#im learning to lean on the people that care about me
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allofuswantgwinam · 1 year ago
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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it
#barely#im learning to lean on the people that care about me#i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past#all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah#work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all#i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass#and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr#and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today#but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao#it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now#a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad#im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help#im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now#that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised#that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao#we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one#today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together#im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore#but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it#fully#for the first time in too long#last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it#fuck that guy so much#just realizing this was amazing wow#so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me#proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹
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lilowoof · 7 months ago
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Time to be whimsical on a sunday night.
But I've been thinking about my upcoming bday (mainly what I wanna do for it/where to eat lmao). But something else that has been on my mind is that in a few years I will be entering my 30s. And I am strangely excited for it??
The mid to late 20's have been really hard on me and honestly, I wasn't expecting to still be around to ever reach my 30s. But here I am! I finished my main schooling!!! And while I am suffering with some sort of mental boo boos, I am slowly learning more about myself and slowly trying to let go of all the past demons. It's taking time but eventually I will be ok again.
I have the power to get out there to meet new ppl, and ppl who are around the same cycle of life as I am. And it's exciting to think about! While I would love to devote most of my time to salmon running, I've lately come to realize that I wanna put my time more into my life on top of that. Meet someone who I can actually connect and grow with. Where I can still salmon run and game but also experience more in the life ahead of me! (and perhaps some couple gaming? I've always liked that in past relationships hehhe)
Do I wanna get married? IDK! But damn do I want to get proposed to. And I wanna go to more events in the city!!! And more P!nk concerts (tho it's getting to be a bit too expensive now hahah...)
LIKE. Life ain't perfect and I am anticipating some hard upcoming struggles. I am still dealing with financial abuse and repairing my savings after those issues. BUT LIKE. LIFE is still going, and I can try my best to make it the best it can be!!!!
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i feel like more people need to realize we are all share the same sky and none of us are truly ever alone
#sorry im just htinking about how happy i am how better i am how i take showers now and have friends how I'm nice to my dad and I'm able to#hug him but still talk to my mother i have food and water and blankets i have friends and i am loved changes are scary and I'm still scared#but i remember how happy i am how younger me or even me from a week or month ago or years ago would be proud and still root for me to live#one day ill have a house of my own a life of my own memories to share and love but new ones to experience and in all of them i was never#alone i always had someone to love me and live for i always had a purpose I've had one since i was born which was to be my sisters friend a#and be someone to lean on and i still uphold that i try to support everyone i can since i know how hard it is to not be at the worst times#i hug and tell everyone i love them 24/7 i tell everyone they are amazing since i never know when ill look back on this all and regret not#saying it everytime i hug my dad and he says calm down kylie i always say you'll miss this in 10 years as a joke but i think about it so mu#so much i dont know if ill know any of you in 10 years but I'm happy to be talking to you now I'm happy to know that there's people out the#there who are kind and have fun thoughts who makea fun silly art and chat with me and care about me and try to help me and ill never see yo#why do i have a voice in my head and think about t you all the time when i don't even know you? its crazy but i love it so much you all ha#have watched me grow and change watch me get older and my hair grow longer watch me be happy and i think about that how i might be in your#brain or memories at one point how i have a impact just like how everyone has an impact on me what I'm saying is that no one is ever truly#alone everyone is filled with love and memories to share everyone has a different view on the world and no one truly has the same and i thi#think thats just so special and i get to see it! i get to talk to people everyday and listen and learn and its so special
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snekdood · 2 months ago
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anyways the reason a lot of cis men move to the right is because they're isolated and outcasted when they come into leftist spaces for not knowing Every Possible Progressive Thing Under The Sun Immediately and now since they have no friends for being new to leftism they go to the right because its the only place welcoming them.
#its not 'grrr i hate you im a fascist now' (though it very well can be) its just like. natural for humans? we naturally desire connection?#and if no one on the left is offering connection in any capacity.... why stay#thats why you find a lot of guys who lean toward the right but still talk about caring about minorities.they probably do in a really...#uninformed and probably micro aggression-y way but. they still do care in some capacity... not the ones who think you need to stop being#gay i mean the ones who are actually ok with trans people. they Do exist in fact. its weird but like i said- the right is the only#place they're welcome. which is why- even though im really fucking mad at him for how he handles religion and i think hes#dumb and wrong about it entirely and kind of sounding a bit fashy when he talks about it- its why places like vaush's community is#important. its a middle ground for the guys who *want* to lean more progressive but dont feel welcome elsewhere bc they dont know#Every Progressive Thing Ever Immediately like a lot of progressive places demand. so they go there and learn and then#come out the other side more progressive and having actually learned some things hopefully andhopefullymovedonfromvaushbutyknow#i at least hope if they do watch him theyre critical of his anti theism and the ironic misogyny bc i hate that he normalized the latter#in me for a bit...#but yeah... they go be in that space where they can still be a little edgy but actually maybe move over to the left and hopefully grow up#from that shit.
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memesandthingsilike · 2 years ago
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.-.
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wooahaes · 10 months ago
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svt - with a shy partner
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pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader
prompt: svt with a partner who is shy(/kinda anxious).
genre: mostly fluff. established relationship in all.
warnings: reader getting anxious. some food mentions throughout. alcohol/clubbing mentions in soonyoung's (reader has a shitty time) + mentions of reader having shitty friends in soonyoung's. seungkwan yelling at someone being a dick in his. vernon fakes sick. usage of 'dude' as a term of endearment in vernon's. minghao being affectionately evil. chan being a lovable menace for a moment to distract them (teasing + tickling reader). intentional lowercase, no proofreading.
daisy’s notes: sorry some of these are longer than the others, i just wanted to write mostly affectionate sweet established relationships. also this is probs veering into anxiety territory at some points im sure.
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choi seungcheol
seungcheol knew that you loved him softly. this would never be an issue with him: some people simply weren't loud when it came to loving others, and he was never going to turn away your subtle touches and loving words. being outgoing was hard for you even now in life, where seungcheol had learned to manage it well. therefore, he knew how to take care of you in social situations. he would lead conversations when you were faltering, and he always stayed close to you just to give you someone to latch onto when things were getting to be too much. shy as you were, you still tried sometimes.
and now he was on his way to save you from yet another conversation with the only two friends of his you allowed to tease you.
joshua was snickering at whatever jeonghan had said to you to make you shrink into your sweater (the one that matched seungcheol's, with the heart patches on the elbows), and you looked as though you might drown yourself in the soft fabric if jeonghan didn't stop. but seungcheol knew as well as you did that all it would take is you saying a firm 'quit it' for both men to back off. they were harmless, through and through. but the moment seungcheol was close enough, you already sought refuge at his side, burying your face into his sweater. he could feel your face burning hot.
"what are you saying to them now?" seungcheol rolled his eyes, arm wrapped around you. "are you trying to kill them?"
"all i did was point out that you two are matching again," jeonghan hummed. "it's not my fault they get embarrassed when i point it out."
joshua rolled his eyes. "cheollie to the rescue again."
"shua!" you peeked back at him, lips pressed into a very cute pout. "cheollie, they're bullying me again..."
seungcheol fought back a laugh. that was always how these things played out. jeonghan and joshua, two of your longtime friends, would tease you a little, and then you would pout at your cheollie while he protected you. hell, the latter half was usually how seungcheol saved you from other silly things. he'd been the "excuse me, they asked for no pickles" kind of boyfriend to you time and time again... mainly because he knew you'd hold your tongue otherwise, trying not to bother people. but with these two? you were comfortable playing this little game.
so seungcheol squared up a little. "are they?"
jeonghan rolled his eyes. "here they go again." and he grabbed joshua by his elbow, leading him away with an excuse. if seungcheol hadn't been matching you, maybe they would have played... but something about matching anything gave seungcheol this weird boost of strength.
seungcheol rolled his eyes in turn, wrapping his arms around you as he turned his attention away from them. "i'm glad you're okay with them, you know." he let out a blissful sigh. "it's cute to see you embarrassed."
"cheollie..." you pouted again, eyes meeting his own. you glanced around the room, suddenly acutely aware of how you'd been holding onto him. no doubt your face was burning hot with embarrassment again. "can we go home now?"
he chuckled, leaning to kissing the top of your head. "we can," he promised. "let's go."
yoon jeonghan
if there was one thing that endeared jeonghan to you, it was the cute flustered expression you had whenever he started flirting with you. no matter how long the two of you had been dating, all he had to do was call you adorable to see your eyebrows shoot up, lips agape as you made some comment about how the two of you were 'past that' now. his favorite moments, however, were these: you were trapped on one end of the couch, legs draped over his lap, and he was toying with you idly. sometimes it'd be admiring your hands, or complimenting your hair, or pointing out how much he admired you sense of style...
today? he'd been pinching your cheeks with that wicked giggle you loved (even if you refused to admit it sometimes). "you're just so cute," he snickered. "i'm so lucky..."
"hannie..." you whined, eyes still pinned to the tv screen. "you're missing it."
your face was burning hot underneath his touch, though. a little win in his book. "i'm trying to appreciate you right now," he teased. his gaze flickered back to the tv, where the male lead was (finally) confessing his love. "what does he have that i don't?"
"jeonghan, i--'
"do you like him more than me?" he teased you further, leaning in. "i could be him. he couldn't be me, though."
your gaze met jeonghan's as you pouted a little, yet never pulled away from his touch. "jeonghan..."
"i'll re-do my confession to you," he dropped one hand to rest on the outside of your thigh, leaning in. that jovial expression dropped for a moment as he became completely serious for a moment, playing it up all too well, "i'm in love with you. do you... could you be in love with me, too?" he traced your bottom lip with his thumb. "i know you once loved joshua, but--"
and that was your breaking point as you pushed his hand away, already snorting. "jeonghan!"
before you could try to dive away from him, jeonghan had wrapped his arms around you, that airy laugh punctuating his break in character. he pulled you back in, head resting on your shoulder. "you're too easy to mess with," he giggled. "you should have never told me you had a crush on joshua, by the way."
you rolled your eyes, snuggling in. "noted."
joshua hong
joshua knew how to calm you down when your shyness was getting the better of you. he wordlessly wrapped his own stretchy, bead bracelets around your wrist, and ran his thumb across the beads. you told him once that it helped you for some reason (you'd never figured out the cause), and that had been enough for joshua to always keep at least one bracelet on him. even in a formal event like this. you had made the sacrifice of coming to his work event with him, the lead he could do was ensure you were taken care of.
one of the higher-ups had struck up conversation with you, and joshua knew that it made you far more nervous. you'd answered their questions as best as you could about your own work, your college, your life... and the occasional stammer was enough to give you away to him. joshua knew you were terrified of slipping up, of saying the wrong thing. he'd been the one who spoke for you in several other situations, but he knew what other people would think if he kept doing it. he shouldn't speak for you. or, even worse, that you were rude for not speaking for yourself. he could stand people thinking badly of him, but of you?
he'd silently rolled the bracelet off his own wrist while no one was looking, and pulling it over your own when pretending to inspect your watch. it looked out of place at this formal event, but it was fine. he kept a hold on your hand, thumb running across the beads. for a moment, you looked at joshua, and then gave him the subtlest of smiles before resuming your space.
when he brought it up, you already had an answer. "it's because you're there with me," you told him later that night while sitting outside of a burger place. you'd been stealing his fries, but he didn't care. he was out of that place, and so were you. you could take everything if you wanted. you'd already taken his heart, what else did he have left that wasn't yours already?
"but you know that." he said. his tie was loose around his neck, the top few buttons undone. his jacket had been left in the car he left parked down the street. the two of you needed a real meal after the appetizers (or the 'horse divorce' as you had whispered to him to get him to laugh) were barely enough to feed either of you. "i'm never gonna leave you alone in situations like this."
"i know." you averted your gaze when you said it, ever the bashful one when it came to acknowledging his affections. "i just... i like it when i know you're there. and i like wearing the bracelets you make. it just makes me feel more connected to you, if that's okay."
he leaned over, lips pressing against your cheek. "that's always okay," he said, voice softer. "we're a team. i've got you, alright?"
you smiled again that same sweet smile he'd kiss goodnight forever if you'd let him. "alright." and then you snagged another fry from his meal, eyes flickering up to meet him. "thanks for being on my team, shua."
for you? he'd be anything you needed. teammate, cheerleader, manager... just say the word.
wen junhui
"you forgot them."
jun wasn't afraid to speak up for you. seungkwan had been getting a head count of the group since he'd been the unlucky volunteer to go back inside the vacation home to get drinks, and he paused immediately at jun's casual statement. his gaze flickered over to where you were sitting next to jun, visibly flustered, and everyone else had suddenly shut up.
"huh?"
jun waved it off casually. "you forgot to count them," he said, arm curling around you. "just don't forget to get their drink."
"it's okay," you squeezed his hip gently. "i could have gotten my own drink--"
"seungkwan lost the game, so it's his job," jeonghan called out from his spot on the other side of the fire. he was always so mindful of you and how you got timid when around the full group. "don't be sorry about it."
"seungkwan should be sorry," chan said without missing a beat. "he's the one that forgot them."
mingyu caught seungkwan by the back of his shirt before he could step towards chan, instead pulling him back into his arms with a lighthearted laugh. "i'll help you," he said. "come on. let's get everyone their drinks."
you watched the two wander off, fingers already curling around the edge of jun's shirt. all you had to do was give it the slightest tug to earn his attention. "you didn't have to do that," you said softly.
his brows raised a little. "hm?" he looked toward where the pair had left. "did you want to get your own drink?"
"no, i..." you pursed your lips. how did you say 'i'm used to being forgotten' without it sounding bad? you were typically the quieter one in a group. if you weren't with your close friends, then people seemed to overlook you by accident--just as seungkwan had done. "it's normal for me, that's all."
"it's his job, though," jun said, as casual as he could be about it. "if you wanted to get your own drink, that's fine--but it shouldn't be because he miscounted."
if it wouldn't net him a little teasing, you would kiss him here. even a chaste kiss on the cheek earned teasing with all his friends present. so you just snuggled in, knee pressing against his, and gave him a quick squeeze around the middle. it was subtle enough no one would comment on it.
"thank you, jun," you said softly. "i..." get nervous with large groups. but he already knew that.
even if it earned him a little teasing, he leaned in to press a kiss into your hair. "i've got you," he promised. "don't worry. i'll always remember you."
kwon soonyoung
all of this fucking sucked and there was no place you wanted to be more than home. but you were always a bit of a pushover, always the person who said no to going out, to going to clubs, to doing things in highly busy places when you could barely move... and yet here you were, completely miserable. why did your friends even invite you to places like this now? you'd compromised with them in the past (clubs that were a little less packed than the one you were in, or going to karaoke to drink and sing so they could get loud if they wanted), but it felt like those days were slipping away now. you hugged yourself tight, trying to make yourself smaller as you kept to a side table while they danced their hearts out with strangers. it was too loud and too cramped, and your drinks tasted disgusting, and you'd swallowed your struggles for the past few hours. when was the last time your friends did something you wanted to do...?
then your phone lit up. tap tap?
you responded in kind: tap tap.
be there in ten!
soonyoung had established this system with you forever ago. he'd gone off talking about his experience in martial arts and that tapping out was basically the way to get out of it all. you'd expressed a little confusion over the subject: wasn't the point of martial arts to, you know, to fight? but he'd played with your fingers idly, humming to himself as he considered the way to explain it simplest.
"everyone has different limits," was what he had settled on, looking up to meet your eyes that day. "so if you meet your limit... just text that to me and we can leave. no one has to know what it means."
you gathered your things as silently as you could, just to ensure you still had your belongings at this point. you danced with your friends earlier, only to tap out of that when you wanted another drink. someone had said something raunchy to you, and been kind-of a dick when you tried to innocently mention you had a boyfriend (then why are you even here?). thus you sentenced yourself to the sidelines. out of sight, out of mind, out of trouble.
soonyoung didn't seem to care that he was in his sweats. no doubt he sweet-talked the bouncer into letting him in to find you quickly and leave, because he'd already taken your hand the moment he made his way to you. he guided you out of the place, waved to the guy, and made off with your hand in his.
"i don't like these friends," he said outright once you were far away enough and your hearing was starting to return. your head still felt slightly fuzzy from it all. "why do you let them treat you like this?"
you'd been friends with this group since college. they went out clubbing then, too, but they had never pressured you to go with them then--and they still made an effort to do fun things they liked that you also liked. when did that start changing? you counted back the time. longer than six months ago? a year? what changed--
you looked at soonyoung. oh. that's what changed. soonyoung came into your life and gave you a safe place to be yourself. and around then, that's when your friends had begun making comments about how you were always so 'safe' and too timid for things. pushing boundaries was good, right?
soonyoung took your hands in his. "you shouldn't let them force you into this so often," he said, voice gentle. "i know it's hard for you to say no, but... you look miserable still."
you shook your head. not tonight. please not tonight. and soonyoung nodded in kind, squeezing your hands.
"my housemates are home watching movies," he said. "we can make more popcorn! i washed your spare clothes so you can get all comfy," he beamed at you. "but if you don't want to hang out with them, we can watch something in my room instead. is that better?"
you liked soonyoung's housemates. you shook your head. "can i sit between you and jun?"
he giggled, kissing you gently. "as long as you don't mind him cuddling with you, too."
with soonyoung around... you were more okay with anything.
jeon wonwoo
you had never believed in soulmates before, but if you had to pick one... you were pretty sure wonwoo was it. the two of you had met through a mutual friend (one kim mingyu, who was your loud, loud neighbor at one point--but also the guy who brought over food when you were sick and took care of you when you had no one else to help you), who had turned to you and said he knew someone perfect for you. the two of you met in a bookstore for your date, and the rest was history. wonwoo put you at ease faster than anyone had ever done before, and you were sure that it was because the two of you were alike.
case in point: it was saturday night, and wonwoo was spending it with you. "with" being used loosely: he wasn't talking to you, mostly muttering under his breath to himself, nor were you doing something together. he was curled up on the couch, playing a video game by himself, while you were happily doing a jigsaw puzzle today. saturday was cozy days in this apartment. fridays were when the two of you ventured out. sometimes you went out for dinner, or went to the movies, or went to a mall just to explore for hours. sometimes you were joined by friends, other times it was just the two of you. but that's how things were with you and wonwoo: the weekdays after work could be spend doing whatever the two of you wanted to do. the weekends were for relaxing at home, save for the occasional party (usually birthdays, but you made your fair share of appearances outside of those) the two of you made plans around.
being with wonwoo was easy. his introverted nature seemed to go hand in hand with your shyness. he was okay with speaking for you when you were particularly nervous with people, and he was equally fine holding your hand when you felt okay enough to speak up. he never judged you. being with wonwoo was safe. the most he ever did were the gentle chuckles that sounded from him when he was admiring you, finding tiny bits of your behavior particularly endearing.
"wonwoo?" you called out. he pulled off one set of his headphones, peering back at you for you to continue. "i love you."
his gaze softened. "i love you, too." he didn't turn away yet, though. "are you thinking about something?"
he always seemed to read you easily (you were his favorite book, in his humble opinion). you averted your gaze, already feeling the heat flood into your cheeks. being with wonwoo was easy, yes, but your shyness always seemed to take hold when it came to your feelings past those three words. "i just..." you fiddled with your fingers. "i was thinking about you. and... you're always really kind to me, you know? i don't have to, y'know, worry about messing up with you. i can... i can just be me, timidness and all."
wonwoo just seemed to admire you now, the softest smile on his face. "right... because you accept me as i am. i like this," he gestured a little to the room in general. "we don't have to go out all the time and do things. it's like..." he trailed off for a moment. "you're going to make fun of me."
you waved a hand, "no, no, just say it. i won't, i promise."
"we're cats." he paused when he heard you snort a little in response, but continued. "you've seen them before. some cats just laze around each other, and that's enough because they're spending that time together. we don't have to be doing the same thing... but just knowing we can spend this time together shows me that we love each other." he paused again, waving a hand, "not that i don't love doing things with you! it's just nice to know that we fit together."
"like a puzzle," you said absentmindedly. it earned a soft chuckle from wonwoo in kind.
"yes." he set aside his controller, making his way to you. "like a puzzle." he pulled out the chair across from you. he'd reached out, picking up a piece. "may i?"
"you may," you giggled, watching him carefully put it into place. "wonwoo?" you reached forward, brushing his hair from his eyes. "you're my favorite puzzle piece."
he chuckled warmly, cupping your cheek for a moment. "you're mine, too."
lee jihoon
the relationship you had with jihoon was maybe one of the slower ones anyone had seen. it wasn't for lack of attraction at all--anyone who spoke to you or jihoon knew that the two of you had fallen for each other. but for the longest time, both of you grew flustered when it came to skinship in public. the most either of you could handle was holding hands through busy crowds. the moment one of his friends noticed and called attention to it? you separated. it was why soonyoung, seungcheol, and vernon became jihoon's defense squad: if someone noticed that jihoon was holding your hand or arm or anything... one of the three were there to keep them from commenting on it.
and their jobs were harder now that jihoon had brought you on a trip with them all. he wanted you there, you needed a break from work after saving so much vacation time, and having a group of friends present made things a tad easier and also harder. easier because you didn't have to worry about things being awkward with you and jihoon, and harder because holy fuck, jihoon had a lot of friends. you'd ended up attached to vernon out of all of them. something about the guy's laid back nature put you the most at ease (wonwoo was right next on that list, though).
"hey, um..." you had tugged on his sleeve to get his attention, always so careful of other people's boundaries. "i know what you're doing."
jihoon had looked up from his phone, eyes flickering from you to vernon. "huh?" he paused, voice soft, "has he been bothering you--"
"no! nonono--" you waved a hand. "no. um. jihoon. you brought it up last night."
vernon looked between the two of you. "what?"
"you tell the others to knock it off anytime they see us touch at all," jihoon said outright. he was good at that when you were starting to shy away from things. "it's not a big deal. we're adults."
truth be told, it was usually mingyu who brought it up. but the others gave their fair share of loving teasing toward jihoon when they noticed the way he held tightly onto your hand at times, or the loving way he gazed at you. they always took glee in watching his face turn redder and redder. but you... you had always been a different case. jihoon could handle the teasing: he wouldn't stand it for you, even if he knew it was coming as a symbol of their acceptance toward you. you needed to say if it was alright first, not them.
"i just..." you were getting flustered over it. "i appreciate it. i like you guys a lot, but it gets kinda embarrassing when someone like jeonghan teases us like we're teenagers on a first date."
"they're shy," jihoon ran his thumb along the back of your hand. "not a kid."
vernon looked between the two of you, and something clicked. there was this understanding between the two of you that no one else had quite understood yet. all of them knew how jihoon was when it came to skinship: he didn't want to be treated like a child. and you, with your shyness, could be seen in a similar light. maybe that was why the two of you clicked so well. something about yourselves could be misconstrued and used to speak down to you, and both of you recognized that in each other and respected the other's wishes.
"yeah! yeah, i get it," he nodded. "i'm glad you guys have each other."
you averted your gaze, lips forming a subtle smile. "thanks," you said, voice quieter than before.
the two of you separated from vernon after a little more conversation, and he watched as jihoon flexed his fingers before clutching your hand in his own. and when no one was looking, he leaned in, whispering something into your ear before kissing the skin right in front of it.
the two of you were happy. and that was all that mattered to any of them.
lee seokmin
seokmin knew that, as well as you could mesh into social situations now, there was one thing that made you more nervous than anything. and that was when pictures were being taken.
he had his fair share of candids of you saved in his phone for his eyes only (or, well, his eyes and anyone who caught a glance at his home screen--his lockscreen would always be a picture of the two of you). pictures with or taken by seokmin were in this different realm of 'safe,' according to you. hell, pictures taken by you were safe, too. but he'd seen the way you tried to duck out of pictures constantly, always uncomfortable when they came up in mandatory situations.
so when he saw the wedding photographer's assistant making his rounds to grab pictures of the guests during the reception... his hand tightened a little around yours. he leaned in, lips grazing your ear for a moment, "just stay close to me and i'll block what i can, if you want."
you had been confused at first, only to spot the guy a moment later. you glanced down at yourself, brows drawing together. being a distant face in the wedding video during the ceremony had already been a little nerve-wracking, but photos of you... you looked at seokmin, a deer in the headlights. "i..."
you told him once that you didn't like pictures of yourself because you felt out of place in them. it all came from a lack of confidence that you managed to find when you were in control, or when you were seeing yourself through seokmin's lens. he clutched your hand tight, guiding you away from where you'd been sitting together, watching others dance.
"seokmin, wait," you tugged him to a stop as he guided you toward a side door. "you don't have to. i can go by myself--"
he shook his head. "he got pictures of me when i was dancing with minghao earlier," he said. "we can go outside for a minute, okay? you can't avoid all pictures tonight, but..."
you already knew that: hence why you were avoiding these. you were already tired, clothing a little less neat compared to this morning, and all you could think about was how thankful you were for seokmin. you squeezed his hand. "okay," you said softly. "then... lead the way."
(and if mingyu snapped a picture from a window of the two of you walking outside... then you were okay with it. just this once.)
kim mingyu
if there was one thing you were thankful for, it was that mingyu talked about you constantly. you weren't exactly the most outgoing person, always a little too nervous when it came to people you didn't know... and with a silly, loving boyfriend who also happens to be incredibly handsome, some people were all too eager to flirt wih him. as much as it made you a little insecure (and a lot more jealous, to be honest), you trusted mingyu wholeheartedly. mainly because you'd seen the way he reacted when people started flirting.
"i'm married," was his go-to now. neither of you were married (mingyu said he was fine marrying you as much as he was fine not doing it: he was committed to you, period, and didn't need papers to say that if you didn't want them), but the rings you wore were wedding band-adjacent. you had wanted a pair that looked simpler because your work could dirty your hands sometimes (thus you wanted something easy to clean), and mingyu liked the sleek look of these compared to the others.
sometimes you swore he took a little too much joy out of flashing his "wedding band" at people. he told you once that it was because people always backtrack so hard, it's a little amusing.
except when you were standing right next to him. that was when mingyu pulled you into his arms, giggling like a dummy (your dummy, always) as he showed off his ring. "we're married, actually," he would say. "aren't they cute?" he giggled. "they're still so shy after all this time..."
the person had wandered off, face burning with embarrassment, but seungcheol rolled his eyes from where he was boxing up your chocolates. "for how long?"
mingyu smiled, arms still securely around you. "ah... does the time really matter?" he swayed a little, dragging you along with the motion. "we're together for life. that's all that matters now--"
"you suck at lying." seungcheol smiled a little when that earned a snort from you.
mingyu just hugged you tighter. "someone has to do it!" he nuzzled your head. "and i like doing it. did you see their face when i said we were married? it's cute."
seungcheol rolled his eyes. "so i've heard."
"are you saying they aren't cute?" mingyu's voice became more serious now. would he be pouting if you turned to look at his face? you weren't sure, but with mingyu... you felt like it might be a safe bet. "they're right here. don't be mean to them."
"if i called them cute, then i'd never hear the end of it from you."
something about the way they continued to bicker like brothers finally earned a laugh from you, hands holding securely onto mingyu's arms. it stopped him there, and he immediately dove around you to kiss your cheek.
"see?" mingyu said. "they're cute. shyness and all."
xu minghao
"cute."
you looked up from your book, curled up on one end of your couch. minghao was smiling at you, head propped up by his hand as he leaned against the back of the couch. you knew this smile too well now: something inside that cute head of his had stirred awake and decided now was the time to tease you. you'd seen stoic, serious minghao plenty of times, alongside the wittier, snarky version of your boyfriend you had fallen for after he made one snappy comment back at one of his friends... but playful, silly minghao would always be your favorite flavor of him. except for when 'silly, playful' meant complimenting you. minghao knew compliments were your weakness in life.
"hm?" you sounded, hoping that maybe you heard him wrong. "did you say something."
"you heard me." that same smile greeted you now. "you're cute."
shit. shit. this was already a losing battle as you shrink down against the couch, the hood of your hoodie being dragged up. "hao... don't."
"hm?" he reached out, pushing your book out of the way--just enough that he could see your face. "don't what? tell the truth? you know i think you're cute, why shouldn't i say it?"
"it's embarrassing." you looked away.
"we're the only ones here, my love." your heart rate spiked for a moment: not the 'my love'. he knew what those words did to you. your ears were burning now, and you continued to hide yourself in your hoodie.
"still..." you already knew he had won this, whatever it was. you shoved your bookmark into your book, setting it aside as you continued to hide, tugging at the drawstring from your hood to close it around you. your voice grew higher as you finally confessed, "you're cuter."
"we're not talking about me right now," he had begun to move in. "you're just proving me right, you know. you're cute." he nudged your knees aside as he propped himself up over you.
this man was going to be the death of you.
he tugged the hood away from your face, string coming loose with ease. "see?" he poked the tip of your nose. "cute. it's a fact."
all too easily, you gave in when he wrapped his arms around you, tugging you so that you could be closer to you. he folded himself around you, burying his face in your neck as he breathed out a happy sigh.
"is something up?" you asked quietly. "i mean--i don't, up, i don't mind the sappy stuff. just..."
"i'm fine," he pecked your neck, nose grazing against the underside of your jaw. "just needed to love you louder today." he paused, raising his gaze to meet yours as he leaned around you. "is that okay?"
with a sigh, you settled into his arms. "yeah," you mumbled. "always okay. thank you for asking."
boo seungkwan
this was mortifying. what if you died right here? would that be better than witnessing this? chan had an arm around you while vernon was trying to pull seungkwan back. you just wanted one nice night with your boyfriend and his friends, and now seungkwan was very loudly arguing with someone who had said something not-so-nice about you relying on him so much. you were fine when it was just the four of you, but seungkwan knew you. he knew you struggled with being heard: hence why he reiterated your request on your behalf.
"they're my partner and i'm not going to let you speak about them like that!" he balled his fists. "just because they won't complain doesn't mean you can insult them to their face!"
"seungkwan," vernon pulled his arm harder. "dude. we're gonna get kicked out."
"fine!" he said, looking back at vernon. "i don't care! he was rude to them and made fun of them--they don't get to insult anyone i love like that!"
"seungkwan," you called out, finally getting his attention. you shook your head. "it's okay. let's just go."
he stole one last glance at the asshole he'd been yelling at, before taking a breath. seungkwan pulled away from vernon, making his way over to you as he took your hand. the four of you left, heading back outside as seungkwan immediately rounded to face you once you were far enough away from the place. he waved for the other two to go on--he just needed to speak to you alone. seungkwan took your hands, squeezing them gently.
"are you okay? did i ruin our night?" he frowned, pausing as he tugged at your sleeve to fix it back into place. "i would have let it go if he didn't make fun of you."
"it's okay," you said. "i'm sorry you always have to do this for me."
he blinked. "hm?" he looked back. "that place was busy. vernon didn't hear you, so i made sure your request got across." he paused, realization hitting him. "not that it matters now..."
"you guys can go back without me," you said, pulling your hands free. "i'm gonna go home."
"but--" he stepped forward. "you don't have to. we can go somewhere else." he paused for a moment. "i'm sorry i started yelling at him. i..." he took a deep breath. "i love you, and i don't care that you get shy or nervous or whatever you want to call it. i'm happy to talk for both of us if that's what you need me to do." he paused. "do you really want to go home?"
you nodded. "a little."
"then i'll go with you," he took your hand. "we'll come back out another night."
you squeezed his hand. "seungkwan?" you interlaced your fingers with his. "thanks for having my back."
"thank you for having mine," he pecked your cheek. "i'll always be here."
chwe vernon
the moment you turned the corner, vernon immediately straightened up, all signs of 'illness' seeming to disappear entirely. it made you slow to a stop, hand leaving his as you stare at him. was... was that why he was so insistent on not taking a cab home? he'd said the night air might help if you walked a little, but...
"alright. where to?" he turned, phone already in hand. "there's that dessert place you like. wait, did you eat? we could grab something else instead--"
"i thought you were sick." you sounded dumbfounded, and vernon blinked.
"you wanted to get out of there." a true fact, but you hadn't said it to vernon yet. "oh, dude. you get this look on your face." he made his way over to you. "like... you looked miserable. so i figured i'd take one for the team and pretend i'm sick so you wouldn't have to come up with an excuse again."
your cats could only get sick so many times without people wondering if something was wrong with them, after all.
you frowned. "you didn't have to do that."
"i kinda did." he took your hands. "like... i saw the look on your face. the 'please stop asking me about work, and my relationship, and my life, i'm going to pass out' face. remember that work thing you took me to? you did that face there, too."
maybe you loved this man more than anything.
"so... where do you wanna go? we could go back to my place. i've got popcorn, we could steal seungcheol's netflix account again, watch something dumb."
it earned a giggle from you. "he knows, right?"
"you haven't seen the new profile he made last week." he pulled you back with him, letting you follow his steps, "named it freeloaders. we're not the only ones using it, y'know."
you giggled again. between vernon, mingyu, and wonwoo... you weren't surprised seungcheol knew the netflix account was getting used by more than just him. they shared accounts, after all. he was using vernon's disney plus account often enough, mainly to get to hulu.
"just say the word if you ever want me to make up something, by the way," he squeezed your hand. "i know you get bad with people sometimes. let me handle it, alright?"
at least you had vernon in your life to make it all easer.
lee chan
chan chuckled. "it's okay," he said as he felt you bury your face in his neck. "i don't think he'll think anything of it."
chan was beyond used to seeing you flustered over the silliest little things. while he replayed his own slip-ups later on, you wore your emotions plain on your face after finishing a phone call with your close friend (and the guy who introduced you to chan), seungcheol. you'd slipped up and said an innocent 'love you!' to him, something chan always saw coming considering you'd long-since confessed that he felt like family to you. he saw the regret on your face for saying it so casually to a friend when it took you forever to say it to chan, and now he was fighting back the urge to laugh as you whined.
"he's never gonna let me live it down."
chan patted your back gently, chuckling a little now. seungcheol definitely wouldn't let it go--at least not to chan. "you're close friends! friends can say they love each other."
"i know, but..." you squeezed your eyes shut. "it's embarrassing. he didn't even say anything back and--and you know how cheol is."
that he did. chan heard your phone chime, and reached for it to steal a quick look... only to see seungcheol had texted you back: CALL ME BACK >:(
"baby?" he held up your phone, waving it in front of your face. "he's waiting."
"nooooooo," you whined again. "he's gonna make fun of me."
your phone began to ring. chan didn't hesitate to answer it, putting seungcheol on speaker. "they're dying, cheol."
"they didn't let me say it back!"
you buried your face further into chan's neck. of course seungcheol took it in stride--and of course his real problem was that you didn't give him the chance to say it back. chan let out a snort, hand curling around the back of your head as he gave it a quick pat.
"you're killing them still. you know how they get with affection."
you knew seungcheol was rolling his eyes with that annoyed sigh he let out. "they're like family. i wasn't going to be mad until they hung up on me before i could say it."
the affection truly was killing you. chan had seen you bury your face in his neck before, always too embarrassed to just accept the sweet words of anyone--especially himself. he called you one night to drunkenly ramble about his affections for you, and immediately apologized when you broke your favorite mug while you were mentally malfunctioning. even now, he felt the way you grabbed at his shirt, face burning hot with embarrassment. this was the reason why he could never arrange a surprise party for you: you might pass out if so many people broadcast their love for you at once.
"so?" seungcheol said, and you could hear someone laughing in the background. mingyu for sure, and someone else. "ignore them."
"love you, cheol," you mumbled. "sorry i hung up earlier."
your apology was met with a warm chuckle. "it's okay. let me know when you're coming over for dinner again," he said, and then paused for a second, "bring your boyfriend, too."
chan gasped in mock offense, as though he hadn't been sitting there the entire time. he hung up the call, and immediately wrapped his arms around you. "you love me more, right?" he teased, just to see that cute pout on your face. he'll kiss it soon, too.
you averted your gaze, face burning hot now. first cheol, now chan? "you know i do."
"say it." he poked your side, just to watch you squirm. "or else."
you could feel the way his fingers were starting to tickle your sides. "chan!"
all too easily, he'd made you forget about your nervous blunder as he dove forward to kiss you amidst your giggles. "say it!"
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny
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satorusugurugurl · 4 months ago
Note
MORE SATOSUGU X READER PLEASEEE IM OBSESSED W UR WORKS ON THEM <3
-🦢
Shots
Summary: Gojo refused to buy you a drink because he didn't want to take care of yourself while you're drunk, there is a certain dark-haired man that's willing to take care of you in multiple ways.
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x AFAB!Reader x Geto Suguru
Warnings: alcohol consumption, fingering, smut, language, unprotected, creampies, spicy dirty dancing
Word Count: 3,509
A/N: Your wish is my command Nonnie! ✨ (I'm working on one where the boys take care of a wasted reader its so cute 🥹)
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The music was blaring, and lights flashed, illuminating the faces of strangers and people Gojo knew. He sighed, leaning against the wall, his dark, round sunglasses reflecting the multicolored lights as he watched you dancing in the center of the floor. The skin-tight black dress you wore hugged your beautiful body's curves. You were losing yourself in the music, eyes shut as you held your hands above your head, shaking your hips to the beat.
He would love to be out there with you, but you were slightly (definitely) irritated with him. All because he wouldn't let you order another shot, a shot that would turn your lovely buzz into a drunken night, that would involve you crying over otters, begging for chicken nuggets, and most likely end with him holding your hair and rubbing your back while you threw up.
So yeah, was he being a little selfish? Yes. But there was only so much he would learn about otters.
If Suguru were here, it would be a different story. Suguru was a pro at handling you when you were tipsy. He’d pull up otter videos for you to watch, feed you nuggets, and by some miracle, you never threw up with him! Then he would have gladly bought you that shot you were longing for.
But Suguru was on a mission and wouldn’t be home until tomorrow, so you’d have to be angry with him.
While grumbling and pouting, he never noticed the tall figure making their way across the dance floor to you. You swayed your hips, humming happily as the bass vibrated through you; the only thing that would make this better would be the extra shot you’d so prettily begged for. But Satoru was too inexperienced to handle drunk people to cave in. You could have bought yourself your drink, but he insisted you leave your wallet at home, a mistake you’d never make again.
In your attempts not to sulk, you never noticed the stranger behind you until two large hands found their way home on your hips. Your eyes focused on Gojo, still across the club, arms crossed over his chest as he pouted. So, the person holding you was not your boyfriend.
Your fight or flight kicked in, and you were a second away from whirling around to smack them when the unmistakable smell of earthy musk and mint flooded your senses. All the anger melted as the hands gripping your hips squeezed you, massaging the flesh before their hips pressed flush against the fat of your ass. A soft moan passed through your slightly parted lips as you rocked back against him.
“Damn, Princess, you got such a beautiful body.” His smooth voice whispered against your ear. “Your boyfriend sure is lucky.”
“Mhmm, yeah~ they are.”
The man chuckled, rolling his hips harder against you, causing warmth to flood between your legs. “They certainly are.” Those lips that so deliciously teased your ear moved further down, trailing over your neck as his strong hand squeezed your hips tighter. “Would you mind if I danced with you, took you home, and destroyed your pretty pussy as if I hadn’t seen you in two weeks?” those familiar hands slowly began trailing lower towards the hem of your dress, and with each inch, they ventured further down, the more sensitive skin became. So what do you say, princess? That pet name was the last place you needed
“Buy me a shot, and I’ll let you have your way with me.”
At this point, Gojo looked away, taking a second to check his phone, but within that second, you managed to slip away back to the bar. When your boyfriend looked up, finding you missing from the dance floor, he felt panic swell in his chest as his eyes frantically searched for you. You weren’t on the dance floor, so that had to mean you were either stumbling in search of the bathroom or adding that extra shot to his open tab
But out of those options, only one sounded like something a buzzed and slightly pissed off you would do.
Bolted through the crowd, clenching his teeth so hard as he hurried for the bar. Just as he pushed past a rowdy group of drunk girls, he saw the back of your head being thrown back as you took a shot, followed by another, and just to make matters worse; he watched a hand that didn’t belong to him wrapping around your waist, pulling you towards tall figure
His protective instinct kicked in; someone was using the fact that you were buzzed to touch you. Gojo hoped this stranger had no regrets because he was seconds away from committing a felony. Thanks to his long legs, he closed the distance between you and a couple of steps, his hands gripping the stranger's, pulling it promptly off your hip.
“I’m going to assume you like having a hand, and if you want to keep this hand, I’d suggest getting the fuck off my girlfriend.”
“Satoru,” the voice purred, “Last time I checked, she’s my girlfriend, too.”
“Suguru?!”
Now that Gojo was closer and the lights weren't flashing as much, he could make out his best friend's face. Suguru looked down at him, eyeing his best friend before a snarky smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. The shock on Gojo’s face was comical, leaving you giggling as you hugged Suguru’s arm. Those dark eyes never left Gojo’s cerulean blue; a dark-haired man lifted a third shot glass off the counter.
“I thought you said you would care for our Princess while I was gone.”
“I have been taking care of her.”
You shook your head with a pout, hugging Suguru tighter. “He wouldn't buy me another shot!” the dark-haired man’s face contorted with confusion and shock.
“Satoru, I clearly remember you telling her you would give her anything she wanted.”
Gojo ran a hand down his face. “Suguru, you know I have no experience taking care of drunk people!” he eyed you, seeing the glassy look in your eyes as Sugueu pulled you tighter against him. “I was trying to keep her buzzed.”
“Sounds like a lot of excuses to me.”
“Ya’ know what stop with the attitude.” Satoru sighed, watching Suguru chuckle. “Oh yeah, laugh it up! Because I'm not going to be the one taking care of her drunk ass tonight! That's all on you!”
Hearing those words left Suguru slightly stunned as he stared at the dark lenses of Satoru’s glasses. While he couldn't see the frustration in his eyes, he could read it in his body language—from the way he tapped his foot aggressively on the floor to how he crossed his arms over his chest. It was abundantly clear that Gojo did not look forward to having to take care of you when you were tipsy.
Something Suguru was going to make sure he regretted.
“So you aren't going to help me take care of her?”
“Nope! This is all on you since you want to get her wasted, giving her shot after shot.”
“You sure about that?”
“Posi-fuckin-lutely!”
Suguru hummed and grabbed your face with one hand, his fingers gently squeezing you, forcing you to look up. “Hear, that Princess?” Your lips slightly parted as he brought the glass full of clear liquid to your mouth. The cold glass chilled your heated skin. As Suguru licked his lips, his eyes darkened with lust, as did the look on your face. “You’re all mine tonight.” In a swift movement, Suguru tilted your head back, pouring the glass contents into your mouth, and you quickly swallowed.
With the contents of the glass down your throat, Suguru pulled the glass away and smirked, turning his attention towards Satoru while his angry demeanor seemed to have melted away. You relished in the way the white eyebrows knitted together at the nearly erotic sight of Suguru helping you with the shot and the words his best friend had said. Gojo was suddenly beginning to wonder what Suguru had planned for your drunken state, but the mischievous look as he gently patted your cheek and offered you another drink made his pats feel a bit too tight.
Which was a ridiculous reaction! You were intoxicated, and the two meant would most likely be dragging you out here soon. But much to his surprise, when your feet finally started to ache, you were coherent and fine, walking out holding Suguru’s hand. Hell, your eyes were met nearly as glass when you all loaded into Satoru’s car, and he started driving. There was no conversing of otters, tears, or pleads for him to pull over so you could throw up.
Nope, it was nothing like that of the sorts.
Instead, soft moans and sharp breath intakes resonated from the back seat. That’s when he realized he might have made a colossal mistake. That thought became a reality when you three returned to the house, where Suguru had you over his shoulder, dragging you to the bedroom, and the second Gojo locked the front door.
“Hey!” He shouted, kicking his shoes off and rushing after you both to the bedroom. “Wait for me!”
“Sorry T-Toru!” You cried out as Suguru threw you on the bed, climbing over you. “You said you weren’t going to take care of me, remember~?”
“Y-Yeah, drunk you!”
Suguru hummed, looking over at Gojo, who stood in the doorway; his jaw dropped as he watched clothes being degraded and hands fisting in hair. “Oooh~ yeah~ she’s buzzed, but I wasn’t getting her drunk. Someone just assumed that I was doing that.” When your tits bounced free, and Suguru undid the button to his jeans, pushing them down far enough to free his aching cock, Satoru just stared at you both completely flabbergasted.
“B-But I was watching you force her to take more shots!”
“Of water.”
“Huh?”
“I was giving her shots of water.”
Your legs were forced apart, and Satoru watched as Suguru’s fingers hooked under your thong, pulling the flimsy fabric to the side. “Water?” He asked, too stunned to honestly believe he was telling the truth. “You were making her take shots of water?” A wet, squelching sound flooded the room as your back arched off the bed with a soft gasp.
“Of course, it was water.” Suguru held one hand between your thighs, fingering you as the other came down next to your head, caging you underneath him as Gojo watched his best friend roll his finger fuck you. “Why do you think I have such an easy time taking cause of her when she’s been drinking? I always make sure she stays hydrated.”
“T-That’s not fair!”
“Not my fault you didn’t ask what she was drinking or what we were doing,” Suguru said nonchalantly as he pulled his fingers out, replacing them with his cock.
“Ahh!!”
“O-Oh fuck—” Satoru lost his concentration for a second before shaking his head. “Still not fair. You could have been honest with me!”
Your nails dug into Suguru’s back as you bucked your hips up against him. “Mhmm—fuck Suguru!” You cried out as he set a slow pace, his hand gripping your sides, slowly fucking into you, making the most of the time he’d been away.
Gojo pouted like a spoiled child making his way to the recliner facing the bed, his fist resting on his chin as he watched Geto slowly fucking you into the mattress. He could have gone about things differently this evening, but there was something kind of sexy about watching you both fuck while he sat off to the side. He didn’t need to put in a lot of effort; he was just way there, watching his best friend fuck you roughly as he stroked his cock through his pants.
God, it was so sexy watching you moan, how your legs shook as Suguru lazily fucked you into the mattress. It was erotic, toe-curling, and it made his hand grope his cock firmly through his pants. Watching you stare into Suguru’s dark eyes with pure lust was intoxicating, and the way Suguru stared back at you left his head spinning. Satoru loved being between you and involved in making you feel good.
But this was something different, something new, and Satoru liked it.
“S-Sugu~! You cried out as he grabbed both your legs, placing them over his shoulders as he fucked you like a flashlight. “Ah!! Fuck! Fuuuck!”
“Yeah~ does that feel good, Princess~?” He snarled dark iris’ focusing on Satoru, who had his pants tugged down, his cock throbbing as he jerked himself off. “Don’t tell me Satoru was neglecting you, sweet girl.”
Satoru watched as your dress was completely tugged off, along with Suguru’s shirt, his hand moving up and down his shaft faster. “I t-took good care of her—nngh.” Suguru scoffed, the muscles in his ass clenching as he pulled out of you before shoving his entire length back in.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, it is.”
Your gasp drew both men’s attention back to you. Your eyes were rolling back with each deep thrust. "O-Oh fuck—Suguru!”
"That's right," Suguru growled out, pressing kisses along your bare breasts. “moan out my name." He smiled up at Gojo before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. "Mhmm, fuck, you taste so sweet, Princess.”
“Ooh god,” Gojo watched as your eyes fluttered while Suguru reached down, rubbing teasing circles around your clit. Satoru knew he could please and satisfy your needs, but your body language told him you longed for Suguru. "O-Oh, fuck god, I missed your cock so bad!”
Satoru knew you loved them equally, even though he knew it wouldn’t stop him from teasing you. “Well shit—“ he moaned out, stroking his cock faster. “Way to make a guy feel like Chopliver.” He said with faux sorrow, causing your eyes to dart in his direction.
“Toru—” you whimpered, biting your lip as tears prick your eyes. "Toru honey, I-I'm sorry, I-didn’t m-mea—fuuuuck!" Your head rolled back, your eyes leaving Satoru’s.
"Such a slut for Suguru; you can’t even look at me," Satoru said while twisting his wrist along the base of his cock. "Come on, Suguru, you gotta make up for missed time, and I’m not in there with you two. Come on fuck her harder, fuck her to the point the bed almost breaks."
"Satoru—come on now."
"It wasn't a fuckin question, Suguru. I’m being serious." Satoru stroked his cock faster, growling. "If she wants to be fucked by you so bad, fuck her into next week."
For the first time all evening, Suguru looked slightly flustered. He hadn’t anticipated Satoru to get so into watching you both. If anything, he thought he’d be bitching and crying about wanting to join in within the first two minutes. But he had surprised you both as he happily leaned back in his chair, jerking off and enjoying the show. And if it was a show he wanted, it was a show he would get. Suguru took a deep breath before he slammed into you, sending your back arching off the mattress with a gasp.
“There we go~ haaah, much better!” Your head lolled to the side, eyes focusing on Satoru as he stroked his leaking cock. “Hey, pretty girl, like what you see?”
“Yeah~ your cock is so pretty, Toru, I-I nngh I wa—aah!”
Suguru grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Princess, remember he didn’t want to care for you?" Suguru asked, kissing you softly. "I'm the one fucking you right now. Not Satoru but me." he snarled against your ear.
"Awww is someone doubting their skills?" There was a cocky tone to his voice as he looked at you. "You can look at me; don’t let Suguru tell you what to do.”
He held to cock in his hand, slowly stroking it as Suguru glared back. "Sure, you can look, but don’t forget who's making you feel good.” Satoru watched as his best friend shoved two fingers in your mouth. "So focus on me, good girl." Hearing Suguru talk like that had Suguru stroking his cock faster with a groan.
“M-mmmhm!” You gasped as Geto shoved his fingers into her mouth. You moaned, your tongue twirled around his fingers, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. You looked drunk off pleasure, and it was a look both Satoru and Suguru found themselves lost in.
"God, look at her. Seriously sucking my fingers down like a slut." Suguru whispered as he promptly pulled them out of your mouth with a pop. "She’s such a good girl, isn’t she, Satoru?” He continued thrusting in and out of you, using his saliva-slick fingers to rub circles around your nipples.
"Fuck yeah, she is; you gonna make her cum hard?” Gojo said, watching as Suguru’s thrusts became harder and deeper, his hips moving faster and faster, slamming against your g-spot with every thrust.
"Yeah," Suguru whispered against your lips. "I’m going to make her squirt harder than you." He ran his fingers that were teasing your breasts up to your throat, wrapping his hand around your neck.
"Oh, you wish!”
"Such a good girl; scream my name when you soak the sheets, okay.” Suguru purred in your ear, his eyes with the lust coursing through his veins.
Satoru watched, eyes focused on you as you arched your back off the bed as you came. You squirted hard, doing exactly what Suguru told you to do. “Suguru!!” You screamed out, eyes rolling back as you soaked Suguru, your walls clamping down on him as he froze above you, hands gripping the sheets, holding them tight as he came with you flooding your insides full of cum.
Watching both his partners freeze up, losing yourselves in orgasmic bliss, that sight in itself was more than enough to send Satoru over the edge with you both. He squeezed his shaft as he threw his head back, ropes of cum coating his chest as he watched you and Suguru exchange a deep passionate kiss. It made him smile lazily as he slumped back against the recliner, shutting his eyes.
You broke the kiss with Suguru, panting heavily as you glanced at Satoru, who was relaxing against the chair. He looked flushed and peaceful, a little too peaceful for your liking. You smirked as you turned Suguru’s head towards the side.
“Satoru~” you purred, drawing the attention of his cerulean gaze towards you. “I’ve decided you might not want to take care of me, but I want to take care of you.”
Satoru swallowed hard, sitting up with a grin. “Ooh, you’re going to take care of me?” Geto eyed you skeptically for a second before he saw that glimmer in your eyes, a glimmer with the promos of mischief.
“Hmm, I wouldn’t say take care of is the right phrase—maybe play with you is a better term.”
“Play with me in a sexy way, right?” Silence. “R-Right?”
Suguru slowly pulled out of you and sat back, patting the bed. “Come on, Satoru~ join us on the bed.” Gojo swallowed hard, not like the way things were playing out.
“I-I uhm, I think I’m okay right here.”
“Oh, don’t be like that! Come on, join in the fun. I’m not going to bite you.”
Reluctantly, Satoru stood up and walked towards the bed. When he pressed his knees into the mattress, he realized joining the two of you had been a mistake. He didn’t have his infinity up, giving you the chance to pull him onto before rolling so he was beneath you. Gojo just stared up at you as you began moving your hips teasingly over his cock.
“I may not be biting you tonight, but I am going to milk you until you cry.”
Geto shifted himself behind you, grinding his cock over your ass while resting his chin on your shoulder to look down at Satoru. “I, however, made no such promise about not biting.” He grinned, running his tongue over his teeth.
Gojo swallowed hard as you pinned his arms above his head. He wasn’t sure what was worse—taking care of you drunk when you cutely cried over otters. Or having both his partners making him cum so many times he thought he was going to die. He should have just bought you that shot.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @luvsymai
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quantum1mmortality · 1 month ago
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Im so glad you're writing for Curly bc I'm so obsessed with him rn!! May I suggest (if you haven't done them already) some soft/fluffy post burn hcs? Like finally seing him again after a long drive to the hospital, mentally preparing yourself for what he might look like. Curly being so afraid about how you'd react, and just breaking down when you let out an "oh, Curly :(" and softly place a hand on his cheek, so worried that you might hurt him by accident that it's hardly even a touch at all. Curly leaning his cheek into your palm, having been so scared to see you and now so desperate for your touch.
Life returning to a new normal after a while, prosthetics and PT, skin grafts, so on. Lying in bed with him and being so relived and happy when he gets a spark of mischief like he used to and tries to tickle or play wrestle with you. Him quietly asking questions when the laughter dies down. if you missed his lips, or the blond hair you loved so much that now hardly grew at all. Reassuring him that it didn't matter what he looked like, or what he could and could not do anymore. He's still your curly.
Sorry this turned out so long 😭 I can't get him out of my head!
I LOVE what you wrote 🙏🙏 I'll be going off of these, taking bits and pieces of your hcs and then putting them in here. Overall just gonna be fluffy post crash Curly hcs :)
Of topic, but the way some people in this fandom treat post crash curly makes me nauseous. Finding out that some of you wouldn't treat him like I would makes me wanna cry. Maybe I'm too empathetic or maybe I'm a baby back bitch, either way, I'd care for this man so much. Y'all don't understand how much I love him.
Tw/cw; none!! One curse word but that's literally it (I think)
Not proofread
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Extremely sensitive to touch for the first few weeks. I feel as though curly would be in incredible pain, but would try his best to keep your hands touching his cheeks, face, body in general. He'd even go as far as to whimper at how bad it hurt, yet still enduring it because he needed to know you still loved him.
He'd be so happy to see you anytime you were around. Just like pre crash, but it was more special. It got to the point where you would take off work for weeks at a time just to be with him, just so you could see him happy.
After the first two months of agonizing pain, you'd start touching him more. Not sexual, obviously, but just getting more physically affectionate. You'd be able to hug and kiss him goodbye, and hold on to his arm as you talked with him.
Speaking of talking, he wouldn't be able to, so you would talk for him. Basically telling him something, then answering any questions he may or may not have. You've known him long enough, you know how he'd react and question things, so it was practically a no brainer for you.
Now that he doesn't feel as much pain as he used to from your touches, you'd begin sleeping with him. NOT SEXUAL!!! Just cuddling up next to him in the hospital bed, laying your head on his shoulders and kissing him goodnight. Just like how you used to.
Eventually he'd start getting prosthetics, and aside from the physical therapy he's usually getting, you'd bring board games and playing cards so he could learn to use his new hands while still spending time with you.
Curly used to kick your ass in uno and honestly he still does. The trembling in his hands would slowly go away over time, and you were helping him with that much more than his physical therapist was; because at least he wanted to actually be around you.
After months and months, he'd finally be ready to take home. New prosthetics and a bunch of skin graft surgeries later, he's in good condition again. Not perfect in his eyes, but it is in yours.
He wouldn't be able to work, but Pony Express sends him checks as if he was. He gets enough from them, you could quit your job, but you don't want to be dependent on them. So you keep working.
Getting home from work is your favorite part of the day, having Curly be so happy to see you makes everything so worth it.
Your home life goes back to normal with a few exceptions, but nothing too drastic. Curly being in a wheelchair and still not being able to speak, but it's nothing you can't handle. You love him, you're willing to make sacrifices. He'd do the same for you, and you know that.
Bonus content; if you guys were married before the crash, once he got his prosthetic hands, he'd have you help him make a little beaded necklace for his ring to go on; that way he could still wear it :) he'd never take the necklace off once it's done
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A/N; I've been pretty busy recently so sorry for the delay on requests; I have a lot of ideas for them though so hopefully they'll be out soon
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idanceuntilidie · 6 months ago
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Huloo, just read Yandere cheater and it was hook line sinker for me, do you still do request? If so can you do a Yan! cheater but the reader is like one of those cold stone face to others but warm to their friends and family but especially soft towards someone they really like? (In this case the cheater). Im curious about your take 😭. Scenario would basically be the same same I guess, like Yan! Cheater jumped to conclusion and, being an idiot, decide revenge cheat is the solulu to his delulu thoughts.
(If your requests are closed, please ignore this, Id be embarrassed)
I would have finished this way earlier today, slowly back to posting I hope yall are proud of me Warning: non con touching * blood * mentions of rotting meat and killing people * yandere themes ofc
yan cheater x gn reader
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„SMILE FOR ME ALRIGHT?”
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“I like when you smile, you look really cute when you do” “Haha aren’t you a charmer?” “Listen, I am serious! Your smile is special, not many can see it bunny.” “I love you” “I love you too.” Your face doesn’t reflect on how you are feeling, unless it is someone that you actually care about. It is only natural that people can’t tell what you are feeling, and that comes with its pros and cons.
People won’t know if they hurt you. Ciaran was pretty, but underneath all of that hid a disgusting freak. Too bad you have learned that when you saw the man you love kiss someone else. You remember he kissed you with such passion not even a few hours later. You hate to admit, he looks pretty even now. Standing at your doorstep, red hair clinging to his face. Make up slightly smeared because of the water. Ciaran looked beautiful, even if messy and wet. It made your blood boil. You wanted to rip his hair out, punch him and then curl into a ball and cry your eyes out. Instead you kept leaning against the door frame, the scent of rain calming you down. You didn’t say anything to him, and he didn’t to you. He knew that you found out, and you knew his only regret right now was that he didn’t hide well enough.
The more you look at him, the more sick you feel. You waited for him to come back though, so you could spit on his face and throw him out of your apartment. You didn’t even bother with a suitcase, a trash bag fitted his personality more. “I have nothing to say to you Ciaran, take your shit and get lost.” Your voice was cold, monotonous but it made him shudder. You threw the bag into the closest puddle and finally slammed the door in his fucking face. There was something about you, Ciaran couldn’t put his finger on it. He doesn’t know why you are so attractive to him. Your eyes are cold, dead just like your expression that you wear. It’s like making eye contact with a corpse. Despite your very dead expression, you are quite attractive. Beautiful. It made his heart flutter, so it was only natural that he tried to get close to you. With time he got to see more of you, your little traits. Likes and dislikes. What you listen to, and what you eat.
The best part was when your stoic expression was replaced with a smile. He lived for those moments, but then it got boring. Can you even blame him? It all felt lukewarm. He needed that excitement back, and you couldn’t give him that. That is, he thought you couldn’t. But he was wrong. Ciaran wouldn’t admit it of course, it would hurt his pride. He was too proud, and you were just difficult and used.
He couldn’t admit that after just a week his body ached for your touch, scent. He wanted to see you smile again, hear you speak, touch you.
Every single time he tried to crawl back to you, you welcomed him with an ice cold stare and blank face. After God knows how many times he appeared in front of your house, you didn’t even bother opening the door and soon enough you moved away.
How could you? Leaving him wailing in the dirt in front of the place both of you called home. You are so cruel, didn’t you say people deserve a second chance?
Maybe he just needed to try harder.
The house breathed with you, calm and unbothered. The air felt heavy still and moist, in other words it stank in here quite badly. Slightly rotten food with the mix of your sweat made you gag. You laid still in your bed, eyes tired, achy and dry from the lack of sleep. You feel like you are going to suffocate in here. You listen to the melody of the forest surrounding your house, the gentle sway of the trees and cicadas. It’s dark, why were you up again? Your eyes start to wander around the room trying to adjust to the soft light of the moon. It’s dark, you see your furniture and that pile of clothes that looks a lot like a human now that you stare at it.
You turn on the light, it blinds you and you close your eyes and hiss in pain. When you open them again you see the same pile of dirty clothes. It looks normal, like a pile of unwashed clothes would. You thought it was.. nevermind, brain tends to imagine weird shapes when you can’t see shit. That’s what it was, you sigh as you get up. The air feels stuffy.
 If it wasn’t for the crippling anxiety you would open the window, you can’t see outside but it can see you. That makes you worry.
You dragged your heavy feet to the kitchen to grab something to eat even though there is not much you can choose from. You need to go shopping. Your stomach recoils at that thought. Ciaran just waits for you to leave. He is probably not very happy that you have ignored him as much as you did. His gifts lay unopened at your front door, slowly piling up. The sweet scent of rotting meat emitting from them. Just thinking about it makes you weak in the stomach. The kitchen is dark, after the bedroom incident you didn’t bother even turning on the light. Your poor eyes. Your shaky hands search for the least dirty cup so you can at least drink some water.
After your break up, Ciaran hasn’t left you alone. Blocking him didn’t help, the police didn’t help. He made sure you were alone, with no one to help you. Your ex successfully tracked you every single time, that's why you are stuck at home. Looking and smelling like shit. It has been a week without him trying to contact you but you aren’t sure he finally moved on. You will sneak out of the house, leave everything and just escape this madness. You will be free. There is a warm breath on your neck.
The glass shattered against the wooden floor. “Did you miss me?” he rasped out. He smelled like forest. His voice goes through your ears, making them ring. You didn’t respond, praying that your brain is imagining things. It surely is, he imagines how he nuzzles into the crook of your neck and his hands slowly wander around your body.
You feel weak in your knees, hands gripping the sink in an attempt to get some stability. Ciarans cold hands painfully dig into your stomach. You feel like you are going to puke.
Then everything stops. You turn around and you are greeted with the sight of your kitchen. No Ciaran.
You raise your shirt, no marks.
You were going crazy or the lack of sleep is really getting into you. Forget the water or food, you are going to sleep. Ciaran is not here, you are safe and you need sleep. Badly. The floorboards creak against your weight, the trip to your room. It’s like being like a kid again, and you feel like someone is chasing you so you run up to your room to turn the light on and scare the evil away. The thought of it makes you chuckle. Something feels wrong though, you look at your front door. It’s open.
Fuck the sneaking, you are ready to run to your room when someone grabs you. Their hands are sticky, warm. The metallic and sweet rotting smell fills the room. “Bunny, bunny calm down. It’s okay, I am here finally.” “Ciaran, Ciaran please…” you choke out as he squeezes your frail body. “Ahh how I missed that voice of yours.” he moaned into your ear and hugged you tighter. You want to cry, you want to throw up but you can’t give him the satisfaction of that. You can show him any basic human emotion, that’s what he wants.
 He kissed your neck, nipping at some places. Like he used to, when you two were together.
“You missed me too, right bunny? you missed my voice?” “Ciaran leave my house.” “But baby why? We are finally together again.” He let go of you. Your body ached, head pounding and all of your senses screaming to run.
“Aren’t you happy? Please bunny, smile for me like you used to.” His hands grabbed your face, fingers jamming into your mouth forcing it to open. It hurts, you can taste the blood coating his hands. He forces you to smile and you stop yourself from actually throwing up. Your thoughts are muddy, body weak. You claw at his hands but he grips you together. Nails digging into your gums, you gag. Ciaran beams at you, happy. Smiling widely, just like he used to.
“Now, was that so hard?” he hums.
You try to protest, but you are unable to speak. You are so tired, so weak. He took notice of that. Kissing your forehead.
“Oh my poor baby, you are exhausted waiting for me right? Don’t worry, I will help you.”
The last thing you remember is pain, the amazement on how strong his head is and a small thought that no matter how far you run. Your loving ex will find you.
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heeseung-min · 2 months ago
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[22:45]
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"Please, I'm begging you! Stop this! PLEASE!!!"
Your desperate begging being ignored by those people. You had lost your strength and couldn't fight with them anymore. Their hold on your hands still tight and waiting for the next instructions.
"Did you learn your lesson, baby?"
"YES YES YES I DID I DID PLEASE RIKI! PLEASE LET ME GO!"
Riki smiled while walking closer to you. He stopped when he reached one step in front of you. Your face became pale and your hair getting wet after got pushed into the water few times. However, that sight didn't stop Riki from caressing your face and left some kisses. You were holding yourself from moving away. You don't want to get punish anymore.
"My sweet baby. You are mine, Y/n. Why were you tried to run away at the first place? No one can take care of you better than me."
The hold on your hands switched from those helpers to Riki. He held your body to lean on him. The warmth from his body brings you comfort. You let him take off the clothes and bring you to a warm shower.
"No one can ever take you from me, Y/n."
__________
__________
"Y/n, we missed you. It's been a long time since you visited us. How are you sweetie?"
You were having a call with your mother. Since you both are in different countries so it's difficult to make a call because of the time difference.
"I missed you too mum. I'm doing good...."
Your heart beat slowly increasing. You felt the urge to tell her the truth about your life. About your relationship with your psychopath boyfriend. You were thinking the words to deliver the news when suddenly you felt a pair of hands sliding on your waist from behind.
"Talking with who baby? Is it your mom?"
"Oh my god, is that Riki? Give the phone to him. I miss that kid!" You smiled bitterly and leaned the phone closer to Riki so he could talk to your mother.
__________
__________
Both of you were resting on the bed. You were laying on his chest while Riki put his head on your shoulder and helped you on cutting your toenails.
"Were you trying to tell me on them, baby?"
"Huh? What....what do you mean?"
"Naughty girl. Trying to other people about us, hmm? But do you think your mother will believe on what you said?"
"I....I didn't do anything."
"Yes, you better behave or you will wake up with their heads on the stairs greeting you in the morning."
At this point, you felt helpess. No one can save you from Riki and nothing can stop him from pushing everyone out of your life.
___________
It feels so good to write something again altho it's just short story😂😂😂 Im glad if you guys enjoy this. Thank you for still sending support.
Taglist: @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount @rowretro @eeunoia @soireegurl @obsessed1with1straykids
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justmeinadaze · 3 months ago
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Nothing's Gonna Change My World (Steddie X You)(90s Universe)
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A/N: I hope you like this. It's a new style for me and I have all the ideas for this. Each chapter will be a different universe. <3
Warnings: Steddie X Fem Y/N, The universe they view the first time is a 90s esc style one with Punk Boy in a Band Steve/ Entrepreneur Eddie and Regular 90's girl Y/N. SMUT, light spanking, daddy kink with Eddie (because Im me), and everything in between
ANGST (again because I'm me)
Y/N's kinda blah about the experiment mentioning she's only doing it for the money, mentions of cheating (her ex cheats on her), mentions of alcoholism (briefly touched on)(reader almost breaks her sobriety until Steve appears), mentions of loss of sibling (brief), these three get feisty with each other near the end. Slight cliffhanger ending I guess? There's some things we're going to learn about these three as the chapters go along.
Word Count: 6282
Donate/Tip Me
2075
“Ok, thank you all for coming and being apart of our experiment. I’m just going to go over some rules, guidelines and answer any questions you may have.”
You sigh and fold your arms as you drown out the sound of the doctor in front of you. Could you really call him a doctor? When you signed up to do this, he introduced himself as an inventor and scientist. You genuinely didn’t care either way. All that mattered to you was the ten grand payout you were expected to receive when this stupid thing was over. 
“As stated previously, you will be here for about 3 weeks. You will be provided meals and beds free of charge but any additives like cigarettes or candy do cost extra.”
A boy snorted as he laughed under his breath drawing your attention. There was a total of about 15 people in the room but this boy stood out a bit more. It could be because you saw him outside of the building smoking when you were leaving your first initial interview but he seemed a lot less “put together” than the people around you.
Every participant was given a white shirt with white sweatpants to wear and just like everyone else in the city most of the people were fairly clean cut with their hair pulled or slicked back, little to no makeup, and their face clean shaven. This boy had long, wavy hair that hung around to his shoulders and it seemed like he hadn’t brushed it in months. He dawned tattoos on his arms that had some of the people around him flashing him dirty looks like he was unkempt. 
You had a tattoo but it was hidden under your shirt by your heart where only you would see it. 
When his chocolate-colored eyes briefly locked with yours, you shifted your gaze back to the man who was speaking. 
“Every other day, you will be in the vessel for 4 hours and we do administer a calming agent to make sure you’re relaxed through the experiment.”
“Why? I thought you said this wasn’t dangerous.”, a woman interrupts beside you.
“It’s not, Mrs. Lynette, but it can be slightly…jarring… to see yourself in a different environment. We want you as relaxed as possible.”
“Excuse me. Can you explain that a bit more, please? Different environment.”, a boy asks as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. 
You ran into this boy as well after your interview. He bumped into you as you were opening the door to leave, mumbling an apology before holding it open wider for you to step through. His smell always lingered with you even when you went back home, trying to identify where you knew it from. It was definitely cologne but it felt so familiar. 
He seemed like everyone else around him with all of his hair pushed back and his face clean of any stubble but his body language screamed that he was different. Up until this point, will everyone was sitting up straight and listening, he was leaning back with his large palms rubbing his knees as his long legs rested out in front of him. 
After asking his question, he glanced towards you before you both looked towards the doctor.
“It’s hard to explain but the best way I can is you will getting glimpses into different universes and realties. They are you just in a different plain so to speak.”
“Will we be hurt or anything?”, someone else asked.
“No, not in this universe anyway. You are only an observer. You won’t be able to interact or change anything.”
“So what’s the point of this experiment exactly?”, you ask more so out of curiosity than anything. 
The doctor smiles as he presses his clipboard to his chest. 
“To learn. Learn about other worlds, other universes, other ways we can make this universe better.” Your eyebrows raise sarcastically as you huff and gross your legs. “You guys will be the first people to test this system out so we’re hoping for a fun and unique month.”
“Will we be running into each other? What do we do if that happens?”, a man inquired. 
“We chose participants at random from different backgrounds with different circumstances and add in that there are so many factors that branch out universes or timelines. The chances of you running into someone in this room are one in a trillion. Less than even…”
You began to tune him out again until the feeling of hand touching your arm got your attention as you and the other participants were led to a large white room with 15 different pods or “vessels” as he called them. The nurse who guided you, held your hand as you stepped in and laid down in the somewhat comfy Styrofoam bed underneath you.
“Alright, Miss Y/L/N, you’re going to feel a slight pinch…” You hissed as the needle pierced your arm but the effects were instant as you laid your head back and felt your body calm. “Good. Now I’m just going to put these goggles over your eyes. This is what will allow you to see the universe. Remember, you’re just watching not interacting.”
“Okay.”, you murmured as you allowed her to place the bulky equipment over your head.
The sound of the pod closing had your fingers twitching as sounds around you became muffled. 
“Alright, Miss Y/L/N, dropping down in 3, 2, 1—”
##################
You sat in your car staring at the stupid club sign debating if you should go in or drive away. You had been sober for the past 3 years but your ex-boyfriend (as of today) decided to cheat on you with a friend from his office and all you wanted to do was drown your sorrows in booze. 
“Kallie, I’m sorry.”, you whisper as you open your car door and are promptly hit with freezing cold winds. After running to the front door, you show the man your id and he allows you entry. 
Smoothing down your hair, you quickly remove your jacket and hand it to the person behind the counter and thank her as you take the ticket you’re handed. The beeper clasped to your hip beeped but you continued to ignore it knowing who it was. 
As you take a seat at the bar, you glance around at the people dancing under the ambient red light while the band continues to play a slow but rhythmic song that even has you sway. 
“What would you like to drink, Miss?”, the bartender asks and you order the first thing that comes to mind. 
Feeling eyes on you, your gaze shifts towards the stage to see the bands guitarist eyeing you before giving you a soft wink and a smile. At the action, you suddenly feel under dressed in your overalls and long sleeve turtleneck that hugs your figure. 
The man focused on his music again and you couldn’t but watch how his fingers moved across the strings of his instrument. He reminded you of a lead singer from any 90s punk band with his hair slightly spiked up but haphazardly flowing every which way and his black polo clinging to his upper torso to show off every muscle and tattoo he had. His jeans left little to the imagination but you loved the black and white converse that he showed off when jumping into the air as he played out the final song. 
When he laughed and high fived his friend, he scrunched his nose and showed off his teeth making you smile as jealously panged your heart. You wished you were as happy as he seemed. 
Your drink was placed in front of you and you stared at the contents as your fingers played with the rim of the bottle. 
“Are you hoping to drink it with osmosis or?” You had been focusing so hard on your brain you didn’t even notice the guitarist had come up beside you causing you to jump when he spoke. “Whoa! I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you alright?”
God, he smells amazing.
“I’m ok. I was just…lost in my head.”
“I can understand that. I’m, uh, Steve, Steve Harrington.”
“Nice to meet you.”, you smile as you shake his extended hand. “I’m Y/N.”
“Y/N…that’s a beautiful name.”
“Thank you.” Clearing your throat, you try to regain control as you gesture towards the stage. “You guys sounded amazing up there.”
“Thank you, thank you so much. My friend taught me how to play and I’ve been doing it ever sense. I love the rush I get you know?”
“Yeah, I have some idea.”
His amber eyes scan you over as he takes in your soft smile and jittery hands.
“Hey. I have an idea. We’re going to an after party down the street at my friend’s house. His uncle makes a ton of money so he has like this huge mansion we all hang out in after a gig. Would you like to come? He’s a cool dude.”
You weren’t sure what it was about this boy but you felt safe with him. You felt like you had known him for years but you couldn’t figure out how or why. Following your gut, you threw money on the table and started to head towards the front to get your coat. 
“You didn’t finish your drink!”
“I don’t need to, Steve Harrington.”
“Would you mind if I ride with you? We all take a van here.”, the man asks as he slings on his jacket and he grins when your fingers graze his patches. 
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Y/N! I have been looking everywhere for you! Why the fuck are you at a bar?!”, your ex shouts as he meets you halfway up the parking lot. 
“That’s none of your fucking business! Get out of my way!”
“You know you shouldn’t be drinking!”
“And you know you shouldn’t be fucking other women yet here we are.”, you growl as you dig for your keys. 
A hand reaches out to touch you but it’s swiftly pulled back when Steve grabs his wrist. 
“Don’t fucking touch her.”
“Who the fuck is this?!”
As your ex pushes his hand away and steps towards you, the other man steps between you and shoves him back. 
“I’m not going to tell you again. Don’t touch her. It sounds like she’s done with you. Now get the fuck out of here.”
“Or what?”
Again, he steps forward but this time Steve’s fist flies hitting your ex hard in the face. 
“I warned you, asshole.”
As the bouncer comes out to see what’s going on, you hastily grab his arm and run to your car.
***
“Wow. Your friend lives here?”, you ask as you pull up to a two-story large house that took up most of the square footage of the area. “How did you two meet?”
“Um, high school?”, he answers before shutting his door and running around to open yours. “His uncle owns the factory up north and makes a ton of cash. He’s a cool dude and people love working with him.”
“Is that what your friend does?”
“Uh no. Eddie is kind of a freelancer, I guess you would say? He designs websites for people trying to utilize the world wide web. With this whole dot.com thing, he makes good money to. Designed our bands website.”
Steve didn’t even knock before entering the home but the party was in full swing as people around you were cozying up on couches and music blared. There was a pool out back where you could see people diving in and splashing around while couples clung to each other in their swimsuits. The man beside you high-fived people as he passed them, banging his head to the bass as it blared. 
Guiding you around a corner, there were a bunch of boys in front of a big screen tv, screaming towards it as they button mashed the Nintendo 64 controller. 
“Ah come on, man! Fuck you! You can’t use swords when I only have this knife!”
“Pick a better character than, Henderson! Boom!”, a long-haired boy shouted playfully as the character on the screen died. “And that is how you win, baby.”
Grinning wide, he ruffled the boy’s curls before standing and stepping over the back of his sofa.
“Harrington! Hey, man. How was the show?”
“Phenomenal as always.”, Steve beamed as he hugged his friend. “Hey, I want you to meet Y/N. Y/N, this is my friend Eddie Munson.”
As you reached out to shake his hand, he took hold of your own and kissed the back of it as he bowed in front of you.
“Nice to meet you, sweetheart. Can I offer you anything to drink? A beer maybe?”
“Oh, um, no thank you. I don’t…I don’t drink.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrowed as he scanned you over but he chose not to press you on the issue. 
“Not a problem. Let’s head upstairs so we can talk somewhere quieter.”
Still clinging to your palm, Eddie guided as the other boy followed and you took this time to visually take in the boy in front of you. His long hair was pulled back so you could see the beautiful features in his face and the stubble that dusted his upper lip. While everyone else seemed more casual, he was dressed in a button up shirt with black slacks as if he had just got off from some corporate job. 
Like with the other man, something about this boy told you that you could trust him. You had spent your whole life struggling especially within the last 6 years and besides Kallie never felt safe around anyone or anywhere. Even with your boyfriend, you were always afraid something bad was about to happen and oddly enough when it did you weren’t surprised. 
“Welcome to my cozy nook away from the craziness.”, Eddie beams as he falls theatrically into a bean bag on the floor. “Y/N, I know you don’t drink but may I offer you some weed?”
Reaching behind him, he produces a little black box and pulls out some bud that he begins to roll. 
***
You cackle as you laugh at a story Eddie had just told that had both boys beaming your way. 
“Oh my god, it’s 3am. We’ve been up here for almost 4hrs. Do you need to get back to your guests?”
“My moochers? No, sweetheart, I don’t.”, the man answers in a husky drawl that makes you feel warm. “Honestly, Steve here is the only person who doesn’t use me for my cash or free shit so that’s why as soon as he arrives at my place, we come up here.”
“Hm…must be kind of lonely. Not knowing who you can trust.”, you reply absently causing their heads to tilt. “I can understand that.”
“Yeah, poor girl’s going through a breakup.”, Steve relays causing you to sit up and cross your legs. “Something about him cheating?”
“Yeah, um, I came home from work early and they were… fucking asshole. I’m not sure how he knew what bar I was at but—”
“Especially since he seemed to think you shouldn’t be there.” At his comment, you and Eddie shift your gaze his way before your head hangs. “Something about how you shouldn’t be drinking. It’s weird when I met you, you were sitting at the bar with a drink in your hand but you weren’t drinking it.”
When you didn’t respond, Eddie clapped his hands and tossed a smile your way. 
“I have an idea. Let’s play truth or dare. It will help us get to know each other better and you can find out how much of a whiney bitch Steven is.”
The man narrows his eyes jokingly at his friend as you laugh. 
“Harrington, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Is it true… that every time your dad pisses you off you get a new tattoo?”
“Oh yeah. That’s why I have so many.”, he sasses, playfully widening his eyes as he removes his shirt to show them off. “I got this one on my stomach when my dad told me I was a waste of space for running off to join a band.”
“Steve…I’m so sorry.”, you try to comfort, reaching out to run your palm along his warm skin.
“Ed, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Is it true…is it true you don’t smoke?”
Eddie flashes his friend a disgusted face before showing of the joint in his fingers. 
“I only smoke the green stuff, my friend. I used to smoke cigarettes but after a doctor told me I was at risk because my mom died of cancer I quit the stuff.”
“That’s really good. I’m proud of you.”, you grin.
“Thank you, princess. Maybe you can help me talk Tom Delonge over here into stopping.”, he chuckles as Steve lightly kicks his friend’s knee with his bare feet. “Alright, Y/N. Truth or dare?”
“Um, truth.”
“Is it true what your boyfriend said? That you shouldn’t be drinking.”
You blink, taken off guard by his question as both men’s eyes bore into your frame. 
“It’s not that I shouldn’t be. I choose not to.”
“Why?”
“I, um, I used to be an alcoholic. When I drank…I got stupid…and people got hurt.” You glance their way expecting judgement like everyone else in your life but when you’re met with their soft eyes, you smile towards Steve. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Is it true you think less of me because I almost broke my sobriety tonight?”
As your head slightly hangs, he reaches out with his fingers to lift your chin. 
“No, it’s not true. I get it, honey. Fucking asshole broke your heart and you just wanted the pain to stop. He had no right coming at you the way he did like he’s your fucking dad or something.” You can’t help but exhale as his thumb caresses your cheek before dropping his hand back around his legs and focusing on Eddie. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Is it true you think less of Y/N?”
“God no. I think she’s strong, funny, and extremely beautiful.” You blush at his compliment, reaching out to lightly swat his arm before he swiftly grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to his lap. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
The long-haired boy smiles mischievously at your answer.
“I dare you…to kiss Steve.”
“You don’t want to kiss me?”, you ask incredulously as his grin widens.
“I do but I don’t want Harrington to think I’m trying to steal you away.”
Releasing you from his grasp, you lean back and scoot closer to his friend, closing your eyes as you inhale the smell of weed and nicotine on his breath. 
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”, Steve whispers and that comfort is all you need as you tilt forward so your mouth can crash to his. 
The best way to describe what you were feeling was safe and you reveled in it, falling deeper and deeper in with every movement of his lips. His palm tenderly cupped your face to bring you closer as his tongue invaded and danced with yours. 
“Hey, hey, hey. We aren’t done playing!”, Eddie chuckled as he swatted your two apart but Steve was unwilling as he lifted you off the floor and placed you in his lap with your back to his chest. His strong, tattooed arms wrapped around you and you melted into his embrace. “You’re turn, princess.”
“T-Truth or dare, Steve.”
“Dare, baby.”
“I dare you to take off your pants and underwear.” With one arm still wrapped around your stomach, he unbuckled his belt and awkwardly shoved down everything he was wearing below his waist. “F-Fuck.”, you moaned when his large cock sprung free and hit his stomach. 
“Harrington, she’s not going anywhere. You can let her go.”
“I like feeling her against me. Truth or dare, Munson?”
“Dare, dude.”
“I dare you to help Y/N out of her clothes so we can get a good look at this beautiful woman.”
Eddie crawls towards you on his hands and knees, playfully grabbing your ankle and sliding his palm up your calf. 
“Is that ok, sweetheart? Can we see your body?”
“Y-Yeah, yeah of course. Um!” They pause at your exclamation as both sets of eyes look down at you with concern. “I just feel like I should tell you…this isn’t normal for me…like I don’t go around jumping into bed with every guy…I meet at a bar.”
As you struggle through your words, Steve kisses your temple while Eddie unhooks your overalls. 
“No judgments if you did, babe. We’re not like that either. I’m assuming Harrington here really likes you. He’s never brought a girl to the after party before.”
Lifting your hips, you allow him to slide off your pants while you help by removing your turtleneck and tossing it to the side. 
“Is that true?”
“I’m, um, a little shy believe it or not.”, the man giggles as his lips lean down to kiss your neck.”
“Truth or dare, Y/N?”
“Truth.”, you pant as their hands caress your skin. 
“Is it true you’ve never been with two men before?”
“Yes, it’s true but…”
“But what?”, Eddie coos his lips attach to the other side of your throat. 
“I trust you. I can’t explain it but I do.” Neither man said a word as they continued to suck on your skin before you aggressively grabbed the long-haired boy’s collar and forced him to face you. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you both to fuck me.”
Lurching forward, his mouth needily kissed yours and you moaned at the taste of the joint on his lips. After hastily ripping off his shirt and pants with his own boxers, he pumped his cock in your direction and you didn’t even hesitate as your palm took hold of his girth and your tongue ran along the tip.
“Fuck, that’s it, baby. Spit on it. Get it nice and wet.” Eddie bites his bottom lip when your eyes flick up to meet his as you spit on his mushroom head and stroke it along his shaft. 
A loud moan ripples through from your throat when you feel Steve adjust you slightly before sliding his fingers under the waist band of your panties and run his fingers through your folds. 
“Shit, honey. Already so wet. Is this because of us?” When you nod, he mewls as he kisses your cheek. “Go ahead, pretty girl. Suck my friend’s dick. I got you.”
You did as he suggested and Eddie’s fingers tangled in your hair as he lightly thrust his hips, pushing himself as far down your throat as he could go. Your own whimper vibrated against him as Steve breached your entrance and slid one of his own digits into your cunt. 
“Goddamn it, Ed. She’s so fucking tight. I wonder how she tastes.”
His friend pants out a laugh as he bends down and lifts you off Steve’s lap to place you directly onto the floor.
“If you wanted to eat her out all you had to do was ask. Is this ok, Y/N? The floor isn’t cold or anything?” Shaking your head, you reach for his lips and he smiles at your eagerness as his hands roam your skin. “You really are beautiful, baby. What’s this?”, he asks as he lifts off your bra and his fingers trace the ink on your chest. “Who’s Kallie?”
“My sister. She died three years ago.”
Eddie’s eyes scanned yours before leaning down to give you a gentle kiss. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
Feathery light kisses grabbed your attention as Steve traced your thigh with his lips before deeply inhaling you through his nose between your legs. 
“You smell good, honey. Can I make you feel good?”
“Please.”, you beg and he obliges as his tongue runs up your slit to your clit. 
Your fingers played with his hair and with every light pull, he would moan making your eyes roll back as Eddie’s palm massaged your stomach and up between the valley of your breasts. 
“Does his tongue feel good?”
“Yes. C-Can I…Can I taste you again?”
As he pushed up onto his knees, you stuck your tongue out and he licked his lips as he tapped his cock against the muscle. 
“Now keep your tongue flat, baby, and I’m gonna fuck your throat while Stevie here makes you cum.”
At the sound of his name, the boy tilted back and spit directly into your hole, eliciting a filthy moan from you as he slid two of his fingers inside of you. Squeezing your eyes shut, you allowed Eddie to use you as he pumped his length hard and you gagged around him. 
The sound drove Steve crazy and he wrapped his lips around your bundle of nerves as the obscene sound of slurping filled the room. 
“Good girl. Fuck, baby. Cum on his fingers and keep that throat open for me. That’s it.”
Your pussy clung to Steve’s digits as the ball dropped and you came aggressively as he helped you through it. Kissing his way up your stomach, his lips lingered along your tattoo before you felt his tongue lick your skin to your neck. 
“You taste so fucking good, honey. Taste yourself.”, he commanded in a breathy whimper as he offered you his fingers that you eagerly sucked on. “Atta girl. Sweet like you.”, he cooed with a smile as he kissed your cheek.
They exchange a glance and switch places, Steve on his knees by your head while Eddie opens your legs wider and tosses one of them over his shoulder. You mewl as he glides his cock through your folds, collecting your slick as he pumps his hips. 
As he begins to push inside of you, you wince slightly at his size while he carefully inches forward.
“I know, baby. You’re ok. Everything’s ok.”, the other man tries to sooth as he pets your head and places tender kisses along your face. “You’re doing good.”
A jolt of electricity shoots through your body and your gaze shifts towards Eddie who was rubbing your clit with his thumb as he continued to watch himself disappear inside you.
“F-Fuck, it’s so big.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m—fuck, you’re so tight—I’m almost all the way in.”
Searching blindly behind you, it takes Steve a moment before he realizes what you’re looking for. 
“You want to suck my cock, Y/N? Can you handle us both right now?”
“Yes…please…”, you whine making him groan with need as he scoots closer to your side. 
When his friend bottoms out, he freezes allowing you to get used to his size as he tenderly kisses and rubs your calf against his shoulder. 
“Fuck me.”
Finding a steady rhythm, Eddie obliges and so does Steve as he guides his length into your awaiting mouth. 
“Shit, baby. Your mouth is amazing. Taking—mmph—taking us both so well.  Y-Your pussy’s so good you shut Munson up.”, he chuckles as his friend’s head hangs absorbing the pleasure while he clings to your thigh for leverage. 
Biting his bottom lip, calloused fingers play with your nipples as the other boy tilts down a bit more to do the same. 
“Oh, Eddie!” As he leaned over, he brought your leg with him, pushing his cock deeper into your cunt and slamming into buttons you had no idea even existed. “Right—Right there.”
“Right there, princess? Ok…ok, I got you, baby. Daddy’s got you. Fuck.” The title threw you off guard as your pussy gripped him like a vice. “Fuck, Y/N. You like that, don’t you? Like knowing Daddy’s taking care of you?”
“Jesus.”, Steve murmured as you bobbed your head faster around him. 
Placing his palms flat on the floor to balance himself, the boy above you rolled his hips practically punching the air from your lungs as you choked and spit spilled from your lips. 
Steve hastily backed away, allowing you catch your breath as your eyes locked with Eddie’s. 
“Say it, sweetheart. Beg Daddy to make you cum.”
“P-Please, Daddy. Make me—ahhh—make me cum. Oh f-fuck.”
Skin slapping into skin echoed through the room till your back arched and your nails dragged down his bare chest as you came. 
“Jesus H. fucking Christ. W-Where can I cum, Y/N?”
“Inside…Inside please.”
Dropping your leg to the side, Eddie collapsed on top of you with his hands on either side of your head as he grunted in your ear. 
“Good girl. Good fucking girl. Mmph—take my cum, baby. For pussy this good, it’s yours.”
His entire body trembled as his release spilled inside of you, a little chuckle leaving his lips at the feeling of your cunt milking him till he was empty. 
As soon as he rolled away, Steve was at your side softly kissing your sweaty face. 
“Are you ready for me, pretty girl?” When you nod, he swiftly wraps his arms around you and spins you around until your giggling on top of him. “You really are beautiful, Y/N.”
“Very. Your ex is a fucking moron.”, Eddie smirked as he lazily reached out to run his fingers along your leg. 
Your own palms run along the guitarist’s chest as you take in all of his unseen tattoos that were slightly obscured by the hair on his chest. 
“I like this one. ‘Jai guru deva, om’.”, you smile as you point to the words. “I wouldn’t expect a man like you to like the Beatles.”
Steve’s own grin grows as he pushes up onto his elbows. 
“You really are something, aren’t you? Definitely more than what’s on the surface.”
Your lips kiss his and he cups your face bringing you with him as he lies down flat on his back once more. Feeling movement below you, you both moan as his grinds his hard, leaking cock between your legs. 
As you reach between your bodies, the two of you watch as you hold onto him and gradually sink down onto his length. 
“Oh my God, Steve.”
“Fuck, honey. T-Take your time. We have all night.”
As you slowly roll your hips, his large, gorgeous hands run along your thighs, up your sides, and to your breasts, kneading them in his palms as your own balance against him.
“There you go, baby. Am I—mmph—am I deep? Can you feel me right here?”
When his hand pressed on your lower tummy, your head fell back as you whimpered his name and covered it with your own. You found a rhythm as you bounced on top of him, his moans mixing with yours as he watched your body move.
“God, Y/N, you’re so fucking sexy riding my dick. That’s it, baby. Harder.”, he commanded as he spanked your behind causing you to fall forward and hold yourself up with your palms. Tilting towards you, his mouth wrapped around your nipple as his tongue flicked against the bud and he hit your ass again.
“Fuck, Steve.”
“That’s right, pretty girl. Mmm—say my name like that again.”
“S-Steve…please…I’m…”
Wrapping his arms around your back, he yanked you flat against his chest and planted his feet into the carpet as he thrust up into you roughly. Fingers threaded through your hair and pressed you to his neck as your lips clung to his skin as he grunted into your ear. 
Your screams were muffled but he could hear you chanting his name as you came, driving him over the edge as his rhythm faltered and you felt his release coat your quivering walls. 
You both continued to pant as he rolled you onto your side and a second set of lips tenderly kissed your shoulder. 
“Are you alright? Do you need anything? Water?”, Eddie asked with a kindness behind his tone that made you smile. 
“No, thank you. I’m alright.”
Nodding, he absently reached behind him and produced a blanket to cover your bodies with while Steve continued to pet your head. 
“Hey, um, I have a gig on Friday in Indianapolis. Would you want to come?”
You giggle at his shyness as his friend grins wide behind you. 
“I think it’s cute after what we just did, you’re still nervous to talk to me.”
“I’m not nervous to talk to you. I’m nervous…we won’t hear from you again and I don’t know about Ed but I’d like to get to know you more.”
“I definitely would. I’m going with him on Friday for a meeting and I’d love to experience one of his concerts with you. We can all get dinner afterwards…talk.”
“Truth or dare?”, you ask Eddie as you both softly smile at each other. 
“Truth.”
“Is it true that I have some demons in my past that may frighten you away from me?”
The man blinks as he takes in your question before leaning down to lightly kiss your lips. 
“It’s true but it takes a lot to scare me away, sweetheart. Trust me. We’ve got some demons to but we’re learning to deal with them just like you seem to be. Maybe we can even help you.”
“Truth or dare?”, you ask Steve as your turn your attention to him. 
“Truth, honey.”
“Is it true that this isn’t a one-time thing for you both? That you genuinely like me.”
Smiling, his tattooed hand cups your cheek as he gives you a sloppy kiss that makes you laugh. 
“It’s true. I fell for you the moment you walked into the bar. As soon as I spoke with you I knew Munson would like you to. We don’t have to move fast or anything. We can take this as slow as you need to.”
Eddie’s fingers tilt your head his way.
“Truth or dare, Y/N?”
“Dare.”, you answer as you bite your bottom lip coyly. 
“I dare you to stay and give us a chance because we promise you won’t regret it.”
########################
“Whoa, Whoa, Miss Y/L/N! Everything’s ok!”, the nurse tries to comfort as you jerk up and remove the goggles from your eyes. 
Glancing around you, you hear the sounds of the other participants crying and talking over one another as they describe what they saw. 
“Ok, let me just check your vitals really quickly and then we can give you another relaxer to calm you—”
“Mr. Harrington, WAIT!”, another nurse shouts across the way as the man heatedly stomps away from her to grab Eddie’s sleeve and tug him out of the room. 
“Mr. Harrington! Mr. Munson! Hang on now!”
“Miss Y/L/N, please come back!”
You ignored her as you jumped out of your pod to follow where they were going. 
“You said it shouldn’t be a fucking problem!”, Steve hissed.
“I didn’t think it would but I’m not a fucking scientist. I haven’t physically spoken to you or seen you two years and it’s not like we were the best of friends before that! I figured ‘other realities’ of me would also know what a fucking asshole you are!”, Eddie growled back as he pushed the man away. “I didn’t expect it to be like that…”
“You two know each other?!”, you angerly whisper causing their heads to jerk your way. “So much for fucking random. Look, just keep your fucking mouths shut! I’m not getting kicked out of this thing because you two screwed everything up.”
“Excuse the hell out of me, Miss high and mighty but how is what happened our fault?!”, the pretty boy scolded as he crossed his arms. “How do you know us?”
“WHAT?!”
His palm promptly slams over your mouth as he pulls you around the corner and shoves you against the wall. 
“Shhhh! You’re not the only one who needs to be here. Now, Eddie probably appeared because we’ve met each other so how do we know you?”
“I’ve never seen either of you in my life.”, you answer when he removes his hand. “And how do I know you don’t know me?” As his eyes scan you from head to toe your own roll. “Really? You are a fucking asshole.”
“I’m not trying to be. I just…My class of people don’t usually run into yours.”
“How do you even know what my class is?”
“I mean…”, he responds, gesturing absently up and down towards you.
“Wow. You were such a better person in the other universe. If I’m so beneath you, how do you know him?”
“Look, it’s none of your fucking business alright? Let’s just chalk that up to being a fluke or something and move on with your lives, hm?”, Eddie intervenes as you and Steve sigh and relent. 
“Miss Y/L/N! You three need to get back inside so we can take your vitals and prepare for the interview.”, a nurse commands as she points into the room. 
“Y/L/N. As in Michael Y/L/N?”
Without answering, you hurry back inside and fold your arms as you sit back near your pod.
“So you do know her?”, Eddie whispers as they both slowly enter the room. 
“Uh…no. No, I know her last name. You do to…Our private school was named after him.”
The long-haired boy blinks as he tries to comprehend the information in front of him. 
“Wait a minute. Why DON’T we know her then? Shouldn’t she be like a billionaire or something?”
“I don’t fucking know. Just drop it, ok. Like you said, it’s a fluke or something. Let’s just avoid her and avoid each other so we can do this and get outta here.”
#################
@baileebear @jasminelafleur @twirls827 @dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @starboygf @alba8688 @crybabyddl @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @utterlyinsanity @hardladyheart
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03jyh23 · 5 months ago
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🩶⌇nights like these┆choi san
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established relationship, idol!san x gn!reader
│synopsis: the one where you are san's priority
│genre: hurt/comfort
│trigger warnings: descriptions of chronic illness, pain, nausea, and emotional distress
│words: 2.4 k
│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.
!minors do not interact!
— hi there my lovely people! this one is a requested work that is very important to me! the person who requested it shared their struggles with me, so i put a lot of care and effort into writing this piece. i hope it brings them comfort and resonates with anyone else going through similar challenges. thank you for trusting me with your story. ♡
love, monika ♡
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you: sannie, im sorry but im not gonna make it tonight, have fun! love you x
You barely typed out the message and leaned deeper into the soft pillows. You hated feeling that way, feeling completely out of control of your own body. It was as if your own flesh and bones had turned against you, conspiring to ruin the moments you had been looking forward to. Another rush of nausea hit you, stronger this time, and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around yourself, trying to find some semblance of comfort. The persistent and haunting question lingered in your mind: Why were you so out of control? You wished you could muster the strength to push through, to be by San's side, but tonight, your body had other plans. You were helpless against a body that sabotaged all your important plans. You wanted the energy to be with San, to support him and not to disappoint the person you loved yet again, but tonight, you knew there was nothing you could do to feel better. You just needed to lay through it  
After all this time of having this health problem, you learned just how to live with it, so since early morning you tried to push the symptoms aside, focusing on getting ready. It was a routine you had perfected—ignoring the pain, the nausea, the overwhelming fatigue. You had become a master of disguise, hiding your struggles behind a cheerful facade. But tonight, even your best efforts weren't enough. 
Usually, you would go about with your day, that's why you were currently lying flat on your bed dressed in that pretty outfit San bought for you especially for tonight, all ready to go and celebrate with him. Just as you were about to leave, the usual symptoms hit you with the power of a train. It was as if your body had chosen this exact moment to remind you of its frailty, to assert its dominance over your will. Tonight was supposed to be different. Tonight, you were supposed to be standing beside San, holding his hand and cheering for him. You had been looking forward to this night for weeks, planning every detail. The thought of disappointing him weighed heavily on you, maybe even heavier than the nausea. You knew how much it meant to him to have you there, and the guilt gnawed at you from the inside. 
A burning stomach pain flared up, adding to the discomfort. It felt as though your insides were on fire, each wave of pain more intense than the last. You clutched your stomach, curling up tighter, wishing for some relief. The pain was relentless, a cruel reminder of the battle you were fighting within your own body. It was moments like these when you felt most defeated, most vulnerable. 
"Baby?" you opened your heavy eyes only to see San kneeling beside the bed, eye level with you. You didn't even notice you had fallen asleep. His eyes were filled with concern, his short, black hair was styled back, making him look incredibly elegant. He wore a white shirt with the first few buttons casually unbuttoned. His eye makeup was minimal, with just a hint of eyeliner to accentuate his eyes, exactly the way you always liked it. He must have rushed out straight from his dressing room, you thought as you blinked a few times to get rid of the tiredness. 
"Sannie? What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. 
San reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. 
"I just had a feeling that today is rough on you. You didn't reply to any of my calls, so I rushed home," he said softly, his voice filled with concern and love. "I couldn't just leave you here alone," he said softly. "I wanted to be here for you." 
"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to ruin your night," you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion. 
San shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hey, don't say that. You could never ruin my night. I just want to be here with you, make sure you're okay," he reassured, his hand gently stroking your head. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, overwhelmed by his kindness. 
"I just hate feeling like this, being a burden," you admitted, your voice trembling. 
San’s expression softened even more. His fingers traced the few tears that managed to escape your eyes, then he kissed your forehead whispering, "You never are nor never will be a burden." You closed your eyes, feeling the gentle touch of his soft lips against your skin, a tingling warmth spreading through you. The tension in your muscles began to melt away as San’s fingers traced soothing patterns along your arm. You took a deep breath, allowing the warmth of his presence to envelop you. The pain and nausea, though still present, seemed to fade into the background as you focused on the steady rhythm of his touch. 
"But the party?" you mumbled out, "The boys must be so disappointed." 
San shook his head gently, his expression softening even more. "Don't worry about them right now. The boys understood, and Hongjoong reassured me it was all good. What's important is that we take care of you," he said soothingly, his fingers continuing to trace comforting patterns on your arm. 
"Thank you, Sannie," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "For being here." 
He kissed your forehead again, lingering a bit longer this time. "Of course, my love. Always," he whispered back, his breath warm against your skin. You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it eased some of the guilt that had been weighing you down. "Can you stand up? We need to get you in something comfortable first," San suggested gently, his hands ready to help you. You nodded weakly, grateful for his help as he eased you out of the outfit and into something more comfortable. 
"Is it any better now that you've slept for a while?" he asked, his voice filled with gentle concern as he rearranged the pillows on the bed. He brought an extra blanket, knowing you would likely get cold. 
"A little," you admitted, your voice still weak but filled with gratitude. "But I can feel the migraine creeping in slowly," you added, your voice tinged with fatigue and frustration. 
San nodded, his brow furrowing slightly with worry. "I'll get your medication and some water," he said, standing up to fetch the items. 
"I don't think I can take the medications," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "It feels like if I swallow anything, I would just rush to the toilet." 
San paused, his eyes filled with concern. "Okay, let's not push it then," he said softly, returning to your side. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to rest your head on his shoulder. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, a soothing rhythm that started to calm your racing thoughts. He began drawing gentle patterns on your back, a gesture that always made you relax, his touch tender. 
You breathed in his cologne and felt your stomach clenching. The scent, usually comforting and familiar, now seemed overwhelming to your already sensitive senses. You backed out from his arms, holding a hand to your face to stave off the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake you. San looked at you with wide eyes, his brows furrowing slightly in confusion and concern before it hit him. "Love, I'm so sorry, it's the perfume? Too strong? I'm gonna change," he said hurriedly, already moving towards the closet to find something else to wear. 
"It's okay, Sannie," you mumbled, trying to muster a reassuring smile. "I just need a moment." 
But San had already swapped his formal shirt for something more comfortable and less scented. He returned to your side, "Better now?" he asked softly, his eyes searching for any sign of relief. 
You only nodded, and he took your hand, guiding you to the bed. "You are babying me too much," you mumbled as you followed in his steps, your voice tinged with a mix of gratitude and mild embarrassment.
San shook his head, a playful glint in his eyes. "Hm...." he scoffed dramatically, "I think I don't baby you enough, though?" 
You couldn't help but let out a small laugh despite the pain and discomfort you were feeling. San's dramatic tone and exaggerated expression brought a moment of lightness to an otherwise heavy night. "Really?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him, trying to match his playful energy. 
"Absolutely," he replied with a grin, sitting down beside you. "Now, let's get you settled." You settled back into the bed, feeling a bit more at ease with San by your side. The pain and nausea were still there, but somehow, with his presence, they seemed a little more bearable. "Do you need me to bring something?" San asked, his voice filled with genuine concern. 
You shook your head slightly, feeling the weight of his love and care enveloping you. "Just stay here with me, that's all I need," you whispered.
"Alright, I will just put the curtains in case the migraine hits," he said as he quickly darted through the room to the windows. You watched him with tired eyes, the room dimmed as he drew the curtains, blocking out the harsh light that often worsened your migraines. The soft, muted light that remained was much gentler on your senses. 
San returned to your side, his movements gentle and deliberate, as if he were afraid of causing you any more discomfort. "Scoot over," San said softly, a gentle smile playing on his lips. You shifted slightly, making room for him on the bed. He carefully climbed in beside you, wrapping his arms around you. 
"Thank you for being so patient with me. I really needed you tonight," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude. 
San held you a little tighter, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what," he murmured softly. San was drawing small circles on your back, your face buried in his chest. Your eyes were heavy, the migraine setting in, and you could feel the pressure building behind your temples. The gentle, rhythmic motion of his hand was soothing, a small comfort amidst the pain and discomfort, allowing you to relax slightly despite the throbbing in your head. 
Just as you began to drift off to sleep, your body started trembling uncontrollably. The sudden tremors jarred you awake, and you felt a wave of panic wash over you. San immediately noticed, his grip tightening around you in a protective embrace. 
"Hey, it's okay, I'm here," he whispered, his voice steady and calming. He gently rubbed your back, trying to soothe your body. "Just breathe, love. I'm right here with you." You focused on his voice, on the warmth of his presence, trying to steady your breath. The trembling slowly began to subside, and you clung to San, feeling a mixture of fear and relief. "Are you feeling dizzy again? Like the last time?" San asked, his voice tinged with concern. 
You nodded weakly, the dizziness making it hard to focus on anything. "Yeah, it's just... everything is spinning," you managed to whisper, clutching onto him. You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing as San's presence provided a comforting anchor. The room seemed to tilt and spin, but his calming voice and gentle touch helped you stay grounded. "I'm sorry, San," you murmured, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. 
San shook his head, his expression filled with love and reassurance. "Don't apologize, my love. You can't control this, and I'm here to help you through it," he murmured softly. "I will keep you safe," he whispered, his voice filled with unwavering determination and love. "Just rest," he murmured softly. "I'll be right here with you." You nodded, feeling the weight of exhaustion pulling you under. San's hand continued to trace soothing patterns on your back, his touch gentle and reassuring. Gradually, your breathing steadied, and you found yourself relaxing into his embrace. 
As you drifted in and out of sleep, you could feel San's steady heartbeat beneath your cheek, a rhythm that grounded you. Hours passed in a blur of half-conscious moments and deep, dreamless sleep. Every time you stirred, San was there, his presence a steady source of comfort and love. You could feel his fingers brushing through your hair, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your head. He held you through the worst of it, never once leaving your side. 
When you finally woke, the pain had dulled to a manageable throb, and the nausea had receded enough for you to sit up slightly. San was still there, his eyes filled with concern and relief as he saw you stir. 
"Hey," he said softly, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he looked at you with concern. "How are you feeling?" 
You took a deep breath, assessing your condition and trying to gather your thoughts. "A bit better," you admitted, your voice still weak but more stable than before. The remnants of fatigue lingered, but you felt a small spark of improvement. 
"I'm glad to hear that," San replied, his smile growing a bit wider with relief. "Do you think you can eat something light? Maybe some broth or a bit of toast?" 
You nodded slowly, appreciating his care and the gentle way he always seemed to know what you needed. "I think I could try," you said, feeling a bit more hopeful at the thought of eating something. 
"Alright, let me order something, hm?" San said, giving you a reassuring smile as he gently helped you sit up against the pillows, adjusting them to make sure you were comfortable. 
"Thank you, Sannie," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude for his unending support and the way he always put your well-being first. 
San smiled warmly, his eyes filled with love and tenderness. "Anything for you, my love," he said, placing a soft kiss on your lips, his touch gentle and comforting. As he reached for his phone to place the order, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude and love for having someone like San by your side, through thick and thin. 
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♡│requests are open │
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fuxuannie · 2 years ago
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This is honestly my first time requesting anything so I'm kinda nervous ngl lol.
May I request some HCs with Dan Heng, Jing Yuan and/or Blade with a GN Reader who dislikes physical touches? As in, if someone hugs them and grabs their arm they recoil as fast as they can because they're uncomfortable? And will only be okay with physical affection when it's needed or if it's their partner?
Thank you for possibly considering this request, and have a good day or night :)
* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4) x gender neutral reader
* prompt : request ♡
* authors note : this request is SO me-core, as someone who's horrible with physical touch, i think im the best candidate for this /j thank you for the req and i'm honored im your first! this is really messy, im sorry T.T
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DAN HENG was one of the first people to notice your discomfort with physical touch when you joined the Astral Express. March 7th tried to cling onto you, but instinctively you moved out of her way. (and admittedly almost made her stumble and fall doing so.) Profusely apologizing for that little accident, but you never really let people hold onto you.
So when you two got together, Dan Heng was pleasantly surprised with how clingy you really were. Whenever he was working in the Archives, the arms wrapping his waist and leaning on his back couldn't have been anyone else, he didn't wanna ask or point it out, just incase you would've been embarrassed or awkward about it.
Not only giving, but receiving. You used to refuse any form of physical touch but now the way he holds you in his arms is a blessing. You fit so perfectly, like you were meant for him, and he's so glad that you are. He helped you learn to love touch, and you helped him realize he loved to touch.
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"I'll be there after work, I promise." You remember JING YUAN saying, and you told yourself you could survive a few hours waiting for him. So there you waited patiently, sitting alone on one of the outdoor tables by the restaurant you planned the date on.
It was almost time for him to arrive, and you were just happy you'd be seeing him soon, but you hear a throat clear behind you. You put your left arm by the back of your seat and turn around. "Hello there!" The man asked, a friendly smile on his face but something felt odd about it. A sixth sense intuition that somehow he didn't have the best intentions.
"You seem to be alone," Oh no. "I can give you a much better time." You force a laugh, flicking your wrist while doing so. "It's quite alright, he'll be arriving any minute now." And that seems to annoy the man, his kindness running thin. "Listen, he's clearly not interested-"
His hand goes up to grab your arm on the chair, but in one swift movement, you stand up and pull away. "Please. Do not touch me so casually." You say sternly, sending a glare towards the stranger. But the familiar feeling of a hand around your waist calms you down, you look at your boyfriend, who looks back at you apologetically. The man had long left, realizing who he may or may not have pissed off.
"I'm sorry I couldn't have arrived sooner." He says with a tired sigh. "It's alright, I'm glad you're here."
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BLADE doesn't exactly care nor mind, he wasn't much of a touchy person either. But he'll do the little things like locking arms or letting you hold onto him.
He will get annoyed and maybe even confront people when it comes to situations where he feels like he has to. His mere glare can send people off running, so you're greatful to have him around.
You did like it when he'd hug you or hold you. It was rare, but when he let himself rest for a few hours, you're his personal pillow for that time period.
Kafka would mess with him every once in a while, touching your arm and making you feel ever so slightly awkward and the glare Blade gives would scare any ordinary person. She loves the reaction she gets out of him, seeing you get pulled away and his hands on your waist posessively.
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"CAELUS, wait-" March 7th and Dan Heng tried to stop him, but suddenly the trailblazer walks up to you and wraps his arms around your figure. The other two expected you two slap him in the face, or something to push him away, but the way you payed no notice to the way he holds onto you surprises them.
"Whaaat..??"
"Oh! Right, this is my partner. Hehe." He'd snicker, already seeing March 7th's absolutely baffled expression. "You have a PARTNER??? AND IT'S (name)?!"
You're known in the Station for being a researcher who despised being touched, most people knew how passive aggressive you'd get depending on how you were touched, and the intentions behind it. "I'm the one exception to that whole thingy they have, I'm just really special." Caelus sparkled in pride, before clearing your throat. "You're about to lose that privilege if you don't let me go and look at some papers."
Caelus apologizes, pulling away as you huff. "Thank you." And you return to your work.
"I still can't believe Caelus pulls.."
"What in the GALAXY is that supposed to mean?!"
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corvidae-00 · 7 months ago
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if your comfortable writing this, can i request joost with a reader who sh? he accidentally finds out by their sleeve accidentally sliding down or something (im on the brink of relapsing and i need angst with comfort 😭😭 not forcing tho lol, if ur uncomfortable writing this don't force yourself!!!)
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A/n: I’m totally okay doing this! As someone who has fought this battle I totally get it and I hope you are okay Anon!! You have people who love you and you are so special in your own ways! Beautiful inside and out 🫶 I hope this helps and know you are never alone!! My DMs are always open honey
CW: SH, angst, sensitive topics, Joost being a sweetheart,
YOU ARE LOVED!! be safe everyone!
988 (suicide prevention)
It had been a pretty hot day in the Netherlands and your boyfriend Joost was set on taking you on a hike! Which would have been totally okay if you hadn’t just gone through a relapse… you don’t even know why it happened or what set you off, you cleaned them pretty well but they were still tender and you knew you couldn’t convince Joost to cancel the hike that he was so dead set on.
“Long sleeves, eh?” He blinks at you in suprise his owlish expression kinda funny “yeah! It’s a cute shirt!” You blow him off waving your hand dismissively and your boyfriend nods with a shrug “it is cute you got me there” he pinches your cheek before leaning down and giving you a big ol kiss on the cheek before peppering your face with them. The sunshine that your boyfriend is always makes you feel so free and warm. “Let’s go!! I want to get there before it gets packed!” He chirps taking your hand and pulling you out to the car after making sure you had enough water and packed the sun screen
After hiking for a few hours you and Joost found the most beautiful ledge looking over a beautiful river covered with pine trees and mountains as far as the eyes can see. “Wow” you mutter wiping your brow and fanning the neck of your shirt “that’s breathtaking” you mutter and Joost chuckles looking over at you “it is isn’t it? But the view infront of me is even better” he purrs and you look over at him blushing madly “don’t even with me” you laugh covering your face with your hands leading to Joost wrapping his arms around you in a big hug “let’s take a selfie!” He says tugging his phone out of his pocket “say cheese schat!” He puts the phone out in front of you two
As the sun gets closer and closer to setting the more you forget about your arms to busy listening to Joost tell you about random things he knows about the wilderness or just random facts he finds interesting. Without thinking you tug your sleeves up to your elbows to help the air circulate through your clothes and cool you off. Joost looks back at you mid laugh at a dumb thing he had brought to your attention about ducks “and then I learned that buffalo!-“ he stops taking a quick glance down at your revealed arms and pauses- and then you watch his face go through a few different emotions- landing on devastation “schat…” he mutters stepping towards you like you might run. Realizing your fatal mistake you can sense the color draining from your features
“Joost I-“ you try to come up with excuses or reasons but you come up empty “I’m-“ you stop feeling your boyfriend slowly pull you into his chest and wrap his arms delicately around you “why would you feel the need to hurt…” he questions searching for the words through his broken English “I don’t know…” you respond honestly not trying to move your arms or run away- just leaning into Joost like a life line “I’m so sorry-“ you start but joost shushes you softly shaking his head “don’t be sorry, you aren’t in trouble and you have nothing to be sorry for” joost says pulling away and gently bringing your arms up to his face kissing around the sounds careful not to irritate them or cause you pain “come to me next time my love” Joost mutters gently looking up at you “please allow me to help you” he pleads and you nod starting to tear up “okay..” you whisper and Joost straightens up and kisses you passionately “I love you with everything I am. I love you for any amount of time your head can come up with and more.” He confesses “and even more than that” he runs his fingers through your hair “I love you” he wipes away your tears and holds you close
When you two got home Joost had pulled you into bed and kissed you more times than you could count praising you and rubbing your back “you are beautiful. So beautiful” joost says softly between the two of you “beautiful”
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A/N I hope you all know how loved you ALL are!!! I may not know everyone but I love everyone and no matter how hard your battle is never give up! You are all so strong!
Sorry if this seemed rushed or wasn’t that good…I’m on my phone and at work 😂 but I saw this request and knew I needed to get it out!!
I love you all!!!!!!
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honeipie · 8 months ago
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FLAG GIRL w/ izuku n katsuki
(fem!bodied reader)
CW: catcalling, suggestive language, cursing, illegal street racing
SYNOPSIS: losing the race (and the bet) landed you the job of being izuku and katsuki’s flag girl, and they’re racing for your attention
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“awe c’mon y/n! thought you said you were a good racer” kirishima’s voice moved over the sound of other screaming about his victory. you waved him off without another thought.
“hm, maybe tonight’s just not the night for me”
“you know what that means” he whistled two girls over. Their hips swayed walking over to you “my girls’ll take good care of ya”
he winked making them giggle like school children. they moved you past the crowd. before you had raced you and kirishima had made a bet.
-
“it’s not fun if you don’t bet something on your race!” he begged as the two of you made your way to the cars. rolling your eyes you leaned against the hood.
“fine, if I win, you have to smash in one of your windows”
he looked as if you’d asked him to kick a puppy.
“fine! and if I win, you have to..” his eyes scanned around before landing on someone walking up to the front “you have to be a flag girl”
“deal”
-
so here you were, attempting to slide into a dark red, leather skirt in the back of a pickup.
“jeez, you’d think they’d have some more room for you guys, but I guess this isn’t an official thing”
“i got you” one of the girls slid her hands down the back to tug them all the way “you learn after a while”
thanking her, you noticed the other girl handing you a top. a matching red top with subtle patterns on the side. as quickly as you could, you wiggled into the top.
“you look hot as hell” one of the girls got you out spinning you around.
“don’t say that. I might quit racing and start doing this” the two of you laughed.
“just remember love. it’s all about confidence. walk out there like you’ve done it before” she handed you a silk red cloth before leading you towards the crowd.
they had started to set up for the next race. from what you could see the next two were leaning against their cars sharing a cigarette.
whistles followed you walking out onto the street in your new clothing. kirishima could be seen putting his arms around both of the women. he pulled them both close, probably whispering about how they did a good job.
the headlights from the cars made your eyes squint. from what you could make out the men had stopped their conversation to stare at you.
their gaze made you nervous. more nervous than all the noise, which usually didn’t sound this loud.
hand reaching to rub your arm your eyes found the girls in the crowd. they yelled out to you over the noise.
“tell them the rules! and have confidence! you’re sexy as fuck!”
a tiny smile made its way to your face. with newfound confidence you made your way over to the two men. the smell of nicotine burning your nose.
“gentlemen,” they both nodded towards you indicating they were listening “the both of you look like you’ve raced before. just not here I’m assuming”
“you’re right” the man with the dark green hair spoke. he had freckles dotted across his face and neck. tattoos along his arm and one on his neck “decided to switch it up a bit n’ I’m seeing it was a good idea”
the blonde scoffed, smoke tumbling out his mouth.
“let’s just get on with it yeah?” his eyes raked over your body quickly, but just long enough for you to notice.
“don’t mind my friend here. he likes to act out when pretty people are around” the freckled man gave you a smile “im izuku, and this is katsuki. we’re ready to race if you’re ready with the rules?”
“oh! yeah! um, so the basics obviously. no killing, and we go by the first or worst rule here” you ducked a little bit to look at both of their cars. they were sleek and fucking expensive “the last thing is just have an escape plan. the cops are on our asses and we don’t need any trouble around here”
katsuki dropped his cigarette to the ground. his foot stepped over it making sure to put it out completely.
“don’t worry princess. we’ve got this under control” the two of them watched you walk away.
“i think we should make a friendly bet”
“what now?”
“whoever wins this race” izuku lifted up his pointer finger decorated with a single silver ring, at you “gets to ask them out”
katsuki’s eyes stayed glued to you as you turned around. the fabric of that dress really wasn’t getting any looser.
“fine with me, but don’t forget” he opened his car door with the cockiest smirk “you’ve always been a fuckin’ loser”
“we’ll see about that shithead”
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xnchxntmxnt · 1 year ago
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hurt comfort with the astarion guy pls I don't don't know anything about the game I've just seen clips of him on youtube and I love him
you aSK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE i love him
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Blood is Rare and Sweet as Cherry Wine
Character: Astarion (Baldur's Gate)
Warnings: reverse hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol (reader doesn’t drink), general astarion backstory information but it’s nothing super specific. not proofread
Notes: almost cried writing this. im sorry. anyway I'm a hozier lover what else is new.
gn reader
reblogs > likes
send an ask to join my taglist
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Astarion stared at the fire, leaning back against one of the boxes under his tent. There was something serene about this area—they’d never been attacked at camp, and it comforted him to know he could let his guard down somewhere. If only slightly. 
He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice you walking up to him until you spoke. 
“Astarion?” you asked, voice softer than he expected. “Are you alright?”
He must have looked upset—he didn’t need your pity, though, so he tried to shake himself back to reality. “What can I do for you, my dear?” he asked, sitting up a bit straighter and taking a sip of the ale next to him. 
You paused, looking at him with your eyebrows furrowed slightly, then finally decided to sit next to him. He offered the ale but you declined. Instead, you turned your body to face him and slowly, gently, brushed a bit of hair out of his face. 
And he flinched. 
You quickly pulled your hand away from him and rested it in your lap. He stared, wide-eyed, terrified of his own actions. He’d inflicted pain on countless others and never felt guilt for it, but such a simple gesture broke him. 
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice small and quiet. It was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. Astarion was always so eccentric, so proud, so…unafraid. This was an entirely new side to him, and he was even more embarrassed to show it to you. He wanted to run, he wanted to hide, but he didn’t have the energy to make his feet move. To make anything move. 
There was a beat of silence, where the two of you only listened to the crackling fire a few feet away. Then, you spoke. “You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
He didn’t understand how you could be so kind to him. There were so many things wrong with him as a person, or things from his past—he’d hurt people, tricked them, found ways for dear Cazador to turn them into mindless little puppets. Like he was, before all this mindflayer business. 
There was so much wrong in the world, and there you sat. His ray of sunshine—his hope. Somehow with you, things seemed a little less dreary. True, there was some mystical dream-being that followed you around keeping everyone from sprouting tentacles, so that was something positive. But your general disposition, the way you smiled at him when you caught him staring at you, the way you snuck away from the rest of camp with him to watch the stars…all these things made him fall so hopelessly in love. 
He couldn’t be that person for you, though. He never learned how to make big, romantic gestures or show his affection in a way that made sense. A way that made sure you knew he adored you in your best and worst moments. Cazador had ruined him—he’d ruined any semblance of having a normal life. On top of being a vampire spawn and ripped away from his life before, he was stuck in an endless loop of servitude and puppetry or constantly fearing for his life. He never learned or could afford, to just relax. You deserved someone who could love you whole-heartedly, not the monster he’d become. 
“I care for you so, so deeply, my dear,” he all but whispered, voice tight with emotion. 
“I know.”
“I cannot, for the life of me…” he trailed off, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “I cannot understand why you care for me.”
His head hung low; you stared at him, shocked and unsure how to react to his words. He felt embarrassed, he felt small—there was nothing he could do, it seemed, to pull himself out of this rut he had himself stuck in lately. 
Then he heard your words. 
“Can I hug you, Astarion?”
He glanced over to you, seeing teh pleading look in your eyes. You’d asked. Maybe that made him feel a little more normal, a little less messed up. Hesitantly, he leaned into your embrace. The moment he felt the warmth of your arms around him, though, he melted. He laid his head on your chest, his full weight falling into you exponentially by the second. And with it, he began to cry. 
It was heart-wrenching sobs that felt like someone stabbing him through the heart every time, but he couldn’t mistake the comfort of your hands running through his hair. The soothing, repetitive motion calmed his nerves more than he thought possible. After what felt like ages, he began to sit up, trying to put himself back together like that hadn’t just happened. His eyes looked slightly irritated, but he tried desperately to wipe any evidence of his outburst from his face—
Suddenly, he felt your hands around his face, thumbs running over his cheeks. He stopped—his hands slowly fell, and he relaxed into your embrace once again. 
“You do not have to apologize for feeling things, Astarion,” you said softly. “And you certainly don’t have to hide from me. Not your thoughts, not your emotions.”
He nodded, turning his head slightly to the side to kiss the palm of your hand. His voice was hoarse but surprisingly gentle. “Thank you. I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s the thing. You do.”
He smiled softly—it had been a long time since he felt like he could do so freely. 
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