#definitely really not safe for anyone

[morgana-ren]

Kindly requesting that you elaborate on the hard dom thing, please. I love your writing!

Since I previously elaborated on why I believe he's a hard-dom, I'll use this as the second part of it and explain what he does and what he prefers in terms of... er... shall we call it 'bedroom etiquette' while skirting a lot of the dirtier details-- unless that's what you were looking for lmao. I'm never opposed to writing filth ever, I just like to make sure it's exactly what you're looking for before I send it.

Astarion is still capable of being quite charming and seductive, albeit not in the same desperate way that he was when it was a survival tool. Now it's more the suave moves of a man fully coming into his confidence. A man who knows what he wants and how to get it. He fully intends to have a relationship with his consort, with a lively and active sex life-- headed by him. Normal sex was something that he was denied. It was never his way, and even when he had a partner that loved and supported him, his traumas got in the way of a healthy intimate relationship. It was never a problem with Tav, but it's obviously something that he is insecure about, as evidenced by several lines when broaching the subject.

It's a man that knows the rules of intimacy well, and can maneuver that aspect remarkably well. You can feel like you have a choice and are being seduced, but in reality, the choice was never yours. You are being told what he expects. The more you push this 'kindness,' the more demanding he will get until he will simply force you to do it.

When he slips his hand around your waist and licks up your neck, whispering softly those well-practiced honeyed words, he knows well the effect it is going to have. You're going to get weak in the knees with a pulsing ball of heat building at the base of your spine.

But... that's where his expertise ends.

He is remarkably skilled at the physical aspect of sex, but keep in mind, it was always what his partner wanted. He was a glorified tool, never allowed to indulge himself with someone he wanted, what he wanted, and how he wanted it. Well, now he fully intends to.

He might ask you to do something, in a manner of speaking. When he says "On your knees, darling" he is offering you a choice. A choice that consists of "You will do this or I will make you." In reality, it's the same choice he had so long ago, which is to say, not really a choice at all.

He is still very much capable of pleasing his partner, as he knows the intricacies of sex and all it entails, but now, it is about him. What he wants. If you get something from him, you are likely being rewarded for obedience or loyalty, or he is manipulating you. I'm sure gifting pleasure is as effortless as breathing at this point, but it is no longer the point.

He may very well ask you for something that you do not want to do. Maybe it's humiliating, maybe it's painful, maybe it's just bizarre. Maybe it's very blatantly something that makes him feel like the big and powerful lord he is. It is something that you will do, because the alternative is having what little control you do have torn away from you. And he will do it. He makes that clear the first few times you have the audacity to tell him no.

Basically, I feel like Astarion is going to finally explore his sexual interests and inner depravities. Keep in mind, this is a deeply traumatized man, and trauma, when ignored, has a way of manifesting. It is a deeply obsessed, possessive man that just sold his soul to the Hells. The lack of control he had before might emerge as a need to be obeyed. He might become cruel and enjoy inflicting pain. He might enjoy eliciting a response from you, such as weeping or begging or squealing. He might enjoy humiliating you for sport and pleasure as a way of inflicting his own inner turmoil upon someone close to him.

He is going to experiment-- and you are going to help him.

If he tells you to kneel before his throne in plain view where anyone can walk in, it's best to just grin and bear it. If he 'finds the wrong hole,' again, you can make him aware, but you are running the risk of spiking is interest. If he wants to hurt you, you can pray that he will be semi-considerate and tend to you after. If it is a punishment, you can expect a level of cruelty that you never would have seen had he not been ascended.

Astarion is a man in pain, and when you take the humanity away, hurt people tend to hurt people. He demands control, and he demands obedience. Perhaps he will tell you to do something simply to test whether or not you will. Just how far your loyalty to him extends. Perhaps he will hurt you, whether it's striking you or biting too hard or squeezing so hard it manages to bruise, and you might find that the wires in his brain have been crossed, and it's arousal that this elicits.

Depending on how depraved he gets, you might be surprised at the things he asks. He might have a few... things... he demands to be called. He might like things that you had no idea a man could like, depending on just how imaginative you are. My guess is that you can bet on it being something that, in a way, victimizes you and leaves you at his mercy.

Perhaps he starts out easy. Fairly generic sex with his name and things you know he likes. But rest assured, it will get far more... degenerate... and rapidly. And he will tell you what he wants with a smile on his face, body language expectant and relaxed, already anticipating your swift action. Now that he is capable of taking that pleasure, he fully intends to.

Astarion, in his ascension, has a terrible relationship with sex. Same as it was for him, it is a punishment that he will use to enact his will and teach you a lesson. It is something that he uses to assert his dominance and take his pleasure, perhaps regardless of what you have to say about it. Remember, he is the lord of the castle. You are his loyal consort. Your body is his. Your mind is his. If he wants to abuse them, he will-- and he shall. Both for his pleasure, and your obedience-- or maybe humiliation.

I have no doubt he is into some things that are utterly wild. Maybe he finds whole new parts of himself. Maybe he gets very strange with the names he likes. Honestly, I can see almost anything working with him. I could literally twist anything into being something he's into. That's the bittersweet positive to Ascended Astarion. You want him to spank you and make you call him daddy? I could see it. You want him to choke you or slap you or tie you up and go by big brother or professor or master or literally anything else? I could see it. Maybe he gets some exotic new tastes. Maybe you walk into the bedroom one day and he's sitting there with a placid smile and some very ominous looking things lying about. Maybe it's a knife. Maybe it's a candle. Maybe it's a whip. Maybe you spend the next four hours partaking in the most humiliating thing of your life while he is utterly gleeful. His body and soul have been twisted and submerged into the black stygian waters of depravity.

It comes with the 'beholden to the hells' territory.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Tbh I feel like going to the US while the Nazis are in power is suicidal. So of course I don't understand your choice of going instead of your SO coming to Europe. But while I don't understand, I wish and pray for you to be safe. Whatever you choose, I hope you guys will be okay

You might be right. I have no idea what the future has in store or if I'll come to regret it. But I've already stated my reasons. As it stands, with the year-long process we've already started and that we can't just flip on a dime overnight, my partner can't come and stay in Europe legally just like that. Legal immigration is not that easy in one way or the other. Also... Yeah, I've stated that before, but one shouldn't underestimate how shitty things have been getting in Europe for the past few years as well, and how the influence of the US (which is huge) is likely to make things worse. So again I'm not 100% sure whether that'd have been better anyway.

Also also... Ima be real, I've shared that before, but the time where I was separated from my partner due to the travel ban was the only time in my life where I had actual suicidal ideation. I don't want this to happen again. That's why I'm making moves so it doesn't, first and foremost.

[queenlucythevaliant]

I've listened to TTPD three times now, twice alone and once at a listening breakfast with friends! Thoughts:

I liked quite a lot of it, but I'm not immediately blown away.

Current favorite is "The Bolter," followed by "But Daddy I Love Him," "The Prophecy," and "Florida!!!" in no particular order.

I loved the breadth of feelings that the album addresses. You really get a sense of a whole emotional landscape.

It's in strong and compelling conversation with Taylor's whole body of work without being too excessively self-referential. "thanK you aIMee" is the notable exception.

A lot of the songs are overwritten: she uses $20 words in place of $2 words, repeats herself, and dulls the power of what works by surrounding it with a lot that doesn't. If we go by Coleridge's definition that poetry is the best words in their best order, then yeah. She definitely needs an editor.

However, none of the lyrics that people seem to be highlighting as "cringey" bother me at all. I've always loved Taylor's proclivity for small details, even strange or out-of-place ones.

I would really love to gently help Taylor out with her literary allusions. They're a long-standing struggle for her, and even going in I was a little worried for that aspect of the album based on the marketing. Could've been worse, but most of them could still stand to be a whole lot sharper.

The songs tend towards very consistent production and tempo. Whether you want to call that cohesiveness or homogeneity is a matter of opinion.

My great, secret wish for this album was that it would feature a bunch of orchestra/strings, which would've meshed great with the dark academia vibe. Clearly, I didn't get it. Oh well

[amidnightqueery]

I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless

[affluent-havoc]

Back from playing some Chapter 2 of THH and my gooooosh. I'm trying so hard to take Byakuya seriously and I have at some moments. At the same time though, it's so haaaard! He's so dweeby looking and I know the narrative is trying to make me be intrigued and like "OOooOOO look at this mysterious guy being all mysterious and sinister." But, I just can't! At least not now. Feel I might feel something else once I actually get to the trial (even though I know exactly what's going to happen). For now though, he's just too stupid looking for me to be intimidated in any way. It doesn't help that any messed up stuff he's said so far isn't like, bad?? Sure, making Chihiro cry isn't exactly something one should be proud of him for. How dare he make Chihiro cry! Shame on him! At the same time though, it's more of just like "We be in a killing game" and "Friendship isn't magic, gang". In some ways, he does have a point despite how awful it sounds too. Additionally, sometimes I feel he could just be a lot meaner and he's oddly tame despite this being the doomsday chapter for any Byakuya fan. Maybe it's because with all the fan works I've seen where he's honestly way worse than in canon, anything he says that might've been remotely extreme just feels null to me. Also, again, most stuff is more or less just him affirming the situation their in, how much he's not planning on being buddy-buddy with everyone, and how he sees himself as superior. It also doesn't help with how dramatic the music is (which I am so down for ngl. I'd head bang if I could) which is signaling how "super awful" he's being. Though it just seems a bit too much when he's not being horrendously despicable. And, don't get me wrong! I'm not happy with him! Just shaking my head as he drags Makoto along while being all annoying whenever I click something that isn't the thing he wants me to look at. Like, don't yap at me when I'm looking around in the library that YOU dragged me to, Mister! Half of the extension cord is CLEARLY missing!! And, damn. He just seems like some whiny petulant brat bossing Makoto around honestly. So goofily though cus I know what happens in the chapter and I know what he knows and the way he's pulling Makoto along like he's so proud of his handiwork. He's such a nerd. Such a dweeb. Like, that scene when the group are worried about where the hell he is when he was just chilling in the library. For one, man sounded so damn calm talking to Makoto. Not even a hint of being pissed or anything at the beginning. Just kinda matter-of-fact with a slight bit of sass. But also, once he really started being shitty like, it just felt so DUMB! Like how everyone around him was like "Damn. He's smiling so creepy" but, for one, how am I do judge something I'm not allowed to see? Not like they gave him a CG of that said sinister smile. Also, every time I attempt to visualize it it just gets worse. Cus I KNOW he can be cool to me and kinda bad ass and even a bit sinister too! I know he's capable of it! But it's just not clicking with this dialogue for me. Every attempt my brain makes to think of him with a sinister smile just makes me laugh from how dumb and uncool he looks even though he probably thinks he's hot shit while being all pompous like that. Another thing I want to mention, and I have no way to segue into this, but when Byakuya said he was "having fun" with the killing game DAMN IT! It so goofy of him to say he's having fun while his sprite screams constipated energy. And, to top it all off, he's not going to get any better in the sense of "Byakuya being so cool and calculating" once Chapter 2 ends. And, in a way, I like that. If only Mondo and Aoi were allowed by the narrative to beat him up more. Such a shame u_u

[wayfinderships]

I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o

[iridescentoracle]

Hello! I am here to ask about your Dior headcanons re: the political cohesion of Doriath. 👀

Oh man, I didn't expect anyone to actually take me up on that!

(Okay so I got partway into writing this and then realized I should probably note up front that I tend to stick to the Silm (& LOTR/the Hobbit where applicable, but they... aren't, here) as the most authoritative version of canon, and I can get into why and where the nuances/exceptions are there (I do say tend to stick, it's not hard and fast!), but that's mostly a side note here: the point is simply that I don't really factor other drafts or the poetic Leithian into my take on Doriath, Thingol, Dior, etc, just what we're told in the actual Silm. I also read the Silm as an in-universe history text compiled by in-universe scholars, who, being people, are going to have their own biases and blind spots, even when they're doing their best to be accurate!)

So, this is a two-part thing: #1, there's the political cohesion of Doriath before & at the time of Thingol's death, which i talked about in the tags of the post that prompted this ask but is kind of necessary as context for the Dior part to make sense, and #2, there's the actual Dior headcanons. Both of these parts are very long because I've never really seen anyone else suggest any of this stuff and I want to explain where I'm coming from thoroughly enough that it actually makes sense to people who aren't me, but the TL;DRs:

TL;DR 1: I think Doriath was probably a hot mess politically after Thingol died, with tensions between various groups of Sindar and Laiquendi in the leadup to Thingol's death & Melian's departure, and more political tensions afterwards between those who wanted Beren & Lúthien to come be the new rulers, and those who thought they should stay gone, with someone still in Doriath taking over.

TL;DR 2: I think Dior became Eluchil, potentially at the request of some portion of the Iathrim, hoping to help prevent Doriath from devolving into civil war, and saw dealing with the Silmaril-Fëanorioni situation as a lower priority than stabilizing Doriath's internal political situation until it was too late.

1. The political cohesion (or rather, lack thereof) in Doriath prior to Thingol's death

So, okay, the thing about Doriath is that we don't actually have any real idea of like... how much the Iathrim liked being the Iathrim? We're never told about any intra-Iathrim conflict, but a) the Silm was probably compiled mostly by surviving Gondolindrim or their descendants, so they wouldn't know about anything liike that unless surviving Iathrim told them, and after the Second Kinslaying I don't imagine many Iathrim would've been eager to talk about how things had actually been tense/messy/etc when they could remember everything as having been perfect until it was ruined by the Fëanorionrim, and doubly so after the Third Kinslaying, so why would anything like that make it into the Silm?

and b) what we do know about Doriath is that it wasn't really Doriath as we know it until Morgoth came back to Middle-earth, and everything went to hell.

At the start of the first age, you suddenly get Doriath (the fenced land!) being the one protected area of a continent that used to be totally free and open. How many Sindar actually didn't particularly care for Thingol's style of leadership, or simply preferred to live nomadic lives, going basically wherever they pleased, until suddenly that wasn't safe anymore, and you were only guaranteed survival if you were close enough to Menegroth to be within the Girdle when it went up? ditto how many Laiquendi had no interest in swearing loyalty to Thingol right after their own king had just been killed, but again, made it to safety and stayed there over taking their chances on their own in the outside world? (None of this is meant as any insult to Thingol himself, by the way; he can have been a good king who did his best for his people and still rubbed some of his new subjects-by-necessity the wrong way, through no fault of his own or theirs.)

I think it's entirely possible that there were always potential political tensions under the surface in Doriath that just... never got written about, because they never boiled over into actual political conflict, and so it was never the sort of tension that had any bearing on the historical record.

Except then Beren & Lúthien happen to the world, and a few years later the Narn, and in the blink of an eye suddenly the only king Doriath has ever had is dead, and the only queen Doriath has ever had is gone and the Girdle with her—and more than that, the only rulers the Sindar had ever had for three thousand years before Doriath existed.

And where a few years earlier I think the Iathrim would probably have turned pretty universally to Lúthien, now she's abandoned them for her human husband—and while she's my favorite character in the entire legendarium hands-down and I don't blame her, I think that's another place there might have actually been some very mixed feelings among the Iathrim that nobody wanted to admit to later because how could anyone have been upset with Lúthien—and on top of her abandoning them for him, I think it's extremely probable most of Doriath did not actually get over their xenophobia about humans in general or Beren in specific when Thingol did (we know for sure at least some of Doriath didn't, cf. Saeros insulting Túrin's mother & sister to his face), but again, who's going to admit to having had a grudge against the holy couple of Middle-earth after the fact, you know?

Conversely, there could've been a sizeable faction of Sindar who had been totally loyal to Thingol until everything happened with Beren & Lúthien, but who found his actions towards them and/or Finrod to be where they drew the line, and while (unlike B&L themselves) that faction stayed in Doriath, there could've been a new, additional tension on that front.

Finally, for all we know there were multiple factions within the Laiquendi of Doriath, with political tensions stretching back to before their king died, rooted in who-even-knows!

2. Dior

All of that, of course, sets up a very, very messy political situation for Dior to walk into.

The Doriath stuff is arguably more speculation than actual headcanon, but here's where the unambiguous headcanons come in: I don't think "Dior Eluchil set himself to raise anew the glory of the kingdom of Doriath." Obviously that's how it got written down, but bluntly, I can't see Beren and Lúthien having a kid that stupid or, like, power-hungry and arrogant?

What I can see is a situation where the messenger that brought word of Thingol's death and Melian's departure asked Beren & Lúthien to come take over as the new king and queen, we promise we're not mad about you leaving and we won't be xenophobic to your husband anymore we swear it's fine now pretty please, Beren & Lúthien said no, and the messenger either asked Dior as a second choice, or said "okay fine none of that was actually true but Doriath is falling apart and we need a leader ASAP and there's about eight different contenders* (mostly kinsmen of Thingol or Laiquendi) being backed by various factions and it's going to devolve into civil war any minute so if you care at all—" and Dior said "would I do?"

(* Ask me about my Galadriel headcanon)

I don't think Dior necessarily wanted to be king of Doriath, and I don't think he saw the throne as his birthright or anything like that; I don't think anyone involved, from Thingol to Lúthien to Dior himself, ever considered the possibility of Thingol dying and needing an heir! I think it's possible he was asked, or at most that he offered, and either way, I think he saw becoming king as taking on a responsibility for the sake of others.

(Which, like, "well here's a potentially impossible task that I'm going to take up even though probably no one thinks I'm actually capable of it, but it's my duty to help others as best I can" sure does sound to me like an attitude one might develop when raised by Lúthien "I kicked Sauron's ass cast a sleep spell on Morgoth and persuaded the Valar to find a loophole in the fabric of reality" Tinuviel and Beren "I stayed by my father's side as an outlaw to give my mother time to lead the rest of our people away hopefully to safety knowing I would never see her or any of them again (and then spent several years being a giant thorn in Morgoth's side for good measure)" Barahirion, where "apparently my grandpa I may or may not have ever met died, guess that makes me the king of a place i may or may not have ever been" does... not.)

I also think he either took on the epithet Eluchil, or was given it by whichever factions of the Iathrim accepted him as king, when he actually became king. Obviously he's going to be referred to as Dior Eluchil even before that in retrospect because that's how he's thought of later, but that doesn't mean it was actually a name he always had, you know?

The final thing is, I think if Dior essentially walked into a political situation five seconds from devolving into civil war, it makes his inaction regarding the Silmaril prior to the Second Kinslaying make more sense: the Fëanorioni have been sitting around doing nothing about the Silmaril in Doriath / with Beren & Lúthien this whole time, the letter saying "hey that's our Silmaril give it back now" is probably just a formality, and Dior's only been ruling for a couple years, there's still plenty of people dubious about whether he should be king at all, he might well be subject to at least some of whatever xenophobia remains about humans in Doriath, and in general all the work he's done on stabilizing the kingdom will absolutely come undone again if he screws up; he's trying to keep a kingdom from falling apart, the Silmaril thing can wait.

Of course, it wasn't a formality, and it couldn't wait, but why would Dior have known that?

[windypuddle]

[doctorweebmd]

accidentally* brainstormed a very complete outline for chapters 4-8 for eih, which should theoretically take us through Part 1. which is. you know. a godsend or whatever.

*accidentally meaning i was just eating delicious pancakes and the thoughts happened. usually its me crying screaming and shitting myself in front of an empty word document where ideas manifest. this is notably much more pleasant.

[birdmenmanga]

(sliding beads along my abacus) I mean no matter how you slice it I'm going to have time to draw something for all of my birdmutuals. Let's be generous and say that I have like 15 of them. I think a third of them will not care enough to put out a list, another handful will forget to do it, which means realistically I think I'm going to end up in the ballpark of maybe like. 7. I feel like 30 minutes is plenty of time to drawr a little gift or something. so let's say max case scenario. 12 birdmutuals submit lists. I could knock that out easily in 3 days.

[sleepylostboy]

Me: Maybe hrt isn’t for me. I don’t really feel much better and I’m always having doubts. Where’s my euphoria? What if this is all just a big mistake? 😣

Also me, looking at my naked body in the mirror and seeing how feminine it’s becoming: Oh my god I’m so pretty actually 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

In short, whenever I’m having doubts just force me to shave my face and take my clothes off

[windupaidoneus]

this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me

[rosicheeks]

I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3

😭

[kisaxiii]

.

[inkykeiji]

omg how did u learn to video edit it’s so hard for me 😣

i took film classes all throughout high school so video editing was taught to me there! then i continued to create & edit videos throughout uni with a group of friends c: after effects i taught myself tho!!! you definitely do not need to know after effects if you’re just interested in basic editing, but if you’re looking to learn vfx + motion graphics and all that fun stuff, after effects is the way to go! it’s a bit of a learning curve but once you get the basics down you’re pretty much good to go!

[txmxkis]

ugh.