the one wearing red lipstick and talking a mile a minute (most likely about horses lol) 😂 I know I am *a lot* but I like to think that I'm also a lot of fun! I have a lot of very diverse random interests that people are always like WTF when they come up BUT I like to think that makes me well rounded and able to connect with a variety of people 🤣 Thank you so much for being interested in my life and how all over the place I am!! I hope you are having a lovely Wednesday and that you have a great rest of your week!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#ally lore#yall called it lore yesterday and it made me laugh so im sticking with it#i had a friend send me a tiktok about like how everyone has that one friend that has a ton of side quests#and she was like this is you#and i was like... you're not wrong lol#one of my most chaotic moments was being 21 and drunk in a club with some girls i had met the week before#and we found $150 round trip tickets to Paris for that weekend#so we booked them on our phones in the mens room of the club and went to Paris that weekend#mind you i live in the US#also we were in the mens room because we refused to wait in line for the ladies room#we were asked to leave shortly after hahahaha
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RIP: Me
I fhucken died to death
#every muscle in my body is screaming at me#my legs will be jello for a week#pizza brick in my tumby thank u cici pizza for the brick#tasty tasty pizza brick#imagine. being to tired to person for an entire month.#not leaving the house. not doing practically anything. just. have become one with the bed#then all in one day making phone calls filling out applications getting fucken drunked off you ass and#dancing harder than u have in ur whoel fucken life. and then--STILL DRUNK--taking a 30+min bike ride to cici pizzi#stuffing the everloving shit outta ur face#and then biking allllllllll the way home#i am dead. i have died of deading. dead deaddy deadface over here#f u c k .
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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it
#barely#im learning to lean on the people that care about me#i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past#all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah#work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all#i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass#and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr#and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today#but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao#it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now#a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad#im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help#im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now#that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised#that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao#we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one#today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together#im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore#but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it#fully#for the first time in too long#last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it#fuck that guy so much#just realizing this was amazing wow#so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me#proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹
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I made out with a random guy at a club
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ok so. i went to town with some guys from my trans masc group#Mary's Poppin#brought a flask cos I'm cheap (and didnt know it was frowned upon) + was spiking my own drinks and it was going pretty well#dancing (club swaying side to side) on a stage with them#this guy was also dancing on stage (i am quite drunk at this point)#said his name was Jonas (?) and was getting closer and asking me questions#and i was replying obvs im not rude#getting closer and closer. forehead to forehead#and then he leaned in to kiss me#AAAAAAAAAA#i kissed back (to the best of my ability)(and with a lot of tongue)(idk how much is too much)#(i kept smiling in between so i think he copped a lot of teeth)#(but he didnt complain or anything)#my friends were dancing next to us and i kept looking at them like 'OMG'#and they leaned in and offered to leave if i was uncomfortable but i was chilling so they kept dancing#the guy kept saying i was so cute and hot and i kept saying he was so nice and hot and we were kissing for a fair while#a couple songs worth - over 10 minutes? - idk#he had stubble and it was scratching my face but it wasnt bad#I'd sometimes kiss down his neck and he'd do the same#and he was taller than me so a lot of the time i was just getting his bottom lip#long story short: it was great. he kept touching my butt but kept forgetting to move my arms cos i was focusing on kissing but it was fine#the room we were in closed or something cos after a while everyone was ushered out and we walked out holding hands (my friends as well left#onto an indoor balcony. we made out a bit more there against the railing and my friends went to the smoking area. we eventually stopped cos#he said he had to go to the toilet and my mouth was really dry so we parted ways and i got some water and met up with my friends#and was like omggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!! and for the rest of the night that tiktok audio was playing in my head like#ugh that was crazy I've never actually experienced that sort of atmosphere again before its absolutely electric#also i was later kicked out for having a flask but the security guard was pretty chill cos i wasnt resisting#i called an uber cos my friends were still inside but then they got out and went to get food just as i was picked up :(#overall. a very good night in town.
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♡ — Gojo is drunk and he misses you. He doesn’t seem to understand that you are sitting right in front of him.
“. . . and sh-she’s so talented and pretty . . . my pretty girl . . . you gotta meet her.” SATORU GOJO cocked his head to the side, grinning; his flushed cheeks and ears were a deep shade of red.
The tall man’s legs were outstretched. He was slumped over the arm of your couch, and though he looked like he was on the brink of falling asleep, he continued to ramble on, on, and on.
“Who’s pretty?” You questioned your drunk boyfriend with worry, folding your arms across your chest.
“My girl . . . my baby . . . she’s so . . . I love her. I’m in love. I miss her. I need her.” Satoru’s grin fell into a frown.
Clumsily, he fumbled around until his hand found his phone in his pocket.
“Gonna call her,” he mumbled.
His bright phone screen illuminated his glossy eyes, and it didn’t take long for him to groan in frustration over not being sober enough to find his pretty girl’s contact.
Satoru reached across the coffee table, handing his phone to you.
“Can you call her? I love her so much,” Satoru was on the verge of tears. “I wanna marry my pretty girl.”
“Who am I calling?” Your voice was shaky. As you held his phone in your hands, you tried your hardest to prepare yourself for the worst — hearing Satoru slur out another name.
Satoru’s head snapped in your direction. Strands of his messy white hair fell every which way across his face, but you could still make out his eyebrows, which were pinched in confusion.
“Hmm,” Satoru paused, giving you a slow blink, “you’re not that bright. Everyone knows . . . everyone knows Y/N is mine . . . don’t you know that? She’s my baby.”
You couldn’t fight the urge to grin, nor did you want to.
“Can you hurry?” With a whine, Satoru started to sink down until he was laid out across the couch cushions. “I’m gonna die if you don’t hurry and call her, please. Call her-call Y/N.”
“I’m right here, Satoru,” you said.
He looked at you again, processing your face for a moment. He rolled his eyes.
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No . . . you’re not.”
“Okay, you know what?” With a sigh, you dialed your own number and handed the phone back to Satoru. “Here.”
Satoru eagerly grabbed his phone, smiling ear to ear at the sheer anticipation of getting to talk to you.
Naturally, your phone started to ring, and you answered it, staring at your drunk boyfriend.
“Hello?” You mumbled.
“Y/N? I miss you . . . where are you?”
“I’m right here-”
“Hold on, baby.” Satoru suddenly pulled the phone away from his ear, and he shot you a tired glare. “Can you be quiet, please? I’m trying to . . . to talk to my girlfriend.”
Satoru rolled over onto his side, his back now facing you. He put the phone back up to his ear, whispering, “This woman’s so rude, Y/N. No manners . . . where are you?”
“Satoru, sweetheart, that woman is me. I’m right behind you.” You couldn’t help but laugh just a bit.
Slowly, Satoru rolled back around, his eyes locking with yours as his lips parted to, once again, tell you to be quiet, but his annoyed gaze faded away. It changed into a blank expression. Then, as he studied your face further, there was a brief frown of confusion, but suddenly, his lips broke out into a wide smile. Satoru sat upright, unintentionally sending his phone tumbling to the rug below the couch.
“Y/N?” He motioned you towards his lap. “C’mere, sweetheart. Where’ve you been? I missed you so much . . . so much, baby.”
After tapping the red button on your phone to end the call, you then got up and made your way over. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you down onto his lap without wasting a second, his hands finding your hips as you straddled him, and he continued to ramble on, on, and on.
“Baby, there was this other woman here. She was awful . . . wouldn’t be quiet. Told her I was trying to talk to you, not her.” Satoru pulled you closer. He kissed your neck. “I missed you s-so much. Don’t leave again, okay? I don’t wanna talk to no one ‘cept you, okay, baby?”
“Okay, I promise,” you ran your fingers through his messy white hair. “I also promise to throw out all the alcohol in this house, because clearly, you can’t handle it, can you?”
“I can handle you just fine, baby. Will you kiss me now?” Satoru pulled away from your neck, those lips of his falling into a small pout.
You couldn’t help but sigh and smile over him misunderstanding everything right now.
Your needy, drunk boyfriend placed his large hand on the back of your head, guiding your lips towards his, kissing you deeply. All the while, you couldn’t help but wonder if your boyfriend was this needy when he was sober, but kept it a secret.
He certainly was.
🏷️: @sad-darksoul @priv-rose @yihona-san06 @keriaonmarz @luvvmae @underworldsheiress @notgoodforlife @thewondrousdreamer @levisfavoriteteashop @preciousamethyst @iwanttohitmyself @shoyosdoll @lil-apple-pie @prettypixigrl @sonarspace @averysmolbear @starstoru @starlightanyaaa @dolphin1135 @ioveartfilm @filhadaanarquia @blackdxggr @jaegergirl @gunslxtz @he11okitty-mari @koikohib
#satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x reader fluff#jjk fic#gojo x reader fluff#x reader#tw drinking#cw drinking#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x you
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